It seems like a lot of board members have been losing loved one lately. I thought it would be nice if we had a place where we can talk about the people (or even pets) who have left us. Call it grief counseling if you will. I will go first.


As most of you know, I lost my beloved grandmother in Feb. who was 99 years young. Even at her advanced age, she was as sharp as a tack. She was highly intelligent but unfortunately, she grew up during a time when women didn't have many opportunities.  She wrote a couple of cookbooks and was famous for her cookies. She is even on Wikipedia thanks to my cousin. 

I lived with her for about a year when I was a teen. There was a lot of things going on with my parents which is why I went to live with her. After that year, I went to live with my mother and step-father and I think that hurt Grandma which I feel so guilty about.

She used to always recite Shakespeare. My dad learned it from her as did I. One time, the 3 of us would be reciting Shakespeare as one of my sisters looked at us as if we were from a different planet or something. But, the 3 of us knew-sort of like speaking our own language. When I look in the mirror, I see my grandmother's eyes. There is a photo of her when she was a teen that if people didn't know, they would think it was me. This is one of my favorite photos of her-it is her college graduation photo.

A couple weeks ago, we were all dividing up her stuff-I know it seems so sad. She downsized years ago and made sure everyone got something so these were the things that meant so much to her to hold on to. I got the majority of her books. There was an old book of the complete works of Shakespeare. I said if no one wanted it, I would take it-the book was falling apart but it had my great-grandfather's signature in front. (People wrote their names in their books in those days). No one wanted it but I had the feeling my dad would (he wasn't in the room at the time). Everyone was saying that Dad wouldn't. When he came into the room, I showed it to him and he did indeed want it. I can't understand why no one else in my family understands how important Shakespeare was to Grandma or to Dad & myself.  When we first got to town, we went to my niece's house (because that was the place I knew how to get to). One of the first things she did was hand me Grandma's copy of Gone With the Wind-the same book that I used for a class project when I lived with her. I almost started crying. I didn't realize that the book was a gift to her and my grandfather from her sister (who was also beloved and we lost about 10-15 years ago).

One of sisters used to tell "Funny Grandma stories" to the people she worked with because she was the one who took Grandma to her appointments, grocery shopping, etc. It was her who Grandma counted on more than anyone. I know my sister is probably grieving more than any of us (except for maybe my dad & aunt).

Good-night sweet Grandma. And may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.  :\'( :\'( :\'(

Anyway, that is my memorial. Who is next?


Cat

I also lost my Grandmother 2 and a half years ago now. At first I missed her so much the pain would take my breath away, it was physical, like being punched in the stomach. I still see things I would love to show her or tell her. She was quite a shy and quiet person until you got to know her but she had the wickedest sense of humour, I have it too so we always laughed ourselves silly at things that horrified or bewildered everyone else, I'm thrilled to see it live on in my nephew.
She loved to read and devoured books. When she grew up Oliver Twist was the only book in the house and she could quote passages of it by heart.
She was one of the kindest and  most generous people I have ever met and would literally give the shirt off her back to help someone. This after having a very tough childhood and a early married life.
She had SO many little sayings, I was always trying to get her to write them down, some were so funny. Sadly I can't remember them all but I am becoming know for saying 'as my Nan would say' before using one of her saying or quotes.
People interested her and she was always finding new things to get into and learn about. She had a thirst for knowledge which came from the fact she was very clever but never had the chance to really learn.She was also stubborn as a mule which was often infuriating. 
I can remember days of sitting round the kitchen table with endless mugs of tea talking and talking and talking. She was hugely important in my life and quite frankly I feel honoured to have know such a wonderful person. 

I lost my brother who was older than me died June 8th,1995 from a diabetic coma in his sleep,He was 24.And He was my only brother.
I also lost my Cousin Steven who was 57 and our family's best friend Bernie who died at the age of 81 of a heart attack/cancer earlier this year. :\'(

My best friend and "sister" died from a rare form of cervical cancer in '04. Her daughter, now 20, just became a mom. I feel so bad that Patti can't see, touch, hold her grandson but she must be looking out for him in some way because the kid has heart problems but is going strong.




I miss Carly still with every fiber of my soul and not a day goes by that I don't think of her or wish she were still here with me. People keep telling me to get another dog but the bond we shared was tighter than I've ever felt out of all the animals I owned. I never owned Carly she was truly a part of me.

Wonderful idea, Cat.  :)

I lost my father just a little over 10 years ago.  :\'( We didn't always agree or see eye to eye, but I still miss him terribly. He was a great person to talk to, an excellent listener, and tolerated my tastes in music and other entertainment.

I also miss my cuddly little angel, Sammy.  :\'( Sammy is an apricot minature poodle that will always be a part of my life, no matter how old I get. I lost him in 2005. He was warm, soft, and so damn loving. I still miss him terribly.

  To Gramps - It's been thirteen years.  Miss you.  I'm okay...

  To Skip - It's been eighteen years.  Wish we could've brought you with us.  You were a good boy.  You were the only dog I ever had.  Sorry for shooting you with my bb gun...

  To Uncle Glen - It's been thirty years.  Miss you.  I wasn't really mad at you for calling me "pig-o"...

 

This is a great thread. I lost my Mom and my best friend in  January. No one on earth could make me laugh like she did. When will it feel better? I had the good fortune to visit her, the Dec before she died, so I have a video snippet I would like to share. Its going to be really hard getting through the holidays this year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STiYxw4_z0s

This is a great thread. I lost my Mom and my best friend in  January. No one on earth could make me laugh like she did. When will it feel better? I had the good fortune to visit her, the Dec before she died, so I have a video snippet I would like to share. Its going to be really hard getting through the holidays this year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STiYxw4_z0s


  Aw, your mom was a sweet lady, I bet...

  And hip, too!  "She looks like Darth Vader"...LMAO..!

I lost my beloved mother Louise to Ovarian cancer Oct.4th 1985. Both sets of grandparents and 4 uncles. They are all missed everyday.

Next Month,It would make it 19 years since My Grandfather passed away on September 24th,1989.

It seems like a lot of board members have been losing loved one lately. I thought it would be nice if we had a place where we can talk about the people (or even pets) who have left us. Call it grief counseling if you will. I will go first.


As most of you know, I lost my beloved grandmother in Feb. who was 99 years young. Even at her advanced age, she was as sharp as a tack. She was highly intelligent but unfortunately, she grew up during a time when women didn't have many opportunities.  She wrote a couple of cookbooks and was famous for her cookies. She is even on Wikipedia thanks to my cousin. 

I lived with her for about a year when I was a teen. There was a lot of things going on with my parents which is why I went to live with her. After that year, I went to live with my mother and step-father and I think that hurt Grandma which I feel so guilty about.

She used to always recite Shakespeare. My dad learned it from her as did I. One time, the 3 of us would be reciting Shakespeare as one of my sisters looked at us as if we were from a different planet or something. But, the 3 of us knew-sort of like speaking our own language. When I look in the mirror, I see my grandmother's eyes. There is a photo of her when she was a teen that if people didn't know, they would think it was me. This is one of my favorite photos of her-it is her college graduation photo.

A couple weeks ago, we were all dividing up her stuff-I know it seems so sad. She downsized years ago and made sure everyone got something so these were the things that meant so much to her to hold on to. I got the majority of her books. There was an old book of the complete works of Shakespeare. I said if no one wanted it, I would take it-the book was falling apart but it had my great-grandfather's signature in front. (People wrote their names in their books in those days). No one wanted it but I had the feeling my dad would (he wasn't in the room at the time). Everyone was saying that Dad wouldn't. When he came into the room, I showed it to him and he did indeed want it. I can't understand why no one else in my family understands how important Shakespeare was to Grandma or to Dad & myself.  When we first got to town, we went to my niece's house (because that was the place I knew how to get to). One of the first things she did was hand me Grandma's copy of Gone With the Wind-the same book that I used for a class project when I lived with her. I almost started crying. I didn't realize that the book was a gift to her and my grandfather from her sister (who was also beloved and we lost about 10-15 years ago).

One of sisters used to tell "Funny Grandma stories" to the people she worked with because she was the one who took Grandma to her appointments, grocery shopping, etc. It was her who Grandma counted on more than anyone. I know my sister is probably grieving more than any of us (except for maybe my dad & aunt).

Good-night sweet Grandma. And may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.  :\'( :\'( :\'(

Anyway, that is my memorial. Who is next?


Cat


That was beautiful Cat...thanks for sharing. :)

  Aw, your mom was a sweet lady, I bet...

  And hip, too!  "She looks like Darth Vader"...LMAO..!


Had I known how little time we had left I would have shot hours of video.

Thanks she was always a "hip chick"... Loved The Moody Blues would take us to concerts when we were small. John Denver, Gilbert O'Sullivan,  The Carpenters, Johnny Cash just to name a few. We "kidnapped her that day and took her to Red Lobster, with the staff telling us we couldn't and her telling them to go to hell, she would do what she wanted. She was a fiesty old "broad", and I loved her dearly.
When she died, she left the decision up to me.. she had no advance directive in place and she was on partial life support. She told me she was tired and she wanted to be with my father and her dog. They removed her life support stopped giving her meds and put her on Ativan and morphine. When I arrived Friday night she was still semi lucid, My youngest brother and my nephew ( he flew in from Bulgaria) were there as well as my own children.
My daughter spent two nights with her in the hospital. My family thought it would be too stressful on my heart. I spent the days by her side
holding her hand stroking her forehead, and cheek, and reassuring her that it was okay to let go her work was done, we were all grown, and it was time to go be with her Mom and Dad, my father and her beloved dog. She died on Sunday in my arms, I felt her pulse stop, scooped her up told her I loved her and not to be afraid. And she stopped breathing. It was peaceful, I was there, and would not have had it any other way. But it was still a crushing experience, the days afterward are a blur.
I have some pics posted on the say cheese board of me and Mom when we were both much younger.

Death has certainly had a busy year so far..............

Hey Cat this is really a good topic... you should put it on the front page. I know it's bad form to put your own topic on the front page but I think this one warrants promotion.

That's why I'm stating it publicly.... so no one can accuse you of self promotion  ;D


Sorry to all who have lost loved ones.


My maternal grandfather passed when I was a toddler (2 or 3)

My paternal grandfather passed when I was in the 5th grade

My maternal grandmother passed St. Pat's day 1997 (she was 94 at the time) her  birthday is coming up on 9/4

My paternal grandmother (aka the bitch) died right around my dad's birthday (Aug 17th) a couple of years ago.

Hey Cat this is really a good topic... you should put it on the front page. I know it's bad form to put your own topic on the front page but I think this one warrants promotion.

That's why I'm stating it publicly.... so no one can accuse you of self promotion  ;D





Aww, thanks. I wish I could karma you for that but I will have to owe you-until tomorrow.

BTW, I could never put any of my threads (or Carlos') on the Front Page-there is only 1 person who can do that. So if you (or anyone for that matter), think that either of us have a thread worthy of the Front Page, talk to "Da Man".



Cat

My Grandfather died October 22 of last year.  He was 95.  I'm told his last few months were the hardest, he wanted to check out but the nursing home wouldn't let him.  (He should have had a DNR order.)  He was the last of my Grandparents, even after all this time I still miss him.  My Mom misses him more than I ever imagined she would.  So to my favorite "grumping" partner I'll just say . . . love you, miss you, wish you were still here.

I know this may sound silly but I had a dear friend in high school who died of bone cancer, not a day goes by I don't think of her.  She was sick for 8 months.  My parents would take me to visit her whenever she wasn't at Pittsburgh Children's Hospital for treatment.  She'd always tell me she was going to beat it and be back in school.  I haven't known anyone with her determination.  I had an opal ring that she liked.  In fact she'd tell me if I ever fell asleep in class it was gone.  She was buried with it.  Even today all of my problems seem so minor considering the hell she went through at 15.  Miss you Jenny.  Hope they have soft pretzel and Klondike Bars up there.

I know this may sound silly but I had a dear friend in high school who died of bone cancer, not a day goes by I don't think of her.  She was sick for 8 months.  My parents would take me to visit her whenever she wasn't at Pittsburgh Children's Hospital for treatment.  She'd always tell me she was going to beat it and be back in school.  I haven't known anyone with her determination.  I had an opal ring that she liked.  In fact she'd tell me if I ever fell asleep in class it was gone.  She was buried with it.  Even today all of my problems seem so minor considering the hell she went through at 15.  Miss you Jenny.  Hope they have soft pretzel and Klondike Bars up there.


doesn't sound silly at all.

it's one thing- hard though it may be to watch a parent or grandparent die. Denial is a strong enemy but it ain't that strong...you expect someone of a certain age to go at some point...

watching someone so young, especially someone your own age, calls to the forefront your own mortality. No one wants to believe they are going to die even though we know its inevitable.

I know what you mean about that strength tho. My friend, mentioned in an earlier post, was very religious (I am not at all) and all the while she was battling her cancer her faith never wavered. She got angry at doctors and health care (she actually found a treatment that reduced her cancer by 70% but it cost $1000 a treatment and her insurance refused to pay for it because it was revolutionary. The fact that it was working meant nothing. She continued the treatment until she ran out of cash... I bought every lotto ticket I could trying to win money to pay for her treatment...alas those whe want the money even for a good cause never seem to be rewarded...


But my friend never lost her faith... and she fought strong till the end.. . she rarely complained and some days I would call her in a bad mood about something trivial that had happened. She was the one I always ran to with my issues no matter the size and one day in the middle of some unimportant complaint I realized that she had been listening intently and I apologized because here I was going on about nothing and she was dying of cancer.... what she said to me stuck with me... just because my problems were smaller than hers didn't make them any less important or relevant.  God I loved her for that.  :\'(

I have been thinking a lot lately about 2 friends who I lost last year-within 3 weeks of each other.


Cat

I remember the last time I saw my brother was the night before he passed away in his sleep,very tired and very thirsty,kept drinking glass after glass of water.I wanted to know if he was alright,didn't say a word to me and the next day,he died in his sleep that morning,just a very devastating day for my Family and Friends. :\'(

Everyones' story is so touching, this was a great idea Cat..Goddess bless you for this. Its an excellent way to share the pain and smiles.That acoompany losing the people we care about.
Karma to you for this from me also.

Everyones' story is so touching, this was a great idea Cat..Goddess bless you for this. Its an excellent way to share the pain and smiles.That acoompany losing the people we care about.
Karma to you for this from me also.


This was a great idea,I'm liking it.

Great idea, Cat.

I lost my dad a year and a half ago and it still hits hard sometimes.  I think I may have posted about it a couple of months ago when I "saw" him at the grocery store.  The guy in front of me looked so much like him I almost gave him a bad time for ignoring me...then it hit again.  That was a rough day.

Great idea, Cat.

I lost my dad a year and a half ago and it still hits hard sometimes.  I think I may have posted about it a couple of months ago when I "saw" him at the grocery store.  The guy in front of me looked so much like him I almost gave him a bad time for ignoring me...then it hit again.  That was a rough day.




*hugs*

I had that happen to me when I was working at Target.  There was an older gentleman who looked EXACTLY like my grandfather.  My jaw hit the floor and it took all my willpower not to run up to him and just throw my arms around him.  I wanted to so badly, but I knew that would have been awkward for the man.  I had to take my break after seeing him and I went and hid in the employee bathroom for fifteen minutes.  Definitely shook me up. :-\\

I'll post mine later.  I've lost a lot of people in my lifetime, but I promise I will keep all my memorials short. :)

As some of you know, my Uncle Rick passed away a few months ago, at age 58.
He died due to cancer in his spine, leg & jaw. Vietnam veteran.

My grandpa Archie passed away Dec. 26, 1994- stomach cancer.
He comes to my thoughts so many times in a day. Avid fisherman & hunter.
He was the one who taught me that flatulence was an OK subject, and that ppl who think it "taboo" should lighten up.
He was in WW2, as a tank driver, paratrooper & Nazi prisoner. He escaped just before they reached the Prison Camp.

My grandma Bonnie died in 1987. She was shot, we believe in a suicide.
Grandpa Archie was the one who found her. Very sad.
She was a nurse in life, who was also in WW2. She always called Grandpa "Ed", and none of us knew why.

As some of you know, my Uncle Rick passed away a few months ago, at age 58.
He died due to cancer in his spine, leg & jaw. Vietnam veteran.

My grandpa Archie passed away Dec. 26, 1994- stomach cancer.
He comes to my thoughts so many times in a day. Avid fisherman & hunter.
He was the one who taught me that flatulence was an OK subject, and that ppl who think it "taboo" should lighten up.
He was in WW2, as a tank driver, paratrooper & Nazi prisoner. He escaped just before they reached the Prison Camp.

My grandma Bonnie died in 1987. She was shot, we believe in a suicide.
Grandpa Archie was the one who found her. Very sad.
She was a nurse in life, who was also in WW2. She always called Grandpa "Ed", and none of us knew why.


your grandpa sounds fascinating....

it's too bad you never found out why grandma called him "ed"




I remember the last time I saw my brother was the night before he passed away in his sleep,very tired and very thirsty,kept drinking glass after glass of water.I wanted to know if he was alright,didn't say a word to me and the next day,he died in his sleep that morning,just a very devastating day for my Family and Friends. :\'(



Howard your brother's story moved me...  I am truly sorry for your loss.

This is a great thread. I lost my Mom and my best friend in  January. No one on earth could make me laugh like she did. When will it feel better? I had the good fortune to visit her, the Dec before she died, so I have a video snippet I would like to share. Its going to be really hard getting through the holidays this year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STiYxw4_z0s
aww,, your mom is so  cute in that video  :)  thanks for sharing




my dear mother Sonja died in 1988, she was only 57 and it was the saddest thing for me in my life. it broke my heart and I cried like a baby.  I go and take flowers to her grave site a couple times a year. she didn't have much but was always willing to share and care for others no matter what.  she was the closest thing to a saint that i know and I was quite the opposite http://bestsmileys.com/transform/15.gif

aww,, your mom is so  cute in that video  :)  thanks for sharing




my dear mother Sonja died in 1988, she was only 57 and it was the saddest thing for me in my life. it broke my heart and I cried like a baby.  I go and take flowers to her grave site a couple times a year. she didn't have much but was always willing to share and care for others no matter what.  she was the closest thing to a saint that i know and I was quite the opposite http://bestsmileys.com/transform/15.gif


My God 57 is so young, I'm so very sorry for you, you must have been a kid yourself.[{{{{Big, big hug}}}}}I consider myself lucky to have had My Mom for as long as I did.. although I think we all kinda think Moms and Dads are immortal.Especially when we are kids.

your grandpa sounds fascinating....

it's too bad you never found out why grandma called him "ed"




Howard your brother's story moved me...  I am truly sorry for your loss.




Thanks Snoz,I appreciate it.  :)

Smokers: please find a better habit and a different way to die.  Lung cancer is an m.f'er.  I have been smoke-free since the day my Dad was diagnosed 8 years ago.  My father could not attend my wedding as he had started chemo that day. He was pretty tough, but lung cancer took him in 3 short, agonizing months.  He was only 51!!! 

I had the good fortune of growing up with 2 Grandmas, 2 Great-Grandmas and a Grandfather.  I loved all of my Grandmothers dearly and carry a little part of each of them with me, but I treasure my Grandfather the most.  My beloved Grandfather died last year at 82.  He was the last of his breed; they do not make gentlemen like that anymore.

Finally, my beautiful friend Gerard who was a NYPD officer was shot and killed in the line of duty in 1997.  He was 27.  I am still devastated.

:(

My condolences to you all!