Contest! What is the best Amiright "Celebrity Hopeless Crush" parody ever?

Herewith my nominees:

"Angelina" - parody of "Mickey" by Stuart McArthur
"Eva Longoria" - parody of "Eve of Destruction" by Spaff.com
"I'd Be Vin Diesel's Wife (among others)" - parody of "You Light Up My Life" by Arwen (so far, the only girl-to-guy song on the list)
"I Still Love Britney" - parody of "I Don't Like Mondays" by Chris Bodily (one of several tributes of his to her)
"Jennifer Aniston" - parody of "Jennifer Juniper" by Rick Duncan
"Scarlett Johansson" - parody of "You Should Be Dancing" by Tony Wiseguy
"A Well Inspected Can...(A J-Lo Tribute)" - parody of "A Well Respected Man" by Dee Range

And, of course...

"Catherine Zeta-Jones" - parody of "Me and Mrs. Jones" by myself (one of several)

Anyone else got a nominee?

Note: Although it is one of the very best (if most disgusting) Amiright parodies ever, "McArthur's Mark," parody of "MacArthur Park" by Tommy Turtle is ineligible, as it is about another Amirighter's celebrity hopeless crush, not his own.  Nor do any of our tributes to Arwen count, since, while our crushes on her are indeed hopeless, outside of this site she is not a celebrity.

I do not have a nomination, but I need to say that I am astounded to see Michael Pacholek posting on the Messageboard.  After years of resisting SOTM, ABC, Best Sports Parody, and all kinds of other parody competitions, you finally want to compete!  And do you select one of your exquisite sports parodies or one of your insightful historical parodies or one of your diabolical political parodies?  No, apparently you conclude that you skill at confessing your hopeless celebrity crush exceeds your other skills?

I am really sorry that I cannot participate in this historic competion, but I see that you have selected some worthy adversaries and I wish you good luck.