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Subject: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/01/06 at 12:41 am

Professor Know-It-All, in his infinite wisdom and tackiness, has decided to create a mail only 'Ask' forum for all you hapless harbingers of hell...

Here's how it works: You spend the Professor a letter 'The Hub' (which is where he lives), and he returns whenever he gets the time. You must include your own address...

Ask anything related to SCIENCE, and the Pro will happily divulge his wisdom;

For example, here's one from Ian

Ian Perry Freeley, 28 Corntown,
Iowa, 88888
USA

Hey Professor, I have a somewhat embarrassing question. Whenever I have a shower in the morning, I always feel like...well, you know, peeing...freely. It's particularly embarrassing because your shower has an aluminimum floor. I never seem to need to go until I feel the water, then spuuurt!!! What causes this and how can I remedy it?

Regards, Ian


A. Well Ian, that's a common dilemma you have. It's called urinating at inappropriate but strangely convenient times and situations. It is caused because when you have a shower, your co...your urethra follows the example of the showerhead and let's it all out. That's right! They can be hard to live with, those urethras...Well, the spinchter opens itself up. The solution: simply tie a ribbon round the offending appendange, so it will not have the opportunity to empty itself all over the shower. Ala.


So, there you have it...send Professor Know-It-All your problems any time of day! Cos God knows who else would solve your problems!

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Donnie Darko on 06/01/06 at 12:56 am

Am I the King of the World?

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/01/06 at 1:15 am


Am I the King of the World?


A. You did not include your return address

B. That is not a scientific question

I'm a man of great patience, but such time wasting shall not be tolerated! Professor Know-It-All has alot of bootleg tapes of 90s nickeloden tapes to watch...

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: bbigd04 on 06/01/06 at 1:16 am

Who's Professor Know It All?

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/01/06 at 1:16 am


Who's Professor Know It All?


No questions of a personal nature.

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: bbigd04 on 06/01/06 at 1:20 am


No questions of a personal nature.


ummm ok

let's see

Brian, 19, Cleveland
Ohio, 99999
USA

Hey Professor, will I be famous someday?

Regards, Brian.

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/01/06 at 1:21 am


ummm ok

let's see

Brian, 19, Cleveland
Ohio, 99999
USA

Hey Professor, will I be famous someday?

Regards, Brian.


Why do you continue to aggravate the Professor? I said questions of a Scientific nature, I did not study at the school of Fortune telling, bah! Come back when you've got a proper question.

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: bbigd04 on 06/01/06 at 1:22 am


Why do you continue to aggravate the Professor? I said questions of a Scientific nature, I did not study at the school of Fortune telling, bah! Come back when you've got a proper question.


;D Sorry Professor I'm stupid. lol

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/01/06 at 1:32 am


;D Sorry Professor I'm stupid. lol


It does not require a Professor of my calibre to ascertain that, my near numb-skulled friend...

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Darkbreed on 06/03/06 at 10:23 pm

Why do people say hes out like a light?
doseint a light turn on just as fast?
cant people say wow hes on like a light?

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: JamieMcBain on 06/04/06 at 12:08 am

Jamie, 29,
Somewhere In Canada,
No fixed postal code

Does Bigfoot exist?

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/04/06 at 12:32 am


Why do people say hes out like a light?
doseint a light turn on just as fast?
cant people say wow hes on like a light?


Eh?  :D

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/04/06 at 12:34 am


Jamie, 29,
Somewhere In Canada,
No fixed postal code

Does Bigfoot exist?


Yes he does. He's working at a diner in Weed, California. Customer's call him 'The Hairy One'. Though he prefers people to believe he doesn't exist.

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: lorac61469 on 06/04/06 at 12:44 am

Dear Professor,

If a person was stranded alone with no food, how long would they survive if they resorted to auto-cannibalism?

Yours Truly,
Iwana Burger
Palm hut #1
Pacific Ocean, Earth

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Donnie Darko on 06/04/06 at 12:54 am


Yes he does. He's working at a diner in Weed, California. Customer's call him 'The Hairy One'. Though he prefers people to believe he doesn't exist.


In southern Oregon, there's a sign that says:

Weed
San Francisco

;D

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/04/06 at 12:56 am

http://www2.warwick.ac.uk/services/its/elab/services/webtools/blogs/madprof.jpg

Subject: Re: Ask Professor Know-It-All

Written By: Trimac20 on 06/04/06 at 12:57 am


Dear Professor,

If a person was stranded alone with no food, how long would they survive if they resorted to auto-cannibalism?

Yours Truly,
Iwana Burger
Palm hut #1
Pacific Ocean, Earth


The very idea...why most people wouldn't even concieve of something so ghastly.

Tell me, Iwana burger (if that really is your name) how YOU would go about it?

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