you name it, it happened to me...I experienced it...I'll tell you all about it.

You wanted to commit suicide.

When you were born?

You wanted to commit suicide.


on simple terms it's something that crosses my mind almost every single day, not so much "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD" but more along the terms of realization that I have nothing left in this world really and that I'm waisting my time and everyone elses by being here.  However I always come to the terms that if God didnt' want me here, he'd kill me himself, so he has me here for a reason. A reason he hasn't revealed in 8 years but for a reason that he may reveil one day.  Then I might find out some 70 years later when I die, or tomorrow when I die, that I did indeed have no reason and it woulda been fine to go at anytime of my choosing.  Never the less I'd rather be here and do my best and be good to people and try and help them out for another 70 years not really enjoying life all that much, then to be more on the selfish side and end my pain.

You were probably talking more along the lines of seriously going to kill myself though. Like gun to the head got the rope ready for hanging type contemplating. 

I've had two instances in my life where I seriously thought I was going to do it.  I don't want to discuss the reasons why because if I do I'll think about them the rest of the day and be down and severly depressed for about a week to a month.  It's something I'll never be rid of.  The constant thoughts I have everyday will never become strangers, but yet I have learned to channel them.  They've gone from bitter enimies to respectable aquaintances.  The two times I've let them get to me was in 1995 when I graduated high school and in 1998 when I graduated junior college.  The first time I was going to jump off a tall bridge out in the country and the second time I was going to jump off the same bridge.  I went out there on the bridge, sat on it for probably6 hours the first time and  3 hours the second time talking to God asking him for an answer of what I should do.  I asked him for things to get better, which they did in a sorta way and not in another way. 

I tell you it sucks when you wonder to yourself everyday of your life if you're ever going to have a moment of pure happiness, pure enjoyment, pure satasfaction, a feeling so good about what happened that words can't do it justice, yet you know for sure you willl have more events in your life that are so tragic, so heart wrenching, soul breaking that it's mental and emotional pain are so severe that know one around you could possibly know how much it hurts.  That does suck, believe me.

on simple terms it's something that crosses my mind almost every single day, not so much "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD" but more along the terms of realization that I have nothing left in this world really and that I'm waisting my time and everyone elses by being here.  However I always come to the terms that if God didnt' want me here, he'd kill me himself, so he has me here for a reason. A reason he hasn't revealed in 8 years but for a reason that he may reveil one day.  Then I might find out some 70 years later when I die, or tomorrow when I die, that I did indeed have no reason and it woulda been fine to go at anytime of my choosing.  Never the less I'd rather be here and do my best and be good to people and try and help them out for another 70 years not really enjoying life all that much, then to be more on the selfish side and end my pain.

You were probably talking more along the lines of seriously going to kill myself though. Like gun to the head got the rope ready for hanging type contemplating.   

I've had two instances in my life where I seriously thought I was going to do it.  I don't want to discuss the reasons why because if I do I'll think about them the rest of the day and be down and severly depressed for about a week to a month.  It's something I'll never be rid of.  The constant thoughts I have everyday will never become strangers, but yet I have learned to channel them.  They've gone from bitter enimies to respectable aquaintances.   The two times I've let them get to me was in 1995 when I graduated high school and in 1998 when I graduated junior college.  The first time I was going to jump off a tall bridge out in the country and the second time I was going to jump off the same bridge.  I went out there on the bridge, sat on it for probably6 hours the first time and  3 hours the second time talking to God asking him for an answer of what I should do.  I asked him for things to get better, which they did in a sorta way and not in another way. 

I tell you it sucks when you wonder to yourself everyday of your life if you're ever going to have a moment of pure happiness, pure enjoyment, pure satasfaction, a feeling so good about what happened that words can't do it justice, yet you know for sure you willl have more events in your life that are so tragic, so heart wrenching, soul breaking that it's mental and emotional pain are so severe that know one around you could possibly know how much it hurts.  That does suck, believe me.



Hmm, the first paragraph sounds familiar to me (Not my feelings, but somebody else's). The thing to remember is that whether you have a reason to live or not, your living can't be hurting anybody else, unless you are like... a murderer or something.

When you were born?


I was born on Halloween of 1977. I think it's the reason I enjoy horror movies so much. I'm not for sure why God picked out that day for me but he did.  I've always been a character, so why not have me born on a day of characters.  My mom went to the hospital to have me while dressed as one of the blues brothers.  My dad as the other one.  

Hmm, the first paragraph sounds familiar to me (Not my feelings, but somebody else's). The thing to remember is that whether you have a reason to live or not, your living can't be hurting anybody else, unless you are like... a murderer or something.


No I'm not a murderer.

No I'm not a murderer.


Well then, you've got nothing to worry about... Go live life and have fun! :O

I want to hear about the time you got drunk and flashed Tiger Woods on the green of the 17th hole at St. Andrews in Scotland..

I want to hear about the time you got drunk and flashed Tiger Woods on the green of the 17th hole at St. Andrews in Scotland..


Didn't happen, but if it did it'd make one hell of a story.