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Messageboard Archive Index, In The 00s - The Pop Culture Information Society

Welcome to the archived messages from In The 00s. This archive stretches back to 1998 in some instances, and contains a nearly complete record of all the messages posted to inthe00s.com. You will also find an archive of the messages from inthe70s.com, inthe80s.com, inthe90s.com and amiright.com before they were combined to form the inthe00s.com messageboard.

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Subject: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 06/19/03 at 03:32 a.m.

I'm going to try this again. The one I started yesterday somehow......got gone?? :-/

I knew a young lass from Raceda........

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 04:02 a.m.

Who married a dirty old bleeder

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 06/19/03 at 04:17 a.m.

He drank and he cursed

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/19/03 at 04:32 a.m.

But what was much worse..

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/19/03 at 06:14 a.m.

Was his insistence on being called Freda!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 06:25 a.m.

By day he would drive a large tanker

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 06/19/03 at 06:27 a.m.

It was owned by a rich merchant banker

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 07:33 a.m.

And he was the meanest

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 06/19/03 at 07:44 a.m.

But alas, not the cleanest

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 08:10 a.m.

In fact, t'was his odour that sank her

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 06/19/03 at 09:40 a.m.

Now, Freda had a sister named Fred.......

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 10:25 a.m.

Who wanted to wed Ted, she said

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/19/03 at 09:12 p.m.

So she rented a suit,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/20/03 at 06:01 a.m.

And spit polished his boots

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 06/20/03 at 07:10 a.m.


Quoting:
And spit polished his boots
End Quote



So he figured she gave good.... massages....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/20/03 at 07:29 a.m.

There once was a bus called Vernon

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Trueblue on 06/20/03 at 08:04 a.m.

who for a VW he was yearnin'

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 06/20/03 at 08:05 a.m.

They made loud metal love....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Trueblue on 06/20/03 at 08:09 a.m.

like the touch of a dove

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 06/20/03 at 08:10 a.m.

While their engines were madly churnin'

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/21/03 at 02:38 a.m.

What a gut wrenching thing is love!  :(

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 06/21/03 at 04:19 a.m.

No way it comes from "above"! :-/

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/21/03 at 07:18 a.m.

It is filled with despair....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/21/03 at 10:12 a.m.

And sadness, its clear..

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/21/03 at 03:10 p.m.

When the push, it does come to shove  :o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 06/21/03 at 08:46 p.m.

A swami from old Timbuktu

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Indy Gent on 06/21/03 at 10:38 p.m.

Could play those rhythm and blues

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/22/03 at 01:50 a.m.

So he cut a CD,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Trueblue on 06/22/03 at 05:37 a.m.

and also starred on TV

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/23/03 at 07:16 a.m.

With a sultry soul-singing chantoose

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/24/03 at 04:48 a.m.

Once a little engine thought he could.... :)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/24/03 at 06:41 a.m.

work harder if he drank lots of Bud

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/24/03 at 07:05 a.m.

So he filled up his firebox

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 06/24/03 at 07:11 a.m.

And began singing Ultravox...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/24/03 at 07:32 a.m.

Till our ears started leaking blood !  :'(

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/25/03 at 03:36 a.m.

The trouble with full bloody ears

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/25/03 at 03:39 a.m.

Is it is bound to end in tears

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/25/03 at 06:31 a.m.

Get out some Q-tips

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/25/03 at 09:29 a.m.

Start cracking your whips

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/26/03 at 02:18 a.m.

And if that fails, have a few beers.

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 06/26/03 at 02:51 a.m.

"A few beers" can make anyone a singer.......

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/26/03 at 04:45 a.m.

They make think you're a humdinger

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/26/03 at 05:21 a.m.

You sing in tune

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/26/03 at 06:18 a.m.

You're best at full moon

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/26/03 at 06:21 a.m.

But really you're a minger

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 06:35 a.m.

There's nothing to watch on TV,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/27/03 at 06:38 a.m.

except the soaps and BB

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 06:43 a.m.

I'm pulling the plug!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/27/03 at 07:02 a.m.

Then I'll put on the jug....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/27/03 at 07:05 a.m.

and make a nice cup of tea

(assuming you mean jug kettle)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 07:10 a.m.

Women are much better cooks,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/27/03 at 09:16 a.m.

Than elephants, doggies or ducks

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 09:19 a.m.

And men I might add,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/27/03 at 10:21 a.m.

C'mon they're not that bad

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/27/03 at 10:24 a.m.

'Cause, you don't go with us for our looks ;-)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/29/03 at 02:21 a.m.

Whilst eating spagetti in Rome,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/29/03 at 02:26 a.m.

Wondered where this got to ! :D


I spyed my good friend Jerome..

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 06/29/03 at 02:33 a.m.

I invited him over,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 06/29/03 at 04:27 a.m.

And we shared some pavlova

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/30/03 at 07:11 a.m.

Until his hands started to roam ;-)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/30/03 at 07:43 a.m.

The guy in the next office to me

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 06/30/03 at 07:44 a.m.

Sneaked some whisky into his cup of tea

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/30/03 at 07:53 a.m.

I added some gin

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 06/30/03 at 08:16 a.m.

And some vodka went in

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/30/03 at 09:30 a.m.

And sho now he'sh as pished ash can be

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/30/03 at 10:07 a.m.

And now the boss has been in  :o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Indy Gent on 06/30/03 at 02:05 p.m.

He told the slacker, "Let's begin!"

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:05 a.m.

But the poor guy can't stand

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 03:08 a.m.

On his bum he did land

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:22 a.m.

Now he begs on the street with a tin

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 03:43 a.m.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:49 a.m.

I was cruising the streets for a fight

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 03:51 a.m.

I spotted this guy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:51 a.m.

With a patch on one eye

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/01/03 at 04:14 a.m.

And a smell reminiscent of shite


(modified to correct my spelling :-()

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/01/03 at 05:32 a.m.

I would like to retire one day....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/01/03 at 05:41 a.m.

And spend every night and all day

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 05:47 a.m.

Just watching TV

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 06:03 a.m.

And eating Curly-Wurly

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/01/03 at 06:44 a.m.

On the couch with my feet up I'd stay!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/01/03 at 07:15 a.m.

I drove a nail right through my hand  :o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 07:22 a.m.

From DIY I should be banned

Seriously I hope you're allright

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/01/03 at 07:23 a.m.

It made me look 'tough'

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/01/03 at 07:34 a.m.

and made feel gruff

(Thank you Karen, it was a hypothetical nail only!)  :)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/01/03 at 07:43 a.m.

And to think it was not even planned!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/01/03 at 08:05 a.m.

I drilled through my thumb with a drill


Well, actually it was my finger... but that didn't scan as well: the perils of being offered a beer while doing DIY

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/01/03 at 08:09 a.m.

With some putty the hole I did fill,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 08:35 a.m.

And when it dried

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/01/03 at 04:52 p.m.

I filed each side,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/02/03 at 03:21 a.m.

So now I am writing my will ;-)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/02/03 at 03:26 a.m.

There once was a man from Japan

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/02/03 at 05:00 a.m.

Who drank condensed milk from the can

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/02/03 at 05:18 a.m.

When it sprayed up his nose

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/02/03 at 05:21 a.m.

He sneezed over his clothes

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/02/03 at 06:49 a.m.

And *that*'s when the s**t hit the fan

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/02/03 at 07:59 p.m.

In an amazing twist of fate,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/03/03 at 03:39 a.m.

In came his cleaner, Kate,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/03/03 at 03:43 a.m.

She wiped the fan down

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/03/03 at 05:43 a.m.

With a chiffon ballgown

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/03/03 at 05:49 a.m.

Which made her dance partner irate

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/03/03 at 06:08 a.m.

For cleaning a sh*t-hit fan

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/03/03 at 06:25 a.m.

It's best to use gloves if you can,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/03/03 at 06:32 a.m.

with lots of hot water

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/03/03 at 07:05 a.m.


Quoting:
with lots of hot water
End Quote



Just like you oughter

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/03/03 at 11:16 a.m.

and soap - so it's soon spick and span

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/03/03 at 10:10 p.m.

For the weekend I have a great plan!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/04/03 at 05:57 a.m.

Does it involve Oil Of Ulan (Olay !) ?

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/04/03 at 06:08 a.m.

More like barbeque sauce,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 06:43 a.m.

I nodded and said "of course" !

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/04/03 at 07:17 a.m.

Cos I'm just making lunch for my clan.

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 07:30 a.m.

Olay would taste bad on the grill....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 07:32 a.m.

Of cream you've had your fill  ??? :o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 07:42 a.m.

It's thick and it's yummy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 07:50 a.m.

It sinks in the tummy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/04/03 at 07:54 a.m.

The thought of it makes me ill  :-X

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/04/03 at 08:28 a.m.

After phoning the Austrian tourist board.......

Whilst kangaroo hunting in Sydney

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/04/03 at 08:33 a.m.

One hopped right into my chimney :-/

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/04/03 at 08:35 a.m.

It blocked up the pipe

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/04/03 at 09:13 a.m.

It was just the wrong type

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/04/03 at 09:15 a.m.

So i gave him a punch in his kidney

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 05:37 p.m.

An eager young boa constrictor

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 05:39 p.m.

Chuckled 'cos he had tricked her

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 05:44 p.m.

She fainted in coils

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 05:58 p.m.

her hair was in foils  ???

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 06:00 p.m.

But to her surprise, he only licked 'er!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/05/03 at 05:56 a.m.

While relaxing in front of the telly.....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/05/03 at 06:35 a.m.

and grossly scratching my belly  :-/

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/05/03 at 08:13 a.m.

A spider jumped out.....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 10:22 p.m.

it made me shout

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 10:27 p.m.

And all of my bones turned to jelly

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 10:31 p.m.

One day I hijacked a tank.....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 10:48 p.m.

And ran thru the front door of a bank

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 11:13 p.m.

I demanded all the money  :)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 11:27 p.m.

They looked at me funny

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 11:29 p.m.

I knew my plan was one big *ank

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/05/03 at 11:39 p.m.

When all was going to plan

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 11:43 p.m.

It got screwed up by a man

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 00:37 a.m.

He had been told by his wife... :o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/06/03 at 00:53 a.m.

To go get a life....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/06/03 at 00:55 a.m.

And he ended up living in his van.... :'(

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 00:58 a.m.

This man then was set on revenge...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/06/03 at 01:01 a.m.

So he set out to topple Stonehenge

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 01:06 a.m.

So he gave a big push

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Meriadoc on 07/06/03 at 01:07 a.m.

And it crushed him to mush

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 01:10 a.m.

And he was heard to have a big whinge

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Stompgal on 07/06/03 at 04:49 a.m.

A young man went to Britain

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/06/03 at 08:45 a.m.

Despite his fear of being bitten,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: DaChazman on 07/06/03 at 03:17 p.m.

He got bit by a bug...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/06/03 at 08:03 p.m.

Some type of rare slug

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 02:34 a.m.

And that was rather fittin'

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 03:54 a.m.

I'm just having a nice cup of tea

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 04:48 a.m.

Would you care to pour one for me...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Rock_Princess on 07/07/03 at 04:54 a.m.

With one spoon of sugar

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 04:57 a.m.

A drop of milk if you'd bother

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 05:50 a.m.

Must go now, it's gone half past three

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 05:57 a.m.

Just as a complete aside to this I've just been moaned at at work for laughing to loudly as I read this thread.

Right now for the next limerick

One man went to mow a meadow

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 06:05 a.m.

Along with his blue heeler Freddo

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/07/03 at 06:23 a.m.

They took a packed lunch

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/07/03 at 06:30 a.m.

And leftover brunch

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 06:37 a.m.

Then over the hills they did head-o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 06:58 a.m.

We are trying to buy a new car

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/07/03 at 07:16 a.m.

but the money doesn't take us far...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 08:04 a.m.

What you get for 10 cents

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/07/03 at 08:18 a.m.

Is a criminal offense,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 10:08 a.m.

It won't even buy you a Skoda

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 10:56 a.m.

I'm happy with my little Fiat

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Stompgal on 07/07/03 at 11:19 a.m.

Whose headlamps look strange and weird

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 11:40 a.m.

It goes really quick

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Indy Gent on 07/07/03 at 06:13 p.m.

Now let's get back to our limericks board. ;)

There once was a man in a Yugo.

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/08/03 at 03:32 a.m.

Who read a book by Victor Hugo

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/08/03 at 05:12 a.m.

His name was Les Mis

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/08/03 at 05:47 a.m.

He had a coupla kids...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Indy Gent on 07/08/03 at 01:26 p.m.

But he had to let a fugo (few go). ;D

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/08/03 at 10:21 p.m.

There was an apple that was green....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/08/03 at 10:23 p.m.

It tasted just like gasoline

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/08/03 at 10:27 p.m.

I spat it out

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Zella on 07/08/03 at 10:35 p.m.

Just like a lout

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/08/03 at 10:42 p.m.

And to the greengrocer, vented my spleen  >:(

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 03:39 a.m.

The greengrocer gave me bananas

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/09/03 at 03:46 a.m.

To feed to my family of llamas

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/09/03 at 05:18 a.m.

Some were bent

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/09/03 at 05:41 a.m.

So off the deep end I went

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 06:33 a.m.

And fed bananas to llamas in pyjamas ;-)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/09/03 at 06:38 a.m.

If I wanted Potato and Gravy......

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 06:42 a.m.

I'd sign up to the ol' Royal Navy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/09/03 at 06:46 a.m.

I'd sleep in the galley

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/09/03 at 06:58 a.m.

'longside Kirsty Alley

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 07:54 a.m.

The Cap'n and cabinboy Davy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/09/03 at 07:57 a.m.

Once a lone Merchant Seaman....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 08:10 a.m.

Summoned a red, scaly demon

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/09/03 at 08:34 a.m.

that was a mistake

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 08:35 a.m.

For it made the ground shake

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/09/03 at 10:16 a.m.

then turned into David Seamon

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Stompgal on 07/09/03 at 11:39 a.m.

There was an old woman from France

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 12:16 a.m.

Who honestly thought she could dance

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/10/03 at 06:09 a.m.

She did The Hustle....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/10/03 at 06:15 a.m.

then pulled her calf muscle

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/10/03 at 06:40 a.m.

And fell over, tearing her pants

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/10/03 at 06:52 a.m.

She searched for a needle and thread....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/10/03 at 07:07 a.m.

But made do with a stapler instead,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/10/03 at 07:11 a.m.

But then she drew blood...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/10/03 at 07:25 a.m.

'Cause the stapling stud,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/10/03 at 08:28 a.m.

went into her nail bed

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/10/03 at 09:51 a.m.

She looked for a small sticky plaster

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Taoist on 07/10/03 at 09:53 a.m.

And she prayed for the wound to heal faster

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/10/03 at 09:59 a.m.

But it bled more and more

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/10/03 at 10:29 a.m.

and made a puddle on the floor

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/11/03 at 01:51 a.m.

It was quite a medical disaster.

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/11/03 at 04:25 a.m.

And the doctor took ages and ages

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Stompgal on 07/11/03 at 04:43 a.m.

He went through some numerous stages

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Indy Gent on 07/11/03 at 06:23 p.m.

The patient had enough

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/11/03 at 09:49 p.m.

And went off in a huff

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/12/03 at 07:10 a.m.

and had to get treated for rages

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/12/03 at 08:16 a.m.

At anger management classes

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Grendle on 07/12/03 at 10:58 p.m.

Everyone needed new glasses

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/12/03 at 11:25 p.m.

They had a sub teacher

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Grendle on 07/12/03 at 11:29 p.m.

Whose very best feature

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/12/03 at 11:51 p.m.

was giving out sick passes

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/13/03 at 05:33 a.m.

When we all came down with a virus...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/13/03 at 06:26 a.m.

The boss decided to fire us,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/14/03 at 06:08 a.m.

We called in the union

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/14/03 at 06:42 a.m.

Which sort of badly rhymes with onion... :'(

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/14/03 at 07:04 a.m.

And we wondered about all the Fuss ! ;D

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/14/03 at 08:25 a.m.

So we called for industrial action

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/14/03 at 08:40 a.m.

He would pay for this terrible infraction,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/14/03 at 09:54 a.m.

after one day on strike

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/14/03 at 08:45 p.m.

The boss (who's called Mike),

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/15/03 at 03:41 a.m.

U-turned and sent out a retraction

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/15/03 at 07:00 a.m.

But the workers were not happy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/15/03 at 07:31 a.m.

As the dress code included a nappy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/15/03 at 07:34 a.m.

They rang home to Mummy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/15/03 at 08:45 a.m.

To ask for a dummy

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/15/03 at 09:09 a.m.

To spit at the trade union chappy.

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 06:36 a.m.

But the union guy had run off....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/16/03 at 06:39 a.m.

With a poet called Roger McGough

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 06:42 a.m.

They kissed out the back....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/16/03 at 07:12 a.m.

But when they hit the sack

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 07:14 a.m.

McGough, well he hopped off  ::)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/16/03 at 07:39 a.m.

So the union guy turned to drink

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 07:46 a.m.

And told McGough "You Stink"  >:(

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/16/03 at 10:07 a.m.

So answered the poet:

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/17/03 at 06:09 a.m.

"Well wouldn't ya know it....."

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Indy Gent on 07/17/03 at 05:24 p.m.

My words cannot rhyme

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/18/03 at 04:44 a.m.

Quoting:
My words cannot rhyme
End Quote


..so I think


=======NEW LIMERICK======

While reading the Exchange and Mart

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/18/03 at 05:08 a.m.

I saw an ad for a yellow go-cart

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/18/03 at 05:48 a.m.

So I made them an offer,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/18/03 at 06:26 a.m.

Reached into the coffer....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/18/03 at 07:44 a.m.

but only found an old paint chart

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:15 a.m.

I've been gone for a while..........

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/19/03 at 04:16 a.m.

Which accounts for my lack of a smile,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:18 a.m.

But now you can grin......

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/19/03 at 04:22 a.m.

'cause Dude's back in

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:23 a.m.

I'm so glad y'all like my style! ;D

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/19/03 at 04:25 a.m.

In walked a stylish Dude.....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:27 a.m.

WHo was in a quite jovial mood!

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/19/03 at 04:27 a.m.

He started to sing,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:31 a.m.

Though his voice, it did sting....... :-/

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/19/03 at 07:11 a.m.

Though the song he sung was quite crude  :o

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 05:18 p.m.

New one...


The crude dude shooed away his bad mood....

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Grendle on 07/19/03 at 05:25 p.m.

By stuffing himself with much food

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 05:36 p.m.

He stuffed himself to bursting

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Grendle on 07/19/03 at 05:38 p.m.

And then he was thirsting

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 06:10 p.m.

So then the dude, he did start to brood...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: Grendle on 07/19/03 at 11:09 p.m.

As he sat in his room in the nude

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 11:26 p.m.

Checking out a website so lewd

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 04:05 a.m.

That he saw this one chick

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/21/03 at 04:30 a.m.

Made him log out real quick,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 04:49 a.m.

That she really got him in the mood

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/21/03 at 06:00 a.m.

When one is really in the mood...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 06:03 a.m.

All kinds of things feel really good

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: mandamoo on 07/21/03 at 06:10 a.m.

I s'pose it kinda ryhmes.....with an English accent Philbo  ;)


With a real little bit of this

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/21/03 at 06:29 a.m.


Quoting:
I s'pose it kinda ryhmes.....with an English accent Philbo  ;)

End Quote



Not my accent!

I'm going to give this rhyme a miss

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/21/03 at 07:18 a.m.

Think it's time for some food  :P

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 09:28 a.m.

Quoting:
I s'pose it kinda ryhmes.....with an English accent Philbo  ;)
End Quote


It's what I call a "hymn" rhyme... i.e. it doesn't, but that didn't stop dozens of hymn writers using the "Food/Mood/Good/Wood(Would)" rhyme scheme

...OK a new one:

I hoped that she into bed would tuck me

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/21/03 at 05:15 p.m.

After a bath with my rubber duck-ee,




(As once again holydooley tries to drag it up from the gutter. ;D)

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/22/03 at 03:26 a.m.

with some smooth clean sheets

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/22/03 at 03:48 a.m.

Some ropes, cuffs and cleats

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/22/03 at 03:53 a.m.

The usage of which she'll instruct me

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/22/03 at 03:39 p.m.

This thread is in need of some prayers,  ;D

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/23/03 at 03:51 a.m.

will it get much ruder, who dares?

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/23/03 at 04:04 a.m.

Well I'm blaming Phil, :P

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/23/03 at 04:11 a.m.

Yes I think I will

blame Phil that is

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/23/03 at 04:46 a.m.

Unlike us, an angelic pair...s!  ;D

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/23/03 at 05:29 a.m.

Come, come now - I'm not the worst

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/23/03 at 05:30 a.m.

I suppose at least you haven't cursed

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/23/03 at 05:32 a.m.

Or sworn, or been lewd...

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: HolyDooley on 07/23/03 at 05:53 a.m.

Or shown yourself nude,

Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/23/03 at 06:41 a.m.

And would that be a first  ??? :o :P