My beautiful baby was born on the 7th of September, and I am trying so hard to bring her and my wife up to Utah, where I am living. looking for a job. They are down in Colorado Springs, and her in-laws don't like me very much, but my wife wants me to come down and get her on November 7th, instead of what her father said, and that is March, and I want to come down and get her in March. What is anyone's opinion on this subject, because I know I got her pregnant before we got married, and I haven't been able to hold down a job, but I was there for the birth of our baby, and I coached her right through it. My name is rich.

I made a mistake on the post, I don't want to go down in March, I want to down in November, I don't want to wait. I love my family so much, and I don't want to be away from them for very much longer.

Hi Randbfan23,

Congrats on being a Dad!  :D  I know what it's like being away from your kid... it suck$ big time!  I have a 13 month old son back home (I go away during the week to attend school) that I think about all the time... and try not to think about what I am missing by being away.  :(

I'm lucky as I get along very well with my in-laws.  I do listen to any advice they give and have sought it in the past.  But my stance is this is my family and I try my utmost to make the best decisions for their health and welfare, and well being.  For yours, they're going to have to realize that.  Over time you'll be able to prove that to them, even though you don't really have to prove anything for them.  Your main priority in life is now your son/daughter and wife.  All else becomes secondary, including any self-serving interests.  At least that is the way I see it.

One thing I have learned about being a family man is that priorities changed and that there is a fair amount of self sacrifice that one must do without recognition.  For instance, i'm into the radio hobby and I used to buy radio gear a couple of times a year as the need arose.  I haven't bought anything in 2 years and now find myself looking at used equipment instead of brand new ones!  Heh, go figure, eh.  I even have a collectors sports car in storage as I can't afford it right now (what with insurance rates and gas prices the way they are).  I am going to do a complete refit on it so the earliest I can see myself driving it again isn't for another 2 to 3 years.  But, i'm pretty patient (you have to be with kids  :) ).  I'm also into backcountry backpacking and i'm fortunate that I managed to equip myself with all the quality gear I needed (took a few years) before I got married.  I expect it to last me 15 or 20 years before replacements will be necessary.  I got the wife into backpacking so that helped matters too!  ;)  And I suspect my son is going to like it as well, as it's in the family.  :)  Good luck on the job search, I hope it pans out for you.

Hey, it's really weird at first to grasp the fact that your a "father" now and that you have a "family", eh?   :)  One piece of advice I want to give you: take lots of pictures!!  Over the past 13 months i've taken several hours of video footage and hundreds of photos.  At the time we thought we were going overboard and taking too many, but now when we look back at them, the wife and I are thankful that we took them afterall.  I take lots of candid and spur of the moment shots with either digital video, digital camera, and regular film.  Even if you can't afford to develop the film, you can store exposed film in your fridge for about 6 to 8 months without worrying about damage.

Good luck!

PS. Just a heads up; at 13 months your kid will probably be eating you out of house and home!  :D

You don't sound very responsible, how will you provide for a wife and baby?

Quoting:
My beautiful baby was born on the 7th of September, and I am trying so hard to bring her and my wife up to Utah, where I am living. looking for a job. They are down in Colorado Springs, and her in-laws don't like me very much, but my wife wants me to come down and get her on November 7th, instead of what her father said, and that is March, and I want to come down and get her in March. What is anyone's opinion on this subject, because I know I got her pregnant before we got married, and I haven't been able to hold down a job, but I was there for the birth of our baby, and I coached her right through it. My name is rich.
End Quote

First of all, congrats on the birth of your baby.

Second, before you bring her and the baby up, you need to find a job.  I realize it's hard for you to be away from them, but they are actually in a better place now.  They have food, shelter, and clothing.  Without a job, you will not be able to provide this for them.  

So,  my advice is to wait a bit longer until you have established a home, a job, and some security.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to the baby.