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Subject: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Child_of_the_80s on 10/15/03 at 09:49 p.m.

We just had a company wide meeting about it and man was it one of the most sexist things I have experienced.The video we watched had us men looking like letchers(of course some of us are)The statistics were men did over 80% of the harassing.Women are not always the victims!At my job I have had women come on to me but I play it off....as long as the person is FEMALE I brrush it off.I have had my butt pinched by a married and PREGNANT coworker.I have had women touch my chest cause they know I work out.I had one co-worker play footsie under the table with me during a meeting all of which were ALREADY MARRIED.I had another ask me out to drinks.Believe me women know they can get away with this.Another thing some ladies really show off their body like cleavage and if I get caught looking than I get in trouble.Then there are the belly shirts and low hugging jeans.I remember on time my coworker who is a part time model had her panties showing because of the low jeans we were trying not to stare but it was right there begging us to look.My boss is a tease too she is a really cute version of Heather Locklear.She likes to "bend over" and tease us poor innocent men.I remeber one time she was wearing a mini skirt and she climbed my ladder which was unnecessary but I didnt mind the view.Now from what she was showing for me to look I bet if I asked her out I would get fired.Do you have workplace sexual harassment experiences?

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: resinchaser on 10/15/03 at 10:14 p.m.


Quoting:
We just had a company wide meeting about it and man was it one of the most sexist things I have experienced.The video we watched had us men looking like letchers(of course some of us are)The statistics were men did over 80% of the harassing.Women are not always the victims!At my job I have had women come on to me but I play it off....as long as the person is FEMALE I brrush it off.I have had my butt pinched by a married and PREGNANT coworker.I have had women touch my chest cause they know I work out.I had one co-worker play footsie under the table with me during a meeting all of which were ALREADY MARRIED.I had another ask me out to drinks.Believe me women know they can get away with this.Another thing some ladies really show off their body like cleavage and if I get caught looking than I get in trouble.Then there are the belly shirts and low hugging jeans.I remember on time my coworker who is a part time model had her panties showing because of the low jeans we were trying not to stare but it was right there begging us to look.My boss is a tease too she is a really cute version of Heather Locklear.She likes to "bend over" and tease us poor innocent men.I remeber one time she was wearing a mini skirt and she climbed my ladder which was unnecessary but I didnt mind the view.Now from what she was showing for me to look I bet if I asked her out I would get fired.Do you have workplace sexual harassment experiences?
End Quote



You said in your post that you don't mind if women sexually harass you at work. Some people, men and women alike might not be as tolerant as you when it comes to other people touching them. At any time you have the right to complain to your boss about it, but you choose not to.

And just because a woman wears low rise jeans or a short skirt to work doesn't mean she is asking to be leered at, or "begging" you to ask her out ::)

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Bobby on 10/16/03 at 02:39 a.m.

Quoting:
And just because a woman wears low rise jeans or a short skirt to work doesn't mean she is asking to be leered at, or "begging" you to ask her out ::)
End Quote



IMO, resinchaser, they may not be 'begging' for it as such but they can't complain when men look at them. As long as it doesn't go behind looking, I think blokes are fine. I look all the time and I'm going out with someone - I view it as a sign of acknowledgement  ;)

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Bobby on 10/16/03 at 02:42 a.m.

Quoting:
Do you have workplace sexual harassment experiences?
End Quote



I don't have any sexual harassment experiences as such, Child of the 80s but I'm getting sick of my workmates. They insult each other and then say it was a joke afterwards. I think that is wrong because they are making out that the people who are offended by them have the problem.  >:(

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Child_of_the_80s on 10/16/03 at 04:17 a.m.

Why show it off then?Most of these women are married so why tempt other men with the cleavage,legs, etc. save it for your husband.They want us looking if its exposed.If I went around with my fly open they would be looking too.Its a place of business not a pick up joint.Theres one lady there who is the best looking in the company great body etc.But she is always covered.She never wears skirts (I wish she would) or anything really revealing.I know shes married with children and I get the vibe that she intentionally dresses like this because she respects her man enough not to have other men looking at her.

Quoting:


You said in your post that you don't mind if women sexually harass you at work. Some people, men and women alike might not be as tolerant as you when it comes to other people touching them. At any time you have the right to complain to your boss about it, but you choose not to.

And just because a woman wears low rise jeans or a short skirt to work doesn't mean she is asking to be leered at, or "begging" you to ask her out ::)
End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: bj26 on 10/16/03 at 06:20 a.m.

Where do you work, are they hiring?

Quoting:
At my job I have had women come on to me but I play it off....I have had my butt pinched by a married and PREGNANT coworker.I have had women touch my chest cause they know I work out.I had one co-worker play footsie under the table with me during a meeting all of which were ALREADY MARRIED.I had another ask me out to drinks.Believe me women know they can get away with this.Another thing some ladies really show off their body like cleavage and if I get caught looking than I get in trouble.Then there are the belly shirts and low hugging jeans.I remember on time my coworker who is a part time model had her panties showing ....End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: ladybug316 on 10/16/03 at 09:03 a.m.


Quoting:
We just had a company wide meeting about it and man was it one of the most sexist things I have experienced.The video we watched had us men looking like letchers(of course some of us are)The statistics were men did over 80% of the harassing.Women are not always the victims!At my job I have had women come on to me but I play it off....as long as the person is FEMALE I brrush it off.I have had my butt pinched by a married and PREGNANT coworker.I have had women touch my chest cause they know I work out.I had one co-worker play footsie under the table with me during a meeting all of which were ALREADY MARRIED.I had another ask me out to drinks.Believe me women know they can get away with this.Another thing some ladies really show off their body like cleavage and if I get caught looking than I get in trouble.Then there are the belly shirts and low hugging jeans.I remember on time my coworker who is a part time model had her panties showing because of the low jeans we were trying not to stare but it was right there begging us to look.My boss is a tease too she is a really cute version of Heather Locklear.She likes to "bend over" and tease us poor innocent men.I remeber one time she was wearing a mini skirt and she climbed my ladder which was unnecessary but I didnt mind the view.Now from what she was showing for me to look I bet if I asked her out I would get fired.Do you have workplace sexual harassment experiences?
End Quote

May I just say as a female that most of the dressing up women do is for themselves.  (Even if we have significant others; a point that is totally irrelevant).  Most women take pride in themselves and appreciate a man who does as well.  (You said you worked out).  Besides the blatant footsie games and pinching of your rear, why do you assume they dress, climb and bend to torture you?  Why would you take that from anyone?  If it were a man to do that to you would you have spoken up?  I'm not trying to get on your case, I'd just like the other point of view.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Pluto on 10/16/03 at 11:15 a.m.


Quoting:
Where do you work, are they hiring?


End Quote



You took the words right out of my mouth bj. LOL
But seriously, I see married women and men flirt all the time at my work.  Some women have gotten touchy feely with me but other than that nothing too crazy.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: bj26 on 10/16/03 at 12:27 a.m.

The ladies in my office seem to look quite nice, they dress great and are well groomed head to toe (I like nice pedicures).  The men are more shlumpy looking, hope I'm not as I try to dress and look smart.  Once I came around the corner in the office and crashed into a female cohort and we had a momentary embrace, but other than a very infrequent attaboy pat on the back (also risky) I maintain a "no touch" policy; however, all female attention toward me is very welcome!

Quoting:


You took the words right out of my mouth bj. LOL
But seriously, I see married women and men flirt all the time at my work.  Some women have gotten touchy feely with me but other than that nothing too crazy.
End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Secret_Squirrell on 10/16/03 at 01:05 p.m.

Perhaps men's rights will catch up to the 21st century someday.  I won't be holding my breath.  :P

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: big_hair_girl on 10/16/03 at 09:30 p.m.

I worked at a computer college which was almost all men.  Therefore almost 99% of my daily appointments were men my age and younger.  There were quite a few students and instructors who thought they could say and do anything to me about what they wanted from me.  They would have enough balls to come behind my desk and attempt to give me a backrub.  Flattering yes, asked for no.  What gives????

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Def_Trick on 10/17/03 at 10:20 a.m.

I think women should be a little more conscious of how they dress.  I know we like to look attractive, but I think sometimes we in general don't know how our clothes will affect men just because of the way they're wired.  While I hate it when some men seem to think that unless we're wearing a nun costume, if they can't look at us without thinking about sex, it's our fault, I think women in general should be more careful.  I think cleavage, really short skirts, exposed panties, and the like look unprofessional and don't belong in the workplace.  If you want to show them somewhere else, that's your perogative.  But I think we should at least look professional when we come to work, especially if we expect to be respected as a professional.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Sagnastian on 10/17/03 at 11:17 a.m.

it all depends on the people.  i worked at mcdonalds, i worked as the closing crew.  we all talked dirty to each other but then again it was all talk and play.  we all knew that so we never took it as sexual harrassment.  i don't think men mind women touching them but most women get offended.  at work i grabbed an older ladies ass when i walked by her, she's married.  she just turned at looked at me didn't do a thing.  and then again the same day she grabbed me nipple and tried to twist it.  she also blew a kiss to me.  all thats sexual harrassment.  it all depends on what people an take and cannot take.  i suggest to get to know those people before tasking or doing anything  to that nature.  

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: bj26 on 10/17/03 at 01:39 p.m.

80s child, just re-read your post and it's hilarious, the pregnant lady who pinched you, the women grabbing your butt, all these women throwing themselves at you, and the boss who "climbs my ladder" and shows her tush! What does that mean, "climbs my ladder", is that like a sexual act? or what kind of job do you do where they climb ladders in short skirts?  It's funny material, but if you are on the level and really having these problems, maybe it's because you are coming on to the ladies and don't realize it, and they are just responding. To really help you, need more facts.  Anyway, there are probably a lot of men (me for one) who dream about such attention from females. However, it could be a problem, because if you interpret what you think is a come on and make an advance, you could be the one accused of harrassment.

Quoting:
We just had a company wide meeting about it and man was it one of the most sexist things I have experienced.The video we watched had us men looking like letchers(of course some of us are)The statistics were men did over 80% of the harassing.Women are not always the victims!At my job I have had women come on to me but I play it off....as long as the person is FEMALE I brrush it off.I have had my butt pinched by a married and PREGNANT coworker.I have had women touch my chest cause they know I work out.I had one co-worker play footsie under the table with me during a meeting all of which were ALREADY MARRIED.I had another ask me out to drinks.Believe me women know they can get away with this.Another thing some ladies really show off their body like cleavage and if I get caught looking than I get in trouble.Then there are the belly shirts and low hugging jeans.I remember on time my coworker who is a part time model had her panties showing because of the low jeans we were trying not to stare but it was right there begging us to look.My boss is a tease too she is a really cute version of Heather Locklear.She likes to "bend over" and tease us poor innocent men.I remeber one time she was wearing a mini skirt and she climbed my ladder which was unnecessary but I didnt mind the view.Now from what she was showing for me to look I bet if I asked her out I would get fired.Do you have workplace sexual harassment experiences?
End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: big_hair_girl on 10/17/03 at 01:52 p.m.

def trick I agree women should be aware of what they are wearing, mini skirts, low cut shirts, etc...however, some of us are not exposing our body parts and still get treated in a sexual manner at work.  Pants (not tight or low cut) professional in look shouldn't bring about sexual comments or sexual touching from the opposite sex.  Some of your comments don't apply to everyone's situation.  For some reason if you are nice to men and give them attention they must misinterpret that to mean say and do anything to me?? Still don't understand what is in the other persons head that indicates green light go ahead.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Child_of_the_80s on 10/18/03 at 06:28 a.m.

You can dress up "professionally" without showing body parts off.I dont care how they dress I dont want to get in trouble for looking.I was discussing it with my female coworker she says "men do it too by wearing tight fitting shirts to show your pecs"(referring to me)I cant help that I wear a Large shirt and thats how they fit on me.LOL(THATS FOR RICE CUBE).There is a lady who has big boobs at work and she wears these tight shirts and tight jeans and she has the curves.But at least she is covered up and "I would try not to look"There was another lady who wore fishnet stockings!I thought that was inappropiate.There is a time and place for everything.But the same thing goes on at church too but thats another topic LOL!

Quoting:

May I just say as a female that most of the dressing up women do is for themselves.  (Even if we have significant others; a point that is totally irrelevant).  Most women take pride in themselves and appreciate a man who does as well.  (You said you worked out).  Besides the blatant footsie games and pinching of your rear, why do you assume they dress, climb and bend to torture you?  Why would you take that from anyone?  If it were a man to do that to you would you have spoken up?  I'm not trying to get on your case, I'd just like the other point of view.
End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: big_hair_girl on 10/18/03 at 09:04 a.m.

Alot of people want to complain sexual harassment...but alot of people can't deny that they do appreciate someone looking at them to signify that they do look nice.  I am not complaining of the treatment given to me....I am just confused as to what tells a person go ahead and make the sexual comments and the ok to touch me.  Oh yeah, child of the 80's - you never said where you work that has mini skirted women climbing ladders.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Tv on 10/18/03 at 09:30 a.m.

To me its okay if I a man is "checking out" a woman in the workplace. Its ok if a man looks but doesn't touch. Same goes for the woman. I think "pinching butts" and "touching each other" is a little extreme. If a woman my age piched my butt in the workplace I wouldn't probably think anything of it though. You just go on and go about your business. However if I pinched a woman's butt in the workplace I would feel real bad about it.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Race_Bannon on 10/18/03 at 04:55 p.m.

The Equal Opportunity Employment Commision defines Sexual Harassment-

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when:

Submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual's employment,

Submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment decisions affecting such individual, or

Such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment."

Examples of sexual harassment include:

Inappropriate, sexually suggestive notes, letters, posters, or other written communication

Inappropriate, sexually suggestive comments about a person's clothing, body, or other aspects of personal appearance

Sexually suggestive, insulting sounds, such as whistles

Jokes about men or women that denigrates their gender as a whole

Sexually suggestive or obscene gestures

Unwelcome sexual advances, propositions, pressure for sexual activity, requests for sexual favors in exchange for a better grade, or a promotion

Inappropriate, unwelcome touching (patting, pinching), or brushing against the body

Inappropriate, physical exposure

Unwelcome attempted or actual kissing or fondling

Sexual assault, which is physical contact of a sexual nature against a persons will without her or his consent

Coerced sexual intercourse, where the coercion is implied or threatened as well as physical action taken against a person in retaliation for reporting sexual harassment

Action taken against a person in retaliation for reporting sexual harassment

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Race_Bannon on 10/18/03 at 05:03 p.m.

Comments of the above description-

You may see any of these things on a regular basis, you might be the recipient or demonstrating potentially sexual harassing behaviors to others.  The important thing to note that is not mentioned in the defination is that the circumstances in which they occur are just as valid and the steps the person who feels harassed takes to alleviate the problem.  

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Child_of_the_80s on 10/19/03 at 08:52 a.m.

Just for your information Im the records manager at a  laboratory.You need a ladder to get to the files.Sometimes if Im not available people will try to get the records themselves even a woman wearing a mini skirt!Then I'll walk in seeingthem  on the ladder.I would rather them not do this because it is dangerous especially when they are wearing heels anoother reason is that "you could be giving the other workers a free peep show."The one incident with my boss I was telling her I needed her to order more boxes and the ones I wanted were on the top shelf.So she just climbed the ladder in heels and a mini skirt and "I got a peep show".She didnt have to climb the ladder I could have done that but she "wanted to tease".

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: philbo_baggins on 10/20/03 at 03:59 a.m.

Quoting:
The Equal Opportunity Employment Commision defines Sexual Harassment-

...

End Quote


Reading those, one comes to the conclusion: "so, it's OK to look"

Quoting:
Jokes about men or women that denigrates their gender as a whole
End Quote


I wonder how many prosecutions there have been by men for the many anti-male jokes... not that I'd dream of suing, it's just that a lot of "equal opportunity" legislation seems to be a one-way street.

Phil

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: big_hair_girl on 10/20/03 at 07:40 a.m.

...I can only speak for myself but I think the term sexual harassment is overused.  The people that I have heard talk about "I have been sexually harassed" have not asserted the word NO.  Most people (speaking for my own opinion here) like the positive attention from the other sex.  Most of us do dress for ourselves but also to look good to others.  If I showed up in a burlap gunny sack and someone said 'looking good you sexy thing' I would definitely take it as a joke.  If I showed up in a mini skirt, tight form fitting shirt and spiked heals and someone said that I think I deserved that comment based on my choice of clothing.  If someone is flirting with you and you say not interested and they continue and then begin to go further, touching, etc. then I would consider that harassment.  But, if I am enjoying the attention that is another thing.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: bj26 on 10/20/03 at 08:01 a.m.

What kind of laboratory is it where men and women where sexy stuff, showing off "boobs, pecks, fishnets, panites," etc.?  You could be looking at people in white lab coats and fantacizing.  Say you aren't, ok, look at the law and definition of SH, above, suggest you contact an attorney for advice. Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy the ride, but don't touch.  

Quoting:
Just for your information Im the records manager at a  laboratory.You need a ladder to get to the files.Sometimes if Im not available people will try to get the records themselves even a woman wearing a mini skirt!Then I'll walk in seeingthem  on the ladder.I would rather them not do this because it is dangerous especially when they are wearing heels anoother reason is that "you could be giving the other workers a free peep show."The one incident with my boss I was telling her I needed her to order more boxes and the ones I wanted were on the top shelf.So she just climbed the ladder in heels and a mini skirt and "I got a peep show".She didnt have to climb the ladder I could have done that but she "wanted to tease".
End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: philbo_baggins on 10/20/03 at 08:37 a.m.

Quoting:
What kind of laboratory is it where men and women where sexy stuff, showing off "boobs, pecks, fishnets, panites," etc.?
End Quote


Presumably one where they don't use hazardous chemicals - maybe a behavioural science lab... where the mice are doing subtle experiments on their human subjects ;)

...must say, if the labs I did research in had been like that, I'd probably still be doing research...

Phil

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Race_Bannon on 10/20/03 at 09:19 a.m.


Quoting:

Reading those, one comes to the conclusion: "so, it's OK to look"

Phil
End Quote

If looking gets to the point where it could be deemed hostile, offensive, or threatening, then it's not okay.  

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Child_of_the_80s on 10/20/03 at 06:16 p.m.

Just to add something the lawyer who did this presentation said you could still sexual harass someone even if you are not on company property! >:( Like you all go out for happy hour or something after work and you say something offensive they can still file a complaint.I remember during a happy hour I told my boss to shut the f*** up (where else could I do it but at "happy hour") and it made me happy!THATS RIDICULOUS!In my opinion once you are not on company property or time than you cant file a complaint...unless its with the police.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: big_hair_girl on 10/20/03 at 08:12 p.m.

If you are on a business trip I could see being able to claim sexual harassment...but what happens if you are at a bar and someone you work with shows up - I don't see how that person could claim work sexual harassment.  If you approach a stranger in a bar and give some kind of sexual feedback to them or grope them they are very unlikely to file a harassment claim against you.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Race_Bannon on 10/20/03 at 10:19 p.m.


Quoting:
If you are on a business trip I could see being able to claim sexual harassment...but what happens if you are at a bar and someone you work with shows up - I don't see how that person could claim work sexual harassment.  If you approach a stranger in a bar and give some kind of sexual feedback to them or grope them they are very unlikely to file a harassment claim against you.
End Quote

In this case as an employer (assuming I was made aware) I would be sure to address the threat (or whatever) that she may feel as well as encourage her to file a police report if that was appropriate.  I would think that a company could be liable for sexualy harrasment even if it was off the job but that person was working with the offender and accomodations could be made to alleviate the threat.

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: Child_of_the_80s on 10/21/03 at 07:52 p.m.

The lawyer explained that if it was a coincidence that two workers ran into each other and harassment went on then you would have to call the police.But if the person was stalking that person by showing up everywhere they were at then it can be a work harassment complaint.

Quoting:
If you are on a business trip I could see being able to claim sexual harassment...but what happens if you are at a bar and someone you work with shows up - I don't see how that person could claim work sexual harassment.  If you approach a stranger in a bar and give some kind of sexual feedback to them or grope them they are very unlikely to file a harassment claim against you.
End Quote

Subject: Re: Sexual Harassment In the Workplace

Written By: big_hair_girl on 10/21/03 at 09:49 p.m.

...good point about the stalking thing.  If someone does not take no for an answer and then begins stalking you they need to have the police called on them.   When I think of the term sexual harassment I only think of it as someone talking and touching in a sexual nature.  I never even thought about stalking as part of it.  I guess I live in my naive world where that only happens on t.v..  Very scary.