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Subject: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them...

Written By: Hairspray on 11/05/03 at 05:03 p.m.

Post Halloween freaky topic #1

May seem morbid, but it's definitely a topic not yet discussed.

Ok.

Most of us are familiar with typical cemeteries with headstones, monuments, tombs, etc. Many people find them interesting, historic, sad and scary. Many of these feelings have something to do with the headstones, which may initially look new and even impressive, but after time and weatherization become discolored, worn, misshapen and dull. Many times these tend to incline due shifts in the dirt and make the atmosphere downright creepy.

More and more, since about 1997, there are these new types of cemeteries without the traditional stuff, just memorial tablets or plaques that are flush with the ground. They are referred to as memorial parks. Memorial parks are more organized looking and the absence of "stones" takes away those customary signs of earthly death, thus making the atmosphere more serene; not creepy. They are easier to mow because there are no headstones to dodge, giving them a cleaner look. I'm guessing the memorial tablets or plaques are much cheaper than headstones too. Nowadays, people have to have special insurances and savings accounts just to pay for their own funeral because of how prohibitively expensive the industry has become.

So, my question is -

Which of the two types of cemeteries do you prefer and why?

I should have done this topic on Halloween!! :P ;D

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/05/03 at 05:36 p.m.


Quoting:Which of the two types of cemeteries do you prefer and why?
End Quote



wow, talk talk about random topics. :D

But anyway, we just buried my uncle a year ago in one of the "park" style cemeteries.  Its basically a huge lawn with the plaques placed flush with the ground, surrounded by flowers.  Whats nice about it, is when you drive by it or see it froma distance, it actually looks like a enormous flower garden.  Its actually very beautiful to see.  I guess if I were to choose which one I had to be buried in right now, I wouldn't mind being put in a "park" style simply because of the difference in cost, and in the future if my plaque were to be damaged for some reason, it can be easily replaced, unlike the traditional head-stones that can take several weeks/months, not to mention the outragous cost of those things.


There was an old cemetary (pre-1800's) in my old hometown, and 99% of the gravestones were either missing half of it, broken, sunk into the ground, weathered to the point were the text was not readable, etc etc.  Now I know they are stronger and more durable these days, but still, who knows what it will look like in another 100 years.


Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Howard on 11/05/03 at 05:44 p.m.

I'd prefer headstones.That way people can talk to me and put roses,flowers and rocks on my grave and cry/laugh as well. :(


Howard

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/05/03 at 05:49 p.m.


Quoting:
I'd prefer headstones.That way people can talk to me and put roses,flowers and rocks on my grave and cry/laugh as well. :(
End Quote




actually you can do all that with the "park" style semetaries too because all the graves have a plaque on the ground instead of the large headstone.  

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: LyricBoy on 11/05/03 at 05:53 p.m.

Those flat-stoned "memorial parks" suck.  I say, give me a real cemetary!

My family is buried in Homewood Cemetary in Pittsburgh PA.  It is now located in a very dangerous part of town, but all of the "old wealth" from Pittsburgh's steel days are planted there.  The H.J. Heinz family has a three-leveled crypt that looks awesome (Senator John Heinz III took the last empty spot when he died in the plane crash).

It has pyramid headstones, obelisk headstones, and dozens of private mausoleums with stained-glass windows.  LOADS of trees.  Last time I was there I saw several deer grazing.

There is a "Chinese Section" and  a "Jewish Section", both of which are kinda cool.  When I was a kid we used to always play there and run around while Mom and Dad tended the various graves.  (These days we'd get mugged though.  The surrounding area is now infested with drug addled dirt bags.  :'( :( ).

Whenever I get buried there, I'm going to have a MUCH better view than I would have gotten in some corporate "memorial park".   ;D  :P  :D

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Howard on 11/05/03 at 05:53 p.m.

I have necrophobia! :(


Howard

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: LyricBoy on 11/05/03 at 05:56 p.m.

Me and my brother have often thought that if we ever got rich, we would build a mausoleum to be buried in so we could go out in style.  Features of the mausoleum would be:

-Heated entryway so that visitors would not be cold during the winter visits.  Powered by solar panels and some sort of rechargeable batteries.

-TV set in the entryway so that relatives could come down and watch the Super Bowl.

-CD or DVD connected to a touch screen so that visitors for generations to come could learn about us (again solar powered).

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: LyricBoy on 11/05/03 at 05:58 p.m.


Quoting:
I have necrophobia! :(


Howard
End Quote



That's better than having necrophilia!   ;D

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Howard on 11/05/03 at 06:00 p.m.


Quoting:


That's better than having necrophilia!   ;D
End Quote



That's nothing to laugh about! >:(


Howard

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/05/03 at 06:02 p.m.


Quoting:
Those flat-stoned "memorial parks" suck.  End Quote



...to each his own.




Quoting:Whenever I get buried there, I'm going to have a MUCH better view than I would have gotten in some corporate "memorial park".   ;D  :P  :D
End Quote



"corporate"?  

The one we burined my uncle in was not "corporate".


Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: LyricBoy on 11/05/03 at 06:09 p.m.


Quoting:


...to each his own.





"corporate"?  

The one we burined my uncle in was not "corporate".



End Quote



Yeah, I guess "corporate" is not the right word.  Relatives on my Mom's side are buried in a Catholic "memorial park" that only has those flat markers.  It is really barren, and the "sameness" of all of the stones is depressing.  I actually have a burial plot that I inherited THERE too (but will not use).

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Fred on 11/05/03 at 06:09 p.m.

Well, I prefer the original Headstones. Much more classic style of being buried.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/05/03 at 06:10 p.m.

Something I thought would be interesting to add to this topic regarding cemeteries:


My grandmother always used to talk about how in the "old days", the cemeteries were laid out in a east-west fashion, and the grave sites were laid out so the feet of the body would point east, and the head would point west.  That way when Christ returned, and the bodies rose up, they would be facing east (apparently Christ will appear in the east like the sun) to face Christ.


That always kinda freaked me out thinking about it.  And a lot of older cemeteries around here are laid out that way.


Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: CatwomanofV on 11/05/03 at 06:13 p.m.

My mother is a geneologist. She gets info off of headstones.  So I have been dragged into cemetaries since I can remember. (Not to mention that it was the only make-out place in town when I was a teen  ;)) I thought since I no longer live with her, I wouldn't have to do that again. Boy, was I wrong. A couple of years ago, she came to visit me and we went (where else?) to visit a local cemetary to get info.

After spending a lot of time in cemetaries, I have to say that I prefer the stones. Some of them are really a work of art. I have seen some that had people's pictures on them, one had a race car etched onto it. It was just incredible. I have to say that one of the most interesting cemetary I had been to was not to do geneology work but just as a tourist and that is in Salem, Mass. It had the really old stones-including the ones who were hanged during the Salem Witch Trials. It was really fascinating and quite moving actually. Ok, maybe I do have a touch of the macabre even though I don't want to admit it.  ;)



Cat

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/05/03 at 06:27 p.m.


Quoting:Ok, maybe I do have a touch of the macabre even though I don't want to admit it.  ;)End Quote



Thats fine, I enjoy going to old cemetaries too.  There's a strange mysterious feeling you get there, at least I do anyway.

The old one I mentioned above is on a very low-lying area of land and theres a river running just over the edge of the hill.  And the water table on that area is very high, so the ground is constantly very wet and saturated with water (not quite the ideal place for a cemetary).  But I remember going there as a kid, and seeing the edges of the concrete cases sticking out of the ground and out of the wall of the hill.  It was really frightening as a kid seeing these things coming out of the ground knowing theres a skeleton inside.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Dagwood on 11/05/03 at 07:05 p.m.

I like the old fashioned ones.  I think it is interesting to look at the old headstones.  

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: berkley98 on 11/05/03 at 07:52 p.m.

I love old cemetaries!!  They can be soooo spooky!!

http://community.webshots.com/photo/67563007/67563309hgqJVl

here's a picture of one that was right beside our hotel in London last year.

berk

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: jesuisunpizza on 11/05/03 at 08:39 p.m.


Quoting:
I love old cemetaries!!  They can be soooo spooky!!

http://community.webshots.com/photo/67563007/67563309hgqJVl

here's a picture of one that was right beside our hotel in London last year.

berk


End Quote



I like those types of old cemeteries.  They are so interesting to look at.  The more modern flat memorials look even more weird.  Why try to hide the fact that it's a cemetery?

If there was a nearby graveyard near my house, I would find graves that seem to have been forgotten and visit them, talk to them etc.  I know this sounds weird, but I don't want them to be forgotten.

This year, I found an old letter that belonged to my great-great-great grandfather's friend who faught in WW1.  It was the last letter the friend ever wrote before dying.  Just the fact that my g-g-g grandfather has the letter told me the young soldier didn't have much family.  I even found a picture of what he looked liked.  I searched his name and found out when he died and where he was buried.  I scanned the picture and letter and sent it to the war memorial webpage.  Thomas Osbourne is now like a family memeber to me.  I plan to go visit him in France one day.

Here's the page with him on it if interested...
http://www.vac-acc.gc.ca/general/sub.cfm?source=collections/virtualmem/Detail&casualty=1572688

Anyways, I just like the older tombstones.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Hairspray on 11/05/03 at 10:19 p.m.

I like older cemeteries for historic and curiosity reasons, but I'd definitely like to be laid to rest in a memorial park. The idea of a sun-glistened flower garden sounds very nice. :)

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/05/03 at 10:26 p.m.


Quoting:
I like older cemeteries for historic and curiosity reasons, but I'd definitely like to be laid to rest in a memorial park. The idea of a sun-glistened flower garden sounds very nice. :)
End Quote




Yes!

And its much nicer to look at than a bunch of old moldy faded lopsided stones too. :)

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Hairspray on 11/05/03 at 10:59 p.m.


Quoting:


Yes!

And its much nicer to look at than a bunch of old moldy faded lopsided stones too. :)
End Quote



I agree! I want my visitors to be relaxed and comfortable, enjoying their surroundings and being happy that I'm in a nice place; not uneasy about depressing-looking surroundings or creeped out.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Bobby on 11/06/03 at 03:09 a.m.

Quoting:
That's nothing to laugh about! >:(
End Quote



Don't worry about it, Howard. It's just a comment. I must admit, I had to look twice at your post.  :)

Me personally, I prefer not to go near graveyards at all alive or dead. That leaves me with the problem as to where to put myself later on.  :D

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: BrianMannixGirl on 11/06/03 at 03:40 a.m.

As a genealogist I love going thru old cemetarys - especially in England as obviously the graves there are so much older than here or in the US.  I loved that I could sit and touch a stone hand carved with someones name who died in 1400.  And the stories that are sometimes carved as well - and the humour that seemed to be so prevelant back then.

But as far as me personally goes.  Well as an athiest I have always found most cemetarys (and funerals for that matter) a bit too religious for my taste.

I believe in cremation and my mum has already told me where she wants to be scattered and that she doesnt want a marker anywhere.  I have no idea where I want to be scattered but it doesnt phase me one way or another whether there is a permenant marker somewhere recording my passing.

Our Pinnaroo Park here is quite gorgeous.  Its for cremations only and does wonderful services for all religions and non believers.  Its filled with lakes and native flora and there are kangaroos grazing all over the place.  There are little plaques flush with the ground with urns or little boxes burried beneath them.  They also have a big memorial wall where ashes can be placed behind a plaque.

I think the move towards these plaque parks is really just for space reasons isnt it ?  I know thats why they built Pinnaroo Park.  There was simply no room left at our main cemetary and because it was so old - it wasnt catering to the growing cremation requests.  It had a tiny area for plaques that filled up after a very short time.  I think Pinnaroo was a practical solution that has now become a popular choice for many people.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: ladybug316 on 11/06/03 at 07:09 a.m.


Quoting:
As a genealogist I love going thru old cemetarys - especially in England as obviously the graves there are so much older than here or in the US.  I loved that I could sit and touch a stone hand carved with someones name who died in 1400.  And the stories that are sometimes carved as well - and the humour that seemed to be so prevelant back then.

But as far as me personally goes.  Well as an athiest I have always found most cemetarys (and funerals for that matter) a bit too religious for my taste.  

I believe in cremation and my mum has already told me where she wants to be scattered and that she doesnt want a marker anywhere.  I have no idea where I want to be scattered but it doesnt phase me one way or another whether there is a permenant marker somewhere recording my passing.

Our Pinnaroo Park here is quite gorgeous.  Its for cremations only and does wonderful services for all religions and non believers.  Its filled with lakes and native flora and there are kangaroos grazing all over the place.  There are little plaques flush with the ground with urns or little boxes burried beneath them.  They also have a big memorial wall where ashes can be placed behind a plaque.

I think the move towards these plaque parks is really just for space reasons isnt it ?  I know thats why they built Pinnaroo Park.  There was simply no room left at our main cemetary and because it was so old - it wasnt catering to the growing cremation requests.  It had a tiny area for plaques that filled up after a very short time.  I think Pinnaroo was a practical solution that has now become a popular choice for many people.
End Quote

I was hoping someone would write in about cremation.  Personally, I don't want anyone to come crying over my dead, rotting body.  What a misery!  I'd rather someone remember me alive and happy.

Also, you mentioned being an atheist which reminded me of a tombstone someone supposedly lies beneath
"Here lies an atheist.  All dressed up and nowhere to go."  ;D  

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: karen (Guest) on 11/06/03 at 07:25 a.m.

Here in the U.K., at least as far as I know, there aren't any of these memorial parks yet.  I agree that it sounds like a space saving concern.

The local cemetry is just down the road from our house.  There is also a crematorium there.  I think the older gravestones are much more interesting to look at than the vases and plaques in the crem.  We have a relatively large Italian community here and their gravestones are always beautiful.  There is nearly always a photograph and there is always a large floral display.

I am quite tempted to ask to be buried in a natural burial ground which is nearby.  Here you can plant a tree on the site where the person or ashes are buried.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: 80sRocked on 11/06/03 at 12:31 a.m.

Quoting:I think the move towards these plaque parks is really just for space reasons isnt it ?  End Quote



Actually, the memorial park in my old town has been there for over 50 years, so I don't think that one was built for space reasons.  


I have seen many traditional cemeteries that are very nice looking.  But, its natural that after many years, they naturally begin to gradually get in worse and worse shape.

Memorial parks, on the other hand, are just a matter of groundskeeping since theres not a lot of weahtered and lopsided tombstones to manage.  The 50 year old memorial park I mentioned looks just as beautiful today as it did 50 years ago.  The only difference is, there are more flowers there than there was 50 years ago. :)


Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: NullandVoid on 11/06/03 at 01:13 p.m.

I HATE cemeteries period, I wouldn't be caught dead inside one! >:(

(I plan to be cremated)

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: RockandRollFan on 11/06/03 at 01:17 p.m.

My parents purchased a "Condo" back in '95 and named me executor of thier wills to make things smoother for me....they are still here :D but sadly my son is not....his grave is next to thier condo so he's very easy for me to find...I prefer the old cemetaries to the newer and IMO, less personal ones.  Evergreen Cemetary is also very old...oldest grave death thier is 1858.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Indy Gent on 11/06/03 at 03:50 p.m.

My mother's body is now resting in a drawer of a crypt in the Mausoleum. There are several tombstones in the hills of Rome GA, where my father was originally from. My grandparents and uncle are both buried there.

Hopefully, I don't need to figure out what resting place I prefer. I guess I'll be six feet under or in a drawer anyway so my opinion won't matter when I'm gone. My sister still wants to be cremated, but she hasn't made a living will yet.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Mike_Florio on 11/06/03 at 05:20 p.m.

Well, ttytt(to tell you the truth), the ground will grow over memorial parks, Ive seen it in the cemetary where my grandpa is burried.  Now, as to which Id prefer, I cant say, I guess whichever one, maybe the bigger ones because theyre scarier...

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Mike_Florio on 11/06/03 at 05:25 p.m.

Quoting:


I like those types of old cemeteries.  They are so interesting to look at.  The more modern flat memorials look even more weird.  Why try to hide the fact that it's a cemetery?

If there was a nearby graveyard near my house, I would find graves that seem to have been forgotten and visit them, talk to them etc.  I know this sounds weird, but I don't want them to be forgotten.

This year, I found an old letter that belonged to my great-great-great grandfather's friend who faught in WW1.  It was the last letter the friend ever wrote before dying.  Just the fact that my g-g-g grandfather has the letter told me the young soldier didn't have much family.  I even found a picture of what he looked liked.  I searched his name and found out when he died and where he was buried.  I scanned the picture and letter and sent it to the war memorial webpage.  Thomas Osbourne is now like a family memeber to me.  I plan to go visit him in France one day.

Here's the page with him on it if interested...
http://www.vac-acc.gc.ca/general/sub.cfm?source=collections/virtualmem/Detail&casualty=1572688

Anyways, I just like the older tombstones.
End Quote



really nice link...its actually even scarier, Mr Osborne died one day after my grandpa, but 80 years earlier...heh.

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Howard on 11/06/03 at 07:20 p.m.


Quoting:


Don't worry about it, Howard. It's just a comment. I must admit, I had to look twice at your post.  :)

Me personally, I prefer not to go near graveyards at all alive or dead. That leaves me with the problem as to where to put myself later on.  :D

Going near a grave reminds me of my brother who died in 1995 from diabetes.My Mother occasionally visits his grave. :'(
End Quote




hOWARD

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: BrianMannixGirl on 11/07/03 at 08:49 a.m.


Quoting:

"Here lies an atheist.  All dressed up and nowhere to go."  ;D  

End Quote



hahahahahahahha  now that one I love !!!!!!!!!  ;D

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: ladybug316 on 11/07/03 at 09:30 a.m.


Quoting:


hahahahahahahha  now that one I love !!!!!!!!!  ;D
End Quote



Yes.  I suppose if my family actually put me in the ground I'd like a bit of humor.  I'd love to steal that line for myself.  I mean, it's not like the other guy would know.   :D

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Howard on 11/07/03 at 04:09 p.m.

Going near a grave reminds me of my brother who passed away in 95.My Mother occassionally visits him. :( :'(


Howard

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: RockandRollFan on 11/08/03 at 05:08 p.m.


Quoting:
Going near a grave reminds me of my brother who passed away in 95.My Mother occassionally visits him. :( :'(


Howard
End Quote

I'm sorry to hear about your brothers death, Howard :'(

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: Howard on 11/08/03 at 07:05 p.m.


Quoting:

I'm sorry to hear about your brothers death, Howard :'(
End Quote



That's ok.Thanks for asking R&R. ;)


Howard

Subject: Re: Cemeteries, Graveyards, Whatever You Call Them

Written By: RockandRollFan on 11/09/03 at 04:19 p.m.


Quoting:


That's ok.Thanks for asking R&R. ;)


Howard
End Quote

No Problem :)