I know this isn't a perfect place to post this, but I got a problem and I've grown to really like a lot of you. You all have such great opinions and from the looks of it all of you are good people, no we don't  all agree on certain issues but this internet site is full of good people from what I've seen so far.

Anyway here's my weird problem.

I liked this girl since March. I liked her a lot. I decided that I wasn't going to tell her because I was almost positive that she wasn't going to like me back.  I couldn't get her out of my head though. So I finally asked a friend to help me out and he did. He was a great friend and with his help and the help of a weird dream I finally grew some balls and called her up. I asked her if she would go to a movie with me. To my wildest astonishment she said she'd like to and she'd call me back to let me know if she could once she found out if she had to work or not that weekend. I was like THANK YOU GOD, A hot girl that I like an unbelieveably huge amount actually wants to be seen in public with me! I hugged my friend and everytime the phone rang I got so excited.That was Sunday night.  By Thursday I figured that she wasn't going to call me back. So I called her and she said that she hadn't found out her work schedule for the weekend and would find out the next day and give me a call the next day to let me know. I was so relieved it wasn't even funny.  I was home almost all of Friday I was on the internet for about about an hour in the morning around 9, got on again at night for about 40 minutes, and went to a friends house for about 45 mintues. Other than that I was home waiting by the phone like a complete fool for the rest of the day. It never rang. I figured that she didn't call me back because she didn't want to go with me, but why in the hell didn't she tell me that the 1st time let alone the second time.  I waited until today to call her back and try and see whats up. As soon as I said hello she hung up on me.  I called her back and left a stuttering message full of ums... and ahs.... and sounded completely clueless in which I am.  I don't know what's going on here I don't get any of this about a million things are going through my mind.

Did she try and call when I wasn't around Friday night and feel like I stood her up. God I hope not.

Did she just not have the guts to tell me that she thought I was a looser in the very beggining?

Did someone tell her something that wasn't true about me? That made her all of a sudden turn against me?

She saw my mom when I first asked her out and smiled at my mom and waved real big. Then my mom saw some friends of her's and they gave my mom a dirty look.

Something ain't right here and it's bugging me to death I hope that it's just that she thinks I'm a complete moron and always did, but like I said theirs to much to the plot to assume that right of the bat. 

Man this bothers me, it bothers me like you wouldn't believe.

Well friend,
Since she hung up on you without sayinganything, I would take that as an "I don't want to talk to you, go out with you or want you calling me..all rolled into one.

She seems to be in a position to pick whoever she'd like and you apparently aren't on her list.

The world is full of people who WOULD love to know you, so you'll have to make it a game and try to find them, or let them find you.

Ask yourself..'who else is there that I would like to be with and have fun with?'

Stop spinning out of control with allthe 'what if?' questions...if someone cannot be open to tell you the truth, THEY ARE NOT THE ONE YOU WANT TO BE WITH ANYWAY!

Carry on bro'

best of luck...your 'real' date is looking for you!    8)

This probably isn't the answer you are looking for but here's what I would suggest:

Just call her & ask her what happened.

That way it will ease your mind & you won't start jumping to conclusions & assuming things that might not be true.  She might have a really good reason for not calling you, but then again - she might not.  And if that's the case, then all you can do is move on to the next. :)

Keep your chin up, we've all been there. :)

I'm sorry this girl seems to be toying with you. You have a couple of choices here. You can try one more time-if you do that, I would suggest a letter stating if she doesn't want to go out with you to tell you. Or you can just chock it up to experience and move on. I know it is easier said then done.  I'm sure there are many other girls who would like to go out with you.



Good luck


Cat

I agree with Cat.

Maybe you talk to her one more time to find out why the hangup.  But if that goes bad, then drop the whole thing, she's just playing games with you.

If she treats you like dirt when/if you call her, it's a bad reflection on HER, not YOU.  I mean, if a girl asked you out, and you did not really want to, YOU would not treat her like dirt.  So don't feel bad if she turns out to be a wienie.  In fact, be glad that you did not end up wasting your hard-earned date money on her.

As for your concern "Does she think I stood her up because maybe she called when I was not there to answer the phone?", you are thinking WAY too much.  I am sure that if it were YOU making the phone call, if there were no answer you would figure that she had just gone out for an errand or something.


LB

I agree....call her back and it will be resolved, one way or the other...but I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out the way that makes you happy, Harmonica ;)

All of your people are great, you really are.

I'm glad I told you my problem and you gave me your advice, I'd love to call her back and see what happened but She's not going to talk to me, I know I've tried 2 times now already.

I'm not very lucky with the girls, and this one time I thought for once I got lucky. Just goes to show you that what you got is what you got. Damn.

All of your people are great, you really are.

I'm glad I told you my problem and you gave me your advice, I'd love to call her back and see what happened but She's not going to talk to me, I know I've tried 2 times now already.

I'm not very lucky with the girls, and this one time I thought for once I got lucky. Just goes to show you that what you got is what you got. darn.
Don't give up on her until you are sure....don't let her off so easy. At the same time YOU need to decide what is best for YOU...maybe moving on would be best....but don't you EVER feel alone...that's what this place is for. Things WILL get better for you ;)

Don't give up on her until you are sure....don't let her off so easy. At the same time YOU need to decide what is best for YOU...maybe moving on would be best....but don't you EVER feel alone...that's what this place is for. Things WILL get better for you ;)


Oh I know man. Hell, in reality of all the things that have ever happened to me as far as Tragedy is concernd this don't mean anything at all. Not a gal darn thing. In fact I keep telling myself that I should care less, that I should just let it go, but it bothers me. It's not so much that maybe she thinks I'm a looser and always did, it's that I Don't know. I just plain don't have an answer. That's what bothers me rocknrollfan.

Good people, help out good people. An excellent example right here.

Since she won't talk to you, see if your friend could find out why she's acting like that. I don't understand why she would say yes and then hang up on you, have her friends shooting your mom dirty looks etc. There has to be a reason....unless she's an immature psychopath or something, at which point I would say move on. :P Good luck to you. :)

I don't know why she's acting like that Jessica, and to be honest with you I don't think I care anymore. Yeah I liked her a lot, but I got my pride too. If her reason is because I never liked you in the first place I'm going to tell her that she should of told me that in the first place. If her reason is because of her friends or something of the sort and she regrets what she did then I'll tell her I forgive you.If she still wants to go out I'd like to say "yeah so would I, but sometimes you gotta do what's right, not what you want."  That's not going to happen. Regardless of what she say's if she ever does I'm going to laugh it off and if I can make her feel stupid and horrible. No one Jipps me and gets away with it. No one.

I wouldn't even bother to find out.  She didn't bother to get to know you or give you an explanation.  Move on.  The world is filled with women...deal with girls...expect a childish reaction.  ;)

Best of luck to you.... 8)

Hi Harmonica. Thanks for letting us now your dilhemma, man.  :)

Like Jesus and his parables, I will share an experience I have had about three and a half years ago now to illustrate my point . . .

I went to a Christmas party that was staged at a friend's house and a shy, lovely looking lady was there. She was timid but I managed to coax her out of her shell. I was happy to find I was talking to an intelligent, articulately spoken lady. She replied that she was there to assist her deaf mother. We both got drinking alcohol (as you do at parties) and we had a massive conversation about lots of different things. I went back to her place and we sat and talked until about 5:00 in the morning (no funny business went on) and she talked about intimate parts of her life .Despite finding out she had a social phobia, she gave me her phone number and said she would love to see me again.

I gave it a couple of days and I phoned her and we had a great half-hour chat and I genuinely thought she was the one for me. I popped around to her mother's house (which was the next floor down from my friend who hosted the party) where she stayed and she had a worried expression on her face but invited me in. I sat there feeling a little uncomfortable but I thought that may be just first time nerves and that. I asked if she was sure she still would like to see me again (I wasn't sure she wanted to see me as she barely spoke to me during the time I was there) and she still said yes.

From then on, I tried to phone her but she seemed to have been cut off. I tried to call around at her mother's but she said she wasn't in. I visited the friend of mine who staged the Christmas party and said I didn't know what to do and she said 'Why not write a letter to her?' I did, I thought, the more I open myself to her, the less threatened she would feel (I felt it right considering she talked about herself). However, it was all to no avail.

About six months later, I saw her walking down the street with her mother. Her mother acknowledged me with a smile but the lady didn't acknowledge me.  :\'(

What am I trying to say, Harmonica? Well, you are asking for an opinion so I will give you one based on this experience. I say let her go and forget about the 'what ifs'. They may trouble you at the moment but you will grow tired of thinking about them. You are probably thinking about this situation more than this girl is and probably will never change her mind regardless of how hard you pursue her. Concentrate on the people in your life and, you never know, love will probably come crashing into you - it did between my girlfriend and I.

All the best for the future. Keep optimistic (women love a happy person ;)) and a lady will fall into your arms.  ;)

Bobby the world is full of sad stories, I know I got my own to tell and this one is just a minor one campared to some of the rest. You know life can suck sometimes, it can suck a whole lot sometimes. It makes me wonder, no I don't know this for a fact, but I consider you to be a good person from the short time I've got to know you talking about wrestling and other topics here at these message boards and I can safely assume your a good person. Why do bad things happen to good people?  I've already been given answers beyond belief.

Her I'm over, the fact that this sheeshty experience happened to me, that's what's bothering me.

Does it make you wonder still Bobby? Why all of a sudden she seemed to have such a dislike for you all of a sudden?

We'll be the one's laughing in the end, that I guarantee.

Harmonica...

If you want to call that a bad thing?
Or in general why things happen?

At the (good) book store is a book titled EXACTLY that 'Why Bad Things Happen To Good People'.

So far so goos for you..you're learning.

Saver :)

Bobby the world is full of sad stories, I know I got my own to tell and this one is just a minor one campared to some of the rest. You know life can suck sometimes, it can suck a whole lot sometimes. It makes me wonder, no I don't know this for a fact, but I consider you to be a good person from the short time I've got to know you talking about wrestling and other topics here at these message boards and I can safely assume your a good person. Why do bad things happen to good people?  I've already been given answers beyond belief.

Her I'm over, the fact that this sheeshty experience happened to me, that's what's bothering me.

Does it make you wonder still Bobby? Why all of a sudden she seemed to have such a dislike for you all of a sudden?

We'll be the one's laughing in the end, that I guarantee.


Thank you very much for your compliments, Harmonica and I see you in exactly the same way.  :)

I (like the rest of the people on the board) try to be as good as I can - that's all we can do. We all get angry, sad and have other negative emotions but it's the way we handle them that makes us who and what we are.

Yes the world can 'suck'. But, Harmonica, it can also be a grand place. Some people see the rain on the window, some look further to see a rainbow in the sky.

Did the girl make me wonder why she disliked me? It went through my head more than a few times. I figured later on that she really must have problems of a personal nature and may not be able to enter a relationship with me. I made two disastrous attempts (including this girl) at love before my darling found me! She has given me some of the best years of my life. It will happen for you.

Your true love probably won't be a leggy 5'9 cup DD blond beauty (my girlfriend is barely 5' ) but she will love you and care for you and see beyond your faults. Religious or not, Harmonica (believe me, I'm not the most religious person around), I suggest a good look at 1Corinthians, 13:4-7.

To be honest with you Bobby I wasn't looking for true love with this girl. I was just looking for someone to have fun with and hang out with. If I ended up loving her that was something that would happen, not something I was in a quest for. To tell you the truth I don't ever want to be married, never. If it happens it happens, but it's something that's going to HAVE to happen to me, not me make it happen. I got my own reasons, good reasons.  I liked this girl a lot, a whole lot. The way she jipped me without any remorse just bothers me so much. I thought so much of this girl and to find out that's she's so inconsiderate of my feelings. Granted as I've said twice before much worse things happened in my past and much worse things will happen in my future.  Anyone thanks for taking the time to talk to me about this, and listen to my problem.

Thank all of you.

Your true love probably won't be a leggy 5'9 cup DD blond beauty (my girlfriend is barely 5' ) but she will love you and care for you and see beyond your faults.


How about the DD-blonde part?  ;D

LB

Maybe I'm a little too late to post this and I hope you don't get offended, but one possible reason she may have done this is that...well...maybe you scared her?  If you call too much, it gives the girl this impression that the guy is some creepy stalker.  It happened to me.  This guy would call to talk to me...only, he really just talked at me.  Then he called and asked me to do him a "favor."  :o  I said no; that was enough to prove to me he was a creep.  After he found out that my friends found out, he kept leaving messages on my machine, which was even more creepy.
I'm not suggesting you're like that guy at all.  I'm just saying that calling too much can freak girls out, especially if they don't know the guy that well.

lol QueenAmenRa, I know what you mean but the funny thing here is someone just got through telling me I didn't call her enough. Truth of the matter is I only called her 1 time, I wasn't going to call her again but decided to just incase she tried to get a hold of me and couldn't.  I debated whether calling her the third time was the right thing to do or not, and at first decided just to leave her alone, but then decided that I have a right to know what the hell is going on so I called her. I called a 4th time and left a voice message just to clairify my understanding of the situation.  I'm not going to bother her ever again.

I still don't know what quite to think. I was really nice and considerate and sounded like I was really disappointed when I left the voice message. Now that I look back on it I should of been more of an asshole on the voice message and told her off, I didn't though. I let her Jipp me and get away with it.
Truth of the matter is I'm not mad at her, just upset that she has no remorse nor any consideration for the way I feel.  Whether it makes me feel that bad or not, it's just sad to know some people don't care. 

As the saying goes...

"If you love something set it free.
If it does not come back, hunt it down and kill it."

To be honest with you Bobby I wasn't looking for true love with this girl. I was just looking for someone to have fun with and hang out with. If I ended up loving her that was something that would happen, not something I was in a quest for. To tell you the truth I don't ever want to be married, never. If it happens it happens, but it's something that's going to HAVE to happen to me, not me make it happen. I got my own reasons, good reasons.  I liked this girl a lot, a whole lot. The way she jipped me without any remorse just bothers me so much. I thought so much of this girl and to find out that's she's so inconsiderate of my feelings. Granted as I've said twice before much worse things happened in my past and much worse things will happen in my future.  Anyone thanks for taking the time to talk to me about this, and listen to my problem.

Thank all of you.


Ah right. If you only want 'fun' with her. You won't find it incredibly difficult to remove the emotional attachment you seem to have over her.  ;)

As for the marriage malarkey. Let's just say it's an acquired taste.  ;D

No worries at all, sir. It's good to listen to you.  :)

How about the DD-blonde part?   ;D

LB


In my dreams, Lyricboy.  ;D

As the saying goes...

"If you love something set it free.
If it does not come back, hunt it down and kill it."


Lol.  ;D

I still don't know what quite to think. I was really nice and considerate and sounded like I was really disappointed when I left the voice message. Now that I look back on it I should of been more of an a**hole on the voice message and told her off, I didn't though. I let her Jipp me and get away with it.
Truth of the matter is I'm not mad at her, just upset that she has no remorse nor any consideration for the way I feel.  Whether it makes me feel that bad or not, it's just sad to know some people don't care. 

Harmonica,  I won't bore you with my horrendous dating history.  But I have been in your place and also have been in the position to know the reasons why.  Neither one of those places are easy ones to be in.  It is unfortunate that this girl felt it necessary to not be straight with you.  But Bobby sums it up quite nicely.  Whether your intention is just companionship or love, it will happen for you. Chalk this one up to learning.
It took a few crash and burns before my husband and I found each other and it was well worth it.


Did the girl make me wonder why she disliked me? It went through my head more than a few times. I figured later on that she really must have problems of a personal nature and may not be able to enter a relationship with me. I made two disastrous attempts (including this girl) at love before my darling found me! She has given me some of the best years of my life. It will happen for you.

Your true love probably won't be a leggy 5'9 cup DD blond beauty (my girlfriend is barely 5' ) but she will love you and care for you and see beyond your faults. Religious or not, Harmonica (believe me, I'm not the most religious person around), I suggest a good look at 1Corinthians, 13:4-7.


BTW Bobby, that is one of my favorite passages.

Thanks for all of your advice and kind words.  She won't be out of my mind completely for a while, but I got a hell of a lot more things to look forward to than her, that's for sure. Maybe that's kinda harsh on my part, but whatever.  I hope sometime I find out the story behind this whole deal. Keep me from wondering. Just another experience to use in my scripts. So if you ever see a movie or play with a similiar story to this one, chances are I wrote it.

BTW Bobby, that is one of my favorite passages.


Very powerful scriptures indeed. I'm glad you like them.  :)

Thanks for all of your advice and kind words.  She won't be out of my mind completely for a while, but I got a hell of a lot more things to look forward to than her, that's for sure. Maybe that's kinda harsh on my part, but whatever.  I hope sometime I find out the story behind this whole deal. Keep me from wondering. Just another experience to use in my scripts. So if you ever see a movie or play with a similiar story to this one, chances are I wrote it.


Are you a scriptwriter, Harmonica? That is really cool. I would love to be a film director one day so you never know, we could team up together and make a hollywood blockbuster based on unrequited love.  ;D

yeah, that'd be cool.

Are you a scriptwriter, Harmonica? That is really cool. I would love to be a film director one day so you never know, we could team up together and make a hollywood blockbuster based on unrequited love.  ;D


I bet you could get Avril Lavigne to even write a song about it.

Oh way.  She already did.  :D

I bet you could get Avril Lavigne to even write a song about it.

Oh way.  She already did.  :D


. . . And plenty of other songwriters before her.  :)

hey man, this chick is obviously playing games with you. what you should do is confront her in a public place and tell her how you felt, but all the feelings have all changed now that you know what type of person she really is. in my experiences i have almost always found that you have to be very careful who you approach for a date. it's not always easy to control the way you feel about someone but sometimes you have to push your heart aside and let it go. hopefully this will help you out, and i really hope you do find someone better than her.

This issue is long gone and forgotten about dale smith...but thank you for your advice...it's very appreciated.