Subject: A funny parody from a Christmas pageant

When I was in grade school, I had to learn a song for a Christmas pageant that was so funny it has stuck with me all these years. I don't remember what grade it was. I don't know who wrote this, but the first few times we practiced it, I was giggling so hard I could barely sing.

I know it's two days late, but thought it was still worth sharing.

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, You are Much Too Fat!

Authorship Unknown

To The Tune of Jingle Bells


I heard a reindeer hoof, then Santa dressed in red,
came crashing thro' the roof and landed on my bed.
I thought it was a dream, but quickly did I wake,
as soon as I heard Santa scream, "I want a piece of cake!"

        CHORUS
        Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, you are much too fat;
        I was sleeping peacefully but not my bed is flat. Oh!
        Santa Claus, Santa Claus, how much do you weigh?

I'm glad I'm not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh!
He got up off the floor and said, "How do you do?"
I said, "My back is sore, my head is black and blue."
"So sorry!" he replied, and then he asked my name.
He offered me a ride, I said, "No, thank you just the same!" CHORUS

I heard a "ho, ho, ho," the sleigh was in the sky.
but it was moving slow and wasn't very high.
It wobbled in the air, I hoped it wouldn't fall;
Said Santa, chewing cookies, "Merry Christmas, one and all!" CHORUS