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Subject: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: AL-B on 02/13/05 at 7:08 pm

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
 
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: sputnikcorp on 02/13/05 at 7:09 pm

lmao!

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: Dagwood on 02/13/05 at 7:12 pm


4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL a**" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."


;D  Great list.

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: Full_House_Fan on 02/13/05 at 7:27 pm

I thought this was going to be wanting more pc.  That's hilarious!  ;D ;D ;D

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: JamieMcBain on 02/13/05 at 7:37 pm

Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.....  ::)  ;D

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: Tam on 09/18/07 at 12:09 am

So it's old but I found it and laughed my arse off!!! ;D ;D ;D

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: Green Lantern on 09/18/07 at 12:54 am

Hey ... well done too, Tam. It still holds up today ... and I certainly don't mind reading someone else's jokes!  ;D ;D

Subject: Re: New politically correct terms for men and women

Written By: Green Lantern on 09/18/07 at 1:03 am

Yes .... I can relate to that 'liquid grain storage' facility ....

Went to the loo the other day ... looked down .... couldn't see the friend who's hand I love to shake .. the 'one eyed trouser snake' ... 'cause of that 'liquid grain storage' facility ....  :\'( :\'( :\'(

Think I've forgotten what it looks like!  :\'(

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