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Subject: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/10/07 at 9:29 pm

http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?storyid=20419&ret=Default.aspx

Photos of Jennifer Kesse, a 24-year-old Florida woman who disappeared in January of 2006, are popping up on Internet dating sites. 

http://www.wftv.com/2006/0130/6583970_240X180.jpg

The pretty young woman in the above photo is presumed dead, foul play suspected. 
The news media is chalking this up to a depraved indifference to the feelings of the woman's loved ones, but they're missing the more pathetic truth: All those photos of drop-dead gorgeous woman for match.com and other Internet agony columns have to come from somewhere.  Most of the profiles for beautiful gals on 'net dating sites--vanilla, chocolate, or rocky road--are bogus.  If the companies that run the sites did not perpetuate this fraudulent practice, the ratio of males to females would be what it really is--9:1--and their profits would nosedive.  False hope for the fellas keeps it all rolling along!
:D

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: whistledog on 08/10/07 at 9:37 pm

Smokin' hot women don't need dating sites, because they are smokin' hot women

Whenever I go to dating sites, I am a tall, blonde muscular guy who can bench press 350 :D

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/10/07 at 9:53 pm




Whenever I go to dating sites, I am a tall, blonde muscular guy who can bench press 350 :D


Smokin' hot women don't need dating sites, because they are smokin' hot women.



Eggzactly!  But Joe Shmo guys don't catch on 'cos the little head always thinks for the big head!

I say a I'm a cosmopolitan billionaire who loves to give diamonds to dumb broads!  Ohhhh!
8)

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: Red Ant on 08/10/07 at 11:48 pm


http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?storyid=20419&ret=Default.aspx

Photos of Jennifer Kesse, a 24-year-old Florida woman who disappeared in January of 2006, are popping up on Internet dating sites. 

http://www.wftv.com/2006/0130/6583970_240X180.jpg




Now that's really effed up. Who would take a picture of a missing (and presumed dead) girl and use it as theirs or for the company?  :o


The pretty young woman in the above photo is presumed dead, foul play suspected. 



She does have very nice facial features (translation: she's a babe). Shame someone had to end her life, or kidnap her...


The news media is chalking this up to a depraved indifference to the feelings of the woman's loved ones, but they're missing the more pathetic truth: All those photos of drop-dead gorgeous woman for match.com and other Internet agony columns have to come from somewhere.  Most of the profiles for beautiful gals on 'net dating sites--vanilla, chocolate, or rocky road--are bogus.  If the companies that run the sites did not perpetuate this fraudulent practice, the ratio of males to females would be what it really is--9:1--and their profits would nosedive.  False hope for the fellas keeps it all rolling along!
:D


I thinlk the ratio is probably closer to 20:1.

/morbid humor on

Max, are you saying that we don't even have a chance with dead girls? Come on, I have the perfect pick up line:

"Hey, baby, let's ditch all these stiffs, this party is dead. Wanna come over to my place?"

Dead chicks REALLY dig it when you bring them flowers.  :D

Of course, the last thing you want to feed them for dinner is Tombstone pizza...

/morbid humor off

Ant

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/11/07 at 12:53 am


Now that's really effed up. Who would take a picture of a missing (and presumed dead) girl and use it as theirs or for the company?  :o

She does have very nice facial features (translation: she's a babe). Shame someone had to end her life, or kidnap her...

I thinlk the ratio is probably closer to 20:1.

/morbid humor on

Max, are you saying that we don't even have a chance with dead girls? Come on, I have the perfect pick up line:

"Hey, baby, let's ditch all these stiffs, this party is dead. Wanna come over to my place?"

Dead chicks REALLY dig it when you bring them flowers.  :D

Of course, the last thing you want to feed them for dinner is Tombstone pizza...

/morbid humor off

Ant

^ He's good!
;D

You're probably right about the M-F ratio; I do like to cite a more optimistic number.

It wasn't just that I struck out on a few of these sites.  I had some success as well.  However, it took me an inordinate amount of time.  I wasn't interested in the bar scene, but I realized I'd have more success down at the waterin' hole 'cos you can't send five gin-and-tonics through cyberspace!  But I kept noticing women that looked suspiciously like magazine models.  I did a little research and discovered why.  It's because they are magazine models.  A little more more net surfing led me to a consumer complaints site on which there were dopes like me who also felt like they just walked out of PT Barnum's show. 

But then there were the positive testimonials countering our claims.  So I thought....hmmm, either we're the hard luck gang....or.... A little more digging turned up evidence that the employees of these sites pose as "success stories"!

As for e-Harmony, it's not sour grapes, I know it's a Christian/conservative-oriented site, so I wouldn't join anyway...but e-Harmony doesn't let guys like me join in the first place.  There are several criteria that get you e-Blackballed.  I'm a short man.  Huh?  Isn't that discrimination? Yes.  Isn't that illegal?  Nope.
a. It's illegal if it's based on race or ethnicity.
b. e-Harmony doesn't tell you you can't join; they'll take your 30 dollars, they just won't send you any matches.
The "e" stands for "eugenics."
:D
All but the last sentence is know to be true.  The last bit is just a logical conclusion.
The "psychologists" who developed the site claim they base their criteria on what makes relationships "last."  A cursory glance at the early 20th century will tell you that matchmaking by statistics is the end of romance and the beginning of eugenics!

::)

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: agoraphobicwhacko on 08/11/07 at 2:53 am

Anyone who has been on the internet for at least a minimal amount of time should know about dating sites, chat rooms,etc. 99.9% of the "women" are either men(most likely gay or at least with major self esteem issues) posing as women, or women(probably married) using fake pics just to have a little fantasy fun in their dull lives. Like some of you, I have went out with a few women online over the years, but that is a rarity. I have noticed over the years how a very large percentage of the pics people post on those types of sites are either way too professional, or they only have one or two pics of the woman being used in the pic. The usual excuse is they dont have a scanner, so they cant upload more pics now but they'll do it later. I have even seen people use pics of obscure actresses/amateur models on those types of sites.

Another red flag is when "she" is always putting off a real life encounter, even if the woman shows interest. They will think up all kinds of excuses. Some just get off on the thrill of getting responses, and after one or two emails, regardless of what was said to you, they'll ignore you.

Also, when the "woman" is interested in chatting on IM and seeing you on web cam, but "she" doesn't have one.

As far as chat rooms go, a major red flag is a woman who sends you one nude pic(maybe two), yet has no other pics, not even any pics with clothes on. There isn't a woman on this earth who would upload one or two nude pics but no other pics. This person you are chatting with is using pics they have taken from a website.Also, ask questions. Something as simple as shoe size is a good one, or if the discussion has went sexual, ask the size of their panties. Inexperienced or gay men uncomfortable with their sexuality(the types most likely to impersonate women) dont know alot about women, and will usually stumble when asked those types of questions.

This is a massive problem, yet it is never addressed by the sites, and the media most certainly ignores it. I guess the sites dont care as long as they are getting hits and people click on their ads. Their mistake though is not thinking long term. Eventually, all that will be left at the sites are the fakes.

It really shows how the internet is effecting society. When a man(or maybe even a teen) has sexual/esteem issues, they create these little fantasy worlds for themselves that they cant live in real life, and women probably also do this(although not on the same scale).

Its why I havent used chat rooms in years. You are more than likely talking to a man acting like a woman. I don't use dating sites anymore, because it takes up way too much time having to sort through all the fakes before you finally stumble upon a woman thats real.

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: agoraphobicwhacko on 08/11/07 at 3:16 am


Smokin' hot women don't need dating sites, because they are smokin' hot women
Bingo! You just hit the nail on the head. When you see some young and extremely sexy woman on a dating site, quickly go to the next profile, because she isn't real. Any reasonably attractive women in the 18-25 age range will not be using dating sites. They will either be dating in college, through the bar/club scene, or if she is a "good girl", through a local church group.

Go check myspace or facebook. Yeah, those sites have some fakes as well, but click on an attractive woman's profile, and her status will likely be "in a relationship", or if she's single, read her comments. You'll see interaction between her and friends about things they have done lately.

Meeting guys on dating sites and chat rooms isn't one of them.

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: LyricBoy on 08/11/07 at 5:26 pm

There once was a trog named Dave...
Who kept a dead girl in his cave...
He said with a grunt...



(Well I think you know the rest)    ;) ;D

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/11/07 at 8:54 pm


There once was a trog named Dave...
Who kept a dead girl in his cave...
He said with a grunt...




As he went out on the....hunt,
No sense in wasting stiff babes!
???


Bingo! You just hit the nail on the head. When you see some young and extremely sexy woman on a dating site, quickly go to the next profile, because she isn't real. Any reasonably attractive women in the 18-25 age range will not be using dating sites. They will either be dating in college, through the bar/club scene, or if she is a "good girl", through a local church group.

Go check myspace or facebook. Yeah, those sites have some fakes as well, but click on an attractive woman's profile, and her status will likely be "in a relationship", or if she's single, read her comments. You'll see interaction between her and friends about things they have done lately.

Meeting guys on dating sites and chat rooms isn't one of them.

Another thing they do is leave women's profiles up long after their memberships have expired. 
What can I say?  It's the Potemkin village of p*ssy.
::)

Furthermore, the kind of guys women compete for are already in relationships.  They're not on match, or whatever.  It's a vicious game for both sexes, so....

I just won't chase skirt anymore.  If you can be just as happy without it, you're in much better shape.  Marriage itself is a transient institution.  All that's left is the wedding cake and the honeymoon suite.  I'd rather be a hermit monk.


Oh, and should you decide you don't need it, you find there are about 10,000 advertised products you suddenly don't need either!

Keep the money in the bank and the old jalopy on the road!
;)

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: Marian on 08/12/07 at 4:26 pm


Smokin' hot women don't need dating sites, because they are smokin' hot women

Whenever I go to dating sites, I am a tall, blonde muscular guy who can bench press 350 :D
LOL

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: Foo Bar on 08/15/07 at 12:48 am

the Intarweb:  Where men are men, women are men, and the sheep are very very frightened.

When a woman on the Intarweb tells you she's interested in you, remember the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar:  "IT'S A TRAP!"

(Although I think the case being discussed is one of the most epic cases of funny I've seen in a while.  "GOLD, JERRY!  GOLD!")

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/15/07 at 2:32 am


the Intarweb:  Where men are men, women are men, and the sheep are very very frightened.

When a woman on the Intarweb tells you she's interested in you, remember the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar:  "IT'S A TRAP!"

(Although I think the case being discussed is one of the most epic cases of funny I've seen in a while.  "GOLD, JERRY!  GOLD!")

Should be granted the same credibility as your average "get rich quick" scheme.

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: Foo Bar on 08/15/07 at 11:30 pm


Should be granted the same credibility as your average "get rich quick" scheme.


There's considerable overlap between the two.  In a rare burst of integrity, NBC spent some time playing "To Catch an ID Thief", and the most fascinating thing wasn't that they managed to find the US side of the fencing operation, but that the US side of the fencing operation is most often some poor Chuck trying to "help" his successful "girlfriend" set up "her" business in Austrialia.  "Her" business, of course, involved the processing and shipping of high-end consumer electronics to (surprise!) Nigeria.

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/16/07 at 12:29 am


There's considerable overlap between the two.  In a rare burst of integrity, NBC spent some time playing "To Catch an ID Thief", and the most fascinating thing wasn't that they managed to find the US side of the fencing operation, but that the US side of the fencing operation is most often some poor Chuck trying to "help" his successful "girlfriend" set up "her" business in Austrialia.  "Her" business, of course, involved the processing and shipping of high-end consumer electronics to (surprise!) Nigeria.

I'm so fed up with it, I'd send each one of the $20.00 if they'd only stop emailing me!
::)

Subject: Re: Date with a dead girl?

Written By: Foo Bar on 08/16/07 at 11:23 pm


I'm so fed up with it, I'd send each one of the $20.00 if they'd only stop emailing me!
::)


It won't get 'em to stop.  But it will make you feel better.  Visit www.419eater.com and watch 'em jump through the hoops.

Yes, it involves purposely baiting organized criminals, so don't try this with any "real" email account. With sufficient precautions, you can win with hilarious results.  Truckloads of epic lulz to be had, all for the price of a free hotmail account and a wireless connection at a local Starbucks!

Recommended musical accompaniment:  Weird Al Yankovic, Weasel Stomping Day, with the word "Weasel" replaced by "Spammer".  Don't change anything else in the song.  Or, for that matter, the video.

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