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This is a topic from the Current Politics and Religious Topics forum on inthe00s.
Subject: Homeland Security: Not Applicable to Military Aircraft
Written By: Red Ant on 09/05/07 at 3:37 pm
Having flown recently, I have dealt with Homeland Security up close and personal.
All liquids must be in 3oz or smaller containers and inside those explosion proof Ziploc bags. A bottle of Aquafina that you bring is obviously a bomb, so you have to throw it away (the janitors at airports must also be EOD experts). Past the security checkpoint, you can buy a bottle of Aquafina that has been certified by the DOEB (Department of Excessive Bulls***) to be completely safe. Any sharp instruments you try to carry on is grounds to be body cavity searched, repeatedly, for hours. And:
If you make anything resembling a joke about a bomb on a plane, you are shot on sight.
Okay, so I stetch the truth a *bit*, but the following is no joke:
Nuclear Bombs Mistakenly Fly Over U.S.
It's comforting to know that the country would go to Death Con 11 if I inadvertently brough a can of mace on a puddlejumper, but it's just a "mistake" when 6 nuclear warheads are somehow left on a B-52 Bomber that flies over several states.
Lovely.
Ant
Subject: Re: Homeland Security: Not Applicable to Military Aircraft
Written By: philbo on 09/05/07 at 4:19 pm
Lucky they didn't realize half-way, panic and push 'em out over Washington DC :)
You know all the stuff you can't take on-board these days? A while back, I made a little list ;)
Subject: Re: Homeland Security: Not Applicable to Military Aircraft
Written By: CatwomanofV on 09/05/07 at 5:10 pm
Homeland Security is such a f***ing joke. ::)
Cat
Subject: Re: Homeland Security: Not Applicable to Military Aircraft
Written By: MaxwellSmart on 09/05/07 at 7:36 pm
Having flown recently, I have dealt with Homeland Security up close and personal.
All liquids must be in 3oz or smaller containers and inside those explosion proof Ziploc bags. A bottle of Aquafina that you bring is obviously a bomb, so you have to throw it away (the janitors at airports must also be EOD experts). Past the security checkpoint, you can buy a bottle of Aquafina that has been certified by the DOEB (Department of Excessive Bulls***) to be completely safe. Any sharp instruments you try to carry on is grounds to be body cavity searched, repeatedly, for hours. And:
If you make anything resembling a joke about a bomb on a plane, you are shot on sight.
Okay, so I stetch the truth a *bit*, but the following is no joke:
Nuclear Bombs Mistakenly Fly Over U.S.
It's comforting to know that the country would go to Death Con 11 if I inadvertently brough a can of mace on a puddlejumper, but it's just a "mistake" when 6 nuclear warheads are somehow left on a B-52 Bomber that flies over several states.
Lovely.
Ant
"Plan R? Goldie, didn't I say I didn't want no horsin' around on the plan?"
--Major Kong