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Subject: Armond White..... Best film critic ever?

Written By: JamieMcBain on 08/05/10 at 11:21 am

Recently White, had posted some pretty negative reviews, about Inception and Toy Story 3, two of the highest grossing films of this year.

The irony?

He thinks that Norbit, Meet Dave, Jonah Hex, and Transformers 2, are the far superior films.

::)

Some choice classic Armond White quotes....

Clash of Titans remake

"Leterrier certainly shows a better sense of meaningful, economic narrative than the mess that Peter Jackson made of the interminable, incoherent Lord of the Rings trilogy."

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

"G.I. Joe must be understood as an authentic measurement of our cultural values. Its appeal to the pop-commercial synapses also demonstrates livelier filmmaking than such utter banality as Iron Man and Star Trek and Harry Potter’s Half-Blooded Chintz."

Transporter 3

" Forget the Oscar bait, Transporter 3 is the only movie you need to see this season."

Slumdog Millionaire

"There hasn’t been a social drama this decadently over-hyped since City of God. Boyle plays the same game of pandering to liberal sensibilities while entertaining safe, middle-class distance."







Subject: Re: Armond White..... Best film critic ever?

Written By: JamieMcBain on 08/05/10 at 11:31 am

The following are excerpts from some of his film reviews....

Inception

" Like Grand Theft Auto's quasi-cinematic extension of noir and action-flick plots, Inception manipulates the digital audience’s delectation for relentless subterfuge."

Grown Ups

" Cheerful and surprisingly heartfelt."

Knight & Day

" There’s no kinetic rhythm, no From Paris With Love energy or craft, no Jonah Hex wit -- only a distorted, distended James Bondish marathon chase."

Subject: Re: Armond White..... Best film critic ever?

Written By: JamieMcBain on 08/05/10 at 11:35 am

Jonah Hex

" It reexamines assumptions of good and evil, morality tale vs, trite entertainment, by confronting the hideous compromises people make with social conventions and their own desperation."

Toy Story 3

" Toy Story 3 is so besotted with brand names and product-placement that it stops being about the innocent pleasures of imagination, the usefulness of toys and strictly celebrates consumerism."

"Look at the Barbie and Ken sequence where the sexually dubious male doll struts a chick-flick fashion show. Since it serves the same time-keeping purpose as a chick-flick digression, it’s not satirical. We’re meant to enjoy our susceptibility, not question it, as in Joe Dante’s more challenging Small Soldiers. Have shill-critics forgotten that movie? Do they mistake Toy Story 3’s opening day for 4th of July patriotism?"

Killers

"  The film’s awareness of subterfuge and assassination as contemporary habit represents a change in how people perceive loving, citizenship and morality."

Subject: Re: Armond White..... Best film critic ever?

Written By: JamieMcBain on 08/05/10 at 11:41 am

From Paris with Love

"  Giddily succinct in ways literal-minded folk will not appreciate, From Paris With Love is an object lesson in the realities of what the Obama administration once euphemized as “man-made disaster.”

Avatar

"  The corniest movie ever made about the white man's need to lose his identity and assuage racial, political, sexual and historical guilt."

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

"  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is more proof, Bay has a great eye for scale and a gift for visceral amazement."

Subject: Re: Armond White..... Best film critic ever?

Written By: Starde on 08/05/10 at 12:31 pm

Armond White is a full of sh*t critic! ::) I never take his guy seriously and no one else should either.

Subject: Re: Armond White..... Best film critic ever?

Written By: JamieMcBain on 08/05/10 at 12:36 pm


Armond White is a full of sh*t critic! ::) I never take his guy seriously and no one else should either.


But he liked the film, This Is It, that has to count for something doesn't it?

;D

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