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Subject: Witch Doctors

Written By: LyricBoy on 03/07/12 at 7:29 pm

So my company brought in one of these management consultant companies to study the "group dynamics" of the management team, of which I am a senior member.  They administer all sorts of questionnaires etc to assess our "personality profile".

Note that I have an interesting position in my company.  Formally, absolutely nobody in our company reports to me.  That said I can bark out orders to anybody in the company other than the owner and the President and they have to comply.  The best description of my job is "consigliere".

They have one thing that is called "degree of satisfaction in life".  I absolutely pegged the needle at a "9" which nobody else in the company achieved.  Sounds pretty sweet.  Other than that, my 'profile' says that I want perfection, NOW, and I don't care how many eggs have to be broken to get there.  'Nads to the wall, get the job done right and now.  GTFOMW.  Fair enough.

Then we have the "one on one" sessions.  After the usual niceties, the consultant dude says to me "LB, not to pry, but our research shows that people who have a level of satisfaction in life as high as yours must have been really jacked up sometime earlier in their life.  What's up with you?".

My response?  "Where do I start..."  ;D ;D

Subject: Re: Witch Doctors

Written By: wildcard on 03/07/12 at 10:02 pm


Subject: Re: Witch Doctors

Written By: Foo Bar on 03/08/12 at 1:16 am

They administer all sorts of questionnaires etc to assess our "personality profile".

You and I have had our differences in politics, but on this we agree 120%.  My company's not there (yet), so karma on my behalf for the inspiration for that fateful day.

I recognize most of the psych tests, and the day the company ever gets big enough that its HR department becomes mindless enough to not only start using them, but to rely on third-party conslutants to administer them, I am so going to troll them in full honey badger style.  Any company that takes the answers seriously enough to fire me, isn't a company I want to work for.  Any company that takes the answers seriously enough to promote me above my level of competence, deserves what they get!


Disobedient! (One too many lies!)
Disobedient! (That's the greatest swindle!)
Disobedient! (Everything falls into place!)
Disobedient! (Take these words and feel thyself.)
  - KMFDM, Disobedience.

If they think the job calls for a certain personality type, and you think they're wrong, be whatever personality type you need to be on the test.  If it turns out they were right all along, and the company isn't worth working for, you can always look for another job (which is always easier when you already have a job) while you're still there.

The best thing about my day job is that my day job's HR department hasn't (yet) gotten this stupid.  But when that fateful day comes, I will remember this thread.

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