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Subject: traditional weddings:

Written By: jamminoldies on 05/06/02 at 08:31 p.m.

I just love attending traditional weddings.I am Jewish and the other day,I went to a Jewish wedding.My cousin got married.And after the vows and stuff,The bride and groom drank grape wine and stomped the glass.At the dinner,the DJ played"Hava Nagila"and did the chair dance where the bride and groom are sitting and they are spun around while sitting.

A few years ago I attended an Italian wedding with my ex-girlfriend.Her Cousin was about to get married.I enjoyed dancing"The Pizza Dance"and doing loads of crazy stuff.It was overwhelming.Any of you attend traditional weddings? -howard- :)

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Zella on 05/06/02 at 10:48 p.m.

The last wedding I attended was entirely in Spanish and I understood very little of it. Except partway thru his spiel in Spanish the pastor tossed in the words "Elizabth Taylor." Never did find out what that was all about!  :D

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Bobo on 05/07/02 at 01:20 a.m.

All this talk about weddings has got me thinking... are traditional weddings the way forward for the 21st century? As time has gone by, on the news, more and more talk has been of the extraordinary, which, coupled with the traditional, seems to spoil for me the purpose of a wedding. Opinions?

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: XenaKat13 on 05/07/02 at 09:41 a.m.

I've been to many traditional weddings, and a few that mixed in some non-traditional happenings.

While getting married in bizzare costumes or while water-skiing or parachuting may make for a good news story, I feel that the sensationalism detracts from the purpose of the wedding itself, and as such, are best left to the Hollywood types.


But, the times, they are a-changin'.  I've been to a wedding where the bride was given away by both her biological father, and her step-father, (who was there for most of her upbringing.  I have been to weddings where the bride had no close female friends, so in place of a maid of honor, her best male friend stood in (giving the wedding two 'best men').

I have been to weddings that were traditional in every other way except the bride's white dress and matching bridesmaids outfits (nobody could afford formal dresses that would only be worn once, so they chose to spend the money they had on the wedding feast, and a down payment on a home).

I have even been to weddings where the bride was given away by her mother, and mother's (female) significant other.

I think our ideas of what constitutes a "traditional wedding" changes slowly, in concert with what society as a whole considers "normal".  And before anyone gets upset, we should remember that in olden times, it was considered "normal" for the bride and groom to never have met each other before the wedding.  Your spouse was chosen for you by your parents, or the local lord (or king.)

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Kryllith on 05/07/02 at 12:03 a.m.

Well...

I initially got married in a courthouse, since it was during finals and my fiance and I didn't want anything big.  Later, when we had a public wedding for our families, we performed a Handfasting...

Kryllith

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Natalie on 05/07/02 at 12:08 a.m.

I'm getting married next year, and I'm trying to think of unique ideas to make our day special.  I don't know much about my ancestor's traditions, but I do know I am almost 100% French.  What are some French wedding traditions?  Does anyone know?  

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Bobo on 05/07/02 at 12:50 a.m.

A traditional French wedding? See if this is what you are looking for. If not, feel free to kill me.

http://www.world-wedding-traditions.net/western_europe/french_traditions.htm

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Quoting:
I'm getting married next year, and I'm trying to think of unique ideas to make our day special.  I don't know much about my ancestor's traditions, but I do know I am almost 100% French.  What are some French wedding traditions?  Does anyone know?  
End Quote

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: panda on 05/07/02 at 03:06 p.m.



Quoting:
Well...

I initially got married in a courthouse, since it was during finals and my fiance and I didn't want anything big.  Later, when we had a public wedding for our families, we performed a Handfasting...

Kryllith
End Quote



i was engaged once and wanted to either elope in front of a judge or have a handfasting with a small group of family and friends, but my ex-fiance said that we couldn't do either.  he refused to elope because then we wouldn't get as many presents as we would have with a big wedding.  and he refused the handfasting because he was convinced that his entire family would disown him if they found out he wasn't christian.  i told him he was being a little paranoid, but he wouldn't hear it.  he wouldn't even settle for a small, non-religious wedding...it had to be big, in a church and with everyone he knew invited...just so he wouldn't have to tell anyone about his paganism and so he could get lots of presents.  very selfish reasons.  i think that's part of why we broke up...he was only selectively open about his religion and would go to great lengths to cover it up to his family.

if i'm ever in the position to get married again, i want either a handfasting or a non-religious ceremony with a small number of family and close friends there (no more than 75...total).

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Kryllith on 05/07/02 at 03:26 p.m.

Quoting:



i was engaged once and wanted to either elope in front of a judge or have a handfasting with a small group of family and friends, but my ex-fiance said that we couldn't do either.  he refused to elope because then we wouldn't get as many presents as we would have with a big wedding.  and he refused the handfasting because he was convinced that his entire family would disown him if they found out he wasn't christian.  i told him he was being a little paranoid, but he wouldn't hear it.  he wouldn't even settle for a small, non-religious wedding...it had to be big, in a church and with everyone he knew invited...just so he wouldn't have to tell anyone about his paganism and so he could get lots of presents.  very selfish reasons.  i think that's part of why we broke up...he was only selectively open about his religion and would go to great lengths to cover it up to his family.

if i'm ever in the position to get married again, i want either a handfasting or a non-religious ceremony with a small number of family and close friends there (no more than 75...total).
End Quote


I was lucky enough to have a fiance (or rather a wife at the time) in favor with me on the handfasting. She's Wiccan (though much of her extended family doesn't know it) and I'm not religious. Since the handfasting ceremony served historically for communities without a pastor/priest/whatever; nobody had any problem with it. The Wiccan priestess that perform the ceremony was also ordained as a Unitarian. So, either way, nobody could argue about it. ;)

Kryllith

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: southernspitfire on 05/07/02 at 07:12 p.m.

I have had 2 (yes 2!!) somewhat traditional weddings, but I will only speak of the later one since that is the one that only counts!!

We did the whole "traditional" wedding bit (around 150 people)but I did not wear white...a "champagne" is what it was called...but we had the wedding party..the minister, but was married outside at my parents big lakeside home on their front porch.  The wedding was very traditional, but the reception (after the cake cutting, the first drink, the first dance and all the photo ops) was a drunken blow out.  My parents have an indoor swimming pool room with a bar and music and dance floor..and I have to say it was quite nice having the chance to be "normal" after the wedding to sit and drink a cold beer and just hang with our friends.  We did the catered buffet thing (MY GOD at the food that we had..that I did NOT get to eat!!!) for food and provided our guests a place to change out of there formal attire and get into basic party wear to enjoy the rest of the afternoon and everning!  And to this day..just over 5 years now..we still have people come up to us and say that was the BEST wedding they have ever been too!!!!!!!!!

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Hairspray on 05/07/02 at 07:20 p.m.

What's "handfasting"?  ???

I'm just "on a roll" today with cluelessness.  ;D

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Tarzan Boy (Guest) on 05/07/02 at 08:01 p.m.


Quoting:
What's "handfasting"?  ???

I'm just "on a roll" today with cluelessness.  ;D
End Quote



Yeah, same here. What is "handfasting"?

Weddings...hmmm...got to wear a tuxedo without looking out of place. I rather liked being attired thus, very sophisto, and I got to check out quite a few bezoomy devotchkas that came with the bride's party. It's like that line from Clerks: I hate people, but I love gatherings..."

Tarzanboi

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Banasy on 05/07/02 at 09:16 p.m.



I had a big bash the first time, and got married by a J.P. the second time...I've been to a jillion weddings...Greek, Jewish, Italian...a really cool Mexican wedding where they had mariachies go table to table...and of course, our Anglo table knew no Spanish except "La Cucaracha"...so they played that! Yuck! Over and over...

IMO, a wedding should be as bizarre or as tradional as the bride and groom want it to be...especially if they are actually paying for it themselves...

Too many cooks in the kitchen can spoil the broth, they say, and if the couple does not want small children there...so be it.
If they want to wear matching potato sacks...so be it. I have seen "wedding burnout" and brides so stressed because of all the bickering, they couldn't even enjoy their own wedding!  Whatever.  Sometimes people need to be reminded that it's not supposed to be all pomp and circumstance- it's also a declaration of love and devotion to each other-and one does not have to have a grand paegent to say "I Do".

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Natalie on 05/08/02 at 00:02 a.m.

I'm with Hairspray and Tarzan Boy, what is handfasting?  I'm so glad some one else brought that up.  I thought I was the only clueless one.   :-[

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Marci on 05/08/02 at 01:36 a.m.

Quoting:

While getting married in bizzare costumes or while water-skiing or parachuting may make for a good news story, I feel that the sensationalism detracts from the purpose of the wedding itself, and as such, are best left to the Hollywood types.
End Quote


That can be true.  My wedding was your basic wedding, in a chapel with a retired chaplain officiating (and he did keep messing up my name... ::)) and it was very nice, but not real "original".  
Now my sister in law got married much differently..they got married in this castle looking hall and she had all these victorian looking dresses for both herself and her bridesmaids, and the guys all wore powdered long wigs and knickers.  Pretty, but strange. Meeting a future male relative in a curly white wig, looking like Thomas Jefferson in purple velvet half pants--just a bit odd!   ;)  It was cool enough, but I'd never seen anything like it before.  She told us that they went to some costume place that had pictures of all the different kinds of weddings they could pick from, and she said that on their ten year anniversary they want to renew their vows in disco costumes.. :-/  We'll  have to wait and see if they stick with that or not!  :)  
I think it's great if it means something to you, but if it's just for shock value..well, that's a different thing to me.
Gosh, ya mean my husband and I could have gotten married in a Rocky Horror Picture Show themed wedding??  Should I dress like Janet Weiss or Columbia?  Decisions, decisions!   ;)

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: southernspitfire on 05/08/02 at 01:43 a.m.

I went to yahoo and looked up handfasting and this is what I found

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Agora/2416/handpag1.html

now THIS is only what I was able to find..so if I am wrong...please anyone correct me..I do not want to insult anyone who had this type of wedding or if the info I posted is incorrect.

I was just curious too!!!!

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Kryllith on 05/08/02 at 12:21 a.m.

That is very much a version of a tradition Pagan handfasting, though handfasting isn't always quite as elaborate (ours wasn't). Peasants, villagers, etc in Britain often did not have regular access to priests. As such, Christian weddings could only be performed when a roaming priest passed through a village lacking a Christian church. When a priest wasn't available, the population would undergo a handfasting which basically amounted to a wedding without an ordained priest. When a priest finally did pass through the village, those who had been handfasted would then have the priest perform the Christain wedding ceremony.

Kryllith

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: philbo_baggins on 05/08/02 at 12:29 a.m.

I was at a golf and country club yesterday, and while I was in the office someone rang up to book the place for their wedding reception - in 2006!

I mean, there's planning in advance, but this is ridiculous!!

Phil

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: panda on 05/08/02 at 12:32 a.m.

yes, that is an example of a pretty elaborate ritual handfasting.  however, as with any pagan ritual, a handfasting can be as elaborate or as simple as the participants wish.  there is also a reverse handfasting ritual if the couple wishes to 'divorce'...it lets them recognize that they can't or don't want to be married anymore and aids them in parting peacefully.  i personally do not know anyone who has done a reverse handfasting ritual, so i'm not sure if the theory works.

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Natalie on 05/08/02 at 01:09 p.m.


Quoting:
I was at a golf and country club yesterday, and while I was in the office someone rang up to book the place for their wedding reception - in 2006!

I mean, there's planning in advance, but this is ridiculous!!

Phil
End Quote



Whoa, I thought I was anal about booking a place now for my wedding next year.  

Ya know what, though, I'm glad I am looking into booking right now. The place where we want to get married is already booked the weekend before and the weekend after the the date we've chosen.  I guess everyone is starting to book earlier than the standard "one year before the day" time frame.  

2006? Now that's pretty ridiculous.  

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: langdon_hughes on 05/09/02 at 00:45 a.m.

Ha! I'm looking right now to find someone I want to book as my fiance in 2006! Three months ago I had the wedding planned, the dance list selected, the place picked out, the menu chosen, names for both my firstborn boy and girl...everything in fact except a boyfriend who, as it turns out, wanted to become my husband.

My friends,however, did the coolest thing. They're both movie buffs, so instead of one huge cake, each table had one simple small cake which they decorated with toys and a little movie poster, different theme for different tables. For instance, the "Wizard of Oz" cake had red glittery Barbie shoes and a Fischer-Price house a little askew, the "Goldeneye" had a toy microscope and an army man getting ready to fry. "Planet of the Apes" had a sideways Statue of Liberty and those plastic monkeys from the barrel on the cake. I got the "Carrie" table where the cake was decorated with a tiara and a pig lying on its side with red frosting on its belly, (my friend said she had to check the guest list to find the table with the folks who could find that funny).

Then, to find your table, you got your name tag. On the back was a quote from a movie. You then wandered around until you either found the corresponding cake or someone took pity on you and told you what the quote was from. (From what the quote was?)

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: philbo_baggins on 05/09/02 at 06:40 a.m.

Love the "find your table" concept... especially the "Carrie" table...

Quoting:
Then, to find your table, you got your name tag. On the back was a quote from a movie. You then wandered around until you either found the corresponding cake or someone took pity on you and told you what the quote was from. (From what the quote was?)
End Quote


Do you know the one about the inmate who's about to be released, and he's always rather fancied the prison nurse, so he decides that as he has his final medical before being released he'll ask her if she'll join him for lunch after he's out.  Her response, of course, was "you should never end a sentence with a proposition"

or should I have posted that in the "good jokes" thread?

Phil

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Kryllith on 05/09/02 at 07:34 a.m.


Quoting:
Love the "find your table" concept... especially the "Carrie" table...

Do you know the one about the inmate who's about to be released, and he's always rather fancied the prison nurse, so he decides that as he has his final medical before being released he'll ask her if she'll join him for lunch after he's out.  Her response, of course, was "you should never end a sentence with a proposition"

or should I have posted that in the "good jokes" thread?

Phil
End Quote


laugh, actually you probably should have posted it on the weird-isms thread, given the preposition/proposition discussion there. :)

Kryllith

Subject: Re: traditional weddings:

Written By: Natalie on 05/09/02 at 11:38 p.m.


Quoting:
or should I have posted that in the "good jokes" thread?

Phil
End Quote



That was a good joke to me!  ;D