Welcome to the archived messages from In The 00s. This archive stretches back to 1998 in some instances, and contains a nearly complete record of all the messages posted to inthe00s.com. You will also find an archive of the messages from inthe70s.com, inthe80s.com, inthe90s.com and amiright.com before they were combined to form the inthe00s.com messageboard.
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Subject: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Right then. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1".... ON PURPOSE!
Please print this out and pass to your partner for a greater understanding:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1.Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1.Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1.Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1.Crying IS blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1.We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1.Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1.Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1.You have too many shoes.
1. NO really, you do have too many shoes.
1.It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1.BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
The End??????
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
SUNDAY! SUNDAY is sports day! ;D and so is Saturday.
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
SUNDAY! SUNDAY is sports day! ;D and so is Saturday.
End Quote
Saturday in the UK RiceCube!! Maybe I should have worded it Saturday/Sunday!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!
Where do you come UP With this stuff?! :D :D :D
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!
Where do you come UP With this stuff?! :D :D :D
End Quote
Now if I told you, then I'd have to kill you!!
And there's plenty more where this came from!!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Are you a comedian or something? I know you're over in England or something...are you that Eddie Izzard guy in disguise?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Are you a comedian or something? I know you're over in England or something...are you that Eddie Izzard guy in disguise?
End Quote
You just don't know how close you are!!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Close to what? Getting my darn candy bars?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
LMAO! :D
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Right then. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1".... ON PURPOSE!
Please print this out and pass to your partner for a greater understanding:
End Quote
Oh my goodness! I think I'm in love with you GR!
I'm telling you sweetheart - Louisville is beautiful...
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Gabble Ratchet, you player you! Looks like you've found a...what do they call them...a BIRD!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Gabble Ratchet, you player you! Looks like you've found a...what do they call them...a BIRD!
End Quote
And, just what do you mean by that, kind sir?
"You- Gentlemen! by dint of long seclusion
From better company, have kept your own..."
-George Byron
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I meant no disrespect...I thought that the slang term for women in English dialects was 'Bird,' likewise the American counterpart to that phrase is 'chick'
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
I meant no disrespect...I thought that the slang term for women in English dialects was 'Bird,' likewise the American counterpart to that phrase is 'chick'
End Quote
Thank you for the clarification. ;)
I don't believe GR is interested in me becoming his 'bird' or 'chick'. I've offered, alas, to no avail. :'(
No one will have me since my pix were posted so long ago here on the board...sighs...I must be truly hideous, or a complete a * * in my posts. OR BOTH!!!!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
You have pics? I've not seen them...I'm off the market, but I'd like to see :o;D
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
To see me, you'll have to go to www.match.com, go to Search, then username search - type in cmlr68 to view my picture.
Hurry up and look at it - I'm going to hide my match.com profile again!
cs
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I don't know about anyone else, but I think you're cute :)
Quoting:
To see me, you'll have to go to www.match.com, go to Search, then username search - type in cmlr68 to view my picture.
cs
End Quote
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
And you're by yourself? That's a shame...those guys up there don't know what they're missing out on
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
And you're by yourself? That's a shame...those guys up there don't know what they're missing out on
End Quote
Maybe in Kentucky they prefer girls with no teeth (GWNT) :) She doesn't have a chance with such a lovely smile
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Yeah...them girls up there must have them Summer Teeth
YOu know..summer here and summer there
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Yeah...them girls up there must have them Summer Teeth
YOu know..summer here and summer there
End Quote
Aw man, you're going to hell for that one too :) ;D
Obviously cs isn't one of those girls :)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
From a forwarded e-mail:
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need... = I want...
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with
you within the next 3 mins
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep
person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
... and my own personal addition...
17. Guys, Are Ya With Me? = I'm not getting enough sex
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
hey Ms. Hughes, what happened to #16?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I can't type...I'm laughing too hard
ROFLMAO!!!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
hey Ms. Hughes, what happened to #16?
End Quote
Duh! I'm a girl, I don't deal well with numbers! It was too many for me to count on my fingers.
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Hairspray is going to kill us all for this, you know that, right?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
For what? How did H.S. get this tight-a$$ed rep. anyhow? If I recall, that individual and I were sent to our rooms for overloading the board's censors...
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Right then. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1".... ON PURPOSE!
Please print this out and pass to your partner for a greater understanding:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
End Quote
I know this is probably going to get me into trouble here being that I am a girl, but this always bugged the heck out of me. Aren't there worse things a man could do besides leaving up the toilet seat. Why don't these women learn to look before they back up?
I will now hide from all the things being thrown at me by my fellow females. ;)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I'll protect ya Dag, cuz you're my kind of lady ;)
Quoting:
I know this is probably going to get me into trouble here being that I am a girl, but this always bugged the heck out of me. Aren't there worse things a man could do besides leaving up the toilet seat. Why don't these women learn to look before they back up?
I will now hide from all the things being thrown at me by my fellow females. ;)
End Quote
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I always put it down...my wife...um...has me trained...
What...coming dear...
She's calling me...time for her back rub ;D
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Oh my goodness! I think I'm in love with you GR!
I'm telling you sweetheart - Louisville is beautiful...
End Quote
>:( Hey!! >:(
Back off woman, I saw him first!!!!!! >:( ;) ;D ;D
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
I know this is probably going to get me into trouble here being that I am a girl, but this always bugged the heck out of me. Aren't there worse things a man could do besides leaving up the toilet seat. Why don't these women learn to look before they back up?
I will now hide from all the things being thrown at me by my fellow females. ;)
End Quote
I'm on your side, Dagwood. Between my dad and two brothers, it is imperative to look before I leap.
Er, sit.
And speaking from experience, there ARE worse things a man can do.
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Oh my goodness! I think I'm in love with you GR!
I'm telling you sweetheart - Louisville is beautiful...
End Quote
You have made my day cs!
Oh I bet Louisville is beautiful. But not methinks, as beautiful as you!!
(see, I can be charming when I want too)
GR
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
I'll protect ya Dag, cuz you're my kind of lady ;)
End Quote
My hero :-*
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
You have made my day cs!
Oh I bet Louisville is beautiful. But not methinks, as beautiful as you!!
(see, I can be charming when I want too)
GR
End Quote
:-*
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
:-*
End Quote
Seriously cs, you are a stunner!! A 'Louisville Lovely' I think I'll name you from now on!
Yours Admiringly
GR
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
::)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
::)
End Quote
Don't roll your eyes at me! Do you want your face to stick that way?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Here... 8)
Now you can't see me roll my eyes
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Here... 8)
Now you can't see me roll my eyes
End Quote
Smarta * * ! :P That was a good one though!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I wonder...if Gabble were to ;), would you :-* and then do something to make him go :o but would make all of us go :-[?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
I wonder...if Gabble were to ;), would you :-* and then do something to make him go :o but would make all of us go :-[?End Quote
Since I don't think chivalry is dead, I'll allow Gabble to defend my honor here.
:Pcs
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
And again, I say ::)
LOL...this place is FUN!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
I will now hide from all the things being thrown at me by my fellow females. ;)
End Quote
You won't get in trouble, just the guys. I tried to stay out of this thread, but....speaking of trouble! Yeah, there are bigger gripes than this, nonetheless this is 1 of my pet peeves - and it really applies to everyone who doesn't put them down (includes my mom, sister and everyone who doesn't care)!
OK, 1st off, we don't "need" it down. It has to be up when we use it too! ::)
Here's my #1 reason for putting down all the flaps: I don't want anything falling in there! I don't want anything that's nearby or might have to travel over the toilet to end up in it. Whether those're electrical devices, earrings, clothes, soaps, whatever, I would rather protect them from the bottomless pit!
But I won't throw anything at dagwood if she's standing on the other side of the open toilet. It might land in there instead! ;)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
??? Um...maybe I'm not grasping the logistics of that, but...how can stuff fall in if you're sitting down and covering the hole?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
??? Um...maybe I'm not grasping the logistics of that, but...how can stuff fall in if you're sitting down and covering the hole?
End Quote
Look at it this way: It's an awfully big hole. Sometimes the act of sitting down doesn't finish as soon as we expect it to. Or as dry.
I personally don't care one way or the other, just be consistent. Wet tushies in the middle of the night are guaranteed to wake EVERYBODY up.
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Hell, night time's the worst. We (MEN) don't turn on lights or lift the lid, they just aim in the general vicinity of the toilet, listen for water, and try to center it.
I didn't know that women had so many loose items that could be lost...
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
??? Um...maybe I'm not grasping the logistics of that, but...how can stuff fall in if you're sitting down and covering the hole?
End Quote
I'm not even going to touch this one!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
So, you sit without touching? Is THAT why you're afraid of things falling in? You hover?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
So, you sit without touching? Is THAT why you're afraid of things falling in? You hover?
End Quote
That's not what I meant!
I only "hover" in places like stadiums, airports, and parks.
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Where the hell is Gabble? He started this!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
He's probably laughing too hard to type...he's always starting stuff like this
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Yes, he's mysteriously absent...
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Since I don't think chivalry is dead, I'll allow Gabble to defend my honor here.
:Pcs
End Quote
Gabble! You've left me out in the cold on this one!
Unless you're sending some of the Gambini clan to Florida to teach Syncro a lesson... ;)
Where is a knight in shining armor when you need one? Lester? Are you around? Now HE'S a gentleman!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
They're probably on their way to deal with the "yutes" ;)
Quoting:
Gabble! You've left me out in the cold on this one!
Unless you're sending some of the Gambini clan to Florida to teach Synch a lesson... ;)
End Quote
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
BUMPING so someone can find it!
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
I didn't know we were supposed to be looking for it
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
OK, maybe I'm missing something here, but....let's try again.
Men are accused of leaving seats up.
All I'm saying is I want everything that's hinged DOWN so that going about your various business, various things won't fall in. I like the hole covered, period. Then nothing can get in there when not in use. OK? ???
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Wait wait...I'm not following you here...you want the lid down when we're using it?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Allow me to quote myself....
Quoting:nothing can get in there when not in useEnd Quote
When you're not using it, close the toilet!
Oh BTW, Syncronos - that was a great pix of you, why did you take it down? You looked great! :-* ;D Why not post it on the "current pix"?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
OK...it's up there.
Goodness...I'm going to blush
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
OK, I an going to interrupt this regularly scheduled thread to bring you men a little bit of 411 that you may want to consider:
Please do not gnaw. There are no bones in The Land Down Under*. Good table manners are a neccessity when you eat, and I am just trying to tell you men that the word "eat" is used as a figure of speech, not literally.
Food for thought.
Bon Appetite!
I will now give you back your thread. ;)
*Apologies to my Aussie mates!!! :-*
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
The same could be said for women...
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Hell, night time's the worst. We (MEN) don't turn on lights or lift the lid, they just aim in the general vicinity of the toilet, listen for water, and try to center it.
I didn't know that women had so many loose items that could be lost...
End Quote
You know what would be great Sync? having those stand up toilets for women so they don't have to sit down while peeing....Just a thought ;D
howard :)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
You know what would be great Sync? having those stand up toilets for women so they don't have to sit down while peeing....Just a thought ;D
End Quote
And you know what? Frankly, I don't know why you have to stand up. It risks a god-awful mess anyway (I know, I have to clean my uncle's pee from MY toilet every morning - and previously from my nephews). And guess what? They never made "urinals" in the beginning of private indoor plumbing and they still don't make them for homes. Hell, even outhouses were never "urinal" design. You don't have history or homes to back you up. (Not to mention, why publicly display yourselves; is that an ego thing?) My dad can handle it, why can't the rest of you? ??? ??? ???
Sorry if this seems full of attitude, it's just 1 of my big pet peeves! ::)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
It's not necessary, but it's a lot easier, and a heck of a lot quicker. You never see lines outside the MEN'S bathroom.
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
The same could be said for women...
End Quote
I don't know...I was with a guy once....nevermind, don't want the post deleted. ;)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
I can't type...I'm laughing too hard
ROFLMAO!!!
End Quote
I'm barely writing this because I haven't been on in awhile but...... you just typed ;D
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
And you know what? Frankly, I don't know why you have to stand up. It risks a god-awful mess anyway (I know, I have to clean my uncle's pee from MY toilet every morning - and previously from my nephews). And guess what? They never made "urinals" in the beginning of private indoor plumbing and they still don't make them for homes. Hell, even outhouses were never "urinal" design. You don't have history or homes to back you up. (Not to mention, why publicly display yourselves; is that an ego thing?) My dad can handle it, why can't the rest of you? ??? ??? ???
Sorry if this seems full of attitude, it's just 1 of my big pet peeves! ::)
End Quote
why do guys pee and not wipe? I mean doesn't it drip? :-[
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
rotflmaowepc= rolling on the floor laughing my ass off while eating pancakes
i think you are crazy!
if the women in my family saw what you typed they would blow up!
but i agree on alot of that stuff
ps i don't watch many sports but isn't sport day on sunday?
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
Where is a knight in shining armor when you need one? Lester? Are you around? Now HE'S a gentleman!
End Quote
Yes he is!! More of a gentleman than you will ever know!!! ;)
Subject: Re: Guys', Are ya with me? (you'd better be!!)
Quoting:
why do guys pee and not wipe? I mean doesn't it drip? :-[End Quote
hey,Alicia,don't go there. ;D
I drip,I dry,I flush. nuff' said. :D