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Subject: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 4:44 pm

Do any of these sound familiar, girls?

20 Ways for Women To Tell That They've Had A Little Much To Drink!!

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's @ss and honestly believe I could do it too.

4. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God!  I love this song!"

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.


Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/15/05 at 4:47 pm


Do any of these sound familiar, girls?

20 Ways for Women To Tell That They've Had A Little Much To Drink!!

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's @ss and honestly believe I could do it too.

4. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God!  I love this song!"

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.



here's a drink... bottom's up  ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 4:49 pm

;D ;D

I've actually done some of those. ::)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/15/05 at 4:52 pm


;D ;D

I've actually done some of those. ::)

what ones?
i think i done a few myself  ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 5:19 pm


what ones?
i think i done a few myself  ;D



I guess I have quite a few, but I was a heavy drinker. :P

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's @ss and honestly believe I could do it too.

4. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God!  I love this song!"

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. 

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.



Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Paul on 08/15/05 at 5:21 pm

Well, I can certainly relate to #11 and #14 for starters...!

(And I'm not even a woman!)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 5:28 pm


Well, I can certainly relate to #11 and #14 for starters...!

(And I'm not even a woman!)


;D ;D

Maybe I should change the title to Drunk People. ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/15/05 at 5:40 pm


;D ;D

Maybe I should change the title to Drunk People. ;D

or how to take advantage of Drunk Women   ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Dagwood on 08/15/05 at 7:07 pm

;D Hilarious.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Tam on 08/15/05 at 8:40 pm

I can so relate to this.....
Like you Chrissy - however ashamed I may be, will admit to:

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's @ss and honestly believe I could do it too.

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

Who are your spys and why have they been watching me?? LMAO! ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 8:41 pm


I can so relate to this.....
Like you Chrissy - however ashamed I may be, will admit to:



Who are your spys and why have they been watching me?? LMAO! ;D


That's what I was wondering when I read it! ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: CeramicsFanatic on 08/15/05 at 8:44 pm

I usually get really quiet when I drink a lot...and I fold my arms (or so I've been told).  :D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Billy Florio on 08/15/05 at 9:07 pm




7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God!  I love this song!"





LOL...Ive seen this one in action many times........

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 9:18 pm


I usually get really quiet when I drink a lot...and I fold my arms (or so I've been told).  :D


;D  ;D  So you've been told.


I get rowdy. :P

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: C.NOIZE on 08/15/05 at 9:21 pm


3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's @ss and honestly believe I could do it too.

7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God!  I love this song!"


Well, No. 3 happens quite often with a friend of mine...but, as far as I know, she doesn't drink.

And No. 7 actually happened earlier tonight in band practice.  A fellow trumpeter (male) got really excited and said "I love this song!" in a strangely feminine voice.  But then again, I agreed with him...it is a GREAT song.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/15/05 at 9:25 pm


Well, No. 3 happens quite often with a friend of mine...but, as far as I know, she doesn't drink.

And No. 7 actually happened earlier tonight in band practice.  A fellow trumpeter (male) got really excited and said "I love this song!" in a strangely feminine voice.  But then again, I agreed with him...it is a GREAT song.

was it "in the mood by glenn miller"?  ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: C.NOIZE on 08/15/05 at 9:35 pm


was it "in the mood by glenn miller"?  ;D


No, it was "Quidam" from the French-Canadian circus "Cirque du Soleil."  The song is amazingly pretty (for lack of a better word).

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/15/05 at 9:39 pm


No, it was "Quidam" from the French-Canadian circus "Cirque du Soleil."  The song is amazingly pretty (for lack of a better word).

speed metal... oh yeah  ;D
ok paganini then

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: ADH13 on 08/15/05 at 10:47 pm



at the bar i used to hang out at, me & my female friends used to flash people... if it was one of the male regular's birthdays, about 7 or 8 of us would grab him off of his barstool, drag him in the ladies room, flash him (all at the same time) for about 2 seconds, then run out the door, leaving him in the restroom... :)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/15/05 at 10:50 pm



at the bar i used to hang out at, me & my female friends used to flash people... if it was one of the male regular's birthdays, about 7 or 8 of us would grab him off of his barstool, drag him in the ladies room, flash him (all at the same time) for about 2 seconds, then run out the door, leaving him in the restroom... :)


Lucky guys, huh? :)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Tam on 08/15/05 at 10:56 pm



at the bar i used to hang out at, me & my female friends used to flash people... if it was one of the male regular's birthdays, about 7 or 8 of us would grab him off of his barstool, drag him in the ladies room, flash him (all at the same time) for about 2 seconds, then run out the door, leaving him in the restroom... :)

Who knew you were a wild child?? Mahaha! ;D ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: ADH13 on 08/15/05 at 11:00 pm


Who knew you were a wild child?? Mahaha! ;D ;D


i'm not really WILD...  i just don't have a big issue with breasts... i'd walk around topless if it weren't illegal...  bottomless, no.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Tam on 08/15/05 at 11:05 pm


i'm not really WILD...  i just don't have a big issue with breasts... i'd walk around topless if it weren't illegal...  bottomless, no.

;D It's legal in Canada!  ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: ADH13 on 08/15/05 at 11:13 pm


;D It's legal in Canada!  ;D


wow, lucky maria! and whitewolf and mare too!

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/15/05 at 11:15 pm


wow, lucky maria! and whitewolf and mare too!

whitewolf will be a tanned wolf   ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/15/05 at 11:55 pm

I am guilty of #7  #12  and #17.  When I was younger I used to flash a bit too  :o

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: karen on 08/16/05 at 4:11 am


1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God!  I love this song!"

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.




I don't have to be drunk to do these things  :-


3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's @ss and honestly believe I could do it too.

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.




I've done these whilst under the influence.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Paul on 08/16/05 at 4:18 am


When I was younger I used to flash a bit too  :o


Get your clothes back on, woman!

Also, when you're half-cut, why does a fat-infested lump of 'dodgy' meat plonked within a piece of stale bread (i.e., a doner kebab) suddenly become a culinary delight?

I can't believe I used to wolf these things down when plastered!

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: goodsin on 08/16/05 at 6:35 am


Get your clothes back on, woman!

Also, when you're half-cut, why does a fat-infested lump of 'dodgy' meat plonked within a piece of stale bread (i.e., a doner kebab) suddenly become a culinary delight?

I can't believe I used to wolf these things down when plastered!

Get thee to a nunnery, drunken harlots!  ;D

Hey Paul, you're obviously in the UK, as I'm not sure many other places have the Doner thing. If I'm having a kebab of a late night, the only time I have a doner rather than a shish or kofte is if I can't be bothered to wait! I've actually got a kebab van located about half a mile from my house- it's not unknown for my housemates to pick up women there on the way home from nightclubs. Pull Donna whilst eating a doner!

I'd admit to doing some of the things listed, when drunk. Whenever I see drunk girls in town they tend to be staggering, shouting, vomiting or crying- none of which seem to be a good outcome to an evening. It is noticeable that when I go out with my colleagues, the blokes tend to just drink at a steady pace, whereas it's more often the ladies whom engage in 'binge drinking', i.e. ramming it down their faces like there's no tomorrow. We currently have a real problem in the UK with alcohol-related health & violence issues, and soon they're introducing 24-hour drinking- methinks mayhem is about to break out. "I predict a riot!"

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: karen on 08/16/05 at 6:47 am


We currently have a real problem in the UK with alcohol-related health & violence issues, and soon they're introducing 24-hour drinking- methinks mayhem is about to break out. "I predict a riot!"


I think most Brits are of the wrong mentality to have 24 hour opening.  The government has said before it wants to have a 'cafe culture' similar to on mainland Europe but too many people in this country think the aim is to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible.  It'll never work

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Paul on 08/16/05 at 6:49 am


Whenever I see drunk girls in town they tend to be staggering, shouting, vomiting or crying- none of which seem to be a good outcome to an evening. It is noticeable that when I go out with my colleagues, the blokes tend to just drink at a steady pace, whereas it's more often the ladies whom engage in 'binge drinking', i.e. ramming it down their faces like there's no tomorrow. We currently have a real problem in the UK with alcohol-related health & violence issues, and soon they're introducing 24-hour drinking- methinks mayhem is about to break out. "I predict a riot!"


That's the main reason I don't go to the nearest town centre at the weekends...

I'm just thankful I managed to get it 'out of my system' with a liver still intact...! (The drinking, not the kebab!)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jiminy on 08/16/05 at 6:55 am


Get thee to a nunnery, drunken harlots!  ;D

Hey Paul, you're obviously in the UK, as I'm not sure many other places have the Doner thing. If I'm having a kebab of a late night, the only time I have a doner rather than a shish or kofte is if I can't be bothered to wait! I've actually got a kebab van located about half a mile from my house- it's not unknown for my housemates to pick up women there on the way home from nightclubs. Pull Donna whilst eating a doner!

I'd admit to doing some of the things listed, when drunk. Whenever I see drunk girls in town they tend to be staggering, shouting, vomiting or crying- none of which seem to be a good outcome to an evening. It is noticeable that when I go out with my colleagues, the blokes tend to just drink at a steady pace, whereas it's more often the ladies whom engage in 'binge drinking', i.e. ramming it down their faces like there's no tomorrow. We currently have a real problem in the UK with alcohol-related health & violence issues, and soon they're introducing 24-hour drinking- methinks mayhem is about to break out. "I predict a riot!"

now tell us about ireland  :D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 7:38 am


Get your clothes back on, woman!

Also, when you're half-cut, why does a fat-infested lump of 'dodgy' meat plonked within a piece of stale bread (i.e., a doner kebab) suddenly become a culinary delight?

I can't believe I used to wolf these things down when plastered!


God I wouldn't subject anyone to that these days.  :o

When I used to get p!ssed I'd go for either hot dogs or pizza.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Paul on 08/16/05 at 7:40 am


God I wouldn't subject anyone to that these days.  :o

When I used to get p!ssed I'd go for either hot dogs or pizza.


Hot dogs and pizza? Bloody luxury, Janine!

When I were a lad, kebab shops were the only places that used to have the guts to stay open in the small hours...

...and they used to use some of the guts in the kebabs too!

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 7:49 am


Hot dogs and pizza? Bloody luxury, Janine!

When I were a lad, kebab shops were the only places that used to have the guts to stay open in the small hours...

...and they used to use some of the guts in the kebabs too!


Hahaha .... are kebabs the same as they are here ..... sort of odd looking meat (they say it predominantly lamb  ???) wrapped in pita bread with a bit of hommus and salad?  Or are we talking more shish (s/p) kebab .... sort of odd looking meat threaded onto a skewer?  ... which no inebriated man or woman should be in charge of!!  :D  The hot dogs were purchased from a caravan outside the pub or if you were up to it you'd stagger down to the Valley to a little Italian restaurant that sold good cheap pizza. :o

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: karen on 08/16/05 at 7:50 am

Doner kebabs are like the first one you described jaytee.  slices of meat (possibly lamb) in an opened pitta bread with salad and sauce

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 7:59 am


Doner kebabs are like the first one you described jaytee.  slices of meat (possibly lamb) in an opened pitta bread with salad and sauce


Okay ... I'm with you ... same as here!  :)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Paul on 08/16/05 at 8:01 am


Hahaha .... are kebabs the same as they are here ..... sort of odd looking meat (they say it predominantly lamb  ???) wrapped in pita bread with a bit of hommus and salad?   Or are we talking more shish (s/p) kebab .... sort of odd looking meat threaded onto a skewer?  ... which no inebriated man or woman should be in charge of!!  :D   The hot dogs were purchased from a caravan outside the pub or if you were up to it you'd stagger down to the Valley to a little Italian restaurant that sold good cheap pizza. :o


The first type ('Doners', as karen rightly says) are the ones to avoid...to paraphrase karen, they are 'slices of meat (possibly roadkill, or the local moggy population) in an opened pitta bread with salad and sauce...'

Funny how when people drunkenly ask for 'em with 'everyfink on it mate!', they end up chucking most of the salad, etc. onto the pavement!

'Shish' kebabs I can still actually eat, but only seldomly...

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: karen on 08/16/05 at 8:05 am

our butcher makes nice shish kebabs but I've never tried eating one whilst drunk

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/16/05 at 8:06 am


whitewolf will be a tanned wolf   ;D


:P

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/16/05 at 8:18 am

I remember being really loaded one night.  My friend and I decided that we needed to eat at 2:00 a.m., so we walked about 1/2 mile to the Waffle House.  I ordered a patty melt and began to dredge it through a pile of ketchup before each bite.  YUCK!  Imagine a greasy ole patty melt soaked in ketchup. :P  I must have thought it was delicious though because I slopped it down. ::)

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 10:01 am


The first type ('Doners', as karen rightly says) are the ones to avoid...to paraphrase karen, they are 'slices of meat (possibly roadkill, or the local moggy population) in an opened pitta bread with salad and sauce...'

Funny how when people drunkenly ask for 'em with 'everyfink on it mate!', they end up chucking most of the salad, etc. onto the pavement!

'Shish' kebabs I can still actually eat, but only seldomly...




LOL ..  ;D  you've just reminded me of "The Roadkill Cafe" (which I have a photograph of) near Proston in Queensland.  Usually when I eat a kebab whilst under the influence, the "everyfink on it" ends up down my front!!  :P

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 10:02 am


our butcher makes nice shish kebabs but I've never tried eating one whilst drunk


No ... more than likely you'd poke your eye out!  ;) :o

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: whitewolf on 08/16/05 at 10:04 am


whitewolf will be a tanned wolf   ;D


ummm...no-I don't even like wearing a bathing suit-it shows too much

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 10:04 am


I remember being really loaded one night.  My friend and I decided that we needed to eat at 2:00 a.m., so we walked about 1/2 mile to the Waffle House.  I ordered a patty melt and began to dredge it through a pile of ketchup before each bite.  YUCK!  Imagine a greasy ole patty melt soaked in ketchup. :P  I must have thought it was delicious though because I slopped it down. ::)


It's amazing what you think tastes "bloody fantastic" whilst under the influence  :P ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/16/05 at 10:48 am


No ... more than likely you'd poke your eye out!  ;) :o


This reminds me of those German beer steins with the pointed lids.  What the F were they thinking when they invented this?

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: karen on 08/16/05 at 10:51 am

The lid stops you 'friend' throwing an empty crisp packet in your pint

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jackas on 08/16/05 at 10:53 am


The lid stops you 'friend' throwing an empty crisp packet in your pint


;D ;D

I'd rather have a crisp packet in my beer than lose an eye. :P ;D

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 11:24 pm


The lid stops you 'friend' throwing an empty crisp packet in your pint


Or their cigarette butt!!  :P

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Alchoholica on 08/16/05 at 11:30 pm


The first type ('Doners', as karen rightly says) are the ones to avoid...to paraphrase karen, they are 'slices of meat (possibly roadkill, or the local moggy population) in an opened pitta bread with salad and sauce...'


Lovely they are, seriously! I've managed them whilst sober as well.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: jaytee on 08/16/05 at 11:37 pm


Lovely they are, seriously! I've managed them whilst sober as well.


I'm a bit partial to them myself!  The best doner kebab I've ever eaten was purchased at the Queen Victoria Markets in Melbourne.  It's my yardstick for all other doner kebabs.

Subject: Re: Drunk Women

Written By: Alchoholica on 08/16/05 at 11:42 pm


I'm a bit partial to them myself!  The best doner kebab I've ever eaten was purchased at the Queen Victoria Markets in Melbourne.  It's my yardstick for all other doner kebabs.


I wouldn't expect any less of ye.

I had one at the imginativley named Ayelstone Kebab Shop which ranked as my first 10 out of 10 Kebab. The Eyers Monsell chippy (somewhat rough estate) does good un's as well although you take your life in your hands going up there  ;D

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