I thought it was a bit elitist to only discuss when we pee, we're leaving out the most important function of the day, yes, that's right, I made a thread about taking a dump.

(You expected more of me?)

I took a great one this afternoon, I managed to read almost a full chapter of my book!  :o

I never spend more time in the can than I have to.  It's get in, log off, and get out :D

Average bathroom visit: 3 minutes.


Crazy Yenta Broad said that explains the skidmarks.  :D

Crazy Yenta Broad said that explains the skidmarks.  :D


My time is valuable and I have plenty of underpants :P

did you know that in jail, you have to take a crap in front of everyone because there is no door or stall, it's just right there in the cell (at least that's what I heard)  ::)

I just had a crap a little while ago.  It was quite stinky.  Could be from the Chunky Chili i had for supper ;D

Crazy Yenta Broad said that explains the skidmarks.   :D


LMFAO! ;D

My son crapped in the tub earlier. That was so not fun to clean up.

LMFAO

This is great. I almost pooped my pants. :o

[quote author=Crazy_Yenta_ Broad link=topic=22702.msg1039311#msg1039311 date=1157080581
My son crapped in the tub earlier. That was so not fun to clean up.


Thanks.  Reason #3,482,836 why I have no kids, and Dobbs willing, never will.

Thanks.  Reason #3,482,836 why I have no kids, and Dobbs willing, never will.


It's not too bad. He's almost 19 months old and this is the first time ever that he has done that. I mean, usually he just lets one rip in the tub, but last night, some friends followed. ;D

It's not too bad. He's almost 19 months old and this is the first time ever that he has done that. I mean, usually he just lets one rip in the tub, but last night, some friends followed. ;D


My daughter did that once as well. The look on her face when it shot right out....made me laugh so hard.  ;D But cleaning the crap out was no fun. ::)

I never spend more time in the can than I have to.  It's get in, log off, and get out :D


Surely you mean 'log out'... ;)

My daughter did that once as well. The look on her face when it shot right out....made me laugh so hard.  ;D But cleaning the crap out was no fun. ::)


Both of my kids did that when they were real little... :P 

I thought it was a bit elitist to only discuss when we pee, we're leaving out the most important function of the day, yes, that's right, I made a thread about taking a dump.

I had a sort of queasy feeling in the middle of my stomach and I thought I had to go the bathroom.Must've been from The Chinese Food I had for lunch. :P

I just had a crap a little while ago.  It was quite stinky.  Could be from the Chunky Chili i had for supper ;D


Did you forget to spray?

Ah, did you have "oo flung dung", Howard?

Ah, did you have "oo flung dung", Howard?


What's a flung dung?

I didn't particularily want to post in this thread, but saw this news article and just HAD to post it:

"Tomkitten's" 'first poop' goes on display in New York
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060830/od_afp/afpentertainmentusarts

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060830/photos_od_afp/5d108b749e7456c3fb19b6168841dbe5
This photo released by the Capla Kesting Gallery(CKG) shows a sculpture purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri Cruise's first bowel movement. The work by controversial artist Daniel Edwards, is to be auctioned off for charity on eBay next month.(AFP/CKG-HO)

Wed Aug 30, 5:24 PM ET

NEW YORK (AFP) - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show their baby daughter off in public, but eager fans were given an unusual preview with the chance to see a bronze cast depicting her first solid stool.
ADVERTISEMENT

The scatological sculpture -- more doodoo than Dada -- is purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri's first bowel movement and will be shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, New York, before being auctioned off for charity.

The artist behind the work, Daniel Edwards, previously courted controversy with a life-size nude sculpture of pop star Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. That work was shown at the same gallery in April.

"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family," gallery director David Kesting said, adding that he hoped the work would attract bids of up to 25 or 30,000 dollars.

The sculpture, which sits on a wooden mounting with a glass casing, is to be sold on eBay next month with proceeds from the sale going to infant health charity March Of Dimes.

As of Wednesday it had attracted a top bid of 41 dollars.

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise and Holmes announced Suri's birth in April. The entertainment press, which dubbed the pair "TomKat," has shown a seemingly insatiable appetite for news of the pair and their "TomKitten."

A spokeman for the couple was not immediately available Wednesday to comment on the sculpture.

Light a match.

What kind of screwball parents would save their baby's crap?  Baby crap is like the most disgusting thing in the world, excluding my own crap.  Which is why I want to get it out of my body in the first place.

What's a flung dung?

Something that looks like dung, flung on to a plate, which has the same appearance & effect once "digested"! Jeez, this really is a depraved thread- talking of which, what happened to Nasty Penguins?

What kind of screwball parents would save their baby's crap?  Baby crap is like the most disgusting thing in the world, excluding my own crap.  Which is why I want to get it out of my body in the first place.


So why bronze a piece of doody? ;D  :P

Something that looks like dung, flung on to a plate, which has the same appearance & effect once "digested"! Jeez, this really is a depraved thread- talking of which, what happened to Nasty Penguins?


Howard probably had the Pu Pu Platter.

So why bronze a piece of doody? ;D  :P


Perhaps they wanted to ward off the evil Xenu...

Howard probably had the Pu Pu Platter.



with real PooPoo? ;D

As of Wednesday it had attracted a top bid of 41 dollars.


When asked what he was bidding on, the user replied, "Some crap."

When asked what he was bidding on, the user replied, "Some crap."



Or I can't take this crap anymore.  ;D

OR!  I can't (*#&$ing believe I just paid $41 for this crap!  :D

So why bronze a piece of doody? ;D  :P


Little Suri has to earn her keep now that Daddy's production studio isn't part of Paramount anymore.
SOMEBODY has to pay for those Pampers, ya know!

Little Suri has to earn her keep now that Daddy's production studio isn't part of Paramount anymore.
SOMEBODY has to pay for those Pampers, ya know!

Good to see respect for the midget Scientologist is alive & well. Er, won't he sue us for these comments?

Little Suri has to earn her keep now that Daddy's production studio isn't part of Paramount anymore.
SOMEBODY has to pay for those Pampers, ya know!



Well,they didn't have to go gold. ::)

Good to see respect for the midget Scientologist is alive & well. Er, won't he sue us for these comments?


I don't own anything worth sueing me for.  Yeah, I suppose that was a cheap shot on my part, why pick on da baby?  I'm sure she is gonna be beautiful, she has beautiful parents.

That story was a load of crap! ::)

Glad this topic was so well recepeted.

As it were...


I took a great one before dinner, about 5 hours ago, steamy and hot, it made me feel good... I LIKE!!  ;D

Glad this topic was so well recepeted.

As it were...


I took a great one before dinner, about 5 hours ago, steamy and hot, it made me feel good... I LIKE!!  ;D
Is the bathroom still under quarrantine?  :o

Is the bathroom still under quarrantine?  :o


Nah, I removed the corpse.

Did you forget to spray?


Oh I sprayed all right, but not that kind of spray ;D

I bought my husband one of those large chocolate chip cookie cakes at the store the other night. It was decorated like "Cookie Monster" with lots of blue icing and a big black mouth smile.

It has so much food coloring that it made us poop green.

I bought my husband one of those large chocolate chip cookie cakes at the store the other night. It was decorated like "Cookie Monster" with lots of blue icing and a big black mouth smile.

It has so much food coloring that it made us poop green.


That's hot.  Green poop is the sh*t.

I don't own anything worth sueing me for.  Yeah, I suppose that was a cheap shot on my part, why pick on da baby?  I'm sure she is gonna be beautiful, she has beautiful parents.



That baby doesn't have beautiful parents.  She has a closeted homosexual fruitcake for a father and a brainwashed zombie for a mother.  IF there is a baby, that kid is going to need boatloads of therapy to undo the Scientology brainwashing she'll endure. 

About a month ago, I was in a public bathroom taking a crap and this guy comes in to wash his hands when suddenly his cellphone rings.  So here he is talking away while I am making loud poop sounds that the caller on the opposite end could hear.  I know this because the guy says "Oh, I'm in a bathroom and some guy is taking a dump".  What an ass!  >:(

About a month ago, I was in a public bathroom taking a crap and this guy comes in to wash his hands when suddenly his cellphone rings.  So here he is talking away while I am making loud poop sounds that the caller on the opposite end could hear.  I know this because the guy says "Oh, I'm in a bathroom and some guy is taking a dump".  What an ass!  >:(



That's when I would have said, "That's right I am.....because this is a bathroom.  You take dumps in a bathroom.  Why are you on the $%#@$% phone in a bathroom?!"

That baby doesn't have beautiful parents.  She has a closeted homosexual fruitcake for a father and a brainwashed zombie for a mother.  IF there is a baby, that kid is going to need boatloads of therapy to undo the Scientology brainwashing she'll endure. 


Well, ascetically pleasing then,  ::) 

Regardless of their personalities and/or personal convictions, they are both good looking.

That's when I would have said, "That's right I am.....because this is a bathroom.  You take dumps in a bathroom.  Why are you on the $%#@$% phone in a bathroom?!"


After I left the stall, the guy was still in the bathroom on the phone, so you know what I did?  I looked in his direction, yelled his name (when he answered his phone, he said his name), and then I screamed "STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS YOU SICKO".  ;D

I should have just grabbed the guy's phone and broke it against the wall

Well, ascetically pleasing then,  ::) 

Regardless of their personalities and/or personal convictions, they are both good looking.



Katie was pretty until she hooked up with Crazy Cruise.  I never found him physically appealing at all.  His behavior recently has made him even less appealing to me.

After I left the stall, the guy was still in the bathroom on the phone, so you know what I did?  I looked in his direction, yelled his name (when he answered his phone, he said his name), and then I screamed "STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS YOU SICKO".  ;D

I should have just grabbed the guy's phone and broke it against the wall




People who use the phone in a public restroom....or any restroom for that matter, deserve to have their heads shoved in the toilet, the toilet flushed and the phone shoved up their butts.

Well, ascetically pleasing then,  ::) 

Regardless of their personalities and/or personal convictions, they are both good looking.


I don't think either of them are good looking. She looks especially strange to me.

But that is all a personal opinion, of course.

I don't find many celebrities to be good looking. I often wonder what people are thinking! Some of them are hideous!

when company comes over, Lady Di lights a scented candle for the bathroom and sometimes Julie lights incense. but just in case, there is a can of Glade. Taking a dump in a bathroom with a lit scented candle is kinda, well it's kinda nice.  8)

when company comes over, Lady Di lights a scented candle for the bathroom and sometimes Julie lights incense. but just in case, there is a can of Glade. Taking a dump in a bathroom with a lit scented candle is kinda, well it's kinda nice.  8)



Makes you feel like you're at a spa.....or at the very least not in your house. 

Makes you feel like you're at a spa.....or at the very least not in your house. 
yeah, that's sort of what it's like. I feel like lighting one of those candles now.  ;D

yeah, that's sort of what it's like. I feel like lighting one of those candles now.  ;D


Watch where and when you light it, the house might explode :D

when company comes over, Lady Di lights a scented candle for the bathroom and sometimes Julie lights incense. but just in case, there is a can of Glade. Taking a dump in a bathroom with a lit scented candle is kinda, well it's kinda nice.  8)


Scented candles in the bathroom....nice idea.  I have them everywhere else.  Today I will buy one for the bathroom.

Now, I have teenaged boys.  They have their own bathroom downstairs.  Thank goodness. 
Yesterday I came home from work and their friends were over and the whole house smelled like cologne.  I called my son upstairs and said, "Why does this whole house smell like cologne; it's awful."  And he said, "Well, Joe used the bathroom and, believe me, the cologne smell is better!"  ;D

I'm buying incense for the downstairs bathroom for sure!

Three today, must be a record.

Scented candles in the bathroom....nice idea.  I have them everywhere else.  Today I will buy one for the bathroom.

Now, I have teenaged boys.  They have their own bathroom downstairs.  Thank goodness. 
Yesterday I came home from work and their friends were over and the whole house smelled like cologne.  I called my son upstairs and said, "Why does this whole house smell like cologne; it's awful."  And he said, "Well, Joe used the bathroom and, believe me, the cologne smell is better!"  ;D

I'm buying incense for the downstairs bathroom for sure!
I know that cologne smell as I used to give 2 of Julie's classmates ride to school and her and I would talk about the "reek".  the scented candle & incense is a great idea.


Three today, must be a record.
3? man, you hold the title of BM champion  ;D

Three today, must be a record.
Damn, what did you eat?!?  :o

Scented candles in the bathroom....nice idea.  I have them everywhere else. 


I dunno about those pine-scent candles and deodorizers.

The bathroom usually then smells like somebody crapped a pine tree.  :o

I dunno about those pine-scent candles and deodorizers.

The bathroom usually then smells like somebody crapped a pine tree.   :o


Yeah.  I don't like the pine myself.  Maybe cinnamon.

  What an ass!  >:(


Whistle, are you referring to the guy talking on his cell phone?  Or are you in awe of your ass that has a voice that carries well?

;)

Yeah.  I don't like the pine myself.  Maybe cinnamon.


But then it will just smell like somebody crapped a Cinnabon.

Well... OK.  That would kinda smell pretty good.  :P

Whistle, are you referring to the guy talking on his cell phone?  Or are you in awe of your ass that has a voice that carries well?

;)


http://spiffy-entertainment.com/forums2/images/smiles/uglyhammer_2.gif

But then it will just smell like somebody crapped a Cinnabon.

;D  I can't believe I'm having this conversation.  ;D

But then it will just smell like somebody crapped a Cinnabon.

Well... OK.  That would kinda smell pretty good.  :P



I'd rather have my bathroom smell like cinnamon than someone's bowel movement.

Three today, must be a record.


Nice.  Glad to know you have high standards ;)

That's hot.  Green poop is the sh*t.


Grape Kool-Aid™ makes it happen.

Damn, what did you eat?!?  :o


...and a fourth before I went to sleep.

I'm not sure, but whatever it was.. it was hot and it didn't wanna stay in me.

I'd rather have my bathroom smell like cinnamon than someone's bowel movement.


You do have a point there.  ;)

My little Amlette and myself crapped just now.  It was most divine.

I'd rather have my bathroom smell like cinnamon than someone's bowel movement.


Then you'd be turned off Cinnamon ;D

YES!! I JUST HAD A ONE-WIPER!!!

Which for me is a sure-fire sign that I'm going to have a great day.  ;D

YES!! I JUST HAD A ONE-WIPER!!!

Which for me is a sure-fire sign that I'm going to have a great day.  ;D


1 or 2 Ply? ;D

1 or 2 Ply? ;D
Charmin 2-ply.

Life's too short to buy cheap toilet paper. I hate staying at my brother's house, he can be a real tightwad and he always buys the cheapest buttwipe he can get, which to me feels like 80-grit sandpaper.

Charmin 2-ply.

Life's too short to buy cheap toilet paper. I hate staying at my brother's house, he can be a real tightwad and he always buys the cheapest buttwipe he can get, which to me feels like 80-grit sandpaper.


Couldn't agree more Al. I like to feel as if I'm rubbing my ass with silk.

Couldn't agree more Al. I like to feel as if I'm rubbing my ass with silk.


Hmmm... Tell you what Davey.  If I ever win the Lotto then I will send you several rolls of pure silk, perforated, of course.  ;)

I hate when I'm on the toilet and nothing comes out.It must be the ghost sh!t. ;D

Hmmm... Tell you what Davey.  If I ever win the Lotto then I will send you several rolls of pure silk, perforated, of course.  ;)


You're a good man.

YES!! I JUST HAD A ONE-WIPER!!!

Which for me is a sure-fire sign that I'm going to have a great day.  ;D
well, if there's a sign you're about to have a exceptionally good day, that's probably it  ;D 


**question:  How does a blind person know when they're done wiping?

I didn't crap all day

I didn't crap all day


A sure sign that you're stressed out, Howard....and not eating enough veggies. :-\\

Right now, I feel okay. I've already met my daily quota.  ;)

^ Girls don't crap!  They magically transport the crap from their bodies into the toilet!

:D

(That was from a humor magazine on campus back when I was a younger lad...)

I wish I could take one. I hurt so bad right now  :\'(

^ More fiber and water for you!

^ Girls don't crap!  They magically transport the crap from their bodies into the toilet!

:D

(That was from a humor magazine on campus back when I was a younger lad...)


It took me so long to work it out.

See, I never noticed them ever taking craps either.. then I realized. Unlike us guys, who have the common courtesy to announce to the room (or in my case, once make a call to the west coast) "I'm gonna go drop a load." They quietly sneak off and then leave it for some poor unsuspecting fool to wander in and smell the leftover evilness that spewed from their fowl excretory tracts.

Why is it when I see this thread, I feel like listening to the 1983 hit "Big Log" by Robert Plant? ;D

Why is it when I see this thread, I feel like listening to the 1983 hit "Big Log" by Robert Plant? ;D


I think of "Carry That Weight" by The Beatles  :P

I wish I could take one. I hurt so bad right now  :\'(


Maybe it's time for the Big E ? ???

I wish I could take one. I hurt so bad right now  :\'(



Maybe it's time for the Big E ? ???

a big bowl of cereal would do the trick http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xd8EAVFgEsADdujzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12484pc53/EXP=1158046204/**http%3a//www.bamboozle.ca/wp-content/ColonBlow.jpg

or how about a nice cookie?

http://lisalynnfitness.com/prodspics/bowel_buddy.jpg

A good gag would be to serve some of these cookies at a party.  Then when people say "Your party is tha sh!t", they ain't sh!ttin' ya ;D

                          http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x_oFQVF0BcACoKjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=127ifftll/EXP=1158047592/**http%3a//www.lsall.com/forums/images/smilies/dump.gif

http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif

a big bowl of cereal would do the trick http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xd8EAVFgEsADdujzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12484pc53/EXP=1158046204/**http%3a//www.bamboozle.ca/wp-content/ColonBlow.jpg



That reminds me.... when I was married, I once bought a box of 100% bran to sprinkle on my yogurt for breakfast (just to keep those pipes clean you know).  A couple of days later my hubby says, "Gosh, I don't know what's wrong, my stomach's going crazy and I've been in the bathroom five times already!"  I asked what he'd eaten and he said he had some cereal the night before.  "Uh, how much of that did you eat?" I asked.  Two full bowls, he said, it was good.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into!  ;D

That reminds me.... when I was married, I once bought a box of 100% bran to sprinkle on my yogurt for breakfast (just to keep those pipes clean you know).  A couple of days later my hubby says, "Gosh, I don't know what's wrong, my stomach's going crazy and I've been in the bathroom five times already!"   I asked what he'd eaten and he said he had some cereal the night before.  "Uh, how much of that did you eat?" I asked.  Two full bowls, he said, it was good.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into!  ;D

Ahhhhh!!!!!! I remember when that happened..you emailed me right away about it.
hysterical.

A sure sign that you're stressed out, Howard....and not eating enough veggies. :-\\



I think it might be or my stomach's acting up :o  :P

a big bowl of cereal would do the trick http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xd8EAVFgEsADdujzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12484pc53/EXP=1158046204/**http%3a//www.bamboozle.ca/wp-content/ColonBlow.jpg


Heh heh...  There is actually a www.colonblow.com web site out there that sells various colon blow products.

I also happened across http://www.hotsauceworld.com/colblowar.html that sells Colon Blow Hot Sauce that is touted as "A Red Habanero Enema... comes out hotter than it went in!"

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/hotsauceworld_1909_47493382

Ages ago!

That reminds me.... when I was married, I once bought a box of 100% bran to sprinkle on my yogurt for breakfast (just to keep those pipes clean you know).  A couple of days later my hubby says, "Gosh, I don't know what's wrong, my stomach's going crazy and I've been in the bathroom five times already!"   I asked what he'd eaten and he said he had some cereal the night before.  "Uh, how much of that did you eat?" I asked.  Two full bowls, he said, it was good.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into!  ;D
Is there such a thing as too much fiber? I think the answer is YES  ;D


Ahhhhh!!!!!! I remember when that happened..you emailed me right away about it.
hysterical.

ok, you two are not supposed to have that kind of fun & joy at hubbys moment of weakness, dang
give the man some privacy  :-
Heh heh...  There is actually a www.colonblow.com web site out there that sells various colon blow products.

I also happened across http://www.hotsauceworld.com/colblowar.html that sells Colon Blow Hot Sauce that is touted as "A Red Habanero Enema... comes out hotter than it went in!"

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/hotsauceworld_1909_47493382
the red hot enema, I mean, who in the hell wants one of those. I like hot sauce but not hot enough to scorch my ass with 2nd degree burns  :o 

the red hot enema, I mean, who in the hell wants one of those. I like hot sauce but not hot enough to scorch my ass with 2nd degree burns  :o 



No pain, no gain.  ;)