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Subject: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 08/31/06 at 6:20 pm

I thought it was a bit elitist to only discuss when we pee, we're leaving out the most important function of the day, yes, that's right, I made a thread about taking a dump.

(You expected more of me?)

I took a great one this afternoon, I managed to read almost a full chapter of my book!  :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: DJ Midas on 08/31/06 at 7:56 pm


I never spend more time in the can than I have to.  It's get in, log off, and get out :D

Average bathroom visit: 3 minutes.


Crazy Yenta Broad said that explains the skidmarks.  :D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 08/31/06 at 7:58 pm


Crazy Yenta Broad said that explains the skidmarks.  :D


My time is valuable and I have plenty of underpants :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 08/31/06 at 8:26 pm

did you know that in jail, you have to take a crap in front of everyone because there is no door or stall, it's just right there in the cell (at least that's what I heard)  ::)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 08/31/06 at 8:57 pm

I just had a crap a little while ago.  It was quite stinky.  Could be from the Chunky Chili i had for supper ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Jessica on 08/31/06 at 10:16 pm


Crazy Yenta Broad said that explains the skidmarks.   :D


LMFAO! ;D

My son crapped in the tub earlier. That was so not fun to clean up.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Southern Image on 08/31/06 at 10:16 pm

LMFAO

This is great. I almost pooped my pants. :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Foo Bar on 08/31/06 at 10:24 pm

[quote author=Crazy_Yenta_ Broad link=topic=22702.msg1039311#msg1039311 date=1157080581
My son crapped in the tub earlier. That was so not fun to clean up.


Thanks.  Reason #3,482,836 why I have no kids, and Dobbs willing, never will.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Jessica on 09/01/06 at 10:02 am


Thanks.  Reason #3,482,836 why I have no kids, and Dobbs willing, never will.


It's not too bad. He's almost 19 months old and this is the first time ever that he has done that. I mean, usually he just lets one rip in the tub, but last night, some friends followed. ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Southern Image on 09/01/06 at 10:25 am


It's not too bad. He's almost 19 months old and this is the first time ever that he has done that. I mean, usually he just lets one rip in the tub, but last night, some friends followed. ;D


My daughter did that once as well. The look on her face when it shot right out....made me laugh so hard.  ;D But cleaning the crap out was no fun. ::)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Paul on 09/01/06 at 10:49 am


I never spend more time in the can than I have to.  It's get in, log off, and get out :D


Surely you mean 'log out'... ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeramicsFanatic on 09/01/06 at 11:30 am


My daughter did that once as well. The look on her face when it shot right out....made me laugh so hard.  ;D But cleaning the crap out was no fun. ::)


Both of my kids did that when they were real little... :P 

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: AL-B Mk. III on 09/01/06 at 2:25 pm


I thought it was a bit elitist to only discuss when we pee, we're leaving out the most important function of the day, yes, that's right, I made a thread about taking a dump.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 2:31 pm

I had a sort of queasy feeling in the middle of my stomach and I thought I had to go the bathroom.Must've been from The Chinese Food I had for lunch. :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 2:32 pm


I just had a crap a little while ago.  It was quite stinky.  Could be from the Chunky Chili i had for supper ;D


Did you forget to spray?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: goodsin2 on 09/01/06 at 2:36 pm

Ah, did you have "oo flung dung", Howard?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 2:37 pm


Ah, did you have "oo flung dung", Howard?


What's a flung dung?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 09/01/06 at 2:43 pm

I didn't particularily want to post in this thread, but saw this news article and just HAD to post it:

"Tomkitten's" 'first poop' goes on display in New York
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060830/od_afp/afpentertainmentusarts

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060830/photos_od_afp/5d108b749e7456c3fb19b6168841dbe5
This photo released by the Capla Kesting Gallery(CKG) shows a sculpture purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri Cruise's first bowel movement. The work by controversial artist Daniel Edwards, is to be auctioned off for charity on eBay next month.(AFP/CKG-HO)

Wed Aug 30, 5:24 PM ET

NEW YORK (AFP) - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show their baby daughter off in public, but eager fans were given an unusual preview with the chance to see a bronze cast depicting her first solid stool.
ADVERTISEMENT

The scatological sculpture -- more doodoo than Dada -- is purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri's first bowel movement and will be shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, New York, before being auctioned off for charity.

The artist behind the work, Daniel Edwards, previously courted controversy with a life-size nude sculpture of pop star Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. That work was shown at the same gallery in April.

"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family," gallery director David Kesting said, adding that he hoped the work would attract bids of up to 25 or 30,000 dollars.

The sculpture, which sits on a wooden mounting with a glass casing, is to be sold on eBay next month with proceeds from the sale going to infant health charity March Of Dimes.

As of Wednesday it had attracted a top bid of 41 dollars.

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise and Holmes announced Suri's birth in April. The entertainment press, which dubbed the pair "TomKat," has shown a seemingly insatiable appetite for news of the pair and their "TomKitten."

A spokeman for the couple was not immediately available Wednesday to comment on the sculpture.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: deadrockstar on 09/01/06 at 2:46 pm

Light a match.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/01/06 at 2:47 pm

What kind of screwball parents would save their baby's crap?  Baby crap is like the most disgusting thing in the world, excluding my own crap.  Which is why I want to get it out of my body in the first place.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: goodsin2 on 09/01/06 at 2:48 pm


What's a flung dung?

Something that looks like dung, flung on to a plate, which has the same appearance & effect once "digested"! Jeez, this really is a depraved thread- talking of which, what happened to Nasty Penguins?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 2:49 pm


What kind of screwball parents would save their baby's crap?  Baby crap is like the most disgusting thing in the world, excluding my own crap.  Which is why I want to get it out of my body in the first place.


So why bronze a piece of doody? ;D  :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/01/06 at 2:49 pm


Something that looks like dung, flung on to a plate, which has the same appearance & effect once "digested"! Jeez, this really is a depraved thread- talking of which, what happened to Nasty Penguins?


Howard probably had the Pu Pu Platter.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/01/06 at 2:50 pm


So why bronze a piece of doody? ;D  :P


Perhaps they wanted to ward off the evil Xenu...

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 2:50 pm


Howard probably had the Pu Pu Platter.



with real PooPoo? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/01/06 at 2:51 pm


As of Wednesday it had attracted a top bid of 41 dollars.


When asked what he was bidding on, the user replied, "Some crap."

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 2:56 pm


When asked what he was bidding on, the user replied, "Some crap."



Or I can't take this crap anymore.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/01/06 at 2:57 pm

OR!  I can't (*#&$ing believe I just paid $41 for this crap!  :D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 09/01/06 at 3:00 pm


So why bronze a piece of doody? ;D  :P


Little Suri has to earn her keep now that Daddy's production studio isn't part of Paramount anymore.
SOMEBODY has to pay for those Pampers, ya know!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: goodsin2 on 09/01/06 at 3:02 pm


Little Suri has to earn her keep now that Daddy's production studio isn't part of Paramount anymore.
SOMEBODY has to pay for those Pampers, ya know!

Good to see respect for the midget Scientologist is alive & well. Er, won't he sue us for these comments?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 3:14 pm


Little Suri has to earn her keep now that Daddy's production studio isn't part of Paramount anymore.
SOMEBODY has to pay for those Pampers, ya know!



Well,they didn't have to go gold. ::)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 09/01/06 at 3:58 pm


Good to see respect for the midget Scientologist is alive & well. Er, won't he sue us for these comments?


I don't own anything worth sueing me for.  Yeah, I suppose that was a cheap shot on my part, why pick on da baby?  I'm sure she is gonna be beautiful, she has beautiful parents.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/01/06 at 4:14 pm

That story was a load of crap! ::)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/01/06 at 7:47 pm

Glad this topic was so well recepeted.

As it were...


I took a great one before dinner, about 5 hours ago, steamy and hot, it made me feel good... I LIKE!!  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/01/06 at 7:52 pm


Glad this topic was so well recepeted.

As it were...


I took a great one before dinner, about 5 hours ago, steamy and hot, it made me feel good... I LIKE!!  ;D
Is the bathroom still under quarrantine?  :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/01/06 at 7:54 pm


Is the bathroom still under quarrantine?  :o


Nah, I removed the corpse.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/01/06 at 8:56 pm


Did you forget to spray?


Oh I sprayed all right, but not that kind of spray ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Wiffle on 09/01/06 at 10:13 pm

I bought my husband one of those large chocolate chip cookie cakes at the store the other night. It was decorated like "Cookie Monster" with lots of blue icing and a big black mouth smile.

It has so much food coloring that it made us poop green.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/01/06 at 10:15 pm


I bought my husband one of those large chocolate chip cookie cakes at the store the other night. It was decorated like "Cookie Monster" with lots of blue icing and a big black mouth smile.

It has so much food coloring that it made us poop green.


That's hot.  Green poop is the sh*t.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/01/06 at 10:34 pm


I don't own anything worth sueing me for.  Yeah, I suppose that was a cheap shot on my part, why pick on da baby?  I'm sure she is gonna be beautiful, she has beautiful parents.



That baby doesn't have beautiful parents.  She has a closeted homosexual fruitcake for a father and a brainwashed zombie for a mother.  IF there is a baby, that kid is going to need boatloads of therapy to undo the Scientology brainwashing she'll endure. 

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/01/06 at 11:03 pm

About a month ago, I was in a public bathroom taking a crap and this guy comes in to wash his hands when suddenly his cellphone rings.  So here he is talking away while I am making loud poop sounds that the caller on the opposite end could hear.  I know this because the guy says "Oh, I'm in a bathroom and some guy is taking a dump".  What an ass!  >:(

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/01/06 at 11:10 pm


About a month ago, I was in a public bathroom taking a crap and this guy comes in to wash his hands when suddenly his cellphone rings.  So here he is talking away while I am making loud poop sounds that the caller on the opposite end could hear.  I know this because the guy says "Oh, I'm in a bathroom and some guy is taking a dump".  What an ass!  >:(



That's when I would have said, "That's right I am.....because this is a bathroom.  You take dumps in a bathroom.  Why are you on the $%#@$% phone in a bathroom?!"

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 09/01/06 at 11:18 pm



That baby doesn't have beautiful parents.  She has a closeted homosexual fruitcake for a father and a brainwashed zombie for a mother.  IF there is a baby, that kid is going to need boatloads of therapy to undo the Scientology brainwashing she'll endure. 


Well, ascetically pleasing then,  ::) 

Regardless of their personalities and/or personal convictions, they are both good looking.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/01/06 at 11:22 pm



That's when I would have said, "That's right I am.....because this is a bathroom.  You take dumps in a bathroom.  Why are you on the $%#@$% phone in a bathroom?!"


After I left the stall, the guy was still in the bathroom on the phone, so you know what I did?  I looked in his direction, yelled his name (when he answered his phone, he said his name), and then I screamed "STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS YOU SICKO".  ;D

I should have just grabbed the guy's phone and broke it against the wall

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/01/06 at 11:26 pm


Well, ascetically pleasing then,  ::) 

Regardless of their personalities and/or personal convictions, they are both good looking.



Katie was pretty until she hooked up with Crazy Cruise.  I never found him physically appealing at all.  His behavior recently has made him even less appealing to me.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/01/06 at 11:27 pm


After I left the stall, the guy was still in the bathroom on the phone, so you know what I did?  I looked in his direction, yelled his name (when he answered his phone, he said his name), and then I screamed "STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS YOU SICKO".  ;D

I should have just grabbed the guy's phone and broke it against the wall




People who use the phone in a public restroom....or any restroom for that matter, deserve to have their heads shoved in the toilet, the toilet flushed and the phone shoved up their butts.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Wiffle on 09/01/06 at 11:30 pm


Well, ascetically pleasing then,  ::) 

Regardless of their personalities and/or personal convictions, they are both good looking.


I don't think either of them are good looking. She looks especially strange to me.

But that is all a personal opinion, of course.

I don't find many celebrities to be good looking. I often wonder what people are thinking! Some of them are hideous!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/02/06 at 12:02 am

when company comes over, Lady Di lights a scented candle for the bathroom and sometimes Julie lights incense. but just in case, there is a can of Glade. Taking a dump in a bathroom with a lit scented candle is kinda, well it's kinda nice.  8)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/02/06 at 12:05 am


when company comes over, Lady Di lights a scented candle for the bathroom and sometimes Julie lights incense. but just in case, there is a can of Glade. Taking a dump in a bathroom with a lit scented candle is kinda, well it's kinda nice.  8)



Makes you feel like you're at a spa.....or at the very least not in your house. 

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/02/06 at 12:09 am



Makes you feel like you're at a spa.....or at the very least not in your house. 
yeah, that's sort of what it's like. I feel like lighting one of those candles now.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/02/06 at 8:40 am


yeah, that's sort of what it's like. I feel like lighting one of those candles now.  ;D


Watch where and when you light it, the house might explode :D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/02/06 at 9:59 am


when company comes over, Lady Di lights a scented candle for the bathroom and sometimes Julie lights incense. but just in case, there is a can of Glade. Taking a dump in a bathroom with a lit scented candle is kinda, well it's kinda nice.  8)


Scented candles in the bathroom....nice idea.  I have them everywhere else.  Today I will buy one for the bathroom.

Now, I have teenaged boys.  They have their own bathroom downstairs.  Thank goodness. 
Yesterday I came home from work and their friends were over and the whole house smelled like cologne.  I called my son upstairs and said, "Why does this whole house smell like cologne; it's awful."  And he said, "Well, Joe used the bathroom and, believe me, the cologne smell is better!"  ;D

I'm buying incense for the downstairs bathroom for sure!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/02/06 at 11:13 am

Three today, must be a record.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/02/06 at 11:55 am


Scented candles in the bathroom....nice idea.  I have them everywhere else.  Today I will buy one for the bathroom.

Now, I have teenaged boys.  They have their own bathroom downstairs.  Thank goodness. 
Yesterday I came home from work and their friends were over and the whole house smelled like cologne.  I called my son upstairs and said, "Why does this whole house smell like cologne; it's awful."  And he said, "Well, Joe used the bathroom and, believe me, the cologne smell is better!"  ;D

I'm buying incense for the downstairs bathroom for sure!
I know that cologne smell as I used to give 2 of Julie's classmates ride to school and her and I would talk about the "reek".  the scented candle & incense is a great idea.


Three today, must be a record.
3? man, you hold the title of BM champion  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: AL-B Mk. III on 09/02/06 at 12:56 pm


Three today, must be a record.
Damn, what did you eat?!?  :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/02/06 at 5:14 pm


Scented candles in the bathroom....nice idea.  I have them everywhere else. 


I dunno about those pine-scent candles and deodorizers.

The bathroom usually then smells like somebody crapped a pine tree.  :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/02/06 at 5:17 pm


I dunno about those pine-scent candles and deodorizers.

The bathroom usually then smells like somebody crapped a pine tree.   :o


Yeah.  I don't like the pine myself.  Maybe cinnamon.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/02/06 at 5:20 pm


  What an ass!  >:(


Whistle, are you referring to the guy talking on his cell phone?  Or are you in awe of your ass that has a voice that carries well?

;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/02/06 at 5:22 pm


Yeah.  I don't like the pine myself.  Maybe cinnamon.


But then it will just smell like somebody crapped a Cinnabon.

Well... OK.  That would kinda smell pretty good.  :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/02/06 at 6:41 pm


Whistle, are you referring to the guy talking on his cell phone?  Or are you in awe of your ass that has a voice that carries well?

;)


http://spiffy-entertainment.com/forums2/images/smiles/uglyhammer_2.gif

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/02/06 at 8:21 pm


But then it will just smell like somebody crapped a Cinnabon.


;D  I can't believe I'm having this conversation.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/02/06 at 8:36 pm


But then it will just smell like somebody crapped a Cinnabon.

Well... OK.  That would kinda smell pretty good.  :P



I'd rather have my bathroom smell like cinnamon than someone's bowel movement.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/02/06 at 10:06 pm


Three today, must be a record.


Nice.  Glad to know you have high standards ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: DJ Midas on 09/03/06 at 12:42 am


That's hot.  Green poop is the sh*t.


Grape Kool-Aid™ makes it happen.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/03/06 at 4:59 am


Damn, what did you eat?!?  :o


...and a fourth before I went to sleep.

I'm not sure, but whatever it was.. it was hot and it didn't wanna stay in me.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/03/06 at 7:44 am



I'd rather have my bathroom smell like cinnamon than someone's bowel movement.


You do have a point there.  ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/03/06 at 11:17 am

My little Amlette and myself crapped just now.  It was most divine.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/03/06 at 12:22 pm



I'd rather have my bathroom smell like cinnamon than someone's bowel movement.


Then you'd be turned off Cinnamon ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: AL-B Mk. III on 09/03/06 at 1:41 pm

YES!! I JUST HAD A ONE-WIPER!!!

Which for me is a sure-fire sign that I'm going to have a great day.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/03/06 at 1:56 pm


YES!! I JUST HAD A ONE-WIPER!!!

Which for me is a sure-fire sign that I'm going to have a great day.  ;D


1 or 2 Ply? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: AL-B Mk. III on 09/03/06 at 2:00 pm


1 or 2 Ply? ;D
Charmin 2-ply.

Life's too short to buy cheap toilet paper. I hate staying at my brother's house, he can be a real tightwad and he always buys the cheapest buttwipe he can get, which to me feels like 80-grit sandpaper.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/03/06 at 3:05 pm


Charmin 2-ply.

Life's too short to buy cheap toilet paper. I hate staying at my brother's house, he can be a real tightwad and he always buys the cheapest buttwipe he can get, which to me feels like 80-grit sandpaper.


Couldn't agree more Al. I like to feel as if I'm rubbing my ass with silk.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/03/06 at 6:24 pm


Couldn't agree more Al. I like to feel as if I'm rubbing my ass with silk.


Hmmm... Tell you what Davey.  If I ever win the Lotto then I will send you several rolls of pure silk, perforated, of course.  ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/04/06 at 8:57 am

I hate when I'm on the toilet and nothing comes out.It must be the ghost sh!t. ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/07/06 at 7:45 pm


Hmmm... Tell you what Davey.  If I ever win the Lotto then I will send you several rolls of pure silk, perforated, of course.  ;)


You're a good man.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/07/06 at 9:40 pm


YES!! I JUST HAD A ONE-WIPER!!!

Which for me is a sure-fire sign that I'm going to have a great day.  ;D
well, if there's a sign you're about to have a exceptionally good day, that's probably it  ;D 


**question:  How does a blind person know when they're done wiping?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/08/06 at 4:19 pm

I didn't crap all day

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/08/06 at 5:24 pm


I didn't crap all day


A sure sign that you're stressed out, Howard....and not eating enough veggies. :-\\

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/08/06 at 5:39 pm

Right now, I feel okay. I've already met my daily quota.  ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/08/06 at 8:03 pm

^ Girls don't crap!  They magically transport the crap from their bodies into the toilet!

:D

(That was from a humor magazine on campus back when I was a younger lad...)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Southern Image on 09/08/06 at 11:22 pm

I wish I could take one. I hurt so bad right now  :\'(

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Rice_Cube on 09/09/06 at 8:42 am

^ More fiber and water for you!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/10/06 at 10:11 am


^ Girls don't crap!  They magically transport the crap from their bodies into the toilet!

:D

(That was from a humor magazine on campus back when I was a younger lad...)


It took me so long to work it out.

See, I never noticed them ever taking craps either.. then I realized. Unlike us guys, who have the common courtesy to announce to the room (or in my case, once make a call to the west coast) "I'm gonna go drop a load." They quietly sneak off and then leave it for some poor unsuspecting fool to wander in and smell the leftover evilness that spewed from their fowl excretory tracts.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/11/06 at 1:45 am

Why is it when I see this thread, I feel like listening to the 1983 hit "Big Log" by Robert Plant? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 09/11/06 at 1:48 am


Why is it when I see this thread, I feel like listening to the 1983 hit "Big Log" by Robert Plant? ;D


I think of "Carry That Weight" by The Beatles  :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/11/06 at 2:22 am


I wish I could take one. I hurt so bad right now  :\'(


Maybe it's time for the Big E ? ???

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/11/06 at 2:32 am


I wish I could take one. I hurt so bad right now  :\'(



Maybe it's time for the Big E ? ???

a big bowl of cereal would do the trick http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xd8EAVFgEsADdujzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12484pc53/EXP=1158046204/**http%3a//www.bamboozle.ca/wp-content/ColonBlow.jpg

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/11/06 at 2:44 am

or how about a nice cookie?

http://lisalynnfitness.com/prodspics/bowel_buddy.jpg

A good gag would be to serve some of these cookies at a party.  Then when people say "Your party is tha sh!t", they ain't sh!ttin' ya ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/11/06 at 2:56 am

                          http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x_oFQVF0BcACoKjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=127ifftll/EXP=1158047592/**http%3a//www.lsall.com/forums/images/smilies/dump.gif

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/11/06 at 3:04 am

http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif http://www.spacefem.com/forum/images/smiles/tp.gif

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/11/06 at 8:44 am


a big bowl of cereal would do the trick http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xd8EAVFgEsADdujzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12484pc53/EXP=1158046204/**http%3a//www.bamboozle.ca/wp-content/ColonBlow.jpg



That reminds me.... when I was married, I once bought a box of 100% bran to sprinkle on my yogurt for breakfast (just to keep those pipes clean you know).  A couple of days later my hubby says, "Gosh, I don't know what's wrong, my stomach's going crazy and I've been in the bathroom five times already!"  I asked what he'd eaten and he said he had some cereal the night before.  "Uh, how much of that did you eat?" I asked.  Two full bowls, he said, it was good.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into!  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: KKay on 09/11/06 at 9:24 am



That reminds me.... when I was married, I once bought a box of 100% bran to sprinkle on my yogurt for breakfast (just to keep those pipes clean you know).  A couple of days later my hubby says, "Gosh, I don't know what's wrong, my stomach's going crazy and I've been in the bathroom five times already!"   I asked what he'd eaten and he said he had some cereal the night before.  "Uh, how much of that did you eat?" I asked.  Two full bowls, he said, it was good.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into!  ;D

Ahhhhh!!!!!! I remember when that happened..you emailed me right away about it.
hysterical.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/11/06 at 4:05 pm


A sure sign that you're stressed out, Howard....and not eating enough veggies. :-\\



I think it might be or my stomach's acting up :o  :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/12/06 at 1:26 am


a big bowl of cereal would do the trick http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xd8EAVFgEsADdujzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12484pc53/EXP=1158046204/**http%3a//www.bamboozle.ca/wp-content/ColonBlow.jpg


Heh heh...  There is actually a www.colonblow.com web site out there that sells various colon blow products.

I also happened across http://www.hotsauceworld.com/colblowar.html that sells Colon Blow Hot Sauce that is touted as "A Red Habanero Enema... comes out hotter than it went in!"

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/hotsauceworld_1909_47493382

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/12/06 at 1:29 am

Ages ago!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/12/06 at 1:54 am



That reminds me.... when I was married, I once bought a box of 100% bran to sprinkle on my yogurt for breakfast (just to keep those pipes clean you know).  A couple of days later my hubby says, "Gosh, I don't know what's wrong, my stomach's going crazy and I've been in the bathroom five times already!"   I asked what he'd eaten and he said he had some cereal the night before.  "Uh, how much of that did you eat?" I asked.  Two full bowls, he said, it was good.  He had no idea what he was getting himself into!  ;D
Is there such a thing as too much fiber? I think the answer is YES  ;D


Ahhhhh!!!!!! I remember when that happened..you emailed me right away about it.
hysterical.

ok, you two are not supposed to have that kind of fun & joy at hubbys moment of weakness, dang
give the man some privacy  :-
Heh heh...  There is actually a www.colonblow.com web site out there that sells various colon blow products.

I also happened across http://www.hotsauceworld.com/colblowar.html that sells Colon Blow Hot Sauce that is touted as "A Red Habanero Enema... comes out hotter than it went in!"

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/hotsauceworld_1909_47493382
the red hot enema, I mean, who in the hell wants one of those. I like hot sauce but not hot enough to scorch my ass with 2nd degree burns  :o 

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: LyricBoy on 09/12/06 at 7:43 am



the red hot enema, I mean, who in the hell wants one of those. I like hot sauce but not hot enough to scorch my ass with 2nd degree burns  :o 



No pain, no gain.  ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/12/06 at 8:46 am


ok, you two are not supposed to have that kind of fun & joy at hubbys moment of weakness, dang
give the man some privacy  :-
the red hot enema, I mean, who in the hell wants one of those. I like hot sauce but not hot enough to scorch my ass with 2nd degree burns  :o 


EX hubby used to call that F. A. H. (Flaming  A**  Hole).  (Which tells you how often he ate very spicy food -- enough to come up with an abbreviation for the experience!!)  ;D
(oh darn, there I go again making fun... ::))

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/12/06 at 6:02 pm

I did yesterday and that felt good.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/12/06 at 6:07 pm

It's important to get rid of it at least once a day. I've met my quota today  :)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/12/06 at 6:16 pm


It's important to get rid of it at least once a day. I've met my quota today  :)



I haven't today.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/12/06 at 6:16 pm



I haven't today.


Better get going, boy. Nothing like a foul crap to hit the fan  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/12/06 at 6:22 pm


Better get going, boy. Nothing like a foul crap to hit the fan  ;D



My colon's clean today.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/13/06 at 10:19 pm



My colon's clean today.
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x.IyAhFiBcBg02jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsNXZtZnJjBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTk5OV83Mw--/SIG=12eknqntm/EXP=1158289928/**http%3a//www.wcs.org/media/image/peekabooprairiedog2copy.jpg

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/13/06 at 10:20 pm


http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x.IyAhFiBcBg02jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsNXZtZnJjBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTk5OV83Mw--/SIG=12eknqntm/EXP=1158289928/**http%3a//www.wcs.org/media/image/peekabooprairiedog2copy.jpg



I don't know why, but that sentence coupled with the look on that gopher's face just made me chortle out loud.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/13/06 at 10:28 pm



I don't know why, but that sentence coupled with the look on that gopher's face just made me chortle out loud.
good, I'm glad and of course it's a prairie dog (prairie dogging)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/13/06 at 10:51 pm


good, I'm glad and of course it's a prairie dog (prairie dogging)



I got the joke......the face on that little guy was just priceless.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Foo Bar on 09/13/06 at 10:53 pm


good, I'm glad and of course it's a prairie dog (prairie dogging)


"Prairie Dogging" - a slang term for... well, not just prairie-dogging in the context of a poop thread, and not just slang for the way co-workers' heads will pop above cubicle walls when words like "beer" or "pizza" are uttered, but also for...

http://www.dogbegone.com/

...feels guilty for laughing so hard, yelling "PWN3D", and muting the audio to play to Weird Al's "Weasel Stomping Day" with a picture of Bill Murray from Caddyshack as his wallpaper.  But the guilt didn't stop me.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/13/06 at 11:30 pm



I got the joke......the face on that little guy was just priceless.
I thought ya missed the joke when you said gopher, but yeah, the lil guys look is priceless. I hope Howard sees it tomorrow.  ;D


"Prairie Dogging" - a slang term for... well, not just prairie-dogging in the context of a poop thread, and not just slang for the way co-workers' heads will pop above cubicle walls when words like "beer" or "pizza" are uttered, but also for...

http://www.dogbegone.com/

...feels guilty for laughing so hard, yelling "PWN3D", and muting the audio to play to Weird Al's "Weasel Stomping Day" with a picture of Bill Murray from Caddyshack as his wallpaper.  But the guilt didn't stop me.
oh yeah, my co-worker goes up to Oregon and they pop about 100 of the varmints and when he returns to work he tells me about all his confirmed kills. 

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/14/06 at 4:04 pm

made a stinky one today

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/14/06 at 10:34 pm


made a stinky one today

  Did you spray?  :-\\
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xV.HgpFoGsAYSSjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsdmIydTZhBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTAwMV83MA--/SIG=12k5jv71k/EXP=1158377470/**http%3a//www.malsarkest.co.uk/Catalogue/cleaning/Hc3/air_spray.jpg

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/15/06 at 9:39 am

There's something about that first cup of coffee in the morning....  ::)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: KKay on 09/15/06 at 10:42 am

^ugh...i wish!!!

i always have to wait till the end of the day, just like my dog.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/15/06 at 4:14 pm


   Did you spray?   :-\\
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xV.HgpFoGsAYSSjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsdmIydTZhBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTAwMV83MA--/SIG=12k5jv71k/EXP=1158377470/**http%3a//www.malsarkest.co.uk/Catalogue/cleaning/Hc3/air_spray.jpg



Yes I did,I didn't forget. ;D    :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/15/06 at 4:15 pm


There's something about that first cup of coffee in the morning....  ::)



coffee makes me go pee

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/15/06 at 4:41 pm

I can feel my third of the day brewing.. 3 is more than normal.

I'm generally the kind of guy who just has one big one, but for the past couple of months I've been dropping at least a couple a day.. it seems that I'm metabolising food much faster.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/15/06 at 4:47 pm

Just then, did anyone noticed?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/15/06 at 4:48 pm


I can feel my third of the day brewing.. 3 is more than normal.

I'm generally the kind of guy who just has one big one, but for the past couple of months I've been dropping at least a couple a day.. it seems that I'm metabolising food much faster.



You don't have to explain the size of your crap... :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: CeeKay on 09/15/06 at 6:32 pm


I can feel my third of the day brewing.. 3 is more than normal.

I'm generally the kind of guy who just has one big one, but for the past couple of months I've been dropping at least a couple a day.. it seems that I'm metabolising food much faster.


too much information! ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/15/06 at 7:10 pm



You don't have to explain the size of your crap... :P


It was a three bagger.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/15/06 at 7:18 pm

None yet for me this afternoon, but just wait - tonight will be the big time...  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/15/06 at 7:25 pm


None yet for me this afternoon, but just wait - tonight will be the big time...  ;D
I'm not sure how I feel about this, umm, I mean, yanno,  talking with girls about this.  it makes me feel kinda uncomfortable  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/15/06 at 7:27 pm


I'm not sure how I feel about this, umm, I mean, yanno,  talking with girls about this.   it makes me feel kinda uncomfortable  ;D


I don't quite reveal when it will happen - but I do reveal it will happen.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/15/06 at 7:32 pm


I don't quite reveal when it will happen - but I do reveal it will happen.
well, is there any need to withhold any info from each other at this point? we know more about each others private time, yet i still keep coming back to the thread to read  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/15/06 at 7:44 pm



You don't have to explain the size of your crap... :P




This coming from the King of TMI.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/15/06 at 7:46 pm


well, is there any need to withhold any info from each other at this point? we know more about each others private time, yet i still keep coming back to the thread to read  ;D


I decided I will just let loose on here... yes, really let loose... but not quite at this moment - as I need a commode first. But, Mike - I think you're a good candidate of being a trusted person when it comes to my private life.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/15/06 at 7:48 pm

Ooooooohhh man, here comes number 4! WADDID I EAT!?!!  :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/15/06 at 7:49 pm


I decided I will just let loose on here... yes, really let loose... but not quite at this moment - as I need a commode first. But, Mike - I think you're a good candidate of being a trusted person when it comes to my private life.  ;D
good decision to wait til you're on the throne & wow kristen, you honor me by allowing me into that special part of your life.


Ooooooohhh man, here comes number 4! WADDID I EAT!?!!  :o
that's lovely  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/15/06 at 7:57 pm


that's lovely  ;D


Not at this end.

Ouch, hot stinger.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/15/06 at 7:58 pm


good decision to wait til you're on the throne & wow kristen, you honor me by allowing me into that special part of your life.
that's lovely  ;D


And not just you, but this WHOLE forum - Yikes!  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/16/06 at 12:37 am


And not just you, but this WHOLE forum - Yikes!  ;D
oh yeah, the whole board has your routine down pat.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/18/06 at 4:47 pm


Ooooooohhh man, here comes number 4! WADDID I EAT!?!!  :o



EW!  :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/19/06 at 2:58 am

Dang! The child killing fart I just did indicates that I gotta crap.. but I gotta go out right now.  :o This could be fun.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/19/06 at 3:05 am


Dang! The child killing fart I just did indicates that I gotta crap.. but I gotta go out right now.  :o This could be fun.
It's always more comfy in your own john

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/19/06 at 5:48 pm


It's always more comfy in your own john


more privacy

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Southern Image on 09/19/06 at 5:57 pm

My butt hurts so bad, I don't wanna take a crap right now. :\'(

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/19/06 at 6:04 pm

As soon as I was reading this thread my stomach hurt. :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/19/06 at 6:09 pm

There should be a follow up thread.  Now that "I Gotta Crap", i do my business, and then "I Gotta Wipe" ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/19/06 at 6:10 pm


There should be a follow up thread.  Now that "I Gotta Crap", i do my business, and then "I Gotta Wipe" ;D


Don't we all? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/19/06 at 6:15 pm


Don't we all? ;D


What about Amazon Women and MEn who run about naked in the jungle?  They don't wipe.  They basically crap on the go ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/19/06 at 6:16 pm


What about Amazon Women and MEn who run about naked in the jungle?  They don't wipe.  They basically crap on the go ;D



or use leaves

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/23/06 at 1:14 am

The next time you eat Pillsbury cookies ...
































Ask yourself, just what is that dough made of ;D

http://www.drfunkk.com/OTfunny/28042005202447_dbanima2.gif

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: GREEN67 on 09/23/06 at 1:15 am

8) OLD DAYS.... my grandpa told me...corn cobs...musta been rough

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/23/06 at 1:26 am


There should be a follow up thread.  Now that "I Gotta Crap", i do my business, and then "I Gotta Wipe" ;D
that's a borderline Sh*thead! thread, that dude that got banned for the look at the teepee thread. that's gnarly

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/23/06 at 1:33 am


that's a borderline Sh*thead! thread, that dude that got banned for the look at the teepee thread. that's gnarly


That dude getting banned still has me puzzled.  When he got banned, that other dude who no one had heard of did a thread about it

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: GREEN67 on 09/23/06 at 1:35 am


The next time you eat Pillsbury cookies ...
I LOVE your new avatar..Its my cat TIGER rockin out!!































Ask yourself, just what is that dough made of ;D

http://www.drfunkk.com/OTfunny/28042005202447_dbanima2.gif
8)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/23/06 at 1:39 am


That dude getting banned still has me puzzled.  When he got banned, that other dude who no one had heard of did a thread about it
who was the follow up dude (the friend)  I thought ChuckyG said maybe it was the same guy.



8)
I've seen that, the pillsbury doughbury crappin out a pillsbury crescent roll. that's messed up, I like those

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/23/06 at 1:41 am


who was the follow up dude (the friend)  I thought ChuckyG said maybe it was the same guy.


It was that Mystery guy whose name escapes me at the moment.  Came to the boards, knew Philip and others which led everyone to believe he was some ex-member

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: GREEN67 on 09/23/06 at 1:45 am


It was that Mystery guy whose name escapes me at the moment.  Came to the boards, knew Philip and others which led everyone to believe he was some ex-member
  8)Tiger is ROCKIN!!!!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/23/06 at 7:06 am


The next time you eat Pillsbury cookies ...
































Ask yourself, just what is that dough made of ;D

http://www.drfunkk.com/OTfunny/28042005202447_dbanima2.gif



Nobody's going to want to eat cookies now. ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/28/06 at 7:51 pm

so you're done, now you're ready to finish up and you reach for the toilet paper, and then a wave of shock and horror passes through you like electricity as you suddenly realize the worst :o  no toilet paper !!    
don't ya just hate calling a family member to bring you some, because you're so helpless  ;D  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 09/28/06 at 7:52 pm


so you're done, now you're ready to finish up and you reach for the toilet paper, and then a wave of shock and horror passes through you like electricity as you suddenly realize the worst :o   no toilet paper !!    
don't ya just hate calling a family member to bring you some, because you're so helpless  ;D  ;D



that sucks so bad. I always try to keep extra toilet paper right in the bathroom....that is horrible, especially when you are in a public bathroom...and you don't notice until you are finished....UGH! :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/28/06 at 7:56 pm



that sucks so bad. I always try to keep extra toilet paper right in the bathroom....that is horrible, especially when you are in a public bathroom...and you don't notice until you are finished....UGH! :o
yeah, we always have extra rolls in ours. At a public bathroom, your options become the toilet seat covers  ;D  man that is pathetic

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 09/28/06 at 7:57 pm


yeah, we always have extra rolls in ours. At a public bathroom, your options become the toilet seat covers  ;D  man that is pathetic



hahaah..pretty harsh there, huh? ;D :D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Foo Bar on 09/28/06 at 8:27 pm


so you're done, now you're ready to finish up and you reach for the toilet paper, and then a wave of shock and horror passes through you like electricity as you suddenly realize the worst :o  no toilet paper !!    


Best graffiti I've ever seen:

"Here you sit
In foetid vapor.
I just used up
All the paper."

And scrawled beneath it:

"Burma Shave"

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/28/06 at 8:33 pm


so you're done, now you're ready to finish up and you reach for the toilet paper, and then a wave of shock and horror passes through you like electricity as you suddenly realize the worst :o  no toilet paper !!    
don't ya just hate calling a family member to bring you some, because you're so helpless  ;D  ;D



I never have this issue because I am anal about keeping 6 rolls of toilet paper in our bathroom at all times.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/28/06 at 8:33 pm


yeah, we always have extra rolls in ours. At a public bathroom, your options become the toilet seat covers  ;D  man that is pathetic



The first thing I do before I use a public bathroom stall is to check if it has toilet paper.  If it doesn't, I don't use it.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/29/06 at 2:03 am

[quote author=

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/29/06 at 2:04 am


What happens if you have paid for entry into the cubicle?



You don't pay to use public bathrooms over here, Philip.  They have public restrooms at the mall and other shopping centers, most big stores have them as well (Target, Wal-Mart) and I know Starbucks has a bathroom as well. 


There aren't public bathrooms on the streets, you know.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/29/06 at 2:05 am

[quote author=

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/29/06 at 3:03 am

crapping is free in the USA, just make sure there's paper  ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/29/06 at 3:15 am


crapping is free in the USA



That's right, Mike....because this is AMERICA!!  The home of FREE BOWEL MOVEMENTS! 


USA!
USA!!
USA!!!



/ends patriotic soapbox

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Gis on 09/29/06 at 3:27 am

having been caught short in a public toilet I now always, always carry some paper tissues with me. Also they are better than the shiny tracing paper stuff you get in most british public toilets!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/29/06 at 9:58 am

This will sound a little gross, but what the hell ...

Years ago, I was in Value Village (better known as Savers to you folks in the US and Australia) and I had to crap so bad, I ran into the stall and did my business without even checking to see if there was TP.  It was of course the only stall, and there was no TP, and I really had to wipe, so what did I do?



































































I used the edge of the stall door  :-[

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 09/29/06 at 9:59 am


This will sound a little gross, but what the hell ...

Years ago, I was in Value Village (better known as Savers to you folks in the US and Australia) and I had to crap so bad, I ran into the stall and did my business without even checking to see if there was TP.  It was of course the only stall, and there was no TP, and I really had to wipe, so what did I do?



































































I used the edge of the stall door  :-[



holy crap!!! :o (no pun intended).

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Gis on 09/29/06 at 10:18 am

How?? Are you double jointed or something?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 09/29/06 at 10:19 am


How?? Are you double jointed or something?



;D ;D ;D  It's just an image that I just don't want in my mind!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/29/06 at 11:04 am


How?? Are you double jointed or something?


Let's just say it was a painful experience ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/29/06 at 11:45 am

[quote author=

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/29/06 at 1:03 pm


America land of the free!


not 100% free.  I hear some airports in the states have pay toilets.  S'posedly we have them in Canada too, but I've never seen one

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/29/06 at 1:25 pm


not 100% free.  I hear some airports in the states have pay toilets.  S'posedly we have them in Canada too, but I've never seen one
Crap!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/29/06 at 3:18 pm

What happens if there's no toilet paper in a department store,should go walk around half naked asking for TP until you get some? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/29/06 at 3:26 pm


What happens if there's no toilet paper in a department store,should go walk around half naked asking for TP until you get some? ;D



I think you know the answer to that.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/29/06 at 3:47 pm


What happens if there's no toilet paper in a department store,should go walk around half naked asking for TP until you get some? ;D
Always carry a newspaper.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/29/06 at 4:24 pm


Always carry a newspaper.



Or a barrel over yourself.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/29/06 at 4:58 pm



Or a barrel over yourself.
You do have $10 bills in your wallet?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 09/29/06 at 5:00 pm


You do have $10 bills in your wallet?


Or euros... they're just like monopoly money, not real.

I just took a great crap, I thought I dropped a kidney in there.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 09/29/06 at 6:00 pm


What happens if there's no toilet paper in a department store,should go walk around half naked asking for TP until you get some? ;D
do that and they'll get you toilet paper, only it will be at the county jail  :o

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 09/29/06 at 6:12 pm


This will sound a little gross, but what the hell ...

Years ago, I was in Value Village (better known as Savers to you folks in the US and Australia) and I had to crap so bad, I ran into the stall and did my business without even checking to see if there was TP.  It was of course the only stall, and there was no TP, and I really had to wipe, so what did I do?



































































I used the edge of the stall door  :-[


That had to be a very unqiue feeling  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/29/06 at 7:57 pm


That had to be a very unqiue feeling  ;D


It was a cold feeling.  Metal doors pressed against skin.  Any colder, and my ass would have stuck to it like a tongue to a flag pole ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/29/06 at 8:02 pm

I can't believe you wiped your ass on a door.  That's offensive.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 09/29/06 at 8:06 pm

[quote author=

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 09/29/06 at 8:30 pm


It was the grossest thing i ever had to do.  I always carry kleenex in my pocket nowadays



that sucks whenever stores can't even keep up with making sure that the stalls have ample toilet paper....how much do you wanna bet that they ALWAYS remember now? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 09/30/06 at 7:31 am


You do have $10 bills in your wallet?


Should I wipe myself with a 10 dollar bill?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/30/06 at 11:21 am


Should I wipe myself with a 10 dollar bill?



I think you know the answer to that.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/30/06 at 11:36 am

[quote author=

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 09/30/06 at 11:36 am


...or ask someone to change the $10 for two $5 bills?



I don't think so.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: mugg on 10/02/06 at 9:17 am

do you know why it's even called a crap to begin with?
the inventor of the toilet was named John Crapper, so you can call your shiiter a John or a Crapper not to be confused with a shiite, that is a sect of the muslim religion KILL FOR ALLAH!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 10/02/06 at 9:43 am


do you know why it's even called a crap to begin with?
the inventor of the toilet was named John Crapper, so you can call your shiiter a John or a Crapper not to be confused with a shiite, that is a sect of the muslim religion KILL FOR ALLAH!



In my friends apartment his toilet had 'John Crapper' and the whole story printed on the side of it. IT wasn't easy to read.. which is why he also had a lot of wet wipes.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: mugg on 10/02/06 at 9:46 am


In my friends apartment his toilet had 'John Crapper' and the whole story printed on the side of it. IT wasn't easy to read.. which is why he also had a lot of wet wipes.

what do you call your porcelain god? should we make a new thread dedicated to this topic?   ::)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 10/02/06 at 9:47 am


what do you call your porcelain god? should we make a new thread dedicated to this topic?   ::)


Err.. yeah. It's a travesty that such a thread dosen't already exist.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/02/06 at 3:45 pm

Sometimes my craps are as big as the toilet bowl,no wonder my toilet gets stuffed up sometimes. ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 10/02/06 at 3:46 pm


Sometimes my craps are as big as the toilet bowl,no wonder my toilet gets stuffed up sometimes. ;D



TMI.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 10/02/06 at 3:47 pm


Sometimes my craps are as big as the toilet bowl,no wonder my toilet gets stuffed up sometimes. ;D


Howard...

This thread was supposed to be classy.. you've dragged it down. Again.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 10/02/06 at 3:47 pm


Sometimes my craps are as big as the toilet bowl,no wonder my toilet gets stuffed up sometimes. ;D


Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, oh what a relief it is!

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/02/06 at 6:06 pm


Howard...

This thread was supposed to be classy.. you've dragged it down. Again.


classy...my ass. ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 10/02/06 at 6:12 pm

Here's some class ...

I just took a big long dump.  The chunks came out all big and brown and looked like king size Oh Henry bars.  The fart sounds I made while they came out were loud and stanky, and somewhat painful as I was grunting and screaming to get it out.





ok that didn't actually happen, but it sounds gross doesn't it?  Think of this while you enjoy your dinner ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 10/02/06 at 7:19 pm

Jason, your eloquent words are making my stomach grumble  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/03/06 at 2:30 pm

You don't take craps you leave a crap I mean where you going to take it?  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 10/03/06 at 2:46 pm

I already did my deed today.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/03/06 at 2:47 pm


I already did my deed today.


you did your duty? ;D (doody)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 10/03/06 at 3:21 pm


You don't take craps you leave a crap I mean where you going to take it?  ;D


I saw you take that crap, now put it back ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/03/06 at 3:23 pm


I saw you take that crap, now put it back ;D


where? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: mugg on 10/03/06 at 5:34 pm


I already did my deed today.

this explains the name "Hot stuff"  ;)

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 10/03/06 at 5:36 pm


this explains the name "Hot stuff"  ;)


One too many burritos.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 10/03/06 at 5:38 pm


this explains the name "Hot stuff"  ;)


Yep, it is always hot stuff, dressed to the nines  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/04/06 at 2:23 pm

Much earlier today.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 10/04/06 at 2:34 pm

Nothing's happened yet.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 10/04/06 at 3:05 pm

I just shot blanks.  You ever go to to your business .. you feel stuff coming out, but when you look in the bowl, there's nothing there? :D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 10/04/06 at 3:26 pm


I just shot blanks.  You ever go to to your business .. you feel stuff coming out, but when you look in the bowl, there's nothing there? :D


Yup, the Phantom Turd.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/07/06 at 1:48 am

Much earlier today.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/07/06 at 11:39 pm

All right, who stunk up the bathroom?  >:(

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/08/06 at 1:26 am

Yesterday.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/08/06 at 1:30 am


Yesterday.
;D I was all set to blame someone else

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/09/06 at 5:49 pm


All right, who stunk up the bathroom?  >:(



I forgot to spray. ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 10/09/06 at 5:52 pm

I'm feeling it  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: La Roche on 10/09/06 at 6:02 pm

Today at the house I was working on, this lady comes to the door and I say "Right, stripped down and re-fitted the back and side, just need to do the front and I'll be on my way, but first, could I use your bathroom?"
'Yes of course.'

So I walk through this house leaving mud and crap everywhere, go upstairs, sit down and proceed to take a monster sh.it.. anyway, the freakin bathroom door is like half glass.. and this lady walks upstairs and I'm just sitting there grinning like an idiot.

So I waved.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/09/06 at 6:29 pm

I'm not feeling it right now

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/25/06 at 1:14 am


Today at the house I was working on, this lady comes to the door and I say "Right, stripped down and re-fitted the back and side, just need to do the front and I'll be on my way, but first, could I use your bathroom?"
'Yes of course.'

So I walk through this house leaving mud and crap everywhere, go upstairs, sit down and proceed to take a monster sh.it.. anyway, the freakin bathroom door is like half glass.. and this lady walks upstairs and I'm just sitting there grinning like an idiot.

So I waved.  ;D
no sh*t  ;D  she saw you on the crapper??  that's too much

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/25/06 at 2:26 am

Very early this morning.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/27/06 at 3:14 pm

Must've been the hot wings with bleu cheese sauce I was eating. :P

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/27/06 at 3:19 pm

Not since this morning.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/28/06 at 8:01 pm

Only once

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/28/06 at 8:03 pm

what a lovely thread this is  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/28/06 at 8:04 pm


what a lovely thread this is  ;D


It's full of crap

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/28/06 at 8:08 pm


It's full of crap
you said it!  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/28/06 at 8:10 pm


you said it!  ;D


This thread is good enough...for me to poop on

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/28/06 at 8:13 pm


This thread is good enough...for me to poop on
pardon me, do you have any grey poop on?

http://www.smartgiftsolutions.co.uk/images/full/mustard.jpg

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/29/06 at 12:04 am

Haylie is so hot looking when she's taking a crap

http://www.freewebs.com/hshilary_haylie/haylie%20duff.jpg

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 10/29/06 at 12:05 am


Haylie is so hot looking when she's taking a crap

http://www.freewebs.com/hshilary_haylie/haylie%20duff.jpg



No offense Mike, but that photo just set off my Fug Alert sirens.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 10/29/06 at 12:06 am


Haylie is so hot looking when she's taking a crap

http://www.freewebs.com/hshilary_haylie/haylie%20duff.jpg



why is she in the poop thread? ??? ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Brian06 on 10/29/06 at 12:07 am


Haylie is so hot looking when she's taking a crap

http://www.freewebs.com/hshilary_haylie/haylie%20duff.jpg


I don't know if posting her pic in a thread about crap makes a good impression.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/29/06 at 12:08 am



No offense Mike, but that photo just set off my Fug Alert sirens.
I'd party with her



why is she in the poop thread? ??? ;D
cuz I thought it looked like she was squatting & taking a crap


I don't know if posting her pic in a thread about crap makes a good impression.
so what you're saying is it's not helping to convince anyone that she's hot.  ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/29/06 at 1:03 am


what a lovely thread this is  ;D
Very pleasant?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 10/29/06 at 1:05 am


Very pleasant?
perhaps a daily reminder

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 10/29/06 at 1:06 am


perhaps a daily reminder
The way how my body clock goes, I do not need a reminder.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/29/06 at 7:02 am


Haylie is so hot looking when she's taking a crap

http://www.freewebs.com/hshilary_haylie/haylie%20duff.jpg



Is that a toilet she's squatting on?

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 10/29/06 at 7:03 am


pardon me, do you have any grey poop on?

http://www.smartgiftsolutions.co.uk/images/full/mustard.jpg


The mustard looks like poop

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 11/25/06 at 2:34 am

Even Kris Kringle takes a crap now and again ...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/nwmetal/naughtysanta2.gif

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Badfinger-fan on 11/25/06 at 2:39 am


Even Kris Kringle takes a crap now and again ...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/nwmetal/naughtysanta2.gif
well isn't that lovely

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: whistledog on 11/25/06 at 3:20 am


well isn't that lovely


Now we know what the owner of that Chimney is getting for christmas ;D :D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Howard on 11/25/06 at 6:54 am


Even Kris Kringle takes a crap now and again ...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/nwmetal/naughtysanta2.gif


Well,Isn't that a load of crap! ;D

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 11/25/06 at 12:43 pm


Even Kris Kringle takes a crap now and again ...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/nwmetal/naughtysanta2.gif
Look what has happened over here in the UK, for this has been issued as one of the Christmas Stamps

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42283000/jpg/_42283252_stamp-first.jpg

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Sister Morphine on 11/25/06 at 1:09 pm

Her Majesty is staring at Santa taking a crap?  Interesting.

Subject: Re: I Gotta Crap...

Written By: Philip Eno on 11/25/06 at 1:15 pm


Her Majesty is staring at Santa taking a crap?  Interesting.
Exactly!

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