Has this already been done? If so, forgive me.  :D

I think it was done on Baker's Dozen board games, not as a regular thread

Kumquat

Well now what do I do with a useless thread?  :-\\ Dang!

Well Sister Morphine's playing, so I'll add:

Poutine

Coxswain

Mastication

anal

Penal

Titilating

organ

come

woodpecker

woodpecker
;D

oral

;D


I can top it ...

Backhoe

penetrate

baste



Baste sounds bad? 

[quote author=

[quote author=

I haven't thought of that



Ummmmm, I was asking you....


Nevermind.

I'll lend you the movie.


Pianist.



Oooh yes.  I don't know how many times I've said that word and someone asks me to repeat myself because they thought I was working blue.

I'll lend you the movie.


Pianist.



sounds just like penis ;D

[quote author=

If you're working blue.. you should probably loosen your tie.

I love the word.. especially the phrase 'tiny pianist' like in that movie.. with the midget who plays piano.

Glad you're with us Howard.



I'm glad too

sounds just like penis ;D



Really?  I had no idea.

I'm not so sure I understand what a Penis is...

.. that thing I put my headphones in right?  ???

[quote author=

Oh stop being silly ::)  ;D



Who's being silly?  You just dropped some serious knowledge on me.  I have to go reflect on this now.

Oh stop being silly ::)  ;D


Silly could be a bad word.. it rhymes with.....

What, pianist? I always thought it was pronounced pe-ANN-ist (with stress on the second syllable) until I heard people stressing the first one. Now I don't know which pronunciation is correct...not that it really matters. ::)

Silly could be a bad word.. it rhymes with.....



Willy?  No.....that can't be it.

Silly could be a bad word.. it rhymes with.....



It doesn't rhyme with anything.

What, pianist?


Okay, let's play "sound it out".  Pianist = PIA-nist.  Say it fast to yourself.  Then you'll get it.

It doesn't rhyme with anything.



Silly doesn't rhyme with anything?  Is that so.

Right. Still, I always thought it was piANist, due to the fact that it came from piANo. Right now I don't really care one way or the other.

Right. Still, I always thought it was piANist, due to the fact that it came from piANo. Right now I don't really care one way or the other.



Wait....you don't care, but you made comment anyway?  Stunning logic.

[quote author=

[quote author=

It rhymes with something



Silly rhymes with something? 

What, pianist? I always thought it was pronounced pe-ANN-ist (with stress on the second syllable) until I heard people stressing the first one. Now I don't know which pronunciation is correct...not that it really matters. ::)


Pee - a - nist.

Seriously, that's how I would say it.

Pee - a - nist.

Seriously, that's how I would say it.

Stressing the first syllable? Okay. Tomayto, tomotto.

[quote author=

Stressing the first syllable? Okay. Tomayto, tomotto.



Yeah see because if you don't stress the first syllable....like you're supposed to.....the joke doesn't work.

Stressing the first syllable? Okay. Tomayto, tomotto.


Right... but.. where the hell do people eat to-mow-tto's?

How would you say that second one?

You mean tow-Mar-toe?

willy
billy
Philly
Millie

Tilly
dilly
hilly
Lily

willy
billy
Philly
Millie



I said that.  And I knew that.  But thanks for the clarification.

Right... but.. where the hell do people eat to-mow-tto's?

How would you say that second one?

You mean tow-Mar-toe?

No way! :D There's no "R" sound in tomato. At least not the way I've heard anyone say it.

No way! :D There's no "R" sound in tomato.


I think we should have a chat.

;)

By the way.. you're all wrong..

.. Silly rhymes with chilly.

.. Silly rhymes with chilly.



I KNEW I forgot a word.

Oh yeah...Chilly Willy.

[quote author=

Silly silly Tiger Lilly bit Peter Pan on his willy, they went to the hospital in Philly, but the ride there was rather Hilly and silly silly tiger lilly forget to keep Pete's willy chilly so he had to get a transplant from Billy.

Silly silly Tiger Lilly bit Peter Pan on his willy, they went to the hospital in Philly, but the ride there was rather Hilly and silly silly tiger lilly forget to keep Pete's willy chilly so he had to get a transplant from Billy.



And you haven't won the Pulitzer yet?  For shame.

Silly silly Tiger Lilly bit Peter Pan on his willy, they went to the hospital in Philly, but the ride there was rather Hilly and silly silly tiger lilly forget to keep Pete's willy chilly so he had to get a transplant from Billy.

Then he ate a bowl of chili. :D >:D

[quote author=

Then he ate a bowl of chili. :D >:D


It's a good thing she went down on him then isn't it.. I wouldn't like to pass Chilli after a night of butt play.

[quote author=

You're welcome



.......right.

It's a good thing she went down on him then isn't it.. I wouldn't like to pass Chilli after a night of butt play.

That is the funniest post ever.  Bravo sir.......bravo.


They're considering me for childrens non - fiction.


I hope you win.  You have a true talent for words. 

fudge?

[quote author=

I hope I win too.. I'd really like to influence children everywhere.

You'd be an inspiration.


Oh no... ... oh.. Jesus, Mary, Joseph.... stop me now Lord...

I think you're asking the wrong people.......


.. Howard, where is the fudge?


I don't think you want to know.

[quote author=

Getting back on topic... if the word "pianist" sounds bad, but isn't, then so does the word "subpeona" (esp. in plural form).

Getting back on topic... if the word "pianist" sounds bad, but isn't, then so does the word "subpeona" (esp. in plural form).


HAHAHA

Subpeonas.

It's the de-evolved form of the cock.

Fork

HAHAHA

Subpeonas.

It's the de-evolved form of the cock.


Buy me subpoenas and cracker jacks. (That was an actual category on Win Ben Stein's Money one time.) ;D

Peanuts

Buy me subpoenas and cracker jacks. (That was an actual category on Win Ben Stein's Money one time.) ;D


Cracker Jack sounds painful.. not that bad though.

Cracker Jack sounds painful.. not that bad though.


How about Peanuts?

How about Peanuts?


No Howard, because I love to suck the salt off some peanuts, peel them, swallow them. Nice.

masticate    *snicker*

masticate    *snicker*



I already got this word (sort of) when I said "mastication".

[quote author=

Well....when you mouthed it, vaccuum can seem like a bad word. ;D :D

Cracker Jack sounds painful.. not that bad though.

George Carlin said I fed my dog a box of cracker jack, the next morning he took a cracker jack on the lawn

George Carlin said I fed my dog a box of cracker jack, the next morning he took a cracker jack on the lawn


Was his dogs name Jack?

'That's a cracker, Jack.'

"The pompus blowhard won a booby prize after serving his shuttlecock to Andy Dick"

No Howard, because I love to suck the salt off some peanuts, peel them, swallow them. Nice.


If you say the word 5 times,you say penis. ;D

If you say the word 5 times,you say penis. ;D



Maybe when you do it.

Not.

[quote author=

dag... foiled again....


Has anyone ever told you that you have acute angina?


I heard it as

Doctor: I need to tell you that you've got acute angina

Blonde: Thanks, I've been told my t*ts aren't bad either

sperm whale

I heard it as

Doctor: I need to tell you that you've got acute angina

Blonde: Thanks, I've been told my t*ts aren't bad either


That was funny.

Meatloaf... Don't let your meatloaf or you will be a hard man to beat

titlark
titmouse

Well....when you mouthed it, vaccuum can seem like a bad word. ;D :D

and so does "I wanna fig newton"  ;D

Badger.

punt

Fiddle.

Anal

pistil

Basket

engorged

gusket

chyme

Pulchritudinous.

One of the ugliest words in the dictionary, yet it means "beautiful."

throb

joystick

uvula

scrod

twiddle

tinkle

niggardly

winkle

Hawk's Top 10 Words-That-Are-Not-As-Dirty-As-They-Sound:

10. Crepuscular
9. Titular
8. Titicaca (The lake in Mexico)
7. Niggardly (Karma to Marian for this one!)
6. Secular
5. Bavardage
4. Punic (A set of wars fought in ancient Rome)
3. Fard
2. Oracular
AND! Hawk's Favorite Not-So-Dirty Word:
1. Mukluk

bulge

cooties

cumquat

cumquat


I already got that one, Howard.....3rd post in the thread.  :)

cock

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mj1.IxFHZIA9tajzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=11jenorg4/EXP=1166953077/**http%3a//pmokspd.com/halfcock.jpg

naso-labial

weiner schnitzel?  ;D

^ lol.. sounds like a dog.


thrust

badfinger sounds naughty...but isn't  ;D 

I dunno, maybe I just have a dirty mind.  probably

^ it does.. doesn't it..


Pubic

come to think of it... bookmistress sounds bad.  I don't know how many guys IM'd me on yahoo messenger when I first used the name thinking I was being flirty just cause I had the word mistress in my name  ;D

honestly, when I saw your name I pictured.. .. do I dare say.. sexy librarian type who wears a black leather catsuit or something. LOL. with the glasses and the bun, and the cat-0-nine tails in one hand and a copy of Dickens in the other.  :P


Chubby (sounds bad, but it really isn't , is it? )

honestly, when I saw your name I pictured.. .. do I dare say.. sexy librarian type who wears a black leather catsuit or something. LOL. with the glasses and the bun, and the cat-0-nine tails in one hand and a copy of Dickens in the other.  :P



wow...you musta seen the staff picture from my library.  ;D

hey... staff sounds bad, kinda.

I saw it on Ebay! the reserve hasn't been met ! ^


Slit

Dickens

or also

Dickens Cider  sounds...bad

Dickens

or also

Dickens Cider  sounds...bad

hah hah! ok, Bart!

inner

What about a blue-footed Boobie?  That sounds bad, but he's kinda cute

http://www.daleleatherman.com/Photos/2004images/WEBSITE/LGGalapagosBlue-footed%20boobie.jpg

His tail is kinda pointy though.  lol

he is cute

what about woodcock ?

What about a blue-footed Boobie?  That sounds bad, but he's kinda cute

http://www.daleleatherman.com/Photos/2004images/WEBSITE/LGGalapagosBlue-footed%20boobie.jpg

His tail is kinda pointy though.  lol
They have a dance to act.

hole

suck

I always chuckle like a schoolgirl when we go to Kinko's, cause it sounds like Kinky...  yeah alright I'm lame, you don't have to tell me that.  ;D

Spunky

spittle

Double entry in accounting doesn't mean what it means in other circles.  :o  ;D

Double entry in accounting doesn't mean what it means in other circles.   :o  ;D



:o :o ;) ;D

my goodness!! that made me blush!

annals

crankshaft

Dong

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dong_people

pole

shaft

circumvent

frock

pump

linguist

They have a dance to act.


He's putting his "right foot in", I think the next move is doing the hokey pokey and turning hisself around.


Heck when you have bad hearing like I do...even innocent words sound bad...such as Sax and Violins...which there is too much of on television.  Just ask Gilda Radner.

ohhh?  sax and violence? Nevermind! :P


strut

strut


Jane you ignorant strut!  ;)


Californication.  Isn't that bad?  lol

what about plain old
Sex. It sounds Bad but it really isn't!

snatch :D

trim

prick

beaver

cunning linguist

Col. Angus

sweaty ballsack


Oh wait, nevermind!!

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5qjCII5F79MAQ4ajzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12n8ll1mt/EXP=1167028802/**http%3a//www.maskworld.com/pix/teeth/character/3000-austin-powers.jpg Does this thread make you randy?  yeah baby.

bunghole

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5qjCII5F79MAQ4ajzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12n8ll1mt/EXP=1167028802/**http%3a//www.maskworld.com/pix/teeth/character/3000-austin-powers.jpg Does this thread make you randy?  yeah baby.

bunghole


;D ;D

I love this thread..It gets my  JUICES flowing!

Juice

fluids

Seaman

Seaman Recruit

Seaman Apprentice

(And the Navy wonders why the other military branches make so many gay jokes about them... ::))

I love this thread..It gets my  JUICES flowing!

Juice


:o :o :o

standing erect :D

Homo Erectus

creamy

Asti Spumanti

wet

straddle  ;)

spumoni

ride

hard

bob

mount

notice how all the "bad words" seem to be of a sexual nature  ???  

peacock

mount

Mount Baldy

Giddyap Bitch! (oops.. wait.. I'm still here! )

this thread is moving tonight. are all of you horny or what?

horny toad

petcock

http://classicandexotic.com/catalog/petcocks/images/misc0008.jpg

bounce

buns

sweetness

hose

opening

bivalve

swallow

horny toad

mound

ram

thrust

rim

Vagisil

bush

tangy

load

ream

Diving for pearls

musky

shoot

lugubrious

wad

I touched her red Volvo.

clam

pearl necklace

snowball

melons

breast

bone

wad
Not to get too far off-track here, but does anyone remember those old commercials for Big League Chew bubble gum (that came in a pouch and was supposed to emulate chewing tobacco)?  And as they'd show these kids (who were like 12 or 13 and wearing Little League uniforms) stuffing huge gobs of shredded bubble gum into their mouths, the announcer, who had a deep macho voice, would talk about how Big League Chew had "man-sized wads" of bubble gum.

Even as a kid I remember thinking how wrong that sounded.  :o :o :o

knocker

(Young Frankenstein anyone? "What knockers!" ""Vwhy thank you, doctor")

tongue

squishy
Not to get too far off-track here, but does anyone remember those old commercials for Big League Chew bubble gum (that came in a pouch and was supposed to emulate chewing tobacco)?  And as they'd show these kids (who were like 12 or 13 and wearing Little League uniforms) stuffing huge gobs of shredded bubble gum into their mouths, the announcer, who had a deep macho voice, would talk about how Big League Chew had "man-sized wads" of bubble gum.

Even as a kid I remember thinking how wrong that sounded.   :o :o :o


Yep, I remember those commercials. But I wasn't connecting the two wads then.. :P

Yep, I remember those commercials. But I wasn't connecting the two wads then.. :P
I'm sorry, that was dirty.  :o :o :o

But then again, so is this thread, so I retract my apology.  ;D ;D ;D

Beefeater

Suckle

lusty

<-- hot'ness.

Blow

moist

ooze

funbags

gag

pound

stroke

(love) pillows

man-butter

munch

crankshaft

grind

lap

horizontal boring

penetrate

chestnuts

fenestrate

landing strip

landing strip



Hitler mustache

brown eye

sprung

shaved

melons

slurp

cheeks

ripe

jugs

lobes

crack

Jiffy Lube

blow

hole

orifice

(There's a convenience store chain in the Midwest called) Kum & Go.

what part of midwest? ^

There's a pharmacy in Iowa called "Stoner Drugs"



Boing

what part of midwest? ^

There's a pharmacy in Iowa called "Stoner Drugs"



Boing



Acrually, I'm pretty sure they started out in Iowa, I think Casey's General Stores bought them out.

deep

pussycat

pussy willow

deep


pussycat


:o

ramrod

throb

logjam

pulse

octopus

crotch

cockpit

condiment

manhole

furry

flick

tickle

rub

organism

click

organ

nibble

shudder

Member

throbbing

aching

emission

climax

ecstasy

honeysuckle

I think I may need a shower after being in this thread...  ;D

droop

explode

dangle

bound

I think I'll start writing a trashy romance novel using the words from this thread.  ;D

I think I'll start writing a trashy romance novel using the words from this thread.   ;D
Please do

Uranus

Venus

Venus


Sounds like "penis" ;D

zip

Clint

Log

dangle

Fickle

Fiddlesticks

fork

jerk

jerk off

fret

jerk off



No Howard, I don't think that counts.

squeeze box

squeeze box


dirty sanchez

douche

douche


bag

lube

percolate

niggardly

vibraphone

condiment

jerk chicken

jorb

sausage

undulate

Uvula

sputum

Volvo

Meat and two veg

sounds just like penis ;D

Ugh, that annoys the hell out of me.  "Pianist" is pronunced like "Piano," but with "ist" instead of "o."

As I heard one of my fellow radio hosts say,
"He started his career as a jazz penis, but became better known as a classical penis."
--Ken
"Java Jazz"
::)

Somebody already got "vibraphone."

Here's another "flautist."  I hate that.  Sounds like a Victorian word for an exhibitionist or giver of oral sex.
I always say "flutist."
Last night I credited Barbara Held as an alto "flutist," not an alto "flautist."

A few more for your dirty musical family:

Fagott: Outdated English word for a. the Contrabassoon or b. a large viol from the 1700s.
Ukulele: Four-stringed Hawaiian guitar oft seen in Elvis movies.
con Vaghezza: Musical directive--it.): with longing .
Labial trill
Throat tremolo
Sackbut: a medieval trombone; also an early keyboard synthesizer developed by Hugh LeCaine, namesake the former.
Robert Dick: Common last name, but he plays flute and has a composition called "Blowing."
William Crotch: 19th century British organist, Oxford, St. Johns, Royal Academy of Music.
Max Butting: composer; director of East German Radio.

postwhore

Ugh, that annoys the hell out of me.  "Pianist" is pronunced like "Piano," but with "ist" instead of "o."

As I heard one of my fellow radio hosts say,
"He started his career as a jazz penis, but became better known as a classical penis."
--Ken
"Java Jazz"
::)


LOL!!  My daughter and I were watching an episode of Spongebob and one of the characters said something like "I was supposed to be a classical pianist...".  My daughter's eyes got real big and she looked at me and asked "Did he say what I think he said?".  I had to explain what pianist meant. 

Sorry for any repeats here

Torque
Vagrant
Invaginate
Peter Falk
Matriculate
Spurt
Rectory
Rectitude
Tithe
Dirk
Abreast
Cunning
Cunning Stunts
Crabgrass
Balzac
Seminal
Turgid
Spasm
Litoris (Latin for "shore")
Exacerbate
Exacerbating
Mercutio ("Shakespeare" for that matter)
Hiscock (a common surname)
Hancock
Hancock Shaker Village (Pittsfield, Mass., people always put the accents in the worst place!)
Athol (As above)
Cum Laude
Chicken cum Broccolli (see your Olive Garden menu)
Fastidious
Karen Horney (psychologist, accent on the last syllable, please.)
Splurge
Titrate
Lampoon
Twaddle
Woodcock-Johnson (eponym for a battery of tests to measure cognitive ability)
Pessary
Horehound
Horlick's (old trademark for malt products)
Mensa
Mensural
Occult blood (kinda reverse here, you'd think it's used in Satanic rituals...but that's got nothing to do with it!)
Pimpernel

LOL!!  My daughter and I were watching an episode of Spongebob and one of the characters said something like "I was supposed to be a classical pianist...".  My daughter's eyes got real big and she looked at me and asked "Did he say what I think he said?".  I had to explain what pianist meant. 



Heh heh!  So back at college we're working in a science lab and there's this English girl in the class.  She turns to me and says in forthright voice, "You got a rubber?"
I was about to say, "Uh, I don't know the custom in London, but around here we at least do dinner and movie first."
Then I remembered my "Let's Go!" guide glossary, and handed her an eraser.
-------- -------

I think the ophthalmologists made this acronym up for fun: PORN

"Well, Mr. Smith, it looks like you have PORN."
"Now see here, what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes is...."
"No, no, Progressive Outer Retinal Necrosis!"
"Oh."
:-[

BTW, that's basically eyeball rot.

piste

spoon

winkle

tinkle

wobbly

bubba

prick

piles

Volvo
What's bad about Volvo???(Up and down the freeway,'59 Volvo,'59,the best car on the highway,'59 Volvo,'59,you're going too slow,much too slow for my Volvo,Volvo,Volvo....)

How about the old NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle. Think he was teased as a kid.  ;D

How about the old NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle. Think he was teased as a kid.  ;D


Smack that roadblock, caught in a pickle
I'm gonna hit that line like ol' dick trickle

filet mignon

What's bad about Volvo???(Up and down the freeway,'59 Volvo,'59,the best car on the highway,'59 Volvo,'59,you're going too slow,much too slow for my Volvo,Volvo,Volvo....)



It sounds like vulva

whipped

bush

lap

lines

slather

spank

mandibular

peanuts

cock
shoved
lips

twat



Uhhh Howard.....that is a bad word.

Uhhh Howard.....that is a bad word.


Oh Sorry,I will erase it.

genitalia

It sounds like vulva
Not if you pronounce it properly...

crack

Not if you pronounce it properly...


How do you pronounce it properly?

"jigger" and "niggardly."

"niggardly" is an awesome word, completely unrelated etymologically to the big bad "n" word. but... try deploying it in conversation. just try.

"jigger" and "niggardly."

"niggardly" is an awesome word, completely unrelated etymologically to the big bad "n" word. but... try deploying it in conversation. just try.


Ok I will. ;D

sheeshzu

Beef Vindaloo

knockwurst

Farfeneugen

foxhole

miracle whip

hobnob

pussywillow

fartknocker

nugget

Back To The Future III was on a couple weeks back, and during the opening credits I noticed there was an actor named Pat Buttram.  ;D

Back To The Future III was on a couple weeks back, and during the opening credits I noticed there was an actor named Pat Buttram.  ;D


I wonder if he is anal retentive ;D

Slobberknocker

junkanoo

junkanoo

now that's a word I've never heard of. :-\\

I wonder what it means??

now that's a word I've never heard of. :-\\

I wonder what it means??
Junkanoo is a national festival in The Bahamas, the only place where it holds such an honor. There is even a museum showcasing Junkanoo costumes...

toehead

shmuck-a-luck. ;D

slamdunk

manhole

^ ;D


sphagnum

mudchute

the discharge museum in prickwillow.

Dipstick

dangle

upright

fudgenut. ;D

well, that actually sounds bad because it IS bad. :(

Cottonball.

fake

fartknocker

Ragamuffin

Wiffle

Jigger

block and tackle

Wang (In this case, a computer term)

several places in england, such as "dorking" and "mudchute," "prickwillow," and "the discharge museum."

several places in england, such as "dorking" and "mudchute," "prickwillow," and "the discharge museum."
There is a Mudchute on the London Underground System

There is a Mudchute on the London Underground System
http://www.squarewheels.org.uk/rly/DLRgenPhots/ISG-forked.jpg

Mudchute Station as the train approaches.

wood

poopdeck

not sure if I mentioned this before, but when I was a young lad in my teens, I had a friend and his younger brother's nickname was poopdeck. we all called him that & I have no idea why

Bum rush

(Where I'm from, this is the way to deal with drunken louts, before they can effectively mobilize)

Bum rush

(Where I'm from, this is the way to deal with drunken louts, before they can effectively mobilize)


that is frickin hilarious, man

Swoop 'n Squat

(Used in auto insurance scams)

shiz-net.

shaven

Shaved ice

Jugs

pussywillow.

Kumquat

humdinger

Droop

Dickering

crack

Boing

ripper

Niggardly (meaning miserly or ignorant)

innuendo