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Subject: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/01/08 at 5:18 am

This was on CNN.com, "Do you mommy your husband?"

and it got me to thinking...

What is considered too much or does it vary with each couple/each person? 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/30/mommy.husbands/index.html

Sometimes it feels like your mate is hinting that they want to be smothered/mothered, other times it feels like they'd rather be left alone.

Any thoughts?


Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Gis on 05/01/08 at 6:51 am

I always remember this bit in Coupling where one of the guys says he hates women to stay the night because they are like an octopus, arms wrapped round you everywhere. Himself and i cracked up as we are the complete opposite. I like loads of space round me and he is aways on my side of the bed wrapped all round me which I HATE.  ;D

Seriously though i do have a few friends whose marriages/relationships have failed because they did everything for their man and both sides ended up resenting it.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: ninny on 05/01/08 at 6:57 am

I'm not sure if Tim would consider it smothering (or mothering)..I think he expects me to make his breakfast and pack his lunch,make dinner..just like my dad they see themselves as the "bread winner",so the wife is expected to do that,thou when we were both working it did bother me that I had to work plus do things that I thought he was capable of (like make his own lunch)
Frankly since my stroke I think he is doing the smothering,I was lucky if he did the dishes once in 16 years,now he's done them 3 times in the last 2 months :)

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: KKay on 05/01/08 at 7:02 am


I always remember this bit in Coupling where one of the guys says he hates women to stay the night because they are like an octopus, arms wrapped round you everywhere. Himself and i cracked up


;D ;D Love it. (the show and the comment- was it connected to "the unflushable"?)

I know I do.  He has no idea what life would be like if I stopped doing all those things that I do.  Some of it is to keep the whining at a minimum, some is out of love, some is out of conveninence. 

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: ultraviolet52 on 05/01/08 at 12:04 pm

There are times I don't mind being cuddled and held, and other times I'm just all about business. I think our relationship is very balanced, though. We both give each other just the right amount of cuddling and holding hands. We both don't ask to be smothered. I was once in a relationship that smothering was something I realized I did not like to be the recipient of. I felt like a baby, lol.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 05/01/08 at 1:50 pm

smothering is not cool. :(

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Howard on 05/01/08 at 3:22 pm

When Robin and I were seeing each other,I guess I smothered her too much but sometimes she liked it.I loved her a lot and I shown my affection towards her.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: snozberries on 05/01/08 at 9:15 pm



remember the term is brotherly love not motherly love nor is it smotherly love.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Howard on 05/02/08 at 7:18 am

What about otherly love?

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: karen on 05/02/08 at 7:56 am


What about otherly love?


That might be illegal!

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: snozberries on 05/02/08 at 11:58 pm


That might be illegal!


but it shouldn't be... unless it involves animals...cuz that's just wrong!  ;D

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Howard on 05/03/08 at 6:57 am


but it shouldn't be... unless it involves animals...cuz that's just wrong!  ;D


unless you call your pets your mate. ;D

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Philip Eno on 05/04/08 at 8:52 am

It is the words "smothering your mate" that put me off this thread...

with a pillow?

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: KKay on 05/04/08 at 8:54 am

I prefer doting.  You can give me hugs and kisses and call me kissy-face and pumpkin all day.  I love it.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Howard on 05/04/08 at 5:07 pm


It is the words "smothering your mate" that put me off this thread...

with a pillow?


That's even worse.  :o

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/04/08 at 9:00 pm

I guess smothering is in the eye of the beholder (unless you are physically holding a pillow over your mate's head).  ;D

The article said something about if you got your mate's pills and something to drink for them, then that's mothering.  Well I have to do that, otherwise he often forgets and then we have to think back and recall if he actually took the pill or if I remember seeing him take the pill.  aaarrrgh!
In my situation, it's easier if I just be nurse and make sure the medication gets taken.

I guess as long as I don't cut up his meat for him, we'll be ok.  ;D

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Bobby on 05/06/08 at 4:09 pm


It is the words "smothering your mate" that put me off this thread...

with a pillow?


Ha ha.  ;D

'Smothering' depends on the dynamic of the relationship and whether the two people involved like their roles as 'smotherer' and 'smotheree'.

I had a conversation with someone recently who said; 'I want a woman so they can help me change and motivate myself' and I promised him that 'a woman will not change you, only you can change you for the better'.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/06/08 at 11:11 pm


I had a conversation with someone recently who said; 'I want a woman so they can help me change and motivate myself' and I promised him that 'a woman will not change you, only you can change you for the better'.



I could be really cheeky and crude and mention that for those that are into that...they do make adult sized diapers.  8-P  So technically if both parties agree, you could be changed by your partner.  8-P

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Bobby on 05/07/08 at 5:24 am


I could be really cheeky and crude and mention that for those that are into that...they do make adult sized diapers.   8-P  So technically if both parties agree, you could be changed by your partner.   8-P


I hope he didn't want a woman to change him physically, though nothing surprises me anymore, lmao!!!  ;D

There are certain men who do love that and I believe those kind of people have childhood issues that need resolving to some degree or other.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Howard on 05/07/08 at 7:01 am



I could be really cheeky and crude and mention that for those that are into that...they do make adult sized diapers.   8-P  So technically if both parties agree, you could be changed by your partner.   8-P


There is a fetish for that.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Philip Eno on 05/07/08 at 7:05 am


There is a fetish for that.
I do not wish to know that.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Bobby on 05/07/08 at 7:08 am


There is a fetish for that.


I saw it as part of a telly documentary once. Unbelievable, lol.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Howard on 05/07/08 at 7:30 am


I saw it as part of a telly documentary once. Unbelievable, lol.


Did you like it?

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Philip Eno on 05/07/08 at 8:31 am


I saw it as part of a telly documentary once. Unbelievable, lol.
Was it on Channel 4 or a Jerry Springer Show?

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Bobby on 05/07/08 at 10:31 am


Did you like it?


Yep, turned me on.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Bobby on 05/07/08 at 10:33 am


Was it on Channel 4 or a Jerry Springer Show?


I think it was a Channel 4 thing, it was quite weird watching grown men being breastfed and nappy changed *shudder*.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 05/07/08 at 11:15 am

Carlos & I are very affectionate towards each other. In the morning when we are sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, if he gets up and walks by me, he will put his hand on my shoulder. When I head downstairs to get a refill or something, I always make it a point to ask him if he wants something and I always give him a kiss/hug before I go down. At night, we snuggle a lot-both of us on our sides but sometimes in different directions. Sometimes his arms are wrapped around me and sometimes my arms are wrapped around him. The funny thing is, Carlos is the ONLY person in my entire life that I felt that comfortable with that I could snuggle at night with.


As for mothering him? I confess, I do somewhat.  :-[  Every night I will ask him if he has taken his meds. This serves two purposes really. 1.) a reminder to him. 2.) a reminder to me-as I'm reminding him to take his meds, it reminds me to take my own. I also give him "honey do" lists ("Honey, do this. Honey do that.")

But he does treat me like a Goddess.



Cat

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: Bobby on 05/07/08 at 11:23 am


Carlos & I are very affectionate towards each other. In the morning when we are sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, if he gets up and walks by me, he will put his hand on my shoulder. When I head downstairs to get a refill or something, I always make it a point to ask him if he wants something and I always give him a kiss/hug before I go down. At night, we snuggle a lot-both of us on our sides but sometimes in different directions. Sometimes his arms are wrapped around me and sometimes my arms are wrapped around him. The funny thing is, Carlos is the ONLY person in my entire life that I felt that comfortable with that I could snuggle at night with.

As for mothering him? I confess, I do somewhat.  :-[  Every night I will ask him if he has taken his meds. This serves two purposes really. 1.) a reminder to him. 2.) a reminder to me-as I'm reminding him to take his meds, it reminds me to take my own. I also give him "honey do" lists ("Honey, do this. Honey do that.")

But he does treat me like a Goddess.


Well cool, Cat.  8)

That's not mothering, that's just being lovely. I consider mothering to be a stifling experience that doesn't allow me to be an independent person.

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 05/07/08 at 11:37 am


Well cool, Cat.  8)

That's not mothering, that's just being lovely. I consider mothering to be a stifling experience that doesn't allow me to be an independent person.



Well, this is one thing that I do nag him about.  :-X



Cat

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/07/08 at 11:39 am



Well, this is one thing that I do nag him about.  :-X



Cat


Chandelier bulb replacement?  Is he behind in changing bulbs again?  ;)

Subject: Re: How much is too much in showing affection/smothering your mate?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 05/07/08 at 12:04 pm


Chandelier bulb replacement?  Is he behind in changing bulbs again?  ;)



Oh man, here is that chandelier incident again.  :D ;D ;D




Cat

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