inthe00s
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Subject: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 07/31/10 at 6:07 pm


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 07/31/10 at 6:48 pm


Do witches run spell checkers?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 07/31/10 at 9:07 pm


What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 7:51 am


Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/01/10 at 8:17 am



Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?


...or in silent movies?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/01/10 at 9:59 am



Do witches run spell checkers?






Yes, we do.  ;)



Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 10:41 am



Do witches run spell checkers?


Yes, we do.  ;)



Cat




I figured that this post would have gotten a response from you, Cat.  ;) Tell me, how exactly do you check them?  Or is that a trade secret?  ???



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 10:57 am


Does killing time damage eternity?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/01/10 at 11:04 am




I figured that this post would have gotten a response from you, Cat.   ;) Tell me, how exactly do you check them?  Or is that a trade secret?   ???








There are several answers to this question.  ;)




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 11:44 am




There are several answers to this question.  ;)




Cat




That is probably because there are several questions on my posting.  ;)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Paul on 08/01/10 at 11:50 am

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/01/10 at 11:51 am


What was the best thing before sliced bread?
A loaf of bread?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:16 pm



What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?




Go To Heaven?  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:17 pm



Does killing time damage eternity?




No,It slows up.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:17 pm


A loaf of bread?


the crust? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/01/10 at 12:19 pm


the crust? ???
The crust comes with the bread when cooked.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:20 pm


The crust comes with the bread when cooked.


I always like the crust.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/01/10 at 12:21 pm


I always like the crust.
You do get more crust on the ends of the loaf of bread.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:22 pm


You do get more crust on the ends of the loaf of bread.


It's crispier when put in the toaster.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/01/10 at 12:25 pm


It's crispier when put in the toaster.
Harder to crunch with your teeth!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:26 pm


Harder to crunch with your teeth!


Only when it's softer.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/01/10 at 12:27 pm


Only when it's softer.
If it is soft, it will not be crispy?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/01/10 at 12:28 pm


If it is soft, it will not be crispy?



right,when it's toasted.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 1:51 pm



right,when it's toasted.




Are you two quite done toasting each other?  ;D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 1:58 pm


How did a fool and his money get together?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/01/10 at 2:04 pm



How did a fool and his money get together?





He made money the old fashion way-he inherited it.




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/01/10 at 2:37 pm


How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/02/10 at 6:26 am



How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?




You don't know,it's invisible.  ;D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 2:00 pm


You don't know,it's invisible.  ;D


  ::) Inaccurate - There is a way - sniff along the paper until you no longer smell ink.  It's like some things, you can smell them but you just can't see them.  ::)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 2:14 pm


How do you throw away a garbage can?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/02/10 at 2:17 pm



How do you throw away a garbage can?




Into a larger garbage can...such as a dumpster?

Might not be the right answer...only an educated guess.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 2:20 pm


After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/02/10 at 2:21 pm



How do you throw away a garbage can?







We had that happen one time. We kept it out there for the garbage man to take away and he kept leaving it there.




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/02/10 at 3:08 pm



After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?



He-He!!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 4:27 pm




We had that happen one time. We kept it out there for the garbage man to take away and he kept leaving it there.




Cat


You should have put a sign on it that said - to da dump to da dump to da dump dump dump...    :D


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 4:30 pm


How do you get off a nonstop flight?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/02/10 at 5:27 pm



How do you get off a nonstop flight?






Very carefully?




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 5:31 pm


How many weeks are there in a light year?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/02/10 at 6:49 pm



How do you throw away a garbage can?





Wait till the Sanitation comes?  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/02/10 at 6:50 pm



How do you get off a nonstop flight?





talk to the flight attendant?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 7:01 pm


talk to the flight attendant?



One thing that does come to mind is a parachute.  ::)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/02/10 at 7:02 pm



One thing that does come to mind is a parachute.  ::)





Is that possible?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 7:12 pm



Is that possible?



Possibly... :D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/02/10 at 7:15 pm


Is the nose the scenter of the face?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/03/10 at 12:13 am



Is the nose the scenter of the face?



Sure, that's why it's in the middle of the face! :D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/03/10 at 1:30 am



How do you get off a nonstop flight?



When the planes lands at it's destination.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/03/10 at 1:31 am



How many weeks are there in a light year?


52.24 light weeks. Don't forget the extra day every fourth light year making it a leap light year.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/03/10 at 5:29 am



Is the nose the scenter of the face?




I believe it is.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/03/10 at 12:54 pm


When the planes lands at it's destination.



But it's NON-STOP!  Do we just wait until it runs out of fuel and crashes?  :D


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/03/10 at 1:45 pm



But it's NON-STOP!  Do we just wait until it runs out of fuel and crashes?  :D


It will at that point when the plane will guide on to the airport runway...

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/03/10 at 2:58 pm



But it's NON-STOP!  Do we just wait until it runs out of fuel and crashes?  :D






That's the only choice.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/03/10 at 4:16 pm


It will at that point when the plane will guide on to the airport runway...




Jet airliners don't glide very well.  ;)  In fact they drop like a rock when the engines stop.  :o

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/04/10 at 1:18 am




Jet airliners don't glide very well.  ;)  In fact they drop like a rock when the engines stop.  :o


Not that plane on the River Hudson a few years ago.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 4:08 am


Not that plane on the River Hudson a few years ago.



There is always an exxception to the rule, except for that rule that says that there are no exceptions to the rule.  ::) Anyway I believe that the jetliner had some power to its engines.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 4:22 am


If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 10:03 am


Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/07/10 at 3:00 pm



Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?






someone who's dumb enough to use facial cleanser?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 3:28 pm


Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?    :-\\


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/07/10 at 3:29 pm



Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?    :-\\



Deep fried?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/07/10 at 3:29 pm



Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?    :-\\





could be dangerous.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 4:05 pm


Deep fried?



Flame broiled.



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/07/10 at 4:11 pm



Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?    :-\\



Should health and safety risks be considered first?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 4:15 pm


Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/07/10 at 4:15 pm



Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?




Does it matter?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 4:16 pm


Should health and safety risks be considered first?



Yes, by all means, you could burn the meat so that it would be inedible.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 4:17 pm


Does it matter?



I guess not, since it would shut him up permanently.  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/07/10 at 10:09 pm



Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?






someone who's dumb enough to use facial cleanser?

The "oxy" part always reminds me of facial cleanser.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: wildcard on 08/07/10 at 10:17 pm

reminds me of the oxy 10 commericial  in which you would oxycute em

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/08/10 at 12:29 am


How is it possible to have a "civil" war?



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/08/10 at 12:40 am



How is it possible to have a "civil" war?




A war when paper balls are thrown at each other?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/08/10 at 7:03 am



Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?






No,A .38 caliber

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/08/10 at 9:44 am


People lose weight everyday.  Why does no one ever find it and if they did should they then take it to the lost and found? 


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/08/10 at 1:36 pm



People lose weight everyday.  Why does no one ever find it and if they did should they then take it to the lost and found? 




Next question, where does it disappear to? If that cannot be answered, then no wonder it gets lost!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/08/10 at 3:11 pm


Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/08/10 at 6:59 pm



Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?





I don't get that one, Do you mean algae bra? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/08/10 at 10:59 pm


I don't get that one, Do you mean algae bra? ???

That's probably it. ;)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/09/10 at 6:56 am


That's probably it. ;)


I think her outfit is covered in seaweed.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/09/10 at 5:25 pm


Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/10/10 at 5:33 am



Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?






How much is the pay? :D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/10/10 at 6:11 am



How much is the pay? :D



The pay starting out is a buck two eighty an hour. ???


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/10/10 at 8:02 am


How do you write zero in Roman numerals?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/10/10 at 3:13 pm



The pay starting out is a buck two eighty an hour. ???





I can make more than that. :P

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/10/10 at 4:31 pm


I can make more than that. :P

A buck two-eighty; now I'm confused. Is it $1, or $2.80? Or is it $3.80 (added together)? :D ;)

Never mind...

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/11/10 at 4:25 am


Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/11/10 at 6:58 am



Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?





Yes I guess.  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/11/10 at 1:55 pm


Do vegans eat animal crackers?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/11/10 at 3:57 pm


Yes I guess.  ???

Yeah, if you misinterpret them...

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/11/10 at 7:10 pm



Do vegans eat animal crackers?





No,I don't think they do.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/11/10 at 10:04 pm


No,I don't think they do.

I only know they don't eat meat.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/12/10 at 7:04 am


Is a sleeping bull called a bull-dozer?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/12/10 at 7:11 am



Is a sleeping bull called a bull-dozer?





Yes.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/12/10 at 11:44 am


How do I set my laser printer on stun?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/13/10 at 5:05 pm



How do you write zero in Roman numerals?



Zero never existed in roman times.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/13/10 at 6:38 pm


Zero never existed in roman times.



You are correct and I've often wondered how the Romans built their infrastructure without the use of a zero for doing calculations. 

Who invented zero?

Zero was invented by Aryabhata

In around 500AD Aryabhata devised a number system which has no zero yet was a positional system. He used the word "kha" for position and it would be used later as the name for zero. There is evidence that a dot had been used in earlier Indian manuscripts to denote an empty place in positional notation. It is interesting that the same documents sometimes also used a dot to denote an unknown where we might use x. Later Indian mathematicians had names for zero in positional numbers yet had no symbol for it. The first record of the Indian use of zero which is dated and agreed by all to be genuine was written in 876

Wonder what Nally has to say about this?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 5:22 am


Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/14/10 at 5:53 am



Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?



Does that include the holes that can fill the Royal Albert Hall?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 5:59 am


Does that include the holes that can fill the Royal Albert Hall?



Sorry, I am not familiar with "Royal Albert Hall".  I have no clue. ???  Help a Yank out please?  And please while you're at it I have always wandered.  Do they really keep Prince Albert in a can?  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/14/10 at 6:02 am



Sorry, I am not familiar with "Royal Albert Hall".  I have no clue. ???  Help a Yank out please?



In "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles, the lyrics feature,
"I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes
it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on"

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 6:07 am


In "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles, the lyrics feature,
"I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes
it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on"



I'm not familiar with those particular Beatles lyrics, but just the same thanks for clearing that up.  One learns something new each day,  ;)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/14/10 at 6:43 am



Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?





What holes? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Dagwood on 08/14/10 at 8:45 am


What holes? ???


The holes that are all filled with dirt.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Dagwood on 08/14/10 at 8:45 am


In "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles, the lyrics feature,
"I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes
it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on"


Love that song

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/14/10 at 10:40 am


Does that include the holes that can fill the Royal Albert Hall?



I was going to say that.



Love that song



Me, too.



Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Frank on 08/14/10 at 3:07 pm



I was going to say that.



Me, too.



Cat

A day in the life. Classic!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 3:54 pm


A day in the life. Classic!



Oh, that song.  Yeah I know it.  I just didn't recognise the lyrics.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/14/10 at 10:09 pm



Oh, that song.  Yeah I know it.  I just didn't recognise the lyrics.




I didn't either at first, because I haven't memorized all the words to every Beatles song I've heard. But I have heard the song in question a few times.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 11:39 pm


Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/15/10 at 6:59 am



Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?





What do jellyfish eat?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 7:13 am


What do jellyfish eat?



Seafood - they see food and they eat it.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/15/10 at 7:25 am



Seafood - they see food and they eat it.





like shrimp and other fishes.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 7:54 am


like shrimp and other fishes.



If you absolutely need to know their diet, check this link:


http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_type_of_diet_do_jellyfish_have

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 8:14 am


Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/15/10 at 8:32 am



Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?




Yes, you can. Some of the shops will have taken a set at one time or another and will offer it for sale, but it is uncommon. There are pawn shops that have an e-business site, and you can shop them online, or drop them an email to see if they have a set in stock.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 9:14 am


Yes, you can. Some of the shops will have taken a set at one time or another and will offer it for sale, but it is uncommon. There are pawn shops that have an e-business site, and you can shop them online, or drop them an email to see if they have a set in stock.



OK - Let's not pawntificate on the matter...  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/15/10 at 10:33 am

Why do we still call it silverware when it is not made out of silver anymore? Shouldn't we call it "stainless steel ware?"




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 11:42 am


Why do we still call it silverware when it is not made out of silver anymore? Shouldn't we call it "stainless steel ware?"




Cat



I just call it hardware.  ;) Yeah, and how many people could afford a set of sterling silver dinner ware?  >:( The economy says that the money should be spent for more sensible things.  :-\\


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/15/10 at 1:48 pm



Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?





Or maybe one-half of a total set of chessmen?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 2:08 pm


Do you think that when George Washington had to make a decision he took a quarter out of his pocket, tossed it into the air and declared "tails or me"?



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Bobo on 08/15/10 at 2:11 pm



Do you think that when George Washington had to make a decision he took a quarter out of his pocket, tossed it into the air and declared "tails or me"?


Or for that matter whether he felt pain when it fell on the side with his head on it...

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 2:15 pm


Or for that matter whether he felt pain when it fell on the side with his head on it...



What?  The quarter or George?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/15/10 at 2:35 pm


Or for that matter whether he felt pain when it fell on the side with his head on it...

Is it the same pain the Queen feels when she tosses a British coin?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Bobo on 08/15/10 at 2:36 pm


Is it the same pain the Queen feels when she tosses a British coin?

Precisely!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/15/10 at 3:12 pm


Is it the same pain the Queen feels when she tosses a British coin?



What if it's a King George shilling?  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/16/10 at 4:20 am


How can the words 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean the opposite?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/18/10 at 12:26 pm


What if these were the Country Western chart toppers of the week?

THE TOP COUNTRY & WESTERN SONGS THIS WEEK


7.  I Never Went To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

6.  If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

5.  Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause She Might Win.

4.  I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

3.  She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2.  She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.


And the Number One Country & Western song is...

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day 


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/20/10 at 4:45 am


Do mass murderers kill only in church?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/20/10 at 6:56 am



Do mass murderers kill only in church?





No,they're everywhere.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/20/10 at 7:25 am


At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/20/10 at 7:38 am



At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?





I think both.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/20/10 at 7:54 am


I think both.


One sure way that you can have both arm rests in a theater is to not bathe for about two weeks or eat a bunch of garlic.  ::)  8-P


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/20/10 at 11:25 am



One sure way that you can have both arm rests in a theater is to not bathe for about two weeks or eat a bunch of garlic.  ::)  8-P






That's a sure way to have the entire theatre to yourself.




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/20/10 at 11:35 am



That's a sure way to have the entire theatre to yourself.




Cat


Yeah Cat, you are most likely right about that.  Take charge, be offensive!  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/20/10 at 12:53 pm



At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?



Both of them!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/20/10 at 3:22 pm



One sure way that you can have both arm rests in a theater is to not bathe for about two weeks or eat a bunch of garlic.  ::)  8-P





or spill something on it.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/20/10 at 3:22 pm


or spill something on it.

What, the arm rest? Then no one will wanna use it!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/20/10 at 3:23 pm


What, the arm rest? Then no one will wanna use it!


that's the point.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/20/10 at 6:38 pm


that's the point.


Although it is somewhat logical but highly irregular...


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/20/10 at 7:43 pm


Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/20/10 at 11:38 pm



Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?



Now that would be lying!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/21/10 at 5:19 am



Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?





Yes.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 6:13 am


Now that would be lying!


What if you lie on the couch? ???  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 6:14 am


Yes.


How do you know?  Please explain...


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/21/10 at 6:16 am



What if you lie on the couch? ???  ::)



Lie about being on bed?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 7:06 am


Lie about being on bed?


OK - That works for me.  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/21/10 at 7:22 am



OK - That works for me.  ::)



Lie on the floor?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 7:49 am


Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?  It's cheaper just to drink from the garden hose.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/21/10 at 7:52 am



Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?  It's cheaper just to drink from the garden hose.



Drinking from the kitchen tap (faucet) is cheaper!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 8:32 am


Drinking from the kitchen tap (faucet) is cheaper!


When the sun sets over the ocean, does the ocean put it out?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/21/10 at 2:58 pm



What if you lie on the couch? ???  ::)





It's the couch's fault.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/21/10 at 2:59 pm



Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?  It's cheaper just to drink from the garden hose.





It costs less.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 3:34 pm


It's the couch's fault.


It's the potato on the couch that I wonder about.  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/21/10 at 3:44 pm



It's the potato on the couch that I wonder about.   ::)





like a couch potato?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 4:15 pm


like a couch potato?


No, the one that's in the back of your pants... What do you think?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/21/10 at 4:57 pm


Should a teacher give a homeless student homework?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 1:02 am



Should a teacher give a homeless student homework?



Yes, everyone all still has to learn.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 7:01 am


Yes, everyone all still has to learn.


Where would the student do the homework? ???


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 7:02 am



Where would the student do the homework? ???



In the school library?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/22/10 at 7:07 am



Should a teacher give a homeless student homework?





I'm not sure.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 7:45 am


Did people call Robin Hood’s mom Mother Hood?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/22/10 at 7:55 am



Did people call Robin Hood’s mom Mother Hood?





Did he have friends In The Hood?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 8:27 am


Did he have friends In The Hood?


He was the Hood.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 8:49 am



Did people call Robin Hood’s mom Mother Hood?



Mrs Hood?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 9:11 am



He was the Hood.



The original hoodie ?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 9:15 am


Mrs Hood?

They'd also call his wife Mrs. Hood.  And any of his brother's wives Mrs. Hood.  So wouldn't that get really confusing? ???

It would be like if they were all together and some one said, "Mrs. Hood"?  You'd get something like - "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?   


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 9:17 am



They'd also call his wife Mrs. Hood.  And any of his brother's wives Mrs. Hood.  So wouldn't that get really confusing? ???

It would be like if they were all together and some one said, "Mrs. Hood"?  You'd get something like - "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?  "Yes"?   



Miss Hood for his sister ?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 9:18 am


Miss Hood for his sister ?

Did he even have a sister?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 9:20 am



Did he even have a sister?



I have to check the annuls of history (and the Internet).

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 9:21 am


How come you never hear father in law jokes?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 9:22 am



How come you never hear father in law jokes?



The comedians would not dare too!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/22/10 at 9:22 am



Did people call Robin Hood’s mom Mother Hood?



btw, many references point to a 1225 reference to a Robert Hod. History shows that York sought a criminal by that name; even putting a bounty on his head of 32 shillings and 6 pence. Unfortunately, there is no further reference of the man's specific crimes or anything to prove whether or not he was ever captured; making it impossible to determine whether or not he was the anti-hero.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/22/10 at 2:09 pm



Did he even have a sister?





Robin?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/22/10 at 2:34 pm


Robin?


Robin Hood was female?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/22/10 at 11:49 pm



Robin Hood was female?




Well, the name Robin can apply to either gender. A variant spelling of the name, Robyn, is usually for females, but I once knew a boy who spelt his name like that.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/23/10 at 1:23 am



Robin Hood was female?



How does account for Maid Marian then?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/23/10 at 3:44 am


Do stuttering people stutter when they’re thinking to themselves?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/23/10 at 6:47 am



Robin Hood was female?





I don't know,I was asking you?  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/23/10 at 6:48 am



Do stuttering people stutter when they’re thinking to themselves?





They stutter.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/23/10 at 5:53 pm


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/23/10 at 6:50 pm



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?




depends on the size of the car.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/24/10 at 11:00 am


depends on the size of the car.

Probably wouldn't need to take the freeway anyway if the burial site is nearby where the funeral took place.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/24/10 at 5:21 pm


Probably wouldn't need to take the freeway anyway if the burial site is nearby where the funeral took place.


I'm dying to find out...  :D


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/24/10 at 6:21 pm


Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/24/10 at 6:46 pm



Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?





Capt.Crunch?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/24/10 at 7:14 pm


Where's the egg in an egg roll?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/24/10 at 7:23 pm



Where's the egg in an egg roll?





I think it's deep fried.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/24/10 at 7:57 pm


Is drilling for oil boring?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/24/10 at 10:37 pm



Is drilling for oil boring?




Could be, if you do it all day for a living...

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/25/10 at 1:28 am



Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?



yes!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/25/10 at 4:19 am


How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/25/10 at 6:49 am



How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?





100

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/25/10 at 1:02 pm



How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?



In the UK, to be an old age pensioner you have to 65 if male or 60 if female.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/25/10 at 1:08 pm


In the UK, to be an old age pensioner you have to 65 if male or 60 if female.



That's interesting that it is different for male & female. What is the reason for that?




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/25/10 at 1:11 pm



That's interesting that it is different for male & female. What is the reason for that?




Cat
I have always wondered that too, for women statistically live longer than men.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/25/10 at 4:37 pm


Do fish get thirsty?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/25/10 at 4:59 pm


I have always wondered that too, for women statistically live longer than men.

Is that so? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/25/10 at 6:52 pm



Do fish get thirsty?





Yeah I'm pretty sure they do.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/25/10 at 11:11 pm


Yeah I'm pretty sure they do.

Even in all that water they swim around in? You'd think it'd keep their bodies hydrated.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/26/10 at 1:39 am


Is that so? ???
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/images/charts/168.gif
Life expectancy at birth, UK, from period life tables, 1980-82 to 2006-08

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/26/10 at 1:39 am


http://www.statistics.gov.uk/images/charts/168.gif
Life expectancy at birth, UK, from period life tables, 1980-82 to 2006-08
Please note that the males are catching up!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/26/10 at 6:50 am


Even in all that water they swim around in? You'd think it'd keep their bodies hydrated.


They must or they'll get dehydrated.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/26/10 at 1:33 pm


They must or they'll get dehydrated.
Water can be lost from the gills by osmosis.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/26/10 at 1:36 pm


Water can be lost from the gills by osmosis.

One of the many things I learned in biology class but could not fully comprehend. :-\\

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/26/10 at 1:37 pm


One of the many things I learned in biology class but could not fully comprehend. :-\\
I wish I paid more attention in my biology class

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/26/10 at 6:15 pm


I wish I paid more attention in my biology class

I tried to, but I often had a short attention span, and my mind often seemed to wander.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/26/10 at 6:56 pm


I tried to, but I often had a short attention span, and my mind often seemed to wander.


Me too,Math wasn't my best subject.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/26/10 at 6:57 pm


Me too,Math wasn't my best subject.

But the opposite was true for me. I loved math, and struggled in other areas.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/26/10 at 7:02 pm


But the opposite was true for me. I loved math, and struggled in other areas.


History was ok for me.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/27/10 at 5:41 am


But the opposite was true for me. I loved math, and struggled in other areas.


Nally - You want some fun math?  Try subnetting IP addresses.  You have to think in decimal, binary and some hexidecimal if dealing with converting MAC address values to what IP they are tied to or vice versa, all at once.  I just finished mapping out an entire network.  I spent three days on it.  Now I have to proof my work and find and correct errors.  The people who are asking for it barely understand it and didn't really know how to ask for what they wanted.  They had specifics of what they needed and expected me to be a mind reader.  I failed mind reading 101.  Too boot I can't get one of them to look at it to see if the picture in the computer is the same as the picture in their collective minds.  And they want it yesterday. They want about a dozen network properties and identifying info all tied up nice and neat in one spreadsheet.  The model blank spread sheet they gave me I sh*t canned.  It was totally convoluted. I built my own.

They better not come back and tell me they want it another way since I've been bugging them to look at a sample since Tuesday of day one.  I know that my boss won't put up with their BS. 


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Frank on 08/27/10 at 10:18 am


Me too,Math wasn't my best subject.

Math was just about my best subject.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/27/10 at 11:10 am

^^ With regards to IP addresses: I've noticed that the four different numbers comprising them involve decimal, binary, and hexadecimal. On that note, I know that one can convert between binary and hex pretty easily, while decimal (base 10) not quite as much. But I do know that it can be done, since I'm good with math, and one of the computer sci classes I took had us do that sort of thing at the beginning.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/27/10 at 2:47 pm


^^ With regards to IP addresses: I've noticed that the four different numbers comprising them involve decimal, binary, and hexadecimal. On that note, I know that one can convert between binary and hex pretty easily, while decimal (base 10) not quite as much. But I do know that it can be done, since I'm good with math, and one of the computer sci classes I took had us do that sort of thing at the beginning.




Decimal to binary or vice versa is actually the easiest.  It's powers of two. I use my fingers alot.  In decimal we increment from units 1, ten 10, then 100 then 1000 etc just by adding one more zero.  In binary everytime a power is escallated the decimal equivelent doubles.  So if you could remember doubling it makes it easy.  I have these doubling decimal numbers in my head since I've done this so many times.

1        1
2        10
4        100
8        1000
16      0001 0000
32      0010 0000
64      0100 0000
128      1000 0000
512      0001 0000 0000
1024    0010 0000 0000
2048    0100 0000 0000
4096    1000 0000 0000
8192    0001 0000 0000 0000

So I will use the number 1 for a finger that is significant up and a zero for a finger that is not.

So counting to sixteen in binary would look like this.

1 = 1
10 = 2
11 = 3
100 = 4
101 = 5
110 = 6
111 = 7
1000 = 8
1001 = 9
1010 = 10
1011 = 11
1100 = 12
1101 = 13
1110 = 14
1111 = 15
10000 = 16

8  4  2  1
1  1  1  1

From this if I wanted to know what 5 was in binary I would count zero on my first finger which would represent 8 since 8 is larger than 5 it would not count.  Then I would count 1 on my second finger since 4 is less than five it would count and become a binary 1.  The third finger would represent 2 in decimal.  Add 4 + 2 and get 6.  6 is greater than 5 so finger three would not count and become a binary 0.  The forth finger would represent 1 in decimal and since 4 + 1 = 5 I would have found the binary number to be 0101.  Discount binary numbers that by themselves or added with another from left to right are greater than the decimal number that you want.  Count only the numbers that alone are equal to the decimal number or added together are equal to the decimal number you want.  In this case the second 1 from the left and the number at the far right added together equals 5.

8 4 2 1  4+1=5
0 1 0 1  Binary third power plus binary first power added together equal 5 in decimal.

After a while you run out of fingers and then just use pen and paper.  If added up combinations are greater than the decimal number you are trying to convert to binary, discount the last number that was added on the right and take half of that number and add it to the accumulating sum from the next number on the right.  If that new number is less than the decimal number you are trying to convert count it, if not then discount it again.  Keep doing this until the decimal number accumulating is equal to the binary number you are solving for then fill what remains  with zeros.  Hint - even binary numbers always end in zero and odd binary numbers always end in 1.  So if you are one number short of the decimal number no matter where you are in the binary string simply fill with zeros until the last character on the right and then write a one.

Example convert 65 to binary'  Using the powers of two or doubling you would know fairly quickly that the seventh number from the left would be a one.  So you would write a 1 which would represent 64.  You would then know that you would only need to write a binary 1 to get to 65 so you could quickly fill the next six binary numbers with zeros and write a 1 for the last digit.  so you would have 0001 0000 0001 to equal 65 decimal.  There was no need to add all those middle zeros and always coming up with a number greater than 65.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/27/10 at 2:49 pm


Me too,Math wasn't my best subject.
Maths was my best subject!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/27/10 at 2:50 pm

Seagulls fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay instead, would they be called bagels?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/27/10 at 3:02 pm


Seagulls fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay instead, would they be called bagels?


If the bay the seagulls who are now called bagels had flood control, they could be called bagels with locks.  You'll have to provide your own cream cheese.  ;)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/27/10 at 3:15 pm



If the bay the seagulls who are now called bagels had flood control, they could be called bagels with locks.  You'll have to provide your own cream cheese.   ;)





;D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 12:25 am


Are part-time band leaders considered to be semi-conductors?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/28/10 at 7:15 am



Are part-time band leaders considered to be semi-conductors?





What about full timers?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 7:46 am


What about full timers?


No one has been able to go full time - their arms get too tired and sore.  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/28/10 at 7:54 am



No one has been able to go full time - their arms get too tired and sore.  ::)





I know mine would.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 8:46 am


Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/28/10 at 11:55 am



Are part-time band leaders considered to be semi-conductors?




good one ;)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/28/10 at 12:36 pm



Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?






Yes,all the time.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/29/10 at 2:42 pm


Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/29/10 at 2:43 pm



Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?



All of those Phillips screwdriver belong to me!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/29/10 at 4:20 pm


All of those Phillips screwdriver belong to me!

Those are the ones with cross-shaped heads; the other kind is the flathead screwdriver.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/29/10 at 6:04 pm



Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?





Phillip owns screwdrivers.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 2:08 am


Phillip owns screwdrivers.
Yes, I have a few.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 2:08 am


Yes, I have a few.
...one screwdriver is not enough!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 4:07 am


Are female moths called myths?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 7:00 am



Are female moths called myths?





I don't know what they're called?  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 7:10 am



Are female moths called myths?



Mothettes?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 7:11 am


Mothettes?


There are no female moths.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/30/10 at 1:03 pm


There are no female moths.

Are you sure?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 1:49 pm


Are you sure?


I always thought they were all male.  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/30/10 at 1:52 pm


I always thought they were all male.  ???



But if they were all male, how could they...oh nevermind.




Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 1:54 pm



But if they were all male, how could they...oh nevermind.




Cat



nevermind is right.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 4:19 pm


I don't know, Howard may be on to something.  I know there are moth balls, but has anyone ever heard of moth overies?  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 5:14 pm


Can fat people go skinny-dipping?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/31/10 at 5:49 am



Can fat people go skinny-dipping?






yeah sure why not.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/31/10 at 2:04 pm



Can fat people go skinny-dipping?



Yes, let them!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 08/31/10 at 3:10 pm


Yes, let them!


Yeah why not?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 08/31/10 at 4:56 pm


Is it possible to be totally partial?



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 08/31/10 at 10:55 pm


Yeah why not?

People of any size should be able to do so.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 09/01/10 at 4:37 am


What’s another word for synonym?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/01/10 at 7:07 am



Is it possible to be totally partial?







Yes.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/01/10 at 1:07 pm



What’s another word for synonym?



sameness ?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 09/01/10 at 5:26 pm



What’s another word for synonym?




You know, the very first time I heard the word (I was about 8 years old or so), I instantly thought of "cinnamon" which is completely unrelated.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/01/10 at 7:01 pm


sameness ?


antonym?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 09/01/10 at 7:17 pm


antonym?

No, that word means opposite.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:14 am


How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/03/10 at 7:11 am



How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?





when you get Alzheimer's Disease.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 1:13 pm



How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?



I can be done by research, but you have to know place of birth and the given name at birth

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 1:14 pm


Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/03/10 at 2:53 pm



Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?





maybe.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 2:57 pm



Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?



Half-life is a gradual decay, so therefore it must be more than 18.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 09/03/10 at 3:03 pm



Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?





Half-life is a gradual decay, so therefore it must be more than 18.

Probably much more. But half-life is defined as how long it takes for half of a radioactive substance to decay.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:21 pm


Probably much more. But half-life is defined as how long it takes for half of a radioactive substance to decay.


If the cat is radioactive it will probably use up those 18 half lives very quickly.  ::)  ;)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/04/10 at 1:52 am



If the cat is radioactive it will probably use up those 18 half lives very quickly.  ::)  ;)



http://msp241.photobucket.com/albums/ff276/Cobaltshadow/radioactivecat.jpg

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Frank on 09/04/10 at 1:59 am

If you get scared half to death twice, do you die?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/04/10 at 7:16 am


If you get scared half to death twice, do you die?


No,It's just shock.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 09/04/10 at 7:19 am


If you get scared half to death twice, do you die?


No,It's just shock.

Similarly, if you get scared to death once, you don't necessarily die.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/04/10 at 7:21 am


Similarly, if you get scared to death once, you don't necessarily die.


But twice I don't know.  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: nally on 09/04/10 at 7:23 am


But twice I don't know.  ???

Still, people say "scared to death" and "scared half to death" interchangeably and don't care one way or the other.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/04/10 at 8:22 am


Similarly, if you get scared to death once, you don't necessarily die.
You just get a nasty shock to the system.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 09/04/10 at 1:12 pm


You just get a nasty shock to the system.



and the heart flutters.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/04/10 at 1:13 pm



and the heart flutters.
...and the body jumps!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 09/06/10 at 9:30 am


Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Frank on 09/06/10 at 9:39 am



Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?




Was darts accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin catcher?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/06/10 at 12:20 pm



Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?



Prisoners and walls come to mind here!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 11/05/10 at 11:30 am




If "necessity" is the mother of invention, then who is the father?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 11/05/10 at 3:12 pm




If "necessity" is the mother of invention, then who is the father?





Father Time? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 11/07/10 at 12:11 am


Q; Have you ever found anything really interesting on this thread?
A: Are you kidding?
Q: Are you serious?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 11/07/10 at 2:03 am



Q; Have you ever found anything really interesting on this thread?
A; Are you kidding?
Q: Are you serious?



I am still looking.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 11/07/10 at 6:56 am



Q; Have you ever found anything really interesting on this thread?
A; Are you kidding?
Q: Are you serious?





I'll have to get back to you on that matter.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 11/07/10 at 12:12 pm


I am still looking.



Are you kidding?  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 11/07/10 at 12:13 pm


I'll have to get back to you on that matter.



Are you serious?  ::)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 11/07/10 at 12:13 pm



Are you kidding?   ::)



Within this topic, yes.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 11/07/10 at 1:52 pm



Are you serious?   ::)





Yes.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 11/20/10 at 12:26 am

Does ground coffee beans taste of ground?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 11/20/10 at 5:59 am


Does ground coffee beans taste of ground?


That's after you drink it.  :P

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/15/10 at 8:49 am




You have heard the term "All hell is breaking loose".  What exactly is it breaking loose from?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/15/10 at 8:36 pm




You have heard the term "All hell is breaking loose".  What exactly is it breaking loose from?





fights and arguements? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: wildcard on 12/16/10 at 12:04 am




You have heard the term "All hell is breaking loose".  What exactly is it breaking loose from?





a furnace?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 12/16/10 at 1:40 am




You have heard the term "All hell is breaking loose".  What exactly is it breaking loose from?



The flames of hell!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/16/10 at 7:03 am

What exactly is "the hell"?  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: 80s_cheerleader on 12/16/10 at 10:54 am



How did a fool and his money get together?


He got a tax break :D

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: wildcard on 12/16/10 at 11:17 am


What exactly is "the hell"?  ???


something we call foul language.

Jesus Christ can be used as a bad word, but have you ever tried to use Muhammad or something else as a bad word?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/16/10 at 12:16 pm

If you can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink,Can you make him chew hay? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 12/16/10 at 12:59 pm


What exactly is "the hell"?  ???
Where exactly is "the hell"?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: wildcard on 12/16/10 at 7:10 pm

what?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/16/10 at 10:38 pm


What exactly is "the hell"?  ???




The hell you  say?  ::) :o


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/17/10 at 7:06 am


Where exactly is "the hell"?


where the devil lives? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/17/10 at 7:07 am




The hell you  say?   ::) :o





Good Heavens.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: wildcard on 12/17/10 at 11:49 am

Yeah where is hell? I got to go through it to get to heaven.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 12/17/10 at 4:01 pm


He got a tax break :D



Good answer, My Friend.  ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/17/10 at 6:04 pm




7734 is hell spelled upside down and backwards if that helps any.  ::)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/17/10 at 7:17 pm


Yeah where is hell? I got to go through it to get to heaven.


Hell is down below.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/17/10 at 7:29 pm


Hell is down below.



That is only a conception portrayed by mankind.  Be good and you'll never have to find out the hard way where it really is.  :\'(


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/17/10 at 7:32 pm



That is only a conception portrayed by mankind.  Be good and you'll never have to find out the hard way where it really is.  :\'(





I'm not dyin,I'm living forever.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: wildcard on 12/17/10 at 7:37 pm


Hell is down below.


down below what?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/18/10 at 4:34 am


down below what?




Probably his "char-acter".


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/18/10 at 6:48 am


down below what?


That's where the Devil is.http://googlinggod.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/devil.gif

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 12/19/10 at 7:46 am


down below what?
Deep down under.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/19/10 at 2:56 pm

Why do people say "I'm gonna punch you square in the face" when your face is round? ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/22/10 at 3:51 pm


Why do people say "I'm gonna punch you square in the face" when your face is round? ???




It's probably because a closed fist is almost square.  What's really bad is when you get punched square in the face so hard that you starve to death rollin' from the hit.  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/23/10 at 7:11 am




It's probably because a closed fist is almost square.  What's really bad is when you get punched square in the face so hard that you starve to death rollin' from the hit.   ::)





Is that true or did you just make that up?  ???

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DJ Blaze on 12/23/10 at 10:33 am

What is the capital of Dover?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/23/10 at 8:02 pm


Is that true or did you just make that up?  ???



On very rare occasions it has been known to occur.  Luckily I have never been on the receiving end of such a blow but I did witness one once.  The guy rolled for days - actually he died of thirst before starving to death.  It's not a pretty sight.  It was actually the inspiration for the theme song of the 1960's TV show called "Rawhide" staring a very young Clint Eastwood.  

Here's a Youtube of the original theme song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSHr4ubuD64



Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/23/10 at 8:06 pm


What is the capital of Dover?



It is either Ben or "D".


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/24/10 at 6:24 am



Is the word disc or disk spelled with a "C" or an "K"?



Neither - everyone knows it is spelled with a "D"


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/24/10 at 7:13 am



Is the word disc or disk spelled with a "C" or an "K"?



Neither - everyone knows it is spelled with a "D"






It could be spelt either or

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/24/10 at 1:53 pm



It could be spelt either or




Hey Howard, dummy up.  ::)  :) "either" and "or" are completely different words. 

Here is a question that I will solicit answers to.  If in a few hours if no one gets the answer I will provide it.  If anyone wants more time than a few hours to post  I'll wait for a while and then I'll post the "all clear" then provide the answer within 1/2 hour or longer if no one wants to take a shot.  All who post gets karma from me 'cause it's Christmas and I like people to indulge and humor me.  And Howard you are a shopping cart expert so you should get this one.

The question:

Why were shopping carts invented?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Dagwood on 12/24/10 at 1:56 pm




The question:

Why were shopping carts invented?





So kids would have something to turn upside down and make a fort out of?  Or is that just my neighborhood? ;)

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/24/10 at 8:57 pm


So kids would have something to turn upside down and make a fort out of?  Or is that just my neighborhood? ;)



It must just be your neighborhood.  Where do you live in some inter city area?  :) ;)   Good answer but not the one I have in mind.  You have to think along the lines of the topic of this thread or outside the box.  Karma bestowed upon you and thanks and I wish you a very Merry Christmas ma'm.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/24/10 at 9:01 pm




Hey Howard, dummy up.  ::)  :) "either" and "or" are completely different words. 

Here is a question that I will solicit answers to.  If in a few hours if no one gets the answer I will provide it.  If anyone wants more time than a few hours to post  I'll wait for a while and then I'll post the "all clear" then provide the answer within 1/2 hour or longer if no one wants to take a shot.  All who post gets karma from me 'cause it's Christmas and I like people to indulge and humor me.  And Howard you are a shopping cart expert so you should get this one.

The question:

Why were shopping carts invented?







I'm calling the "All Clear" before I lay the answer on ya.  Since I only got one reply I may wait until the morning before I drop the answer.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/25/10 at 6:25 am




I'm calling the "All Clear" before I lay the answer on ya.  Since I only got one reply I may wait until the morning before I drop the answer.






Merry Christmas, everyone!  I'll give my answer soon.  I just need one person to ask me to deliver it since I didn't get quite as humored as I wanted to be.

C'mon Howard you are our resident expert on this subject - give it a stab.  I promise I'll try not to lay any sarcasm on you if you miss.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/25/10 at 7:24 am




Hey Howard, dummy up.  ::)  :) "either" and "or" are completely different words. 

Here is a question that I will solicit answers to.  If in a few hours if no one gets the answer I will provide it.  If anyone wants more time than a few hours to post  I'll wait for a while and then I'll post the "all clear" then provide the answer within 1/2 hour or longer if no one wants to take a shot.  All who post gets karma from me 'cause it's Christmas and I like people to indulge and humor me.  And Howard you are a shopping cart expert so you should get this one.

The question:

Why were shopping carts invented?





to make groceries easier to carry.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/25/10 at 8:30 am


to make groceries easier to carry.




Howard - way too logical of an answer.  But thanks for taking a stab at it.  Since you weighed in, here is your karma with a very heartfelt Merry Christmas and/or Happy Hanukkah.  Now for the answer.

The reason that shopping carts were invented is so dumb criminals, pedophiles, drug dealers, cartel members, spouse and child beaters/abusers  and the like can walk on their hind legs.


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 12/25/10 at 8:37 am





Why were shopping carts invented?



I am still trying to think of a funny answer!

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/25/10 at 9:24 am


I am still trying to think of a funny answer!



Phillip - if you haven't done so look one frame up on the thread.  The answer is there.  You get karma for indulging me.  Thanks friend.  If you do find a funny one please share.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/25/10 at 9:24 am




Does frankensense (sic) describe having the same mental agility as Frankenstein?


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 12/25/10 at 10:28 am





Why were shopping carts invented?



Are shopping carts an alternative for Zimmer frames?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: CatwomanofV on 12/25/10 at 10:53 am





The reason that shopping carts were invented is so dumb criminals, pedophiles, drug dealers, cartel members, spouse and child beaters/abusers  and the like can walk on their hind legs.






My FIL (who is 90) using them as a walker when he is in the grocery store.



Cat

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/25/10 at 2:09 pm




Howard - way too logical of an answer.  But thanks for taking a stab at it.  Since you weighed in, here is your karma with a very heartfelt Merry Christmas and/or Happy Hanukkah.  Now for the answer.

The reason that shopping carts were invented is so dumb criminals, pedophiles, drug dealers, cartel members, spouse and child beaters/abusers  and the like can walk on their hind legs.





Wow thanks Doritos Karma backatcha.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/25/10 at 2:10 pm




Does frankensense (sic) describe having the same mental agility as Frankenstein?





I don't think so.

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/25/10 at 2:12 pm

And why was she called "Bride Of Frankenstein",Was she married in an altar and did they have kids?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: DoRitos on 12/25/10 at 2:52 pm


And why was she called "Bride Of Frankenstein",Was she married in an altar and did they have kids?



No - not enough room inside the altar plus it has no doors.  She was sacrificed on it for spare parts for old "Frankie".  The reason for the marriage was legal so old "Frankie" could have complete control over her to include her body parts as next of kin.  ::)


Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Philip Eno on 12/26/10 at 4:16 am


And why was she called "Bride Of Frankenstein",Was she married in an altar and did they have kids?
Have you seen the film?

Subject: Re: Questions that cannot be taken seriously

Written By: Howard on 12/26/10 at 7:02 am


Have you seen the film?


No I don't think I have.

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