inthe00s
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These are the messages that have been posted on inthe00s over the past few years.

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Subject: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 4:31 pm


This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 5:44 pm


The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 6:35 pm


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/04/10 at 6:39 pm



At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.





Will the devil be the conductor of the service? :D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 6:41 pm


Will the devil be the conductor of the service? :D



What's a "condoctor"? ???

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/04/10 at 6:42 pm



What's a "condoctor"? ???



I meant conductor.

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 6:50 pm


A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the chuch hall. Music will follow.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: gibbo on 08/04/10 at 7:08 pm



A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the chuch hall. Music will follow.





;D ;D  Wind instruments...

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/04/10 at 7:12 pm


Thursday night potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: wildcard on 08/04/10 at 10:40 pm

Don’t let worry kill you - let the church help.

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/05/10 at 4:28 am


With a smile on his face, the pastor listened as the church choir sang the traditional hymn, "How Great Thou Art", as the rather large casket of the over 500 pound parishioner was wheeled out of the church.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/05/10 at 6:48 am



Thursday night potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.





What? No dessert?

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/05/10 at 12:26 pm


What? No dessert?



Did you bring a desert?  ??? You know, it is pot luck and don't forget the meds.  8-P


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/05/10 at 1:35 pm


Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/05/10 at 6:51 pm



Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.





What proceeds? ???

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/05/10 at 6:58 pm


The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."



Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/05/10 at 7:12 pm



The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."






;D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/05/10 at 7:27 pm


A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.



Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: nally on 08/05/10 at 11:45 pm



A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the chuch hall. Music will follow.




;)



Some of these others are too funny!! :D ;D

I've actually come across some hilarious typos in my own church bulletins; if I see another, I'll share it on here. :)

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/06/10 at 3:54 am


Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/06/10 at 4:27 am


;)



Some of these others are too funny!! :D ;D

I've actually come across some hilarious typos in my own church bulletins; if I see another, I'll share it on here. :)



Thanks Nally.  I can't wait to see anything that you post here.  ;)  Some sites that sport this comedy have submission E-forms for posting, but you never know if anyone is even actively looking at them that can post to that site.  :-\\


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/06/10 at 6:58 am



A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.






Was it a funeral dirge?

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: nally on 08/06/10 at 10:34 am



I can't wait to see anything that you post here.  ;)  Some sites that sport this comedy have submission E-forms for posting, but you never know if anyone is even actively looking at them that can post to that site.   :-\\




well, in the past I have seen typos involving incorrect dates and addresses of places...but not too many people would recognize those. If I find something hilarious, I'll be glad to share it.

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/06/10 at 1:53 pm


Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/06/10 at 3:25 pm



Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.






That won't look good for Mrs.Johnson.  :o

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/06/10 at 4:18 pm



That won't look good for Mrs.Johnson.  :o



And it's bad enough that they mispelled "Tests" - Her name has to be Johnson?  ;D  Double whammy!  ::) 


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: wildcard on 08/06/10 at 11:31 pm

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized on both ends.

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 2:19 pm


Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.



Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/07/10 at 2:48 pm



Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.






and free samples of Slim Fast.

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/07/10 at 3:22 pm


and free samples of Slim Fast.



You know you have a weight problem when you notice that you have more "chins" than a Beijing phone directory.  ::)



Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/10/10 at 8:09 am


Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Don Carlos on 08/10/10 at 10:20 am



Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.





To protect the new carpet from whatever they do on the new carpet :D :D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/10/10 at 3:06 pm



Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.





I guess I'll pee on the carpet.  :D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: nally on 08/10/10 at 4:29 pm



Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.




:D

Even if "all those" include dogs that can't hold it in?

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/11/10 at 4:26 am


:D

Even if "all those" include dogs that can't hold it in?



As long as they have their "papers"...  ::)


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/11/10 at 6:44 am


The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/11/10 at 6:54 am



The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.





A fight will ensue afterwards. :D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: nally on 08/11/10 at 10:18 pm



As long as they have their "papers"...   ::)




Oh yes... good one O0

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: karen on 08/12/10 at 2:38 am

The article about the Ladies' Craft Club should have stated that Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Smith gave talks on "smocking and rugs respectively," not "smoking and drugs respectably," as reported

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: gibbo on 08/12/10 at 7:57 pm



Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.





This just isn't right!  Surely, if you do it well, there should be a trophy!!! .....and maybe a movie deal?  :-\\

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 5:56 am



Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Don Carlos on 08/14/10 at 10:13 am



Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.





I've heard of confessional seductions, but not in front of the whole Ladies Liturgy society.  Guess the pastor wants to show off?

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/14/10 at 3:55 pm


I've heard of confessional seductions, but not in front of the whole Ladies Liturgy society.  Guess the pastor wants to show off?


;D ;D ;D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/18/10 at 4:37 am


Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.



Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: Howard on 08/18/10 at 5:25 am



Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.






Why would you want to see the minister for that?  ;D

Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: DoRitos on 08/18/10 at 6:35 am


Why would you want to see the minister for that?  ;D


Sin-cerely? ???


Subject: Re: Church announcements that should have been proof read

Written By: nally on 11/15/15 at 7:20 pm

After today's service, coffee and donuts will be served in the basement. Please come down and say hell to the pastor.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want.

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