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Subject: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/27/10 at 3:45 pm


This thread is dedicated to any laws that are blue or have been overcome by events or just don't make a lot of sense, like the one that starts this thread.

In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.



Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/27/10 at 4:24 pm


In Phoenix, Arizona, you can't walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on. 


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: snozberries on 08/27/10 at 5:24 pm



I'd actually need to see the penal or civil codes attached before I believe these.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/27/10 at 5:38 pm

In Woodstock, NY it is illegal to walk your bear on the street without a leash.


Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 12:16 am


In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 6:07 am


In Texas, it is still a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 8:39 am


It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that state.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/28/10 at 9:07 am



It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that state.



As in Akk-in-sore ?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 1:23 pm


As in Akk-in-sore ?

No - probably it's Ar-kans-us they don't appreciate.  I've heard it pronounced like the state Kansas with an Ark in front.  They prefer it to sound like Ark-an-saw.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/28/10 at 1:41 pm


In Kentucky, it is illegal for a merchant to force a person into his place of business for the purpose of making a sale.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/28/10 at 3:41 pm



It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that state.






Too funny because I once had a friend from Arkansas and I used to tease him all time saying he was from "Ark-Kansas."



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/29/10 at 6:15 am



Too funny because I once had a friend from Arkansas and I used to tease him all time saying he was from "Ark-Kansas."



Cat

To some Arkansans "them's fightin' words".  >:(  ;)

http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics2/ArkansasSign.jpg


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/29/10 at 7:15 am



To some Arkansans "them's fightin' words".   >:(   ;)

http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics2/ArkansasSign.jpg





What Science?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/29/10 at 8:07 am


In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/29/10 at 8:09 am



In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.



Take the bath, where to?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/29/10 at 10:11 am



In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.






Whether they need it or not?



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/29/10 at 1:37 pm



In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.



How about taking someone else's bath for them?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/29/10 at 2:34 pm



Whether they need it or not?



Cat


Jethro: Did you take a bath?
Zeke: Why, is there one missing?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/29/10 at 6:12 pm



In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.





only once?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: danootaandme on 08/29/10 at 7:13 pm

New Hampshire

      On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 1:30 am



In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.



Do local council officers come round and check on this?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 4:02 am


In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 4:21 am



In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.



Can the married couple still live together in the prison cell?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 4:45 am


Can the married couple still live together in the prison cell?


Why compound their misery by putting them together in one cell when they clearly did not wish to live together?  But then again maybe they do put them in the same cell, just to add to the punishment.  Some justice.  ::)


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 4:46 am


In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 4:48 am



Why compound their misery by putting them together in one cell when they clearly did not wish to live together?  But then again maybe they do put them in the same cell, just to add to the punishment.  Some justice.  ::)



The case has been solved!

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 4:49 am



In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.



Sounds a bit obvious....

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 6:55 am



In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.





What about if you're yapping on the phone?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 6:56 am


What about if you're yapping on the phone?
You cannot be yapping on the phone if the driver is asleep?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 6:57 am


You cannot be yapping on the phone if the driver is asleep?


If the driver was awake?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 6:57 am


If the driver was awake?
Then if the driver is awake, not offence has been committed.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 6:58 am


Then if the driver is awake, not offence has been committed.


the driver should be awake at all times.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 08/30/10 at 7:03 am


the driver should be awake at all times.
Yes indeed!

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/30/10 at 7:04 am


Yes indeed!


he could wind up in a car accident.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 4:14 pm


In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/30/10 at 4:28 pm



In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.






In Vermont they give hunting licenses to blind people.



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 5:10 pm



In Vermont they give hunting licenses to blind people.



Cat


For hunting in a duck blind, right?  ::)


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/30/10 at 5:19 pm



For hunting in a duck blind, right?  ::)






I'm serious. When I was declared "legally blind," I wrote to the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for a free fishing license. They sent me a free combination fishing and HUNTING license.  :o :o :o


Many people have said that they would rather go hunting with me than with Dick Cheney.  :D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 5:44 pm



I'm serious. When I was declared "legally blind," I wrote to the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for a free fishing license. They sent me a free combination fishing and HUNTING license.  :o :o :o


Many people have said that they would rather go hunting with me than with Dick Cheney.  :D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat


I believe you Cat.  I was just making light of the law.  I'd go hunting with you before I'd go with Cheney.  As far as I know you have never shot anyone.  ;) I used to hunt when I was younger, but now I can't see going out and shooting an animal, although deer season is a blessing in disguise.  A deer will usually go quickly from a 30-30 round as oppossed to slow starvation because they no longer have any natural enemies to keep their numbers in check. 


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/30/10 at 5:46 pm



I believe you Cat.  I was just making light of the law.  I'd go hunting with you before I'd go with Cheney.  As far as I know you have never shot anyone.  ;) I used to hunt when I was younger, but now I can't see going out and shooting an animal, although deer season is a blessing in disguise.  A deer will usually go quickly from a 30-30 round as oppossed to slow starvation because they no longer have any natural enemies to keep their numbers in check. 






When I had to shoot the M-16, I think I was helping out the person next to me-in terms of hitting their target for them.  ;) :D ;D ;D ;D


I do LOVE venison but couldn't kill it myself.



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/30/10 at 5:52 pm



When I had to shoot the M-16, I think I was helping out the person next to me-in terms of hitting their target for them.  ;) :D ;D ;D ;D


I do LOVE venison but couldn't kill it myself.



Cat


I grew up in Appalachia and fired weapons since I was about 8 years old.  They couldn't get an accurate count on the holes in my target when I qualified on the M-16 since it looked like one big hole in the middle of the chest of the silhouette.  I can handle a rifle just fine.  I can't hit spit with a pistol.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/31/10 at 4:17 am


In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/31/10 at 5:37 am



In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.





They can't drive anyway,they need braille.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/31/10 at 11:25 am


They can't drive anyway,they need braille.



Only to read the road signs.



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: snozberries on 08/31/10 at 12:32 pm


They can't drive anyway,they need braille.


That's why they have those bumps separating the lanes.
Haven't you ever heard the phrase driving by Braille?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 08/31/10 at 3:13 pm


That's why they have those bumps separating the lanes.
Haven't you ever heard the phrase driving by Braille?


Yes I think I have.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 08/31/10 at 5:26 pm


In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/31/10 at 5:36 pm



In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street






What about a tortoise?



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: snozberries on 08/31/10 at 8:25 pm



What about a tortoise?



Cat
;D

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/01/10 at 1:27 am



In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.



Not grown up babies?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/01/10 at 3:41 am


Not grown up babies?


Perhaps - if they could fit into the contraption without much notice and/or fanfare.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/01/10 at 4:35 am


In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.  (Women were not mentioned concerning permit to shave)


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 09/01/10 at 7:09 am



In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street





Would it get ticketed?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Don Carlos on 09/01/10 at 11:17 am



I'm serious. When I was declared "legally blind," I wrote to the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for a free fishing license. They sent me a free combination fishing and HUNTING license.  :o :o :o


Many people have said that they would rather go hunting with me than with Dick Cheney.  :D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat


Especially since you don't own a gun

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 09/01/10 at 11:25 am


Especially since you don't own a gun



Well, I do own a water pistol.  :D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/01/10 at 12:52 pm



In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.  (Women were not mentioned concerning permit to shave)



...and the regulation on the length of beards?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:29 am


In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 1:15 pm



In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.



Can the alligators still be kept in the backyard?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 2:08 pm


Can the alligators still be kept in the backyard?


Yeah - If they've been converted to luggage.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 2:09 pm



Yeah - If they've been converted to luggage.



therefore be purchased from a shop.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 2:58 pm


therefore be purchased from a shop.


A bit of a change up with the content of this thread:

Excerpts that have appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 2:59 pm


Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?



Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 3:00 pm



Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?




...mmm... ?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:05 pm


Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 09/03/10 at 3:10 pm

That sounds like an excerpt from Anguished English.



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 3:12 pm



Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?



Spike Milligan used to always quote that line.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:12 pm


That sounds like an excerpt from Anguished English.



Cat


Sounds like a stupid-ass attorney to me.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:14 pm


Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:17 pm


Were you alone or by yourself?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:22 pm


Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 09/03/10 at 3:32 pm



Sounds like a stupid-ass attorney to me.






http://jargontalk.googlepages.com/AnguishedEnglish01.jpg


Followed by:


http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51DKRW043GL.jpg


Followed by:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Z5RZVXKAL.jpg

Followed by:

http://media.us.macmillan.com/jackets/500H/9780312334949.jpg


And I just need to throw this one in, too.  :D ;D ;D ;D




http://www.somepeoplejugglegeese.com/images/old/uchicago/Covers-50/Get-Thee-to-a-Punnery.jpg



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 09/03/10 at 3:36 pm



A bit of a change up with the content of this thread:

Excerpts that have appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?





he doesn't know anything at all.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:44 pm



http://jargontalk.googlepages.com/AnguishedEnglish01.jpg


Followed by:


http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51DKRW043GL.jpg


Followed by:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Z5RZVXKAL.jpg

Followed by:

http://media.us.macmillan.com/jackets/500H/9780312334949.jpg


And I just need to throw this one in, too.  :D ;D ;D ;D




http://www.somepeoplejugglegeese.com/images/old/uchicago/Covers-50/Get-Thee-to-a-Punnery.jpg



Cat


‎l shall endeavor to join the book of the month club and put these books you have shown me on my ticket.  Thanks.  Are excerpts that I am posting found in any of these books, do you know?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:49 pm


Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 3:59 pm


Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 09/03/10 at 4:03 pm



‎l shall endeavor to join the book of the month club and put these books you have shown me on my ticket.  Thanks.  Are excerpts that I am posting found in any of these books, do you know?






I think so. It has been a while since I have read them. They are ALL worth reading. I was crying as I was reading them because I was laughing so hard! You don't have to join the Book of the Month Club. You can just go to Amazon and order them.  :D ;D ;D ;D


I have to mention this one:

I think it was a Sunday school quiz:

Name the 4 Gospels.

Answer: John, Paul, George, and that other guy.



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:05 pm



I think so. It has been a while since I have read them. They are ALL worth reading. I was crying as I was reading them because I was laughing so hard! You don't have to join the Book of the Month Club. You can just go to Amazon and order them.  :D ;D ;D ;D


I have to mention this one:

I think it was a Sunday school quiz:

Name the 4 Gospels.

Answer: John, Paul, George, and that other guy.



Cat


I love it!  :D ;D


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:07 pm


Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:14 pm


Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:19 pm


Do you have any children or anything of that kind?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:26 pm


Was that the same nose you broke as a child?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 4:28 pm



Was that the same nose you broke as a child?



The nose could have been changed with surgery.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:31 pm


The nose could have been changed with surgery.


Surgery = same nose - Transplant = someone elses nose.  So you always have your business in someone elses nose.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Philip Eno on 09/03/10 at 4:32 pm



Surgery = same nose - Transplant = someone elses nose.  So you always have your business in someone elses nose.



...you could had picked a better nose?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:33 pm


...you could had picked a better nose?


My mom picked my name but God picked my nose.  ::)


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:38 pm


So, you were gone until you returned?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:43 pm


You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:47 pm


Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:50 pm


A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/03/10 at 4:54 pm


Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 09/04/10 at 7:25 am



My mom picked my name but God picked my nose.  ::)





EW!  :P

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: danootaandme on 09/04/10 at 10:05 am


...you could had picked a better nose?


You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you shouldn't pick your friends nose.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 09/06/10 at 9:10 am


In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.  (Poster's comment - This is surprising to who)?  ::)


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 11/02/10 at 7:47 pm





Bad Lawyer = Redundant term - Good Lawyer = Oxymoron


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: karen on 11/03/10 at 3:45 pm



To some Arkansans "them's fightin' words".   >:(   ;)

http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics2/ArkansasSign.jpg





does that sign mean park your space rocket at the side of the road?

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 11/03/10 at 4:47 pm


does that sign mean park your space rocket at the side of the road?



She blinded me with science.


Oops, wrong thread.



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 11/03/10 at 6:17 pm



http://deathby1000papercuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/mexiforniadl-650x404.jpg

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: snozberries on 11/03/10 at 8:06 pm


does that sign mean park your space rocket at the side of the road?


It's Arkansas... that means... no talk of Darwin or Big Bangs... people there "evolved" from Adam and Eve...... albeit their evolution has been very, very slow  :D

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 11/04/10 at 4:52 am


It's Arkansas... that means... no talk of Darwin or Big Bangs... people there "evolved" from Adam and Eve...... albeit their evolution has been very, very slow  :D


:D ;D

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 11/04/10 at 6:50 am



http://deathby1000papercuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/mexiforniadl-650x404.jpg


;D I like that driver's license.

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Don Carlos on 11/04/10 at 11:34 am


;D I like that driver's license.


Badges?  We don't need no strinken badges

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 11/04/10 at 11:50 am


Badges?  We don't need no strinken badges


;D ;D ;D

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: CatwomanofV on 11/04/10 at 12:10 pm


Badges?  We don't need no strinken badges



Oh man, Honey. I was going to say that (but I would have spelled "stinking" correctly). You beat me to it. That's ok. I still love you.  :-* :-* :-* :-*



Cat

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: Howard on 11/04/10 at 8:05 pm

And this guy doesn't know his date of birth?  ;D

Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 11/04/10 at 9:00 pm


And this guy doesn't know his date of birth?  ;D




Not to mention his dad as well...  ::) :)


Subject: Re: It's the law!

Written By: DoRitos on 11/11/10 at 10:03 am


http://www.funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/3746/funny_cat_pictures_269.jpg

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