This thread is dedicated to any laws that are blue or have been overcome by events or just don't make a lot of sense, like the one that starts this thread.

In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.

In Phoenix, Arizona, you can't walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on. 

I'd actually need to see the penal or civil codes attached before I believe these.

In Woodstock, NY it is illegal to walk your bear on the street without a leash.


Cat

In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light.

In Texas, it is still a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that state.

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that state.



As in Akk-in-sore ?

As in Akk-in-sore ?

No - probably it's Ar-kans-us they don't appreciate.  I've heard it pronounced like the state Kansas with an Ark in front.  They prefer it to sound like Ark-an-saw.

In Kentucky, it is illegal for a merchant to force a person into his place of business for the purpose of making a sale.

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that state.






Too funny because I once had a friend from Arkansas and I used to tease him all time saying he was from "Ark-Kansas."



Cat

Too funny because I once had a friend from Arkansas and I used to tease him all time saying he was from "Ark-Kansas."



Cat

To some Arkansans "them's fightin' words".  >:(  ;)

http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics2/ArkansasSign.jpg

To some Arkansans "them's fightin' words".   >:(   ;)

http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics2/ArkansasSign.jpg





What Science?

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.



Take the bath, where to?

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.






Whether they need it or not?



Cat

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.



How about taking someone else's bath for them?

Whether they need it or not?



Cat


Jethro: Did you take a bath?
Zeke: Why, is there one missing?

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.





only once?

New Hampshire

      On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.



Do local council officers come round and check on this?

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.



Can the married couple still live together in the prison cell?

Can the married couple still live together in the prison cell?


Why compound their misery by putting them together in one cell when they clearly did not wish to live together?  But then again maybe they do put them in the same cell, just to add to the punishment.  Some justice.  ::)

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.

Why compound their misery by putting them together in one cell when they clearly did not wish to live together?  But then again maybe they do put them in the same cell, just to add to the punishment.  Some justice.  ::)



The case has been solved!

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.



Sounds a bit obvious....

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.





What about if you're yapping on the phone?

What about if you're yapping on the phone?
You cannot be yapping on the phone if the driver is asleep?

You cannot be yapping on the phone if the driver is asleep?


If the driver was awake?

If the driver was awake?
Then if the driver is awake, not offence has been committed.

Then if the driver is awake, not offence has been committed.


the driver should be awake at all times.

the driver should be awake at all times.
Yes indeed!

Yes indeed!


he could wind up in a car accident.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.






In Vermont they give hunting licenses to blind people.



Cat

In Vermont they give hunting licenses to blind people.



Cat


For hunting in a duck blind, right?  ::)

For hunting in a duck blind, right?  ::)






I'm serious. When I was declared "legally blind," I wrote to the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for a free fishing license. They sent me a free combination fishing and HUNTING license.  :o :o :o


Many people have said that they would rather go hunting with me than with Dick Cheney.  :D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

I'm serious. When I was declared "legally blind," I wrote to the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for a free fishing license. They sent me a free combination fishing and HUNTING license.  :o :o :o


Many people have said that they would rather go hunting with me than with Dick Cheney.  :D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat


I believe you Cat.  I was just making light of the law.  I'd go hunting with you before I'd go with Cheney.  As far as I know you have never shot anyone.  ;) I used to hunt when I was younger, but now I can't see going out and shooting an animal, although deer season is a blessing in disguise.  A deer will usually go quickly from a 30-30 round as oppossed to slow starvation because they no longer have any natural enemies to keep their numbers in check. 

I believe you Cat.  I was just making light of the law.  I'd go hunting with you before I'd go with Cheney.  As far as I know you have never shot anyone.  ;) I used to hunt when I was younger, but now I can't see going out and shooting an animal, although deer season is a blessing in disguise.  A deer will usually go quickly from a 30-30 round as oppossed to slow starvation because they no longer have any natural enemies to keep their numbers in check. 






When I had to shoot the M-16, I think I was helping out the person next to me-in terms of hitting their target for them.  ;) :D ;D ;D ;D


I do LOVE venison but couldn't kill it myself.



Cat

When I had to shoot the M-16, I think I was helping out the person next to me-in terms of hitting their target for them.  ;) :D ;D ;D ;D


I do LOVE venison but couldn't kill it myself.



Cat


I grew up in Appalachia and fired weapons since I was about 8 years old.  They couldn't get an accurate count on the holes in my target when I qualified on the M-16 since it looked like one big hole in the middle of the chest of the silhouette.  I can handle a rifle just fine.  I can't hit spit with a pistol.

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.





They can't drive anyway,they need braille.

They can't drive anyway,they need braille.



Only to read the road signs.



Cat

They can't drive anyway,they need braille.


That's why they have those bumps separating the lanes.
Haven't you ever heard the phrase driving by Braille?

That's why they have those bumps separating the lanes.
Haven't you ever heard the phrase driving by Braille?


Yes I think I have.

In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street

In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street






What about a tortoise?



Cat

What about a tortoise?



Cat
;D

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.



Not grown up babies?

Not grown up babies?


Perhaps - if they could fit into the contraption without much notice and/or fanfare.

In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.  (Women were not mentioned concerning permit to shave)

In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street





Would it get ticketed?

I'm serious. When I was declared "legally blind," I wrote to the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for a free fishing license. They sent me a free combination fishing and HUNTING license.  :o :o :o


Many people have said that they would rather go hunting with me than with Dick Cheney.  :D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat


Especially since you don't own a gun

Especially since you don't own a gun



Well, I do own a water pistol.  :D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.  (Women were not mentioned concerning permit to shave)



...and the regulation on the length of beards?

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.



Can the alligators still be kept in the backyard?

Can the alligators still be kept in the backyard?


Yeah - If they've been converted to luggage.

Yeah - If they've been converted to luggage.



therefore be purchased from a shop.

therefore be purchased from a shop.


A bit of a change up with the content of this thread:

Excerpts that have appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?




...mmm... ?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

That sounds like an excerpt from Anguished English.



Cat

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?



Spike Milligan used to always quote that line.

That sounds like an excerpt from Anguished English.



Cat


Sounds like a stupid-ass attorney to me.

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Sounds like a stupid-ass attorney to me.






http://jargontalk.googlepages.com/AnguishedEnglish01.jpg


Followed by:


http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51DKRW043GL.jpg


Followed by:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Z5RZVXKAL.jpg

Followed by:

http://media.us.macmillan.com/jackets/500H/9780312334949.jpg


And I just need to throw this one in, too.  :D ;D ;D ;D




http://www.somepeoplejugglegeese.com/images/old/uchicago/Covers-50/Get-Thee-to-a-Punnery.jpg



Cat

A bit of a change up with the content of this thread:

Excerpts that have appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?





he doesn't know anything at all.

http://jargontalk.googlepages.com/AnguishedEnglish01.jpg


Followed by:


http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51DKRW043GL.jpg


Followed by:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Z5RZVXKAL.jpg

Followed by:

http://media.us.macmillan.com/jackets/500H/9780312334949.jpg


And I just need to throw this one in, too.  :D ;D ;D ;D




http://www.somepeoplejugglegeese.com/images/old/uchicago/Covers-50/Get-Thee-to-a-Punnery.jpg



Cat


‎l shall endeavor to join the book of the month club and put these books you have shown me on my ticket.  Thanks.  Are excerpts that I am posting found in any of these books, do you know?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

‎l shall endeavor to join the book of the month club and put these books you have shown me on my ticket.  Thanks.  Are excerpts that I am posting found in any of these books, do you know?






I think so. It has been a while since I have read them. They are ALL worth reading. I was crying as I was reading them because I was laughing so hard! You don't have to join the Book of the Month Club. You can just go to Amazon and order them.  :D ;D ;D ;D


I have to mention this one:

I think it was a Sunday school quiz:

Name the 4 Gospels.

Answer: John, Paul, George, and that other guy.



Cat

I think so. It has been a while since I have read them. They are ALL worth reading. I was crying as I was reading them because I was laughing so hard! You don't have to join the Book of the Month Club. You can just go to Amazon and order them.  :D ;D ;D ;D


I have to mention this one:

I think it was a Sunday school quiz:

Name the 4 Gospels.

Answer: John, Paul, George, and that other guy.



Cat


I love it!  :D ;D

Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?



The nose could have been changed with surgery.

The nose could have been changed with surgery.


Surgery = same nose - Transplant = someone elses nose.  So you always have your business in someone elses nose.

Surgery = same nose - Transplant = someone elses nose.  So you always have your business in someone elses nose.



...you could had picked a better nose?

...you could had picked a better nose?


My mom picked my name but God picked my nose.  ::)

So, you were gone until you returned?

You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!

My mom picked my name but God picked my nose.  ::)





EW!  :P

...you could had picked a better nose?


You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you shouldn't pick your friends nose.

In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.  (Poster's comment - This is surprising to who)?  ::)

Bad Lawyer = Redundant term - Good Lawyer = Oxymoron

To some Arkansans "them's fightin' words".   >:(   ;)

http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics2/ArkansasSign.jpg





does that sign mean park your space rocket at the side of the road?

does that sign mean park your space rocket at the side of the road?



She blinded me with science.


Oops, wrong thread.



Cat

http://deathby1000papercuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/mexiforniadl-650x404.jpg

does that sign mean park your space rocket at the side of the road?


It's Arkansas... that means... no talk of Darwin or Big Bangs... people there "evolved" from Adam and Eve...... albeit their evolution has been very, very slow  :D

It's Arkansas... that means... no talk of Darwin or Big Bangs... people there "evolved" from Adam and Eve...... albeit their evolution has been very, very slow  :D


:D ;D

http://deathby1000papercuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/mexiforniadl-650x404.jpg


;D I like that driver's license.

;D I like that driver's license.


Badges?  We don't need no strinken badges

Badges?  We don't need no strinken badges


;D ;D ;D

Badges?  We don't need no strinken badges



Oh man, Honey. I was going to say that (but I would have spelled "stinking" correctly). You beat me to it. That's ok. I still love you.  :-* :-* :-* :-*



Cat

And this guy doesn't know his date of birth?  ;D