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Subject: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/03/04 at 10:52 pm

When Claude started this concept, y'all knew Bo Rap was as inevitable as your next bowel movement...

Just in case you don't already know these lyrics, here they are in all their glory:

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see

I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
'Cause I’m easy come
Easy go
Little high
Llittle low
Anyway the wind blows
Doesn’t really matter to me
To me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead

Mama, life had just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away

Mama, oooo
Didn’t mean to make you cry
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body’s aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I’ve got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama oooo - (any way the wind blows)
I don’t want to die
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me!

Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro, Magnifico

I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me

He’s just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(let him go)
Bismillah! We will not let you go
(let him go)
Bismillah! we will not let you go
(let him go)
Will not let you go
(let me go)
Will not let you go
(let me go)
Never let me go, ah oh oh - No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, FOR MEEEEE

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh baby-can’t do this to me baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters
To me

Any way the wind blows....


Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/03/04 at 10:55 pm

Is this the veal knife?
Is this just fancy meat?

(**** The following lines I filled-in after Rick Duncan jumped ahead ****)

Bought at a yard sale
From a cape-wearing Atkins Priest

Throw out your fries
Cook up some real fine roast beef

I’m just a fat boy, I need no bacon grease
'Cause I'm eating some
Cheesy crow
Griddle high
Griddle low
That's the way At-kins goes
Eat carbos and fatter you'll be
You'll be

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Rick D on 06/03/04 at 11:45 pm

Doctor, just ate a ham
Put the breading in the John
Pulled the handle now it's gone
Doctor, how I craved that bun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away....

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Leo Jay on 06/04/04 at 12:04 am



Why are my pants tight?
Am I getting too much to eat?
Goodbye to fries,
And goodbye to rye and wheat...
Carbos no more, boy
They are a sin for me
So the cakes and pies have to go
Don't ask why -- I don't know
But I'm on At-kins, so
I am forced to follow routine... routine...

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Meriadoc on 06/04/04 at 12:07 am

Darn! Everyone got ahead of me! I just followed Johnny with:

Got me a lamb pie
L'il Bo Peep caved to bribery

but now I see he has filled in the interrum... :'(

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/04/04 at 12:14 am

(**** Everybody, it's okay, just pick it up from wherever you wish - there are no hard-and-fast rules here! ****)

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Meriadoc on 06/04/04 at 12:25 am

I'm just a soy bean, nobody loves me

It's just a soy bean, substitute carnity
Sorghum is rife with gross sucrosity

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Rick D on 06/04/04 at 12:53 am

I didn't know we had to go in order. I just where the funny strikes me.

Old Dr. A. has a pot roast put aside for me, for me, for meeeee

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Claude_Prez on 06/04/04 at 6:05 am

Pep-Bismol!  Oh! I really have to go
(Got to go)
Pep-Bismol!  I really have to go
(Got to go)
Pep-Bismol!  I really have to go
(Got to go)
Really have to go
(Gotta go!)
Really have to go
(Gotta go!)
Please I just got to go ah ow ow Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!

Oh diarrhea diarrhoea
Diarrhea gotta go

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: philbo on 06/07/04 at 3:52 am

Beelzebub has imperilled my insides with glee
With glee
With geeeeeeee

Modified to add: oops, Rick got there first... now where are we?


So you think you can feed me on protein and fat?
So you think carbohyrdrate is what's problemat-
Ic Atkins!  But you're dead Dr Atkins
Just gotta cut out, just gotta cut out all this meat

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/07/04 at 10:48 am

Doctor, oooo
Didn't mean to eat those fries
I'll get right back on Atkins by tomorrow
Carbo on, carbo on, as if nothing makes me fatter

Filet, mignon has come
And liver browned in wine
Meatpies baking with key lime
But fries, taste so yummy - I've got to go
Gotta get me secret fries, they taste so good

Doctor, oooo - (that's the way Atkins goes)
I'm a fatso guy
I'd love to eat a planet-size Matzoh ball

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/07/04 at 10:50 am

Okay, somebody please contribute a parody for this section:

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me!

Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro, Magnifico

I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me

He’s just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/07/04 at 10:54 am

Carbos make me fatter
Anyone can see
Carbos make me fatter
So I'll fill my platter
With meat

...that's the way Fatkins goes...

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Leo Jay on 06/07/04 at 12:04 pm


Okay, somebody please contribute a parody for this section:

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me!...

Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro, Magnifico



I want to be a little sliver of a man...
Gastric douche! Gastric douche! Or look like Marlon Brando --
(He was once a slight thing, now he's huge and frightening me...)

Meat and Mayo, Meat and Mayo
Meat and Mayo, Meat and Mayo
Meat and Mayo? Way to go! Magnifico!

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/07/04 at 12:18 pm


Is someone planning to re-construct this in proper sequence when we're all done?  (Though we have competing ideas for some of the sections...)


I shall put it together - and I will use at least 1 contribution from everybody who has contributed.

Thanks....now I'm going to ask Claude if I may post it in the monkey house.  ;)

Johnny D

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/07/04 at 1:29 pm

Okay, collaborative authors....."Atkins Diet Rhapsody" by "A Room Full Of Monkeys" has been submitted!

Thanks very much, everybody!

Johnny D ;D

Subject: Re: Collaborative Parody Thread: Atkins Diet Rhapsody

Written By: Tinkerbell on 06/07/04 at 2:42 pm

;D very funny

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