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Subject: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: Spaff.com on 02/23/05 at 8:45 pm

http://www.spaff.com/poesy/houseflies.jpg
Heh heh.

OK, so I did a parody of U2's "Mysterious Ways" called Wisteria Lane (shameless plug). Peterchyd, for one, didn't know WTF I was talking about. Sorry - sometimes I forget that Sweden is a third-world country. So here ya go.

Desperate Housewives is a TV show that arrived just in time to fill the void left by "Sex and the City," that void being comedy-soaps featuring tight-knit groups of chatty, promiscuous hotties. In the case of DH, they're suburban marrieds, not city singles, but same diff. DH is set in a white picket-fence neighborhood on a street called Wisteria Lane. So entertainment rags are always talking about the latest events on Wisteria Lane. Because the show is huuugely successful.

One of the stars is Teri Hatcher, formerly Lois Lane on "Lois and Clark." (Did y'all get that show?) When that series ended, so did her career, seemingly; it got so bad that she had to do cheesy Radio Shack commercials to support her glamorous Hollywood lifestyle. Now, thanks to DH, she's a major award-winning celebrity who doubtless won't go within miles of a Radio Shack.

Nicolette Sheridan plays the blonde sexpot (the Kim Cattrall role). In November, she did a promo spot for DH during the lead-in to "Monday Night Football," in which she showed up in a towel in the Philadelphia Eagles locker room to seduce Eagle Terrell Owens. At the end of the spot, she dropped the towel. The nudity was only implied, alas, but the FCC and conservative groups predictably freaked out, and everyone involved had to apologize for offending all of those sensitive FOOTBALL VIEWERS. This blog and many others address the ridiculous controversy and contain pix and links to the actual MNF spot.

There ya go. I've only seen parts of a couple shows (no, really, I mean it, honestly) so I'm sure I'm leaving out some key points. Y'all feel free to fill in what I left out.

xoxox
Spaff



Subject: Re: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: ChuckyG on 02/23/05 at 8:49 pm

why does Wisteria make me think of Listeria?

Subject: Re: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/23/05 at 9:02 pm

We're halfway through the first season down here. She stole back the measuring cup last episode. It's so fgun hearing the word 'measuring cup' used so often in a show filled with buxom lasses. Will look up that parody of yours, Spaff, with as much anticipation as to what's in that chest!

Subject: Re: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: Rick D on 02/23/05 at 10:06 pm

It is not possible to not go within miles of Radio Shack. That's like avoiding Starbucks. In the old RS days, they used to make you fill out a form with your address, so they could mail you their catalog and other crap. I had the addresses of a few of their stores memorized so they would send that crap to each other.

Subject: Re: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: Johnny_D on 02/23/05 at 11:15 pm



I had the addresses of a few of their stores memorized so they would send that crap to each other.



I like your style, Highlander.  That prank has James-Bond-wearing-a-tuxedo-in-a-casino CLASS.

I'm an amateur radio (ham radio) operator, and I can tell you that a lot of hams call that store "Radio Sh*t".

Subject: Re: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: K1chyd on 02/24/05 at 12:08 pm


...Peterchyd, for one, didn't know WTF I was talking about. Sorry - sometimes I forget that Sweden is a third-world country...

Flattery will get you nowhere this time Spaff!  8)

Not at any time now or ever will I forget that Utah is a fourth world medieval theocracy. And to whom do I owe that knowledge I ask?  :P

Also, it wasn´t WTF but WTH as in What The Heck! (OK, I just made that up).  :D




...One of the stars is Teri Hatcher, formerly Lois Lane on "Lois and Clark." (Did y'all get that show?) When that series ended, so did her career, seemingly; it got so bad that she had to do cheesy Radio Shack commercials to support her glamorous Hollywood lifestyle...


I´ve only seen a few eppys of that show and I always thought her beady eyes made her all wrong for that roll so I can´t say I´m surprised. But for a more bodily role I guess she has all the right implants in the right places.


Nicolette Sheridan plays the blonde sexpot (the Kim Cattrall role). In November, she did a promo spot for DH during the lead-in to "Monday Night Football," in which she showed up in a towel in the Philadelphia Eagles locker room to seduce Eagle Terrell Owens. At the end of the spot, she dropped the towel.


And here I thought that the whole purpose of the game was to get a "first down". :-)

Subject: Re: Desperate Houseflies

Written By: Spaff.com on 02/27/05 at 1:26 pm


why does Wisteria make me think of Listeria?


A nasty bacteria that sticks in your gut? That you can get from bad meat? Hmmm. I see no connection there.


It is not possible to not go within miles of Radio Shack. That's like avoiding Starbucks. In the old RS days, they used to make you fill out a form with your address, so they could mail you their catalog and other crap. I had the addresses of a few of their stores memorized so they would send that crap to each other.


Nice work. It always made me uneasy when I'd be at the register to buy $5.00 worth of speaker wire, and they'd ask for my SSN, fingerprints, and a stool sample.

Rumor has it that the Tandy Corporation offered Shaquille O'Neal six figures to name his '90s rap album Radio Shaq. O'Neal nearly did it, but at the last minute changed the title to Shaq Diesel as a tribute to his "extremely special friend," the then-unknown actor Vin Diesel.


Not at any time now or ever will I forget that Utah is a fourth world medieval theocracy.


That's not actually how it's described by the Utah Tourism Board. Their slogan is "Utah: Fourth-World Medieval Theocracy AND HOST TO THE 2002 WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES!"

ONE MORE FOOTNOTE: EVA LONGORIA

Sorry - I left this out earlier. Another star of the show is the exotic Eva Longoria, a certified beauty queen. Literally certified. She was Miss Waco or something.

Her character on the show has been having an affair with her lawn boy. That is the one element of the series that rings most true for me. As can be attested by anyone who (like me) used to mow lawns for extra cash, it was hard not to get seduced by the hottest women in the neighborhood. It happened all the time and was, to say the least, a real distraction.

xoxox
Spaff

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