inthe00s
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Subject: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/17/05 at 11:07 am

Well, it looks like somewhere we stepped out of line with 'The Only Thread That Matters More'.  One minute it was there, the next it was a thing of the past.  I can't even find anything cached on Google...what on earth is going on? 

Any explanations?  Conspiracy theories? I'm pretty upset by this.  :-[

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 03/17/05 at 11:10 am


Well, it looks like somewhere we stepped out of line with 'The Only Thread That Matters More'.  One minute it was there, the next it was a thing of the past.  I can't even find anything cached on Google...what on earth is going on? 

Any explanations?  Conspiracy theories? I'm pretty upset by this.  :-[


I figured it was a victim of the mass deletion of the other TOTT... threads. There are only a few left, and I wouldn't be surprised if they disappeared soon.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 03/17/05 at 11:11 am

* sound of fuse being lit *

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Leo Jay on 03/17/05 at 11:17 am

We just thought it time to put it all to bed.  Before it was done to us arbitrarily.  Again.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/17/05 at 11:51 am

...oh.  :-[

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/17/05 at 12:30 pm


Well, it looks like somewhere we stepped out of line with 'The Only Thread That Matters More'.  One minute it was there, the next it was a thing of the past.  I can't even find anything cached on Google...what on earth is going on? 

Any explanations?  Conspiracy theories? I'm pretty upset by this.  :-[


Won't show up on google for a few days, if at all.  Google don't play dat unless it's up for a longer period of time. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 03/17/05 at 1:22 pm

What actually happened to TOTTM?  I've not had time to read the boards over the last couple of days  >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/17/05 at 2:39 pm


What actually happened to TOTTM?  I've not had time to read the boards over the last couple of days  >:(


It apparently didn't matter to some as much as it mattered to some others.

It was deleted by a moderator.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/17/05 at 5:05 pm

So when I got grounded by my parents a few weeks ago for shouting at them that "Nothing even matters!" (yes, they are hippies), I was right?? Wait till they hear this!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/17/05 at 5:13 pm


It apparently didn't matter to some as much as it mattered to some others.

It was deleted by a moderator.


It mattered very much to me.  In case you were wondering...


So when I got grounded by my parents a few weeks ago for shouting at them that "Nothing even matters!" (yes, they are hippies), I was right?? Wait till they hear this!


Charlie, I've been meaning to ask you, what is that on your avatar?  I can't really make out the picture...

My avatar is me dressed as a Super Princess.  Arwen has a matching outfit in red and blue.  In case you were wondering... 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/17/05 at 5:20 pm

wait wait wait..

The other one got deleted as well.. This is sooooo not on!

Does anybody know why that one was snatched away like a plump seal in to the icy depths?

And i had rambled on and on with a mildly humerous story about how Arwen isn't the only one to end up in pain at the end of each day...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/17/05 at 5:29 pm



Does anybody know why that one was snatched away like a plump seal in to the icy depths?



Leo deleted the threads that he'd started.

And yes, this is my Super Princess outfit, too, Charlie.  Because I know you WERE wondering.

And it mattered to me, too, Ash.  I'm posting this again...as it was lost...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 03/17/05 at 5:49 pm


What actually happened to TOTTM?  I've not had time to read the boards over the last couple of days  >:(


Let me tell you a story 'bout a thread that died
And posters who learned that there is no place to hide
300 pages or maybe it was 4
But whatever it was, well it ain't no more
Gone, it is... Every page... Every post.

Widely admired, it was widely read
As everyone posted what was in their head
But somebody said "take a look at what I see -
There's stuff on this thread that really offends me
Shocked, I am... Stunned, even... Save me."

Next thing you know, well the thread was off the board
Regular posters felt like they'd been gored
But they launched another one to continue on
Now that's been deleted and all hope is gone
Sad, I am... Depressed... Dispirited.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 03/17/05 at 6:38 pm

The legend lives on from The Messageboard on down
Of what was The Only Thread That Matters
The moderator said that she'd kill that thread dead
When complaints came from self-righteous bastards

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/17/05 at 8:12 pm



And yes, this is my Super Princess outfit, too, Charlie.  Because I know you WERE wondering.



Of course I was wondering. I thought that the similarity of your avatars was pure coincidence, but now I find out that it is a vast conspiracy. Earl Warren will hear of this!

As for my avatar, it is concept art of the two main characters from the video game (electonic games that you play on the TV, in case you were wondering  :P) Metal Gear Solid. I've been quizzed on it before, and I'm thinking of changing it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/17/05 at 11:24 pm


Let me tell you a story 'bout a thread that died
And posters who learned that there is no place to hide
300 pages or maybe it was 4
But whatever it was, well it ain't no more
Gone, it is... Every page... Every post.

Widely admired, it was widely read
As everyone posted what was in their head
But somebody said "take a look at what I see -
There's stuff on this thread that really offends me
Shocked, I am... Stunned, even... Save me."

Next thing you know, well the thread was off the board
Regular posters felt like they'd been gored
But they launched another one to continue on
Now that's been deleted and all hope is gone
Sad, I am... Depressed... Dispirited.



VERY nice, Rex!  Brought a tear to my eye...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: marthadtox3 on 03/18/05 at 2:17 am

I am completely mystified.... what could anyone have found offensive on the TOTTM thread ... was it taking up too much space???
What is the explanation??

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 8:49 am

They could be very nasty!  I used to go on there sometimes just to read what they were up to, and a few times I tried to join in on the conversation (big mistake!).  Even when I tried to be friendly, they were very crude.  They called each other nasty words that I will not repeat here.  I never really understood what the point of there conversations was.  It was just kind of rambling insults and bickering.  I'm surprised Chucky let it stay on so long.  I'm glad it's gone.
:)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 9:34 am


They could be very nasty!  I used to go on there sometimes just to read what they were up to, and a few times I tried to join in on the conversation (big mistake!).  Even when I tried to be friendly, they were very crude.  They called each other nasty words that I will not repeat here.  I never really understood what the point of there conversations was.  It was just kind of rambling insults and bickering.  I'm surprised Chucky let it stay on so long.  I'm glad it's gone.
:)


While I won't deny that those of us who were on the thread called each other names...(based on the fact that we were all friends, and it was a pre-established standard of love/hate banter)...I will argue until the day that I die that we were ever mean to newcomers.  I don't have the thread to defend me...but I made an effort to welcome everyone that was new. 

If you came to the thread and were uncomfortable because of the way that we talked to each other...then that's one thing...but you can't say, in honesty, that we were rude to you.  Any visitor to the thread would have had to be a regular for at least 2-3 weeks before I would start being rude to them... ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/18/05 at 9:42 am


It was just kind of rambling insults and bickering.


For the most part, it was rambling discussion that we couldn't do on other boards for fear of 'getting off topic' and being flamed to death.  If any of the thread members were continually insulted by what another said, they would have told Chucky or another admin to intervene.


I'm glad it's gone.


I think I might cry.  :(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: marthadtox2 on 03/18/05 at 9:55 am

as a regular reader of but non contributor to the thread I agree with Arwen taht she did try to welcome newcomers...

I never saw the banter as offensive ..

It wasn't my cup of tea... but I am from an older generation compared to many of the regular participants  I and wouldn't expect it to be

I thought that it was frequently very sharp and witty and full of life!!

and it certainly attracted a humungous number of hits so people must have enjoyed reading it...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 10:06 am



If any of the thread members were continually insulted by what another said, they would have told Chucky or another admin to intervene.



Well, I guess that's what happened.  Isn't it?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ms. Davenport on 03/18/05 at 10:15 am

The un-named individual who said, "I never really understood what the point of there conversations was.  It was just kind of rambling insults and bickering", is obviously a little kid who is nowhere near as intellectually sophisticated as the average adult.  Do not take him/her seriously, people, she/he is just a little kid ... that's blatantly obvious because he/she is not intellectually mature enough to have recognized the intelligently ironic and genuinely friendly nature of the "bastard"-name-calling and playful "insults" that the good friends on The Only Thread That Matters entertained each other with.  

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/18/05 at 10:17 am


Well, I guess that's what happened.  Isn't it?


Ladies & Gentlemen... Sean Hannity.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 10:29 am

J. Holmes
They could be very nasty!  I used to go on there sometimes just to read what they were up to, and a few times I tried to join in on the conversation (big mistake!).  Even when I tried to be friendly, they were very crude.


Kim:
Let me ask you this Mr. J. Holmes, what were some of the specific instances people were being crude to you?

I'm just curious because I am still relatively new to this board. I have visited the thread in question, and to be perfectly honest, I found nobody to be crude to me in the least. Yes, I did see a fair amount of banter going back and forth, and even a bit of name calling. I also noted that the people doing such things seemed to know one another rather well, and there did not seem to be hurt feelings afterward.

I make note, I also participated in some brief dialogue, and I must admit that, I was not treated badly.


J. Holmes
  They called each other nasty words that I will not repeat here.  I never really understood what the point of there conversations was.  It was just kind of rambling insults and bickering.  I'm surprised Chucky let it stay on so long.  I'm glad it's gone.


Kim
Most of what was said on that thread really was a matter of a few friends getting together and chatting about anything. I would think it natural that a new person trying to get in on the middle of a conversation would have a hard time of it. People have to get to know you first. The fact that you had a hard time following the flow of conversation only proves you were not really part of the group. You were not privy to all of the inside jokes as it were.


And for the record, I'm sorry to see it gone.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 10:31 am


The un-named individual who said, "I never really understood what the point of there conversations was.  It was just kind of rambling insults and bickering", is obviously a little kid who is nowhere near as intellectually sophisticated as the average adult.  Do not take him/her seriously, people, she/he is just a little kid ... that's blatantly obvious because he/she is not intellectually mature enough to have recognized the intelligently ironic and genuinely friendly nature of the "bastard"-name-calling and playful "insults" that the good friends on The Only Thread That Matters entertained each other with.  


Thank you Ms. Davenport!  This is a perfect example!  I am a "little kid" And I am "not intellectually mature".  Now do you understand why they were kicked out Martha?

I am mature enough that I know that talk like #$%^&* is not polite.  And then "Ms. Davenport" calls me "unnamed" becuase I don't give out MY first name.  I think that is "irony", isn't it?  Haw!  Not too bad for someone who is not so "intellectually sophisticated" ha?  This is how Snobby and rude you people are!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 10:39 am

Not sure who "Ms. Davenport" was...but she certainly doesn't have the right (nor, do I presume, did she have the intention) to speak for all of us who made up TOTTM. 

To assume that hers is the universal opinion of you, or of anyone who didn't like our thread, is a bad call, J.

On the contrary...I realize that not everybody was going to find our sense of humor to their liking...diversity is what makes the world go 'round.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/18/05 at 10:45 am


Thank you Ms. Davenport!  This is a perfect example!  I am a "little kid" And I am "not intellectually mature".  Now do you understand why they were kicked out Martha?

I am mature enough that I know that talk like #$%^&* is not polite.  And then "Ms. Davenport" calls me "unnamed" becuase I don't give out MY first name.  I think that is "irony", isn't it?  Haw!  Not too bad for someone who is not so "intellectually sophisticated" ha?  This is how Snobby and rude you people are!


For the record, I don't recall a Ms. Davenport ever participating in TOTTM discussion at length.  Assuming that we are all as Snobby and rude as this commenter is, indeed, intellectually immature.  Please don't make such generalizations.

It also seems ironic that, after such a pretentious statement as your first post, you're the one who seems to be carrying on pointless arguments with anyone who disagrees.  I mean, you didn't participate fully in the thread, so you are on no grounds to criticize it as a whole.  If your experience was bad there, I apologize if I contributed - but please, don't make yourself look like a hypocrite.

For...well, for another record, the thread was deleted by an admin without warning under circumstances that, according to the forum guidelines, are to remain unknown.  None who used TOTTM voiced any concern that they were being insulted or degraded.  

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 10:46 am



Let me ask you this Mr. J. Holmes, what were some of the specific instances people were being crude to you?

I'm just curious because I am still relatively new to this board. I have visited the thread in question, and to be perfectly honest, I found nobody to be crude to me in the least. Yes, I did see a fair amount of banter going back and forth, and even a bit of name calling. I also noted that the people doing such things seemed to know one another rather well, and there did not seem to be hurt feelings afterward.



Kim, I'm glad they were nice to YOU, but like you read, Ms. Davenports tone speaks for herself.  I really don't want this to turn into an argument.  I had enough bad experiences before.  I just put in my two cents because Martha asked why it was gone.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ms. Davenport on 03/18/05 at 10:54 am

To everybody who has commented on this issue so far, including the un-named individual I referred-to earlier:  please accept my heart-felt apology for my rudeness and snobbishness.

Instead of being one of the group of regular contributors to The Only Thread That Matters, I was one of the people who frequently read that thread and enjoyed observing the humorous banter and good-natured playful insults that the regular participants cast upon each other with obvious love and friendship.

My initial posting in this thread was, I now admit, my knee-jerk emotional reaction to this issue, based on my own great disappointment at seeing The Only Thread That Matters disappear.

So, to everybody, including the un-named individual I spoke of earlier, again, I extend my humblest and deepest apologies.

I was wrong.  I should not have said what I said --- what I said was itself immature and un-sophisticated, and very, very snobbish and rude...and for all of that, I am very, very sorry, and I ask all of you to please forgive me.

I promise you all that I shall be completely courteous, polite, and fully respectful of you all from now on.

With deepest apologies to everyone and admitting that I was wrong,
  Ms. Davenport

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ms. Davenport on 03/18/05 at 11:04 am

And to fulfill and confirm the sincerity of my apology to everybody...

Dear Moderator,

Please delete my first post on this thread --- the post for which I have sincerely apologized --- it should be deleted, so please, moderator, delete it at your earliest convenience.

Again, my heart-felt apologies to you all,
Ms. Davenport

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 11:14 am

Well, that apology is coming a little late to make up for the nastyness on that 'Thread That Mattered', so my comments about that experience still stands.  BUT at least you apologize, so thank you.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 11:16 am


Kim, I'm glad they were nice to YOU, but like you read, Ms. Davenports tone speaks for herself.  I really don't want this to turn into an argument.  I had enough bad experiences before.  I just put in my two cents because Martha asked why it was gone.


I am sorry that your experience was not a better one, and I can certainly understand not wanting to be called a child or immature. I can also understand you answering a question as to why you did not like the thread, and I also respect the fact that you are glad to see it gone.

I have been on several boards, all of which have their own personal cliques. Some are easier to become a part of, while others can be something of a nightmare.  I still maintain that most of the people on that thread and on this message board are of a decent sort. There will always be one or two people that will try to spoil things for the rest; they exist on every board, no matter how well the rules of conduct are done.

BTW, if I was attacked like you were done by Mrs. Davenport, then she'd know rather quickly she picked on the wrong person.

Kim.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ms. Davenport on 03/18/05 at 11:21 am


Well, that apology is coming a little late to make up for the nastyness on that 'Thread That Mattered', so my comments about that experience still stands.  BUT at least you apologize, so thank you.


Thank you for accepting my apology.  You are a decent person.  I hope everyone will accept my apology as decently and as fairly as you did.  Thank you again.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ms. Davenport on 03/18/05 at 11:23 am


I am sorry that your experience was not a better one, and I can certainly understand not wanting to be called a child or immature. I can also understand you answering a question as to why you did not like the thread, and I also respect the fact that you are glad to see it gone.

I have been on several boards, all of which have their own personal cliques. Some are easier to become a part of, while others can be something of a nightmare.  I still maintain that most of the people on that thread and on this message board are of a decent sort. There will always be one or two people that will try to spoil things for the rest; they exist on every board, no matter how well the rules of conduct are done.

BTW, if I was attacked like you were done by Mrs. Davenport, then she'd know rather quickly she picked on the wrong person.

Kim.


Dear Kim West,

I apologize to you personally as well.  I hope you can understand that I am simply a flawed human being with emotions that sometimes get the better of me, as they did in this case on this thread.  Please accept my heart-felt apologies as well.  Thank you.

Ms. Davenport

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/18/05 at 11:27 am


To everybody who has commented on this issue so far, including the un-named individual I referred-to earlier:  please accept my heart-felt apology for my rudeness and snobbishness.



IT'S OKAY. 

Seriously.

All good.  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: 2nz on 03/18/05 at 11:36 am

Neo: "So they deleted the thread... that's impossible."
Agent Smith: "Not impossible Mr. Anderson... INEVITABLE!"

A bunch of rambling insults and bickering, huh? And that hurts people how? Did the words jump off the page of people's computer screens and start punching their cats and slashing their tires and hiding the remote and other sick sheesh like that? Sorry, but I fail to see how censorship solves anything. THere are instances where a group or individual is being specifically cited and publicly ridiculed or put down in the interest of expressing hatred toward that group or individual. In those instances, censorship is warranted to shut the initiating group the hell up. But there are other instances where censorhip just hides the problem and promotes denial. Deleting the thread doesn't make the views of those who posted there go away. It just hides them so whoever is uncomfortable can live a happy, little life never having dealt with their discomfort. The poeple who posted regularly on that thread were reasonable people and any discomfort should have been voiced. If you had done that, I think they would have genuinely heard you and responded. But go ahead and live your happy life-in-a-box, you little snitch. But go ahead, delete this thread too, keep running why don't ya...

Maybe this is just my knee-jerk reaction to seeing the thread gone, and maybe I'm an idiot for not knowing the whole story and posting my feelings anyway, and maybe I'm an idiot anyway. Frankly, you can think whatever you want of me, and by all means voice it, that's what freedom of expression is about.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 11:41 am


Maybe this is just my knee-jerk reaction to seeing the thread gone, and maybe I'm an idiot for not knowing the whole story and posting my feelings anyway, and maybe I'm an idiot anyway. Frankly, you can think whatever you want of me, and by all means voice it, that's what freedom of expression is about.


I love you, 2nzy... :-*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/18/05 at 11:42 am


Neo: "So they deleted the thread... that's impossible."
Agent Smith: "Not impossible Mr. Anderson... INEVITABLE!"



Oohh..whimsical.

As for the One Thread, I'd just like to say that I never found anybody in that thread anything but friendly, welcoming and accomidating. Hell, when I joined the conversation after many hundred pages, I was welcomed with open arms. The whole inthe00s message board tree is easily the most welcoming and friendly that I've even been a part of. Now, been in some really nasty messageboards, you know, the kind where people post pictures to mock you if you say something stupid, or just for the sake of starting a fight. Thank god for inthe00s and amiright.

Matter on, I say!  8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 11:59 am


... people post pictures to mock you if you say something stupid, or just for the sake of starting a fight.



Um...well...that WAS me...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/18/05 at 12:01 pm


Um...well...that WAS me...


Well, at least your hurtful, withering stuff is creative!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 12:14 pm


Well, at least your hurtful, withering stuff is creative!


:)

Indeed...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 12:14 pm

2nz
A bunch of rambling insults and bickering, huh? And that hurts people how? Did the words jump off the page of people's computer screens and start punching their cats and slashing their tires and hiding the remote and other sick sh** like that?


Kim:
**GASP*** How did you know? It was simply terrible I tell you! Words to the left of me! Words to the right of me! Bad spelling, typos, and bad grammar! Oh my!

They called out to me, "I'll get you my pretty! And your little contractions to! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"


2nz:
Sorry, but I fail to see how censorship solves anything. THere are instances where a group or individual is being specifically cited and publicly ridiculed or put down in the interest of expressing hatred toward that group or individual. In those instances, censorship is warranted to shut the initiating group the hell up. But there are other instances where censorhip just hides the problem and promotes denial. Deleting the thread doesn't make the views of those who posted there go away. It just hides them so whoever is uncomfortable can live a happy, little life never having dealt with their discomfort. The poeple who posted regularly on that thread were reasonable people and any discomfort should have been voiced. If you had done that, I think they would have genuinely heard you and responded. But go ahead and live your happy life-in-a-box, you little snitch. But go ahead, delete this thread too, keep running why don't ya...


Kim:
I can see deleting a post or two if they were way beyond what the board allows, but entire thread seems to be a bit silly. Especially since the thread has been around for a while. I do not know how long the thread was around, but it did seem to be in place for quite some time, which begs the question. If the thread was fine for such a long time, then why is it only offensive now? Is this a change in over-all policy? If so, then what other changes are to be expected in the future?


2nz
Maybe this is just my knee-jerk reaction to seeing the thread gone, and maybe I'm an idiot for not knowing the whole story and posting my feelings anyway, and maybe I'm an idiot anyway. Frankly, you can think whatever you want of me, and by all means voice it, that's what freedom of expression is about.


Kim
I just came back and found this after the fact. I'm still puzzled about what exactly happened. I personally think your reactions are rather normal, and I hardly consider you to be an idiot for stating your opinions.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 12:23 pm

I do not want to fight with anyone here, but I want to say that even if it seems like I am the only person here who had a bad experience on the thread, obviously, it would not have become deleted just because one or two people had a problem with a few messages.  Since the whole thread was removed, it must have been a problem for a lot of other people, right?

And Kim West, am I reading your messages wrong?  It seems like you are talking to yourself.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 12:25 pm


Dear Kim West,

I apologize to you personally as well.  I hope you can understand that I am simply a flawed human being with emotions that sometimes get the better of me, as they did in this case on this thread.  Please accept my heart-felt apologies as well.  Thank you.

Ms. Davenport


Hmm, I thought I replied to this post, but I apparently I must have not hit the post button. Anyway let me reply to this again.

Thank you for your apology, but it really isn't necessary.  I never felt your post was an attack on me. As I said earlier, if I had felt you attacked me, then you would find yourself in a battle of words.

Kim.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 12:32 pm


And Kim West, am I reading your messages wrong?  It seems like you are talking to yourself.


I'm not sure what you are referring to. I have replied to you, 2nz, and now Mrs. Davenport. I can take away the quotes from you and the others in my posts and change the colors of the fonts if you feel this will clarify things.

Or are you simply speaking metaphorically?

Kim.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 12:43 pm


Since the whole thread was removed, it must have been a problem for a lot of other people, right?



No.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: J. Homes on 03/18/05 at 12:48 pm


I'm not sure what you are referring to. I have replied to you, 2nz, and now Mrs. Davenport. I can take away the quotes from you and the others in my posts and change the colors of the fonts if you feel this will clarify things.

Or are you simply speaking metaphorically?

Kim.



No, it's okay, it's just that your quotes come out different than I've seen before, so I was confused.  I see that when you wrote "Kim: blah-blah-blah" that meant it was you talking, like in a play script.  Before it seemed like you were addressing Kim -- do you know what I mean?  Usually the quote is just in purple with the writers name right over it like "quote by J. Homes today at 11:15 am", and everything else after the purple section the current speaker.  But I undertand now what you were doing, I just don't understand how it came out that way on your computer.  But ok.


No.


But I guess the person in charge of the board didn't like it very much.  Sorry.   :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: ChuckyG on 03/18/05 at 12:56 pm

so let me get this straight.  The thread had lots of insults directed towards people in it?

and you wonder why it was deleted?

The moderators weren't reading the thread, and our first time looking into it there's a lot of insults directed towards people.  While it may have been well known in the thread that it's not meant to be taken seriousily, it's not clear when someone reads a post near the end of the thread, that this is some sort of special thread.  To be honest, had I known that sooner, the thread would have been gone a lot sooner.

Basically, since it went unnoticed for so long, people just assumed it was ok even if it violated the system guidelines, so they just assumed that rule was no longer in effect.  So when the thread went away, they feel compelled to gripe about it.

What a total, and utter, load of garbage.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Apricot on 03/18/05 at 12:59 pm

Haaarsh.... But I see what you're saying.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: 2nz on 03/18/05 at 1:08 pm


I do not want to fight with anyone here


Ignore the posts of J. Homes. If he didn't want a fight, he wouldn't be here. He is proud that he managed to hurt so many people by helping to take away the thread. He 'won' in the sense that he wanted the thread to go away and it did. And he is here now to rub it in the faces of everyone who enjoyed that thread.

At the end of the day, Chucky provides this free forum for each of us to enjoy, so if his rules are not obeyed, he has that right to take action about it.

J. Homes, I can't say what I think of you personally here, because it will be viewed as an attack. But I will from now on ignore your posts and I smile at the thought of you leaving this place.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/18/05 at 1:20 pm

<crickets chirping>

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 1:21 pm


...so they just assumed that rule was no longer in effect. 


The only thing I assumed (just me...not speaking for anyone else) was that since the thread was over 400 pages long, and was always at the top of the page, constantly being commented on...

...that one or more of the moderators would have at least dropped in a time or two...given that they had ample time and opportunity...and that they are moderators...so that's what they are supposed to be doing.

It's just impossible for me to believe that none of them noticed the nature of our thread until this week.  If I'm not mistaken, Chucky even commented on the thread a time or two.  Which would require him to've read a least a portion of it.

I'm not trying to say that Chucky and moderators didn't have the right to take it away...that's moot.  But we certainly have a right to be disappointed that it's gone.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: ChuckyG on 03/18/05 at 1:29 pm


The only thing I assumed (just me...not speaking for anyone else) was that since the thread was over 400 pages long, and was always at the top of the page, constantly being commented on...

...that one or more of the moderators would have at least dropped in a time or two...given that they had ample time and opportunity...and that they are moderators...so that's what they are supposed to be doing.

It's just impossible for me to believe that none of them noticed the nature of our thread until this week.  If I'm not mistaken, Chucky even commented on the thread a time or two.  Which would require him to've read a least a portion of it.

I'm not trying to say that Chucky and moderators didn't have the right to take it away...that's moot.  But we certainly have a right to be disappointed that it's gone.


I did check in on it occasionally, but I had never noticed any of the behavoir mentioned above when I did.  Clearly a 400 page thread does not go unnoticed.  I had read it pretty early on.  I did not know what had been posted in the past month at least. 

If I had spotted it when it was first began, it would have been commented on it.  When it's clearly been happening for awhile, we just remove the thread rather than try to remove the offending material (especially if it extends back a ways through the thread).  There's been a long standing policy of not going into the details of thread removals, simply because we don't want to spend all our time here responding to every one. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 1:33 pm


No, it's okay, it's just that your quotes come out different than I've seen before, so I was confused.  I see that when you wrote "Kim: blah-blah-blah" that meant it was you talking, like in a play script.  Before it seemed like you were addressing Kim -- do you know what I mean?  Usually the quote is just in purple with the writers name right over it like "quote by J. Homes today at 11:15 am", and everything else after the purple section the current speaker.  But I undertand now what you were doing, I just don't understand how it came out that way on your computer.  But ok.




I realize that my style of replying differs greatly from the way others here write. That is basically how I respond on other message boards (some of which do not have the quote feature). It is my way of trying to ensure that people know what it is I have said in response to what someone else has said. And yes, it is rather like reading a script I suppose. An apt analogy if I do say so myself. I sort of think of it more in terms of a transcript, but either reference would be acceptable.

Kim.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/18/05 at 1:36 pm


so let me get this straight.  The thread had lots of insults directed towards people in it?

and you wonder why it was deleted?

The moderators weren't reading the thread, and our first time looking into it there's a lot of insults directed towards people.  While it may have been well known in the thread that it's not meant to be taken seriousily, it's not clear when someone reads a post near the end of the thread, that this is some sort of special thread.  To be honest, had I known that sooner, the thread would have been gone a lot sooner.

Basically, since it went unnoticed for so long, people just assumed it was ok even if it violated the system guidelines, so they just assumed that rule was no longer in effect.  So when the thread went away, they feel compelled to gripe about it.

What a total, and utter, load of garbage.


My original understanding of the thread was so people can just goof off and not stay on a specific topic like song parodies. If this wrong then please let one of the regulars explain what the purpose really was.

Question: Could there be a place set aside specifically for those who just want to goof off. A part of the board where it states quite clearly that people may in fact be insulting one another? That it is understood that in such a place therules will not be adhered to?

The downside to such a place is that things might get out of hand and bleed over onto the parts of the board that do conduct rules. Now, let me ask another question for the moderators. Was there such bleed over from the thread that was deleted? Or was the thread pretty much self contained and really did no harm to the rest of the board?

If the thread caused significant problems, then I'd say that even putting  aside a special place on the board would be a bad idea, and should not be implemented.

If the thread was really a self contained realm, then why not try to experiment a bit and let people have things a bit like they were before the deletion occurred?

Just a suggestion, mind you.

Kim.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 1:43 pm


I did check in on it occasionally, but I had never noticed any of the behavoir mentioned above when I did.  Clearly a 400 page thread does not go unnoticed.  I had read it pretty early on.  I did not know what had been posted in the past month at least. 

If I had spotted it when it was first began, it would have been commented on it.  When it's clearly been happening for awhile, we just remove the thread rather than try to remove the offending material (especially if it extends back a ways through the thread).  There's been a long standing policy of not going into the details of thread removals, simply because we don't want to spend all our time here responding to every one. 


Understandable...especially since no explanation seems to calm anyone down...I'm sure I would try to do the same thing if I were in your shoes.

But you admit that if you had noticed the behavior...you would have commented on it.  That, basically, is the most confusing thing.  I've seen people reprimanded by you and by other moderators for lots of things...giving said offenders the chance to modify their behavior.

We were never given that chance.  It's kind of like being sent to prison without a trial.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/18/05 at 2:04 pm

But even without knowing the entire history of the thread, I think any visitor can simply look at ANY GIVEN EXCHANGE and tell whether or not a comment is offered and taken in jest.  If someone calls someone a 'bastard' in reference to some innocuous subject matter, and the other person responds with a joke or another innocuous comment, it's pretty clear...

Also, it's sort of difficult to swallow the idea that it's considered inappropriate to have friends call each other names in good humor... but at the same time it's considered civil and reasonable to angrily dismiss polite requests for more specific explanation as "a total and utter load of garbage"?

Chucky, I've always acknowledged that it's your site and that you have the right to do as you wish.  But it seems to me that these forums can be a more or less mutually rewarding arrangement.  While I'm sure you're a wonderful, wonderful fellow, I'd guess you don't provide these forums for strangers out of pure altruism.  No of course you don't get rich off the site, but neither do the participants.  Theoretically, at least as far as the AmIRight site is concerned, providing forums where parodists can interact helps maintain a feeling of community that, at least to some extent, encourages people to keep contributing to the site.  A site that, quite frankly, doesn't exist without parodists to contribute to it.

Sure, I'm just a newbie, and I'm not one of the brilliant, prolific parodists with 500 pieces to my credit or anything, so I'm not trying to say "the site would die without the likes of me", I'm just sayin'... it would have been nice to get a BIT of consideration...

Alright, alright, I'm going...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: ChuckyG on 03/18/05 at 2:27 pm


Question: Could there be a place set aside specifically for those who just want to goof off. A part of the board where it states quite clearly that people may in fact be insulting one another? That it is understood that in such a place therules will not be adhered to?


there already is.

The Playful Penguin Place, Member's Only board.  been there since I started inthe00s.com

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: ChuckyG on 03/18/05 at 2:35 pm


Understandable...especially since no explanation seems to calm anyone down...I'm sure I would try to do the same thing if I were in your shoes.


The no explanation reason, is so that we don't spend our time responding to every person who feels "wronged" that "their" thread is deleted for some strange reason, even when the person probably knows full well the reason for the deletion.  It's to prevent these little public crusades against the evil moderators for taking away something.  Youi'll notice we never said why the thread was deleted, and yet the reason still came out before I posted about it.  I wonder how that "mystery" was resolved?


But you admit that if you had noticed the behavior...you would have commented on it.  That, basically, is the most confusing thing.  I've seen people reprimanded by you and by other moderators for lots of things...giving said offenders the chance to modify their behavior.


That's in isolated cases.  Not when a large number of posts in the thread, by multiple people, are violating system rules.  It's also especially not when the people involved have been using the system for a long time.


We were never given that chance.  It's kind of like being sent to prison without a trial.


really? you had all your rights removed and couldn't post anymore?  you weren't allowed to pick up where you left off? no, much easier to cry about it and protest, and scream about how unjust it all is. 

When you run a red light every day for a month and finally get pulled over for it, do you tell the cop "Well, I wasn't warned about the rule, even though it was in every piece of literature I read before taking the driving test". or maybe you say "No one saw me the first thirty times, and since I wasn't given a ticket, I thought it was ok"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/18/05 at 3:40 pm



really? you had all your rights removed and couldn't post anymore?  you weren't allowed to pick up where you left off? no, much easier to cry about it and protest, and scream about how unjust it all is. 

When you run a red light every day for a month and finally get pulled over for it, do you tell the cop "Well, I wasn't warned about the rule, even though it was in every piece of literature I read before taking the driving test". or maybe you say "No one saw me the first thirty times, and since I wasn't given a ticket, I thought it was ok"


1.  I never called any moderator evil.  I never said they broke any rules.  I never screamed.  I never asked one single person to join my crusade.  I never even had a crusade.  I drew a picture on MS Paint, and I said I was sad/angry/frustrated that it was deleted.  Which I am.

2.  I never claimed that my rights were taken away.  As I'm posting right now, I can see that my account was not deleted, and my right to post wasn't taken.  I said we were punished (jail metaphor) without a warning (trial metaphor).  Which is true. 

3.  The speeding example is nice.  But I can't relate...because, in my experience, police officers have given me warnings and a "slow it down from now on" pat on the roof of my car.  I realize that they are not required to do that.  I realize that it is within their rights and responsibilities as an officer of the law to give me a ticket the very first time.  I appreciate, however, that they look at the situation, use good judgment to discern that I'm not intentionally trying to hurt anyone...(not running from the scene of an accident...not denying that I was speeding...etc)...and they leave it at that.  In the event, however, that an officer does decide to give me a ticket, I will accept that ticket...and I'll pay it...but yeah, I'm going to whine to my friends about it, too.  It's human nature.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 03/18/05 at 9:45 pm

the more I read, the more I'm convinced the simple explanation is the true one

Someone complained about a post.  Hairspray investigated, and agreed.  She went to delete the post, and accidentally deleted the whole thread.

The regular contributors have lost a major thing in their lives, and should be allowed to mourn their loss without non-contributors questioning their characters.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Bud Tinsky on 03/18/05 at 10:19 pm

"A major thing in their lives..."  Not sure how you meant that one, Stu (hee-haw-snarky-snark-snark?). 

But it has been explained that it weren't no accident, so I guess they all just got what was a long time coming.

Everyone, consider yourself warned: Chucky don't play that!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Test on 03/18/05 at 10:44 pm

No name calling.  Period.  Even in jest.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 03/19/05 at 11:54 am

I know this is probably scant comfort, but I'm really sorry you guys lost your thread...like Martha, I never really contributed, but could see by my occasional visits that it was quite something...a tree might get burnt during a bushfire, but if the roots are deep, it'll grow again...I'm sure TOTTM has VERY deep roots. If you guys decide to keep it going, I may just pop in more often.... ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/19/05 at 2:04 pm


No name calling.  Period.  Even in jest.


Fine, meaniebutt.  :)

This thread has been a whole lotta 'ouch' coming from non-contributors who seem to enjoy our disappointment.  I think we have a right to be upset that, without warning, a long-running thread that had been our 'personal spot' on these boards vanished.  Although the reasons may be justified, I think we have every right to, as Chucky so eloquently put it:


cry about it and protest, and scream about how unjust it all is


...without being criticized.   

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/19/05 at 2:19 pm


Fine, meaniebutt.  :)

This thread has been a whole lotta 'ouch' coming from non-contributors who seem to enjoy our disappointment.  I think we have a right to be upset that, without warning, a long-running thread that had been our 'personal spot' on these boards vanished.  Although the reasons may be justified, I think we have every right to, as Chucky so eloquently put it:

...without being criticized.   


Well, clearly you're wrong.  Custard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/19/05 at 3:15 pm


Well, clearly you're wrong.  Custard.


Nice.  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Anal-ogist on 03/19/05 at 3:30 pm

3.  The speeding example is nice.  But I can't relate...because, in my experience, police officers have given me warnings and a "slow it down from now on" pat on the roof of my car.  I realize that they are not required to do that.  I realize that it is within their rights and responsibilities as an officer of the law to give me a ticket the very first time.  I appreciate, however, that they look at the situation, use good judgment to discern that I'm not intentionally trying to hurt anyone...(not running from the scene of an accident...not denying that I was speeding...etc)...and they leave it at that.  In the event, however, that an officer does decide to give me a ticket, I will accept that ticket...and I'll pay it...but yeah, I'm going to whine to my friends about it, too.  It's human nature.


;D  Great analogy, here's another one.

So you are saying that "I will use my personality to try and talk my way out of anything I know that I have done wrong".  What you seem to be saying is "I will continually flout authority until someone has the nerve to stand up to me about it, then I will turn all meek and coy and bat my eyelashes and say Oh, I didn't really realise, I am so sorry, I won't do it again (until I revert to my dominant sig line personality, and do...)"

So in your analogy, you are speeding somewhere that "you" have deemed it is safe to do so, and a kid runs out from behind a parked auto and you crush them with your Arwen juggernaut....  By your standards you seem to say that you would be happy to pay the ticket!  Nice, that would even the score up  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Yeah, Right on 03/19/05 at 4:23 pm



So you are saying that "I will use my personality to try and talk my way out of anything I know that I have done wrong".  What you seem to be saying is "I will continually flout authority until someone has the nerve to stand up to me about it, then I will turn all meek and coy and bat my eyelashes and say Oh, I didn't really realise, I am so sorry, I won't do it again (until I revert to my dominant sig line personality, and do...)"

So in your analogy, you are speeding somewhere that "you" have deemed it is safe to do so, and a kid runs out from behind a parked auto and you crush them with your Arwen juggernaut....  By your standards you seem to say that you would be happy to pay the ticket!  Nice, that would even the score up  ::)



<b>*Harassment</b>
Harassment occurs when a user targets another individual to cause distress, embarrassment, unwanted attention, or other personal discomfort. We do not condone harassment in any form...


I believe this applies to 'guests' as well...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/19/05 at 4:38 pm


<b>*Harassment</b>
Harassment occurs when a user targets another individual to cause distress, embarrassment, unwanted attention, or other personal discomfort. We do not condone harassment in any form...


I believe this applies to 'guests' as well...


I hope so.  Of course, because our Anal-friend takes the side of those in high power, it might not apply to this certain guest...but that's just me being paranoid.  I know the admins and such are above that kind of crap...  :-\\ 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/19/05 at 10:54 pm

My two cents, because I'm sure you've all been waiting  :)

Aside from one particular post, most of the "attacks" were something like this:

A:  I look pertty today.
B:  You spelled pretty wrong.  You're stupid today.
C:  Don't call my friend stupid you bastard!
D:  You suck.

I read the rules when we started, and read them again.  I personally wouldn't consider that exchange an attack, but clearly others feel differently.  So, speaking for myself, I misunderstood the rules, and the "line" for attack posts is much closer than I would have ever imagined.  If there was something else that caused the thread to be deleted, I have no idea what it was.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/20/05 at 2:25 am


;D  Great analogy, here's another one.

So you are saying that "I will use my personality to try and talk my way out of anything I know that I have done wrong".  What you seem to be saying is "I will continually flout authority until someone has the nerve to stand up to me about it, then I will turn all meek and coy and bat my eyelashes and say Oh, I didn't really realise, I am so sorry, I won't do it again (until I revert to my dominant sig line personality, and do...)"

So in your analogy, you are speeding somewhere that "you" have deemed it is safe to do so, and a kid runs out from behind a parked auto and you crush them with your Arwen juggernaut....  By your standards you seem to say that you would be happy to pay the ticket!  Nice, that would even the score up  ::)


Nice try...but...no. 

Also...it is impossible for me to take anyone seriously when they can't even punctuate their written rant correctly.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/20/05 at 10:12 pm

Well, I'm leaving for a weeklong vacation tomorrow. I expect that by the time I return, we will have gone through at least 12 'mattering' threads. See ya then!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/21/05 at 12:04 am

I watched an episode of Boobah from start to finish, shivering in fear. WHAT THE...?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/21/05 at 7:51 am


I watched an episode of Boobah from start to finish, shivering in fear. WHAT THE...?


You must follow up your experience with a delightful visit to Boohbah Online.  I realize that children's programming is supposed to prepare kids for the real world, but up until I saw this show, I didn't know they were including the acid trips.  And I thought Teletubbies was bad.

"The Boohbahs represent the imaginative power and light which allows children to control the screen action by the use of the magic word “Boohbah”, and send presents into an imaginary Storyworld for the Storypeople - Grandmamma, Grandpappa, Mrs Lady, Mr Man, Brother and Sister, Auntie and Little Dog Fido to play with and make a story in partnership with them. We hear the children intervening in the screen action by the sound of their blowing and their use of the word “Boohbah”. This motivates the action and moves the story along. Only Little Dog Fido is not wholly in their control! Children are totally engaged and have a lot of fun guessing which Storyperson will appear and what will happen next."

Mhm.  Right.  "Sound of blowing".  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 12:01 pm

I hit a new low by watching "Spring Break:  Shark Attack" last night.  The entire thing.  It helped that I was rooting for the sharks, but that pesky plot development attempt was really annoying.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 12:11 pm


I hit a new low by watching "Spring Break:  Shark Attack" last night.  The entire thing.  It helped that I was rooting for the sharks, but that pesky plot development attempt was really annoying.


I was SO going to watch that.  Seriously.  But I was over ruled.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 1:20 pm


I was SO going to watch that.  Seriously.  But I was over ruled.


Overruled by who?  And what else was on that could possibly be better than sharks eating co-eds?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/21/05 at 1:22 pm


Overruled by who?  And what else was on that could possibly be better than sharks eating co-eds?


Rhinocerouseseses Goreing Co-Eds?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 1:30 pm


Rhinocerouseseses Goreing Co-Eds?


Well...okay, you have a point.  If you were watching Summer Vacation:  Rhino Attack, it was me watching the wrong channel. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 2:49 pm


Well...okay, you have a point.  If you were watching Summer Vacation:  Rhino Attack, it was me watching the wrong channel. 


I was actually watching Christmas Vacation: Yeti Attack.  It was only so-so...the main Yeti was SUCH an over actor!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/21/05 at 3:00 pm


...the main Yeti was SUCH an over actor!


Well, she was certainly no Yette Davis.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 3:00 pm


I was actually watching Christmas Vacation: Yeti Attack.  It was only so-so...the main Yeti was SUCH an over actor!


You know, I actually suggested Winter Vacation:  Shark Attack to my wife.  Yeti would have probably been better, but I was hung up with the fish.  I pictured sharks leaping out of the trees onto people's heads, sharks sliding down the mountain on their bellies after skiers, sharks riding the ski lifts back up for a second course, sharks eating the Yeti...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 3:01 pm


Well, she was certainly no Yeti Davis.


Not Yeti, but maybe someday

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 3:03 pm

BTW, I got an email from HR titled "Outstanding Timesheet"

I hit reply and said "Thanks for the compliment!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/21/05 at 3:04 pm


Not Yeti, but maybe someday


Dam darn, but you're one quick bas custard.  You had that up before I had a chance to edit!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/21/05 at 3:08 pm


BTW, I got an email from HR titled "Outstanding Timesheet"

I hit reply and said "Thanks for the compliment!"


;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  LMAO!  That's great!  My primary mission at work for the next month or so will now be to search for opportunities to totally steal that joke.  Which means, of course, that I'm going to totally slack off on anything with a deadline, just so someone can tell me that it's 'outstanding'.   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 3:19 pm

Quoting-Schmoting...but LOLs to both of you...

And you KNOW that you're screaming at the MS Painter in me with that winter shark attack, Jeff! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 3:35 pm

Son of a...I don't know what.

This is my "I can't draw a freaking shark" face.


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/21/05 at 3:44 pm

Hmm.. i see a shark face as something like this..

Note the smug grin..

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 3:54 pm


Hmm.. i see a shark face as something like this..

Note the smug grin..


Um...what about the fact that it's supposed to be up in a tree...and attacking a Yeti?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/21/05 at 4:02 pm

That's exactly how it should be...



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 4:37 pm


That's exactly how it should be...




Bravo!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/21/05 at 5:24 pm


That's exactly how it should be...




LOL...that's pretty good!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/21/05 at 5:54 pm


That's exactly how it should be...




Dang, you are fast on the MS-Paint draw!  (Oh good lord, we're reduced to 'dang' now.  How juvenile.)

Can you say 'good lord'?  Is that okay?  Or is that offensive?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/21/05 at 6:00 pm

I find it exceptionally distastefull..

And what if a new person walked in!!!!  :o :o :o :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/21/05 at 6:01 pm


Dang, you are fast on the MS-Paint draw!  (Oh good lord, we're reduced to 'dang' now.  How juvenile.)

Can you say 'good lord'?  Is that okay?  Or is that offensive?


We could say 'golly gee', just so we don't offend anyone who doesn't believe in any lord - good, bad, or of the Rings.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/21/05 at 6:04 pm

OOOH OOOH OOOOOH! I so have to celebrate.

After attempting to do it for 4 days running.. I finally managed to achieve 'nerdvana' and get the 00:00 Post.

Covet Mine Skills


We could say 'golly gee', just so we don't offend anyone who doesn't believe in any lord - good, bad, or of the Rings.


No that could offend a golliwog.

And it just dawned on me.. i better include a picture.. otherwise i'll get in trouble for that AS WELL!

http://www.margaretsdollandteddyshoppe.com/PicGollyMerrythoughtGolly.jpg

This ^ loyal subjects is a golliwog. Until about 5 years ago, they were to be found all over our primitive backwards land.. and nobody raised an eyebrow.. until of course somebody said they were offensive.

Meh fine, be that way, the fact that they have been around for more than 100 Years as a toy for all children to enjoy and nobody said anything.. well.. Tsk Tsk

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/21/05 at 6:09 pm



Can you say 'good lord'?  Is that okay?  Or is that offensive?


Well, it made me cry...does that answer your question?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Icy on 03/21/05 at 8:25 pm

So, no threads matter any more? I'm shocked. I leave, and come back to this. It's like the whole AmIRight board has died.... wow, even I'm surprised beyond a smartass remark. Could it be I'm less of an arrogant, disrespectful bastard? Yes I am.  ;D

And I used bastard. I'm awesome.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/21/05 at 8:58 pm

Icy, don't you dare be the cause of You-Know-What.  >:(

What the freaking frack is a golliwog?  It can't be that cheap-as-free stuffed thing you found, Alchoholic.  It's creeping me out, by the way.  Make it stop!!  :\'(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/21/05 at 9:19 pm

I used to eat Golliwogs all the time as a kid.
Then some conservative teacher in my primary school claimed that cannibalism was 'evil'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/21/05 at 10:03 pm


I used to eat Golliwogs all the time as a kid.
Then some conservative teacher in my primary school claimed that cannibalism was 'evil'.


And then you moved to Tasmania and everything solved itself.  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/21/05 at 10:08 pm

My good mate is the Tasmanian Devil, I'm required to breathe my 'whatever US breath-mint product you said I smelled like' into his den after he's built up a sweat rotating with great centrifugal force.

HEY! Why you going off to AmiRight and leaving me stranded here like a git?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/22/05 at 5:30 am


Icy, don't you dare be the cause of You-Know-What.  >:(

What the freaking frack is a golliwog?  It can't be that cheap-as-free stuffed thing you found, Alchoholic.  It's creeping me out, by the way.  Make it stop!!  :\'(


You so know there is one in your cloest.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/22/05 at 9:47 am


We could say 'golly gee', just so we don't offend anyone who doesn't believe in any lord - good, bad, or of the Rings.


Please make no references to those 'Rings' movies.  Those types of fantasy stories border on the occult and offend my Judeo-Christian sensibilities. 

Of course, my reference to my 'Judeo-Christian sensibilities' doubtless are offensive to some... but I wouldn't have had to make reference to them at all had you not been so insensitive as to impose your occultism on this thread in the first place. 

Custard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/22/05 at 10:01 am


Please make no references to those 'Rings' movies.  Those types of fantasy stories border on the occult and offend my Judeo-Christian sensibilities. 



If I were not so afraid to rock the boat, I would certainly give you a piece of my mind, Mr. Jay.  As things stand, however, this is as aggressive as I can get.


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/22/05 at 11:03 am


If I were not so afraid to rock the boat, I would certainly give you a piece of my mind, Mr. Jay.  As things stand, however, this is as aggressive as I can get.





I don't know...Mr. Neutral Face is looking at me rather funny. Or is that a Mrs. Nuetral Face? (I wouldn't want to offend the face based on racial, gender, or anything else that might pop up)

I'd complain, but I'm afraid that by doing that sheer act I would be creating an atmosphere  that is not conducive to free radical thought and or will. And you know, I simply can't have that be a part of my psychological make-up. I mean, it would clash with my aura, and that will not do at all.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/22/05 at 11:54 am

***IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT***

***IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT***


It has come to the attention of the party, that you the people are useing wit and humor.

If these actions do not stop immediately The Party shall be left with no choice but to use non-offensive Force.

That is all.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/22/05 at 2:09 pm


So...I got sent home from work a little while ago...because I was lucky enough to pick up the phone and receive a bomb threat.  The caller only gave me 15 minutes to get out.  Nice.  After he hung up on me, I had to call the main office, and then I had to call the police...and then I had to go around to all of our rooms and evacuate everyone.  Got in my car.  Came home. 

The police have my cell number...I'm assuming they'll call me when they clear the building.


Sahweet!

Only 15 minutes, that seems a bit harsh.

I'm sure i specified 30.

Police have you cell number.. was this there doing or yours  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/22/05 at 2:56 pm


Sahweet!

Only 15 minutes, that seems a bit harsh.

I'm sure i specified 30.



I'm sure that the suggestion that you were a participant in some sort of illegal activity -- even as a joke -- is a violation of article something, subsection something, item something... I'm sure I remember reading something like that when I first signed up over a year ago...  Or did I see that on Boston Legal...? Anywhoo...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/22/05 at 2:59 pm


I'm sure that the suggestion that you were a participant in some sort of illegal activity -- even as a joke -- is a violation of article something, subsection something, item something... I'm sure I remember reading something like that when I first signed up over a year ago...  Or did I see that on Boston Legal...? Anywhoo...


Doggone it..

Sorry Canines.. didn't mean it like that..

Errrm.. Gee Willickers Leo, you caught me red (No 'Person of American Nationality from many many many years ago' offence intended) somewhat pinky, yellowy handed.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/22/05 at 3:03 pm


Doggone it..

Sorry Canines.. didn't mean it like that..

Errrm.. Gee Willickers Leo, you caught me red (No 'Person of American Nationality from many many many years ago' offence intended) somewhat pinky, yellowy handed.




Custard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/22/05 at 3:20 pm


Custard.


No thanks.  I'm lactose intolerant.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/22/05 at 3:51 pm


No thanks.  I'm lactose intolerant.


Well, I could call you a tart instead.  But that might be taken with the wrong meaning.

And then I'd get my just desserts.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/22/05 at 4:05 pm


Well, I could call you a tart instead.  But that might be taken with the wrong meaning.

And then I'd get my just desserts.


LOL.

Of all the times I have been called a tart, I have never been offended.  However, I cannot speak for the many people surrounding me at those times, who may have entered counseling over the incident(s).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/22/05 at 4:58 pm

Well, what about 'honeybun'?
Though some people find breakfast foods offensive. 
And certainly to pluralize it brings an entire different connotation entirely.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/22/05 at 5:32 pm


Well, what about 'honeybun'?
Though some people find breakfast foods offensive. 
And certainly to pluralize it brings an entire connotation entirely.


Another one that I don't mind at all.  I prefer it to some of the names people have chosen, actually.

I also like 'crumbcake.'

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/22/05 at 5:34 pm


Another one that I don't mind at all.  I prefer it to some of the names people have chosen, actually.

I also like 'crumbcake.'


I find American Girls melt at 'Petal'

I assume you are now in a small pool on the floor giggling?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/22/05 at 5:44 pm


I find American Girls melt at 'Petal'

I assume you are now in a small pool on the floor giggling?


Are you serious? 

Does anyone know where I can find a home kit to test whether or not I'm really an American girl?  Because...now...as I sit here, not on the floor, not giggling...I can't be sure.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Oral-ogy on 03/22/05 at 6:30 pm


Nice try...but...no. 

Also...it is impossible for me to take anyone seriously when they can't even punctuate their written rant correctly.


Ooops! How could I have missed that... ?

Here you go sweetie:

          "

           :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Apricot on 03/22/05 at 7:44 pm


LOL.

Of all the times I have been called a tart, I have never been offended.  However, I cannot speak for the many people surrounding me at those times, who may have entered counseling over the incident(s).


As having been to years of counseling about irrelevant issues, I find it offense that you bring up counseling. Stop it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jaytee on 03/22/05 at 7:59 pm


I find American Girls melt at 'Petal'


There'd be no melting in Australia - Petal is a brand of toilet paper  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/22/05 at 10:18 pm

Sadly, I've been called "Charmin" many a time.  ;)

...and "Two-ply".  ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/22/05 at 11:30 pm


Sadly, I've been called "Charmin" many a time.   ;)

...and "Two-ply".  ???


Hee!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Armstrong on 03/23/05 at 12:15 am

who came up with pumpkin anyway... I'm even guilty of that one. I called my ex punkin for the longest time. Never really understood why it made for a good pet name though :)

and charmin is definitely a beautiful name for ANYONE squeezably soft


"Let's see.... toilet paper *beep* toilet paper *beep* aaaaaannnnd toilet paper *beep* mhm toilet paper *beep* chewin... hey now! you kids don't go sticking this gum under any chairs!!"

"Oh we won't"

"Ok then... toilet paper *beep*"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/23/05 at 3:36 am


Are you serious? 

Does anyone know where I can find a home kit to test whether or not I'm really an American girl?  Because...now...as I sit here, not on the floor, not giggling...I can't be sure.


I'm 100% sure.

Maybe you were smuggled across the border?

We wonder why you self tan.. you.. you.. IVAN!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/23/05 at 8:39 am



... you.. you.. IVAN!!!



What a terrible thing to say! 

(Nyah, nyah, Jeff -- beat you to it.)   :P

By the way, that ' :P ' is not by any means to be construed as an attack, insult or harrassment of any kind.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/23/05 at 8:56 am


What a terrible thing to say! 

(Nyah, nyah, Jeff -- beat you to it.)   :P

By the way, that ' :P ' is not by any means to be construed as an attack, insult or harrassment of any kind.


Before coffee.  I never had a chance  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/23/05 at 8:59 am




And it just dawned on me.. i better include a picture.. otherwise i'll get in trouble for that AS WELL!

http://www.margaretsdollandteddyshoppe.com/PicGollyMerrythoughtGolly.jpg

This ^ loyal subjects is a golliwog. Until about 5 years ago, they were to be found all over our primitive backwards land.. and nobody raised an eyebrow.. until of course somebody said they were offensive.

Meh fine, be that way, the fact that they have been around for more than 100 Years as a toy for all children to enjoy and nobody said anything.. well.. Tsk Tsk


This is more like the one I had as a child

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/23/05 at 9:01 am


Well, what about 'honeybun'?



Not a nickname I'm particularly keen on.

Someone at work calls me this quite a lot of the time.  The rest of the time he alternates between 'doll' and 'darling'.  He calls all the women in the department those names though.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/23/05 at 9:39 am


Not a nickname I'm particularly keen on.

Someone at work calls me this quite a lot of the time.  The rest of the time he alternates between 'doll' and 'darling'.  He calls all the women in the department those names though.


I assume he is currently gagged and bound in his office chair?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/23/05 at 9:43 am


What a terrible thing to say! 

(Nyah, nyah, Jeff -- beat you to it.)   :P

By the way, that ' :P ' is not by any means to be construed as an attack, insult or harrassment of any kind.


I'm offended that you don't want to harrass me.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/23/05 at 9:49 am


Not a nickname I'm particularly keen on.

Someone at work calls me this quite a lot of the time.  The rest of the time he alternates between 'doll' and 'darling'.  He calls all the women in the department those names though.


Maybe it's an American thing, but pretty much every woman I know would rip that guy a new would voice her disapproval at such terms in terms so strong he'd never even think about opening his mouth with that kind of nonsense again.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/23/05 at 9:53 am


Maybe it's an American thing, but pretty much every woman I know would rip that guy a new would voice her disapproval at such terms in terms so strong he'd never even think about opening his mouth with that kind of nonsense again.




I assume he is currently gagged and bound in his office chair?


We all reckon his brain is so gone from long term drug abuse that he can't remember people's names!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/23/05 at 10:57 am



We all reckon his brain is so gone from long term drug abuse that he can't remember people's names!


Oh, well I suppose the men in the office are 'honeybuns' and 'sweetcakes' too, then.  That's cool.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/23/05 at 11:06 am

Never actually heard him use those terms.  but I will listen out for it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/23/05 at 11:16 am


Oh, well I suppose the men in the office are 'honeybuns' and 'sweetcakes' too, then.  That's cool.


I get called "sweetie," "honey," and "cutie" by a lot of people in the office...men and women.  Tech Support Fred and the "you've got a cute butt" guy are the only ones who annoy me.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/23/05 at 11:58 am



Someone at work calls me quite a lot of the time. The rest of the time he alternates between 'doll' and 'darling'. He calls all the women in the department those names though.





I get called "sweetie," "honey," and "cutie" by a lot of people in the office...men and women.



Wow! It must be really keen to be living in the 50's you guys! 

But sorry, I can't resist spoiling things for you:  Ricky and Lucy have a baby, move to the country and the whole show goes to hell.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/23/05 at 12:01 pm


I'm offended that you don't want to harrass me.


I'm offended by that term.  Please use 'harrear'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/23/05 at 12:33 pm


I'm offended by that term.  Please use 'harrear'.


LOL!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/23/05 at 12:57 pm

In case anyone was losing sleep with wondering...

TSF is currently at my desk, sniffing daffodils and singing "A Horse With No Name," which he tried to tell me is performed by "Yes." 

Um...actualy, Fred...No.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/23/05 at 1:02 pm


In case anyone was losing sleep with wondering...

TSF is currently at my desk, sniffing daffodils and singing "A Horse With No Name," which he tried to tell me is performed by "Yes." 

Um...actualy, Fred...No.


It's not performed by "No" either.  Sorry.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/23/05 at 1:22 pm


It's not performed by "No" either.  Sorry.

>:(

You are a middle aged net nerd.

And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 8:12 am



"Now chickpoiiiiye..."



That's a culturally biased and therefore offensive post.
Please don't make fun of the supposed peculiarities of outback pronunciation.
Mate.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 8:19 am

::)  Oh, I guess this is the point where I have to say "oh, that was sarcasm, by the way."  Ok, consider it said.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/24/05 at 9:35 am


Be a 'guest', be a 'guest' -- get that griping off your chest!
(When you want to air a grievance, anonymity is best!)
Fake a name to retort (maybe… 'Mrs. Duppensport'?)
Life is not a dress rehearsal -- step right up, be controversial!
"I've been One'd!"
"I hate poop!"
"That thread's gone? Hey, what's the scoop?"
Launch a dialogue (or diatribe) with zest!
If you feel justified (yet need to run and hide…)
Then be a 'guest', be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

Be a 'guest', be a 'guest' (it's okay, you're not a pest --
After all, why should you stand behind a post of pure protest?)
You can rage, you can vent to your feeble heart's extent!
Blast your bluster til you're blue-faced (then switch back and be a two-face!)
"Chuck this parodist sucks!" 
"Can't leave comments? What the f…?"
Thoughts profound as these deserve be expressed!
But if you speak as 'you', you might see 2-2-2s
So be a 'guest', be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

If you want to grumble and start up a cyber-rumble
But you fear your popularity will dive,
Jeopardizing all your future ratings, minimizing future 5-5-5s
Log out from your profile, you'll have freedom to be hostile
And you'll find your animosity can thrive!
Yet when posters view your profile postings
They'll still think you're great (though you're that nasty 'guest' they hate), so

Be a 'guest' be a 'guest', be the one that folks detest
Be the wussiest of p****, in the north, south, east or west
Don't stand up for your views!  (What would others think of you?)
No, just cower like a coward (if it makes you feel empowered!)
God forbid you're not liked by each Peter, dip or Mike
For to lose a 'fan' would cause you too much stress
So if you have the itch, to gripe or moan or b****
There is no need to suppress all the things you want expressed!
Be a 'guest' be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!


You're submitting to the main site too, right?  (hint, hint)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 9:37 am

Yeah, Leo...seriously.  Submit it.  But you should probably use the name Mavis when you do.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 9:41 am

Thanks, guys. 
Geez, you two are fast -- I had deleted this about a minute after a posted it, and was going to post it in it's own thread instead...
I guess I'll have to leave it here now.
Custards.

"Be A 'Guest'!" Parody of 'Be Our Guest!' from 'Beauty And The Beast'

Be a 'guest', be a 'guest' -- get that griping off your chest!
(When you want to air a grievance, anonymity is best!)
Fake a name to retort (maybe… 'Mrs. Duppensport'?)
Life is not a dress rehearsal -- step right up, be controversial!
"I've been One'd!"
"I hate poop!"
"That thread's gone? Hey, what's the scoop?"
Launch a dialogue (or diatribe) with zest!
If you feel justified (yet need to run and hide…)
Then be a 'guest', be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

Be a 'guest', be a 'guest' (it's okay, you're not a pest --
After all, why should you stand behind a post of pure protest?)
You can rage, you can vent to your feeble heart's extent!
Blast your bluster til you're blue-faced (then switch back and be a two-face!)
"Chuck, this parodist sucks!"
"Can't leave comments? What the f…?"
Thoughts profound as these deserve be expressed!
But if you speak as 'you', you might see 2-2-2s
So be a 'guest', be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

If you want to grumble and start up a cyber-rumble
But you fear your popularity will dive,
Jeopardizing all your future ratings, minimizing future 5-5-5s,
Log out from your profile, you'll have freedom to be hostile
And you'll find your animosity can thrive!
Yet when posters view your profile postings,
They'll still think you're great (though you're that nasty 'guest' they hate), so


Be a 'guest' be a 'guest', be the one that folks detest
Be the wussiest of p***ies, in the North, South, East or West
Don't stand up for your views!  (What would others think of you?)
No, just cower like a coward (if it makes you feel empowered!)
God forbid you're not liked by each Peter, Dic or Mike,
For to lose a 'fan' would cause you too much stress!
So if you have the itch, to gripe or moan or b****
There is no need to suppress all the things you want expressed!
Be a 'guest' be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 9:47 am

Um...not that I'm excitable or anything...

But would anyone else take exception to seeing a man walking down the hall with a large ax?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 9:53 am


Um...not that I'm excitable or anything...

But would anyone else take exception to seeing a man walking down the hall with a large ax?


???


Oh, I get it now.  Misread your post.

Did he have a big blue ox with him?  If so, no worries.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/24/05 at 9:57 am


Um...not that I'm excitable or anything...

But would anyone else take exception to seeing a man walking down the hall with a large ax?


I'd be tempted to ask if he has an ax to grind, but I'd probably just stay out of his way.  Unless it's Fred.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/24/05 at 10:05 am


Um...not that I'm excitable or anything...

But would anyone else take exception to seeing a man walking down the hall with a large ax?


Was he wearing a mask?


then I'd be worried

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 10:07 am

No ox.

Not Fred.

No mask.

But you know...if he's not wearing a mask...that just means he HAS to kill you.  I mean...if he were into doing bad things with his ax...he'd have to.  But I'm sure he's just carrying it around...to get the ladies.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 10:13 am



No ox.



So... not Paul Bunyan, then...



Not Fred.



So... not Freddie Kruger, then...



No mask.



So... not Jason, then...


Gee... I'm at a loss as to who he might be....  Why don't you just ax him?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/24/05 at 10:15 am


Um...not that I'm excitable or anything...

But would anyone else take exception to seeing a man walking down the hall with a large a$s?


I totally misread your quote.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 10:25 am


So... not Paul Bunyan, then...

So... not Freddie Kruger, then...

So... not Jason, then...


Gee... I'm at a loss as to who he might be....  Why don't you just ax him?


Hee!


I totally misread your quote.


Oh how embarrassing...that's what I MEANT...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 10:28 am

CUT IT OUT!

People are wondering why I'm guffawing to myself this early in the morning...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/24/05 at 10:29 am


CUT IT OUT!




Well then you'd just have a big "ax" lying on the floor.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/24/05 at 10:31 am





No mask.







So... not Jason, then...




I was thinking more along the lines of a hood like an executioner

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 10:44 am


CUT IT OUT!

People are wondering why I'm guffawing to myself this early in the morning...


As opposed to when he guffaws to himself later in the day...people just chalk that up to his previously diagnosed "Afternoon Psychosis."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/24/05 at 11:09 am

So something like this???

Just trying to establish an identity..

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 11:15 am


As opposed to when he guffaws to himself later in the day...people just chalk that up to his previously diagnosed "Afternoon Psychosis."


Leo Jay's guffawing -- must be afternoon psychosis
Though he tries to stifle it and hopes no one will notice
His attempts at subtlety are somewhat less than hopeless
Leo Jay is suffering from AmIRight psychosis

(just 'cause I never get a chance to parody that tune...)   ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 11:27 am


Leo Jay's guffawing -- must be afternoon psychosis
Though he tries to stifle it and hopes no one will notice
His attempts at subtlety are somewhat less than hopeless
Leo Jay is suffering from AmIRight psychosis

(just 'cause I never get a chance to parody that tune...)   ::)


Congratulations!  Bravo!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 11:33 am


Congratulations!  Bravo!


Thanks!  You can tell that that's written to the tune of Luka, right?  I think I got the pacing just about right...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 11:41 am


Thanks!  You can tell that that's written to the tune of Luka, right?  I think I got the pacing just about right...


Actually I thought it was to "Supercali..." 

Dammit.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 11:48 am


Actually I thought it was to "Supercali..." 

darnit.


Oh, please.  Would I ever do that overdone tune?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Apricot on 03/24/05 at 12:02 pm


::)  Oh, I guess this is the point where I have to say "oh, that was sarcasm, by the way."  Ok, consider it said.



Welcome to my world....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 12:09 pm


Oh, please.  Would I ever do that overdone tune?


What can I say?  When you're right, you're right.  I'm sorry.

Oh...and congratulations on making it into Apricot's world...I know you've been trying for a while...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Apricot on 03/24/05 at 1:08 pm

;D  It's a rather interesting world, Arwen- It has things like this!

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/neo3.gif

Yes, the copyright is there in my world, too.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/24/05 at 2:13 pm

Jeff, I love your idea for the Sade parody -- I dare you to take that one on...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Snuff on 03/24/05 at 2:18 pm

So, is this the new TOTTM until it gets deleted?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/24/05 at 2:33 pm


So, is this the new TOTTM until it gets deleted?


TOTTM will never be replaced.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/24/05 at 10:47 pm

I was waiting at a bus stop today to get to my dear old Italian nonna's house and this freaky looking 70-year old Lebanese guy sat next to me in a cheetah-style pimp hat and huge leather boots. He started talking to me in a thick accent, asking me everday questions that gradually evolved into an eerie territory. I'm going to turn it into a play or something just to get it out of my system.
Note today was Easter, so the streets were virtually abandoned.
WARNING: THE following is reeeeeeally disturbing.

*guy sits down next to me at bus stop*
"Hot today, yes?"
"Oh. Yeah."
"How old are you? Nineteen?"
"Uh, seventeen."
*flicking my cheek*
"So when you start shaving? This year?"
"Um, no, a few years back."
"Hmm... Some people have thick hair. You understand? It takes 3, 4 times to shave off. But the Asians, they usually have no hair. You understand?"
"Yeah."
*awkward silence. Notice him eyeing me up and down out of corner of eye*
"So, you at school?"
"No, at Uni. Just started."
"You have gfmmmbbll?"
"What?"
"You have girlfriend?"
"Uh, no. I used to but I moved down here to uni."
"Was she virgin?"
"...what?"
"Was she virgin?"
"Uhhh...yeah..."
*throaty chuckling*
"Yes, they very hard to find. You need to buy them things. Lots of money, make friends with them, you understand?"
*strain a weak laugh... hastily look at watch*
"Do you know when the bus gets here?"
"No. I have car here. You want a lift?"
*ribcage ice*
"Uh... ... the bus should be here soon."
"Come on, I give lift. Where you going?"
*thinking that a 3 block walk away from nonna's house should be safe enough drop-off point*
"The hospital."
"OK. I take you there."
*kicking myself as I follow him to his van.*
"You make her scream?"
"...hmm?"
"Your girlfriend, you make her scream?"
*good lord, what am I doing in this guy's car?*
"...no."
"Some girls, they scream. If too big, you understand?"
*further throaty chuckling, elbows my upper arm*
"Right."
"When I first come here, I stay in flat. Ten, twelve rooms in a row. Share bathroom. There was a boy next door to me who was an electrician, about your age. He would come home each Friday with different girl. Every week, from party. His curtain didn't work properly, you understand? I would see him going up and down, with the girl, see, every week. I ask him after two year how many virgins he do it with and he say twenty two. You think impossible?"
*what the hell is your obsession with virgins?*
"Uh...well, it's an effort."
"Yes, every week for two year he come home with different girl. How many virgin you been with?"
*get me out of here*
"Isn't that the turn-off for the hospital?"
"There were car in the road, I take the next turn."
*he's going to kill me, isn't he.*
*thankfully takes the next turn*
"So, you try get new girlfriend?"
"...Yeah."
"Yes. Another person I ask how many virgins he be with, he say thirty five. You think impossible?"
*what the briny motherfu-*
"Uhh, no."
*finally arrive at hospital*
"Well, you go to party. Lots of girls, you understand?"
"Yeah, I'll uh, try."
*throaty chuckle, greasy pinch of cheek*
"Thanks for the ride."
*grab suitcase and FLEE.*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/25/05 at 2:32 am

And now that I've finished my hour-long hot shower, time to add to my coveted 'Urine List':

Missy Higgins- 'The Special Two'
Only took fourteen months for the Aussie charts to move on from 'Scar'.
I'm currently hooked on 'The Sound Of White' EP.

Scribe- 'Stop The Music' and 'My Lady'
NZ rapping. Not nearly as disastrous as it sounds.

Nelly & Tim McGraw- "Over and Over"
The clip is brilliant. And probably three months old. (We're a little slow on the uptake down here.)


Definitely NOT on my Urine List is 'Nitty' and his blasphemous appropriations of the classics 'Sugar Sugar' and 'Hey Mickey!" into 'Nasty Girl' and 'Bitty'. Atleast go the way of the teenybopper and use someone else's ORIGINAL lyrics.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/25/05 at 10:20 am


I was waiting at a bus stop today to get to my dear old Italian nonna's house and this freaky looking 70-year old Lebanese guy sat next to me in a cheetah-style pimp hat and huge leather boots. He started talking to me in a thick accent, asking me everday questions that gradually evolved into an eerie territory. I'm going to turn it into a play or something just to get it out of my system.
Note today was Easter, so the streets were virtually abandoned.
WARNING: THE following is reeeeeeally disturbing.



I'll admit it.  I feel like crying.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/25/05 at 10:38 am

Did you dare watch 'The Office' last night.  Bizarre.  It was completely LIFTED from the BBC version.  Dialogue practically word-for-word.  Even the office layout, and the blocking and line delivery.  So.  Weird.  The Dawn counterpart is not cute/charming enough, and the Tim counterpart is too conventionally good-looking/cool, so that whole dynamic just doesn't work.  But overall, if I'd never seen the original, I have to admit, I'd find it reasonably funny.  Certainly a cut above conventional American TV comedy.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/25/05 at 11:06 am


Did you dare watch 'The Office' last night.  Bizarre.  It was completely LIFTED from the BBC version.  Dialogue practically word-for-word.  Even the office layout, and the blocking and line delivery.   So.  Weird.  The Dawn counterpart is not cute/charming enough, and the Tim counterpart is too conventionally good-looking/cool, so that whole dynamic just doesn't work.  But overall, if I'd never seen the original, I have to admit, I'd find it reasonably funny.  Certainly a cut above conventional American TV comedy.


I didn't watch.  And I really might have caved...but...

...I have a friend who used to live in Utah when I lived in Utah...who now lives in Colorado...and he was passing through Wyoming on his way back to Utah for the weekend...so along another friend who lives here, who also used to live in Utah with me...we went out.

We went to Applebees...which is having a promotion right now called "Barbecue Fever."  When we were seated, however, the lady seating us was telling us about the specials, and I wasn't looking at the menu, which said "Barbecue Fever," and I could have SWORN that she said "Barbecued Beaver."  My friend who lives here in town ALSO thought that is what she said. 

So...we laughed about that...and then went along our merry ways deciding what to order.  When the waiter came back, I ordered my salad, my Wyoming friend ordered her steak...and my Utah/Colorado friend said, "Yeah, I'm going to get the Barbecued Beaver."

I am telling you...I almost fell off of my chair.  Seriously.  I could not contain myself.  My friend who lives here in town, she was laughing too, but she obviously has more self control than I do...and certainly didn't look like as much of a jackass as I must have.  But I couldn't help it.

Tears...doubling over...I was going to DIE.

The waiter didn't get it.  "Uh...we don't have Barbecued Beef."

This, of course, sent me into MORE peals of laughter.

My friend:  Actually...the fever.  I want the fever.

Waiter:  Would you like a steak?  (as he looks at me, still laughing out of control on the other side of the table)

My friend:  She's just laughing because Beaver rhymes with fever.  It was a joke.

(My nodding...trying to catch my breath...laughing still...)

My Wyoming friend:  When she seated us, it sounded like she said 'Beaver.'

(yep, still laughing)

Waiter:  Oh.  Yeah.  So, do you want a steak?

(crying)

My friend:  No.  I want the ribs.

Waiter:  Okay.

------------Later in the evening--------------

My friend:  (stopping the waiter)  I'm going to need a box for my Beaver.

(There I go again!!)

Waiter:  Oh.  Ha Ha Ha (the most forced laugh EVER) Sure.



It really was a GREAT night...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/25/05 at 12:24 pm



..." and I could have SWORN that she said "Barbecued Beaver."



Well, you know if you'd been having dinner with David Brent, his response to the waitress would have been: "Ooooh! Kinky!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/25/05 at 12:29 pm

How tempted am I to go to Applebee's for dinner tonight  ;D

My wife watched the Office (neither of us have seen the original).  She said "Jeff, it was horrible...but you'd love it!"  (I was watching basketball)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/25/05 at 12:30 pm

That is a HILARIOUS story, btw, Arwen.  I'm doing the morning psychosis thing.   ;D

Margaret Cho does a routine in her 'Notorious C.H.O.' concert video where she talks about being overdue on a video rental, and the woman at the counter snarking on her for not being able to get enough "Beaver Fever".

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/25/05 at 12:48 pm


How tempted am I to go to Applebee's for dinner tonight  ;D

My wife watched the Office (neither of us have seen the original).  She said "Jeff, it was horrible...but you'd love it!"  (I was watching basketball)


LOL to the 2nd power!!


That is a HILARIOUS story, btw, Arwen.  I'm doing the morning psychosis thing.  ;D

Margaret Cho does a routine in her 'Notorious C.H.O.' concert video where she talks about being overdue on a video rental, and the woman at the counter snarking on her for not being able to get enough "Beaver Fever".


Hee!

And don't worry...I love you no matter what time of the day your psychosis hits...(except, of course, for my lunch hour...I prefer to be present for said psychosis)... ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/25/05 at 1:45 pm


LOL to the 2nd power!!

Hee!

And don't worry...I love you no matter what time of the day your psychosis hits...(except, of course, for my lunch hour...I prefer to be present for said psychosis)... ;)




You mean you DON'T spend your lunch hour on the messageboards?  Custard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/25/05 at 5:32 pm


Tears...doubling over...I was going to DIE.

(My nodding...trying to catch my breath...laughing still...)


(yep, still laughing)


(crying)

(There I go again!!)

It really was a GREAT night...


I'll admit it.  I feel like crying.

It is only inevitable that Australia follows suit of 'Idol', 'Survivor', 'X-Factor', 'Big Brother' et al and do an Aussie Office.
Seriously, though, half the humour of 'The Office' is in the accent.
"I bet they did awwral, too." -Gareth

Fourteen minutes of life consumed:

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/25/05 at 11:34 pm


Fourteen minutes of life consumed:


Mona Loca, Mona Loca, Luke's defamed you
In his digital-distortion dipstick style
Is it only cause he's lonely that he's framed you?
(So you'll hang around him for a little while?)
Do you send his heart a-flutter, Mona Loca?
Does he find you sweet as creamy custard tart?
Are his dreams, are his thoughts all of courtship
As he lies there…  as he lies bare
with his horns? Does he feel, Mona Loca
That you're a soul who only loves him for his art?
Mona Loca!
Mona Loca!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/26/05 at 8:16 am

:o

Luke...never again.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/26/05 at 12:00 pm

I'm back! Did y'all miss me? (More appropriate question: did y'all notice?)

So, it's almost College time for me. I applied to eight schools, and so far I'm 3 for 3 with acceptances. I got into Macalester College and Carleton College (small liberal arts schools in Minnesota) last week, and I just got my acceptace to Vassar today. Now, I'm waiting on Yale, UPenn, Swarthmore, Bowdoin and Amherst. Wish me luck!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/26/05 at 12:57 pm


I'm back! Did y'all miss me? (More appropriate question: did y'all notice?)

So, it's almost College time for me. I applied to eight schools, and so far I'm 3 for 3 with acceptances. I got into Macalester College and Carleton College (small liberal arts schools in Minnesota) last week, and I just got my acceptace to Vassar today. Now, I'm waiting on Yale, UPenn, Swarthmore, Bowdoin and Amherst. Wish me luck!


Excellent! Congratulations!  Do you have a clear favorite?  You somehow strike me as a Yalie.  Best of luck with your decision.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/26/05 at 7:21 pm


Excellent! Congratulations!  Do you have a clear favorite?  You somehow strike me as a Yalie.  Best of luck with your decision.


Very perceptive. Yale is inddeed my first choice. However, I'd be happy at any of those places. Swarthmore, in particular, seems like a little peice of heaven in Pennslyvania. Plus, it's even harder to get into than Yale (9% acceptance vs. Yale's 14% or so).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/27/05 at 2:17 am

FYI...

Finding Neverland...FABulous...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/27/05 at 3:41 pm


FYI...

Finding Neverland...FABulous...


Peter Pan has to be my all-time favorite children's fable. To see the movie explain how the story evolved was most interesting. No big special effects or big budget, just good old-fashioned story telling at its best. The entire cast (not just Johnny) was simply perfect. Johnny Depp brought tenderness to the role that made me want to cry at the end. Come to think of it, I do believe I was teary eyed towards the end, and only one other movie has ever done that to me. And if you must know, that other movie was "Old Yeller" (hey, I'm a sucker for cute dogs).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/27/05 at 5:37 pm


...I do believe I was teary eyed towards the end, and only one other movie has ever done that to me...


I cried, I'll admit it.  Although...I think it was the little boy, Peter, who made me cry. 

Then again, I cry at everything.  I cried at "U.S. Marshalls." 

Seriously. 

I'm a sensitive bastard, okay?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/27/05 at 6:13 pm


Luke...never again.


Oh, well I guess I'll halt productions on redoing Duchamp's 'Urinal'...

Urine List quickie: The last Grammy's, utterly brilliant.
*alights cigarette*
Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/27/05 at 6:58 pm


Oh, well I guess I'll halt productions on redoing Duchamp's 'Urinal'...

Urine List quickie: The last Grammy's, utterly brilliant.
*alights cigarette*
Was it as good for you as it was for me?


You're an odd thing, but I'll pretend I know what you're talking about.

Yes, my Grammy's urine was probably doubly as good for me as it was for you. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/27/05 at 8:22 pm


Oh, well I guess I'll halt productions on redoing Duchamp's 'Urinal'...

Urine List quickie: The last Grammy's, utterly brilliant.
*alights cigarette*
Was it as good for you as it was for me?



You're an odd thing, but I'll pretend I know what you're talking about.

Yes, my Grammy's urine was probably doubly as good for me as it was for you.


Urine sane.  Both of you.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/27/05 at 8:57 pm


I cried, I'll admit it.  Although...I think it was the little boy, Peter, who made me cry. 

Then again, I cry at everything.  I cried at "U.S. Marshalls." 

Seriously. 

I'm a sensitive bas****, okay?


I think for me it was when the mother sees the play unfold before her eyes in her own house. Letting her visit Neverland and then to slowly transition to the funeral was very emotional on so many levels for me.

It seems ironic that the real Peter more or less was robbed of his childhood by circumstances beyond his control, while the fantasy version forever rejects the notion of growing up to become a man.

And if you are a sensitive Bas**** (I'm not sure I'm allowed to repeat that word), then what does that make me I wonder?

Kim.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 03/27/05 at 10:20 pm



Urine sane.  Both of you.


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/28/05 at 9:17 am

Um, thanks bass turds -- I was going to see 'Neverland', but I guess I don't have to bother now...  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/28/05 at 9:35 am

I would have just read the Cliff Notes anyway.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/28/05 at 9:43 am


Um, thanks bass turds -- I was going to see 'Neverland', but I guess I don't have to bother now...  ::)


You can blame Kim...I didn't give anything away!


I would have just read the Cliff Notes anyway.


Hee!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kim West on 03/28/05 at 10:39 am


Um, thanks bass turds -- I was going to see 'Neverland', but I guess I don't have to bother now...  ::)


I'm sorry.

(running into my corner to sulk for the rest of the day now)  :(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/28/05 at 11:00 am

Neverland was the only one of the Oscar best picture nominated films that I didn't see. My sister loved it, but it looked a little corny for me.

<threadhijack> Now, Million Dollar Baby, that's a film for the ages! </threadhijack>

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 03/28/05 at 2:54 pm


I think for me it was when the mother sees the play unfold before her eyes in her own house. Letting her visit Neverland and then to slowly transition to the funeral was very emotional on so many levels for me.

It seems ironic that the real Peter more or less was robbed of his childhood by circumstances beyond his control, while the fantasy version forever rejects the notion of growing up to become a man.

And if you are a sensitive Bas**** (I'm not sure I'm allowed to repeat that word), then what does that make me I wonder?

Kim.



I was going to see it, but I didn't want to face social degeneracy and the Depps of society

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/28/05 at 3:23 pm


I was going to see it, but I didn't want to face social degeneracy and the Depps of society


::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 03/28/05 at 7:12 pm


I was going to see it, but I didn't want to face social degeneracy and the Depps of society


Speaking of, I hear that Tim Burton has cast ol' Johnny D to play Willy Wonka in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/28/05 at 9:05 pm


Speaking of, I hear that Tim Burton has cast ol' Johnny D to play Willy Wonka in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.



It's true.  I'm thinking that, instead of being a remake of the original, traumatically freaky film, it's going to be the 'kinky' version.

You know...because it's Johnny Depp. 

Mmm, and I bet he falls into the chocolate river and the children have to lick it off...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/28/05 at 9:41 pm

Oh, so that's why you've been spending the past two days waiting in line at the Children's Casting Agency?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/28/05 at 10:28 pm


Oh, so that's why you've been spending the past two days waiting in line at the Children's Casting Agency?


Excuse me, but I'm not waiting in line.  I'm going in for a PRIVATE audition with the Depp himself, and he's sharing his Gobstoppers.  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/28/05 at 11:57 pm




Mmm, and I bet he falls into the chocolate river and the children have to lick it off...


Excuse me...are there any 27 year old children in the movie? 

Just wondering... 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/29/05 at 12:08 am


Speaking of, I hear that Tim Burton has cast ol' Johnny D to play Willy Wonka in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.


They're actually done filming, Sillies...

...Johnny's already working on POTC 2....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/29/05 at 12:17 am


They're actually done filming, Sillies...

...Johnny's already working on POTC 2....


Oh.

Well are they looking for anyone to lick him in that one?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/29/05 at 1:02 am


Oh.

Well are they looking for anyone to lick him in that one?


I've offered my services at what I think is a very reasonable rate...I'll pay them 10,000 dollars.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/29/05 at 1:03 am


Did you dare watch 'The Office' last night.  Bizarre.  It was completely LIFTED from the BBC version.  Dialogue practically word-for-word.  Even the office layout, and the blocking and line delivery.   So.  Weird.  The Dawn counterpart is not cute/charming enough, and the Tim counterpart is too conventionally good-looking/cool, so that whole dynamic just doesn't work.  But overall, if I'd never seen the original, I have to admit, I'd find it reasonably funny.  Certainly a cut above conventional American TV comedy.


Saw some clips...

BOOOOO!  >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 03/29/05 at 5:10 am



It's true.  I'm thinking that, instead of being a remake of the original, traumatically freaky film, it's going to be the 'kinky' version.

You know...because it's Johnny Depp. 

Mmm, and I bet he falls into the chocolate river and the children have to lick it off...


I'm hoping it's more like the novel than the Gene Wilder film.  Much as I appreciated the film when I was about 8, I think the darker, far more sadistic tone of the novel will be more enjoyable these days.

Given that it's Depp & Burton, I'm thinking it is gonna be the darker version... they just do dark too well together for it to be anything else :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/29/05 at 7:37 am


I'm hoping it's more like the novel than the Gene Wilder film.  Much as I appreciated the film when I was about 8, I think the darker, far more sadistic tone of the novel will be more enjoyable these days.

Given that it's Depp & Burton, I'm thinking it is gonna be the darker version... they just do dark too well together for it to be anything else :)



Mmmm...dark chocolate...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/29/05 at 8:16 am


I've offered my services at what I think is a very reasonable rate...I'll pay them 10,000 dollars.


LOL!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/29/05 at 8:59 am


I'm hoping it's more like the novel than the Gene Wilder film.  Much as I appreciated the film when I was about 8, I think the darker, far more sadistic tone of the novel will be more enjoyable these days.

Given that it's Depp & Burton, I'm thinking it is gonna be the darker version... they just do dark too well together for it to be anything else :)


Having seen the trailer, it really looks to me as if Mr. Depp is half-assing it throughout the film. Maybe it's just the style of the film, but it looked as if Johnny Boy felt he had somewhere better to be (a good old-fashioned lick-down, maybe?)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/29/05 at 9:19 am


Having seen the trailer, it really looks to me as if Mr. Depp is half-assing it throughout the film. Maybe it's just the style of the film, but it looked as if Johnny Boy felt he had somewhere better to be (a good old-fashioned lick-down, maybe?)


I've also seen the trailer, and I didn't get that impression at all.  I don't actually think that Johnny has the slightest notion of what "half assing" is...as far as his acting goes, anyway.

I also don't think that Tim Burton would allow for anything other than perfection.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/29/05 at 9:26 am

My radio just finished playing The Grass Roots' "Let's Live for Today."

TSF walked in right in the middle of the song, took time to smack me over the head with the mail in his hand, and then promptly started dancing.  Danced for a while.  I really tried not to look.

When the song was wrapping up, he looked at me and said, "Isn't this the Beatles?"

"No."

"Those 'sha la las' really sound like them."

"Nope."

"Oh well, have a good day." 

I wanted to cry.  Idiot.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 03/29/05 at 9:57 am


TSF walked in right in the middle of the song, took time to smack me over the head with the mail in his hand, and then promptly started dancing.  Danced for a while.  I really tried not to look.


How come no one's put this guy out of your misery yet?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 03/29/05 at 10:03 am

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Yada Yada Yada Yada..

Article. VI.

Clause XVII.

And all Ye who art considered Ignorant and an annoyance to others shalt be driven from the land with the aid of sharp implements and fire.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/29/05 at 6:03 pm

Said ignoramus shall also pay a fine of 10,000 doubloons for the defendant to have paid vacation in ye olde Chocolate Factory, followed by a relaxing lick-down session.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/29/05 at 7:25 pm


My radio just finished playing The Grass Roots' "Let's Live for Today."



Is that a new pop song, or is that an oldie?  I don't know if I've heard of the 'Grass Roots'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/29/05 at 10:21 pm

I've heard of, I just haven't heard.
S'good?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/29/05 at 10:24 pm


Is that a new pop song, or is that an oldie?  I don't know if I've heard of the 'Grass Roots'.


Ditto. So is this what you kids are listening to these days? Young whippersnappers.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/29/05 at 11:43 pm


I don't actually think that Johnny has the slightest notion of what "half assing" is...as far as his acting goes, anyway.




I have a notion that I would be perfectly content with half of his ass.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/29/05 at 11:58 pm


I have a notion that I would be perfectly content with half of his a**.


LOL!!!


Is that a new pop song, or is that an oldie? I don't know if I've heard of the 'Grass Roots'.


I listen to strictly oldies at work.

You might not know the group...but I bet you'd know the song if you heard it. 

"Let's Live For Today" by the Grass Roots...circa 1967...

First verse and chorus:

When I think of all the worries people seem to find
And how they're in a hurry to complicate their mind
By chasing after money and dreams that can't come true
I'm glad that we are different, we've better things to do
May others plan their future, I'm busy lovin' you

(1-2-3-4)

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Live for today

********

The only other song by the Grass Roots that I know is "Where Were You When I Needed You,"

Where were you when I needed you?
Where were you when I wanted you?
Where were you when I needed you?
Where..ere...ere



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/30/05 at 12:58 am


The only other song by the Grass Roots that I know is "Where Were You When I Needed You,"

Where were you when I needed you?
Where were you when I wanted you?
Where were you when I needed you?


They were also the original performers of 'I Wrote A Song That'll Get On Your Nerves.'

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/30/05 at 1:02 am

We can't save documents on these nazified uni computers, so I'll have to whack this here to work on tomorrow.
To the tune of Nas' 'I Can', my equal-6th favourite rap song.

My broke fry pan.
(Quite gross, my man.)
It's got a lotta grease.
(Which bubbles grottily.)
As I cook lard, it spits.
(Yeah my wok's rather s***.)
Food prepared quite scungily.
(But who cares, I'm hungry!)

...re...re-heat the oil. Sizzle, pop!
I make can make anyone wanna hurl and cough their guts.
Baked artichoke, pumpkin, flavoured with saffron.
The oven is steaming and caked in blackness.
Yikes! I'll get some water to extinguish the fire.
Meals are very pitful. Evening nibbles are dire.
Stinging tongues, straining lungs, cuts and hunger lesions,
Munching is un-pleasin'. Can't do lunch Indonesian.

OK. Kitchen just stocked barley and cloves.
Gotta try again, I'll cook duck on the stove.
Open the fowl, give the recess a tug, maple-glaze the breast.
Turn my back... an explosion of flesh.
What keeps happening to soups, steaks and sour wings?
Cuz I'll flame grill a rump and the plate will singe.
I just wanna serve a guest like a pro knows how. 
But this pan is a terror when baking now.

My broke fry pan.
(Quite gross, my man.)
It's got a lotta grease.
(Which bubbles grottily.)
As I cook lard, it spits.
(Yeah my wok's rather s***.)
Food prepared quite scungily.
(But who cares, I'm hungry!)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/30/05 at 11:19 am



"Let's Live For Today" by the Grass Roots...circa 1967...

First verse and chorus:



The more I think about the name 'The Grass Roots', the more I think I must have heard of them, or of something they've done.  The lyrics don't ring a bell offhand, but I'll have to check my oldies compilations when I get home.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/30/05 at 11:37 am


The more I think about the name 'The Grass Roots', the more I think I must have heard of them, or of something they've done.  The lyrics don't ring a bell offhand, but I'll have to check my oldies compilations when I get home.


Do you want me to call you up and sing it to you?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/30/05 at 5:39 pm


Do you want me to call you up and sing it to you?


Isn't sitting atop Leo and forcing him to listen to Harry Potter readings torture enough?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/30/05 at 8:04 pm


Do you want me to call you up and sing it to you?


That would help.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/30/05 at 8:31 pm

Would this classify as an 'Arwen Moment'?

I was sitting in the passenger seat of my guyfriend's Camry today after some delicious Chinese cuisine. We were stopped, about to turn left, when an idiot coming from the right ran a red and rammed into an oncoming car.  The force made the oncoming car AND the one at fault both crash into the front end of ours, jolting us up and over the curb all the way into the next lane.  The seat belt cut into my chest and the impact twisted my back in a way that it shouldn't have, while my friend's upper body was thrown up against the steering wheel - there's a chance he might've broken a rib.

(Here's the good part.)

After recovering from the shock, making sure the driver was okay, and getting the red-lighter-runner-er to an ambulance, there was nothing for me to do but STAND OUTSIDE A TOTALED CAR WITH A KILLING BACK, A V-NECK, SHEER BLOUSE AND NO JACKET IN THE FREEZING RAIN FOR 2 HOURS.  That was probably worse than the actual accident.  Prolonged pain, with dripping hair and running mascara - magnificent. 

And, of course, I left my special pen in the car when it was towed away.  :(

The scary part is, if I hadn't distracted the driver momentarily by waving the special pen, he would have turned on the green immediately, colliding head-on with the red-lighter-runner-er.  Which means things could have been a lot worse.

Anyway, I'm having severe back pain and I'm on about 3 different pain medications, along with one that makes your muscles go loopy-doo.  And GO FRIGGIN' FIGURE, I'm going to NYC tomorrow.  Oh well.  It'll be something to tell Turquamarine and '&'. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/30/05 at 8:35 pm


Very perceptive. Yale is inddeed my first choice. However, I'd be happy at any of those places. Swarthmore, in particular, seems like a little peice of heaven in Pennslyvania. Plus, it's even harder to get into than Yale (9% acceptance vs. Yale's 14% or so).


Well, to change the subject back to me (which is best for everybody, I think) I just got into Swarthmore today. I'm absolutely ecstatic! On top of that, my broken iPod suddenly decided to start working again today. Happy me! That, combined with the fact that I might meet Emi this weekend, makes sure that everything's coming up Charlie! I'm tired from doing that patented "Charlie Decker Happy Dance (TM)" all day long.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/30/05 at 8:38 pm


Well, to change the subject back to me (which is best for everybody, I think) I just got into Swarthmore today. I'm absolutely ecstatic! On top of that, my broken iPod suddenly decided to start working again today. Happy me! That, combined with the fact that I might meet Emi this weekend, makes sure that everything's coming up Charlie! I'm tired from doing that patented "Charlie Decker Happy Dance (TM)" all day long.


Hooray!  It's a shame that when you get to see me in my radiant glory, I'll probably be limping around like a giraffe with osteoporosis.  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/30/05 at 8:46 pm

Don't worry...Charlie will make it all better  8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 03/30/05 at 9:13 pm


Hooray!  It's a shame that when you get to see me in my radiant glory, I'll probably be limping around like a giraffe with osteoporosis.   ::)


I don't see any signs of osteoporosis ...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/30/05 at 9:46 pm

You're right...all I see is a wicked cool iconesque of Saint Emi.  ;D

YOU, on the other hand...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 03/30/05 at 10:45 pm


You're right...all I see is a wicked cool iconesque of Saint Emi.  ;D

YOU, on the other hand...




YIKES ... To quote Groucho Marx in "A Night At The Opera", "That's as grisly a lookin' object as I've ever seen."

Especially when compared to the following vision of osteosilliness ...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/31/05 at 12:16 am


Would this classify as an 'Arwen Moment'?



FABulous story.  SOOO glad you're not critically hurt...and I'll admit that I'm a little jealous that I don't have it to tell for myself...

HOWEVER...

For it to classify as an Arwen Moment...I think it really should have been your fault.  And maybe more bleeding.  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/31/05 at 1:17 am


FABulous story. SOOO glad you're not critically hurt...and I'll admit that I'm a little jealous that I don't have it to tell for myself...

HOWEVER...

For it to classify as an Arwen Moment...I think it really should have been your fault. And maybe more bleeding. ;)


I agree, and your lucky pen would have had to been lodged into a rather uncomfortable orifice.

Poor Emi, I'll kiss your booboos better vicariously through Charlie. :-*
*chirping gazelles, as giraffes visit chiropractor*

You could inspire a parody of Busta Rhymes' 'Break Ya Neck'. Or better still:
to the tune of Bobby Darin's 'Splish Splash':
"Whip-lash, neck is breakin' in half.
Lungs and ribs, they shattered inside.
Got buggered-up guts. Thorax requirin' drugs.   
Crinkling from some kinks down my right."


I went to the Iraq vs Australia soccer match on the Easter break and whilst driving back at about 10:30 at night, managed to perform a dramatic Hollywood-esque 70 km/h veer to the opposite side of the road as a van reversed out at a right angle, blocking the whole left side. (We wacky Aussies prefer the left, but you Americans are alright.)  ;D
May I say that pi itself would have been proud of the flawless arc I carved, without even using the brake, though oncoming traffic may have a different opinion. Dad was asleep so didn't notice.

Anyhoo, hope you get better, dearest Emily.
If in doubt, take more drugs.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/31/05 at 9:52 am



Poor Emi, I'll kiss your booboos better vicariously through Charlie. :-*


And Charlie sits back and grins in his usual, self-assured manner. Seems to me like the score here is Charlie - 1, the internet - 0.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/31/05 at 9:56 am

Do you two need to start a separate 'EmiLoveslave' thread, gentlemen?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/31/05 at 10:18 am



Poor Emi, I'll kiss your booboos better vicariously through Charlie. :-*


Ooops.  I misread this as boobies!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/31/05 at 10:21 am


Do you two need to start a separate 'EmiLoveslave' thread, gentlemen?


No, because I'm already um...let's see here...CharLeader of the pack? No, that's no good. Hrmm...I don't know, maybe...no. Can I call you right back about this one?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/31/05 at 10:24 am


And Charlie sits back and grins in his usual, self-assured manner. Seems to me like the score here is Charlie - 1, the internet - 0.


Ha ha ha...I may not have been accepted to Yale, but even I know that there's no such thing as a negative zero!!  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/31/05 at 10:30 am


Ha ha ha...I may not have been accepted to Yale, but even I know that there's no such thing as a negative zero!!  ;)


Yet, my dear. There's no such thing as negative zero yet...

Plus, I'm not into Yale yet. I find out at 5:00 PM today. Wish me luck!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 03/31/05 at 12:30 pm


Ha ha ha...I may not have been accepted to Yale, but even I know that there's no such thing as a negative zero!!  ;)


I don't know about that. When I ask prospective employers what they think I'm worth, and they answer "zero", I find that pretty negative...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/31/05 at 12:50 pm


I don't know about that. When I ask prospective employers what they think I'm worth, and they answer "zero", I find that pretty negative...


LOL!!  You reminded me of Jeff with that one, Rex...which is one of the highest compliments I can give.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 03/31/05 at 1:14 pm


LOL!!  You reminded me of Jeff with that one, Rex...which is one of the highest compliments I can give.


Second only to "that was Leoriffic... Leolicious... Leolarious!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/31/05 at 2:35 pm


Second only to "that was Leoriffic... Leolicious... Leolarious!"


LOLeo!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/31/05 at 6:18 pm

Guess who just got into a shouting match with Tech Support Fred...

(hint:  it wasn't Apricot)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 03/31/05 at 6:29 pm


Ha ha ha...I may not have been accepted to Yale, but even I know that there's no such thing as a negative zero!!  ;)


Hmm... before two's complement was invented, there were two ways of expressing 0 in binary, one using a leading 0 (positive), and the other using a leading 1 (negative).  Then someone realised that was clearly a load of bull, and invented two's complement to fix it :)

Then some other clever sod went and figured out 3 different cube roots of -1, and completely screwed up conventional mathematics...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 03/31/05 at 6:30 pm


Guess who just got into a shouting match with Tech Support Fred...

(hint:  it wasn't Apricot)


I take it you won.  Or at the very least, made him look very, very stupid :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 03/31/05 at 7:25 pm


I take it you won.  Or at the very least, made him look very, very stupid :)


Of course I won.  But he doesn't need me...he can make himself look stupid.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/31/05 at 8:15 pm

"Hey Charlie D, weer you gon' go do yor educationals at?"
"Yale."
"HEY CHARLIE D, WEER YOU GON' GO DO YOR EDUCATIONALS AT?!!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/31/05 at 10:34 pm


"Hey Charlie D, weer you gon' go do yor educationals at?"
"Yale."
"HEY CHARLIE D, WEER YOU GON' GO DO YOR EDUCATIONALS AT?!!"


Sadly, it looks like this conversation will never take place anywhere other than Luke's mind. I was wait-listed at Yale today. That means that I could still be admitted in May, but I don't think I'm going to wait around for them. I love Swarthmore, and I got accepted to UPenn today (so I guess at least one Ivy School will take a crazy parody guy like me). So it appears very likely that, come next September, my parodies will be coming in from the wilds of Pennsylvania, rather than New York City (or, as the locals like to call it, "Charlie Decker-town").

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/31/05 at 11:15 pm

I only made it into the 'Eucalypt League'. What course will you be doing in Pennsylvania?
Advanced Incisor Maintenance?
Plasma Analysis 101?

Or you try and find a college at one of the following places:
*Charlie Town, Bong County(I'm not making this up!), Liberia.
*Deckertown, Sussex, NJ.
*CharlieDeckertown, Rotting Dungmound, Hell.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 03/31/05 at 11:34 pm


I only made it into the 'Eucalypt League'. What course will you be doing in Pennsylvania?
Advanced Incisor Maintenance?
Plasma Analysis 101?

Or you try and find a college at one of the following places:
*Charlie Town, Bong County(I'm not making this up!), Liberia.
*Deckertown, Sussex, NJ.
*CharlieDeckertown, Rotting Dungmound, Hell.


I haven't been to the last place, but I hear it's lovely this time of year. Its in the inner circle, I hear, right next to Sisyphus rolling his boulder up the hill, and the "Hitting On EmiLoca" comments page.

As for what I'll be studying, I'm probably going to major in politcal theory, so I can make my chilling vision of things to come stern warning of things to come happy, lighthearted predictions (that are in here somewhere: http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,8738.15.html) a reality.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/01/05 at 12:01 am

Can I be underlord of the smithereens?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 04/01/05 at 12:33 am


Can I be underlord of the smithereens?


Is the Pope Catholic?

(Whoops. Bad timing  :-\\)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/01/05 at 12:54 am


Is the Pope Catholic?

(Whoops. Bad timing :-\\)


IIIII'll say. Only an idiot would make that sort of comment at 12:33:24AM.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/02/05 at 3:22 pm




Anyway, I'm having severe back pain and I'm on about 3 different pain medications, along with one that makes your muscles go loopy-doo.  And GO FRIGGIN' FIGURE, I'm going to NYC tomorrow.  Oh well.  It'll be something to tell Turquamarine and '&'. 


Sorry I'm late!  Good hell Emi!  Hope you're feeling better now...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/03/05 at 1:32 am

LOGGED IN FOR FIVE DAYS EXACTLY!
TOOW!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/03/05 at 3:04 am


Sorry I'm late!  Good hell Emi!  Hope you're feeling better now...



I love it when you show up!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/04/05 at 2:56 am

I completely forgot about my Raven parody. And for some odd reason I find myself havingto do this strange activity known as 'studying' because startng an essay 5 hours before it's due doesn't cut it with markers when you have toactually show that you are a being uncapable of thinking. One must source everything in one's work to someone else in order to get marks.


Green is all new material:

Tonsure of the crinite hairy. Why'd I let girls tweak and shear me?
Gonad depilation, furious polling. Crotch: a cutback knoll.
Well, my follicles a-flaxen got anti-hair dames a-waxin'
Having such fun, madly hackin' at my shaggy, lank-tressed pall.
"We need some secateurs," they uttered, wacky and cantankerous souls.
"Hoary whiskers- cut them all!"

Ah, their pinking shears dismembered the fuzz from my meek pudenda,
Soon electrolysing dreadlocks off my scrotum, burning holes.
Evilly they snipped and burrowed, plainly tried to cut a furrow.
Golden locks soon ceased to swallow up the contents of my smalls.
Now a bare and glabrous wastelands, pubic tangles took a fall.
Maimed, these hairless genitals.

O, my wilted nads were hurtin', bristles had been stropped and murdered.
Spill my villi? Such a spastic error, cleverness on hold.
I'd yell "Ow!" and feel the bleeding from my cuts, hairline receding.
Snipping scissors, torrid cleaving women scratched out chancrous sores.
Steel-blade garden shears were neat implements for the dangerous cause.
Grizzly bits soon stuffed with gauze.

Tresses freed, a full-mown jungle. Un-lanate gonads look mongol.
Hirsute piles, once had 'em. Curly, ulotrichous, rife in rolls.
But a pack of psycho madams must have mentally craved slashin'
Off my manly, comate package. Satchel now a shaven holt.
And my a** was shorn, coiffure 'do now a cloven shire a-polled.
Marvelous hair, those duffers stole.


Reaped my oats! A lark, this shearing. Mongrel wool required a clearing.
Shouts and screaming seemed so gutteral as 'down there' was tweezered. COR!
Oh, the violence on my scrotum from their silly shaving program,
Left a xanthocroidal totem pole of whiskerless appall.
Dearly missed, my fluffy wall.

Hacked into a chancrous burning, balls had moulted. Skin was yearning,
For that slender hair a-flazen with the cowlick and Mohawk.
'Sorely,' said I. 'Whorish sadist women cut my bristled mattress.
Left it feelin' like a cactus! Bandaged blistering sack, raw.
Vitals marred, papillae swollen from the scissors and hacksaw.
Stitchin' in some tough sutures.

Mopin' here, I flung those nutters outside into the dirty gutter.
And then swept up all the shaven hairs who'd lately graced the floor.
Alopecia grievance sating. Sobs and whimpers, drops cascading.
Got a groin folorn and jaded, itching from a chancrous sore.
Scratching at my crotch and phallus. Cropped by nutters, razors drawn.
Botched, I spat and cussed some more.

Man-itch agony burned my vitals. Did bad dancing (like an Idol).
At my shaven shorn spot, pawing, covered in ointments of old.
Oh, my quest for lotions lathered now to help procure hairs severed,
Hardly dimmed it, pain endeavoured. Smouldering undies tightly pulled.
Growled from Their ungodly, heinous show of smiting grown men's balls.
Smote my haven: nethers mauled.

Crotch now stubbled like some grainy jowls from their scissors, those ladies.
Pulled my pants up, bristles paining. Grizzled genitals now bald.
No more lanate pelt a-growing and no glistening pube hair flowing,
Severed locks and tresses coating, like a rug, the basement floor.
'Well, atleast you got a carpet!' 'Just a drugget laid on boards.
With crotch maimed, this zephyr's cold!'


to be continued again...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/05/05 at 9:43 pm


I completely forgot about my Raven parody. And for some odd reason I find myself havingto do this strange activity known as 'studying' because startng an essay 5 hours before it's due doesn't cut it with markers when you have toactually show that you are a being uncapable of thinking. One must source everything in one's work to someone else in order to get marks.


Green is all new material:

Tonsure of the crinite hairy. Why'd I let girls tweak and shear me?
Gonad depilation, furious polling. Crotch: a cutback knoll.
Well, my follicles a-flaxen got anti-hair dames a-waxin'
Having such fun, madly hackin' at my shaggy, lank-tressed pall.
"We need some secateurs," they uttered, wacky and cantankerous souls.
"Hoary whiskers- cut them all!"

Ah, their pinking shears dismembered the fuzz from my meek pudenda,
Soon electrolysing dreadlocks off my scrotum, burning holes.
Evilly they snipped and burrowed, plainly tried to cut a furrow.
Golden locks soon ceased to swallow up the contents of my smalls.
Now a bare and glabrous wastelands, pubic tangles took a fall.
Maimed, these hairless genitals.

O, my wilted nads were hurtin', bristles had been stropped and murdered.
Spill my villi? Such a spastic error, cleverness on hold.
I'd yell "Ow!" and feel the bleeding from my cuts, hairline receding.
Snipping scissors, torrid cleaving women scratched out chancrous sores.
Steel-blade garden shears were neat implements for the dangerous cause.
Grizzly bits soon stuffed with gauze.

Tresses freed, a full-mown jungle. Un-lanate gonads look mongol.
Hirsute piles, once had 'em. Curly, ulotrichous, rife in rolls.
But a pack of psycho madams must have mentally craved slashin'
Off my manly, comate package. Satchel now a shaven holt.
And my a** was shorn, coiffure 'do now a cloven shire a-polled.
Marvelous hair, those duffers stole.


Reaped my oats! A lark, this shearing. Mongrel wool required a clearing.
Shouts and screaming seemed so gutteral as 'down there' was tweezered. COR!
Oh, the violence on my scrotum from their silly shaving program,
Left a xanthocroidal totem pole of whiskerless appall.
Dearly missed, my fluffy wall.

Hacked into a chancrous burning, balls had moulted. Skin was yearning,
For that slender hair a-flazen with the cowlick and Mohawk.
'Sorely,' said I. 'Whorish sadist women cut my bristled mattress.
Left it feelin' like a cactus! Bandaged blistering sack, raw.
Vitals marred, papillae swollen from the scissors and hacksaw.
Stitchin' in some tough sutures.

Mopin' here, I flung those nutters outside into the dirty gutter.
And then swept up all the shaven hairs who'd lately graced the floor.
Alopecia grievance sating. Sobs and whimpers, drops cascading.
Got a groin folorn and jaded, itching from a chancrous sore.
Scratching at my crotch and phallus. Cropped by nutters, razors drawn.
Botched, I spat and cussed some more.

Man-itch agony burned my vitals. Did bad dancing (like an Idol).
At my shaven shorn spot, pawing, covered in ointments of old.
Oh, my quest for lotions lathered now to help procure hairs severed,
Hardly dimmed it, pain endeavoured. Smouldering undies tightly pulled.
Growled from Their ungodly, heinous show of smiting grown men's balls.
Smote my haven: nethers mauled.

Crotch now stubbled like some grainy jowls from their scissors, those ladies.
Pulled my pants up, bristles paining. Grizzled genitals now bald.
No more lanate pelt a-growing and no glistening pube hair flowing,
Severed locks and tresses coating, like a rug, the basement floor.
'Well, atleast you got a carpet!' 'Just a drugget laid on boards.
With crotch maimed, this zephyr's cold!'


to be continued again...




Anyway...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/05/05 at 10:14 pm

Sit down, Luke.  Now. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/05/05 at 11:15 pm




Sit down, Luke.  Now. 




Emi, I don't think Luke can sit down while that man-itch thing is happening.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/05/05 at 11:37 pm



Anyway...


Hee!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/06/05 at 1:16 am

Quick, spill your drink in my lap! The icy coolness of your cola slushy will ease the pain.

*eyes detach from sockets*

...right, you drink coffee.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/06/05 at 7:43 pm

Arwen, have you heard about the xXx sequel?  Vin is being replaced by... Ice Cube!
Next thing you know, they'll have Orlando in the next one.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/06/05 at 11:21 pm

Then Amanda Vanstone, for xXL.

http://writeonline.sac.sa.edu.au/Archives/May_2004/images/vanstone.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/07/05 at 12:01 am

Yeah, I knew about it...

I'd actually heard...a LONG time ago that Ice Cube had agreed to do the sequel when Vin said no...but then  hadn't heard anything about it since...until I saw the preview the other night.

I know at one point they had thought about making it into a series...or at least a trilogy...with previous xXxes joining forces with new xXxes in different films...

But...that, I'm sure, will depend on the success (or lack, thereof) of this one, huh?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/07/05 at 12:37 am

We Aussies prefer Ice Cubes in our XXXX's.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/07/05 at 9:01 am


We Aussies prefer Ice Cubes in our XXXX's.



Wusses.  New Zealanders don't use no stinkin' ice cubes.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/07/05 at 6:39 pm

You're right, they're too busy sensually sliding them down the legs of sheep.

(Is that a Booyah I hear?)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/07/05 at 7:38 pm


You're right, they're too busy sensually sliding them down the legs of sheep.

(Is that a Booyah I hear?)
'

That would be a 'Boo', as used in the Tasmanian phrase 'Boo, you suck!' 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/08/05 at 12:56 am

Hey, Tasmanians wouldn't be that mean to poor lil' Leo. :-40 minutes early. Unfortunately this means that I haven't had my scheduled hit of frenzied adrenalin followed by endorphinal release. (You heard me, 'endorphinal release'.)  To compensate, I am giving Leo permission to amputate increasingly larger appendages from my body each hour that passes and I haven't figured out this perplexing conundrum.

So, I guess you start with the smallest appendage.
*proffers pinkie*
*receives sardonic frown*
Oh, alright...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/08/05 at 11:28 pm

I remember when I was about 10 I first saw the 'roller-shoe'. I was like "Yes, they finally understand! I can walk to school across the grassy park, and still be able to roll down the sidewalk! This invention will catch on like wildfire!"
It didn't. But NOW there's an epidemic pandemic of tweens with roller-shoes in shopping centres, gliding along gracefully in the orthodox left toes down/right toes up posture.

I'm envious.  >:(  Next thing I know, the shoe companies will steal my 10-year-old's idea of shoes that have mousepad-esque rolling functions on the bottom, so you can turn around and stuff whilst still heading the one direction.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/10/05 at 6:17 am

Oh fine, I'll just sit here and have 12-hour-interval conversations with myself.

Whilst painting my nonna's kitchen, we got to the edge area where we've had the annual ritual of recording the heights of kiddies. There's me, my brother, cousins and step-siblings messily scrawled up there from as early as 1992.
There was much debate over whether it should be painted over. I think the council approved it as a historic monument and now there's a bare patch in the kitchen with scribbly measurements all over it.
*nostalgic sigh*

Each year in the holidays I'd make sure my height was recorded ONE DAY before my birthday, so I could claim I was so high at such an age, sort of cheating the system. I've managed to make out some of the measurements from years past, there are about forty just bunched in the middle that are utterly inelligibe.

Aged 0 years 1 day: 57cm (not actually on the wall)
Aged 4 years 364 days: 118cm
Aged 8 years 364 days: 144cm
Aged 9 years 364 days: 150cm
Aged 13 years 364 days: 181cm
*Increasingly closer-together lines*
Aged 16 years 364 days: 188cm

Or in a lousy sidewards graph:

|||||||||||


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Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/10/05 at 9:19 pm

Been 12 hours yet?
Okay.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/10/05 at 9:32 pm


Been 12 hours yet?
Okay.


Here's the only thing on Earth that even comes close to the size of my attributes.  ;)  ;)  ;)  ;)  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/10/05 at 10:29 pm


Here's the only thing on Earth that even comes close to the size of my attributes.  ;)  ;)  ;)  ;)  ;D


Q. What was the tallest mountain in the world before Mount Everest was discovered?
A. Well, obviously this just goes back to that whole 'tree falling in the woods' concept. How are we sure that we haven't discovered the tallest mountain in the world yet?
AA. Because the sophistication of technological advances are able to provide us with such information, idiot.
A. Hey, don't call me idiot!
AA. Well you are, IDIOT.
Q. Break it up, guys! It's only a mountain fer cryin' out loud!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/11/05 at 3:13 pm

No need to make a mountain out of a...mountain?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/11/05 at 3:15 pm


No need to make a mountain out of a...mountain?


You got THAT right, Kemo-Sabe.  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/11/05 at 5:15 pm


No need to make a mountain out of a...mountain?


Um... shouldn't you be busy changing nappies... or catching up on the sleep you missed last night... or wiping drool off your shoulder or something?  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: agrimorfee on 04/11/05 at 5:21 pm


I completely forgot about my Raven parody. ...and etc....


You amaze me. Do you read James Joyce or Lewis Carroll, Luke? You have such a godamn great sense of sophisticated wordplay, just as they did!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 04/11/05 at 9:13 pm

If y'all want to see Luke at his finest, you need to check out
The Girl Is Mine. It's like I told him when we were writing it, sometimes it only takes the presence of greatness to unlock somebody's true potential, and I feel Luke's potential is unlocked here  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/11/05 at 9:19 pm


You amaze me. Do you read James Joyce or Lewis Carroll, Luke? You have such a godamn great sense of sophisticated wordplay, just as they did!


No, I read MAD magazine.
The great sense of sophisticated wordplay is obviously from hanging out with you guys all the time.

*universal cutesy 'AWWWWW'*

By the way, thanks for reminding me of the poem again. I've been busy avoiding essay writing with
"Will you svelte thin ladies expand out? Expand out, Expand out?"
and
"Such nuisance. Ha ha ha ha ha. Bemusement. Ha ha ha ha ha..."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/13/05 at 4:10 am

Ring 2... hmmm, where to begin.
The significance of the boy always saying 'Rachel' was nauseatingly unsubtle at the start of the film.
The deer scene is ripe for parody. Scary Movie 4, anyone?
The girl's crawling was just a dodgy Gollum with arthritis. *yawn* A horrendous storyline that fails to bring about any real closure; I mean, the ending just leaves poor Samara trapped where she began. She's the friggin' victim here and the resolution is just to leave her unloved ass to rot, which was the catalyst of injustice in the first place!
Brattonionio Rating: 5/10

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/14/05 at 9:56 pm

DANG what happened to the tiny 20x20m McDonalds at the mall? I was there two weeks back and it was you regular run-of-the-mill mall McDonalds crammed in between KFC and *unprounceable Indian restaurant*

I went there today and they had NINETEEN people behind the counter(yes, I counted) a mass of swarming bodies that performed a seamless ballet of ducking and weaving amongst one another.
Not only that, but McDonalds now has a waitress walks along while you wait in line and take your order. She then gives you a receipt for you to hand in when you get to the counter, where you will then pay for it. Is it just me or is this POINTLESS?!!
What's the friggin' difference between asking for a Big Mac compared to handing a little ticket over that says 'Big Mac' on it?
I'll tell you- about ten seconds as the person behind the counter squints to make out your order as well as THE FRIGGIN RAINFOREST COMING DOWN.

PS. My left eye is all swollen up at the moment from an insect bite so I'm in grumpy mood.
Visual representation of my bulging eye:  :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/14/05 at 10:48 pm


DANG what happened to the tiny 20x20m McDonalds at the mall? I was there two weeks back and it was you regular run-of-the-mill mall McDonalds crammed in between KFC and *unprounceable Indian restaurant*

I went there today and they had NINETEEN people behind the counter(yes, I counted) a mass of swarming bodies that performed a seamless ballet of ducking and weaving amongst one another.
Not only that, but McDonalds now has a waitress walks along while you wait in line and take your order. She then gives you a receipt for you to hand in when you get to the counter, where you will then pay for it. Is it just me or is this POINTLESS?!!
What's the friggin' difference between asking for a Big Mac compared to handing a little ticket over that says 'Big Mac' on it?
I'll tell you- about ten seconds as the person behind the counter squints to make out your order as well as THE FRIGGIN RAINFOREST COMING DOWN.

PS. My left eye is all swollen up at the moment from an insect bite so I'm in grumpy mood.
Visual representation of my bulging eye:  :o


Visual representation of the insect that successfully caused you such a grumpy mood:  ;D

Wow, I've never seen a McDonalds run like that.  It almost reminds me of communistic efficiency...ooh, Brattoni, better move to the states before it's the End of Ze Verld (Although I fail to understand how having the most nukes in the world makes us the safest nation on the planet). 

Is it Rangappa's, by chance?  That's the only Indian restaurant I know of, with the exception of Austin's Steakhouse, who includes "Injun Bread" and "Sioux-Style Buffalo Wings" on their diverse menu of dead cattles. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/15/05 at 12:10 am

I COMPLETELY forgot about a Culture essay due today, so acted all depressed and folorn when approaching my tutor. The purple eyelid worked a charm and I don't think she'll mark me down when I hand it in next week, even though it's holidays now.

As for English? WELL! My tutor is a dinosaur who so doesn't like me. All of my other tutes find my input really helpful (I'm always scapegoated as spokesperson in group activities) but for her every one of my comments is followed by twenty seconds of silence, as if saying 'No. Sit down Luke, now.' ANYHOO, I wrote down the wrong tutor's name on my English exam which just pissed her off even worse, resulting in the lowest possible mark she could have awarded without me failing. Her marking makes no sense. She won't even dignify the 'Fail' box for three criteria, putting an asterisk beside them and saying 'you didn't create your own critical line of argument, it was all based on the work of others' and yet for 'evidence of research' I only get a credit tick. I had twelve sources for an 800-word essay!!!

Snatches nearby insect, rams it into other eye and furthers grumpy mood.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/16/05 at 1:14 am

http://www.rollershoes.ca/grfx/shoes/models/sf_8_big.jpg

The roller-shoe larvae have spawned.
These kids are always identical, like the Down Syndrome gene or something.
Always with the right toe pointing up, gliding along with the same air of utter coolness.
Right, where's my trippin' stick?


South Park quotes from "Red Man's Greed."

Chief: Welcome to the Three Feathers Casino. I'm your host, Chief Runs With Premise.

Chief: Halt! I am afraid minors cannot go onto the casino floor.
Cartman: I'm not a miner, dumbass! Do you see a shovel in my hand?!

Native American comic: Bear walked into a bar.
Bear said to Deer: "May I please... ... ...have a drink?"
Deer said to Bear: "Why the big paws?"
*drum fill* 
Native American audience: (as if chanting) Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha!
Native American comic: Many moons ago, Pony and Eagle walked up to Coyote.
Pony said to Coyote: "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?"
Coyote said to Pony: "Why can you not yell yourself?"
Pony replied: "Because I am a little hoarse."
*drum fill*
Native American audience: Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha! 

Chief: Look at them! Small-minded idiots pouring their life-savings away! 
Elder: Their cash flows out of them like diarrhoea from the buffalo. 

Elder: What do we do about the small town of South Park that lies in the highway's way? 
Chief: Simple. We buy it, then we demolish it!
Elders: Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha!

Randy: We'll just pool all our money together and buy the town back for ourselves! How much do we have to raise, Mayor? 
Mayor: Three hundred thousand dollars. 
*pained cringe from crowd*
Randy: Ohhh, never mind then. 

Randy: We've all tried to raise money, but we only raise ten thousand dollars. The deadline is tomorrow.
Kyle: The odds on a single number in roulette are thirty-five to one. That means, with a ten thousand dollar bet, you win three hundred and fifty thousand!
*soon...*
Randy: We're gonna try and beat you at your own game, Chief Runs With Premise! Ten thousand dollars on thirty one black!
*ball rolls and stops*
Chief: ...31... black?! 
*crowd cheers*
Mr. Mackey: We have plenty enough to save our town now! 
Gerald: Yeah! But wait. Three hundred and fifty thousand dollars. That means if we won again, it will be twelve and a quarter million!
Mr. Garrison: We can save the town and be super-rich! 
Randy: Oh hell yeah! Let it ride! 
Gerald: Let it ride!! 
*crowd cheers* 
Roulette Dealer: Two, red. 
Crowd: Awwww.




...what am I doing? Too many great quotes to put here. Watch the freakin episode yerself.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/17/05 at 10:27 pm

Funny, those awful skate-shoes are the epitome of GEEK over here.  Even the people who come to school dressed like Boba Fett are careful about wearing those in public.

On another, completely unrelated note...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/P1220038.jpg

My dog learned how to get his way with women.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/17/05 at 10:49 pm

Kyoooooooote! (dewy-eyed Aussie female lingo; roughly translated as 'cute'.)
I take it you're one a 'I scratch your ears, you scratch mine' arrangement?
*pinches nose to stems flow of puns*

Yay! Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy coming out soon. And it stars a familiar face from The Office!

Hey! Now what's that dog of yours gone and done to my avatar?
*patronising sigh to match decrescendo tone:*
Ruuu-ckerrr!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/18/05 at 10:44 am


Funny, those awful skate-shoes are the epitome of GEEK over here.  Even the people who come to school dressed like Boba Fett are careful about wearing those in public.

On another, completely unrelated note...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/P1220038.jpg

My dog learned how to get his way with women.


Boba Fett isn't cool?  What???

You have to admit, if you have a working jetpack, then dressing as Boba Fett is cool.

Cute dog  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/18/05 at 10:57 am




Yay! Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy coming out soon. And it stars a familiar face from The Office!




10 days and counting

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/18/05 at 11:02 am



You have to admit, if you have a working jetpack, then dressing as Boba Fett is cool.



He has a point...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/18/05 at 12:28 pm


He has a point...


Now why did you have to go and  make fun of my head?  <=P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 04/18/05 at 5:48 pm


10 days and counting


I have a friend who's dad is in the biz, and he got to go to te premiere. He called it, and I'm paraphrasing here, "the worst disaster in the history of the cinema." He said that the script seemed so chopped up that it just didn't make any sense. Most importantly, it was apparently not funny at all. BTW, has anyone else heard the rumor that Steven Speilberg was originally attached, but then said that he didn't want to go down in history as the one who messed up The Hitchhiker's Guide?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 04/18/05 at 6:01 pm


I have a friend who's dad is in the biz, and he got to go to te premiere. He called it, and I'm paraphrasing here, "the worst disaster in the history of the cinema." He said that the script seemed so chopped up that it just didn't make any sense. Most importantly, it was apparently not funny at all. BTW, has anyone else heard the rumor that Steven Speilberg was originally attached, but then said that he didn't want to go down in history as the one who messed up The Hitchhiker's Guide?


I have heard similar views.

One describing it as a total 'Clusterfuc.k'

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/18/05 at 6:30 pm

One of these little bastards latched onto my head yesterday in the woods near Walden Pond.  Found it today, pulled it off, and yup, it was the nasty little "deer tick".

My doctor gave me a scrip for doxycycline (one of the antibiotics used to treat anthrax!), so I'll be fine.  Only 3% of deer tick bytes result in lyme disease, anyway.  And a course of doxycycline reduces that further by another 90%.

Why am I telling you all this T.M.I. ? 

Well, I was thinking of " All in all it's just a...dumb deer tick on John Small " ... then again, maybe not ....  8)

But this really did happen.  Quite gross.  I do NOT recommend it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 04/18/05 at 8:16 pm



Well, I was thinking of " All in all it's just a...dumb deer tick on John Small "



we don't need that
.....in - formation....

but you need that
....pest control....



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/18/05 at 10:06 pm


One of these little bastards latched onto my head yesterday in the woods near Walden Pond.  Found it today, pulled it off, and yup, it was the nasty little "deer tick".


I remember the first time I pulled one of those out of my hair - we used to live in a house with a cornfield for a backyard, and one of those bastards got stuck so far into my head, I had to go to the doctor and get the other half unlatched from my brain, or whatever it was hanging on to.  :P  Bleugh.

*pointed look at Stu*

Of course we needed to know that information.  It's vital to the steadfast progress of oxymoronic thought. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/18/05 at 10:33 pm

You mean 'paradoxymoronic' information, don't you?

...oh wait a minute, you don't at all. What a stupid thing to say.

:-[
*nibbles celery ashamedly*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/19/05 at 3:47 am


I remember the first time I pulled one of those out of my hair - we used to live in a house with a cornfield for a backyard, and one of those bastards got stuck so far into my head, I had to go to the doctor and get the other half unlatched from my brain, or whatever it was hanging on to.   :P  Bleugh.
 


The trick to getting ticks of your skin is to put a small amount of either meths or vodka on it with a cotton bud and then twist it off with fine tweezers.  Or, I've heard, completely cover it with Vaseline or similar so it suffocates and falls off.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 04/19/05 at 6:29 am


One of these little bastards latched onto my head yesterday in the woods near Walden Pond.  Found it today, pulled it off, and yup, it was the nasty little "deer tick".

My doctor gave me a scrip for doxycycline (one of the antibiotics used to treat anthrax!), so I'll be fine.  Only 3% of deer tick bytes result in lyme disease, anyway.  And a course of doxycycline reduces that further by another 90%.

Why am I telling you all this T.M.I. ? 

Well, I was thinking of " All in all it's just a...dumb deer tick on John Small " ... then again, maybe not ....  8)

But this really did happen.  Quite gross.  I do NOT recommend it.




Suddenly very glad that I live in the city  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/19/05 at 8:19 am


One of these little bastards latched onto my head yesterday in the woods near Walden Pond.  Found it today, pulled it off, and yup, it was the nasty little "deer tick".

My doctor gave me a scrip for doxycycline (one of the antibiotics used to treat anthrax!), so I'll be fine.  Only 3% of deer tick bytes result in lyme disease, anyway.  And a course of doxycycline reduces that further by another 90%.

Why am I telling you all this T.M.I. ? 

Well, I was thinking of " All in all it's just a...dumb deer tick on John Small " ... then again, maybe not ....  8)

But this really did happen.  Quite gross.  I do NOT recommend it.




That sucks.

You must have been pretty ticked off.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/19/05 at 8:40 am



That sucks.

You must have been pretty ticked off.



Deer me, what bloody bad puns.

Hey, I thought of another related parody idea:  instead of "Time of the Season" by The Zombies, how about "Lyme of the Lesion" ?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/21/05 at 11:00 pm

Uhh.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/21/05 at 11:07 pm

Uhh.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/22/05 at 8:21 pm

Uhh.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 04/22/05 at 8:46 pm

OK, this conversation is getting WAY too intellectual.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/22/05 at 11:09 pm

Huh?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/22/05 at 11:34 pm

Huh?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/23/05 at 6:50 am

Maybe this will help.

2 + 2 = 5 6 3.141592654 4

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/23/05 at 11:19 am


Maybe this will help.

2 + 2 = 5 6 3.141592654 4


I think you need to double-check your calculations.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/23/05 at 12:01 pm



I think you need to double-check your calculations.



Extemporaneous expostulation on the epistemological underpinnings of the existentially sartorial mathematical confabulations of EmiLocantidisestablishmentarianism is inevitably devoid of substantive ontological foundation.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/23/05 at 12:04 pm


Extemporaneous expostulation on the epistemological underpinnings of the existentially sartorial mathematical confabulations of EmiLocantidisestablishmentarianism is inevitably devoid of substantive ontological foundation.


But she does sell seashells by the seashore.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/23/05 at 6:53 pm

I always wondered why they call it a Phillip's head screwdriver.
Then I met Phillip.
Man, that's one f***ed up head!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/23/05 at 9:28 pm

I always wondered why they call it a Ball Peen Hammer.
Then I met Penelope Peen...we had a Ball until she cried, "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 04/23/05 at 10:25 pm

Speaking of names...

I bought a Reese's candy bar this afternoon. If you look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his; it belongs to Reese. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/23/05 at 11:39 pm

After years of research, I still don't know Victoria's Secret.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/24/05 at 9:22 am


After years of research, I still don't know Victoria's Secret.


The secret is, she's a man.  Why else would she sell lingerie?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/25/05 at 8:53 am


I always wondered why they call it a Ball Peen Hammer.
Then I met Penelope Peen...we had a Ball until she cried, "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"


You are twisted.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 04/25/05 at 9:15 am


The secret is, she's a man.  Why else would she sell lingerie?


Actually, she's a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman. Just see the movie Victor/Victoria.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: MysteryGoat on 04/26/05 at 1:33 am


One of these little bastards latched onto my head yesterday in the woods near Walden Pond.  Found it today, pulled it off, and yup, it was the nasty little "deer tick".


That's what you get for being a redneck.  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 8:16 am


Speaking of names...

I bought a Reese's candy bar this afternoon. If you look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his; it belongs to Reese. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.


Speaking of candy bars...I had a Snickers bar the other day, and it got me to thinking....What's a Snicker? How do you Snick? Is there a Snicking Support Group somewhere? Is Snicking legal? How much does it cost and are you required to wear special clothing? Answers on the back of a postcard....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 8:32 am


Speaking of candy bars...I had a Snickers bar the other day, and it got me to thinking....What's a Snicker? How do you Snick? Is there a Snicking Support Group somewhere? Is Snicking legal? How much does it cost and are you required to wear special clothing? Answers on the back of a postcard....


Snick: noun meaning a small cut or notch, a knot in a thread, in Cricket a glancing blow of the edge of the bat.  Verb to cut a small corner or notch in some material.  (from the Old Norse Snikka meaning to whittle)

Snicker: noun, verb.  another word esp.in the US meaning to s******, verb meaning (of a horse) to whinny

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mr Tumnus on 04/26/05 at 8:33 am


Speaking of candy bars...I had a Snickers bar the other day, and it got me to thinking....What's a Snicker? How do you Snick? Is there a Snicking Support Group somewhere? Is Snicking legal? How much does it cost and are you required to wear special clothing? Answers on the back of a postcard....


HAHAHA 
Yeah isn't it the stupidest freakin' name, here in the UK, Snickers was originally a 'Marathon' bar, and in the 70's the TV advertising for it used to show a man running in a ......(wait for it) Marathon!!!  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 8:36 am

I believe that the Marathon was a US chocolate bar very similar to the UK Curly Wurly.  At least from the discussions on the 70s boards here.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/26/05 at 8:38 am


Speaking of candy bars...I had a Snickers bar the other day, and it got me to thinking....What's a Snicker? How do you Snick? Is there a Snicking Support Group somewhere? Is Snicking legal? How much does it cost and are you required to wear special clothing? Answers on the back of a postcard....


And why is it plural, Snickers, when it's just one bar?  It's not like Skittles, where there are actually many distinct individual Skittles in one package.


Yeah isn't it the stupidest freakin' name, here in the UK, Snickers was originally a 'Marathon' bar, and in the 70's the TV advertising for it used to show a man running in a ......(wait for it) Marathon!!!


Didn't we something called a 'Marathon' bar here in the US?  That name sounds familiar...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 8:45 am



Didn't we something called a 'Marathon' bar here in the US?  That name sounds familiar...



Sorry are my posts invisible to everyone but me?



I believe that the Marathon was a US chocolate bar very similar to the UK Curly Wurly.  At least from the discussions on the 70s boards here.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mr Tumnus on 04/26/05 at 9:06 am

Hi Karen  :)

Hmm dunno, Curly Wurlies were flattened strips of chocolate coated toffee here in the UK, but Marathon (now Snickers) are like a Mars Bar shape but with nougat and peanuts.  Goddddd I'm getting muddled now  :-[

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 9:15 am


Snick: noun meaning a small cut or notch, a knot in a thread, in Cricket a glancing blow of the edge of the bat.  Verb to cut a small corner or notch in some material.  (from the Old Norse Snikka meaning to whittle)

Snicker: noun, verb.  another word esp.in the US meaning to s******, verb meaning (of a horse) to whinny


* GLANCES AT FLOOR, EMBARRASSED*  Servesme right for shooting off my big mouth before looking at a dictionary. Thanks, Karen....*SHUFFLES AWAY DEJECTEDLY*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 9:18 am

Mr Tumnus

I'm from the UK too.  Therefore I am familiar with the change from Marathon to Snickers (still call them that on occasion).

A little while back (before you joined) there was a discussion about 70's sweets (in the 70's board) and someone described the Marathon bar (US version) which sounds very like the UK Curly Wurly.  chocolate covered toffee/caramel in a sort of braid pattern (plaited) was sort of the description they used

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 9:19 am


* GLANCES AT FLOOR, EMBARRASSED*  Servesme right for shooting off my big mouth before looking at a dictionary. Thanks, Karen....*SHUFFLES AWAY DEJECTEDLY*


Hey Kristof.  that definition was in the Collins English Dictionary which I happened to have on my desk.

modified to add: still have sorted out why its pluralised though.  maybe its to be eaten by people who put little notches in pieces of wood?  Or cricketers

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 9:22 am


Mr Tumnus

I'm from the UK too.  Therefore I am familiar with the change from Marathon to Snickers (still call them that on occasion).

A little while back (before you joined) there was a discussion about 70's sweets (in the 70's board) and someone described the Marathon bar (US version) which sounds very like the UK Curly Wurly.  chocolate covered toffee/caramel in a sort of braid pattern (plaited) was sort of the description they used


Then there's the Kristof Bar, due to be released on to the worldwide confectionary market soon...

A centre of brittle, undigestible bile (caramel flavoured) lovingly smothered with sickly-sweet narcissism. Made by Nestle.  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 9:24 am


Hey Kristof.  that definition was in the Collins English Dictionary which I happened to have on my desk.

modified to add: still have sorted out why its pluralised though.  maybe its to be eaten by people who put little notches in pieces of wood?  Or cricketers


I gotta get a dictionary for my desk rather than a stack of Playboys.  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/26/05 at 9:26 am

http://www.oldtimecandy.com/images/candypix-pages/curly-wurly_small.jpg

As I recall, the US Marathon looked more or less like this UK Curly Wurly.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/26/05 at 9:26 am


I gotta get a dictionary for my desk rather than a stack of Playboys.  :)


"...as well as..."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 9:33 am


"...as well as..."


Nah.....what with the comprehensive selection of sex toys, there isn't enough room.....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/26/05 at 9:42 am


Nah.....what with the comprehensive selection of sex toys, there isn't enough room.....


Well, you can always let the air out of the Inflate-A-Date -- that should save some space...  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 9:45 am


Well, you can always let the air out of the Inflate-A-Date -- that should save some space...  ;D


Not Natasha! She wouldn't understand, and I'd have to buy her some jewellery to make up....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: ... on 04/26/05 at 9:50 am


Not Natasha! She wouldn't understand, and I'd have to buy her some jewellery to make up....

Excuse me, but what is "jewellery"? ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 9:52 am


Excuse me, but what is "jewellery"? ::)


Jewelry as spelt by someone not from the US....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 10:01 am


Jewelry as spelt by someone not from the US....


I'm with you on this one Kristof.  Damn americans

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 10:16 am


I'm with you on this one Kristof.  darn americans


Yeah,Karen...Americans...sheesh...you'd think they invented the language, when we all know it was the Australians who did.. :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 04/26/05 at 10:23 am

Actually.. it was Hung Song Ick of Pawaachuck Township in Burkina Faso...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/26/05 at 10:26 am

sure it was  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/26/05 at 10:29 am


Actually.. it was Hung Song Ick of Pawaachuck Township in Burkina Faso...




I think your medication's overdue, Alcoholica.....oh no, I forgot...it's mine that is :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mr Tumnus on 04/26/05 at 4:20 pm


Mr Tumnus

I'm from the UK too.  Therefore I am familiar with the change from Marathon to Snickers (still call them that on occasion).

A little while back (before you joined) there was a discussion about 70's sweets (in the 70's board) and someone described the Marathon bar (US version) which sounds very like the UK Curly Wurly.  chocolate covered toffee/caramel in a sort of braid pattern (plaited) was sort of the description they used


Aha!!  Well I'm stunned to see they called Curly Wurlys,  Marathons??? I mean they're all curly wurly??? 

jules  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 04/26/05 at 6:18 pm


Aha!!  Well I'm stunned to see they called Curly Wurlys,  Marathons??? I mean they're all curly wurly??? 

jules  ;D



Apparently, what we know in the UK as Mars is called Milky Way in the US, according to the  Mars history, and the US product listings.  For those of you in the US, a Milky Way over here is a very different thing to a Mars bar  :)

To make things even more interesting (and potentially confusing for those of us outside the US), according to the Snickers website, last year they introduced 2 Snickers energy bars called Snickers Marathon.


And there was I, thinking that chocolate was the one international constant...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/26/05 at 7:13 pm


And there was I, thinking that chocolate was the one international constant...



Oh no...I'm pretty sure it's soda pop. 

http://www.kimmiecorp.com/beverly/beverlylabel.jpg

For instance, this Coke product, found in both Italy and ethnic food stores in Nebraska, has the same distinct flavor of public restroom soap no matter where you drink it. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/26/05 at 11:35 pm


For instance, this Coke product, found in both Italy and ethnic food stores in Nebraska, has the same distinct flavor of public restroom soap no matter where you drink it. 


That's funny, cuz if you translate the small subscript, it says 'Italian public restroom soap.'

Speaking of small subscript: whilst being shaken silly in a 4WD bus 200km from Alice Springs yesterday, I got an idea for a parody about paedophilia. (I smaeck down your spaelling, Spaeff!)
Unfortunately I haven't decided on a tune yet. I'll probably redo the following lame jokes to fit the pacing of Red Hot Chilli Pepper's, titled
'Kiddie Lovin' Fornication', or otherwise a dedication to Little Ms '2000 Olympics girl' Webster turning 18 titled 'Hey Nikki!'

Management does not endorse the following content:


Sizing up between your legs, your legs be tweenie sized.
I'd better rub some cream over your tender mozzie bites.
You're learning long division? Let me help you to divide.
Just pretend we're on Play School: 'open wide and come inside'.

Will you be my Barbie? Bought you fun accessories.
I'll dress you up real pretty, you can start undressing me.
Have you reached double-digits yet? (I'll double-digit you.)
You're just the perfect height, so say 'Ahh' like good midgets do.

I'll measure you in inches so you're well over eighteen.
Now here's a new doll for you, she just needs some inflating.
We won't need no protection, you aint yet menstruating.
Watch this film three times to be old enough for the rating.

A girl scout? Well, I'll show you a new way to get a-head.
And potty trained? I'll show you a new way to wet the bed.
You don't take candy from a stranger? Fine, can I have yours?
Just come sit on my lap, I've a North Pole like Santa Claus!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/27/05 at 1:18 am

Even without sound I found this ten times more hilarious than the advertisement for 'Mr Sparkle' on The Simpsons.
Emi, you up to creating Linkin Park-esque poetry using quotes from your fave shoyu product?

http://yoga.at.infoseek.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso_e.htm

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mr Tumnus on 04/27/05 at 2:43 am



Apparently, what we know in the UK as Mars is called Milky Way in the US, according to the  Mars history, and the US product listings.  For those of you in the US, a Milky Way over here is a very different thing to a Mars bar  :)

To make things even more interesting (and potentially confusing for those of us outside the US), according to the Snickers website, last year they introduced 2 Snickers energy bars called Snickers Marathon.


And there was I, thinking that chocolate was the one international constant...




HAHAHA  just to confuse us even more !!  :D 


Yeah Cadbury sell great stuff in the US you can't get back here  :(
...and have you noticed how chocolate is much cheaper in the US compared to here, we get ripped off right left and freakin' centre in this country. :(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/27/05 at 3:25 am

But I understand that much American chocolate is a pale imitation of the stuff here.  Perhaps Alchoholica can do a taste test here before he leaves and then in America.  I'm sure he'd be up for the challenge.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 04/27/05 at 3:29 am


But I understand that much American chocolate is a pale imitation of the stuff here.  Perhaps Alchoholica can do a taste test here before he leaves and then in America.  I'm sure he'd be up for the challenge.


I can tell you now.. most chocolate bars are similar here and in the states.. however here there are several standouts.. Yorkies, Double Deckers etc etc.

In the states there are two standouts. IMO... Hersheys with Almonds and Reece's Peanut Butter Cups. Now, not to take anything away from Butterfingers.. Captain whoojamaflips and a number of other fabulous chocolate bars, those two stand out to me. IMO the UK is just slightly better.. however as has been pointed out.. the fact that a snickers bar costs nearly $1 here whereas it costs about 50 cents in the states speaks for it'self.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/27/05 at 3:35 am


I can tell you now.. most chocolate bars are similar here and in the states.. however here there are several standouts.. Yorkies, Double Deckers etc etc.

In the states there are two standouts. IMO... Hersheys with Almonds and Reece's Peanut Butter Cups. Now, not to take anything away from Butterfingers.. Captain whoojamaflips and a number of other fabulous chocolate bars, those two stand out to me. IMO the UK is just slightly better.. however as has been pointed out.. the fact that a snickers bar costs nearly $1 here whereas it costs about 50 cents in the states speaks for it'self.


So would you rather pay the dollar and get a better tasting chocolate?

I had Hershey's with Almonds when we were in FLorida.  I liked it but it didn't taste chocolatey enough in my opinion.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 04/27/05 at 3:37 am


So would you rather pay the dollar and get a better tasting chocolate?

I had Hershey's with Almonds when we were in FLorida.  I liked it but it didn't taste chocolatey enough in my opinion.


I'd rather pay 50 Cents and have two.  ;D ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/27/05 at 6:26 am

My wife agrees...she's against Hershey.  She says it's grainy (even without the almonds). 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/27/05 at 9:01 am

I'm going to get shouted down here, but.....there's something about American chocolate that fails to impress me. When I did summer camp in Pennsylvania 10 years ago we went to Hersheyworld and ate more chocolate than a grown man should and.....blah. Sorry....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 04/27/05 at 9:14 am

Have you tried Dove chocolate? It's made by the Mars company (they also make m&m's and 3 Musketeers). Much smoother and creamier than most American chocolate.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/27/05 at 9:14 am

So, do you reckon there's a market for importing chocolate from the UK or (even nicer) Belgian or Swiss chocolate?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/27/05 at 9:29 am


So, do you reckon there's a market for importing chocolate from the UK or (even nicer) Belgian or Swiss chocolate?


European chocolate? I don't know if the Americans would handle it......

http://www.jakehowlett.com/tuckshop/wrappers/chocolate/filled/plopp.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/27/05 at 9:39 am

I meant this stuff really

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/27/05 at 9:41 am


European chocolate? I don't know if the Americans would handle it......


Plopp?  It sounds like baby formula derived from cow feces. 

...delicious! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 04/27/05 at 9:50 am



So, do you reckon there's a market for importing chocolate from the UK or (even nicer) Belgian or Swiss chocolate?



chocolate's just chocolate - it's what's inside the chocolate that matters

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/27/05 at 10:12 am


chocolate's just chocolate - it's what's inside the chocolate that matters



I agree completely....

http://www.chocolate.org/misc/hot-chocolate.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/27/05 at 10:22 am

humph  >:(

I search for "chocolate covered" +man and get nothing, nothing at all remotely interesting picture wise. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/27/05 at 10:34 am


humph  >:(

I search for "chocolate covered" +man and get nothing, nothing at all remotely interesting picture wise. 


Here you go, Karen...a present for you.  ;)

http://www.magicnevin.com/men%20chocolate.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mr Tumnus on 04/27/05 at 10:40 am


So, do you reckon there's a market for importing chocolate from the UK or (even nicer) Belgian or Swiss chocolate?


Hey Karen, yeah don't they say Belgian or Swiss chocolate is the best, but must contain 70% cocoa beans/solids to be a really delicious tasting chocolate, I dunno cos I've never had proper chocolate,
just vegetable fat and 10-20%  cocoa solids that they pass as chocolate that we're all used to. 

I'll take Hersheys Cookies and Cream nuggets anytime. ;)

mmmmmmmmmmmm 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mr Tumnus on 04/27/05 at 10:41 am


Here you go, Karen...a present for you.  ;)

http://www.magicnevin.com/men%20chocolate.jpg

HAHAHAHA  ;D
One of the girls dorms here has that poster on the wall!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/27/05 at 10:51 am


Here you go, Karen...a present for you.  ;)

http://www.magicnevin.com/men%20chocolate.jpg


Thanks Kristof

I am clearly looking in the wrong places!

(and I won't ask how you knew where to find it!)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 04/28/05 at 9:40 am

NIce job, guys.  Thanks to your chocoleroticism, I've been kicked off my homeroom computer for looking at obscene images. 

You Cloetta Plopps.  >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/28/05 at 11:33 am

Not to change the subject or anything...but is anyone else disconcerted by the fact that I drove to work this morning--April 28th--in a blizzard??

3-5 inches expected today...4-7 more expected tonight.

>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/28/05 at 11:41 am

That does seem rather a lot of snow for the time of year Arwen.  then again I guess it depends on your location.  Maybe it's not very much if you live at the North pole or somewhere like that!

Safe driving

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/28/05 at 12:23 pm


Not to change the subject or anything...but is anyone else disconcerted by the fact that I drove to work this morning--April 28th--in a blizzard??

3-5 inches expected today...4-7 more expected tonight.

>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(


Very sad.  Why can't we still get snow here?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/28/05 at 12:23 pm

Fashion question:  Red golf shirt, black dockers, brown belt.  No good?  Even with matching brown shoes?  Worse?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: agrimorfee on 04/28/05 at 12:26 pm


So, do you reckon there's a market for importing chocolate from the UK or (even nicer) Belgian or Swiss chocolate?


:D"Now this is Panda, from Mexico.
                      Very good stuff.  This is Bava,
                      different, but equally good.  And
                      this is Choco from the Hartz
                      Mountains of Germany.  Now the
                      first two are the same, forty-five
                      an ounce -- those are friend prices
                      -- but this one...
                            (pointing to the Choco)
                      ...this one's a little more
                      expensive.  It's fifty-five.  But
                      when you shoot it, you'll know
                      where that extra money went.
                      Nothing wrong with the first two.
                      It's real, real, real, good sheesh.
                      But this one's a fudgein' madman." :D ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/28/05 at 12:37 pm


Fashion question:  Red golf shirt, black dockers, brown belt.  No good?  Even with matching brown shoes?  Worse?


Questions:

1) Does the golf shirt have a wacky design on it?

2) What shade of brown are the shoes? Are we talking a dark chocolate, or a tan?

3) Does the belt have a large silver buckle in the shape of a US state?

4) Don't you have a wife to solve these fashion problems for you?

:D :D :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/28/05 at 12:41 pm


Not to change the subject or anything...but is anyone else disconcerted by the fact that I drove to work this morning--April 28th--in a blizzard??

3-5 inches expected today...4-7 more expected tonight.

>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(


I'm disconcerted by the fact that you live in Wyoming....but that amount of snow in April just ain't good.....I think it's time to get your prez to sign that Kyoto agreement pronto, cause the world's going to hell in a handbasket.

On the brighter side, it didn't rain here in London today.... 8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/28/05 at 12:58 pm


Questions:

3) Does the belt have a large silver buckle in the shape of a US state?



LOL!!!

I don't know, Jeff...are you asking because you are wearing that outfit today and everyone keeps giggling at you?  If so...are you sure they are giggling at your outfit?  Did you check your fly?

Or...are you asking because a co-worker is wearing that outfit today, and you want to make fun of him, but aren't sure if you'd be justified?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/28/05 at 1:26 pm


Questions:

1) Does the golf shirt have a wacky design on it?

2) What shade of brown are the shoes? Are we talking a dark chocolate, or a tan?

3) Does the belt have a large silver buckle in the shape of a US state?

4) Don't you have a wife to solve these fashion problems for you?

:D :D :D


1.  No design...just bright red
2.  Dark brown, but definitely brown
3.  No, but I do have a large Maryland belt buckle I wear to Maryland tailgates/football games.  It goes without saying that it would have helped if I'd worn it today.
4.  Who do you think made me feel all self-conscious about it???  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/28/05 at 1:29 pm


LOL!!!

I don't know, Jeff...are you asking because you are wearing that outfit today and everyone keeps giggling at you?  If so...are you sure they are giggling at your outfit?  Did you check your fly?

Or...are you asking because a co-worker is wearing that outfit today, and you want to make fun of him, but aren't sure if you'd be justified?


I should have known something was wrong when I couldn't decide whether to wear brown socks to match the shoes, or black to match the pants.  I thought I went with black, but it was dark, and I just realized that I went with navy blue.  And they're a bit old, so it's faded navy blue.  :\'(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/28/05 at 1:40 pm


... is anyone else disconcerted by the fact that I drove to work this morning--April 28th--in a blizzard??



I know Geo makes a Storm, but a Blizzard?

Brown with blue is definitely cool.  Maybe even black, if they're Dockers, since black chinos typically fade after a few washings anyway...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/28/05 at 2:10 pm



Brown with blue is definitely cool.  Maybe even black, if they're Dockers, since black chinos typically fade after a few washings anyway...


You see really...I waiting for Leo Fashionista Jay to drop by to answer your question before I committed to anything.  The last thing I need is a public flogging for giving bad fashion advice...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/28/05 at 4:45 pm


Fashion question:  Red golf shirt, black dockers, brown belt.  No good?  Even with matching brown shoes?  Worse?


Red shirt and black trousers, Jeff? Yep...I think that'll work...... ::)

http://www.livinginthelightms.com/scottmod.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/29/05 at 12:28 am

Blurgh. I feel wrecked. For the past two days I have been hiking through half a dozen different mountain spots, experiencing snakes and lizards, hooning through the central Australian desert on a quad bike into the dusk and visiting various cultural sites around the place. Prior to this morning's (cold) shower, I looked like I had been having a torrid triste with a tub of red Milo. I swear, we're just friends!

Tomorrow is my big finale of climbing Uluru, (what a striking coincidence to my choice of avatar) before heading back home to civilisation and CHOCOLATE!!! You people have been driving me crazy with all this talk of Cloetta Plopps and scantily-dripped models. (I take it your homeroom rules are strictly vegan, Emi?)

I have mucho vendetta against how expensive some chocolates are. Those creme-filled eggy things that are around 20g can cost over $3. That's $150 a kilo. How does that compare to lobster or gold or illegal narcotics by comparison? I mean, trafficked brides are less than that fer cryin' out loud!
My fave choc for the moment is Guylian. Melts in the mouth, not in the hand. (Avoids further references to trafficked brides.)

I'll try and whack up some outback pics soon, but don't expect too great a quality. It's terribly difficult taking scenic shots from a mobile phone whilst steering a 65km/h quad bike through billowing clouds of sand.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/29/05 at 3:40 am


Red shirt and black trousers, Jeff? Yep...I think that'll work...... ::)

http://www.livinginthelightms.com/scottmod.jpg


but look closely

he is wearing a black belt and shoes.

That is the key to pulling off this look I think

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 04/29/05 at 9:26 am


but look closely

he is wearing a black belt and shoes.

That is the key to pulling off this look I think



but pulling off that look would still be a lot easier than pulling off those pants

(which is probably a good thing  :-\\ )

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/29/05 at 9:29 am

Wow...if I'd had a phaser, I could have been really cool yesterday.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/29/05 at 9:33 am


Wow...if I'd had a phaser, I could have been really cool yesterday.


maybe

another question about clothing.  What's a golf shirt?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/29/05 at 9:35 am


maybe

another question about clothing.  What's a golf shirt?


Polo shirt.  Knit shirt, short-sleeve, with a collar.  Two to three buttons coming down from the neck, but not all the way down the shirt (wouldn't wear a tie with it)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 04/29/05 at 9:36 am

Polo Shirt then.

Have to tell you Jeff.  That sounds like the outfit the ladies at nursery wear!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/29/05 at 9:41 am


Polo Shirt then.

Have to tell you Jeff.  That sounds like the outfit the ladies at nursery wear!


I wouldn't want those freaky trekkies tending to my kids... or my plants... or whatever.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/29/05 at 9:57 am


Polo Shirt then.

Have to tell you Jeff.  That sounds like the outfit the ladies at nursery wear!


It's a good thing my black skirt was in the wash then!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 04/29/05 at 10:01 am


Polo shirt.  Knit shirt, short-sleeve, with a collar.  Two to three buttons coming down from the neck, but not all the way down the shirt (wouldn't wear a tie with it)


I tell ya, this golf shirt/polo shirt naming issue can cause quite a problem. I was playing 18 holes the other day and not only did I get stampeded, I got a mallet in the back of the head.... ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/29/05 at 10:37 am


I tell ya, this golf shirt/polo shirt naming issue can cause quite a problem. I was playing 18 holes the other day and not only did I get stampeded, I got a mallet in the back of the head.... ???


Sorry...it was Still Whack-A-Mole To Me  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 04/29/05 at 12:56 pm


Sorry...it was still Whack-A-Mole to me  ;D


LOL!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/29/05 at 12:57 pm

I can remember when 95% of the polo/golf shirts you'd see people wearing were Izod Lacoste alligator shirts... then at some point in the 80s, it was all about the Polo pony.  I don't even pay attention to what people wear these days -- something without a stupid 'status' logo attached, I guess...


Sorry...it was still Whack-A-Mole to me ;D


You have no 'off' switch, do you?  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 04/29/05 at 12:59 pm

When I can make a bad joke AND shamelessly plug a song in the same sentence, I can't resist.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/29/05 at 1:33 pm


When I can make a bad joke AND shamelessly plug a song in the same sentence, I can't resist.


I would never try to cram 23 plugs in the same sentence; I've got way too much American Pride to Climb Up The Mast and become a Crude-Thought Parader who's singing Karaoke and Dodging Moose Collisions after drinking a Keg-o-beer with Chewbacca, Denny Crane, Dustin Hoffman, Frankenstein, Funny Larry, Hannibal, Harry Potter, Jimi Hendrix, Kerry, Kim Jong IL, Martha, Mr. Jo Bangles, Ophelia, Ratzinger, Simon Cowell, and Spartacus.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 04/29/05 at 3:01 pm


I would never try to cram 23 plugs in the same sentence; I've got way too much American Pride to Climb Up The Mast and become a Crude-Thought Parader who's singing Karaoke and Dodging Moose Collisions after drinking a Keg-o-beer with Chewbacca, Denny Crane, Dustin Hoffman, Frankenstein, Funny Larry, Hannibal, Harry Potter, Jimi Hendrix, Kerry, Kim Jong IL, Martha, Mr. Jo Bangles, Ophelia, Ratzinger, Simon Cowell, and Spartacus.



How vulgar.  I would never spend that much time (or go through that much effort) just to plug so many of my own parodies.  Shame on you, Johnny D.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 04/29/05 at 3:29 pm


How vulgar.  I would never spend that much time (or go through that much effort) just to plug so many of my own parodies.  Shame on you, Johnny D.


Lazy bass turd.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 04/30/05 at 12:50 am

$2 for 6.5 minutes of internetting.
Outback bass turds.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: The Mistress Leola on 04/30/05 at 6:00 pm


$2 for 6.5 minutes of internetting.
Outback bass turds.


That's Uluru, right?  That big-ass rock in your avatar?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/01/05 at 11:48 pm


That's Uluru, right? That big-butt rock in your avatar?
Yes indeedy. I was up at 3am yesterday and couldn't get back to sleep due to the freezing air con, having to be ready for the 5am bus out to Uluru. It was about 45 minutes late, but we got out there about a quarter of an hour before sunrise (I've got mobile phone piccies...yecch.)

Finally I was about to ascend Uluru, the underlying purpose of my whole trip out there. However, in the cultural centre there was a little section of crayon drawings by 8 year old indigenous kids with 'Please do not climb Uluru' scrawled over them in that adorable kiddie style. And at the base of the climb was a request from the traditional land owners not to climb. And I was like "Gee, it would've been nice to know that the purpose of my journey is offensive to the Anangu culture BEFORE I paid to get up here!"
So I took the guided tour around the base of the rock instead. Still a great adventure, but the quad bikes were definitely the greatest fun.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/02/05 at 2:36 am

CNNNN DVD, have been in uproarious laughter for three and a half hours this morning. It's been years since they were on TV and the DVD is even funnier, because they have sections where DVD options like language and zoom are being fiddled with on screen, funny funny funny. Here is a small excerpt of the 'headlines' scrolling along the bottom of the screen during their news parodies:

Greenpeace condemns Vin Diesel as environmentally unfriendly.
3-day-old fly suffers midlife crisis.
Patriotic farmer produces star-spangled banana.
Bird and bee have sex with disastrous results.
Insecure rapper believes he's only number two.
Male homing pigeon refuses to ask directions.
Michael Jackson admits cutting off most of nose to spite face.
America cracks down on 'unpatriotic' Hindu-Arabic numerals.
Reader claims white pages L-Z not as good as A-K. 
US army accidentally bombs Afghan wedding guests' funeral.
Microchipped children in UK mistaken for dogs and desexed.
Expensive mobile phone owner actually uses expensive mobile phone function.
Eleven-year old declared world's oldest recorder player.
Critic twists words in movie title to describe how bad movie is.
Refresher towelette actually removes oil from fast-food eater's hands.
Pinocchio stuck in abusive relationship with termite.
Cab driver unwittingly delivers political monologue to deaf person.
Whoopee cushion used a second time.
Mr T biding time until gold chain renaissance.
Cartoonist's Mark Latham caricature requires nametag to be identifiable.
Primary school bushfire results in 3rd degree chinese burns.
Depressed, lonely Newsbar writer fears no-one ever reads his work. To prove him wrong email newsbar@cnnnn.com 
'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' actors finally abandon hope of fourth movie.
Couch potato believes 'Abdominator' will solve his weight problem.
Scientists discover scooter-loving gene.
Couch potato now believes 'Abdominator 2002' will solve his weight problem.
Beggar pretends not to see Mormon.
Couch potato decides McDonald's new fries oil makes Abdominator 2002 unnecessary.
Jousting wins phallic symbol awards for record 319th year.
Abbreviated SMS message requires three messages to clarify.
$25,000 dress completely unsuitable for any occasion.
Kinder Surprise toy only enjoyed by eccentric adolescent.
Adam Sandler grounded by 10-year-old son.
Female donkey finds sex intimidating.
Private school kid moved by urban poetry.
'70s icon reduced to parodying himself for a living.
Nigerian bank surprised by difficulty of giving away US$32 million.
Howard announces he may recognise Kyoto: "I'm pretty sure it's in Asia somewhere".
Patron pays attention to cinema pre-show advertising.
Dull, boofy bloke tipped to win Australian 'Big Brother III'.
Tributes flow for dead Hollywood celebrity no-one remembers.
David Beckham demands to be mentioned on this Newsbar. Fears lack of publicity.
Saddam: America makes 'great hamburgers'.
Sewer rats aspire to live in gutter.
Paparazzi mob Rolling Stones tour after mistaking them for young interesting band.
Kung Fu movie hero vows revenge on man who killed his father.
Adelaide man still can't see why it's funny that the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.
Movie character notices news story she's watching is relevant to her life. 
Frustrated driver massively overestimates time traffic light has been red. 
Humpback Whale changes species after massage. 
National Nine News runs for three hours on slow news day.
Britney Spears finally accepts her name isn't a joke.
Manic depressive prescribed Tampax for 'ultimate confidence'.
Testicular lump turns out to be testicle.
'Joseph Peabody from 32 White Ave Anonymous' Group closes due to anonymity concerns.
Israel cracks down on weirdos.
Holden and Ford in peace talks.
Used bubblegum salesman worries she's ahead of her time.
Hotmail celebrates its zillionth unsolicited email.
Scientists: venus fly trap may not have originated on venus.
Gigantic comet threatens to destroy Oprah Winfrey.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/02/05 at 11:10 pm

Hoorah! I found a typo at the almighty dictionary.com!

It's near the bottom, hopefully they haven't changed it yet after my alerting them to such a travesty:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=signification

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 05/02/05 at 11:36 pm


Hoorah! I found a typo at the almighty dictionary.com!

It's near the bottom, hopefully they haven't changed it yet after my alerting them to such a travesty:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=signification


I'm hoping and praying that you didn't actually search through all the words on dictionary.com until you found a page with a typo.  Laughing that hard can't be good for an asthmatic respiratory system like mine. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/03/05 at 12:02 am

No, I left the A-K section for you.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 05/03/05 at 1:20 am


No, I left the A-K section for you.


What a gentleman.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/03/05 at 2:51 am


What a gentleman.


Aha! Another typo! Everyone knows that only British aristocrats of "superior social position" qualify for true 'gentleman' status, yet the STUUUUPID dictionary defines one as: "A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior." How "marked by lack of intellectual acuuuuity".

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/03/05 at 9:01 am

Are we changing avatars daily now?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 05/03/05 at 10:04 am


Are we changing avatars daily now?


I know I am.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/03/05 at 11:39 am


I know I am.




I don't see any change.  Well, maybe the hem's a bit shorter.  Slut.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/03/05 at 12:20 pm


Are we changing avatars daily now?


I'm lucky if I change underwear everyday, much less avatars.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 05/03/05 at 12:45 pm



I'm lucky if I change underwear everyday, much less avatars.



T M I 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/03/05 at 1:18 pm


I'm lucky if I change underwear everyday, much less avatars.



I'll bet you change underwear many times a day... just not your own.  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/03/05 at 1:22 pm


I'll bet you change underwear many times a day... just not your own.  ::)


Um...well, I guess that's true  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/03/05 at 6:55 pm

LOL!

I have a very short attention span, which is why I... um, what was I talking about again?
Ooh, look! A 'Back' button!
clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 05/03/05 at 11:16 pm


I don't see any change.  Well, maybe the hem's a bit shorter.  Slut.


Nice call...I also changed my contacts, silly!


I'm lucky if I change underwear everyday, much less avatars.



LOL!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/04/05 at 10:40 am

We have an interesting brew of coffee at work today.  My co-worker goes to the coffee machine and gets a cup...and it's full of ants!  Tries again...more ants!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 05/04/05 at 1:25 pm


We have an interesting brew of coffee at work today.  My co-worker goes to the coffee machine and gets a cup...and it's full of ants!  Tries again...more ants!


Waiter, there's an ant in my coffee!

Shhhh! Everyone will want one.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 05/04/05 at 1:26 pm


We have an interesting brew of coffee at work today.  My co-worker goes to the coffee machine and gets a cup...and it's full of ants!  Tries again...more ants!


Waiter, there's an ant in my coffee!

Of course sir. Spiders cost extra.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 05/04/05 at 1:27 pm


We have an interesting brew of coffee at work today.  My co-worker goes to the coffee machine and gets a cup...and it's full of ants!  Tries again...more ants!


Waiter, there are ants in my coffee!

Yes sir, the flies are on strike.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/05/05 at 3:02 am

"I can see where THIS is going..."

Tonsure of the crinite hairy. Why'd I let girls tweak and shear me?
Gonad depilation, furious polling. Crotch: a cutback knoll.
Well, my follicles a-flaxen got anti-hair dames a-waxin'
Having such fun, madly hackin' at my shaggy, lank-tressed pall.
"We need some secateurs," they uttered, wacky and cantankerous souls.
"Hoary whiskers- cut them all!"

Ah, their pinking shears dismembered the fuzz from my meek pudenda,
Soon electrolysing dreadlocks off my scrotum, burning holes.
Evilly they snipped and burrowed, plainly tried to cut a furrow.
Golden locks soon ceased to swallow up the contents of my smalls.
Now a bare and glabrous wastelands, pubic tangles took a fall.
Maimed, these hairless genitals.

O, my wilted nads were hurtin', bristles had been stropped and murdered.
Spill my villi? Such a spastic error, cleverness on hold.
I'd yell "Ow!" and feel the bleeding from my cuts, hairline receding.
Snipping scissors, torrid cleaving women scratched out chancrous sores.
Steel-blade garden shears were neat implements for the dangerous cause.
Grizzly bits soon stuffed with gauze.

Tresses freed, a full-mown jungle. Un-lanate gonads look mongol.
Hirsute piles, once had 'em. Curly, ulotrichous, rife in rolls.
But a pack of psycho madams must have mentally craved slashin'
Off my manly, comate package. Satchel now a shaven holt.
And my a** was shorn, coiffure 'do now a cloven shire a-polled.
Marvelous hair, those duffers stole.

Reaped my oats! A lark, this shearing. Mongrel wool required a clearing.
Shouts and screaming seemed so gutteral as 'down there' was tweezered. COR!
Oh, the violence on my scrotum from their silly shaving program,
Left a xanthocroidal totem pole of whiskerless appall.
Dearly missed, my fluffy wall.

Hacked into a chancrous burning, balls had moulted. Skin was yearning,
For that slender hair a-flazen with the cowlick and Mohawk.
'Sorely,' said I. 'Whorish sadist women cut my bristled mattress.
Left it feelin' like a cactus! Bandaged blistering sack, raw.
Vitals marred, papillae swollen from the scissors and hacksaw.
Stitchin' in some tough sutures.

Mopin' here, I flung those nutters outside into the dirty gutter.
And then swept up all the shaven hairs who'd lately graced the floor.
Alopecia grievance sating. Sobs and whimpers, drops cascading.
Got a groin folorn and jaded, itching from a chancrous sore.
Scratching at my crotch and phallus. Cropped by nutters, razors drawn.
Botched, I spat and cussed some more.

Man-itch agony burned my vitals. Did bad dancing (like an Idol).
At my shaven shorn spot, pawing, covered in ointments of old.
Oh, my quest for lotions lathered now to help procure hairs severed,
Hardly dimmed it, pain endeavoured. Smouldering undies tightly pulled.
Growled from Their ungodly, heinous show of smiting grown men's balls.
Smote my haven: nethers mauled.

Crotch now stubbled like some grainy jowls from their scissors, those ladies.
Pulled my pants up, bristles paining. Grizzled genitals now bald.
No more lanate pelt a-growing and no glistening pube hair flowing,
Severed locks and tresses coating, like a rug, the basement floor.
'Well, atleast you got a carpet!' 'Just a drugget laid on boards.
With crotch maimed, this zephyr's cold!'

Butt was shaven, itching double like an acid bath with bubbles.
Scratched and clawed, as if my balls here had a coating of dour spores.
Fluff no longer grew i ntussocks at my nethers or my buttocks.
Villia scarcely more than nothing, as the ends were mown quite short.
Oh, the sorrow left me griveing. I was moping, most withdrawn.
Wished to murder clever whores!

Bottled fury. Kill those jokers! Mind was nigh enwrapped and choking.
Drowned in red fire, just go gut and slit those hos who plucked you raw!
Lost within some maddened fluster, thoughts of murdering the bastards,
They flowed fast and swallowed up my sense of wrong in hurting broads.
Til this urge to go slit throats was hardly folly any more.
Come dagger, stabbing sword!

As 'my shaven' still was pining in my panties, caused much whining,
Hate soon filled my bosom, heat of brunt to murder bastard whores.
So upon the carpet slinking, whilst my pluckered pelt kept stinging,
Pranced into the pantry kitchen and voluminous Murder Drawer.
Reached within for stainless/jagged/blunt-like paraphernalia.
Meant for poking, causing gall.

In a mad, enraged obsession was a killer with a weapon.
With a foul and dire demise to turn upon the woman's hoard.
Lips were drawn, eyes fat and shining. As my vengeance seemed inspiring,
My new mission had been climbing to the camp of gloating bawds.
And I felt a violence rising to my hands from scrotal sores.
With this weapon, get them sprawled!

...to be continued...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 05/05/05 at 3:38 am


We have an interesting brew of coffee at work today. My co-worker goes to the coffee machine and gets a cup...and it's full of ants! Tries again...more ants!




Waiter there are some ants in my coffee

They help keep the grounds tidy

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/05/05 at 7:25 am


Waiter there are some ants in my coffee

They help keep the grounds tidy


LOL!  Clever

(Rex's as well...didn't mean to pass over them)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: agrimorfee on 05/05/05 at 7:51 am

Waiter there are ants my coffee

If you think that's bad, wait'll you see the uncles in the biscotti case!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/06/05 at 12:26 am

"Waiter, there are ants in my coffee!"
"Oh it must be Emi's shift at Starbucks."

After a hideously low 50/100 from my cantankerous geriatric English tutor (a major clash of personalities. Like a pineapple-flavoured EmiMochaccino.) I was dreading my first Culture essay mark, which I had written in even less hours than I had the English one, after mooching an extension due to my aforementioned swollen eye. Hence I was thoroughly relieved to find a 'D' on it- I had passed! Until I realised that my high school grading system of A,B,C,D,F changes in Uni to HD,D,C,P, Conceded P,F.
That's right, folks, I scored a Distinction for a five-hour effort! 'Twas only an 800 word essay, but at 20% I'm now over the initial dismay I felt over my abysmal English mark. I guess it ultimately proves that my English tutor is just out to get me, or otherwise her 78-year old libido cannot handle the sudden rebirthing of sexual attraction to a student.

*reclines back and sips latte*
Mmm, the ants really soften on the palate.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/08/05 at 1:00 am

Yes! I finally succeeded in getting TWO (that's right, count them!) captions into the weekly MuggleNet caption competition under my pseudonyms. And even more amazing is they were listed one after another!
http://www.mugglenet.com/cc/index.shtml

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/09/05 at 12:25 am


I don't see any change.  Well, maybe the hem's a bit shorter.  Slut.


Speaking of sluts, I've been paying considerable attention to Katherine's wardrobe on CSI ever since you said she dresses like a slut, and I find her wardrobe decidedly unslutty.  Just so you know.


We have an interesting brew of coffee at work today. My co-worker goes to the coffee machine and gets a cup...and it's full of ants! Tries again...more ants!




So what ever happened?  Where did the ants come from?  Slut.


Nice call...I also changed my contacts, silly!

LOL!!


Hi darling!  How are you?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 05/09/05 at 9:45 am



Hi darling!  How are you?



Oh my HALLELUJAH!! 

My Ashkicker is back!!!

http://www.hansiboy.com/Citizen/Celebrate!%20Barbara,KC,Sue%20Bell,Nancy,Martha.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/09/05 at 9:52 am


Speaking of sluts, I've been paying considerable attention to Katherine's wardrobe on CSI ever since you said she dresses like a slut, and I find her wardrobe decidedly unslutty.  Just so you know.

So what ever happened?  Where did the ants come from?  Slut.

Hi darling!  How are you?



HEY KIDDO!

I'm not sure I said "slut", but c'mon, that wardrobe is inappropriate for work.  But that's TV nowadays -- 80% of women under 40 are wardrobed in skintight lowriders and a skintight micro-top.  Attorneys, doctors, schoolteachers, sex crime investigators, accountants... doesn't matter.

Not that I'm complaining, you understand.  Just an objective assessment.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/09/05 at 10:08 am

Does anyone know the OFFICIAL TITLE?

Octopus' Garden
Octopus's Garden or
Octopuses Garden

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/09/05 at 10:11 am

Welcome back, Princess AKA

Apropos of nothing at all, I thought I'd share with y'all....

Sleeping with a hooker is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs: you know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/09/05 at 10:14 am


Does anyone know the OFFICIAL TITLE?

Octopus' Garden
Octopus's Garden or
Octopuses Garden


9 out of 10 Beatles fans surveyed say......Octopus's Garden

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/09/05 at 12:35 pm


9 out of 10 Beatles fans surveyed say......Octopus's Garden


Thanks, old man.  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/09/05 at 1:46 pm


Thanks, old man.  ;D


No *cough* problem, *wheeze* youngster.....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/09/05 at 2:06 pm


No *cough* problem, *wheeze* youngster.....


Hardly.  I outrank you in that regard.  That's why I can get away with calling you "old man".  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/10/05 at 8:39 am

Luke, you're a brilliant dude, but I think 'aged 6' crosses the line from 'jailbait' into something else and sabotages the song.  I know you enjoy pushing the envelope, but I think you might have ripped it.  ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/10/05 at 9:30 am

I've got to agree with Leo, Luke...there's pushing the envelope and then there's ripping it up and p***ing on it. Some great lines in "Jailbait", but you need to make the girl older if you don't want to get lynched. Loved the Anagram Song; you're a clever dude!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/10/05 at 1:31 pm

Random funny:

this is great!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 05/10/05 at 2:44 pm


Random funny:

this is great!


TOTALLY funny!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/10/05 at 2:50 pm


TOTALLY funny!!


I love this bit:
"there's chicken blood on your shirt"
"but not on my HANDS"

I'm totally stumped for good parody tunes.  I want to work on something rhythmic like 'Major General' or 'Supercal...', but I've already done those...  Ideas?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 05/10/05 at 3:01 pm


I'm totally stumped for good parody tunes.  I want to work on something rhythmic like 'Major General' or 'Supercal...', but I've already done those...  Ideas?


You said "rhythmic", not "good", so: Life Is a Rock by Reunion.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/10/05 at 3:08 pm


I love this bit:
"there's chicken blood on your shirt"
"but not on my HANDS"

I'm totally stumped for good parody tunes.  I want to work on something rhythmic like 'Major General' or 'Supercal...', but I've already done those...  Ideas?


Rhythm Of The Night by DeBarge
Let the Rhythm Hit Em by Eric B and Rakim
RhythmNation by Janet "I'm Not Michael" Jackson

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/10/05 at 3:19 pm

Um... okay: I want to work on a GOOD rhythmic song...

And not just any old stupid-a** song that just happens to have the word "rhythm" in the title, Mr. Pacing-Basher.

::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 05/10/05 at 4:20 pm

Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/10/05 at 7:40 pm

Cheers for the feedback, all. Comments noted, and I'll omit references to any particular age. (But it's a GREAT pun, innit?)

I chortled so much over that vegan thing that I required extra legume... legroom.
Fave line: "Jennifer rummages through vegetable crisper, retires to bedroom. I believe she is beginning to see the light."

A rhythmic tune for Leo? It'd be a challenge to do the "Uncle..." song by Terrance and Philip from the South Park movie, but I guess most of the rhythm in that is from flatulence percussion.
So I propose "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" You haven't done that one yet, have you?

And I've finally seen the purpose of my university course.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 05/10/05 at 10:11 pm


Because I like using colours and have no concept of overkill...


*big, stupid tear-filled Tibbygirl eyes*

Well, Luke.  At the rate you're going, you'll be able to say hi to Bubbles for me.  Look!  A big, obvious stop sign you missed about 3 intersections behind you! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/10/05 at 11:40 pm


Oh my HALLELUJAH!! 

My Ashkicker is back!!!

http://www.hansiboy.com/Citizen/Celebrate!%20Barbara,KC,Sue%20Bell,Nancy,Martha.jpg


Ahhhh...it's nice to be loved.  I've definitely missed ya'll.

Jeff, you never finished the ant story!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/10/05 at 11:44 pm


Look!  A big, obvious stop sign you missed about 3 intersections behind you! 


I'd better turn you around U-turn around, then.


Jeff, you never finished the ant story!!


Yeah! Does it have a happy anting?
*booooo* :-[

Mere minutes ago we coaxed another friend to play bass in our 'band', thus justifying the ellipsis reference.
:D Three guesses what his name is! :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 05/11/05 at 9:30 am


Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B?


Oh! That might work...  thanks for the suggestion.



So I propose "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" You haven't done that one yet, have you?



Oho!  Another good one I haven't yet overdone!  Thanks!



... I'll omit references to any particular age. (But it's a GREAT pun, innit?)



Well, if the narrator isn't too old, you could have him referring to her as his "sweet sex teen"...



I chortled so much over that vegan thing that I required extra legume... legroom.
Fave line: "Jennifer rummages through vegetable crisper, retires to bedroom. I believe she is beginning to see the light."



Yep, that's another gem.

And since it was specifically refererred to as a 'vegetable crisper', I guess it was a pear-less crisper.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/11/05 at 12:07 pm



So what ever happened?  Where did the ants come from?  Slut.



The ants came from the coffee machine. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/11/05 at 12:20 pm


Um... okay: I want to work on a GOOD rhythmic song...

And not just any old stupid-a** song that just happens to have the word "rhythm" in the title, Mr. Pacing-Basher.

::)


that would leave you with Let The Rhythm Hit Em by Eric B and Rakim

Boom-boom-BISH!
BISH-BISH-Boom-BISH!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/11/05 at 9:08 pm



Well, if the narrator isn't too old, you could have him referring to her as his "sweet sex teen"...



Drat, I'd planned you and Kristof to sing it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/12/05 at 12:14 pm

Arwen..congrats on Netsour Le Penguin!  Again  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 05/12/05 at 7:57 pm

Speaking of sweet sex teens, I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. 

With a guy.

So if anyone has any spare cement, you can pack it around my buried head...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Apricot on 05/12/05 at 8:28 pm


Speaking of sweet sex teens, I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. 

With a guy.

So if anyone has any spare cement, you can pack it around my buried head...


Dear Lord... this guy.. does he ever just... I don't know.. STOP?

You gotta dump that biznatch. RIGHT NOW.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 05/12/05 at 9:17 pm


Speaking of sweet sex teens, I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. 

With a guy.

So if anyone has any spare cement, you can pack it around my buried head...


I'm so sorry Grace...I mean Emi.

Love Will.  I mean Jeff.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/12/05 at 10:12 pm


Speaking of sweet sex teens, I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. 

With a guy.

So if anyone has any spare cement, you can pack it around my buried head...


*loosens collar*
What? How do you know about that? I swear, it was just a neck massage that went too far...

...oh. Right. Your 'real' boyfriend.
Not just a foreigner-one-hits-on-lamely-via-the-Internet-in-a-blind-attempt-to-mask-one's-severe-lack-of-actual-relationships.

*awkward patting*
There, there.... there, there... there, there.
Click the face.
:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/13/05 at 7:54 am


Well, if the narrator isn't too old, you could have him referring to her as his "sweet sex teen"...



Drat, I'd planned you and Kristof to sing it.


Start running, Brattoni, you cheeky young scamp!! Once my lumbago clears up, I'm gonna come around and beat on your head some... :P :P :P :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/14/05 at 12:07 am

More Additions to my Urine List! With Links!
All Is Full Of Love by Bjork. By far THE BEST VIDEO CLIP I have ever seen. Cunningham, you a cunning man. 10/10.

Technologic by Daft Punk.  Yes, I have robot fetish.
They by Jem. She relaxes by listening to Eminem. Thatta girl.
Feel Good by Gorillaz. Another triumph!
Mosh by Eminem. I can barely do 2 seconds of this kind of animation, but MS Paint aint exactly top-of-the line equipment.
Owner Of A Lonely Heart by Yes. Cool kids. Bikini models not bad either.

When I Get Old Watercolour art by Marilyn Manson.

And lightning strikes twice in a row for the Luke/Jake mugglenet success.
The Spoof Is In Here

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/17/05 at 2:05 am

*gasp!*

Where are all of Luke's songs-that-so-totally-don't-clog-up-the-thread?

Yes, I wish to support an early armageddon

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/19/05 at 10:40 am


*gasp!*

Where are all of Luke's songs-that-so-totally-don't-clog-up-the-thread?

Yes, I wish to support an early armageddon


I've read them all, Luke..(god, I was bored!  :o)...what's the deal? Are you recording them? Are you in a band? They've got a lovely Doug Anthony Allstars quality to them. Keep up the good work...and put me down for a CD

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/19/05 at 9:37 pm

Well, Luke and Luke are producer and actor in the uni play at the moment (respectively... ha.) so when that ends Boots Luke will get busy writing music on acoustics (I haven't been able to post 'I Wanna Be A Minority' because he's been possessively hoarding his precious brainchild to work on it.)
I have some faint hunch that we won't be recording any time soon, but it'd be cool to perform at the comedy review later on in the year.


Are you in a band? They've got a lovely Doug Anthony Allstars quality to them.

Doug Anthony Allstars? Never heard of them...
*googlegooglegoogle*
Hang on! Ever since GNW I've loved Paul McDermott!
I remember Tim Ferguson from "Don't Forget Your Toothbrush!"
And Richard Fidler... is... another... good person... ... (!)

This face looks clickworthy...
:-X

"Sexual psychology fasinates me more than art or science
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance"
Man, I really relate to their message.

The band's 'Siamese Ellipses'. Pre-order your own copy of the impeding apocalypse now!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 05/19/05 at 10:51 pm

Siamese Ellipses, eh? 

Tibbygirl - "Sounds entirely emo."

Let me know when you tour the U.S. - I'm definitely going to be the rabid groupie that you pay to hang onto the back bus bumper in order to make you look droolworthy. 



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 05/19/05 at 10:59 pm



Doug Anthony Allstars? Never heard of them...
*googlegooglegoogle*
Hang on! Ever since GNW I've loved Paul McDermott!
I remember Tim Ferguson from "Don't Forget Your Toothbrush!"
And Richard Fidler... is... another... good person... ... (!)



Yes, Kristof, good get - Luke IS a Doug Anthony All-Star - print the lyrics to one of their songs, hold it up against one of Luke's and see if you can spot the differences

Luke, when DAAS broke up (do you remember their ABC show, DAAS Kapital!), Richard Fidler became host of Race Around The World.  And I know Tim Ferguson socially *name-dropping* and have wined dined and partied with him over the years, and he is an odd one - no details, but I often quote one of his observations about marriage, which is that all men really want is a quiet life... 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/19/05 at 11:05 pm


I often quote one of his observations about marriage, which is that all men really want is a quiet life... 


...and an occasional triste with a canine in a park.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 05/20/05 at 12:18 pm

These are just too priceless to not share:

The Taxman Replies

The Hotel Soap Saga

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: marthadtox3 on 05/20/05 at 4:57 pm

absolutely fabulous!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/21/05 at 2:08 am


These are just too priceless to not share:

The Taxman Replies

The Hotel Soap Saga


Amusing!
The White House Website is also a laugh.
Be Pro-Virgin, Girls.
Be Pro-Virgin, Boys.


:D Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I need to gloat! :D
We got The Da Vinci Code for my Dad's birthday so I've just started reading it.
I'm proud to say that I figured out that first lameass anagram within about ten seconds, cuz the first four letters were 'ardo' backwards and the rest just clicked. The last line took about two seconds... talk about Da Cinchy Code.


Just like with Harry Potter, I'm a late reader who is hooked and wants to parody it to bits.
Expect my new pseudonym to be 'Bran Down (Jake A Ralphing) ((Luke Brattoni))'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/23/05 at 1:27 am

OK, I just stayed up til 3am finishing The Da Vinci Code. I picked the 'sub-Rosa' text immediately, but thought that the 'knight' was going to be Adam from deciphering the second half of the cryptex clues. (Coincidental that the knight is 'S.I.N'? Hmm? HMM?)
I didn't like how Brown tried too hard to emphasise all the 'layered meanings' of the clues, it didn't add anything to the story and seemed like he was milking the Hebrew spelling clue for all it was worth. Oh, and that spiel on Walt Disney films was utter tripe. My verdict: not worth the global furore, but a fine read.

Nine albinos:  :) :) :) :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/24/05 at 12:39 am

Compare Australian Idol winner Casey Donovan with Episode III character Chi Eekway.

http://www.theage.com.au/text/ffximage/2005/01/22/casey_donovan_narrowweb__200x345.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 05/24/05 at 9:21 am


call me stupid, but one of them's blue ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 05/24/05 at 9:43 am


call me stupid, but one of them's blue ???




Stuart

You are stupid

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 05/24/05 at 9:54 am


hoh!  I have NEVER been so insulted >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/25/05 at 12:36 am


OK, I just stayed up til 3am finishing The Da Vinci Code. I picked the 'sub-Rosa' text immediately, but thought that the 'knight' was going to be Adam from deciphering the second half of the cryptex clues. (Coincidental that the knight is 'S.I.N'? Hmm? HMM?)
I didn't like how Brown tried too hard to emphasise all the 'layered meanings' of the clues, it didn't add anything to the story and seemed like he was milking the Hebrew spelling clue for all it was worth. Oh, and that spiel on Walt Disney films was utter tripe. My verdict: not worth the global furore, but a fine read.

Nine albinos:  :) :) :) :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D


Grrrrrrreat book.  It's been a while since I read it, so I don't really know what you're talking about, but if you look at "The Last Supper" he's dead on.  Totally blew my mind...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/25/05 at 12:55 am

I found the reference to the Harry Potter books hilarious, cuz this has similar riddles, anagrams and plot twists.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/25/05 at 1:01 am


I found the reference to the Harry Potter books hilarious, cuz this has similar riddles, anagrams and plot twists.


True, true...

All in all, it really changed my way of thinking.  I think everyone should read it at some point or another.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/25/05 at 2:05 am

Ooh! I just did the two Da Vinci Code quests.
After cracking some easily googled questions, there are all these hella fun faux websites (a bank, an auction site etc.) that allow you to find the next hint for the next website and so on. You even get emailed clues as if you're a character. Brilliant.
After an hour or so of heading all over the place, you finally end up with a phone number to call for an answering machine message of congratulations, but I think it's an American number.

And now for something completely different. To quote myself from another thread:

...serious FREAK status. Like Dakota Fanning. I'd guess her IQ at 220.


I've had this irritating niggle in my subconscious about Dakota Fanning and I FINALLY worked it out after they played old CSI repeats last night (the 'Blood Drops' episode. Dark.) cuz she was the little girl from that! CLOSURE! AT LAST!
I frickin' adore her acting cuz she is SUCH a genius. Just picking up all of her nuances in simple acts like blinking or her focal point while she speaks absolutely puts the majority of adult actors to shame. Haley Joel Osment? HA!

Evil, evil little genius:
http://pds.egloos.com/pds/1/200408/27/44/b0002044_1135221.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 05/26/05 at 1:58 am

Because my brother is always funny.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Alex.bmp http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/elmo2.bmp


These are almost as funny:
Terrorist Video
Black NASA landed on the moon September 31st, 1966.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/01/05 at 12:32 am

http://www.nevosoft.com/winter/winter_3.jpg


WINTER IS HERE!!!


...right, right. You're in the 'Northern Hemisphere'. Enjoy your scalding heat. :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 06/01/05 at 11:42 am


http://www.nevosoft.com/winter/winter_3.jpg


WINTER IS HERE!!!


...right, right. You're in the 'Northern Hemisphere'. Enjoy your scalding heat. :)


SUMMER IS HERE!!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/humber/images/webcams/bridlington.jpg

Scalding heat, my as-terix!

Honestly, this photo was taken TODAY, up in Yorkshire. In London it's not been much better... :(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/01/05 at 12:19 pm

So...I recently returned from my vacation in San Diego...and I just thought that I would make it publically known that if ANY of you fellas on the board...

(who have been too shy to post your photos...I have ruled out all of those who've shown their cute faces)...

...happen to be leading a double life as a genius parodist AND the pre-show entertainment/Captain Cazador in the Sea Lion and Otter show at Sea World San Diego...

I think it's about time that we went ahead and got married.

That's it...I've said it.  I am officially infatuated with a Seal Trainer.  He's a dreamy DREAMY bastard...and though I didn't think that I'd ever want to live out there, I would consider it if he asked... ;)

I'll post photos as soon as I get my film developed...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 06/01/05 at 12:26 pm



I'll post photos as soon as I get my film developed...


Of you?  The Seal Trainer?  Or both of you at the reception?  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/01/05 at 12:30 pm


1.  Of you? 
2.  The Seal Trainer? 
3.  Or both of you at the reception?   ;D


I can do 1 & 2...but we won't have the reception for at least another 2 weeks, silly...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 06/01/05 at 2:57 pm


I can do 1 & 2...but we won't have the reception for at least another 2 weeks, silly...


Those things are always staged in advance.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/01/05 at 3:04 pm


Those things are always staged in advance.


Well, I still think it's better if I figure out what his name is before I plan the reception...

I mean...how am I going to have the napkins embossed?  "Arwen and Hot Seal Trainer Guy?"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 06/01/05 at 8:50 pm


Well, I still think it's better if I figure out what his name is before I plan the reception...

I mean...how am I going to have the napkins embossed?  "Arwen and Hot Seal Trainer Guy?"


Well, the Amiright Paparazzi followed you and caught your guy serenading you. Looks like he's going for the Vin Diesel look!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/01/05 at 9:11 pm

Welcome back Arwen and LOL Jeff.
So he has your seal of approval?
Will you seal your marraige with a kiss?
Should I just shut up now?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/01/05 at 11:47 pm


Well, the Amiright Paparazzi followed you and caught your guy serenading you. Looks like he's going for the Vin Diesel look!


LOL!!  I TOLD you he was hot!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/02/05 at 2:15 am

*
Well, the Amiright Paparazzi followed you and caught your guy serenading you. Looks like he's going for the Vin Diesel look!


The Vin Diesel look? What, cuz of his huge chest?
*drum fill*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: GoodRedShirt on 06/02/05 at 3:22 am


WINTER IS HERE!!!
Most definitely.  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/04/05 at 1:24 am

"SUSPICIOUS PACKAGES POSSIBLY CONTAINING ANTHRAX SENT TO INDONESIAN EMBASSY"
Luke Brattoni: "I swear, it wasn't me this time!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/05/05 at 1:31 am


WINTER IS HERE!!!

...right, right. You're in the 'Northern Hemisphere'. Enjoy your scalding heat. :)


Hmph...

I'd like to just say, for the record, that I woke up at 7:00 this morning without any power...as several power lines had been downed by a horrific snow storm.  ON THE 4TH OF JUNE!!  >:(  The power was out ALL day...and it was freezing!!

Yeah...trees were breaking under the weight of the snow...all over town.  We went for a drive and almost every street is littered with tree casualties...and not just little branches...we're talking like...half of the tree coming down. 

It's past midnight now...and there are still people in town who don't have power...but I was at a friend's house when our neighborhood saw the light again at 10:00 p.m.



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/05/05 at 2:46 am


Hmph...

I'd like to just say, for the record, that I woke up at 7:00 this morning without any power...as several power lines had been downed by a horrific snow storm.  ON THE 4TH OF JUNE!!  >:(  The power was out ALL day...and it was freezing!!


Oh, quit yer whingeing. Sydney's temperature ALSO dropped to around 25 degrees...
...Celsius.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: GoodRedShirt on 06/05/05 at 4:02 am


Oh, quit yer whingeing. Sydney's temperature ALSO dropped to around 25 degrees...
...Celsius.
That's cold.  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 06/05/05 at 7:09 am


That's cold.  :P


sure is - I nearly had to put on a shirt

(these Aussie winters are soul-destroying :\'()



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/05/05 at 11:12 am

These pictures are tiny...and I can't get them any bigger...but they were taken here in town yesterday...


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 06/05/05 at 11:16 pm


and this picture was taken just outside Sydney yesterday - brrrrrrrr!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/06/05 at 12:07 am

Poor Arwen.
SmirkingMAO.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/06/05 at 12:26 am


Poor Arwen.
SmirkingMAO.


>:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/06/05 at 1:03 am


>:(


HowlingMAO.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 06/06/05 at 8:05 pm


and this picture was taken just outside Sydney yesterday - brrrrrrrr!


http://www.australianoutdoors.com/images/dunny%20images/dunny%20poem%202.jpg

And this one was taken outside Luke's house yesterday; or is it Luke's house?..... :D

(You know I'm only joshing, buddy... ;))

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 06/06/05 at 10:50 pm


and this one was taken outside Kristof's house yesterday

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 06/07/05 at 3:34 am


and this one was taken outside Kristof's house yesterday


And this is Stuart's Sydney residence....  ;)

http://www.australienbilder.de/serien/bilder/sydney10.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 06/07/05 at 9:24 am



And this is Stuart's Sydney residence....  ;)



so I like to live on the water!

my mate Steve and I happen to think it's a great place to raise children...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 06/07/05 at 10:27 am


so I like to live on the water!

my mate Steve and I happen to think it's a great place to raise children...


I agree. I think it's good to expose your kids to Mother Nature from an early age....

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1072908911446_2004/01/02/3n_croc,0.jpg

"Calm down, will ya! I've got your main course in me left hand..."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/07/05 at 8:21 pm


http://www.australianoutdoors.com/images/dunny%20images/dunny%20poem%202.jpg

And this one was taken outside Luke's house yesterday; or is it Luke's house?..... :D

(You know I'm only joshing, buddy... ;))


Oh, it's lucky you said you were only joshing, I was getting very offended there.
;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 06/08/05 at 8:24 pm

To change the suject to me (where it always should be), guess who's graduating tomorrow?

That's right, as of tomorrow afternoon, I'll have to start checking "High school graduate" on internet surveys! In addition, I'll never again be able to use the "I'm just in high school" excuse when my parodies suck. Come next year, I'll be submitting my parodies from the esteemed halls of Swarthmore College (the #2 ranked liberal arts college in the US of A, only behind Williams!), so expect my parodies to get more and more pretentious and unaccessable.

Also, I'm submitting this posting using my graduation gift (well, one gift...the PSP is on its way), my brand new laptop! I'm also using the internet wirelessly on this thing, hijacking the wireless signal from the Starbucks downstairs from me. Isn't NYC grand?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/09/05 at 2:47 am

My friend just went over to stay with family in Canada and had some pics of his cousin graduating.
Although the tradition is lame as hell and has been run to the ground by teen movies, I kinda wish we had something similar down under. Unfortunately, 200 years is a pitiful amount of 'history' to get a tradition out of.

Oh well, I guess these will have to cheer me up...
Groovy 2n
Manga Homestar

Subject: hey dakota

Written By: mike on 06/10/05 at 12:05 am

hey dakota my name is mike amira mustafa iam a huge fan of you write back please. ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/10/05 at 1:06 am

...
...
...
...did I just see...

...
...
...
...
...hold on, give me a moment here...

...
...
...

...um...

...
...
...
...
...right.

*random Dakota Fanning picture!*
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Dakota.bmp

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 06/10/05 at 10:15 am

When I was about 16 or so, we all had a thing for the teenaged Brooke Sheilds.  But she was hot, and -- more to the point -- she was OUR AGE.  The Dakota Fanning thing is weird to the point of quasi-pedophilia.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 06/10/05 at 10:21 am

having just looked on imdb.com I found out that she is 11  :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 06/10/05 at 11:22 am


To change the suject to me (where it always should be), guess who's graduating tomorrow?

That's right, as of tomorrow afternoon, I'll have to start checking "High school graduate" on internet surveys! In addition, I'll never again be able to use the "I'm just in high school" excuse when my parodies suck. Come next year, I'll be submitting my parodies from the esteemed halls of Swarthmore College (the #2 ranked liberal arts college in the US of A, only behind Williams!), so expect my parodies to get more and more pretentious and unaccessable.

Also, I'm submitting this posting using my graduation gift (well, one gift...the PSP is on its way), my brand new laptop! I'm also using the internet wirelessly on this thing, hijacking the wireless signal from the Starbucks downstairs from me. Isn't NYC grand?


Umm, what's a liberal arts college, anyways?  Can you apply paint liberally? Do they have less republican and democratic art?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Arwen on 06/10/05 at 11:52 am


When I was about 16 or so, we all had a thing for the teenaged Brooke Sheilds.  But she was hot, and -- more to the point -- she was OUR AGE.  The Dakota Fanning thing is weird to the point of quasi-pedophilia.


I was always in love with men who were like 20 years older than me.  Okay, 10.  Okay, 8.  But none of them were ever younger...let alone pre-pubescent.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 06/10/05 at 12:04 pm


Umm, what's a liberal arts college, anyways?  Can you apply paint liberally? Do they have less republican and democratic art?


A liberal arts college is simply a small college (as opposed to a big university) consisting only of undergrads, and with a very broad cirriculum. Swarthmore, Amherst, Williams, Vassar, Carleton, Haverford, Middlebury and Bowdoin are at the top of the class for liberal arts colleges.

The upside is that they are small, with small classes, lots of individual attention, and a broad, top-notch education easily comparable to the Ivy Leagues (avg. SAT and GPA at Swarthmore is roughly the same as Harvard et. al.). The main downside is that nobody has ever heard of them  :-\\

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 06/10/05 at 12:07 pm


A liberal arts college is simply a small college (as opposed to a big university) consisting only of undergrads, and with a very broad cirriculum. Swarthmore, Amherst, Williams, Vassar, Carleton, Haverford, Middlebury and Bowdoin are at the top of the class for liberal arts colleges.

The upside is that they are small, with small classes, lots of individual attention, and a broad, top-notch education easily comparable to the Ivy Leagues (avg. SAT and GPA at Swarthmore is roughly the same as Harvard et. al.). The main downside is that nobody has ever heard of them  :-\\


Joining in here....

Speaking of liberal arts, I am most likely going to change my major to liberal studies. I attend Cal State Northridge, where I was a Computer Science major for three years before deciding to switch direction. I thought of maybe majoring in math, since that's one of my strongest subjects, but this past semester I took a physics course which I struggled with (but passed with a C-), so I decided on liberal studies. I can use my computer science as a minor, since I've fulfilled that requirement.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 06/10/05 at 12:30 pm


I was always in love with men who were like 20 years older than me.  Okay, 10.  Okay, 8.  But none of them were ever younger...let alone pre-pubescent.


Although Orlando Bloom looks like a pre-pubescent girl in LOTR... but I guess that's not the same thing...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 06/10/05 at 12:36 pm


A liberal arts college is simply a small college (as opposed to a big university) consisting only of undergrads, and with a very broad cirriculum. Swarthmore, Amherst, Williams, Vassar, Carleton, Haverford, Middlebury and Bowdoin are at the top of the class for liberal arts colleges.

The upside is that they are small, with small classes, lots of individual attention, and a broad, top-notch education easily comparable to the Ivy Leagues (avg. SAT and GPA at Swarthmore is roughly the same as Harvard et. al.). The main downside is that nobody has ever heard of them  :-\\


Oh.  I still don't get it, but thanks for trying.  :D  I did see the ratio of faculty to student was 8:1 at Swarthmore...


Joining in here....

Speaking of liberal arts, I am most likely going to change my major to liberal studies. I attend Cal State Northridge, where I was a Computer Science major for three years before deciding to switch direction. I thought of maybe majoring in math, since that's one of my strongest subjects, but this past semester I took a physics course which I struggled with (but passed with a C-), so I decided on liberal studies. I can use my computer science as a minor, since I've fulfilled that requirement.


Wow, I did terrible in English, as I'm sure everyone here can tell.  I only got a 490 on the SAT..  Hence, I stuck with technical studies where I get along with the logic better.  I was top of the class in Physics... but well, you don't want to hear that.  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 06/10/05 at 1:43 pm


I was top of the class in Physics... but well, you don't want to hear that. ::)

Well I'm glad to know somebody did. ;) The class was primarily about mechanics.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/11/05 at 12:44 am


When I was about 16 or so, we all had a thing for the teenaged Brooke Sheilds. But she was hot, and -- more to the point -- she was OUR AGE. The Dakota Fanning thing is weird to the point of quasi-pedophilia.


Heyheyheyheyheyheyheyyyyyyyyy! Did I ever say that I 'had a thing' for Dakota Fanning? If you scroll back you will see that I said I adore her ACTING.


I frickin' adore her acting cuz she is SUCH a genius. Just picking up all of her nuances in simple acts like blinking or her focal point while she speaks absolutely puts the majority of adult actors to shame. Haley Joel Osment? HA!

See, right there. In the purple quotey thingy. I have no idea who that Dakota fan was, so I'll just blame them for everything.

Gee, I guess my 'make-your-own-South-Park-character' Michael Jackson avatar was a little ill-timed.
Click here to make your own! You have to save them with a screenshot (Alt+ PrintScreen) then paste in paint and size it down.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Manson.bmp http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Britney.bmp
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Encore.bmp http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/PeterPan.bmp
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/b95de634.bmp




Oh, and ditto for Brooke Shields. Rrrrowrrr.
Maggie Smith stills wins by a whisker, though. (Make that a chinful.)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/12/05 at 11:29 pm

This will truly make your day.
A site of postcards sent in that bare people's innermost secrets. Touching, funny, relatable, human.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Mistress Leola on 06/13/05 at 10:20 am


This will truly make your day.
A site of postcards sent in that bare people's innermost secrets. Touching, funny, relatable, human.


Interesting stuff.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 06/13/05 at 7:15 pm


Although Orlando Bloom looks like a pre-pubescent girl in LOTR... but I guess that's not the same thing...


...yeah.  I never should have come out of hiding.

I bring good news: we've conquered Iraq! 



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/13/05 at 9:18 pm

OK Leo, I bit. Nice Bush parody.

It's student vacation week. Me have free time looong time.

Hmmm, these WTF girls will take some time solving.
Kirsten Dunst and Anna Paquin... with braces?
Avril Lavigne and Jessica Alba... with braces?
Anna Kournikova and Bjork... with an actual head of hair... and braces?
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/MysteryAvatarGirlz.bmp

The nose and eyes look somehow familiar... could it be a Little Miss Loca...erson... with braces?
And, um, that chick from Scrubs.

I leave you now with a shot of my pal Tim. How is this man still stingle?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/16/05 at 3:51 am

Fully !

I went out of my way to work in this quote from Rawls in my Philosophy essay just to have two words ed in a row.
We're meant to spelling errors and all 'he', 'his' and 'man' useage for representing humankind.
Hence: "One excludes the knowledge of those contingencies which sets men at odds..."
*suh-wish*
And then I ed this blatant display of feministic chauvinism: "The veil of ignorance is an intuitive test of fairness, in the same way that we try to ensure a fair division of cake by making sure the person who cuts it does not know which piece she will get."
*subversive suh-wish*

In my last essay I used Marilyn Manson as a source relating to Nietzche's notion of 'God is Dead'. I also used suburbanhomeboy.com and the 'Red Man's Greed' South Park episode as examples of cultural subversions in Culture Studies. For my last Media Essay I attached an entire page of CNNNNesque headlines relating to the essay topic.
I really, REALLY pity my markers.

The Aussie Norah Jones: simply cuh-lick and listen to her entire album for free whilst you surf!
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Mythbusters.bmp

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 06/16/05 at 11:30 pm

Don't worry, I can translate:

"I'm failing out of college, mostly because I'm spending all my time composing for my online rap battles and creating new South Park characters.  Something about sic.  Listen to the Aussie Norah Jones!  Peace out, fooze."



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/17/05 at 12:00 am


Don't worry, I can translate:

"I'm failing out of college, mostly because I'm spending all my time composing for my online rap battles and creating new South Park characters.  Something about sic.  Listen to the Aussie Norah Jones!  Peace out, fooze."


...oh the irony. I won't even bother directing you all to the AmIRight South Park Gallery thread I've just spent the past two hours doing.

http://www.dairyfarmers.com.au/internet/images/products/M600Chocolate.gif

"You're OutFoxXxed, my smooth rhymes soothe you- Yours are just a groove.
Thrusting your c*** in a box of chocolate milk's the only way you'll bust a Moove."
-Nib Oswald to FoxXx

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/18/05 at 12:10 am

Star Wars: Gangsta Rap style! Use the force, Luke.

The singing's not that great but the Flash animation is just awesome for the final scene.
Solid chuckles at Yoda rapping.
"He told me enough, he told me you killed him!"
"Well, there's something that I must reveal, then.
I'm your father! I'm your father! I'm your father! I'm your father!"

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/SinCity.bmp
When's Sin City comin' out? It looks freakin' awesome, the whole Pleasantville-esque use of colour in film noir gives me comic-book shudders of anticipation.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/19/05 at 1:40 am

Dangnabbit! I did a bunch of these but they're too large to save as bmps and my 3 1/2 inch floppy just grinds away at the computer without loading whenever I try and change something. Anyhoo, I'll do captions below.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/LennoandCharlie.bmp

Lenno: Excuse me, sir, is that seat taken?
Charlie: Nope.
*pause*
Lenno: That's nice.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 06/19/05 at 9:31 am


Star Wars: Gangsta Rap style! Use the force, Luke.

The singing's not that great but the Flash animation is just awesome for the final scene.
Solid chuckles at Yoda rapping.
"He told me enough, he told me you killed him!"
"Well, there's something that I must reveal, then.
I'm your father! I'm your father! I'm your father! I'm your father!"

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/SinCity.bmp
When's Sin City comin' out? It looks freakin' awesome, the whole Pleasantville-esque use of colour in film noir gives me comic-book shudders of anticipation.


The Star Wars rap is one of my favorite videos of all time. I love "We got Death Star! We got Death Star!"

As for Sin City, it's already come and gone here in the states. I saw it twice, and it was pretty good, though unbelievably violent. I made the mistake of taking my dad to see it with me the first time  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 06/19/05 at 9:32 am


my 3 1/2 inch floppy just grinds away at the computer


I knew it all along...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 06/19/05 at 11:25 am

"I'm Yoooo-da, I'm a soooo-ja!"  Hoo, priceless. 

The beginning of "Anakin Dynamite" is also quite amusing -

"Hey Anakin, what did you do last summer?"
"I told you, I spent it at Tatooine hunting Tuskan raiders!"
"Didja kill any?"
"...yes.  Like fifty of'em.  They kidnapped my mom, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?"
"What'd you use?"
"A freakin' lightsaber what do you THINK?"

Some amazing animation done on "One Season More" (and a very, very talented singer), but RUBBER DUCKIN' CHEESY. I almost gagged on my own vomit; luckily, I was able to drink it down as usual. 

More! More! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 06/19/05 at 12:18 pm

Well if we're talking about Star Wars parody, we can't leave out this gem. It's an oldie but a goodie. **NOTE** Only the nerdy need proceed!

Star Wars trailer with l33t gamer subtitles: http://chaos.battlecenter.net/starwarssub.wmv

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 06/19/05 at 12:57 pm


Well if we're talking about Star Wars parody, we can't leave out this gem. It's an oldie but a goodie. **NOTE** Only the nerdy need proceed!

Star Wars trailer with l33t gamer subtitles: http://chaos.battlecenter.net/starwarssub.wmv


I counted how many times I rofled, and that was a solid six during that one.  What a find - thanks, Charlie!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/19/05 at 9:21 pm

OK, I've been Star Warsed for the past hour now. I'm going to have to watch the earlyfilms again, I was about six when I first saw them. Same with LOTR and WarHammer. I was totally out of the loop with all of my nerdy associates during early high school going on about orcs and whatnot. LOL for the compl33t ad, Anakin Dynamite needed music instead of silence and dittos for the song. I also liked the Bamboo animation.

Me last night:
5pm: Righto, time to go home and study for that English exam tomorrow.
5:30pm: I hate having to walk this far every day. Oh well. I'll just have a snack and veg out a bit so I won't be distracted during my study.
6pm: OK, time to hit the- oh, what's that? Guardians home, going out to their friends' place for dinner. Oh, there'll always be time to study when I get home.
(Anecdote: We wentto their friends' place at the start of the year and they had a giant slobbery Rottweiler called Rugger. Hence my mix-up with 'Bugger' et al)
8pm: That was a nice dinner. Good to catch up with Lachlan again before he heads off overseas with his school choir. What's that? (yes, I say 'what's that?' all the time) Oh, I'm sure a few minutes on the XBox couldn't hurt.
9pm: OK, enough Xbox. WHAT'S THAT? You have a stick figure animation program on your computer?
10pm: Right. I'd better start dropping hints about hwo I need to study. *is handed 3 season's worth of Family Guy on DVD* *cries*
11pm: Right. Finally home. Studystudystudy.
11:02pm: Booooring. Set your alarm for early tomorrow, get up and cram. Nothing like getting back into your high school study regime to prepare you for an exam.
6am: *pounds alarm*
8:30am: *drowsy realisation of imminent doom* Rushrusheateatdressdressbrushbrushcramcramcramcrambreakitdownnow.
9:19am: *arrive with seconds to spare*
11am: *exit exam room, ready to do two essays by tomorrow, whilst simultaneously cramming fo rtwo exams on Wednesday*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 06/23/05 at 4:26 pm

Star Wars vids?  Gotta pass these ones on, then...

http://windspireentertainment.com/download.php?list.2

My personal favourite is Fett's Vette (there's 2 versions listed- the one not credited as "MC Chris" is myfavourite of the two, since it's entirely music video - the 2nd is partly live performance).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 06/23/05 at 9:52 pm

Campoo - the ostentatious shampoo for the dromedary who knows what he wants. 

That is all. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/23/05 at 10:55 pm

Phil Alexander almost got it right: Me Own Shampoo

For the ostentatious lover of dromedary podiatry:
http://www.funduel.com/pics/20050116230040Camel_Toe_Weekly.jpg

By the way... oh my GAWD! *becomes more green and phallus-shaped-vegetable-shaped*
I left here mere minutes before your arrival to go battle rapping and then saw the new TGS, and returned to your new TGS avatar.
That is wack. Wiggidy wack.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/TGS.bmp

Oh, and this WAS generally intended for a Mongoloid who knows what she wants:
Kung foo'

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/25/05 at 12:22 am

As a studious Media Studies student *snort* I perused this week's Sydney Morning Herald. (Probably the most popular Australian newspaper, hence equating to about 1/30,000th the audience of the New York Times.)

Two-page article on Sin City
Strong Sad would be endeared to learn that the female characters are 'lovingly rendered in chiaroscuro'.
Funny, I have some vague recollection of anticipating Sin City as a cinematographic success about a week ago...

Review of Jem's album
'Streetwise... the new Dido.'
Funny, I have some vague recollection of gushing about how great Jem's 'They' clip was several weeks ago...

Article on Dakota Fanning
"Dakota's a combination of Judy Garland and Meryl Streep."
Funny, I have some vague recollection of commenting on Dakota Fanning's acting brilliance a few months ago...

Front page article on AZN gorgeousness
'Eurasian features are of the type rated attractive by Westerners and Asians... associated with beauty.'
Funny... I have some vague recollection of having a huge crush on Emma Lung about a year ago... 
She's in the Aussie art film 'Peaches' and will be in 'House Of Wax' next year...
And has the aforementioned Eurasian features...
...and, yeah...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/LungandWeaving.bmp
Elrond chooses love over immortality.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: K1chyd on 06/27/05 at 11:26 am

Congrats Australia, for the first time in like ten-fifteen years the heaviest metal band ever is coming your way, so lock up your daughters (don't give Luke the key) and get your tickets to see Motorhead!

(I just thought I should let you know, since it's such a rare opportunity down under)

Dec 3/05 Sydney, Australia Entertainment Centre
Dec 4/05 Brisbane, Australia Entertainment Centre
Dec 6/05 Melbourne, Australia Vodafone Arena
Dec 8/05 Adelaide, Australia Entertainment Centre

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/28/05 at 12:13 am

At 4:30am this morning, US Defense Forces seized a large shipment of necromantics intending to be imported and sold to children already addicted to the products at exuberant prices.
For photographs of the seized merchandise, click here.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 06/28/05 at 12:35 am



Campoo - the ostentatious shampoo for the dromedary who knows what he wants. 



Now available in veterinarian-approved Anti-Bactrianial version, too.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/28/05 at 1:39 am

Now that was just artiotactless.
;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 06/28/05 at 10:42 pm


Now available in veterinarian-approved Anti-Bactrianial version, too.


Ah, but you crack me up, Mr. D.  Literally.  I need some Olay Quench body lotion!  My skin is so dry lately due to the medicines I be taking.  If I should ever take off my shirt and wear ripped shorts, I'm pretty sure I'd look like a female version of The Thing.

Speaking of which, does anyone else think Jessica Alba is the world's biggest pile?  They chose her to play the Invisible Woman.  Double-u. Tee.  Eff.  No way am I shelling out eight dollars to watch her fly around with her single facial expression.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/28/05 at 10:45 pm


Ah, but you crack me up, Mr. D.  Literally.  I need some Olay Quench body lotion!  My skin is so dry lately due to the medicines I be taking.  If I should ever take off my shirt and wear ripped shorts, I'm pretty sure I'd look like a female version of The Thing.

Speaking of which, does anyone else think Jessica Alba is the world's biggest pile?  They chose her to play the Invisible Woman.  Double-u. Tee.  Eff.  No way am I shelling out eight dollars to watch her fly around with her single facial expression.


Don't worry, you won't be able to see it, silly!

...wait, you were saying something about topless with ripped shorts?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/29/05 at 12:13 am

ANSWERS TO THOSE LAMEASS EMAIL QUIZZES

What is your living arrangement? Um, I DON'T DIE.
What is your favorite color? That's spelled 'favourite colour', you freakin' Yank. Go fellate a Big Mac.
What are your #1 priorities in life? Not getting it on the seat.

Do you...
Pray? Only on small mammals.
Go to church? Do not collect $200.
Take walks in the rain? Yeah, but I give them back afterwards.
Drive? "That depends. What sort of drive are you talking about?" -Hugh Jackman, "Peaches" (2004)

Have you ever...
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? Boy, if I ever let out that my brother was born with two penises... whoops.
Hurt yourself? Yes, and I promised myself I'd never hurt myself like that again! *begins wailing and hugs self in reconcile*
Played strip poker? Yeah, I've seen a few two-pairs in my day... and a Queen...
Pulled an all nighter? If 'pulled an all-nighter' means what I think it means... then, YES!
(If yes, what is your record?) I was unravelling those rolls of dental floss for 32 hours straight.
Been betrayed? PERRRDUUUCI!!! (click)
MENNNDOOOZAAA!!!
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/MENDOZAAAA.jpg

Have you ever killed an animal by accident? No, by mallet.
Purposefully? Yes, I killed the entire porpoise.
Had a nervous breakdown? It was lucky that the guy behind me had jumper leads.
Had a dream that kept coming back? Yes. I shouldn't have given it a bite of my sandwich in the first place...

Do you believe in...
Life on other planets? Well, HUL-LO!
Miracles? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Where you from... you sexy thang? (You sexy thang, you!)
Magic? Shut up! Harry Potter is real! Stop picking on me and my cool Hogwarts friends! I'm telling on you! Waaaah!
God? Thankfully there's SOMEONE who understands my frequency.
               *cut to God wearing headphones*
               God: "Sheesh. What was I thinking?" 

Love at first sight? That should be 'Love at first encounter.' Blind people have feelings too, ya know.
Yin and yang (that good can't exist without evil?) (That musicians not talented enough to rap properly just whisper for five minutes and call it a song?) Um, no.
Witches? Muuum! They're insinutating that Hermione isn't real, again!
The Easter Bunny? A rabbit that lays multicoloured eggs... if that isn't the most messed-up message for kids regarding the rebirth of Christ, I don't what is. Oh, and how can I forget that we make them EAT THE F***ING RABBIT.
Remaining faithful forever? I dunno, I'll never be able to listen to MJ's albums the same way again...
A pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? I'd settle for the pot.
Wishing on stars? "Marry me, Orlando!" *smoochsmoochsmoochsmooch* You're pathetic, Bec. Pathetic!
Organised religion? "Oh for the love of... John Paul left these files in a shambles!"
                                  "Crap, was I meant to give a sermon this morning?"
                                  "Has anyone seen my crucifix? I can't find my crucifix!"
                                  "darnit, Father, where's that memo I asked for last week?"

What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? "This piece of advice I'm giving you is worthless. Please ignore it."
What's your favourite inside joke?  Okay, okay... ahem, "Which side of Roseanne Barr is her thinnest? Her inside!" Ha!
Why would you get picked on? Due to my high content of precious gemstones.
Who did you last talk to? Myself.
                                          No you didn't.
                                          Yes, I did! Shut up!
                                          No, you shut up!
                                          Hey, I said shut up first!
                                          Look, everyone just shut up!
                                          ...
                                          ... who said that?

Out of your friends, who's the best singer? I guess Bec singes pretty well when you extinguish cigarettes on her face.
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? What, we're meant to think first?
Who's your second family? I can't remember, they were only around for a second.
Do you always feel understood? Freeble blax quafgjahgipug. Phabooey nibnib? Glop!

Love and all that...
What do you find romantic? Duh, the Romans.
Turn-on? Oh, now I can see.
Turn-off? Oh, everything's dark again.
If someone who you had no interest in had interest in dating you, how would you feel? ...um, disinterested. You need to think these questions through, idiot!
Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out: I don't think it would make ANY difference for me. Or gay couples! *baddoom tccchhh!*
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? You can't argue with science, I've got 20/20 vision. You can't look good-er than that!
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? Greedily keeping their breasts to themselves. Shame on you all! You should share with those who go without! 
What's the last present someone gave you? Tense.
Are you in love? Only if... I mean, erm... it wouldn't be the... with the... thing... y... and factoring in... freeble blax... quafgjahgipug...

Who was the last person to...
Haunt you? Gwen Stefani. I haven't been able to escape that fricking song in weeks.
Make you feel good? Gorillaz.
Make you cry? Li'l Brudder
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/LilBrudder.bmp

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: K1chyd on 06/29/05 at 3:03 pm


Love at first sight? That should be 'Love at first encounter.' Blind people have feelings too, ya know.


Too many good lines to quote so I'll settle for the one above, and add this (feel free to answer it if you like):

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 06/29/05 at 8:22 pm


If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


Because it's just so comfortable to wear.
...oh, drat! You got me there!

Anyhoo, I recently solved another niggle-in-the-back-of-brain that me and my brother had after watching Eminem's 'Just Lose It' video... we both found that the teenybopping backup dancer seemed so familiar but couldn't place her face.
Then it clicked, she's been in a heap of Missy Elliott video clips as well as 'Cheaper By The Dozen'.
And I just adore her chipmunk-voiced songs, especially 'Shake It, Shake It!'
"Now walk it off... "

Oh, and I hear they've finished filming 'Charlotte's Web' in Melbourne. What a cast: Robert Redford, Julia Roberts, Oprah, Andre 3000 (from OutKast), John Cleese, Kathy Bates, Steve Buscemi, Cedric The Entertainer, Jennifer Garner and, of course, the adowwable Dakota. I think 'Charlotte's Web' was the first 'chapter book' I ever read, back in Year Two. Prior to that it was 'Brer Rabbit' and MAD Magazines.
I've currently outgrown Brer Rabbit.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/02/05 at 4:50 am

Nice rescue mission, Alex.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/LukeAlexyelling.bmp

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 07/02/05 at 1:57 pm


As a studious Media Studies student *snort* I perused this week's Sydney Morning Herald. (Probably the most popular Australian newspaper, hence equating to about 1/30,000th the audience of the New York Times.)

Article on Dakota Fanning
"Dakota's a combination of Judy Garland and Meryl Streep."
Funny, I have some vague recollection of commenting on Dakota Fanning's acting brilliance a few months ago...


Hmm.. saw War of the Worlds today... she may look a little freaky, but she can convey emotion well.  Especially if that particular emotion involves lots of screaming.  I'm sure she came close to shattering the lenses on the projector a few times   :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/05/05 at 1:28 am

I'm fresh out of the cinema from War of the Worlds. Great film. When David gives a film 4.5 stars, it's bound to be above the norm. Pity about the moronic audience I was with. I was the only one who laughed at the lines:
Rachel: "I'm allergic to peanut butter."
Ray: "Since when?"
Rachel: "...birth." due to its brutal implications of Ray's failed fatherhood, whereas the audience laughed at:
Rachel: "Is it the terrorists?" which I thought conveyed a realistic reaction of any American kid experiencing giant explosions.
SPOILER:
The ending was clever, but throughout the film I was questioning what an amazing coincidence it was that the aliens were able to exist within Earth's atmosphere, breathed oxygen at our particular pressure and didn't die from viruses or bacteria when it has been historically evident that even humans cannot interact without passing on deadly diseases, such as European settlement in Australia wiping out numerous Aborigines with influenza.

Taken: More Spielberg/Fanning action starts tonight.
Sin City: coming out the day after my birthday.
Harry Potter 6: coming out three days after my birthday.
My brother: inevitably coming out sometime before August.

Oooh, a mystical, AmIRight-shirt-sized package arrived at home this morning via France. I haven't been home in almost 7 months, so can't wait to get back and into my new parody-y attire.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: K1chyd on 07/05/05 at 5:30 am


I'm fresh out of the cinema from War of the Worlds. Great film. When David gives a film 4.5 stars, it's bound to be above the norm. Pity about the moronic audience I was with. I was the only one who laughed at the lines:
Rachel: "I'm allergic to peanut butter."
Ray: "Since when?"
Rachel: "...birth." due to its brutal implications of Ray's failed fatherhood, whereas the audience laughed at:
Rachel: "Is it the terrorists?" which I thought conveyed a realistic reaction of any American kid experiencing giant explosions.


The most reliable movie reviews site I know of is Mr Cranky, there's never any pampering with plotholes and/or mediocre acting there, WHSIWWG (What He Sees Is What We Get):

Here's his take on this particular movie:
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/waroftheworlds.html

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: K1chyd on 07/05/05 at 5:34 am


The most reliable movie reviews site I know of is Mr Cranky, there's never any pampering with plotholes and/or mediocre acting there, WHSIWWG (What He Sees Is What We Get):

Here's his take on this particular movie:
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/waroftheworlds.html


If this link gives you trouble it might be because it add things to the URL, check there and remove what's after "html"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/06/05 at 3:13 am


If this link gives you trouble it might be because it add things to the URL, check there and remove what's after "html"


Mass LOL on the 'Error' page and even more Mass LOLing at the review: "Dakota Fanning's in the role (which I suspect she landed only after Katie Holmes passed)."
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/WarOfTheWorlds.jpg
"We have you surrounded! Put down your bride and get on the ground!"

The aforementioned David gave Team America half a star, the doddery old past-heard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/06/05 at 5:38 am

Ahem.
On behalf of my boys' school bretheren:
RUGBYRUGBYRUGBY!!!
Push 'em back, push 'em back, waaaaay back!
Get off it, ref!
Hit 'im hard, Minichiello! Caaarn!
Ruckruckruckruck!
Booyah! Smash him!
RUGBYRUGBYRUGBY!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Claude_Prez on 07/06/05 at 6:30 am



SPOILER:
The ending was clever, but throughout the film I was questioning what an amazing coincidence it was that the aliens were able to exist within Earth's atmosphere, breathed oxygen at our particular pressure and didn't die from viruses or bacteria when it has been historically evident that even humans cannot interact without passing on deadly diseases, such as European settlement in Australia wiping out numerous Aborigines with influenza.


SPOILER:

Yeah, what bothered me is why the h*ll would you bury sh*t on a planet millions of years before it's inhabited just so you could make a dramatic entrance when you take it over?  So the movie would be scarier, that's why.  I chuckled at the peanut butter line.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/06/05 at 7:04 pm

WELCOME TO SPOILER CENTRAL:
LOL, Claude! Also, the opening narration claimed that they were 'intelligences greater than our own', yet they hadn't factored in the possibility of disease, when it was something humans were aware of hundreds of years ago? Also, when the eye descends to search the basement, it's movements are not that of a great intellect. It is mathematically logical in a maze-like structure to simply stick to a wall and keep going in one direction in order to make sure you've covered all ground. And surely these great intellects would have thought of thermal imaging or something rather than a camera on a hose. Then again, as you said, the Chamber-of-Secrets-esque python scene was much more dramatic.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 07/06/05 at 8:41 pm

In future, please use 2-point for your spoilers, Luke and Claude - my glasses are very powerful

(thanks for giving away the whole story, fellers - guess I'll just tear up these tickets my 10-year-old daughter gave me for  being such a great dad, now  >:(  )

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/08/05 at 10:12 pm

No need for that. We didn't spoil the bit about how Dakota Fanning actually turns out to be the leader of the aliens.
...whoopsydoodle.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 07/08/05 at 11:21 pm



No need for that. We didn't spoil the bit about how Dakota Fanning actually turns out to be the leader of the aliens.
...whoopsydoodle.



* sticky-taping tickets back together *

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/10/05 at 8:08 pm


* sticky-taping tickets back together *


LOL!

'I Am Sam' was on TV last night. There were a load of inconsitencies regarding the programs for handicapped parents (surely it wouldn't have taken seven years before something went wrong and the authorities recognised the situation) but the acting was brilliant. The other handicapped characters were so adorably hilarious, especially in the answering machine scene.
"I really felt the emotion in that message."

And out of over 1700 entries, I got TWO of my Potter captions in this week. Hoorah! (I'm #3 and #5.)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/11/05 at 12:09 am

Eureka! Another frosm solved! ('Frosm' is my word for that sensation where your brain fogs over in thought... like when you're trying to think of a word and you can describe all of the meanings and emotions associated with that word and still not remember the freakin' word... also relating to not being able to pick which previous film you recognise an actor from.)

Dorfman! The kid from The Ring 2 (and, ironically, the first 'The Ring') was that creepy buck-toothed urchin from Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 07/11/05 at 12:24 am


Eureka! Another frosm solved! ('Frosm' is my word for that sensation where your brain fogs over in thought... like when you're trying to think of a word and you can describe all of the meanings and emotions associated with that word and still not remember the freakin' word... also relating to not being able to pick which previous film you recognise an actor from.)

Dorfman! The kid from The Ring 2 (and, ironically, the first 'The Ring') was that creepy buck-toothed urchin from Texas Chainsaw Massacre!


my daily life is fraught with frosms - (I'm gonna use that)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/12/05 at 7:52 pm

IIII'll say! I woke up this morning with strange impulses to drink, smoke, gamble, marry, vote in an election and buy all of Eminem CDs. (ha!)

I can't for the life of me think why...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Apricot on 07/15/05 at 12:26 pm


IIII'll say! I woke up this morning with strange impulses to drink, smoke, gamble, marry, vote in an election and buy all of Eminem CDs. (ha!)

I can't for the life of me think why...


I've never had those impulses... maybe you're coming down with something.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/18/05 at 2:34 am


I've never had those impulses... maybe you're coming down with something.


The last shower.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/19/05 at 2:28 am

Warner Bros has sacked Daniel Radcliffe from his role as Harry Potter after scientists projected what he will look like by the time filming for The Half-Blood Prince commences.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/PATTO.jpg

(My friend Andrew, who was clean-shaven when I left for university...)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 07/19/05 at 7:14 am



(My friend Andrew...)



Australiana police:  ahem, "My mate Andrew..."

okay carry on...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: adagio on 07/20/05 at 2:41 pm


Eureka! Another frosm solved! ('Frosm' is my word for that sensation where your brain fogs over in thought... like when you're trying to think of a word and you can describe all of the meanings and emotions associated with that word and still not remember the freakin' word... also relating to not being able to pick which previous film you recognise an actor from.)



Thanks, Luke!  A handy word to have around.  I think I had that sensation today while trying to pick out a certain word to fit a certain emotion on a parody.  Drove me crazy.  At least I think I have the right word..it fits anyway.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: adagio on 07/21/05 at 6:09 am

Luke... ;D  Now two more words to remember.  (love your example)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/21/05 at 6:18 am

Woah... at work I served this guy who was after some obscure nursery item. (I'm not in the nursery section and was plucked from my comfortable books/stationery/kids toys/girls toys area as I was the closest guy around.) I couldn't find what he needed.
He made me go in the back and check.
'The back' is about 120 square metres.
I talked to people in 'the back'... they said we couldn't offload certain stock due to stocktake reasons.
I relayed this information to the guy.
He badgered me to go back and negotiate to get it anyway.
I want back to 'the back' and was told to say he should come back in a week or so.
I relayed this information to the guy.
He left disgruntledly.


My point? HE LOOKED UNCANNILY LIKE JOHNNY D!!! :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/23/05 at 2:22 am

...Harry Potter?
...Dakota Fanning?
...'Emmys'?
A must read!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Harry.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/23/05 at 10:14 pm


...Harry Potter?
...Dakota Fanning?
...'Emmys'?
A must read!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Harry.jpg


Emmys, eh?  Is that like Multiple Intelligences? 

...that was not funny.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/23/05 at 10:22 pm

I guess not.

There's a chair there, Emi.
See?
The chair?
You see the nice little chair over there?
Why don't you go sit down?
That's it, sit down. Now.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/25/05 at 5:51 pm


I guess not.

Oh yeah, and your little suicidal vagina thing...good one.  Did you get that from Jay Leno or are you really that pathetic? 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 07/25/05 at 5:54 pm

I haven't been on the boards for a while...good to see that the old married couple are still young and in love. Ah, kids...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/25/05 at 8:31 pm

Oh, cram it gramps! Why don't you go snog your new lover girl, Hilary-h8er.


Oh yeah, and your little suicidal vagina thing...good one. Did you get that from Jay Leno or are you really that pathetic?


...Letterman.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 07/25/05 at 9:02 pm


Oh, cram it gramps! Why don't you go snog your new lover girl, Hilary-h8er.


Do people actually say 'snog'? I thought it was a potter-ism, like Muggle, Quidditch, Avada Kedavra or Prime Minister...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/25/05 at 9:34 pm

Hmm... snog is usually reserved for the Ron-esque technique where copious amounts of saliva are involved and the two make 'snork' noises as they try to breathe as their noses are mashed together. More commonly used is 'pash' and 'making out' is a fav-IS THAT A KOALA IN YOUR AVATAR?!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 07/26/05 at 3:01 am


Do people actually say 'snog'? I thought it was a potter-ism, like Muggle, Quidditch, Avada Kedavra or Prime Minister...


Maybe it's a Britishism?

Not a word I use every day but it has featured in my vocabulary from time to time.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 07/26/05 at 6:20 am


Hmm... snog is usually reserved for the Ron-esque technique where copious amounts of saliva are involved and the two make 'snork' noises as they try to breathe as their noses are mashed together. More commonly used is 'pash' and 'making out' is a fav-IS THAT A KOALA IN YOUR AVATAR?!!


Never heard 'pash'...'hooking up' or 'making out' is standard here in the States.

As for the avatar, yes it is a koala, and if you don't make with the beef consumption he is going 'Down Under' alright...INTO MY BELLY!

"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf. Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head."
-The late great Mitch Hedberg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 07/26/05 at 10:24 am


Never heard 'pash'...'hooking up' or 'making out' is standard here in the States.



Would never ever say 'making out'.  That is so American

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Alchoholica on 07/26/05 at 12:03 pm


Would never ever say 'making out'.  That is so American


It's about as low as 'Getting Off' (which means something else in most lands) but not quite as bad as 'Got 5 minutes pet' ::)


Prime Minister...


That was just a joke us Englishers took to far a few years ago, it started off perfectly innocent.. and before you know it we had..

http://www.thewomenslibrary.ac.uk/images/exhib/Margaret%20Thatcher%20Longest%20serving%20PM.jpg

At least we all know what Henry Winkler has been doing all these years.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/27/05 at 1:01 pm

Oh, why don't you all go get an Iron Maiden. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/27/05 at 7:36 pm

Well, I'm certainly in the mood after that scintillating Thatcher pic!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/31/05 at 12:38 pm

As much sense as that makes, that makes no sense. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Ansky1213 on 07/31/05 at 5:26 pm

So I went to a Dave Matthews concert yesterday...it was on Randalls Island (just off Manhattan), and about 32000 people showed up. My best friend and I were on the GA "lawn", in what would have been the 3rd row out of a couple thousand if there were rows. By the time it was over, I had been standing for seven hours straight, I was filthy, and exhausted. But Dave was awesome! The place went nuts when Trey Anastasio came out and jamed with Dave for a couple of songs.

I was there for 12 hours in total. The Barenaked Ladies (my favorites) opened for DMB, and Robert Randolph opened for them, and J.E.M. opened for them, and Mike Doughty opened for them. It was a real carnival atmosphere. However, by the time it was over, I resolved that I was never going to partake in an event in which I needed to stand for more than 45 minutes consecutively again.

A mother of a friend, who also was at the concert, got me and my best friend food and water when it was impossible for us to move, or we would lose our seats. Like I mentioned, we were at the very front of the lawn, and she was in the reserved seats right in front of us. She handed the food to the security guard patrolling the no mans' land between us, and also brought him some water. It was the greatest  :)

Any other Dave fans or concert stories around?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/31/05 at 6:54 pm

Charlie, I cannot possibly match up to your story. I would have LOVED to be there, though...DMB is just too excellent! 

But I will try.

I went to a jazz concert on the huge lawn of the city art museum, and there were not a thousand rows.  Rather, there was not a single patch of green on the entire lawn, and I had to stand up for a mere 4 hours.  About fifty people decided to jump up next to the band and start swing dancing, though.  An extremely talented homeless man asked me to join him, and because we were cutting so much rug, we ended on the front page of the newspaper.

AND I GOT A PUP-PEEEEE!
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/abby2.jpg

...you win, Charlie.  For now. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/31/05 at 10:59 pm


Yes, I can see the pup-pee trickling down the arm.


Oh, bah.  I saw that coming three years ago.

But isn't it the cutest pup-pee you've ever seen? 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/31/05 at 11:06 pm

Yes. Cute puppy.
Is now a bad time to say that I returned to my guardians last night just after their dog had died from a cancerous liver bleeding into her spleen?

...I'll just go post my Hairy Potted quotes in the other thread now.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/31/05 at 11:08 pm


Is now a bad time to say that I returned to my guardians last night just after their dog had died from a cancerous liver bleeding into her spleen?

...I'll just go post my Hairy Potted quotes in the other thread now.


Yes. 

Yes it is. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 07/31/05 at 11:19 pm

Good, cuz I was just about to take my guardians' healthy border collie for a jog around the block.
Jog around the block.
Jog around the block.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/31/05 at 11:28 pm


Good, cuz I was just about to take my guardians' healthy border collie for a jog around the block.
Jog around the block.
Jog around the block.


*Charlie Brown AUGH!'d*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 07/31/05 at 11:46 pm


*Footrot Flats 'Wallace's-feet-stuck-either-side-of-an-electric-fence-in-sinking-mud' EYE BULGE'd*


Yum.  Eye bulges. 

What did you have for dinner today?  Or last night?  Or tomorrow? 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/01/05 at 12:10 am

I was stuffed stupid by my nonna (as usual) with her regular 3-course heapings of roast chicken and potatoes followed by gnocci/minestrone/other obscure Italian pasta and then squid and prawns. Basically she sees me as a means of emptying the week's left overs before I left to get back to uni.

It's only 3:10pm. I have dinner at 3:45pm, STUPID.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/01/05 at 12:14 am


It's only 3:10pm. I have dinner at 3:45pm, STUPID.


Your...nonna?  Like...nonnaburgers?!?  :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/01/05 at 12:28 am

1. Why'd you quote the part that had no relevance to your reply?
2. nonnaburgers? Que?! She usually sticks with hotdogs and mustard. You bustard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/01/05 at 12:30 am


2. nonnaburgers? Que?! She usually sticks with hotdogs and mustard. You bustard.


1. It's all the rage in London, you trend-unconcious other hemisphere'd kangaroo. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/01/05 at 12:35 am


* sticky-taping tickets back together *


Really? Shove over on that bandwagon.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/01/05 at 1:36 am



Really? Shove over on that bandwagon.



don't drag me into this...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/01/05 at 2:27 am

Oh, come on! I'm exhausted here!
She's an 'all nighter', this one...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/01/05 at 3:29 am



Oh, come on! I'm exhausted here!
She's an 'all nighter', this one...



.............................................(sigh) der, okay, Fred, if you really think Betty and Wilma won't find out :(






Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/01/05 at 11:29 pm


Why was the scenario that just popped into my head?

I somehow lost fifty bucks from my wallet somewhere between the ATM downstairs and the uni bookshop up the stairs.

Me. am. urinated.


I somehow found fifty bucks somewhere between the ATM downstair and the uni bookshop up the stairs. 

Me. am. keeping. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/02/05 at 3:11 am

Go buy some extra-absorbent towelettes for that puppee of yours.

By the way, that perfectly healthy dog I mentioned earlier was buried yesterday... in a WHITE TOMB.

(As opposed to where my face was buried yesterday... in a tight womb. Mmmmm. Pinemaple glaaaze.)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/02/05 at 8:35 am


Go buy some extra-absorbent towelettes for that puppee of yours.

By the way, that perfectly healthy dog I mentioned earlier was buried yesterday... in a WHITE TOMB.

(As opposed to where my face was buried yesterday... in a tight womb. Mmmmm. Pinemaple glaaaze.)


Wipe that Clemence Poesy off your face this instant. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/02/05 at 9:30 pm

*clap. clap. clap. clap. clap.*


By the way, you've still got a bit of O.J. on your lip. :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/03/05 at 1:59 am


*clap. clap. clap. clap. clap.*


By the way, you've still got a bit of O.J. on your lip. :P


OHHHHHH... >:(

...klahoma. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/03/05 at 3:17 am

*withholds Krums/bedsheets comment*

Oklahoma? Ouch, that's even worse than Nashville!
Sorry, I had no idea... I mean, yeesh... give a guy some warning...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/03/05 at 11:24 pm


*withholds Krums/bedsheets comment*

Oklahoma? Ouch, that's even worse than Nashville!
Sorry, I had no idea... I mean, yeesh... give a guy some warning...


WARNING!  WARNING!  WARNING!  WARNING!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/03/05 at 11:31 pm

... muah? :-*


'We Can Be Heroes' slots in just under 'Little Britain' on my Urine List: a 'Drop Dead Gorgeous'-like mockumentary of finding the Australian of the Year. It's been a long while since there was any quality Aussie comedy on TV, and most of this was improvised.
(some coarse language in these excerpts)
cancel exit cancel exit cancel exit cancel exit...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Daniel.jpg
Daniel: Nominated for donating his eardrum to his slightly-retard deaf twin brother Nathan.
Deafness
Chicks love spastics
Koala farming

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Jamie.jpg
Ja'mie: Sponsors 85 Sudanese children and fasts 40 hours a week to raise money for charity... and look hot.
Wall of sponsorees
Occult outtake

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Pat.jpg
Pat: Born with one leg shorter than the other, she developed an ability for rolling. She plans to roll from Perth to Uluru.
Pat & Hubby
The roll plan

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Ricky.jpg
Ricky: Invented efficient solar panels, but his passion is in the Chinese Musical Group's Aboriginal production, 'Indigeridoo'.
Lionel Ritchie song
Indigeridoo song

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Phil.jpg
Phil: Rescued nine children from an unsecured jumping castle before high winds blew it into overhead powerlines.
Good parenting

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: AdamEcc on 08/06/05 at 5:41 pm

Oh dear...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/07/05 at 11:51 pm

Last night I was at a party at Milson's Point (in other words, right on the waterfront with a Harbour Bridge view.) Among the small gathering there was Laurence Field.
As you can see from  here, he got:
1st in the state for Classical Greek Continuers
1st in the state for Classical Greek Extension
1st in the state for Latin Continuers
1st in the state for Latin Extension
3rd in the state for Physics
4th in the state for Mathematics Extension 2
11th in Advanced English (out of 27000)
and over 90 for Advanced Mathematics and Mathematics Extension 1.

In other words, the highest UAI score EVER.
So yeah, that's the sort of crowd I mingle with on a weekend... ;D

Golly gee whillikers!
Back in Year 8 I had a giant crush on a girl who came over to our school for drama classes. Now she's on TV each week in skimpy bikinis, seen below on the far left.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/KateBell.jpg

*rests hand in iced water*


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/08/05 at 1:14 am

I was impressed until I read



in the state



so, that's just New South Wales then....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/08/05 at 1:26 am

Ahem.

HIGHEST. UAI. EVER.

That's from a crop of 60,000 or so students a year for the past whatever years.
(And we all know the New South Welsh defecate on Victorians.)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/08/05 at 6:13 am



That's from a crop of 60,000 or so students



so, that's from 60,000 NSW students then....

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/09/05 at 12:17 am

>:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/09/05 at 9:38 am

:)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/09/05 at 9:46 am

wait, wait I can do this too.

  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 08/09/05 at 12:01 pm

;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/10/05 at 12:38 am

Ooh, this is fun!
;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/10/05 at 3:22 am

:-\\ if this is a good thing or not

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/10/05 at 7:54 am


hey guys, just got me some new shades...
8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/10/05 at 7:54 pm

Aha! I whip them off you, leaving your eyes blinded in the harsh sunlight!
:o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/10/05 at 10:46 pm

aaargh, now I'm blind! - and I can't see where the tap is!  -  so I haven't had a drink of water for 7 days!!!

but what's that I feel on my face?? 

Rain!!

so how do I get me some?

hmm, maybe if I just try to catch some drops on my tongue...

:P



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/10/05 at 11:23 pm

Whoops, I drank so much rain I'm full!
:\'(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Scathe on 08/11/05 at 12:57 am

:D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/11/05 at 1:25 am


:D


...ooh, that was low. Totally below the belt, man.
This thread should be a place where anyone can visit without having to be exposed to such despicable comments as that!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/11/05 at 8:06 am



anyone can visit without having to be exposed



:o................................. :-[


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/11/05 at 8:15 am

this is waht I am going to do if someone else replies with just a smiley

http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/angry/cussing.gif

:D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: someone else on 08/11/05 at 9:50 am

:-*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/11/05 at 10:09 am


http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/angry/cussing.gif

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: someone else on 08/11/05 at 10:48 am

:o wow, you really meant it



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/11/05 at 10:51 am

I do not joke about things like that

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/12/05 at 2:04 am

Oh, so I guess my ROFLMAO was a bit out of order there...  :-[

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/12/05 at 3:29 am

I meant I had promised to do it so I did.  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/12/05 at 3:31 am

No, no, don't try and talk me out of it, I've started this hearty sulk of shame and I'm seeing it all the way through!
:-[

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/12/05 at 3:32 am

.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/12/05 at 4:15 am

I edit my crappy mistakes too quickly.
Nice pout, kazza!

:-X
(we haven't used this fella in a while)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: GoodRedShirt on 08/12/05 at 4:25 am

8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/12/05 at 4:54 am

.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/12/05 at 5:15 am

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Emiwithpupurine.jpg

I just sorted through...
50 noses
100 mouths
150 eyes
400 shoes
625 tops
650 pants
and a whopping 825 hairdos, including Astro-boy, Elvis, Scream masks and giant animal headwear.

What a fun, fun site!


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jaytee on 08/12/05 at 7:08 am


... muah? :-*


'We Can Be Heroes' slots in just under 'Little Britain' on my Urine List: a 'Drop Dead Gorgeous'-like mockumentary of finding the Australian of the Year. It's been a long while since there was any quality Aussie comedy on TV, and most of this was improvised.
(some coarse language in these excerpts)
cancel exit cancel exit cancel exit cancel exit...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Daniel.jpg
Daniel: Nominated for donating his eardrum to his slightly-retard deaf twin brother Nathan.
Deafness
Chicks love spastics
Koala farming

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Jamie.jpg
Ja'mie: Sponsors 85 Sudanese children and fasts 40 hours a week to raise money for charity... and look hot.
Wall of sponsorees
Occult outtake

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Pat.jpg
Pat: Born with one leg shorter than the other, she developed an ability for rolling. She plans to roll from Perth to Uluru.
Pat & Hubby
The roll plan

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Ricky.jpg
Ricky: Invented efficient solar panels, but his passion is in the Chinese Musical Group's Aboriginal production, 'Indigeridoo'.
Lionel Ritchie song
Indigeridoo song

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Phil.jpg
Phil: Rescued nine children from an unsecured jumping castle before high winds blew it into overhead powerlines.
Good parenting


Best thing on Aus TV in a long while!  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/12/05 at 9:06 am

::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/13/05 at 1:26 am

Well, we can't argue with Stu.
He has, after all, been around A WHILE...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/13/05 at 7:15 am

yeah right, as if I can't see you trying to manipulate me into the angry emoticon, Luke... ::)

well, YES...I HAVE been around a while, but my dentist is convinced I'm still a calcium-enriched teenager
;D


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/13/05 at 4:12 pm


well, YES...I HAVE been around a while, but my dentist is convinced I'm still a calcium-enriched teenager


On the contrary, my dentist is convinced I'm Stu McArthur.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/14/05 at 1:25 am

Any relation to Philip McCavities?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/14/05 at 2:38 am



Any relation to Philip McCavities?



since when did McCracken get dumped as the lynchpin for that gag?


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/14/05 at 2:40 am



On the contrary, my dentist is convinced I'm Stu McArthur.



ah, so you refuse to open wide too, Emi? - very wise

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/14/05 at 2:59 am


ah, so you refuse to open wide too, Emi? - very wise


No, the dentist just has a keen nose for the aroma of Aussie saliva.
*giraffe on a drumkit*

This came out rather... small...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Grrrls.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jaytee on 08/14/05 at 6:43 pm


::)




Why the eye rolling Stu ?  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/14/05 at 11:02 pm

Post #666!

Saddam: I love you.
Satan: I WANT to believe that...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/14/05 at 11:30 pm



Why the eye rolling Stu ?  :D



no eye-rolling - just trying to look up Jamie's skirt

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/15/05 at 8:19 am


away I go to Mount Buller for 4 days skiing - in the last week Melbourne has been belted by icy-cold Antarctic winds - great skiing though

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/15/05 at 8:23 am

did you have a good time Stu?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/15/05 at 11:05 pm

Sounds like a better destination than my trip to Uluru, that was terrible for skiing.
Have fun, and get lotsa parodying ideas!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/17/05 at 6:26 pm

Have fun, Stu.  If you die, well, we'll figure something out. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/17/05 at 8:17 pm

Of Transfigure. With a 7 1/2 inch pencil, pine, harnessing an HB centre...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/17/05 at 8:39 pm


Of Transfigure. With a 7 1/2 inch pencil, pine, harnessing an HB centre...


Or we could spell our two-letter words right before we brag about the length of our pencils. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/17/05 at 8:41 pm

I don't conform to your US spelling or 'or'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/17/05 at 8:50 pm


I don't conform to your US spelling or 'or'.


Belt up or I will job you, Wombutt. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/17/05 at 8:52 pm


Belt up or I will job you

*blinks*
*does not belt up*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/17/05 at 8:54 pm


*blinks*
*does not belt up*


And this, children, is why international conformity will inevitably put you into the most awkward of sexual predicaments. 

"Job you"...you disgusting platypussies...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/17/05 at 10:04 pm

Hey, you were the one who said it, you perverted beaver.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/17/05 at 10:18 pm


Hey, you were the one who said it, you perverted beaver.


It's your native slang, clamstubble! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/17/05 at 10:23 pm

Fine, I'll erase my mistake, then, tuna taco.
Chuck us a rubber.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/18/05 at 5:53 pm


Fine, I'll erase my mistake, then, tuna taco.
Chuck us a rubber.


Make that two, I need to go back and forget I ever hinted at jobbing that cockbite.  I should run him over with my VW, then get out of the car and attack him with a titanic greyhound.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/18/05 at 6:39 pm


I should run him over with my VW, then get out of the car and attack him with a titanic greyhound.


That plan doesn't hold any water.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/18/05 at 8:24 pm


That plan doesn't hold any water.


Much like a toilet sieve, or am I misteakin'? 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/18/05 at 9:44 pm

I hope you're not Miss Taken.


... toilet sieve?  ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 08/19/05 at 3:28 am




... toilet sieve?  ???


have you not watched Celebrity Detox clinic or whatever its called?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/19/05 at 9:48 pm


have you not watched Celebrity Detox clinic or whatever its called?


...um, will I want to? :-\\

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/20/05 at 10:57 pm


...um, will I want to? :-\\


I haven't watched it either, but if it includes the toilet sieve I'm talking about, I'm buying Season One on DVD. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/21/05 at 2:11 am

Celebrity DeLax Colonic

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/21/05 at 11:17 pm


Celebrity DeLax Colonic


Mayonnaise. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/21/05 at 11:47 pm

*ding ding*
Emi: 1
Luke: 0
Humanity: -1000

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/22/05 at 1:13 am

Sweet sushi, there's a competition for the university Anime group to design some tarot cards.
I've always wanted to do a set of tarot cards (or normal playing cards) as the parodying potential is huge.
And Marilyn Manson is always inspiring, the freaking artistic genius. I found the images on the net and fell in love with style when studying for my HSC major art work and didn't realise they were his until I got his Holy Wood album.

http://www.marilyn-manson.ch/galerie/art-death.jpg
http://www.marilyn-manson.ch/galerie/art-hermit.jpg
http://www.marilyn-manson.ch/galerie/art-devil.jpg

And more: http://www.marilyn-manson.ch/galerie/art.htm

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/22/05 at 6:32 am

Once you've finished them, pray show us and let me know how Fluffkins is doing...that's my hotgranny who passed on to her next life as a poodle impersonator. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/22/05 at 6:49 am

Some flamingmongrelustard stole one of my scooter's handlebars while it sat outside the library.
Not the WHOLE scooter!
Not BOTH handlebars.
ONE flamingmongrel handlebar!

*gets into foul mood... is inspired to do 'Foul Mood Inc'*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/22/05 at 8:07 am


Some flamingmongrelustard stole one of my scooter's handlebars while it sat outside the library.
Not the WHOLE scooter!
Not BOTH handlebars.
ONE flamingmongrel handlebar!

*gets into foul mood... is inspired to do 'Foul Mood Inc'*


Well, if you weren't so lame as to own a scooter, maybe bad things wouldn't happen to you, like the theft of a handlebar or your ex-wife commiting genocide. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/22/05 at 9:12 pm


Well, if you weren't so lame as to own a scooter, maybe bad things wouldn't happen to you, like the theft of a handlebar or your ex-wife commiting genocide.

Hey, for weeeeks I was the fashionable lone rider carving through campus pedestrians with that delicious swishy sound that wheels make when you turn. Recently I've seen two try-hard wannabes... one guy from the skater group and another guy who just walks around with a scooter slung over his shoulder and a guitar over the other shoulder.
And I hate Jen, too. Go ahead and kill the biache.


Once you've finished them, pray show us and let me know how Fluffkins is doing...that's my hotgranny who passed on to her next life as a poodle impersonator.


Righto, I feel my aura pulsing. Hmm... *shuffle shuffle shuffle*... oh yes, I can feel her talking through the cards. Let's see...

*flips*

*flips*

*flips*

... a pair of jokers and the ace of hearts? What could she be referring to there?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 08/23/05 at 12:00 am


Sweet sushi, there's a competition for the university Anime group to design some tarot cards.
I've always wanted to do a set of tarot cards (or normal playing cards) as the parodying potential is huge.
And Marilyn Manson is always inspiring, the freaking artistic genius. I found the images on the net and fell in love with style when studying for my HSC major art work and didn't realise they were his until I got his Holy Wood album.


I may be wrong here, but an 'Anime' group would surely want cute cartoony characters, no?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/23/05 at 3:31 am

^ Yes, there is the Pokemon-style of Anime, but the majority of it (that I watched when boarding in high school with some Korean guys, anyway) is ultraviolent, film-noirish Blade Runner sort of stuff. Have you seen the Japanese animation in Kill Bill? Hardly cute and cartoony.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 08/23/05 at 4:17 pm


^ Yes, there is the Pokemon-style of Anime, but the majority of it (that I watched when boarding in high school with some Korean guys, anyway) is ultraviolent, film-noirish Blade Runner sort of stuff. Have you seen the Japanese animation in Kill Bill? Hardly cute and cartoony.


Well, I don't see the problem with cute and cartoony...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/23/05 at 10:17 pm


Well, I don't see the problem with cute and cartoony...


Nor I.  I used to be into the whole anime thing (I even created a mini-manga called "The Bishoujo Super Sexy Schoolbomb BOOM Girls" about 7th-grade magical terrorists) and cute and cartoony was all I was ever exposed to. 

All the same, I must acknowledge the slight difference between this:

http://www.roenergy.org/images/sailmoon/jpg/cats.jpg

and this:

http://www.anime-source.com/banzai/images/articles/ladydeath/1.jpg


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/23/05 at 11:03 pm


Well, I don't see the problem with cute and cartoony...


You got me there. Those tarot cards are cute as, but knowing me I'd add some sick twist to their cuteness a la Happy Tree Friends.
Is that the Harry Potter writing?  :o


Nor I. I used to be into the whole anime thing (I even created a mini-manga called "The Bishoujo Super Sexy Schoolbomb BOOM Girls"

Ahem. Any panty shots? I would happily analyse you stylistic approach if you provided some samples examples.


All the same, I must acknowledge the slight difference between this:

http://www.roenergy.org/images/sailmoon/jpg/cats.jpg

and this:

http://www.anime-source.com/banzai/images/articles/ladydeath/1.jpg


Duh. The first one's pre-blender...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Scathe on 08/24/05 at 2:19 am


^ Yes, there is the Pokemon-style of Anime, but the majority of it (that I watched when boarding in high school with some Korean guys, anyway) is ultraviolent, film-noirish Blade Runner sort of stuff. Have you seen the Japanese animation in Kill Bill? Hardly cute and cartoony.


Don't forget Cowboy Bebop.  It's a fine example of the latter type.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/24/05 at 2:59 am


Don't forget Cowboy Bebop. It's a fine example of the latter type.


Yeah, Cowboy Beebop was cool. I remember some wacko girl with a dog or something...

Sailor Moon was still my fave, though.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/24/05 at 7:01 am


Sailor Moon was still my fave, though.


Yep, same here.  Preadolescent magical anime babes, woot. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 08/24/05 at 11:27 am


You got me there. Those tarot cards are cute as, but knowing me I'd add some sick twist to their cuteness a la Happy Tree Friends.
Is that the Harry Potter writing?  :o


Yes, it's a Harry Potter True-Type font knockoff...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/24/05 at 8:25 pm


Yes, it's a Harry Potter True-Type font knockoff...


...as is conventional in Asian artwork...  ???

DZK... this guy is lyrically brilliant and hilarious.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/25/05 at 3:27 pm


...as is conventional in Asian artwork...  ???

DZK... this guy is lyrically brilliant and hilarious.



As is this guy:

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/443002/2/boy_playing_piano.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/25/05 at 8:40 pm

What are you talking about, silly? They're the same person!  :D

Voltaire said something like 'I disagree with every word you say but would defend to the death your right to say it.'
Which is like me with Marilyn Manson, I love the way in which the message is conveyed despite not agreeing with it.
And this work is brilliantly written: Pray To Your God

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/26/05 at 9:17 pm

'Wikipedia Worries' from the 'Icon' section of The Sydney Morning Herald, August 27-28 2005:

"Last week carried an entry for a supposed new religion involving a deity know as the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The religion is a parody of the Kansas State Board of Education's decision to allow theories of intelligent design (the idea that the universe was created by an unkown intelligent agent) to be taught in science classes. This entry is now being considered for deletion...

...the Spaghetti Monster entry has undergone a lot of editing by the community presenting it as a meme and a gag at various times."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/26/05 at 11:48 pm


'Wikipedia Worries' from the 'Icon' section of The Sydney Morning Herald, August 27-28 2005:

"Last week carried an entry for a supposed new religion involving a deity know as the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The religion is a parody of the Kansas State Board of Education's decision to allow theories of intelligent design (the idea that the universe was created by an unkown intelligent agent) to be taught in science classes. This entry is now being considered for deletion...

...the Spaghetti Monster entry has undergone a lot of editing by the community presenting it as a meme and a gag at various times."


REP'R'ZNT.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/27/05 at 1:24 am

What's great is that I can use this in an essay as Wikipedia is a prime example of media pluralisation where the audience plays an integral role of not only responding to but creating the media of which they consume.

You quirky American spellers. It's "R'PR'Z'NT"... or so the bumper stickers of every car in Bankstown say... along with 'Stooged' and 'Chucky would kill me if I posted that particular one'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/27/05 at 7:17 am


What's great is that I can use this in an essay as Wikipedia is a prime example of media pluralisation where the audience plays an integral role of not only responding to but creating the media of which they consume.


Or you could just run over your grandmother with a lawn mower. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/27/05 at 11:54 am


??? 
wow, the Emi/Luke decipherable-post/indecipherable-post ratio just dipped below the 20% mark for the first time ever


 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/27/05 at 9:43 pm

^LOL. ;D


Or you could just run over your grandmother with a lawn mower. 


Imbecile, I'm not doing Economic Studies!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/28/05 at 1:00 am


19.2% and dropping

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/28/05 at 2:42 am

>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( :D >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 08/28/05 at 9:46 am



:).....back up to 19.88%


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/28/05 at 10:30 am


Imbecile, I'm not doing Economic Studies!


That's my point, Luke.  Common knowledge.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/28/05 at 9:55 pm

Ohhh, ampersand in a nostrils flaring. I'm such an eloquent.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/HOMESTARR.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/29/05 at 7:49 am


Ohhh, ampersand in a nostrils flaring. I'm such an eloquent.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/HOMESTARR.jpg


Confederately speaking, yes.  But as you can see in this case of Haagen-Daz, the purified is simply enhanced through waddle. 

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/pic-dies-irea1.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/29/05 at 9:11 pm

No.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/29/05 at 10:06 pm


No.


I painted that sidewalk, Man-Crux!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/29/05 at 10:06 pm

YES!  :)

Where are those sizzling formal-date-with-Lemmiwinks pics you mentioned?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 08/29/05 at 10:18 pm


YES!  :)

Where are those sizzling formal-date-with-Lemmiwinks pics you mentioned?


At school.  My scanner was PMSing and I knew it would be pointless to bring them home, so I stuffed them in Dr. Sander's gradebook.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/29/05 at 10:26 pm

*nostalgic sigh* Ahh, Dr Sanders. Will you ever win...?

*marvels at PMSing scanner comment*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 08/31/05 at 7:35 pm

*grooooan* How stupid are stupid people? I've only vaguely heard of 'Bonsai Kittens' and was recently bombarded with requests to sign a petition against www.bonsaikitten.com, the hundreds of signatures all angrily protesting the sick practise of bottling kittens whilst their bones are still forming so that they grow into the shape of the bottle as their skeletal structure hardens.

And the site is SO. OBVIOUSLY. a joke. Though a lot of drunken idiots would take it seriously.

http://img169.exs.cx/img169/6382/kitten8va.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/01/05 at 6:02 am


*grooooan* How stupid are stupid people? I've only vaguely heard of 'Bonsai Kittens' and was recently bombarded with requests to sign a petition against www.bonsaikitten.com, the hundreds of signatures all angrily protesting the sick practise of bottling kittens whilst their bones are still forming so that they grow into the shape of the bottle as their skeletal structure hardens.

And the site is SO. OBVIOUSLY. a joke. Though a lot of drunken idiots would take it seriously.

http://img169.exs.cx/img169/6382/kitten8va.jpg


But dude.  It works.  I frickin' BREED bonsai kittens.

...is the term "breed" equivalent to "breed with"?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/01/05 at 8:55 pm


yes, but the bonsai stage is just the start of the process

Bonsai-Cat enthusiasts then coat the miniature cats in plaster-of-paris and stand them in rows on their mantlepieces

It's the plaster-of-paris stage that has the animal-rights groups in uproar 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/01/05 at 10:53 pm

^ LOL to the power of two.

Plastered Paris:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Paris.jpg

What she did next was a most unorthodox method of removing the cork.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/01/05 at 11:09 pm


^ LOL to the power of two.

Plastered Paris:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Paris.jpg

What she did next was a most unorthodox method of removing the cork.



*schoolboyish giggle*  hee hee


...hence the term "corkscrew" ....hee hee hee

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/03/05 at 11:18 pm

*gasp!* Roger Ramjet box set, on sale to $29.95? Gimmee gimmee gimmee!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/04/05 at 10:45 am


*gasp!* Roger Ramjet box set, on sale to $29.95? Gimmee gimmee gimmee!


Sit.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/04/05 at 10:01 pm

Faulty 'h' button?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/05/05 at 12:45 am


Faulty 'h' button?


Are you kidding me?  You're so full of Sith!!!

*collective groan*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/05/05 at 2:28 am

Just like Paris Hilton with a jagged gardening tool, I so saw that coming.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/05/05 at 5:18 am


Just like Paris Hilton with a jagged gardening tool, I so saw that coming.


But, unlike Paris Hilton, you reacted to the stimulus.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/06/05 at 12:00 am

And just like Paris Hilton slurs drunkenly twice a week:
"Marry me, you gorgeous seventeen year old!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/06/05 at 3:47 am

My brother just got chosen for the national Shakespeare festival, the lucky little cockchafer.
Last year two friends and I did a three-man version of the Pyramus and Thisbe scene, with about six costume changes which just added to the CRAAAZY GARY OLDMAN style. And even my mum says ours was much better than my brother's stupid, poo-ey scene. Noted, they did pick individuals from group performances to go to nationals, but we were robbed of the chance to even go to state because of final exams, as opposed to stupid, poo-ey Year 11 where you don't do anything at all except learn how to properly spell poo-ey.

Modelling technique often skips a sibling-generation.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Brat.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/06/05 at 11:17 am

Well, SHEESH.  Even your MUM thought yours was better.  ::)

Tough break, Luke, but Mmm, your cockchafing brother's looking dapper! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/06/05 at 11:04 pm

Whilst rifling through my nonna's old photo collection, I discovered a priceless image of my brother around 2 years of age doing something utterly mortifying to a public pool with a similar 'too-cool-to-look-at-the-camera' pose as seen above. I'm saving it for his 18th birthday party. Heh heh heh.

Hey, all mums (and moms, to an equal extent) hold an almighty Newman-like status of omnipotent objectiveness in judging the worth of anything. One of my teammates performed on OnStage, which is the top 10 or so drama performances of the HSC.
(Yes, Stu, only out of 7000 NSW students!)

Unfortunately, the dapper cockchafer is taken at the moment:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Bratty.jpg
Hmm, I should save that one for the birthday card...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/06/05 at 11:17 pm

Wow, Luke...it's not like I didn't expect incest the moment I found out you were from Australia, but you look a lot younger than I imagined. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/06/05 at 11:30 pm

I hated that haircut, too.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/06/05 at 11:42 pm


I hated that haircut, too.


Not as much as you hated this one. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/06/05 at 11:47 pm

... *hesitates*

...

... uhh...

... *falters in response*

...

...

...

... um... WHAT?!  ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/06/05 at 11:51 pm

What's that, Luke?  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/06/05 at 11:59 pm

Ha.
Ha.
Witty.

We alwaysdo the Austin Power's 'mole' routine on Master Warwick there, on his left eyebrow.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/07/05 at 12:34 am


Ha.
Ha.
Witty.

We alwaysdo the Austin Power's 'mole' routine on Master Warwick there, on his left eyebrow.



This is Witty. 
http://www.civil.usyd.edu.au/ people/witty.jpg

He is not remotely funny.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/07/05 at 1:26 am


This is Witty.
http://www.civil.usyd.edu.au/ people/witty.jpg

He is not remotely funny.


I don't know, the whimsical way his face looks remarkably like a red 'x' is rather amusing.
As opposed to the witty folk your town has...

Amazing how I can spend agonising hours on end fixing up MSpaint works pixel by pixel and yet feel totally drained after half an hour of typing a basic film analysis. Noted, it was a horrendous bash-em-up Russel Crowe film, but there's heaps in Virtuosity that I can relate to posthumanist theory and the notion of the virtual vs the real in relation to... yawn.

Oh look, I just discovered that there are easter eggs at the end of Strong Bad's emails... *begins numerical ascent*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/07/05 at 4:55 pm


Finished with all those eggs yet?  (Sometimes there's more than one - better check them all over again from email 1)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/07/05 at 7:09 pm

I would really like to say that I did not go through #75-#125 sbemails before heading off home.
I would really like to say that I did not then spend half an hour making a pizza before watching two hours of late night television.
I would really like to say that I did not then realise I had a group presentation for a different subject at 9am this morning, which I then had to cram for well in to the night, getting up with raw eyeballs and splitting headacheyness for the fatigue-inducing half-hour walk to campus without breakfast that cause my brain to consume everything I'd read the previous night in order to fuel my muscles.
But I can't.
So I won't.
...say.
...yep.
...yep yep.
...yep yep yep.


Finished with all those eggs yet? (Sometimes there's more than one - better check them all over again from email 1)


Thanks, I had no idea what I was talking about when I said '*begins numerical ascent*'. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/07/05 at 7:43 pm

It's so good to know that I'm not the only one procrastinating my pancreas off lately.  Today I weasled out of Calc to look over finish begin writing a lab report that was due in less than an hour. 

Of course, upon sitting down at the school computer, I noticed that someone had left their copy of REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book by Robert Hamburger sitting beside the keyboard.

I shouldn't have.  But I won't say that I did. 

Er...I shouldn't have said that I won't say that I did.

But you know how I roll.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/07/05 at 7:52 pm

Downhill.
Naked.
Chewing bubblegum.
Wrapped up in plastic.
With a hairdo sundae.
And a tomato.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/07/05 at 7:55 pm


Downhill.
Naked.
Chewing bubblegum.
Wrapped up in plastic.
With a hairdo sundae.
And a tomato.


"I would have forgotten about that incident if it weren't for this pesky mudblood college student from across the globe who keeps reminding me."

Don't make me say it.  I will be soooo embarassed to admit correspondance with a mudblood.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/07/05 at 7:57 pm

I'm 1/30th pineapple.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/07/05 at 9:03 pm


I'm 1/30th pineapple.


*scoffles*  Yeah, and I'm 1/126 Australian. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/07/05 at 10:52 pm


*scoffles*  Yeah, and I'm 1/126 Australian. 

I'll give you 1/126th of an Australian...

"1.3 pounds of spam coming up!"
http://www.sci.fi/~jpoyry/huijarit/spam.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/09/05 at 1:15 pm

Clever.  :(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/09/05 at 9:10 pm

Random phonecall last night:
Mum: Remember that cafepress site?
Me: No...?
Mum: Where I got that parody shirt for your birthday.
Me: Oh. Yeah.
Mum: Well, I saw this shirt on there... you know that Michaelangelo artwork where there's the man on the cloud with his arm adn finger held out.
Me: *Oh no...*
Mum: But on the other side there's this big noodley thing. And I thought, 'that'd be something *censored pet name* would like, because it's arty but funny. So I got it for you. Your last shirt was an XL, right?
Me: Wha... hamina... schiggity... what are the chances... mamana... schw... did you get into a soppy maternal mood and google my name or something? I mean... did you seriously just...
Mum: So you like it?
Me: Well, yes, but...
Mum: Good. How's the essay coming?
Me: ...whoop, dinner's ready. 'Night mum!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/09/05 at 10:47 pm


Random phonecall last night:
Mum: Remember that cafepress site?
Me: No...?
Mum: Where I got that parody shirt for your birthday.
Me: Oh. Yeah.
Mum: Well, I saw this shirt on there... you know that Michaelangelo artwork where there's the man on the cloud with his arm adn finger held out.
Me: *Oh no...*
Mum: But on the other side there's this big noodley thing. And I thought, 'that'd be something *censored pet name* would like, because it's arty but funny. So I got it for you. Your last shirt was an XL, right?
Me: Wha... hamina... schiggity... what are the chances... mamana... schw... did you get into a soppy maternal mood and google my name or something? I mean... did you seriously just...
Mum: So you like it?
Me: Well, yes, but...
Mum: Good. How's the essay coming?
Me: ...whoop, dinner's ready. 'Night mum!



Holy...there is no...hamina...schiggity..."ARE YOU F*CKING SERIOUS?!?"

It took a few seconds for the absurdity of this statement to sink in.

"They've - got - a - right - to - know - everything!" Lupin panted, still trying to restrain Black. 


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/09/05 at 10:57 pm

I know. It was like a slowly-inflating balloon of frosm-fog slowly inflating in my head.
Though I so wouldn't put it past my mum to do the google thing. For my 16th birthday (17th? 17th.) she went out of her way to order in an American copy of Harry Potter and at the same time sent away to Rowling (though it was obviously handled by lower ranks of PR) to put in a little note mentioning my Hairy Potted books.

It arrived 6 days after OOtP opened in all the bookstores for half the price as it cost her to ship in a copy.
*sigh*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/09/05 at 11:00 pm


I know. It was like a slowly-inflating balloon of frosm-fog slowly inflating in my head.
Though I so wouldn't put it past my mum to do the google thing. For my 16th birthday (17th? 17th.) she went out of her way to order in an American copy of Harry Potter and at the same time sent away to Rowling (though it was obviously handled by lower ranks of PR) to put in a little note mentioning my Hairy Potted books.

It arrived 6 days after OOtP opened in all the bookstores for half the price as it cost her to ship in a copy.
*sigh*

Well, it's the thought that counts.

Even if it was kind of a lousy thought.  :D

Luckily, I use an alias for most of my online mischief.  Whenver Mommy googles my REAL name, she finds hardcore porn instead of oddball nonfictional documents and parodies - whew! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/09/05 at 11:07 pm

Surprise! That's why she's shipping me in as a belated birthday present!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/09/05 at 11:09 pm


Surprise! That's why she's shipping me in as a belated birthday present!


Nah, she already denied me a car, and the best alternative was apparently a sparkly pink dress, not a mail-order husband.  Neither of which would prove entirely useful after one night. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/09/05 at 11:12 pm

Oh, come on. Popping all the bubble wrap from my body would keep you amused for at least 2.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/09/05 at 11:16 pm


Oh, come on. Popping all the bubble wrap from my body would keep you amused for at least 2.


Amused with the bubble wrap, yes.  But by that time I would have unrolled you from your plastic confines and you'd be sitting in the corner recovering from jet lag while I sat in the opposite corner, recovering from denial.

Oh yes, I'm sure you want to hear of the remaining corners.  One would belong to an Iron Maiden that I'd use for the bubble wrap.  The other does not exist, for my room is triangular.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/09/05 at 11:20 pm

As all two-cornered rooms are.

I'm off to get some lunch, I haven't eaten since 4pm yesterday.
*steps outside, is nearly run over*
Ass! Drive on the right side of the road!
"I am driving on the right side of the road!"
Oh yeah, well, the left, then.
*wonders if journey path is going in circles, realises that every street corner has a Starbucks*
*stares at toilet for minutes on end, marvelling at the reverse-revolution of the swirling flush*
*wonders which way it flushes at the equator*
*is brainf frosmed*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/09/05 at 11:28 pm


As all two-cornered rooms are.


You have to understand...my coherency level drops significantly after 11:20.  So I think I'll go to sleep now and prepare myself for 8 hours of community service starting at 6 a.m. tomorrow.  I get to scrape paint and poison myself with lead flakes.

And of course a two-cornered room is triangular. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/09/05 at 11:30 pm

Yes, dear.

"For now, let them sleep. For only in dreams can they be unaware of my wrinkly paws gently stroking their hands."
-Dumbledore

I just realised 'Nib Oswald Brattoni' stands for NOB.
I need to add a Kevin in there somewhere.

Win Gold, Cathy Freeman!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/11/05 at 12:17 am

To the tune of 'Mr Cellophane' from Chicago.

http://www.hrwiki.org/images/thumb/7/71/190px-melonade.png

There's no more cold ones on the couch.
The raisin juice has been thrown out.
Biscuit Dough Hands Man took the keg.
So what's to drink?

Could Strong Mad make a smoothie? No.
He'd fry a tin of peppered dough,
And add a Yellow Dellow egg.
So what's to drink?

The heat is slowly cooking Marzipan.
Arid sun has scorched the Thnikkaman.
Homsar says he's "the thirstiest debris".
It's desert hot, oh quench our thirst now pleeease...

Melonade
Sippin' melonade.
After mining games,
Drink some melonade.
Cuz today's hot and steamy.
Coach Zs slimy.
This beverage has flair!

I tells ya...
Melonade
Sippin' melonade.
At the Cheat Parade
Drink some melonade.
Cuz even Bubs is bone dry.
Wants drinks icy 
This beverage has flair!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/11/05 at 2:07 am

Backstreet Boys 'Black and Blue' album: $22.95... $15.00 ... 88c.
I seriously considered not shelling out that much for it, but considered 6.5c a track to be tolerable as CD singles often go for around $7.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/13/05 at 3:21 am



just received this snap of Dubya and his dad, vacationing in New Orleans

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Lazarus on 09/13/05 at 9:19 am

Now that photo of Bush has to be the most obvious fake.....I mean, who out there actually believes Bush could outsmart a fish????? Jeeeeesh! :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/13/05 at 4:16 pm



just received this snap of Dubya and his dad, vacationing in New Orleans



LOL, Stu!  I also read the follow-up article regarding his methods of comforting survivors...truly touching.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/13/05 at 10:54 pm


LOL, Stu!  I also read the follow-up article regarding his methods of comforting survivors...truly touching.




hmm yes, I suppose he meant well, but changing the first line of the song to "There ISN'T a house in New Orleans..." is a gag which really needs the right time and the right audience - (where are those advisors of his?)




Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/13/05 at 11:51 pm

They're busy fishing all of their 'drought warning' signs from out of the depths.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/14/05 at 9:14 pm


They're busy fishing all of their 'drought warning' signs from out of the depths.


And I thought my DAD'S car had a bad Paint job!  :D

*roadkill'd giraffes chortle appreciatively*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/14/05 at 11:14 pm

Yeah, you rotate those eyeballless pupils.
Oh, who's 10000th viewer of the thread ?

*dances in a dhoti*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/15/05 at 3:10 am

...OK, I'm going to have to cut short my dhoti dancing. I just had my Philosophy exam, which was a total laugh.
As in when you laugh at an oil-choked baby seal slowly gag to death on a plastic bag.

Now I remember why I dropped maths and science all those years ago. In English, Drama and Art I would only need to skim through notes in the hours leading up to an exam in order to have a fair idea of what concepts I can extrapolate with the artistic license such subjects are endowed with.

I, however, attempted tocatch upon twenty-one lectures-worth of progessively more complicated formulas, having only been to three (and those were the first couple, hence at the beginners-end of the book)
Suffice to say I do not think I will even get a Conceded Pass for the previous hour of agonising brain frosm.

??? What lesson learned?  ???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 09/15/05 at 3:39 am



??? What lesson learned?  ???


Don't register for another maths type course ever again?

Actually attend the lectures if you register for a course?

Or are you more a "live and don't learn" type of person?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/15/05 at 6:58 pm


Or are you more a "live and don't learn" type of person?


Ah, you're learning.

The thing was, it's a Philosophy course, so calculus was the last thing I was expecting.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/15/05 at 7:32 pm


Ah, you're learning.

The thing was, it's a Philosophy course, so calculus was the last thing I was expecting.


hmm......*waves pipe quizzically*.....but if, as you claim, it was the last thing you were expecting, then did you not.....*pauses, raises eyebrows*.....really expect it?



hmm?

(quite the conundrum)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/15/05 at 8:36 pm


hmm......*waves pipe quizzically*.....but if, as you claim, it was the last thing you were expecting, then did you not.....*pauses, raises eyebrows*.....really expect it?



hmm?

(quite the conundrum)




Of COURSE he was expecting it - it was just one of the least-expected expectations.  You know, like that your Calc teacher is going to laugh for fifteen minutes at the words "fallopian tubes". 

A good rule for these kinds of things is: Expect it.  Like, tomorrow.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/15/05 at 8:54 pm

You know the phrase "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"?  Yeah, yeah, and you know that band Green Day?

...Dios Mio, I'm lame.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/bird.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/15/05 at 8:58 pm

Oh, Stu. Should you really be smoking at your age? It's already causing you to act disorientated and wear a quizzical expression.

Question: Could Yoda's name have been 'Da yo' all along?
Think about it.


You know the phrase "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"?


I always thought the 'two' referred to hands in the... ahem, fine MSPainting, my dear.
Sorry, I must be off for a WASP rehearsal, so am typing 'flat out like a lizard drinking'.

"You eeeediom, Stimpy!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/15/05 at 9:55 pm


And further into the bucket of unexpectedness... I appear to have 'stroke me' written across my body in glow-in-the-dark ink visible to all but me. Due to being the last day before midsemester break, our double culture lecture was composed of a scratched American Splendor DVD in a darkened auditorium. I was coaxed over to join a few girls from my previous-semester tutorial class and had hands patting my arms in laughter at any witticism I made, stroking my hip for seconds on end and latching under my arms under the premise that it was cold and I had a comfy sweater. For one having spent my entire adolescence in an all-male environment, this had 'adverse effects' such that I was glad that it was pitch black, due to hundred odd people behind us.


I think I saw a porno like this once. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/15/05 at 10:11 pm

*full marks*

Oh blimey, and they didn't even have any champagne in them. Being the last day before break, today is known as 'Conception Day'
(which heralds thousands of comments by people with the vaguest notion of the term 'pun'.) where a quarter of the university is fenced off to house several stages with live bands and DJs. Red-faced giggle factor is exponential.

It was a pity American Splendor kept crystallising every ten minutes on screen. Brilliantly Charlie Kaufman-esque.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 09/15/05 at 10:29 pm


Ah, you're learning.

The thing was, it's a Philosophy course, so calculus was the last thing I was expecting.


As much as you claim to study, it could have been Philosophy questions that you thought were actually Calculus ones... one can only assume.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/15/05 at 10:33 pm


*full marks*

Oh blimey, and they didn't even have any champagne in them. Being the last day before break, today is known as 'Conception Day'
(which heralds thousands of comments by people with the vaguest notion of the term 'pun'.) where a quarter of the university is fenced off to house several stages with live bands and DJs. Red-faced giggle factor is exponential.

It was a pity American Splendor kept crystallising every ten minutes on screen. Brilliantly Charlie Kaufman-esque.


I'm jealous.  When I get to college, I am going to drink so much hard liquor and dance on every table in the guest hall to compensate for my devastatingly innocent upbringing and frustrations from hearing your uni stories.  Until then, what am I supposed to do?  Legally?  Besides consent for something I'm already paid to do?!?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/15/05 at 10:45 pm



Oh, Stu. Should you really be smoking at your age? It's already causing you to act disorientated and wear a quizzical expression.



*re-waves pipe quizzically*  precisely, young Luke - for once that quinella has been achieved, one is through to the philosphy finals without dropping a set


hmm.....or is one?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/15/05 at 10:49 pm

^ I could seriously see you keep this up without it ever getting less funny.


I'm jealous. When I get to college, I am going to drink so much hard liquor and dance on every table in the guest hall to compensate for my devastatingly innocent upbringing and frustrations from hearing your uni stories. Until then, what am I supposed to do? Legally? Besides consent for something I'm already paid to do?!?


Yeesh, it's just a DVD, just rent it out on the weekend.  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/17/05 at 6:36 am

HOME AGAIN!

Note the 7 1/2 hour train trip turned into a 9 hour train trip when a freaking tree was blown over the railway lines midway between Whoopwhoop and Timbuktoo and took ages for a station master to drive up and chainsaw it away with a bunch of council workers.

I just realised I've spent more time at dad's place this year than at mum's. "And that's saying something." -Lupin, Prisoner of Azkaban.

Our performance of WASP will be so awesome, I somehow managed to get in with killer co-stars. Rehearsing my lines with a sloshed mum- HILARIOUS.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/18/05 at 12:06 am

Old School MSpainting. I'm talking 2001 here.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/DogfartsCrest.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/19/05 at 12:32 am

Mass ROFLMAO'ing.

This here thread is the first thing to pop up when you google media pluralisation, so I can assume about 300 people will inadvertently end up going through here in hopes of finding information for their large-buttocksed 40% essays.

;D *waves to fellow students*  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/21/05 at 4:38 pm

It's too bad that media pluralization brings back no mentions of a Mattering Thread.  Why can't we 'Merkins spell tings rit?

Oh Lord, I just found the saddest thing in my closet. Remember the AmiRight Government?  Behold - the chorus to my campaign song.

(R. Kelly was my running mate.)

I must be picked this election
In the flesh, your selection
All my polls say “That hottie
got ev’ry man’s predilection,”
Whipping total Bush bum
He’s like “Oh motherf*ck”,
On a streak, a chic First Lady
As I shout, “I’ve already won!”

*massive eye roll*

*butters eye roll*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/22/05 at 4:12 am

You mean you were running from R.Kelly?

...I'm not too 'down' with American lingo, but isn't First Lady the title given to the president's spouse? Hence, I get to parade that title. And give me that buttered eye roll, we wouldn't our president choking now, would we?

My brother said he would be practising his final drama performance first two periods yesterday, so I went along with him to school (ahhh, it's been too long since I've had hourly wallops to the bicep and an array of various synonyms for 'homosexual' grunted in way of greeting from old school chums. *sighs remeniscently*) Turned out it was actually 7:30 pm, so I spent the whole day having teachers relive every goose-assed antic I pulled last year retold in painstaking relish. To kill time I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... Augustus and Violet were great, but Teavee and Salt had so much potential to parody the suburban-homeboy-white-kid-obsessed-with-violent-video-games and tweeny-bopping-rich-girl-with-her-own-personal-cell-phone-et-al characterisations. The film was way too bleak to be a kid's movie, it was one giant anti-climax, the single Oompa-Loompa was a bad idea as it just highlighted the digital effects of the film and half of Wonkas lines were delivered like Dr Evil.

To sum up, my brother was made Prefect today... deputy and head position to be decided later in the year.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/23/05 at 11:37 am


To sum up, my brother was made Prefect today... deputy and head position to be decided later in the year.


Woot to yo' brother!  I haven't seen the Wonka yet, been a little too preoccupied with the absolute CAMEMBERT of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/24/05 at 1:14 am

Ooh, it does look cheesy indeed. (...your last name wouldn't be Rose now, would it?)
You know, for a country that's twenty hours ahead of the US, Australia sure is slow film-wise. Emily Rose hasn't even been rated here yet, and we're also gonna have to wait until December 1 for GOF.

I am suddenly interested in my pluraliszation essay, as I have decided that my angle on the subject merits enough artistic license for me to use amiright.com, homestarrunner.com, wikipedia, imdb, mugglenet and a legion of other sites as study material cuz they're examples of a dominant participatory audience creating their own media via advancements in global blah blah biography.

Mass gew: when collaborating pics for the Beatles' cover, mum asked who all the faces were and I explained that they were fellow parody artists. Upon scrolling down to your pixelly shrine of the bitmap area, she asked "Who's that gorgeous girl?"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/25/05 at 10:39 pm

*wootin' giraffes*

Currently wearing my 'touched by his noodly appendage' shirt. Perfect attire for watching 'Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind' with a huge plate of spaghetti bolognese.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/26/05 at 8:33 pm


*wootin' giraffes*

Currently wearing my 'touched by his noodly appendage' shirt. Perfect attire for watching 'Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind' with a huge plate of spaghetti bolognese.


Still haven't seen that one.  But I had linguine with puttanesca last night while watching Million Dollar Baby.  God, if Hilary Swank couldn't serve as a sperm bank for the city of Taiwan...

...then I'd be happy, because that would be bizarre.

Currenly wearing my "Miller. Good Call." shirt that I got scolded for and confiscated-until-further-notice-which-means-after-school today.  Apparently we're not allowed to advertise beer on our shirts...and yet, we're allowed to advertise Abercrombie&Fitch, Etnies and *gasp* TEENAGE REPUBLICANS without reprimand? 

I'm moving to Australia!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/26/05 at 8:36 pm


Mass gew: when collaborating pics for the Beatles' cover, mum asked who all the faces were and I explained that they were fellow parody artists. Upon scrolling down to your pixelly shrine of the bitmap area, she asked "Who's that gorgeous girl?"


Gew-wincidental: That's exactly what I said when I stared up at your mum from my pixelly shrine.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/27/05 at 1:38 am

Apparently any film about boxing is immediately dubbed a classic. Raging Bull... Ali... Cinderella Man... The Life of Ike Turner...

Your teacher confiscated your shirt? See, down here, that sort of thing is called 'sexual harassment'.
If you move to Australia, there will sadly be little difference in the slogans and brandnames sported on t-shirts... except everyone imports them for a tenth of the price from Indonesian sweatshops.


Gew-wincidental: That's exactly what I said when I stared up at your mum from my pixelly shrine.

Awwwww.


I'm moving to Australia!!!


Smart move. Maple glaze: duty free.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 09/27/05 at 3:29 am


.

Currenly wearing my "Miller. Good Call." shirt that I got scolded for and confiscated-until-further-notice-which-means-after-school today.  Apparently we're not allowed to advertise beer on our shirts...and yet, we're allowed to advertise Abercrombie&Fitch, Etnies and *gasp* TEENAGE REPUBLICANS without reprimand? 



Never had a shirt confiscated but have been asked to cover up a t-shirt I was wearing because it was "rascist".  It had a small picture of the British flag on it.  :-\\

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/27/05 at 3:34 am

*gasp*
:o
A SMALL British flag?! YOU BIGOT!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 09/28/05 at 11:33 am

Emiloca, don't you hate it when someone posts before you do and that red text shows up?  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/28/05 at 11:35 am


Never had a shirt confiscated but have been asked to cover up a t-shirt I was wearing because it was "rascist".  It had a small picture of the British flag on it.  :-\\


*struggles against the urge to post lyrics from "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist"*

*loses*

Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

Princeton:
Who?

Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.

Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.

Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black!

Princeton:
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

All:


YWN: You poopshank!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 09/28/05 at 11:38 am


YWN: You poopshank!


Hahaha, it was a game I invented a few weeks ago.  Look at Who's Online, and when you see someone posting, you go to the thread and post something to block them.  So far, Beth (MidKnightDarkness) and I are the only people who play it.  We call the game "Dammit"  because whenever you get blocked, you say "Dammit!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/28/05 at 11:41 am


Hahaha, it was a game I invented a few weeks ago.  Look at Who's Online, and when you see someone posting, you go to the thread and post something to block them.  So far, Beth (MidKnightDarkness) and I are the only people who play it.  We call the game "Dammit"  because whenever you get blocked, you say "Dammit!"


Oh, to be easily amused and immature.  I'll try it on the next guy who posts.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 09/28/05 at 5:24 pm


LOL!  Love your avatar, Emi!!  :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/28/05 at 6:02 pm


LOL!  Love your avatar, Emi!!   :)




Can you believe I didn't see Office Space until last weekend?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/29/05 at 3:26 am

...that's the one with Milton who has a stay-puh-ler, right? The scene where they bash up the office equipment is pure gold.

Nice game, YWN. I've invented one where you wait for you or MidKnightDarkness to come online, then go and start writing out a really long reply to a thread so that you have time to jump in and block it.
I call the game 'Beatcha At Yer Own Game, Dangnabbit'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/29/05 at 10:06 pm


I call the game 'Beatcha At Yer Own Game, Dangnabbit'.


Huh, THAT'S original. 

Oh!  Happy Banned Books week!  Celebrate by burning the following scandalacious reads, or by reading the following scandalacious reads, while burning your eyes:

The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/29/05 at 10:22 pm

mugglenet whore.

Yeah, those Waldo books are just packed with raunchy stuff: scrolls, spectacles, walking sticks...

Hoorah! In this musty old box in the back of my garage I found my old InsanE magazines from primary school/early high school. So much shudderingly amteur cartoons and parodies... I will get to scanning ASAP.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/29/05 at 10:48 pm


mugglenet whore.

Yeah, those Waldo books are just packed with raunchy stuff: scrolls, spectacles, walking sticks...

Hoorah! In this musty old box in the back of my garage I found my old InsanE magazines from primary school/early high school. So much shudderingly amteur cartoons and parodies... I will get to scanning ASAP.


Excuuuuse me, I am no mugglenet whore!  I'm not the one who sobs for seconds on end when I'm not a caption contest winner!

Which I'm not.  Again.  *half-second sob*

InsanE!  INSAAAAAAANe! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/30/05 at 12:20 am

What yanks my tear ducts is when a caption gets in that's exactly like one I submitted except all worded not goodly.

I one day aspire to be the caption writer for FHM, a magazine for witty men to read witty articles under the premise of perving on scantily-clad ladies. (70% of the pages being advertisements for $200 colognes/metrosexual attire/the latest auto parade with the suffix 'fest'/apparently every 1900 number on the planet/apparently every mobile-phone-screensaver-featuring-Anna-Kournikova-or-an-AFL-logo on the planet.)
But seriously, whoever does the FHM captions is a genius. There's one for every picture in the mag, hundreds of them, and half of them would go over 80% of the readers' heads. They rank right up with Desmond Devlin in my books.


InsanE! INSAAAAAAANe!


Hey, that capital 'E' plays a pivotal role in InsanE's founding... I can't remember what it is was but it was reeeeaaaalllllly funny at the time. I'll post all the scannings in my '...Nib Oswald...' thread.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 09/30/05 at 8:00 am

Why did Where's Waldo and James And The Giant Peach get banned!?  >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 09/30/05 at 12:02 pm


Why did Where's Waldo and James And The Giant Peach get banned!?   >:(


Well...

James and the Giant Peach -  Challenged at the Deep Creek Elementary School in Charlotte Harbor, Fla. (1991) because it is "not appropriate reading material for young children." Challenged at the Pederson Elementary School in Altoona, Wis. (1991) and at the Morton Elementary School library in Brooksville, Fla. (1992) because the book contains the word "ass" and "promotes" the use of drugs (tobacco, snuff) and whiskey. Removed from classrooms in Stafford County, Va. Schools (1995) and placed in restricted access in the library because the story contains crude language and encourages children to disobey their parents and other adults.

Where's Waldo - Removed from the Springs Public School library in East Hampton, N.Y. (1993) because there is a tiny drawing of a woman lying on the beach wearing a bikini bottom but no top. Yes, but did they find Waldo?

and of course:

The Lorax by Dr. Seuss - because it "criminalizes the foresting industry." Isn't that the de-foresting industry?

A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein. Challenged at the Cunningham Elementary School in Beloit, Wis. (1985) because the book "enourages children to break dishes so they won't have to dry them." Removed from Minot, N.Dak. Public School libraries when the superintendent found "suggestive illustrations." Challenged at the Big Bend Elementary School library in Mukwonago, Wis. (1986) because some of Silverstein's poems "glorified Satan, suicide and cannibalism, and also encouraged children to be disobedient."

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. Four members of the Alabama State Textbook Committee (1983) called for the rejection of this book because it is a "real downer."

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Banned in China (1931) for portraying animals and humans on the same level, "Animals should not use human language."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/30/05 at 7:31 pm

As opposed to all those wholesome nursery stories which promote the hacking of wolves with axes, burning alive of old ladies, marriage based on physical attraction and deeply embued gender and class roles within a patriarchal monarchist society.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 09/30/05 at 7:41 pm


Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. Four members of the Alabama State Textbook Committee (1983) called for the rejection of this book because it is a "real downer."


I live in Alabama!  This can't be!  Why would my state do such a thing!  It makes no sense that they would ban a book just because it is depressing.  There's too much censorship.

I am going straight to my library and I am going to search desperately for that picture of the topless sunbather.

I think I've read every Shel Silverstein book there is...  I remember in elementary school, we would show each other the poem about a guy who "watered" (wink, wink) his plant, and giggle.  8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/30/05 at 7:52 pm

Woah, man, watering cans are an immediate criteria for banishment down here.

...

...

...

Have I given you enough time to look up that I'm posting in this thread yet? Cuz I can type out e v e r y  s i n g l e  l e t t e r  o f  e v e r y  w o r d  r e e e e e e e e e a a a a a a a l l y  s l o o o o o o o o o o o o o o w l y just to make sure.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/30/05 at 7:53 pm

Gotcha!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 09/30/05 at 7:54 pm

Nah, I usually don't block people unless they're on the Playful Penguins Board, and it's an appropriate thread for blocking, such as "Longest Thread Ever".  I just wanted to block Emiloca because she was an old friend.   8)

---
Oh, that was...sneaky.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 09/30/05 at 7:55 pm

BOOM!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 09/30/05 at 7:57 pm

See, my whole 'Beatcha At Yer Own Game, Dangnabbit' game was really a decoy to actually beat you at your own game.


...oh crap, you're inevitably going to want revenge for my little block just then. I feel like there's a red sniper dot on the back of my head that I have no way of dodging.

Dangnabbit.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 10/01/05 at 3:49 pm

'If today is freezing, and tomorrow is going to be twice as cold, then what temperature is it going to be?'

0 Celsius= 32 Fahrenheit
32/2= 16 Fahrenheit
16 Fahrenheit= -8.89 Celsius

Year 10 Maths dropout strikes again.


Umm, I see you again use a 'cheat' method.  Converting to Fahrenheit because Celsius is zero is not acceptable.  Besides, most would argue that normal temperature is body temperature 98.6 Fahrenheit or 37 Celsius and cold is measured by a person's discomfort, while others would argue that if you're going to check temperature, you should use the Kelvin scale.  So, freezing in Kelvin is 273.16, while body temperature is 305.16, the difference is 32 degrees, so subtract 32 from 273.16 to get 241.16 Kelvin.  That is -32 Celsius or -25.6 Fahrenheit.  :P

Hope that helps.  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/01/05 at 7:50 pm

"It's a joke, Joyce."

Howsabout 0.5 X 0 degrees= 0 degrees.

Agree to disagree.
Technicality bastard.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 10/01/05 at 9:18 pm


"It's a joke, Joyce."

Howsabout 0.5 X 0 degrees= 0 degrees.

Agree to disagree.
Technicality bastard.



I agree to disagree.  I'll leave it at that.  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/02/05 at 2:01 pm


I agree to disagree.  I'll leave it at that.  ::)


I disagree with that concept, and the grammatical structure of your signature, Tim Mayfield.  But at least estamos de acuerdo with one thing - Luke's jokes follow the zero property (i.e. the product of any idiot (zero) and the wittiness of their joke (How Funny - 4) is equal to the value of the idiot).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 10/02/05 at 5:09 pm


I disagree with that concept, and the grammatical structure of your signature, Tim Mayfield.  But at least estamos de acuerdo with one thing - Luke's jokes follow the zero property (i.e. the product of any idiot (zero) and the wittiness of their joke (How Funny - 4) is equal to the value of the idiot).


I am also in disagreement with the grammatical structure of my signature.  Too long has it gone unnoticed.  It is as much a malady as it is an understatement.  Too long have I gone down the path of poetic punctuation, jumped over the wall of incongruity, and pummeled headlong into the obtuseness of my own idiom.  I say someone should stand up for what is right in this world.  Someone should address the wrong.  They should impress the proud.  They should lift up those whose words are downtrodden.  Be I a man or a mouse, I should venture not into the Disneyland of my mind's own playground.  I should stand firm on the ideology that all men are cremated equally.  No longer should the pain of my youth be the pain of my own ignorance.  I say, get up and fight.  Get up and speak.  Just get up!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/02/05 at 9:25 pm

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get up in five minutes. Zzzzz"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/02/05 at 10:31 pm


"Yeah, yeah, I'll get up in five minutes. Zzzzz"


Now that, my friend, is as much a malady as it is an understatement.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/02/05 at 10:59 pm

And in a horrific twist of irony, I just submitted a t.A.T.u parody that dealt with both such 'maladies' at the same time.
Strong Bad: "Ohhhh... the horrific twist... ... of irony."


Worst of all is I had to type it all from hand due to these lousy new uni computers not having old skool floppy drives. And not only do they NOT allow you to save album parodies as jpegs, they don't produce any sound at all even with headphones in them! What's the use of being able to burn assignments onto a DVD format or move the monitor around to face the ceiling when I can't watch the new 'Wait Til You See Her Kid' video with sound? Honestly, people.

Oh, spoot. I thought my caption "Oy, Moaning Myrtle, is there a sanitary pad dispenser up there? We kind of have an emergency down here!" was bound to get in this week.

*eyelid muscles strain against flow of tears*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/04/05 at 8:53 pm

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2000-06-26&res=l
http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2001-08-10&res=l
http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2001-10-29&res=l

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit gets my stamp of worthiness. Unfortunately, I'm such a seasoned film critic from my studies that I didn't enjoy it as much as I would if I was the same age as when I saw the first two. I anticipated pretty much everything that was going to happen ten minutes beforehand. Still, I will never get sick of seeing Gromit roll his eyes. Truly Arwenesque. The film had loads of great puns and the Insert Coins gag alone is worth the price of admission.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Gromit.jpg

Four stars ****

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/04/05 at 11:49 pm

Boris Yeltsin/ Dawn Fraser: seperated at birth?

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/BorisDawn.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 10/05/05 at 7:24 am

Hey Luke, there's a thread for that in the Playful Penguin's Place, you know!  You'll have to travel far back in the pages to find it though...  ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/05/05 at 9:32 pm

Correction: YOU'RE gonna have to travel far back and get it for me.

*pass in the philosophy exam?*
:D HA!  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 10/05/05 at 9:34 pm


Correction: YOU'RE gonna have to travel far back and get it for me.


Holy crap!  I bumped that same thread earlier today without even remembering this!

You must be using your mind control on me again.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/05/05 at 10:24 pm

BOOM?  ???

http://img1.imagetitan.com/img1/1/7/loveyourjob.gif

Toothpaste For Dinner cartoons- da cheeznit.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 10/06/05 at 3:28 am


Hey Luke, there's a thread for that in the Playful Penguin's Place, you know!  You'll have to travel far back in the pages to find it though...   ::)


this one

separated at birth

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/06/05 at 7:16 pm

Spooky. That thread has some great matches.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 10/06/05 at 7:17 pm


Spooky. That thread has some great matches.


You can't deny the striking similarities between Dan Quayle and Sean Combs.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/06/05 at 10:33 pm

Yes I can.

*denies*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/07/05 at 2:22 am

Sweet Lemony Snicketness, the uni computers finally have sound.
I haven't heard my Chemo Bobby song in months, it's so nice to have those distorted beats pummelling my eardrums again.
*sighs remeniscently*

And now I'm being haunted all over again by this devilishly infantile tune. I can't get it out of my head. And since it's so short, it just loops endlessly while I sit in class or walk around. Not knowing the name of the song has simply amplified the torture.
http://www.collider.com.au/webclips/mcd_large.html

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/07/05 at 10:14 pm

'Equivocal' has all the vowels in it once. Same with 'facetious' and 'education'. Viva la laborious train trips.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 10/10/05 at 9:01 am


'Equivocal' has all the vowels in it once. Same with 'facetious' and 'education'. Viva la laborious train trips.


As does abstemtious.

Only abstemtious and facetious contain all the vowels in alphabetical order

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/10/05 at 5:08 pm


As does abstemtious.

Only abstemtious and facetious contain all the vowels in alphabetical order


Also botanical words "cheilous", "anemious", and "caesious", the wormy zoological "annelidous", and the chemical term "arsenious". 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/10/05 at 9:19 pm


As does abstemtious.

Only abstemtious and facetious contain all the vowels in alphabetical order



Also botanical words "cheilous", "anemious", and "caesious", the wormy zoological "annelidous", and the chemical term "arsenious". 



Google whores.  ;)
I've started parodying the dictionary (after eight hours I still haven't gotten onto the 'ac...'s) mainly just lame puns and pop culture references. My entry for 'adieu' is "The Polish vowels." In fifteen years or so when I finish, The Dictioaedia will be a #1 best seller.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 10/11/05 at 4:30 am


Also botanical words "cheilous",


doesn't have all the vowels

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/11/05 at 9:15 pm


doesn't have all the vowels


Actually, "alsobotanicalwordscheilous" is one word, meaning 'that awkward moment when two people walking toward each other stop and shuffle side to side trying not to bump into the other'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/11/05 at 11:45 pm


doesn't have all the vowels


Doesn't have proper capitalization, punctuation or grammar.  :D

Luke, you can't parody the dictionary.  Just...don't.  What the heck would I do with my life, knowing that you had successfully out-parodied me in every sense of the word?

...well, not that sense.  ;)

But still.  What do I have to do, parody the entire World Wide Web as 'The Whirled Wife Wed', every URL consisting of some idiotic pun about spinning around and getting remarried?  THAT WOULD BE TRYING TOO HARD

Hint.  Hint.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/12/05 at 1:21 am


...well, not that sense.  ;)

*tongue-grapples your uvula*


What do I have to do, parody the entire World Wide Web as 'The Whirled Wife Wed', every URL consisting of some idiotic pun about spinning around and getting remarried?  THAT WOULD BE TRYING TOO HARD. 

I expect 5 billion words on my desk Friday morning! And not your cheap American billions either, I'm talking five-million millions here. If you're still too sookywhingepouty, I sup-pose you can collaborate some Dictioaedia suggestions.

You may notice my typing is a lot more gigglebouncy than usual. Our horrendously Estonian-accented Culture tutor spent the past hour going over our previous essay performances (prior to handing them out- the swine!) and whenever she emphasised common mistakes people had made, her eyes bore into mine for seconds on end. Then she went on to say that the average mark was a pass and I'm thinking 'If I handed my essay in three days late, how in hell will I have managed to scrape a passing mark?'
Dunun dunun! *soft jazzy hi-hat tapping whilst I seductively reach into my bag*
Dunun dunun! *soft jazzy hi-hat tapping whilst I slowly bring out my essay*
Dunun dun- BROOOOAOAAAAEORAGGHGHGH! *dramatic saxophone blare as my "DN+" mark is flashed at audience*

Enough gloating as to how Culture tutors are putty in my hands regarding tardiness. I'm already two days overdue on a Music essay due to finishing my Media essay five days late. I'm afraid 'tis a-
Everyone, in monotone unison: "-vicious cycle, just like menstruation." We know... *eye roll*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 10/13/05 at 12:27 pm

What exactly is this thread anyway?  Is it like Longest Thread Ever in the Playful Penguins Place?  Just random and you can talk about anything?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 10/13/05 at 3:25 pm


Dunun dun- BROOOOAOAAAAEORAGGHGHGH! *dramatic saxophone blare as my "DN+" mark is flashed at audience*


So, what's a DN+?? Short for 'Did Not Pass'?? Maybe 'Did Not Pluslotsofotherthings' or 'Does Need Plusticsurgery'?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/13/05 at 7:30 pm


So, what's a DN+?? Short for 'Did Not Pass'??


I seriously thought it was a 'Did Not Pass' but it didn't seem to fit with her comments praising my intellectual engagement with the material (as opposed to my intellectual engagement with Emi- cue giraffes.) It's a high Distinction. Not a High Distinction, just a Distinction that is close to a High Distinction.

Maybe 'Did Not Pluslotsofotherthings' or 'Does Need Plusticsurgery'?
LOL! Yeah, I do have a need for some plustic.


What exactly is this thread anyway?  Is it like Longest Thread Ever in the Playful Penguins Place?  Just random and you can talk about anything?


No, we can talk about anything. ie. everyone but you. So please leave now and never return.


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 10/13/05 at 7:50 pm

Let's talk about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about FROGS!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Dominic L. on 10/13/05 at 7:56 pm


Let's talk about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about FROGS!



That's a great song!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/13/05 at 8:00 pm


Let's talk about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about talking about FROGS!



That's a great song!


Originally by Salt N Pepa, right?


Finally I've been able to save my MSPaint pride & joy in full size, even though the colours have gone a bit blotchy in places:
http://photo.tickle.com/image/28/1/5/O/28153878O556470057.jpg

And I always get bubbly at how perfect the two Harrys and Hermione fit over the original. I hate everything else.
http://photo.tickle.com/image/28/1/5/O/28157611O054697305.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/16/05 at 11:32 pm

Frogs.  Riiiiight.

Cheesy Moment of the Last 17 Hours

"Hey, thanks for taking me to this concert.  Thing."

"No problem, Em."

*both get out of car - Emi panicks*

"YAHAAAHAAAAARGGGH!!!"

"Oh, what?"

"YOU PARKED RIGHT NEXT TO A BEE HOLE!!!" 

"Whoops."

"I JUST GOT STUNG FIVE TIMES, IDIOT!"

"Heh.  Bee hole."

"Aren't you going to apologize?"

"Sorry, I'm just...hehe...bee hole.  I guess that makes me an a-hole, huh?"

*gunshot*

"...yes."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/17/05 at 12:44 am


*both get out of car - Emi panicks*
"YAHAAAHAAAAARGGGH!!!"
"Oh, what?"
"YOU PARKED RIGHT NEXT TO A BEE HOLE!!!" 
"Whoops."
"I JUST GOT STUNG FIVE TIMES, IDIOT!"
"Heh.  Bee hole."


Sting concert?  ::)

'Bee hole'. Heh heh heh.


Hmm... wait a minute... no, surely you can't have. It must just be an American thing...
*http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=panic*
...
...
...
...'panicks'.
...
...
...
...'PANICKS'?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/17/05 at 2:29 am

WASP is looking freaking great... we've got vertical black and white stripes for our backdrops and flats, and black and white EVERYTHING props, from the furniture to the flowers... which'll be a major shock for our audience following the dimly lit, grimy Mexican bar setting for the performance on just before us.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/Double_Poster_sm.jpg

For some reason, last night our director had the idea of having me in my underwear at the start of the play (...is that in the script?) but it's only for a minute before I dress myself. So anyways, I'm there in my underwear about to start rehearsal when my phone rings.I tell my aunt to call back but she puts on my nonna just to say a quick hello... which meant about twenty seconds of me in my daks sweetly parroting 'OK, ciao, nonna... yep... uh-huh... OK, ciao ciao... yeah, I've got to... mmm... mmm... uh-huh, ciao...'
(Punchline's a comin'... not that far now)
So, post-rehearsal the cast is gathered around the table and our director suggests that prior to the scene where mum is screaming orgasms from the next room, I am to take a 'private' sign, hang it on my door and then hop into bed for some... 'biology studies' before being interrupted halfway through, having a moment of shocked realisation and then a half-minute of staggering about my room in horrified disgust. With the rest of the cast smirking at me at the idea, I stand up and wave out to the empty audience "Ciao, nonna!"
...one of those 'had to be there' moments.

"Unless we take into account of Monte Cristo in our thinking George the Fifth this phenomenon the other hand we shall not be able satisfact or Fiction section of the Watford Public Library."
-Monty Python
Matching Tie and Handkerchief

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/18/05 at 10:55 pm

http://photo.tickle.com/image/28/9/1/O/28916239O641684452.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/18/05 at 11:22 pm


http://photo.tickle.com/image/28/9/1/O/28916239O641684452.jpg


This tickled my fancy.  I'm putting it on my personal site, right next to the picture of the random Brazilian fatman.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/19/05 at 2:04 am

Ahhh yes, your personal site. I still chortle at the word 'página'.

...or is this, like, an actual personal site?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 10/20/05 at 12:16 am


What exactly is this thread anyway?  Is it like Longest Thread Ever in the Playful Penguins Place?  Just random and you can talk about anything?

I was thinking that myself. There used to be a thread on here called "The Only Thread THat Matters" (which was kinda similar to "LTE"---which I have no interest in whatsoever), but it got deleted a while back. This thread, I guess, replaced it. :-\\

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/20/05 at 12:19 am

Uhh... yeah.

*sheepish chuckle*

My bad!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 10/20/05 at 3:35 am


I was thinking that myself. There used to be a thread on here called "The Only Thread THat Matters" (which was kinda similar to "LTE"---which I have no interest in whatsoever), but it got deleted a while back. This thread, I guess, replaced it. :-\\


this was one of the replacement threads

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/20/05 at 8:47 am


Uhh... yeah.

*sheepish chuckle*

My bad!


That's right, Vulgar McRacialSlur!  And here you continue to offend, what with 'página's and '*sheepish chuckle*'s...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/20/05 at 9:05 pm

*ovine chortle*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/20/05 at 9:59 pm


*ovine chortle*


*giraffish silence*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/20/05 at 10:07 pm


*giraffish silence*


*begins Giraffish Park poster parody*

Nah, gotsta go to tutorials and lectures soon. Catch you in another time zone!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/23/05 at 10:31 pm


*begins Giraffish Park poster parody*

Nah, gotsta go to tutorials and lectures soon. Catch you in another time zone!


*lands with a thud on her arse in 'Pacific'*

Nice catch.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/23/05 at 11:35 pm


*lands with a thud on her arse in 'Pacific'*

Nice catch.


Ay, that ye be. ;)

One of the most terminally ill drops I've read in weeks:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=242598
Johnny 6 Feet, I salute thee!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/26/05 at 10:37 pm

I got woken at 8am this morning by Jehovah's witnesses... ironically having stayed up to about 2:30am watching the entire series of John Safran vs God, plus his exorcism... AND having a postcard for the Exorcism of Emily Rose on the living room table.
AAAAAAAAAND the pamphlet they gave me was titled 'Is the Devil real?' in giant red letters on the front.

Timely.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 10/27/05 at 2:24 pm


I got woken at 8am this morning by Jehovah's witnesses... ironically having stayed up to about 2:30am watching the entire series of John Safran vs God, plus his exorcism... AND having a postcard for the Exorcism of Emily Rose on the living room table.
AAAAAAAAAND the pamphlet they gave me was titled 'Is the Devil real?' in giant red letters on the front.

Timely.


And let me guess - between 2:30am and 8am, you were posessed by Legion. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/27/05 at 8:03 pm

No, that was after lunch. Legion has a busy schedule.

Oh. my. quality. At 1.30am there's the WOOOOORRRRRRRRRST game show in history on television. They flash up Year 8 maths problems on the screen (ie. those Mensa matchstick 'how many triangles in this shape?' ones) with a moronic surfer-boy host who takes caller's guesses until they get the right answer, where they'll win, like, eighty bucks, and then go on to the 'bonus round' where callers pick 3 numbers from a cheesy cardboard stand with 12 chintzily-swivelling blocks with a number behind them (only a 1 or a 2) to determine their 'bonus prize'... which can logically only be as much as $222, but I sincerely doubt the show's producers would be generous enough to hide three 2s behind the numbers. Wait, I've got two more stages of horrendous low-budgetness to go...

#1. The host will seriously go "OK, our next problem is 'how many houses in this shape'? (A house being comprised of four equilateral triangles creating a square, with a fifth acting as a 'roof') Gee, this a tough one, let's count them..." and then he'll SERIOUSLY stare at the shape for about HALF A MINUTE, then go "Well, I've got 16 so far, but I haven't turned my head on the side yet. There's probably lots more than that. Maybe you should trace out the shape and count them during the ad break, it'd be a lot easier turning a sheet of paper around and I can't turn the TV around so I need to stand on my head. That's so unfair."

#2. After over a dozen callers-in (most of them giving odd-number guesses of how many houses there were; OBVIOUSLY people, it's going to be an even number, and a multiple of 6 from the structuring of the shape) one check-out hag finally guessed correctly...
Lady: "Is it 72?"
Host: "Is it 72? Let's see... yes it is!"
Lady: "What? Really?"
So she went onto the final bonus round of the night. Pretty simple concept: Pick three numbers from 1-12 and there'll either be a 1, a 2, or the host's face. Three host's faces means $1000.
Host: "OK, so what numbers do you pick?"
Lady: "..."
Host: "..."
Lady: "...what?"
Host: "Just choose three numbers from the board. We're running out of time."
Lady: "Ummmmm... ... ...five."
Host: "OK, five. That's a 1. Two more to go."
Lady: "...what?"
Host: "Two more numbers between 1 and 12. Quickly now."
Lady: "Oh... ummm..."
Host: "...sorry, we're out of time. You'll have to catch us tomorrow night."
*shockingly awkward waving at camera with a smile plastered on his face for seconds on end as the credits roll* 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 10/28/05 at 3:39 am

And I thought daytime quiz shows in Britain were lame

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/30/05 at 6:45 pm

Oh, hey. I never said the show was that bad.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/01/05 at 9:16 pm

Friend 1: "I just walked past two guys who gave me a six-and-a-half and a five."
Friend 2: "What? Out loud?"
Friend 1: "Yeah."
Me: "Aw, you poor thing. Whenever I pass girls they always give me a nine... though they're usually German..."


Ha! They've just put up great new Bic advertisements on buses. Bic Australia doens't have a website (crustards) so I'll have to describe them.
#1: *redneck-lookin' guy in a radiation suit holding a shovel with his seven-fingered hand*
#2: *chick dressed up like a crash test dummy in a car alongside other dummies*
#3: *neon light-writing 'Girls Girls Girls', and underneath 'whose pens ran out during their exam'*
Basically they're proposing what underwhelming job prospects await those who place their final exams in the hands of inferior pen products.

...why did I find that so much funnier than it is? Uh-oh, looks like I'll have to resort to further in-joke experiences from the past few days.
*strains to push lantern towards Pat*
"Dammit, I can't hold a candle to you!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 11/02/05 at 3:15 am

When I saw the word Bic I thought it was an advert for disposable razors!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/02/05 at 5:36 pm

Oh karen, you should know that the pen is mightier than the blade.

http://www.treehugger.com/files/bic.jpg
(The same company makes razors for some obscure reason. Which could explain so many guys with white-out dotted across their chin...)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 11/02/05 at 5:46 pm


When I saw the word Bic I thought it was an advert for disposable razors!


Oh karen, you should know that the pen is mightier than the blade.

http://www.treehugger.com/files/bic.jpg
(The same company makes razors for some obscure reason. Which could explain so many guys with white-out dotted across their chin...)

I know that they make pens too. In fact, I once received a whole set of Bic ink pens and highlighters. And I still use Bic pens these days.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/04/05 at 12:02 am

SEMI-INTERESTING HEADLINE:

The apartment in which our music tutor was staying with his girlfriend gave way and collapsed into a tunnel that was being constructed underground.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200511/s1497424.htm

Their bed (as well as everything else) got swallowed up by the giant crater (which took 12 hours to be filled with cement)... including everybody's music essays! But, as I handed mine in days late, that means it gets marked by the head of course instead of my tutor... So, fifty or so people get to touch-up and resubmit their essays whilst mine gets marked by the cantankerous head of course! 
>:(FLAMING JUSTICE!!! >:(
*shakes fist at heavens*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/04/05 at 8:00 pm

EVEN MORE INTERESTING HEADLINE

You may have noticed me mentioning a certain 'Pat' before. (he looks like Angel from Buffy and is the spaceman/butler from my WASP photographs). Coincidentally, he shares his name with the actor from A Clockwork Orange, but soon imdb will have a new Patrick Magee to add to their stock... "whose performance has been described as the best young Australian film debut since Nicole Kidman’s."

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/34/9/2/O/34920801O420483103.jpg

http://www.afc.gov.au/filmsandawards/filmdbsearch.aspx?view=title&title=GENEXA&area=title&type=Feature&genre=Thriller

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 11/05/05 at 10:46 am

"whose performance has been described as the best young Australian film debut since Nicole Kidman’s."

So he's not very good then???

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/05/05 at 11:04 pm

No, he's slept with Tom Cruise.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: YWN on 11/05/05 at 11:07 pm


No, he's slept with Tom Cruise.


Haven't we all?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/09/05 at 1:30 am

When I'm Gone

What happens when you become the main source of her pain...
"Daddy look what I made!"
"Dad's got to go catch a plane."
"Daddy, where's Mommy, I can't find Mommy where is she?"
"I dont know. Go play, Hailie baby, your Daddy's busy.
Daddy's writing a song, the song ain't gonna write itself
I give you one underdog and you gotta swing by yourself."

Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her.


Awww, a fine continuance from Mockingbird and other Hailie-themed tracks from each of Eminem's albums. Can't wait for Curtain Call. *bobs excitedly*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/14/05 at 10:40 pm

Wanna hear how I almost died last week?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/14/05 at 11:51 pm

If it involves having an epileptic fit in your belated Halloween Kermit-the-Frog costume... then YES!

Can't have been that bad though, if it's only taken you a week to recover.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/15/05 at 6:52 pm

...oh. sweet. mercy.
You know over in the Potter thread how I wrote 'Exam Wednesday for a subject I have not looked at for the past six weeks'? It only just clicked when I woke up this morning that today is actually Wednesday. Although still in that frosmy state one is always in when first awaking, a formula wormed its way through my cerebral fog and rapped its cold, hard knuckles on my consciousness.
1. Luke's Logic exam is on Wednesday
2. Today is Wednesday
Hence
3. Luke's logic exam is today

A familiar sensation of blood draining completely from my body overtook me. Digging about through the piles of paper and crap in my room, I extracted my dishevelled diary and flipped to see what time this exam would be on. Surely it was the 1:50pm exam, right? Plenty of time to prepare and have two good meals in me prior to starting... Oh, it's at 9:30am. With a half-hour walk to uni, that provided me about forty minutes to go over 20 lectures worth of material.
*Deja vu*

All I can say is this: I would love to be a marker of one of my exams. Those pages document two hours of Brattonian brain power in action... a bizarre display of evolving thought processes as particular formulas are recalled halfway through the exam in which all previouS questions must be rewritten completely. There are obscure notes, there are pages of ovals from the pen running out time and time again, there are cartoons of me doing unspeakable things with stationery along the bottom of each page.
For every single question, there are unorthodox methods of explanation regarding how there is a particular rule required to come to a particular conclusion, I am just unable to recall what that rule is called, how it is represented in the formal language of quantification logic or whereabouts in the proof I am meant to sub it in. My booklet had about three times as much writing in it than any of the students at neighbouring tables... it's just that very little of it was related in any way to the course material.

I've said it before, but I guess I just keep continuing to raise (or is that lower?) the bar for myself.
WORST. EXAM. EVER.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/17/05 at 12:58 am

LAME.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42613

Australia's version of the Onion, the Chaser Annual, was much funnier last year regarding how POA was changed from an M to a PG rating down under. And it was simply: "Harry Potter PG-rating restored after cum shot deleted".

...hmm, shouldn't I have posted this in the other thread?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/20/05 at 1:36 pm

Ah, come on...this has got to be the most hardcore article I've ever seen.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42609

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/20/05 at 10:44 pm

OK, I hereby revoke all previous condemnation of US military. Where do I sign?

Gackbackawrgle... I shell out nearly $30 for the CNNNN DVD and they've got everything bar the Bonus Footage
free on the net!
This was much funnier back when Big Brother was new to the air, but is still a classic episode: Animal Farm


Wanna hear how I almost died last week?


Yes already! You can't dangle such a tempting sliver of cheese over my head and then not drop it!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/23/05 at 1:03 am

Damn, half the Flash stuff out there is better animated than crap like Lilo and Stitch. There should be a full-length Flash movie pitched to Hollywood.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/276841

This one's quick and hilarious:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/278299

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/23/05 at 11:45 am

Carbon monoxide poisoning. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/23/05 at 6:25 pm


Carbon monoxide poisoning.

...that cheese aint as palatable as it looked.
Carbon monoxide poisoning?  :o Wow. I assume it was somehow vehicle related?


By the way, how could your ultra-conservative US censorship board (who gave The Matrix an R rating... honestly...) give Wolf Creek a PG-13? Down here it's R18+, which means no-one under 18 can see it at all, even with an adult, due to graphic sexual violence based on events that happened in the outback to some backpackers a few years ago. And yet it's sitting there alongside GOF. I'm thinking the website I was looking at had it wrong.

Last episode of the year for the Glass House last night: so many laugh-out-loud moments:
Cassandra Magrath: You've got to give it to Paris Hilton, though. *pause* *shocked moment of realisation*
Wil Anderson: I don't think that's a law yet, it's more just joining on the end of the line.

Rhys Muldoon: I had an accident where my motorbike got totaled, and I was backstage for Play School with packs of ice around by groin. I mean, I literally took the petrol tank off with my balls, so...
Corinne Grant: I'm not a mechanic or anything, but shouldn't you have used a spanner?

http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/23/05 at 11:51 pm

Gas leak in our house.  Thought I had the flu until I passed out.

Whoopsies!  :D

Just saw GoF, so I'm a little too giddy to laugh at your previous post. 

GIDDY GIDDY GIDD.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/23/05 at 11:54 pm

Far Q. Far Q. Far Q. Far Q. Far Q. Far Q. Far Q. Far Q. Far Q.

...is it midnight over there now? The whole daylight savings thing has me completely flummoxed.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 11/24/05 at 3:48 am


Gas leak in our house.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/24/05 at 10:10 am

Luke - It sucks to be you! :P

Uh, no, it's oneleven fourteenteen.

karen - Nasty indeed.
         

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/24/05 at 8:07 pm


Gas leak in our house.

Hold up, I didn't properly process this the first time reading as I was hurrying off to an exam.
Is that from a gas heater or underground pipe thingy? And would it have epitomised smoking as bad for your health with an almighty FWOOM?

OK, need to do a bit o' contextising heeyarr.
1. Exams finished yesterday, so I'm kicked out of my loving guardians' place forever more.
2. They got two new dogs. Coco, and Chelsea, who is disabled so is used to get good parking spaces.
3. Despite numerous visits hinting at my severe abundance of available time, I haven't seen an hour's work from Target since August.
4. Which results in me not really having anywhere to stay for uni next year. Hmm. Probballemmatic.
...crap. now I forget what I was going to say which needed contextualising. Crap.
... ... oh, come on, it was two minutes ago! How can I have frosmed so prematurely? ... ... ...well, I'm stumped at what I was trying to get at. It'll probably come back to me in a few weeks' time.

At my birthday I bought a Double-Pass for Silver Class Seats at the Chatswood cinema, prempting the GOF release. I think I must have assumed I would have somebody to take by now. Guess it's just twice the popcorn, wine, and buttock room for me!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/24/05 at 9:46 pm

Gas heater and gas fireplace, really.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/24/05 at 10:32 pm

Did your note to school inform them that you were hospitalised, suffering from gas?
(...um, why do you Americans call petrol "gas"? I suppose you "conliquidate" together and get high on "happy solids", too.)

*loves you for it*

Disney World looks freaking amazing. Like, the amount of money that would have gone into all of the sets, animatronics and costumes is just... appreciate it, you impudent strumpet.


You can have wine in movie theaters?...you can have wine, period?!

Oh, that's right, your ultra-conservative government (whose average age of consent is five years after that of Chile... honestly...) has you poor bastards waiting until you're 21! Ha! This revelation somewhat soothes my GOF tantysulk.
As for New Zealand...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/26/05 at 12:38 am

What the hell is "petrol"?  If I didn't know any better I'd say it was the oily crap you put on your dog's neck to get rid of fleas and the like.

I'm envisioning my Disney World experience going something like this:

Emi: No, it's can't be. Can it be? Where have you been? Where have you been? Damn you!
Mr. Loca: Don't you talk to him that way!
Mickey Mouse: Uh...I'm here now. 
Emi: *laughs bitterly* And where were you ten years ago? Fifteen years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent young idiots you always come to? How dare you! How dare you come to me now, when I am this! *weeps*
Mickey Mouse: *slowly inches away, breaks into a run*
Emi: *solemnly* It's all right, I forgive you.

My scannage totally outdoes yours.  Look.  I'm on a...thingy.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/fourfliers.jpg

The John Deere-themed birthday cake I've made you in exchange for a certain lack of birthday parody.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/PC160008.jpg

*ponders the appropriate gloating gesture to insert here*

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/f23af06b.jpg

*oh, right...suh-WISH!*


Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/26/05 at 1:00 am

Right. Time to wheel out the big guns:

NONNA!
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/40/9/3/O/40930791O390059386.jpg


The John Deere-themed birthday cake I've made you in exchange for a certain lack of birthday parody.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/PC160008.jpg

Thanks. Dad made me a 'Jane Doe' cake, with "Ha! Now I have a legal excuse for not paying you any child support!" on it.


http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/EmilyKatie/f23af06b.jpg

You got Weasley twinnage? That's like a double-ball-swishness! I've yet to meet Radcliffe (as he's filming way down at South Australia), so will have to settle for the next coolest pair of twins: my... cousins.
Who... still... wear... matching... outfits... at... 16... years... of... age...
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/40/9/4/O/40947751O835864450.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/26/05 at 6:07 am

Sorry, I so rarely get to scan stuff that when I do it's in a giant wave of pixellated goodness.
The originals are in much better res:

Scrapped sketches for my Year 12 artwork:
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/40/9/8/O/40984240O692254551.jpg
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/40/9/8/O/40984240O692254551.jpg

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/40/9/8/O/40984249O551139782.jpg
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/40/9/8/O/40984249O551139782.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/26/05 at 2:30 pm

Ooh, nice arts.

... :o

Ooh, nice brother.

:D :D :D

ooOOoooh!  NICE NONNA!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/26/05 at 5:30 pm

Oh yeah, Nonna is a total fox. I have no idea who that old lady holding her is...

Whoopsidoodlinz, forgot to post these last night. My friend Geri (from the WASP play) got to do some modelling for a new Australian basketball magazine. Seems like everyone in that production is getting famous except me.  :\'(

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/dragonangelfairy/shiny.jpg
Um, guys, holding bodies together is to preserve warmth.

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/41/1/3/O/41139045O410749429.jpg
The newest in girl-belt technology.

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/41/1/3/O/41139056O716508614.jpg
"Hey, baby. Do those legs go all the way across?"

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/41/1/3/O/41139111O849817897.jpg
"Wow, Geri looks great in that Puma top."
"Huh? Puma great what?"

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/41/1/4/O/41140235O529279886.jpg
I don't have the heart to tell her what's graffitied on the wall behind her.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/26/05 at 6:20 pm

Oh God...first Hotgranny, then this?!?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/27/05 at 1:46 am

"octopus \`oc 'to`pus\ n. An eight-tentacled sea creature, belonging to the mollusk family. Uses suction cups on the underside of its tentacles to crawl around and grip prey. Has a soft shell. When frightened, squirts black ink and darts away quickly. When angered, skin flushes with pigments which turn it a reddish color. Color of octopus sometimes depends on surroundings."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's hilarious!!!

Pity about that 'grilled cheese' example... Geri hates it when people spell her name with a 'J'.
Hmm, the definition for 'Emily B.' is interesting. I see you're playing your cards right.

...I just realised that my ingeniously original and creative idea of parodying the dictionary has been thwarted by twelve year olds who use SMS-style spelling in every style of writing they engage in. Drattikins.


Sorry Luke, I don't care how many women you shove in my face


:o
Um, 'kay.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/27/05 at 6:25 pm


Hmm, the definition for 'Emily B.' is interesting. I see you're playing your cards right.


Er...I'm definitely not "Emily B".  I'm "Emily Silk".  :(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/27/05 at 7:33 pm

Yecch. 'Silk'? I see why you've kept your surname concealed all this time.

Combining the definitions of 'Nib' and 'Oswald' is truly amusing.
But enough dictionarying... I've F-I-N-A-L-LY dug up a hard copy of my original Hairy Potted cover after being unable to find the original Paint file.
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/41/3/9/O/41392353O807697276.jpg

Though I still can't find the colour original of this gem I whipped up in 2002:
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/41/3/9/O/41396446O897371761.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 11/27/05 at 11:38 pm

Oh jeez, the word "silk" just brings back the best of memories from International Week O'Fun.   

French exchange student:  "Your American word 'phoque'?  French word 'silk'."

Polite Student Embassador Emi: "Oh, um, c'est bien."

French exchange student: "Okay.  Okay, no.  No, like, live in the jungle, eat poisson, eat, ah, fish."

Emi: "Uh...oui.  I will go...do that, then." 

French exchange student: "No, I mean, I mean, go like this:" 

*French exchange student kneels in front of Emi with his arms outstretched, clapping his hands together and barking*

"Is PHOQUE!"


The French...

.


.


.


.


.


...are awesome.

*claps unenthusiastically for Luke's gems*  ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/28/05 at 12:43 am

;D Well, he certainly gets my phoque of approval, though I hear that what most French guys do on their knees is worthy of applause... or was that getting the clap?

Whilst still on the subject of me rifling through old boxes of packed-up-edness whilst movin' on out, I dug out a postcard from 'Baby got back' Hayley when she lived in Lyon. (piccy... piccy... aha! piccy!)
http://photo.tickle.com/image/40/9/2/O/40929111O984725817.jpg
I think I only agreed to go out with her in Year 9 after she got a hot crew cut.
In retrospect, she looked a lot like Eminem... hmmmm...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/28/05 at 11:35 pm

Single word GoogleImageWhack: "mulligrub"

I was looking for this godawful television show that I used to love watching (along with Monkey Magic. I never realised it was dubbed until years later) but they cut it from the air in the really early nineties.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 11/29/05 at 3:58 am


Single word GoogleImageWhack: "mulligrub"

I was looking for this godawful television show that I used to love watching (along with Monkey Magic. I never realised it was dubbed until years later) but they cut it from the air in the really early nineties.


Monkey Magic.  Is that the thing with a monkey a pig and another one with a prince (or princess possibly) journeying across some mountains?  The prince can control Monkey by giving him bad headaches.  Monkey did some weird war cry type of thing by blowing on two fingers.  Classic Friday tea time viewing.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 11/30/05 at 11:52 pm

Pig... yeah, that rings a bell. A pig with a pitchfork and a guy with sideburns with some sort of scythe thing. And Monkey surfed a cloud. And there was a really bad female villain like that one from Power Rangers.
Ah, nostalgia.

I've just been introduced into the world of Dr Who by Pat. Some of it I find hilariously laughable, the rest I can see how it got to cult status. Favourite quote delivered in a completely serious tone:
"I can take an insult, I just don't want to be shot."

And this brilliance by Shakespeare is going in my cerebral insult bank:
"Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese. "

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/02/05 at 10:54 pm

She

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/04/05 at 10:18 pm

Combine

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/08/05 at 11:21 pm

DonnieDarko.com is cooool. Cool enough to wear glasses.  8)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/10/05 at 8:44 am

Huh.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/10/05 at 11:30 pm

Wow, such deep insight into the past 11 days there, Emz. The denouement was especially touching.

Woot, I've got about three parodies to write and learn by Wednesday night for the end-of-year Christmas Cabaret, as well as two chorus parts. And rap battles due. I must be the most efficient train passenger in Sydney, I get about 4 hours of writing in per day.
As WASP director James would say: "Efficient."

Pfft. My sibling's blog is so much better than yourses.
"am having impotency problems...tried playboy, penthouse and even gardening australia..no change...oh blog what shood i do?..and please blog, dont show this message to anyone..thanks...i love you"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/11/05 at 11:54 pm


Wow, such deep insight into the past 11 days there, Emz.


I wasn't the one who talked to myself for 11 days. 

God, I am so drugged up right now I could eat a nickel.  They've put me on all sorts of pain relief since my back started spazzing out again, and now I'm flopping around much like a rag doll while slurring my sentences and even drooling a little. 

On a better note, I had the midwest vocal competition today, and accompanying me on the program was the HIGH SCHOOL 11th GRADE EQUIVALENT TO JOSH GROBAN AND ANDREA BOCCELLI'S LOVE CHILD - and he goes to the public school only a mile away from mine. My jaw hit the floor so many times it triggered a small tsunami in Japan.  To follow that up was extremely nerve-racking, but I ended up with a 90+ score and advanced to finals with Sir Wow - who introduced himself during downtime and bought me dessert at Delice.  ;D

So, after performing at finals and swooning over his rendition of O Del Mio Amato Ben, he asked for my phone number mere nanoseconds before I was announced first runner-up.  I came back to my seat, biting my lip so hard that blood gushed all down my dress, and we both waited for his name to be announced.  Which...didn't happen.  Unfortunately for him, the tweety soprano soloist got the scholarship, he got nothing, and he didn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

Boo, hiss.

To top it all off, he sent me this revolting email.

"Yes, I was extremely proud of you.  You were so very stressed out before the concert and I saw your nervousness at the Center this afternoon as you paced back and forth repeating your lines.  Your "nervous fingers" need to be contained as time progresses - but for now is fine.  Your performace, even with the few mistakes, was outstanding.
It seems to me that I am one of the better singers at the convention.  However, the only disappointment I will relay to you is that I believe I deserved at least second runner up, whereas the flute-toned soprano and you could have easily been happy with the position of finalist.
Hopefully we can see each other again!"


...I'll show you "nervous fingers".

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/12/05 at 2:01 am


I wasn't the one who talked to myself for 11 days.


Hey, the 'Views' counter was always higher each time I came to post, so someone was reading.


Dude, didn't you keep re-visiting the same thread over and over to give yourself the illusion that someone was reading your posts?

Dude, shut up. And stop time-travelling.


My back started spazzing out again, and now I'm flopping around much like a rag doll while slurring my sentences and even drooling a little...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 12/12/05 at 4:22 am


Hey, the 'Views' counter was always higher each time I came to post, so someone was reading.



It was me.  I've been reading, just not found anything comment-worthy recently!!




So, after performing at finals and swooning over his rendition of O Del Mio Amato Ben, he asked for my phone number mere nanoseconds before I was announced first runner-up.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/12/05 at 12:00 pm


It was me.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/12/05 at 4:15 pm

Oh, so as soon as Emi's got news to share, you jump back onto the commenting bandwagon?
Well, karen, I know when I'm not wanted! (24/7)
*huffily tears up wanted posters*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/12/05 at 5:14 pm

Well, frankly, Luke, I drive the commenting bandwagon. 

*hydroplanes*

God, I hate driving in the rain...when it turns into snow...when it turns into HAIL. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/12/05 at 9:52 pm

That sounds like a great start to a children's book.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 12/13/05 at 3:27 am


That sounds like a great start to a children's book.


what, this?


Well, frankly, Luke, I drive the commenting bandwagon.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/13/05 at 11:36 am


That sounds like a great start to a children's book.


Yes, it does.  There is a sentence fragment on every following page...i.e.

"...when it turns into a BLIZZARD..."

*accompanying illustration of blinded Emi swerving across an intersection*

"...when it turns into FIREBALLS..."

*accompanying illustration of a confused Emi looking out the window.  Speech bubble - "Huh?"*

"...when it turns into HUMAN CADAVERS..."

*accompanying illustration of the decaying body of a Scotsman smashing into the windshield*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/13/05 at 6:10 pm

Right, that's gonna be your Chrissy prezzy. I'll get cracking on it after doing the forty odd Chrissy carrddiez for the rest of the musical folk for tonight's final Christmas Cabaret performance.
(I chickened out doing Jack the Rapper, sticking to my bassybassbass Hummer Boy tune and then Violent Night interrupting the girls' angelic rendition of Silent Night...and a random skit Pat makes me do to introduce his improv tune "A Few Of God's Mistakes" in which he outlines the various stupid animals around today and how God should have made flying sharks)

Me: You'll never create life in that... that POKEY little laboratory, Dr TOM GRAY! (coincidentally his name in the movie he stars in)
Pat: Don't you tread on my dreams!
Me: I'll see YOU at the science fair! *nerdy cackle*

Relevance to his song:

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/15/05 at 6:36 am

:D  Nice.

I unwittingly tattooed myself with sulfuric acid yesterday.  It made a little pink flower shape on my bicep.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/15/05 at 3:47 pm

Well, everyone knows that sulfuric acid is the main ingredient in skybluepink nail polish.

Some nice Cabaret moments: (Pat MC'ed)
Pat: Christmas time is upon us once more, ladies and gentleman. You know, a recent survey indicated that 8 out of 10 children would like a puppy for Christmas. So all of you out there who were planning on a nice Christmas turkey this year may wish to reconsider...

Female Choir: Streams of blood fly in spurts. Hit the floor...
Me, adorned in emo makeup: ...or get HUUUURRRRT!
*distorted guitar mashing as I run up screaming to the crowd before collapsing on my knees and panting like an asthmatic cougar*
Me, channelling the voice of Satan: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
*is blinded by lights for about ten seconds as crowd applaud*
*turns to jump back onto the mini-stage on set*
*cannot see anything in the darkness and ends up kicking the mini-stage with shin. Hard. Bruised gash on leg starts bleeding*
Female Choir: ROFLMAO

*following thunderous applause for Witless Hummer Boy:*
Pat: Luke Brattoni, ladies and gentleman! For Luke's next project, he'll be parodying the dictionary.
*appreciative laugh from audience*
Pat: That... that wasn't a gag.

Me: You'll never create life in that... that POKEY little laboratory, Dr TOM GRAY!
Pat: Don't you tread on my dreams!
Me: I'll see YOU at the science fair! *nerdy cackle*
Pat: *extemporised operatic tune*
Oh God, how is it up there?
You live in a castle up in the clouds.
I'd like to go up there one day,
And take a look around.
I'd go to your invention room,
...but I'd find something missing...

God, you've created some pretty useless stuff.
Like the springbok.
The springbok!
Oh God, why the springbok?!
And the hedgehog,
Almost genetically identical to the por-cu-pine!

So God, I have just one question for you.
Why didn't you invent sharks...
...
...
...
...sharks that can FLYYY?!!
Sharks in the sky!
Sharks up so HIIIGH!
We'd run and hide from the sharks in the sky...

*random girl walks up to mic*
We can see them if we try-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yyyyyyy!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/17/05 at 9:52 pm

Didn't I have a little feminist Bratz-related rant back in June or July sometime?
Anyway, it's taken the print media 6 months to catch on to what foul little blobs of plastic they are.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/in-depth/ho-ho-ho-its-the-bratz-pack/2005/12/15/1134500959011.html

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/21/05 at 11:35 am

Bleugh.  Saw the Bratz Rock Angelz movie with the kids I was babysitting and was revolted.  Seriously malicious actions and constant use of petty insults.  Plus, a character is recognized by her nose job. 

"What's a nose job, Emily?"

"It's when you get surgery to make your nose look better."

"Mom, I want a nose job!"

Shoot me in the face.  This is a six year old

Just got all my Christmas shopping done, now I have to pack for Florida.  I'll take lots of pictures. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: agrimorfee on 12/21/05 at 3:52 pm

As our holidays does approach us, I would like to share with you that I and Mrs. Agrimorfee, married for 6 years, have recently discovered that we are with child. :o

I close my responses to the board until 12/27, hoping that you and yours have the same feelings of happiness and positive expectations that we two are having here in Chi-town.

Peace all!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 12/21/05 at 4:17 pm


As our holidays does approach us, I would like to share with you that I and Mrs. Agrimorfee, married for 6 years, have recently discovered that we are with child. :o

I close my responses to the board until 12/27, hoping that you and yours have the same feelings of happiness and positive expectations that we two are having here in Chi-town.

Peace all!

Wow...congratulations to you and your wife, Agrimorfee! :) And merry xmas to ya. ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/21/05 at 7:57 pm

It took you six years to realise there's been a kid running around your house?  ;)

Congratulations to you and Mrs Agrimorfee! Have a great holiday season!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/25/05 at 12:08 am

Congratulations, Agrimorfee!  Can't say I was quite as happy as you were when I realized I had a child...and I wasn't even sure if the baby was mine...

Happy Holidays, and the best of wishes to you and your wife!  :-*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/26/05 at 10:20 am

What did everyone get for Christmahannakwanzaaka?  I wanna whine to my parents that all my online friends got better presents than I did.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: agrimorfee on 12/27/05 at 7:54 am


What did everyone get for Christmahannakwanzaaka?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 12/27/05 at 8:48 am


As our holidays does approach us, I would like to share with you that I and Mrs. Agrimorfee, married for 6 years, have recently discovered that we are with child. :o

I close my responses to the board until 12/27, hoping that you and yours have the same feelings of happiness and positive expectations that we two are having here in Chi-town.

Peace all!


Best wishes to the three of you. Let us know if the babys first word is "AmIRight". :-)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 12/27/05 at 1:47 pm


What did everyone get for Christmahannakwanzaaka?  I wanna whine to my parents that all my online friends got better presents than I did.


I did not do as well as agrimorfee, I only got $25 in gift cards and an Excalibur replica sword for the wall.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 12/28/05 at 2:10 pm


What did everyone get for Christmahannakwanzaaka?  I wanna whine to my parents that all my online friends got better presents than I did.


You know the iPod you got awhile back...I got the upgrade on that  :P  Okay, it was a Palm Pilot, but if you want to whine to your parents, go with the iPod.  And $75 worth of Starbucks gift cards, which might last a month. 

Agrimorfee...congratulations!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 12/28/05 at 11:35 pm


You know the iPod you got awhile back...I got the upgrade on that :P Okay, it was a Palm Pilot, but if you want to whine to your parents, go with the iPod.  And $75 worth of Starbucks gift cards, which might last a month. 

Agrimorfee...congratulations!

And I got a $40 Starbucks gift card last year which I still haven't used yet! :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: jreuben on 12/29/05 at 6:45 am


And I got a $40 Starbucks gift card last year which I still haven't used yet! :o


I'll give you 50 bucks for it  :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 12/29/05 at 2:37 pm

I got mostly gift cards from my friends...for Starbucks, iTunes *grumble@Jeff*, Krispy Kreme (?), and various clothing outlets I frequent...in addition to a conspicuous bottle labelled "sex lotion".  My parents kept prezzies to a minimum this year - due to our extravagant vacation plans, of course. 

I'll have piccies for when we get back - hopefully my skin will be 3 shades darker and my hair 3 shades lighter come January 5th.  Happy New Year, all!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/29/05 at 11:02 pm

Chronicles of Blarnia, shirt, a collection of Hitchcock DVDs, CD gift coucher (Curtain Call here I come), Mum's traditional giant sack of Simpsons pyjamas/toiletries/socks/hankies/underwear etc.

And another loving family argument after our stepsiblings had been herded off to their father's place.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 12/31/05 at 12:42 am


I'll give you 50 bucks for it  :P

Sure...come to Californy and it's all yours >:D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/31/05 at 8:47 pm

Gah! New Year smileys!
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\\ :-* :\'(

I spent mine on Garden Island, about 300m straight up the harbour from the Bridge and Opera House, with an open view of the fireworks display.
Right beside where I was sitting was a gated-off area where some film was being shot. A poor group of seven or so models had to chat cheerfully for a few seconds and then all hug as fireworks went off in the background. Then they had to get back into initial starting positions and do the same little ten-second sketch again. And again. And again. For the entire fifteen minute display.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 12/31/05 at 11:48 pm

In true uni essay style, I hand this in 6 days late:

I HATE DRIVING
by EmiLoca Bratterson


I hate driving in the rain
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/49/9/9/O/49995330O291714647.jpg

When it turns into snow
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/50/3/7/O/50371481O248560708.jpg

I hate driving late at night
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/51/6/4/O/51640325O799935639.jpg

When it turns all art nouveau
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/51/6/4/O/51641620O231127487.jpg

I hate driving at peak hour
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/50/4/2/O/50426316O436819289.jpg

When it turns Tarantino
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/52/1/0/O/52101384O245620535.jpg

I hate driving when it's hot
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/50/4/0/O/50409854O242548740.jpg

But most of all, I hate my beau.
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/52/1/1/O/52112379O220931362.jpg

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 01/01/06 at 10:32 am


Gah! New Year smileys!
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\\ :-* :\'(



Hehe...aren't they great? O0 ^-^ >:D (Those last three are "hidden", btw)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 01/02/06 at 5:07 pm

...and now the emoticons are bald, once again. :-\\


Btw, happy new year to all you guys! :) I normally hang out in the Playful Penguin Place and Penguin Boardgames forums, but I sometimes like to come here and post on this thread. :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Guest on 01/02/06 at 5:51 pm


Hehe...aren't they great? O0 ^-^ >:D (Those last three are "hidden", btw)

Oh I see... I guess you have to type O0 and ^-^ and >:D to get them to work? (hits preview button)

Wow!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: d on 01/05/06 at 12:26 pm

Afro  Azn  Evil

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/06/06 at 6:38 pm

Ohh, I get it... Black people, Asian people and White people.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/07/06 at 10:44 am

Wow, Luke...truly some spiffy, children's book splendor up there! 

I hate to say it, but the graphic representation of Emi Thurman was impeccable.

Damn it, now I have to come up with something equally phenomenal for YOUR Christmas-In-July present...ooh.  I know.  I just got a microphone from Best Buy.  *sinister laughter*  Alas, with my schedule (trying to get college credit absolutely SUCKS in public schools) (plus I got the lead in the musical  ;D)  (plus I'm still getting used to a thick pair of emo glasses I have to wear until I can get an ulcer removed from my eye), you can expect it by NEXT July. 

My New Years was spent at Epcot, hopping from one laser-rave to the next and taking advantage of the short lines at Test Track, then gazing wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the stunning fireworks display that lasted from 11:30 to 12 midnight, and predictably getting showered by the ashen shells from the fireworks. 

Just got our pictures developed, and shouldn't be long until I can scan them in and show you all what a Disney-riffic SeaWorld-spiffic time I had. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Johnny_D on 01/07/06 at 12:01 pm



(plus I got the lead in the musical  ;D) 



Congratulations, Emi.  Tell us all about it, please!  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/08/06 at 2:47 am

Maybe if you hadn't strained your vision so much over all the lurid Disney lights and New Year sparkles of Epcot, you wouldn't have a blimmin' great corneal ulcer now, would you?
Wait a minute... an ulcer in your eye? OOO-OOO-OOOW!!! You poor thing!
I've heard that you can greatly reduce the pain simply by sending a pic of yourself wearing aforementioned emo glasses to my email address, quicksmart! It's the only known cure!

Failing that, I will just patiently sit and wait for a recording of one of your big solo numbers (is your lead role Annie? Do-ray-Maria? Anna Leonowens? ... ...you're Annie, aren't you.) followed by an audio rendition of your sinister laugh. Remixed. Strong Bad-esque style.

*tries in vain to peck graphic representation of Emi Thurman*
Wow, you were right!

Blimming heckleberries, Bankstown train line is closed for another two weeks for repairs. So I have to get up early, wait for a bus from Nonna's to Bankstown station, wait for a bus there from Bankstown to Lidcombe, then get the Lidcombe train to Strathfield, then change lines and wait there for a train to Epping, then wait for a bus from Epping to the Macquarie Shopping Centre where I work. Often for 7am starts!!! And then back again in the afternoon, when buses and trains run even LESS FREQUENTLY!!! I've slept around more than Paris Hilton this past fortnight.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/08/06 at 2:56 am

^Ahem. By that last comment, I was implying that I have been sleeping over at a number of different friends' places... I was NOT inferring that I've been making home videos with flatmates.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/09/06 at 6:24 pm

Yeah.  Sure.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/10/06 at 1:41 am

What's with the groovy new inthe00s icon?

Is it changing colour?  :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 01/10/06 at 3:15 am


What's with the groovy new inthe00s icon?

Is it changing colour?  :o


Suggest you check out this thread to get the full discussion.

There is also another thread in PPP for you to suggest a tag line.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/11/06 at 3:33 am

Groovin'. Some nice tag line ideas there. I'll go with:
"InThe00s.com: where YOU are the motto!"
*Uncle Sam smiley underneath*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/14/06 at 8:57 pm

inthe00s: where the motto is just as initially cryptic as the name.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/15/06 at 7:24 pm

Returned from a grandiose mum's-side-of-the-family get-together in Victoria for a combined 17th/30th/40th for my brother, cousin and uncle respectively. My uncle's 20 month-old baby twins are sooo cute (boy and girl) and I have Jorja as the background on my phone after she reached up to grab it whilst I was taking a photo of the two together; so it's just her giant face looking directly out from the screen. And since the phone always shows what town one is currently in, she gets a variety of different moustaches according to how long the town name is. (She makes a cute Hitler in towns like 'Ryde'.)

I'll try and get pics from my cousins to post up. Especially the hilarity of my drunken uncle battle-dancing my brother in 'The Zone' (a chalked-off area in the garage... hillbilly music over the speakers... loooong story...)

"I hate driving in my glasses when they look so damn emo."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/16/06 at 6:24 pm

:o
OK, make that guy's eyes about four times larger, and his jaw dropping to the floor and you have my expression whilst watching "Sister, My Sister" on ABC free-to-air TV last night, based on a true story.
The first hour and a half was your everyday innocent Secret Garden/Picnic At Hanging Rock-esque story of a younger sister joining her older sister as a maid in a rich British house (with Julie Walters playing a delicious widow and some random unkown as a brilliant toady daughter holed up in her pampered existence) Over time, the innocent brushing of hair/playing with clothes/sharing a bed between the two sisters grows into scenes of awkward sexual tension, and after a while... the film 'went there'.
Cue Mr Jawdrop.
I wouldn't have been as surprised if it was SBS airing the film, but ABC?! (albeit at 11:30pm) This is the station for Bob the Builder, Playschool and Saddle Club fer cryin' out loud! Anyway, the film had gorgeous cinematography throughout and was so clever in the way it nudged the relationship between the two sisters from innocent to sexual, with the rich daughter's curiosity always in the background. And there a no male characters in the film- a photographer speaks his entire dialogue from behind camera and a judge's voice-over plays at the end of the film on a psychotic freezeframe (the ending's a cracker.)
I suggest playing it to a guy and watch his eyes slowly droop over his lids for the first half, then quickly prick up as he thinks "Hey, were those two just about to kiss?" then slowly droop down again and then prick up as he thinks "Woah, she's undressing in front of her sister. HOT." then slowly droop down again when he realises this is one of those films where you don't see past the voluminous 1930s undergarments... and then watch his eyes bulge and stay bulging in sudden horror for the rest of the film.   

Luke: *gets off phone*
Nonno: *indecipherable Croatian*
Luke: Hmm?
Nonno: *indecipherable Croatian*
Luke: Um, I ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH.
Nonno: Lynette?
Luke: *sigh* Uh... SI, ERA LYNETTE... erm, 'A' TELEFONO...
Nonno: *indecipherable Croatian*
Luke: ... Nonna! Help!
Nonna: *enters*
Nonno: *indecipherable Croatian*
Nonna: *indecipherable Croatian*
Nonno: *indecipherable Croatian*
Nonna: Mama mia carta della!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/16/06 at 6:47 pm

Meh, I watched Grey's Anatomy.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/17/06 at 2:58 am

:o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/18/06 at 11:31 pm

Oh!  Oh Oh Oh!  Oh Oh Oh!  Oh Oh OHHHHH!!!

Sandra OH! of Grey's Anatomy, the second-hottest Asian in the Western Hemisphere, won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a series. 

I'll bet she got teased as a child.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/18/06 at 11:50 pm


Oh!  Oh Oh Oh!  Oh Oh Oh!  Oh Oh OHHHHH!!!


Well, now I know whose poster I should glue to the ceiling above our bed...


Sandra OH! of Grey's Anatomy, the second-hottest Asian in the Western Hemisphere


Yeah, Margaret Cho so totally takes the cake. Especially when she's talking dirty. About violating eggbeaters and the like.


I'll bet she got teased as a child.


"Sandra Sandra, girl philanderer!"

That's all the potential schoolyard witticism I could work out of someone called 'Oh'.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/19/06 at 3:33 pm


Well, now I know whose poster I should glue to the ceiling above our bed...


Right next to Nonna's, right?


Yeah, Margaret Cho so totally takes the cake. Especially when she's talking dirty. About violating eggbeaters and the like.


Grumblegrumble...I made that damn cake...grumble...cakes...

Musical practice definitely taking its toll on poor Mi.  Nasal hispanic woman doing the music, bearded gay prostitute doing the staging.  Oh yes, and the UGLIEST 27 YEAR OLD MAN IN THE UNITED STATES, who is already frickin' BALD and married an EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BALLERINA LAST MONTH while giving her TUBA LESSONS...he's directing the pit orchestra. 

Oh, and the poop-flavored icing on this cake of shame?

We're doing "Joseph".  I'm the Studly Sequinned Narrator.  :-[

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/19/06 at 9:09 pm


Right next to Nonna's, right?


Don't be daft, that poster's Jessica Alba, silly! You must have mistaken the two.
(The amount of autographers I had to fend off when taking Nonna on a date to Sin City...)


Grumblegrumble...I made that damn cake...


With an eggbeater?  ::)


'Mi'?... I like the progressive shortening of what only started out as a five-letter name to begin with.
You do the SMS Generation proud.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0793508398/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-7820684-4635865#reader-page
I tried finding the Joseph script online, and wouldn't you know it- enquiries for getting permission to perform the play in Australia are at Talavera Road, North Ryde- right next to my blimmin university! Ob-vi-ous-ly a sign for you to come to Macquarie after your schooling to perform a stunning reprise for Dramac.


I'm the Studly Sequinned Narrator.   :-http://www.mugglenet.com/cc/06/images/jan15caption.jpg
"I'm sorry, but we've already filled the Caucasian, Mongoloid, Negroid and Hispanic positions of our clique... we can only accept centaurs, mermen or Half-Blood Squibs at this time."

(Following from last week's caption) The Ravenclaws, however, display a perfect synchronised looking-at-tennis-ball routine.

Cho: Now, Harry, you just attach the bungee cord to your feet and... Harry? Where'd Harry go?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/19/06 at 11:54 pm

Hey, that blue baby pillow DID scar me for life.  Mommy's postpartum depression led her to stuff all my pillows with silverware and fill the lining of my blankets with staples.  It only took her two months to realize I had a paring knife where my nose was supposed to be. 

Why don't YOU fly up HERE and witness the glorious blow-the-entire-music-department-budget-for-a-giant-model-of-the-sphinx production instead of insisting I don my khaki bermuda shorts and trek to Lukeland for a musical reprise that will probably never happen

Lazynibbles.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 01/20/06 at 12:26 am

interesting. i just discovered this thread and the first post on it mentions conspiracy theories and then this last post mentions conspiracies. that seems suspicious.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 01/20/06 at 12:29 am


interesting. i just discovered this thread and the first post on it mentions conspiracy theories and then this last post mentions conspiracies. that seems suspicious.

This thread is used mostly by the folks who post parodies on the amiright.com web site. I don't make any parodies; however, I have been a regular visitor to that site for almost six years (in just three months it'll be 6 years, in fact), and I discovered this message board through that site just a little over three years ago. I sometimes read it to see what everyone else is up to. Glad you could join us, Tia! ;)

I don't know anything about conspiracy theories; that just doesn't interest me a great deal. We do talk about various things on here, though.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/20/06 at 12:31 am

*looks back over past month of sleeping at Pat's, Frieda's, Deb's, Lindsey's, Lucy's, Luke's and Jen's, not to mention the train stations, bust stops, parks and parking lots*
*looks forth to upcoming uni fees, books and college rent which will suck up past month of acquired wages in one fell swoop*
Wow, you're right. I'm obviously jay-kay-rolling in dosh at the moment to splash out on a transhemispheric jaunt.
Sillyoldme.


Mommy's postpartum depression led her to stuff all my pillows with silverware and fill the lining of my blankets with staples. 

Postpartum? That is honestly the first time I have ever seen that word used outside of a textbook. I think we only use 'postnatal' down here in Lukeland.

I cannot see myself ever getting tired of Strong Bad's emails. Ass-off-chortling-of-my at every update.
"I'm here to try out for the jazz ensemble." -saw it coming and still hacked up my long intestine laughing.

Pat's sister was a right cerebral trauma to anagram, due to having a baptism-name added to her other two middle-names.
For your challenge- try and figure out what her name is from the anagram!
I'VE NEVER EATEN UGLY CHEESE IMAGES
On a completely unrelated note, I love these animated shorts (with Aussie narrator this time!)
http://www.skary.net/movies/genevievemovie.html
And these sites are also... convenient...
http://www.theresemovie.com/
http://www.sian.com/
http://www.lucy.com/

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/20/06 at 9:23 pm

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Sweet lawdy, that is gold.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/22/06 at 11:35 am


http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Sweet lawdy, that is gold.


What is with the sudden Chuck Norris fanaticism?!?  I've received that same URL accompanied by "OMG, this is awesome!" in seven different emails. The emcees at our show choir competition told Chuck Norris facts.  The frickin' LOCAL PAPER did a "social interest" column about Chuck Norris...

I don't know what to think.  I think I'll just resurrect a dead lamb and roundhouse kick it in the face.

*death*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: tmayfield on 01/23/06 at 6:06 pm


interesting. i just discovered this thread and the first post on it mentions conspiracy theories and then this last post mentions conspiracies. that seems suspicious.


I would normally agree, but then even MORE suspicious is that the first post was by EmiLoca and the post just before yours was by EmiLoca as well.  That's much more suspicious!!

Especially taking into account that Luke has posted at least twice as many messages...  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 01/23/06 at 6:09 pm


I would normally agree, but then even MORE suspicious is that the first post was by EmiLoca and the post just before yours was by EmiLoca as well.  That's much more suspicious!!

Especially taking into account that Luke has posted at least twice as many messages...   ;D


I've noticed that the two of them have accounted for at least 95% of the replies on here. :-\\

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/23/06 at 7:29 pm

get hath path fest rotten hapless married 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Guest 6862 on 01/24/06 at 1:19 pm


get hath path fest rotten hapless married 


What does that mean? ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/24/06 at 6:52 pm

Sorry, I was trying to anagram 'Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads' into a legible sentence but had to sprint off to work before I could finish.
(And just so happen to have to do it again right now!)  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 01/24/06 at 7:59 pm

Wow, that was definitely legible

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 01/25/06 at 3:40 am


get hath path fest rotten hapless married 


Maybe rearranged it might make more sense.  say,

hath get married rotten hapless path fest?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/26/06 at 1:41 am


Maybe rearranged it might make more sense.  say,

hath get married rotten hapless path fest?


Now that is legible!  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/26/06 at 7:09 pm

So far everyone I've told about my new shared accomodation says that I should turn it into a sitcom.

*Retired fat white landlord downstairs with his third wife, an Asian lady called Orchid who's twenty years younger than him
*Carlos, a Spanish immigrant who works security at night and sleeps all day, so is NEVER EVER SEEN
*Tristan, a freaky mid-thirties weedy fellow who I can only assume is a paedophile by his demeanour
*John, a jovial tubby Yorkshire engineer in his forties
*Don't-know-his-name-yet, a mid-twenties geek who looks like Matt Stone and never leaves his computer
*Don't-know-his-name-yet, a guy who moved in a week before I did, so I haven't seen him yet either
*And, of course, ME.

Tristan (with a voice somewhere between 'freaky-mode' Will Ferrell and Gollum): So, are you staying the night?
Me: Oh no, I've been working the back dock all day and then I had to walk all the way up here, so I'm really sweaty and don't have a change of clothes.
Tristan: Well, you've paid for the fortnight. You should stay.
Me: I don't have any sheets or anything.
Tristan: I have some spare sheets you could use.
Me: ??? Sorry, my grandparents are expecting me back tonight, they've probably already put dinner on for me.
Tristan: There's some goulash in the fridge you could heat up.
Me: :-\\ *help, it's the-weirdo-who-gave-me-that-lift-and-wouldn't-shut-up-about-having-sex-with-virgins-the-whole-time all over again*
--TEN MINUTES AND ONE WOLFED BOWL OF GOULASH LATER--
Me: *on phone to no-one as Tristan enters kitchen* Yeah, I just had dinner... uh-huh... oh, was that TONIGHT?!! Alright, sure, I'll just get the train back now. Okay, bye.
Sorry, I've got to get back to go to my uncle's for his birthday.
Tristan: Oh, that's fine. Whatever you want.
Me: *WHATEVER I WANT? YOU WENT OUT OF YOUR WAY TO CUT DOWN EVERY EXCUSE I COULD THINK OF TEN MINUTES AGO!* Cool. See ya.





Aaaaaaand check out this little parody guy. His 'Wonka's Door' one handles the rapping bit in the middle really well.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=423562

'The Elephant Can't Control Himself'... two minutes of nonstop laughing in fear and confusion.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 01/30/06 at 11:22 pm

GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE
Sweet mercy, I can't remember when I was last in tears of laughter. (OK, South Park was on just before it, but before that...)

It's the computer geek guy from The Office (who has the Bruce Lee arguments with Gareth) and is half documentary, half cheesy 80s drama as it cuts from the current Garth Marenghi talking about the show he made from one of his horror books and then the relevant excerpts from each episode. There's a greasy Latino guy who's voice is poorly dubbed with an American accent, a hilarious black guy who can't act, a stereotypical blonde bombshell with a bouffant 'do and the editing is all done brilliantly to make it look like a Dr Who episode gone wrong. 

http://www.garthmarenghi.com/canon.htm
It's the year 2050 and everyone can choose the perfect baby. Blue eyes, blond hair, and calcium-rich blood. Everyone, that is, who can pay. (Many people can't pay). The West Country's most beautiful woman, Silvie Mink, is certain her newborn will be as drop dead gorgeous as her. But when her baby drops dead, knifed by her own placenta, she knows her DNA modification program has gone too far.
Possessed of a fearsome intelligence and hatred of good bone structure, the mutated placenta escapes the hospital, rounds up of a group of ugly, bummed-off 'assymetricals' and, together, they attack the Beautiful People of Bristol.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/02/06 at 12:27 am

I had to get up this morning for a 9am-9pm shift. Then to rehearsals for Short and Sweet until midnight, then I'll travel back home and have to get up for another 9am shift tomorrow.

"Who be pooped?"
"Me be pooped!"

...aaaand back to work I go!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/03/06 at 12:53 pm

That's no fun.  Similar to my schedule though - 6:00 musical practice until 8:00 school, ending at 3:15 and leading right into work from 3:30 to 7:00, then more musical practice until 11:00, giving me 4 hours to eat/sleep/do homework/prepare for vocal/dance competition at 6:00am, meaning I have to leave at 4:00.  On the plus side, I've lost ten pounds (it was a C-section)!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/04/06 at 1:06 am

That's two boyfriends in a row.  >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/05/06 at 1:59 am

Ha.  ;D

You'd expect me to have taken that photo of you out of my wallet by now, seeing as it's been over a week since my little ditty at Geri's farewell party.
I think I'll just keep it in my pocket a little longer.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/09/06 at 10:14 pm

Oh.








Sweet.








Jesus.












I am off to see The Aristocrats right this second. I don't care if I have to travel to the other side of Sydney. I am seeing this freaking film. (I'm guessing it came out in America aaages ago but I've only just seen the tiny blurb in the paper and am RIVETED.) Apparently it's is a secret "in joke" between comedians as a sort of hazing ritual. (I recall old pal Tredanse Saberhagen and I going around with a group of assigned laughers in Year 4 making up nonsensical jokes and then having our group of friends all laugh loudly at the anti-punchline, inciting the unwary victim to start laughing and then be caught out and severely teased for falling for it.)
But in the case of The Aristocrats, the joke is just made as filthy as possible. And the film has a hundred or so of the world's greatest comedians doing their own version of it. Apparently this South Park rendition wouldn't even make the top 5 dirtiest, and I wack a sincere warning on it that it would easily make an R rating. An Australian R rating, with no-one under 18 allowed.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/13/06 at 3:17 am

Do you use that password for all your accounts?? 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/13/06 at 7:20 pm

Yes. Which is why I posted here for all to view.

There appears to be a swarm of large, angry red wasps attacking these smileys.
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\\ :-* :\'(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/14/06 at 7:08 pm

*submits "Sk8r P0srboi LMAO" under newly-acquired password-pseudonym*

Even though I rarely find time or sufficient motivation to reply to any of this, rest assured that I do view - and laugh snortatiously - to all of the new posts in this thread.  Musical practices are juicing the life out of me, along with getting college applications ready and getting my 10-hour-a-week volunteer work scheduled.  Not to mention the dance classes, voice lessons, NHS meetings, Boflex-putting-togethers and prom planning usual crapload.

I did have time, however, to get my first office referral after being caught in the school information center viewing the South Park Aristocrats.  >:(  See, even the angriest face of them all can't hide its love.

Happy Valentine's Day, dearest! 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/15/06 at 7:05 pm


Musical practices are juicing the life out of me, along with getting college applications ready and getting my 10-hour-a-week volunteer work scheduled.  Not to mention the dance classes, voice lessons, NHS meetings, Boflex-putting-togethers and prom planning usual crapload.


Don't forget those time-consuming sesame seed buns.


Office referral? I TOLD you it wasn't for under 18s, silly!
I had my phone to one ear, reciting the skit to my brother in a horrendous Cartman voice, with a headphone blaring in my other ear, so didn't realise how loudly I was speaking until I started getting shocked glances from people walking past in the mall.
You know, walking with their six-year-old children.

Steve from the back dock is FINALLY gonna start on the beat for that "Leave Your Hat On" song. I expect the loop to be completed about the same time your 2005 Christmas present arrives.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/15/06 at 11:05 pm


Yes. Which is why I posted here for all to view.

There appears to be a swarm of large, angry red wasps attacking these smileys.
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-Guess I'm the one to make the one thousandth reply to this thread!! :D :D Modified to X out this line.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/15/06 at 11:20 pm

Not if I go back on an immature deleting spree!
;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/15/06 at 11:26 pm


Not if I go back on an immature deleting spree!
;D

Okay, maybe I should change my post to read...ah, never mind; you'll probably delete some more of your posts. But at the time I posted ^^, it was reply #1000. :-\\

Edit: The 1000th reply is now 3 below this one!! :o

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/16/06 at 4:44 am


Not if I go back on an immature deleting spree!
;D


In the best traditions of this thread!!  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/16/06 at 5:56 pm

^Dang right.  ;)

Even with a string of ****'s, my "Rentin' Porn" parody didn't make the smut cut-off for AmIRight. Drattikins.
Whatever happened with this Sk8r P0srboi LMAO work?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 3:22 am


^Dang right.  ;)

Even with a string of ****'s, my "Rentin' Porn" parody didn't make the smut cut-off for AmIRight. Drattikins.



I was with you all the way until you wrote


Whatever happened with this Sk8r P0srboi LMAO work?


What??

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/17/06 at 8:39 am

Well, considering that even the title seems to go beyond the sexual capacity of ChuckyG...I pity that man's wife...

As for my aforementioned first parody in DECADES (which I humbly credited to you), I don't think it made it.  It consisted of these two lines:

"HEWas a Sk8r P0srboi he said EmiLocas Hawt
Ur pretty face gew LMFAO"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 9:24 am


Well, considering that even the title seems to go beyond the sexual capacity of ChuckyG...I pity that man's wife...



It's not Chucky's personal choice.  he's explained a lot of times why he tries to keep the site clean.  Mainly due to keeping it open

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 9:33 am


It's not Chucky's personal choice.  he's explained a lot of times why he tries to keep the site clean.  Mainly due to keeping it open
didn't they have a kinda inthe00s After Dark forum? and then closed it down for lack of interest?

it's only fun to try and get away with it if you're not allowed to do it, is the moral of that story, i guess.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 9:56 am


didn't they have a kinda inthe00s After Dark forum? and then closed it down for lack of interest?



Yeah. The original intention was supposed to be more like here but with swearing I reckon.  I posted there a bit but never felt like baring my soul unlike some of the others.


it's only fun to try and get away with it if you're not allowed to do it, is the moral of that story, i guess.


there's only so many swear words after all.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 9:58 am


Yeah. The original intention was supposed to be more like here but with swearing I reckon.  I posted there a bit but never felt like baring my soul unlike some of the others.

there's only so many swear words after all.
i like using ones from different languages. it really opens up a whole new world of possibilities. hobbyflecken!

oh, and this

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=13935;type=avatar

with the tagline "i have HOW many kidneys?" is about the funniest thing i've ever seen, even though i completely don't understand it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 10:03 am


i like using ones from different languages. it really opens up a whole new world of possibilities. hobbyflecken!



hobbyflecken sounds rude whatever it is.  It's not in Babelfish that's all I know.


oh, and this

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=13935;type=avatar

with the tagline "i have HOW many kidneys?" is about the funniest thing i've ever seen, even though i completely don't understand it.


I'm not sure where Emi got that quote from either

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 10:10 am


hobbyflecken sounds rude whatever it is.  It's not in Babelfish that's all I know.


i think i'd best let its meaning remain a mystery.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 10:12 am


i think i'd best let its meaning remain a mystery.


I reckon I've worked out what it might be!!

Not a phrase that's in regular use

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 10:15 am


I reckon I've worked out what it might be!!

Not a phrase that's in regular use
see, it's funny, when i first heard that word i was all, what's that, have something to do with toy trains or something? it totally doesn't sound obscene to me.

but when i went to germany i used it at one point at random and this very hushed, awkward silence fell over the room like i'd just mentioned the war. avoid! avoid!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 10:16 am


see, it's funny, when i first heard that word i was all, what's that, have something to do with toy trains or something? it totally doesn't sound obscene to me.

but when i went to germany i used it at one point at random and this very hushed, awkward silence fell over the room like i'd just mentioned the war. avoid! avoid!


I just thought flecken looked like flick and took it from there.  I might be miles off though!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 10:20 am


I just thought flecken looked like flick and took it from there.  I might be miles off though!
i'd say you're thinking along the right lines.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 10:22 am


i'd say you're thinking along the right lines.


Is it a poor reflection upon me that i managed to work out what a foreign swear word might translate as?  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 10:27 am


Is it a poor reflection upon me that i managed to work out what a foreign swear word might translate as?  ;D
nope, just means you're on your toes.

although you should consider being pure as the driven snow, like me. :P

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 10:29 am



although you should consider being pure as the driven snow, like me. :P


I'm purer than that.  I'm as pure as snow that hasn't been driven on!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 10:30 am

i'm pure as the yellow snow.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 10:39 am

i'm sorry. i went too far.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/17/06 at 10:43 am


i'm pure as the yellow snow.


Not sure if you've ever seen the UK programme called Top Gear?  It's a programme about cars and stuff.

Anyway in honour of the Winter Olympics they had a special show doing winter sports with cars.  Like racing around an ice track against a speed skater, launching a car down a ski jump to see if it could jump further than a ski jumper etc.

In one or two events they had a competition between two of the presenters.  The winner got a gold medal, the loser got to eat golden snow!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 11:02 am


Not sure if you've ever seen the UK programme called Top Gear?  It's a programme about cars and stuff.

Anyway in honour of the Winter Olympics they had a special show doing winter sports with cars.  Like racing around an ice track against a speed skater, launching a car down a ski jump to see if it could jump further than a ski jumper etc.

In one or two events they had a competition between two of the presenters.  The winner got a gold medal, the loser got to eat golden snow!!
ew. that's high stakes!

at least it wasn't the hobbyfleckeny snow.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 11:07 am

*and an awkward silence falls over the german inthe00s contingent.*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/17/06 at 4:22 pm

Wow...continuous conversation, now there's something you don't see every day.

Yeah, most of my quotes are either hopelessly obscure inside jokes or random thoughts that aren't even funny to begin with.  This one has to do with my Human Physiology class, and how I sometimes make purposely-dumb comments to make my instructor feel like he's actually teaching us something, i.e. "Wait a second...so a stomach isn't the same as a uterus?  Oh, thank God!". 

Hobbyflecken YOU, paplomanstruant!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 4:38 pm


Wow...continuous conversation, now there's something you don't see every day.


german cusswords have that effect.

Yeah, most of my quotes are either hopelessly obscure inside jokes or random thoughts that aren't even funny to begin with.  This one has to do with my Human Physiology class, and how I sometimes make purposely-dumb comments to make my instructor feel like he's actually teaching us something, i.e. "Wait a second...so a stomach isn't the same as a uterus?  Oh, thank God!". 
"um, yes, ms. emiloca, we all have two nipples, one on each side, though i dare say you should have picked up on this at some point before you enrolled in my class." :)

i had a biology teacher in high school who used to break up the monotony by eating earthworms.
Hobbyflecken YOU, paplomanstruant!
great. now i gotta go look up palma... stru... whatever.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/17/06 at 6:26 pm

Ewww, worms!  :D

Our biology teachers must share the same syllabus - whenever we were dozing off he'd nonchalantly slide freeze-dried grasshoppers that were no less than 4 inches long onto our desks at random.  Somehow I managed to pay attention.

Uh oh, what's this about two nipples? *pause* Oh, thank God...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/17/06 at 7:26 pm


Ewww, worms!   :D

Our biology teachers must share the same syllabus - whenever we were dozing off he'd nonchalantly slide freeze-dried grasshoppers that were no less than 4 inches long onto our desks at random.  Somehow I managed to pay attention.



Thank god I never had to do such things in my biology classes. :P

The important thing is, I survived them.

I remember my HS biology class, which I was in 10 years ago already! I had started out not doing so well, but finished it with a 'C'. Then four years later, I had one in my second year of college; that one was interesting in some respects...I met some friendly girls in that class.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 7:31 pm


Ewww, worms!  :D

Our biology teachers must share the same syllabus - whenever we were dozing off he'd nonchalantly slide freeze-dried grasshoppers that were no less than 4 inches long onto our desks at random.  Somehow I managed to pay attention.

Uh oh, what's this about two nipples? *pause* Oh, thank God...
only found the one before now, eh?

yup, mr. gauchnauer. he was notorious as being the guy who ate worms, because he was the biology teacher and knew what worms were made of and that they were good for you. he'd usually save it until the end of the semester. i actually took his class solely to watch him eat worms, and it worked!

we also had a latin teacher who would crawl around the class on his hands and knees making the students conjugate latin verbs. he'd creep up on you and go, "agricolae, agricolarum, aaaannnnnd... TIA! what's the plural dative of "agricola"??????? and you'd look over and he'd be looming over your desk with his fist in the air. and you'd go "duh, um, i..." because of course even if you knew you would have forgotten because he was climbing up on your desk, man! and he'd go "NO! agricola!" and bang his fist against your desk really hard.

he was funny. pretty much a total drunk.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/17/06 at 7:35 pm

Hey Tia, glad to see you've become a "regular" on this thread. ;)

Btw, do you visit the amiright.com web site at all?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 7:39 pm


Hey Tia, glad to see you've become a "regular" on this thread. ;)

Btw, do you visit the amiright.com web site at all?
just went for the first time today. wow, that's a lot of songs.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/17/06 at 7:43 pm


just went for the first time today. wow, that's a lot of songs.

Yep, it's quite a cool site. I found the site in April of 2000 while Googling some song lyrics and came across "Misheard lyrics for.." such-and-such a song. So I clicked on it and was amazed at all the misheard song lyrics I saw, most of which I found hilarious. I've even submitted a few misheard lyrics myself over the past almost six years.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 7:55 pm

in speaking of satirical lyrics...

http://www.michaelhanscom.com/eclecticism/2006/02/frequently_secr.html

cowboys are frequently fond of each other.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/17/06 at 9:42 pm


Well, considering that even the title seems to go beyond the sexual capacity of ChuckyG...I pity that man's wife...

I dunno, Emi, Chucky's sexuality is a ravenous beast when it wants to be. Apparently he held her hand on their honeymoon.


"HEWas a Sk8r P0srboi he said EmiLocas Hawt
Ur pretty face gew LMFAO"

...um, to what OS?



we also had a latin teacher who would crawl around the class on his hands and knees making the students conjugate latin verbs. he'd creep up on you and go, "agricolae, agricolarum, aaaannnnnd... TIA! what's the plural dative of "agricola"??????? and you'd look over and he'd be looming over your desk with his fist in the air. and you'd go "duh, um, i..." because of course even if you knew you would have forgotten because he was climbing up on your desk, man! and he'd go "NO! agricola!" and bang his fist against your desk really hard.


LOL!
Have I already hammered-home my constant amusement at seeing 'cola' drinks, when 'cola' is the plural of 'colon'?
That Agricola sure sounds energy boosting. As opposed to Emicola. Which is always flat.


NOSTALGIC FLASHBACK TO SCIENCE TEACHER PRIOR TO DROPPING ALL SCIENCES IN YEAR 10
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Mr Hardingham: Now, do any of you know how you make a hormone?
Class: *blank stare*
Mr Hardingham: Kick her in the stomach.
Me: *cackles wildly*
Class: *duhhh, what?*

Mr Hardingham: Here's a quick little exammy for you to do.
Class: *eyes boggle*
Mr Hardingham: If you think this exammy is big, you should see my testies.
Me: *cackles wildly*
Class: *duhhh, what?*

Mr Hardingham: *doing a lesson on adrenaline* So, you're heading out for your cadet exercises next week. You're on your canyoning trip, all strapped in with those tiny harnesses that crush your genitals.
Class: *laugh*
Mr Hardingham: You lean over the sixty metre waterfall to abseil down. What substance does your body start producing?
Me: Urine, sir.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/17/06 at 11:17 pm


As opposed to Emicola. Which is always flat.


Gee, how long did you wait to use that line, former-ex-husband-remarried-widower-ex-fiancee?

That's exactly the kind of educator I would like to be - eccentric, drunk, agricol-ing.  Basically, a TILF. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/17/06 at 11:26 pm


Gee, how long did you wait to use that line, former-ex-husband-remarried-widower-ex-fiancee?


http://www.junknugget.com/forum/images/smiles/catharsh.jpg

That's exactly the kind of educator I would like to be - eccentric, drunk, agricol-ing.  Basically, a TILF. 
haha! mr. nickerson was definitely NOT a TILF. unless that doesn't stand for what i think it stands for. old fat guy with that porous bulbous alcoholic nose. he was definitely popular though. real cult item.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/17/06 at 11:31 pm


haha! mr. nickerson was definitely NOT a TILF. unless that doesn't stand for what i think it stands for. old fat guy with that porous bulbous alcoholic nose. he was definitely popular though. real cult item.

say, what does TILF stand for? Given this information, I probably may not want to know. ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 02/18/06 at 4:02 am


say, what does TILF stand for? Given this information, I probably may not want to know. ::)


TILF = teacher i'd like to ....fondle

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/18/06 at 7:46 am


TILF = teacher i'd like to ....fondle
okay, that's weird. that's EXACTLY what i was gonna do.

whoa.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/19/06 at 8:15 pm


okay, that's weird. that's EXACTLY what i was gonna do.

whoa.

Totally weird. ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/19/06 at 8:28 pm


Totally weird. ::)
imagine my shock.

TILTGTKB. teacher i'd like to "get to know better."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/19/06 at 10:23 pm


http://www.junknugget.com/forum/images/smiles/catharsh.jpg


Ha! That pic is gold. So much potential for future use, as you simply sub in whatever exclamation is relevant.
"How ironic!"
"Oppress me, will you?!"
"Intertextual!"


Gee, how long did you wait to use that line, former-ex-husband-remarried-widower-ex-fiancee?


Oh, take your suh-wish.
http://www-nlpir.nist.gov/projects/tv2003/active/topics/example.images/swish.jpg

TILDE- A typographer's mark placed above an 'n' to accentuate a 'ny' sound in Spanish.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/19/06 at 11:20 pm

Hahaha.  I also like that picture.  Caption #2 is my favorite, Brat.  And I am so writing "TILTGTKB" on all my European history assignments!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/20/06 at 8:44 am



i had a biology teacher in high school who used to break up the monotony by eating earthworms.great.


"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
Think I'll go and eat worms
long ones, short ones big,fat juicy ones
See them wriggle and squirm
Bite off their heads
The slurp all the juice out
Throw their skins away
Nobody know how well one grows
On worms three times a day!"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/20/06 at 8:30 pm


Nobody know how well one grows
On worms three times a day!"

^Not very well, actually. Worms are low in calcium, fibre and other vitamins essential for healthy bodily growth.


"Wait a second...so a stomach isn't the same as a uterus?  Oh, thank God!". 


Oh, duhhh. I only just got that gem.
Imagine Tiger Woods thwacking a golf ball 400 yards to an awaiting baseball player, who hits the golf ball so that it riccochets off the stomach of one of those blubber-bellied-cannonball-target circus fellows so that it arcs way up into the air before coming down and splicing all the way down through the flag on the ninth hole to land perfectly in the cup... that's your new *suh-wish* status right there, bay-bee. 
http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/70/9/0/O/70906806O503193822.jpg


L. Best: *holding up limbless mannequin for store display* Done! How's it look?
Me: Oh, that new Quadriplegia Autumn Range is just gawwwgeous!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 02/21/06 at 10:07 am


TILF = teacher i'd like to ....fondle


can't say there were many of them around my school.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/21/06 at 10:11 am


Hahaha.  I also like that picture.  Caption #2 is my favorite, Brat.  And I am so writing "TILTGTKB" on all my European history assignments!
caption #2 is indeed rockin'. "get your jackbooted paw off my neck, feline."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/21/06 at 10:34 pm


L. Best: *holding up limbless mannequin for store display* Done! How's it look?
Me: Oh, that new Quadriplegia Autumn Range is just gawwwgeous!


Hahahaha!  I love how the people at department stores put their mannequins in wheelchairs, on crutches, etc. to make the place look 'diverse' or whatever...the only problem is at the sporting goods store, where all the black mannequins are in the wheelchairs and their white, standing mannequin companions are holding baseball bats.  ;D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/22/06 at 11:14 am


can't say there were many of them around my school.

same here. ::)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/22/06 at 8:31 pm

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/70/9/5/O/70959702O980584385.jpg


I love how the people at department stores put their mannequins in wheelchairs, on crutches, etc. to make the place look 'diverse' or whatever...

Are you serious? Like, serious? They seriously do that? ...SERIOUS?!
Americans... I tells ya...
Due to uni enrolment week, we are flooded with noob foreigners. Noob foreigners who try taking a roundabout via the right side (ie. the wrong side) and end up holding hold up dozens of cars and buses for half a minute of confusion and panic that makes me cackle with schadenfreude.


the only problem is at the sporting goods store, where all the black mannequins are in the wheelchairs and their white, standing mannequin companions are holding baseball bats.   ;D

http://photo-origin.tickle.com/image/71/7/9/O/71797712O695903470.jpg

Sorry to continue the onslaught, but work is proving a veritable goldmine of quotable events.

Me: *on my knees stocking cosmetics*
Voice: Allo? Do you work 'ere?
Me: (Fleur?!) *look up* (Woot! Close enough!) Yes. How may I help you?
Fleur lady: Uh... I need... how you say... where is cream for zis? *undoes top button*
Me:  ??? Sorry?
Fleur lady: Oh... for zis... *undoes second button, opens blouse up* Where is cream for zis?
Me:  :o (Um, I'm sure we could get whipped cream at Woolworths, if that's what you're implying...) Oh! *notices the tiniest hint of redness on her pale European cleavage, which in France would obviously constitute as severe sunburn, as opposed to the peeling sheets of skin from blistered shoulders we Aussies are all accustomed to* After-sun cream is just down this aisle here...
--half a minute or so of explaining the difference between the sunblock bottles and after-sun bottles--
Fleur lady: Zank you for your 'elp! *goes to depart*
Me: Um, excuse me... your, uh, shirt...
Fleur: Oh. *begins buttoning, has to step toward me as trolley pushes past behind her*
Me: *blush*
Her: *blush*
Stand of cosmetics beside us: Full of *blush*

Boots Luke: Hey!
Me: Well done, silver medal!
Boots: What? Am I seriously the second person to rock up here? It's a quarter past!
Me: I know, I know... oh, here comes Alexi! Bronze medal!
Alexi: What?
Me: Bronze medal. You're the third person to arrive for rehearsal.
Alexi: I thought I was late.
Boots: And here's Patrick!
Me: Aww, too bad Patrick.
Boots: No medal for you!
Me: Well, at least he gets his photograph taken by Tracey Moffatt...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/22/06 at 9:12 pm

I used to have Eminem albums playing over and over while I wrote my Hairy Potteds.
DZK is my new aural muse.

Beneath The Pavement
we live in the same places with races clashing
faces made of plastic, chasing demographics
the same addicts, the same brain patterns
chasing after fame, the same actors and actresses

travel the same places, deal with the same hatred
feel with the same pain and heal through the same veins when
maintaining and these mundane days just keep raining
down, until the ground drowns beneath the pavement


And Black Dawn.
And House of Horrors
And the other one hundred and forty or so tracks.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/23/06 at 3:32 pm

Aural muse. 

Hmm.  Kinky.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/23/06 at 7:41 pm

*applauded*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/23/06 at 10:51 pm

...wait a second...cyber applause?  Cyber KARMA?!?  Ugh, what next, online penance or something?!?

Oh.

Give me a moment. 

Oh yeah, Scarhead.  Vairy funny, Meester Brattoni.  *applauds*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/24/06 at 4:15 pm



TILDE- A typographer's mark placed above an 'n' to accentuate a 'ny' sound in Spanish.


Like this: ñ or Ñ

Modified to add:
the letters A and O can also be made with tildes: Ã ã, Õ õ

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/24/06 at 6:35 pm

^ Uh, yeah... That's the one, alright. Obviously you got the joke...
???

Little 3 year old girl in ladieswear department: *tippy-toes'es to reach ladies' Hello Kitty shirt, eventually pulls it down from rack*
Me: *kyooot!*
Little girl: *models shirt on self, is way too big*
Me: *kyooooooot!*
Little girl: *is unable to reach top rack again, so attempts for half a minute to push back the denim skirts on the lower rack in order to make room for the shirt*
Rack of denim skirts: *inevitably collapses, dropping all the skirts onto the floor*
Little girl: *looks dolefully at me with Tibbygirl eyes*
Me: *sigh!* *gets up from menswear and walks over to fix the rack*
Little girl: *carpeing the diem, drops the shirt and flees back to mumsie*
Me:  >:( Why, you little...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 02/24/06 at 10:21 pm

^Uh, yeah... That was... comedic gold there.  ??? 

Giraffes: *'chirp' in American Sign Language*
Luke: *'f*ck off' in Universal Sign Language*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/25/06 at 3:28 am


^Uh, yeah... That was... comedic gold there.  ??? 

Giraffes: *'chirp' in American Sign Language*
Luke: *'f*ck off' in Universal Sign Language*


they're so cute at that age, though. turn around and they're all grown, with little dress-snatchers of their own.

so... what is "fk off" in ASL, i wonder?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 02/25/06 at 9:55 pm


they're so cute at that age, though. turn around and they're all grown, with little dress-snatchers of their own.

so... what is "fk off" in ASL, i wonder?

I, too, am curious about ASL expletives. As an Australian, I am conversant in 'Strine Sign'- but I'd love to branch out and be a polyglot sign linguist.

Despite what innumerable trite Si-Fi flicks would have you believe, I think the common language of the universe won't be mathematics; but rather, it will be a mishmash of crude hand gestures and noisy, noisome bodily functions.  :-\\

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/25/06 at 10:01 pm

Despite what innumerable trite Si-Fi flicks would have you believe, I think the common language of the universe won't be mathematics; but rather, it will be a mishmash of crude hand gestures and noisy, noisome bodily functions.  :-\\
i think it'll be a firm, hard kick in the ass.

and bitchin' and moanin'. you notice how you can always tell when someone's bitchin' and moanin', no matter what language they're speaking in?

i think i'll do fine in the whole universal sign thingy, there.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/26/06 at 10:08 pm


i think it'll be a firm, hard kick in the ass.

and bitchin' and moanin'. you notice how you can always tell when someone's bitchin' and moanin', no matter what language they're speaking in?

i think i'll do fine in the whole universal sign thingy, there.

Sure. :-\\ I can especially tell when Ricky Ricardo's doing it on I Love Lucy; he'll rant about something in Spanish, and Lucy won't know what the heck he's saying. But she does know that he's not happy.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/26/06 at 10:23 pm


Sure. :-\\ I can especially tell when Ricky Ricardo's doing it on I Love Lucy; he'll rant about something in Spanish, and Lucy won't know what the heck he's saying. But she does know that he's not happy.
nally...

that is the...

PERFECT...

example!

bein' pissed! it's the universal language!

kudos, baby!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 02/28/06 at 1:54 am


I, too, am curious about ASL expletives. As an Australian, I am conversant in 'Strine Sign'- but I'd love to branch out and be a polyglot sign linguist.

Despite what innumerable trite Si-Fi flicks would have you believe, I think the common language of the universe won't be mathematics; but rather, it will be a mishmash of crude hand gestures and noisy, noisome bodily functions.  :-\\


Aussie? Female? Able to string the phrases 'polyglot sign linguist' and 'noisy, noisome bodily functions' into the one reply?
Better lift your game Emi, I think you've got some competition here.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 02/28/06 at 4:43 pm

I enjoy combining noisy and noisome just to confound people who think they're synonymous.

I had a teacher last semester who complained about the 'noisome people' who were bein' rowdy in the next classroom. Made ME laugh anyway, which was a little embarrassing cuz no one else did.  :-[Why has the only blushing smiley got a sad face? Besides the oxymoron implications, people almost invariably smile when they're embarrassed, silly primates that we are.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Rex on 02/28/06 at 4:49 pm


Despite what innumerable trite Si-Fi flicks would have you believe, I think the common language of the universe won't be mathematics; but rather, it will be a mishmash of crude hand gestures and noisy, noisome bodily functions.  :-\\


There was a Kurt Vonnegut book (can't think of the title) where the aliens communicated using flatulence and tap dancing.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/28/06 at 4:51 pm


I enjoy combining noisy and noisome just to confound people who think they're synonymous.

I had a teacher last semester who complained about the 'noisome people' who were bein' rowdy in the next classroom. Made ME laugh anyway, which was a little embarrassing cuz no one else did.  :-[Why has the only blushing smiley got a sad face? Besides the oxymoron implications, people almost invariably smile when they're embarrassed, silly primates that we are.
The embarrassed emoticon looks a bit more like someone who just, er, wet 'em.

I've had this happen rather a lot, being the only one who laughs at something. I saw this crappy bruce willis movie called "the last boy scout" back in the day and there's a scene where a bunch of people are playing football and when the quarterback gets the ball he just pulls out a gun and starts BLOWING AWAY everyone on the opposing team. Needless to say he gets the touchdown. So I'm the only one in the theater laughing, I'm totally on the floor, but everybody else is just staring at me. I guess I was supposed to take it seriously? I don't even know.

I'm also the only one who thinks the emasculation scene in "I spit on your grave" is funny.

Anyway, goofy business word of the day: "functoid." It's like a function, only oidier.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: A. Guest on 02/28/06 at 5:11 pm


Like this:

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 02/28/06 at 5:19 pm

Talking of things that are unintentionally funny, I read 'The Monk' by Matthew Lewis over summer and there is the funniest note in the back of the book. Its pricelessness is inestimable:

Chapter X
1..............
2. Saint Lucia: A Sicilian virgin martyr, said to have survived various persecutions, including attempted rape in a brothel and having her eyes put out (she put them back in), before her death in about 304.

she put them back in!!!!!!!

attempted rape in a brothel!!!!!

:D

Anyway, it's an awesome book.


Seriously


If u like rape, murder, incest, sorcery, torture, religious hipocrisy and skulduggery.

Apparently the French humanitarian the Marquis De Sade was a big fan of Lewis.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/28/06 at 6:13 pm


Talking of things that are unintentionally funny, I read 'The Monk' by Matthew Lewis over summer and there is the funniest note in the back of the book. Its pricelessness is inestimable:

Chapter X
1..............
2. Saint Lucia: A Sicilian virgin martyr, said to have survived various persecutions, including attempted rape in a brothel and having her eyes put out (she put them back in), before her death in about 304.

she put them back in!!!!!!!

attempted rape in a brothel!!!!!

:D

Anyway, it's an awesome book.


Seriously


If u like rape, murder, incest, sorcery, torture, religious hipocrisy and skulduggery.

Apparently the French humanitarian the Marquis De Sade was a big fan of Lewis.


let's give the newbie a hand! just for mentioning rape, murder, incest, AND torture before her fifth post.

pick an avatar, kate! set a spell.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/28/06 at 6:14 pm

and yes, they REALLY need to elaborate a bit on how you put your eyes back in after plucking them out. i don't think you can get away with just throwing that in parentheses all offhand. "you know, she put em back in. we've all been there, right?"

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 02/28/06 at 6:19 pm

Good Lord, I'm bored!
All night I snored,
I dreamt I slept,
Awoke to rhyme inept.

I really am bored. Just tried to anagram 'polyglot sign linguist' and all I came up with was: Golly! I top singing sl**.



I'm also the only one who thinks the emasculation scene in "I spit on your grave" is funny.





Emasculation is ALWAYS funny. HaHa. My dad sometimes says so-and-so is looking emasculated, when trying to convey that they look very thin. Malapropism is my favorite ism (Yes, favorite with no u. I tell ya, the compromises I make for you yanks, and what thanks do I get? George F. W. Bush!!!!).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/28/06 at 6:36 pm

ah, yes. the beauty of dubya is that he thinks britain is a state, and africa is a country.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 02/28/06 at 7:27 pm

Tia, my last post was most emphatically not meant to disparage your venerable leader ;). I think georgie is the ant's pants, the bee's knees. Anyways, this isn't a forum for discussing political views. Or religion for that matter. So I won't mention scientology. By the by, the 'tomcruiseisnuts' website is well worth a look. The man has serious issues.


ah, yes. the beauty of dubya is that he thinks britain is a state, and africa is a country.


Fingers crossed he hasn't heard of Australia yet. It'll be safer for us that way.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 02/28/06 at 7:30 pm


Tia, my last post was most emphatically not meant to disparage your venerable leader ;). I think georgie is the ant's pants, the bee's knees. Anyways, this isn't a forum for discussing political views. Or religion for that matter. So I won't mention scientology. By the by, the 'tomcruiseisnuts' website is well worth a look. The man has serious issues.

Fingers crossed he hasn't heard of Australia yet. It'll be safer for us that way.
omg! a country AND a continent! his head would explode.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 02/28/06 at 10:07 pm


But you don't use the tilded A and O in Spanish, do you?
No, Mr./Ms. Guest.

I was just pointing out the fact that those letters are also written with tildes; doesn't matter what language.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/01/06 at 1:34 am


Good Lord, I'm bored!
All night I snored,
I dreamt I slept,
Awoke to rhyme inept.

I really am bored. Just tried to anagram 'polyglot sign linguist' and all I came up with was: Golly! I top singing sl**.

Emasculation is ALWAYS funny. HaHa. My dad sometimes says so-and-so is looking emasculated, when trying to convey that they look very thin. Malapropism is my favorite ism (Yes, favorite with no u. I tell ya, the compromises I make for you yanks, and what thanks do I get? George F. W. Bush!!!!).


Crappy poetry? Anagramming? Amused by emasculation? Pointing out the amusing differences between US and UK spellings?
*goes all gooey in a completely non-semen-related way*
Oh Kate, if only you were fifteen ten years younger...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/01/06 at 3:37 am


Crappy poetry? Anagramming? Amused by emasculation? Pointing out the amusing differences between US and UK spellings?
*goes all gooey in a completely non-semen-related way*
Oh Kate, if only you were fifteen ten years younger...


Perhaps she's looking for a toy boy?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/01/06 at 11:29 pm

*Pat and Nib scurry through torrents of rain to reach the nearest bus stop*
*ogle across the road at three chicks in sopping wet tops doing the same*
Pat: Come on, you girls had better get out of those wet clothes...
Me: That's the way, conserve your bodily warmth together...
*girls take no notice of our telekinetic suggestions*
Me: Maybe we need to lead by example.
Pat: ...
Me: ...
Pat: Oh, no! I'm caught out in the rain! Dear me, I'd better get out of this shirt...
Me: Hold still, you've got a loose strand of hair down your face.
Pat: Could you fix it?
Me: *strokes Pat's hair back with quivering lip*
Pat: *flicks head about sensually*
Me: I'd better wipe those glistening beads of water off your taut, manly body.
      *wipes glistening beads of water off Pat's taut, manly body*
Pat: ...
Me: ...they're not even watching us.
Passing cars: *honk honk honk*


And I met up with some old friends from high school who moved to a few blocks away from where I'm staying. Following a progessively more and more aggressive game of poker:

Drunken me: Oh, you've got Prisoner of Azkaban! Have you seen the bit where the Hippogriff takes a crap?
Drunken Koop: What?
Drunken me: I swear! There's a long shot where Hagrid and Harry are on the right and Buckbeak takes a crap in the bottom left-hand corner of the screen!
Drunken Pat: I'll believe it when I see it.
Drunken Justin: *loads disc, fast forwards*
Drunken me: Right here, right here, watch the bottom left of the screen!
Drunken all: *eyes glued to screen*
Buckbeak: *lifts tail, droppings fall to the ground*
Drunken all: YES!
Drunken me: Waitwaitwait, turn on the volume, I swear there's a sound effect to go with it!
Drunken Justin: *rewinds, turns on volume*
Drunken all: Shhhhhhhh! *eyes and ears glued to screen*
Buckbeak: *lifts tail, droppings fall to the ground with a delicious 'Fhwump'*
Drunken all: HAHAHAHAHA!
Drunken me: And have you seen the sordid sex scene at the end of the credits?
Drunken others: ...
Drunken me: It's in the bottom left corner again! The camera pans down and quickly whips across to the right.
Drunken Koop: What?
Drunke Justin: *fast forwards through the Marauder's Map credits*
Drunken me: There!
Drunken Koop: Where?
Drunken me: Go back, I told you it was quick.
Drunken Justin: *rewinds, plays*
Pair of footprints obviously having sex in a closet in the corner of corridor: *twitch*
Drunken all: HAHAHAHAHA!
Drunken me: And I think there was a deleted scene with Hermione's nipple, too.
Drunken all:  :o
Drunken Pat: Go to it now.
Drunken me: Dude, she's... what, 1990? She would have been thirteen when this was being filmed.
Drunken Pat: Don't care. I want my thirteen year old nipple!
*forty minutes later, after having done Sir Cadogan's challenge over and over trying to unlock the deleted scenes gallery*
Drunken all: *exasperated* HURRY THE HELL UP, BRATTONI!
Drunken me: The deleted scenes should be at the end of this challenge... where are they?
Drunken Patto: Oh. Aren't Deleted Scenes in the Divination Class?
Drunken othersl:  >:(
Drunken me:  :-What?! I swear when I saw it in normal speed it looked like a nipple! Do you think I was actually sad enough to slow-mo it to make sure?
Drunken all: *blink*  ::)
Drunken me: Hey, you were the ones who wanted to... look, shut up! Shut up! *storms out to do MSPaint animations*

Me: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
Celia, whom I went with in drag to her Year 12 formal: What?
Me: Anal raping a baby, then finding out it's infected with AIDS.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/02/06 at 9:23 am

whoa.

somebody bring up the emasculation scene in "i spit on your grave," quick.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: KKay on 03/02/06 at 10:06 am


*Pat and Nib scurry through torrents of rain to reach the nearest bus stop*Drunken me: Go back, I told you it was quick.
Drunken Justin: *rewinds, plays*
Pair of footprints obviously having sex in a closet in the corner of corridor: *twitch*
Drunken all: HAHAHAHAHA!


Wow.  That was a lot. But sounds like the drunks have a good time making you do stuff.
Now this rainy day stuff...is there an alternate 'happy ending' to it, or is that all we get?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/02/06 at 10:18 am



Now this rainy day stuff...is there an alternate 'happy ending' to it, or is that all we get?


Knowing Luke's luck that's all he got as well

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: KKay on 03/02/06 at 10:36 am


Knowing Luke's luck that's all he got as well


:)

Man, we never get the money shot.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/02/06 at 3:29 pm


Me: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?  Anal raping a baby, then finding out it's infected with AIDS.


I think I saw a porno like that once.

Ooh!  Ooh!  Speaking of rainy-day homosexuality, my friends and I were going out for dinner when we heard an ominous thud and began to hydroplane.  When we got out of the car I found that the driver had run over a pair of squirrels copulating in the middle of the road.  Well, it was either that, or they had mysteriously been squishied into a compromising position.

We will never stop harassing him.  Or the squirrels. 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/02/06 at 3:45 pm


I think I saw a porno like that once.



Me too. There was an excitable German guy who kept pointing, and yelling something like 'frick in arsht, frick in arsht'

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/02/06 at 3:49 pm


Me too. There was an excitable German guy who kept pointing, and yelling something like 'frick in arsht, frick in arsht'
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,17056.msg816111.html#msg816111

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 03/02/06 at 3:57 pm


Wow.  That was a lot. But sounds like the drunks have a good time making you do stuff.
Now this rainy day stuff...is there an alternate 'happy ending' to it, or is that all we get?

Kkay! Welcome to our little chat! :)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/02/06 at 9:54 pm

Pat: *adopting a cheesy 30's American accent* You see, babe, he cleverly used a double-entendre in that joke to denote female stupidity. I thought I'd just explain that to you. Seeing as you're a woman and all.
Teegan:  >:(
AJ: Ahh, women. I'm surprised they're able to stand and breathe at the same time.
Teegan:  >:(
Pat: Well, they only have brains 1/3rd the size of our own, ya know. *patronising wink to Teegan* You're doing great, by the way.
Teegan:  >:(
Me: Uh-oh, I know that expression. Her poor little brain isn't getting enough blood, it must be pooling around her feet. We need to lay her down on her back again!
Teegan:  >:(

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/03/06 at 3:42 am

Did she punch you all after that?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: karen on 03/03/06 at 10:14 am


Me too. There was an excitable German guy who kept pointing, and yelling something like 'frick in arsht, frick in arsht'


Not to this comment in particular but

Happy Birthday Kate

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 03/03/06 at 1:51 pm


Not to this comment in particular but

Happy Birthday Kate



Me too. There was an excitable German guy who kept pointing, and yelling something like 'frick in arsht, frick in arsht'

Yeah, I just noticed that today was your birthday, Kate. Happy birthday! ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/03/06 at 9:37 pm

*sulking in corner whilst shooting poutish glares towards Kate*

I like this.

Yes, it's a download.  Oh, ish so worth it.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/04/06 at 1:23 am

Within five years, Bollywood is so going to prove the catalyst for a cultural revolt over the US-saturated film industry.
India makes about 700 films a year, compared with the 150 or so from America, and the rich history of Bollywood film conventions is so well established that I'm suprised it's taken so long for Indian films to be shown overseas. And people know so little about Eastern value systems and society that there's so a massive audience waiting for their corny musical dance numbers.

Note the recent trend of films from the 90s: Movies based on TV shows, movies based on comic books, movies based on kids' books, movies based on musicals... Bollywood is so the next cinematic progression, people.

Superzeroes


Happy Birthday Kate


Wait, you're 29 now? *edit edit edit*
"Oh Kate, if only you were fifteen ten fifteen years younger..."

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/04/06 at 9:06 am


Within five years, Bollywood is so going to prove the catalyst for a cultural revolt over the US-saturated film industry.
India makes about 700 films a year, compared with the 150 or so from America, and the rich history of Bollywood film conventions is so well established that I'm suprised it's taken so long for Indian films to be shown overseas. And people know so little about Eastern value systems and society that there's so a massive audience waiting for their corny musical dance numbers.

Note the recent trend of films from the 90s: Movies based on TV shows, movies based on comic books, movies based on kids' books, movies based on musicals... Bollywood is so the next cinematic progression, people.


yeah, sure, all that, but that music just plain sucks too bad though. i predict hollywood will grind on unaffected by the bollywood onslaught.

Superzeroes

Wait, you're 29 now? *edit edit edit*
"Oh Kate, if only you were fifteen ten fifteen years younger..."
you smoothie, you! you always say just the right thing.

the whole being 10-odd timezone away thing is the only obstacle i can see. 29 is a spring chicky-doodle.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: KKay on 03/04/06 at 9:52 am


yeah, sure, all that, but that music just plain sucks too bad though. i predict hollywood will grind on unaffected by the bollywood onslaught.
you smoothie, you! you always say just the right thing.

the whole being 10-odd timezone away thing is the only obstacle i can see. 29 is a spring chicky-doodle.


I always figured that as long as there was a good time-zone difference, age does not matter.
If the zone difference is large enough, you can actually travel back in time to visit and then age is no issue.

maybe i should go back to bed.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/04/06 at 10:02 am


I always figured that as long as there was a good time-zone difference, age does not matter.
If the zone difference is large enough, you can actually travel back in time to visit and then age is no issue.

maybe i should go back to bed.
something like that might be a good cover for guys who are afflicted with that problem of premature bliss that i know nothing about because i'm pure as the driven snow.

HER: Huh. That was quick. Is that it? Are we done?
HIM: Baby, I loved you so long and hard we actually went back in time till yesterday and now the lovin's not even gonna be till tomorrow.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: KKay on 03/04/06 at 10:53 am


something like that might be a good cover for guys who are afflicted with that problem of premature bliss that i know nothing about because i'm pure as the driven snow.

HER: Huh. That was quick. Is that it? Are we done?
HIM: Baby, I loved you so long and hard we actually went back in time till yesterday and now the lovin's not even gonna be till tomorrow.


you say that to all the girls.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/04/06 at 12:13 pm


you say that to all the girls.

shoot, like i hang around long enough to need anything like that.

HER: Well, that was... honey?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/04/06 at 1:10 pm


yeah, sure, all that, but that music just plain sucks too bad though...


Whereas Western music bears no suckage at all.  ::)


I always figured that as long as there was a good time-zone difference, age does not matter.
If the zone difference is large enough, you can actually travel back in time to visit and then age is no issue.


*cancels 17 eBay bids on time machine blueprints*  You know, I never thought of it that way.  Ah, poopikins, I would type more here but I'm being shooed off the computer by the most wonderful woman alive, my mother, who is standing directly behind me and reading over my shoulder in order to scare me when I turn around. 

Hi, Mom.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/04/06 at 6:35 pm

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, which I've only just sobered up enough to read.




the whole being 10-odd timezone away thing is the only obstacle i can see. 29 is a spring chicky-doodle.


Um, more like 10 suburbs away, if memory serves and Luke is living at North Ryde or thereabouts.


*sulking in corner whilst shooting poutish glares towards Kate*




Hey, quit your sulking! You're, what, 12 years younger than me? Seventeen-years-old? Which means your only 5 3 years too old for Luke's preferences. I'm not even in the race.




Wait, you're 29 now? *edit edit edit*
"Oh Kate, if only you were fifteen ten fifteen years younger..."


*Perusing Luke's postings from the last 2 years, notes the innumerable references to teenage girls... pre-pubescent girls... and babies (gender not specified, and apparently irrelevant) :o*





Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: KKay on 03/04/06 at 6:38 pm


Whereas Western music bears no suckage at all.  ::)

*cancels 17 eBay bids on time machine blueprints*  You know, I never thought of it that way.  Ah, poopikins, I would type more here but I'm being shooed off the computer by the most wonderful woman alive, my mother, who is standing directly behind me and reading over my shoulder in order to scare me when I turn around. 

Hi, Mom.


I like that your message used the words "suckage" and "poopikins".
Hi Mom!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/04/06 at 7:33 pm


*Perusing Luke's postings from the last 2 years, notes the innumerable references to teenage girls... pre-pubescent girls... and babies (gender not specified, and apparently irrelevant) :o*


You forgot species, too.  ;)


Ah, poopikins, I would type more here but I'm being shooed off the computer by the most wonderful woman alive, my mother, who is standing directly behind me and reading over my shoulder in order to scare me when I turn around. 

Hi, Mom.


You've got problems? Do you know how much 700km of apron string costs?


Me: Thanks for the lift, Teegan. You know, you're not a bad driver at all. Seeing as you're a woman.
Teegan:  >:(
Pat: Oop, there she goes again! Ahh, women. Emotional and irrational as always.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/04/06 at 7:42 pm


Me: Thanks for the lift, Teegan. You know, you're not a bad driver at all. Seeing as you're a woman.
Teegan:  >:(
Pat: Oop, there she goes again! Ahh, women. Emotional and irrational as always.


As Good as it Gets

Annoying, gushing receptionist: 'How do you write women so well?'
Melvin: 'I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability.'

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/04/06 at 7:44 pm


Whereas Western music bears no suckage at all.  ::)


some western music sucks. some indian music sucks. ALL bollywood music sucks.

i feel fortunate to have been born into a universe with such clear-cut rules!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/05/06 at 2:23 am



You've got problems? Do you know how much 700km of apron string costs?



Seeings how apron strings generally come in pairs, I'm guessing 700
km of apron string costs about half what 1400km worth costs.

You could always outlay the 60c bus fare and $3.00 train fare to get to Hornsby, and learn what mummy really wants to teach you. TeeHee.

I'm still not entirely sober.

Nighty-night

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/05/06 at 2:33 am

Hornsby? You're in Hornsby?! That's, like, twelve minutes away!
And yet you actually think an 18 year old male would consider travelling that long just for a night of steamy V-plate-shattering sex?
Pfft.
Women.


*Heather Graham (Molly) in a Wonderwoman outfit*
The Todd: Wow! Ya know, that outfit would look better on my floor.
Molly: Mistake!
The Todd: Oh no! Not the lasso of truth!
*lassoed!*
Molly: Let me hear it!
Intern: I once had a threesome... and not the cool kind.
Molly: Mmm-hmm.
-Scrubs

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/05/06 at 2:41 am


Hornsby? You're in Hornsby?! That's, like, twelve minutes away!
And yet you actually think an 18 year old male would consider travelling that long just for a night of steamy V-plate-shattering sex?
Pfft.
Women.



12 minutes? I dunno. If you can get here that fast I might be willing to get my 'v-plates' surgically reinstated; otherwise, keep your puerile fantasies... ... coming.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/05/06 at 3:20 am

Hahahahahahahaha :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I just remembered, it was gay mardi gras in Sydney last night :-*. No wonder you don't feel up to travelling 12 minutes for sex with a woman, Luke.

*Luke reclines on comfy Macquarie Uni over-upholstered library lounge, sated and sore* 

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/05/06 at 3:52 am

Nice try, but although a vast number of my friends attended the flagrant homosexual parade, I could not attend and have a completely airtight alibi... last night was our final cabaret performance where I was a flaming thespian with Pat singing 'Bright Side Of Life' and tootin' a kazoo in front of a paying audience.

... :o ...dammit!

In true Brattonian style, performance done in altered lyrics:
"When life's gettin' up your wazoo,
Just grab hold of a kazoo!
And buzz until your problems have dispersed!"

"...forget about your woes, give the audience a rose!"
*Pat whips out a red rose and hands it to his girlfriend in the front row. Sappy 'Awwww's all round.*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/05/06 at 4:12 am


Nice try, but although a vast number of my friends attended the flagrant homosexual parade, I could not attend and have a completely airtight alibi... last night was our final cabaret performance where I was a flaming thespian with Pat singing 'Bright Side Of Life' and tootin' a kazoo in front of a paying audience.



I luuuuuuuurv how you manage to deny attending the gay mardi gras and then call yourself a flaming thespian (not for the first time) in the same sentence. You are so screwed, mister. ;)

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/05/06 at 4:15 am


I luuuuuuuurv how you manage to deny attending the gay mardi gras AND call yourself a flaming thespian (not for the first time) in the same sentence. You are so screwed, mister. ;)


Aw, do I have to be?
*begrudgingly hops onto the train to Hornsby, chuntering under breath.*

PS. Subliminal advertising: http://www.dramac.org/romeojuliet
I'll pay for your train fare. And ticket. And chloroform-laced wine.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Kate on 03/05/06 at 5:01 am

Of course. I should've known you'd be associated with a play originally based on an Italian tale of a 14-year-old boy who falls in lust with a 12(?)-year-old Mediterranean honey.

Seriously, though, are you in this production? Pleeeez don't tell me you're Romeo! Or I won't come (yes, yes, an overused double entendre, I know). 

Oh, and make sure it's chloroform-laced red wine. I'm allergic to the preservatives in the white stuff ... they have a soporific effect on me. And I'd hate to miss your performance (teehee, another silly double thingamy).

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/05/06 at 11:16 am

I just threw three consecutive tanties and have completely forgotten whatever counter-wittiness I was to catapult back into your 12-minutes-away-from-divorce'd face. 

Anyway, I went to a bonfire last in 10 degree (FAHRENHEIT) weather and was mauled by a herd of streakers.   :(

EDIT, 12 hours later: Okay.  So that was a complete lie.  But I was totally at a bonfire and we totally wondered what it would be like if I was mauled by a herd of streakers.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/06/06 at 2:05 am


I just threw three consecutive tanties and have completely forgotten whatever counter-wittiness I was to catapult back into your 12-minutes-away-from-divorce'd face.


Emi, I thought I made it perfectly clear here that women over 28 are fair game for adultery, as they are void of ever posing a potential threat to my true wuvvyduvvysweetypiewoozywoowoohunnybunnykins.


Anyway, I went to a bonfire last in 10 degree (FAHRENHEIT) weather and was mauled by a herd of streakers.   :(


'Mauled' by a 'herd' of streakers? I had a bizarre running-of-the-bulls visual there. With mooing and nose rings and stuff.
By the way, when was this bonfire? Last night? Last month? Last place?


(teehee, another silly double thingamy).


Hmm... 'double'. Maybe that could solve our litte conundrum. Hey Emi, what do you think about you and Ka-
*looks up to find Longsword aimed at nether regions*
...okay, okay, I'll take that as a no...

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/08/06 at 1:33 am

Michel Gondry= certified genius. He's the director of Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind and a whole score of Bjork videos.
In this video clip, he makes a visual palindrome on a split screen. Take notice of the letters swapping sides and the cat jumping through the hole in the wall. Frickin brilliance.
http://www.submarinechannel.com/content/pause/musicvideos/videos/SugarWater.mov


I have to promise myself now to stop spending so much time on the net and actually focus on second year uni, where we actually get marks for making movies and writing scripts. So if you catch me here, SCOLD ME! PUNISH ME! SPANK ME!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/08/06 at 8:48 am


I have to promise myself now to stop spending so much time on the net and actually focus on second year uni, where we actually get marks for making movies and writing scripts. So if you catch me here, SCOLD ME! PUNISH ME! SPANK ME!


hey! you're on the internet! come here this INSTANT, young man!

so you're in a film program? cool.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/08/06 at 3:56 pm

Are you kidding, Brattoni?  Hearing of your Uni Adventures is my only inspiration for filling out all these damn college applications (It's stupid, really, since my dad is a professor and I could basically get a full-ride scholarship for genetics). Ultimately, I don't wanna go, much less leave my fetal position in the room of uterine lining and high-speed internet. 

Quote of the day:
"Mmm.  I can almost taste the dead fetus." 
- excerpt from part of Statistics teacher's Reply to an email from another administrator, viewed whilst the substitute was taking a restroom break, confirming the state of Mr. May's "agenda" and doubly increasing his student approval rate



Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/08/06 at 4:42 pm

*sigh* Who was I kidding? The only reason I came to university is because I knew there would be internet access 14 hours a day. Honestly, as most libraries charge about $3 an hour for internet useage, I'm truly getting my money's worth for a mere $360 in student fees. Of course, I deferred all of my $600-per-class/four-classes-per-semester fees onto HECS, so will be spending the first five years after graduating paying those off.

THEN I'll come visit you in college!  :D

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/09/06 at 11:57 pm

www.marilynmanson.com

I swear I never get bored with old Brian. True. artistic. genius. Just wait sixty years for the academic analyses.


Another Gondry film clip: http://www.theonenetwork.com/playvideo.asp?speed=300&type=music&videoid=massiveattack
At about halfway, what looks like a horizontal panning across the windows of an apartment building turns out to be a vertical shot with actors lying on the floor to look like they're standing up.
But most interesting is how much Emi looks like Tracey Thorn. Why don't you just go animate a foetus for another Massive Attack video clip or something?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/12/06 at 10:48 pm

*following a solid 40 minutes of deaf impersonations and politically-incorrect jokes, so each following comment is forced out through gut-wrenching laughter*
Nib: You know those scientific experiments they do on bats? What they should do is blindfold deaf people and make them race through a room full of piano wire!
All: *gag on tears*
Pat: What, using deaf sonar?
Chelle: *completely serious* My friend once said she knew a guy who was blind, but he could ride a bicycle by going *clucks tongue repeatedly* and that way he could tell what was infront of him.
All: *gag on tears*
Chelle: I''m serious! Just by going *clucks tongue repeatedly*
Nib: Yeah yeah yeah, and he stuck his kid on the front to deter kangaroos!
All: *gag on tears*
nb. Due to the size and number of kangaroos out on country highways, hitting them with your car seriously screws up your bonnet and costs alot to repair, so we have little electronic devices that you put on your bullbar which emit a high pitched ticking sound every second or so to deter kangaroos.

Softwear Manager: Luke, today you can do Big Girls, Little Girls and then clean up Girls' Underwear.
Me:  :o
     ...yeah, I suppose it'll have to be done in that ord*commoncensored!*
     ...so you got my memo yesterd*commoncensored!*
     ...and to think I was going to quit this job and become a swimming instruc*commoncensored!*
     
     ... ... ...um, OK.

Slaggy 29-year-old #1: Excuse me, I'd like to get this green top but the mannequin's wearing the only one in my size.
Me: What size was that?
Slaggy 29-year-old #1: A ten. Can you get her one off?
Me: Uh, sure... I'll just... *conscious of Slaggy 29-year-olds #2 and #3 smirking as I start taking off dummy's necklaces*
Slaggy 29-year-old #1: Do you want a hand getting her shirt off?
Me: *notice a size ten sticker in the pile of shirts folded below on the shelves... oh well, too late now...*
Slaggy 29-year-old #1: Gawd, her hips are wide!
Slaggy 29-year-old #2: Don't say that!
Slaggy 29-year-old #3: Here, her arm's come off. Let me just...
Passers-by on the main path from store entrance: *glance furtively at three of us finally tugging the shirt down off topless dummy*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/13/06 at 12:01 am


Gah! New Year smileys!
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\\ :-* :\'(

I spent mine on Garden Island, about 300m straight up the harbour from the Bridge and Opera House, with an open view of the fireworks display.
Right beside where I was sitting was a gated-off area where some film was being shot. A poor group of seven or so models had to chat cheerfully for a few seconds and then all hug as fireworks went off in the background. Then they had to get back into initial starting positions and do the same little ten-second sketch again. And again. And again. For the entire fifteen minute display.


AHA! AHA AHA AHA!!!
I've been unable to view the notorious "So where the bloody hell are you?" Australian tourism campaign, as the website www.wherethebloodyhellareyou.com is in Macromedia Flash 7 or something and we can't download shizzlenit on uni computers.
I've finally found it here: http://video.vividas.com/media/4291_TourismAus/media/TA1100-60A_16x9.mov
And what's that at the Sydney Harbour Bridge whilst fireworks go off in the background? Those poor models who had to do the same skit over and over again... only for the tag line at the end to be used! Ha!!! I've even got a photo on my phone of her saying that line to camera! (Albeit from a pixellated distance of the gated-off area) And to top it off, when there's the distance shot of the bridge shooting fireworks and it lights up the crowd below... THERE'S ME! THE THIRD PIXELLATED SILHOUETTE FROM THE LEFT!!!

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 03/14/06 at 12:17 pm


Gah! New Year smileys!
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\\ :-* :\'(

I spent mine on Garden Island, about 300m straight up the harbour from the Bridge and Opera House, with an open view of the fireworks display.
Right beside where I was sitting was a gated-off area where some film was being shot. A poor group of seven or so models had to chat cheerfully for a few seconds and then all hug as fireworks went off in the background. Then they had to get back into initial starting positions and do the same little ten-second sketch again. And again. And again. For the entire fifteen minute display.

Hehe.. now they got St. Patricks Day hats on! :) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\\ :-* :\'( O0 ^-^ >:D

Just had to try 'em all out again.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/17/06 at 2:03 am

http://www.aperfectworld.org/2306.htm

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/18/06 at 12:34 am

Sweet gillyweed!
Honestly, this is the calibre of writing I'm up against in my weekly rapbattles. And this is a guy WHO WAS ON THE BENCH and only just got into the league. I'm genuinely surprised that I'm up 2:1 three weeks in. These peoples is crazy good.
This is all one poem, by the way:

In The Language of God

Tell me, tell us why
in the confusion of a mountain
of babies stacked like cordwood,
of limbs walking away from each other,
of tongues bitten through
by the language of assault,
Tell me, tell us why
You neither raised Your hand
nor turned away, tell us why
You watched the excommunication of
that world and You said nothing.

Dearest, Mattie Stepanek and Mother, Jeni:

From desert cliff and mountaintop we trace the wide design,
Strike-slip fault and overthrust and syn and anticline...
We gaze upon creation where erosion makes it known,
And count the countless aeons in the banding of the stone.
Odd, long-vanished creatures and their tracks & shells are found;
Where truth has left its sketches on the slate below the ground.
The patient stone can speak, if we but listen when it talks.
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the rocks.

There are those who name the stars, who watch the sky by night,
Seeking out the darkest place, to better see the light.
Long ago, when torture broke the remnant of his will,
Galileo recanted, but the Earth is moving still
High above the mountaintops, where only distance bars,
The truth has left its footprints in the dust between the stars.
We may watch and study or may shudder and deny,
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the sky.

By stem and root and branch we trace, by feather, fang and fur,
How the living things that are descend from things that were.
The moss, the kelp, the zebrafish, the very mice and flies,
These tiny, humble, wordless things -- how shall they tell us lies?
We are kin to beasts; no other answer can we bring.
The truth has left its fingerprints on every living thing.
Remember, should you have to choose between them in the strife,
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote life.

And we who listen to the stars, or walk the dusty grade
Or break the very atoms down to see how they are made,
Or study cells, or living things, seek truth with open hand.
The profoundest act of worship is to try to understand.
Deep in flower and in flesh, in star and soil and seed,
The truth has left its living word for anyone to read.
So turn and look where best you think the story is unfurled.
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the world.

The Memories You Had

There sailed the dim cloud of night, I peeked through the trees,
Then sighed the soft gale, and hushed to deep repose of disease
A stroke attacked the helpless banter, loudly rose his voice,
The trembling victim shook, closed doors faded the screaming noise
Of anguish, whilst the mother for this child gazed without a breath,
Struggled with frantic violence, And dared God to allow his death
The extremes of danger; whilst the lovers clasped in arms,
The mistress of his choice, embraced his carcass like prison bars
He'll never meet the threatnrd blow; whilst his youth became alarmed,
Trusted to flight for safety, and the tear was a bless of harm
His supplicating age was poured in vain on his jewel casket,
Your mother's fond tears, and vain attempts! mercy shall rest
Why does God disclaim her influence? From their peaceful home,
Her prayers will keep his spirit cathartic to let him roam
For ever torn, and chained in shackles in this long array,
The mourning sufferers move along the planate plain
We used to watch you smile and laugh, now only in misery,
We will never forget your loving soul which suffered from muscular dystrophy.

With love, your rising guardian:

God

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Tia on 03/18/06 at 12:42 am

that sheesh is crazy good man! i particularly am fond of

"Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the rocks."

nice.

although there are a few deployments of the word "upon" i could do without. in 100% of cases you'll find you can delete the "up" part with no ill effects.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: EmiLoca on 03/18/06 at 1:57 am

Just taking a break from my 3-day all-day all-night musical performance schedule to see if the Paddy's Day smileys are still up.

:)

Yes.  Yes they are.

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/18/06 at 1:58 am

Actually, it's only 99.8% of the time.
For example: 'The hiker came upon an unconscious girl lying out in the woods.'

And apparently the pilot of the Hidenburg deleted the 'up' part in a poem he was writing during the flight and... well, you know what happened after that.

EDIT: Emi!!! *Paddy's Hat dance*

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: nally on 03/18/06 at 2:32 pm


Just taking a break from my 3-day all-day all-night musical performance schedule to see if the Paddy's Day smileys are still up.

:)

Yes.  Yes they are.


But they're gone now :-[ :\'( :\'( I liked the St. Paddy's Day hats.

In a month or so, they'll probably have Easter bunny ears. ;D

Then after that... what's next? Fourth Of July hats?

Subject: Re: Perhaps the Last of the Mattering Threads

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 03/18/06 at 7:23 pm


Then after that... what's next? Fourth Of July hats?

Yes, followed a week or so later by smileys that look like aborted foetii gnawing on chunks of cheese and battlerapping.

Working in Childrens' wear is always a hoot. It's like a five-hour-long "Kids Say The Darndest Things" episode.

Little girl, supp