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Subject: Coalinga Love

Written By: DarkJon64 on 03/29/05 at 11:15 am

Discovered a funny song a while ago, it is called "Coalinga Love", by Faxed Head. It's sort of a parody of "California Love" by Tupac and Dr. Dre.

Faxed Head is sort of a joke death-metal type band, with songs that sound absolutely horrible but the lyrics are more or less funny and about topics like indigestion and stuff. Apparently the frontman is comedy legend Neil Hamburger, though he tries to conceal his identity in this band and so evidence of this will be hard to come by.

"Coalinga Love" mocks the first bit of "California Love", and then goes on to tell the story of how the record was recorded in the bathroom of Taco Bell and how they got arrested trying to record their music. The singer has this funny cookie-monster like metal voice, and the rapping in this voice just makes it all the funnier.

Here are the lyrics, if you are unable to find the song (I had to special order the CD entitled "Chiropractic")

Well I can't find the lyrics online anywhere at all. When I get home this evening I'll type them out from the lyrics sheet.

Subject: Re: Coalinga Love

Written By: DarkJon64 on 03/30/05 at 1:30 pm

OK i brought the CD with me today:)

Coalinga Love
Faxed Head

Coalinga Love

Knows how to party
Knows how to party
Unlike the City
Of Avenal
Unlike the city
Of Kettleman City
Unlike the city
City of Kerman
We Keep on rockin'
From wheelchairs rolling

Let me welcome everybody to the center of the west
The city that's protected us as if it were a nest
The health care we recieve here is the best
Pretty nurses shoot us up with winks suggesting sex
We were born here
And died here
Yet we're still alive
Selling retread tires and colored ice to survive
We clip coupons on the weekend
Take em to the store
Double value on Tuesdays so you save even more!

I've been in this town since before Taco Bell was serving
Back when the local food left your belly churning
But now we got chains and we're gonna use em
We record tracks in their mother-fudgeing bathroom!

It's all good
For the people in this town
Shut the fudge up, the sky here isn't brown
Blow a gasket as you pass on through
Your car'll never make it
You've got some spending to do


Save us save us
Save us save us.... please (x3)

On the streets of Coalinga
We still get stares
You think they'd be used to rockers
In metal wheelchairs
They've seen us in the paper
But still they're not all proud
Like that old man who sets his hearing aid too loud
He called the cops
When he saw the light still on
At Taco Bell at midnight
He said he head a sound
The police showed up and pulled the plug at a quarter past
We had just begun to lay down our latest tracks!

They busted our asses and hauled us off to jail
Charged with trespassing, Mrs. Johnson posted bail
Now we gotta go to trial and defend ourselves
Fight these motherfudgeing attorneys from Taco Bell!

Say what you say but locals came out on our behalf
Despite all these Kerman Christians
With their anti-metal tracts
We're still alive
Unlike Terry Kath
Pretty nurses in bra and panties give us sponge baths


(the following is more talking than rapping and isn't included in the lyrics sheet:)
Susan, who used to work at taco bell
This is for you
Susan, yeah
They fired her pretty ass, cause she let us have the key
That aint right. That aint coalinga love.
That aint hometown pride.
Was a local girl they fired; pretty girl. Coalinga high!
This record sells well, we're gonna buy that Taco Bell
Hire that pretty girl back
Record ten more album in that bathroom
Yeah, that's the whole point
All you Taco Bell lawyers from Illinois
You're messin' with a good thing
The system management's down with us
He's a fudgein' manager from out of town
We're gonna show him how it's done in Coalinga
Send his lame ass back to Fresnew
Free seven layer burritos for every cotton-picker in Coalinga!
Did you know that at Taco Bell...

(strange ad-libbing from a robotic voice follows)

Subject: Re: Coalinga Love

Written By: Marilynn on 05/28/05 at 9:52 pm

"Faxed Head is sort of a joke death-metal type band"

I just wanted ot say that Faxed Head is no joke, they really rock! For someone who doesn't like the radio's pop whores i'd think you would give a band like them more credit! Just listen to that CD ya got a few more times, I fell in love, so why can't you? ;)

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