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Subject: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 10/05/05 at 10:32 pm



Got a feeling the elf's eyes are rolling here (and throw in a pout too)

but in a comment on Phil's M M-G parody today, Tim Mayfield came up with some ideas for Arwen's first line, if she were to do one herself, and I thought what a great idea for a comp

Arwen probably has the most distinguishable style on amiright, so here's your chance to pay tribute to it... 


Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 10/05/05 at 10:34 pm


Tim Mayfield  #1
I am the fav'rite model for the guys who like drinks on their clothes

Tim Mayfield  #2
I have a very modest way of tripping on things not around

Stuart McArthur #1
I spilt my drink, my date slipped over, now I think he's comatose

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/05/05 at 11:09 pm

It's Likely That I'll Stumble As My Balance Is Ephemeral

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Johnny_D on 10/05/05 at 11:28 pm


I am the rockin' founder of the one-and-only Super Squad

A man whose very bod I love is Aragorn V. Mortenson

My anti-hairy god-of-love is bald 'n' brawny Vin Diesel

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 10/05/05 at 11:31 pm


I really (pouting) miss Duncan - my fav'rite Scottish elephant

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/06/05 at 12:50 am

Oh, for HELL'S sake...

Ahem...

I am the fav'rite model for the guys who like drinks on their clothes
You've got it wrong, I rarely spill upon them, but I'll break their nose...

***

I have a very modest way of tripping on things not around
I'm far from modest, I'm the proudest clumsy elf upon the ground

***

I spilt my drink, my date slipped over, now I think he's comatose
I hate to leave him lying there, but truth be told, he's kind of gross

***

It's Likely That I'll Stumble As My Balance Is Ephemeral
But I'll keep smiling through the pain with help from my friend, Demerol

***

I am the rockin' founder of the one-and-only Super Squad
A fearless leader who kicks ass with my hotter than average bod

***

A man whose very bod I love is Aragorn V. Mortenson
I'd happily give birth to his first daughter or his second son

***

My anti-hairy god-of-love is bald 'n' brawny Vin Diesel
He is a work of art that I'd proudly display on an easel

***

I really (pouting) miss Duncan - my fav'rite Scottish elephant
I'd like to do him justice with a verse, but it seems that I can't


***

So, there you have it...a bunch of second lines...

Thanks, fellas... ;)




Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Luke Brattoni on 10/06/05 at 1:05 am

*wild applause*

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 10/06/05 at 3:30 am



yes! bravo, and there's half the parody already written - how hard was that?

and IF you do get overwhelmed
I'm SURE a dude called Fred could help

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Kristof Robertson on 10/06/05 at 4:04 am


Oh, for HELL'S sake...

Ahem...

I am the fav'rite model for the guys who like drinks on their clothes
You've got it wrong, I rarely spill upon them, but I'll break their nose...

***

I have a very modest way of tripping on things not around
I'm far from modest, I'm the proudest clumsy elf upon the ground

***

I spilt my drink, my date slipped over, now I think he's comatose
I hate to leave him lying there, but truth be told, he's kind of gross

***

It's Likely That I'll Stumble As My Balance Is Ephemeral
But I'll keep smiling through the pain with help from my friend, Demerol

***

I am the rockin' founder of the one-and-only Super Squad
A fearless leader who kicks ass with my hotter than average bod

***

A man whose very bod I love is Aragorn V. Mortenson
I'd happily give birth to his first daughter or his second son

***

My anti-hairy god-of-love is bald 'n' brawny Vin Diesel
He is a work of art that I'd proudly display on an easel

***

I really (pouting) miss Duncan - my fav'rite Scottish elephant
I'd like to do him justice with a verse, but it seems that I can't


***

So, there you have it...a bunch of second lines...

Thanks, fellas... ;)







You've GOT to do this now. We all know you can.....work through the fear!
My vote for the best two first lines so far are numbers 3 & 4
Can't wait for the finished result...go for it, babe!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Rick Cormier on 10/06/05 at 4:19 am

How about:

I am a hairy model who must often shave her genitals.

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Stuart McArthur on 10/06/05 at 5:14 am



I am a hairy model who must often shave her genitals.



I'm sure Rick meant that in the nicest, most complimentary way, Arwen...

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Rick Cormier on 10/06/05 at 9:21 am


I'm sure Rick meant that in the nicest, most complimentary way, Arwen...
I was thinking just outside of the box. No slight meant to our Elven Diety.

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/06/05 at 9:56 am


How about:

I am a hairy model who must often shave her genitals.


Yeah...no offense taken, but I've got nothing for that one, Rick...

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Rick Cormier on 10/06/05 at 11:17 am


Yeah...no offense taken, but I've got nothing for that one, Rick...
Maybe having the first 2 lines will help:

I am a hairy model who must often shave her genitals
I've tried that Nair in bottles, though it softens, hair's still plentiful

(Shoot, I've never done this OS either. Why am I giving advice?)

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/06/05 at 11:49 am


Maybe having the first 2 lines will help:

I am a hairy model who must often shave her genitals
I've tried that Nair in bottles, though it softens, hair's still plentiful

(Shoot, I've never done this OS either. Why am I giving advice?)


LOL!!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Olaf on 10/06/05 at 12:06 pm

I'm Klutzy Elf of Rivendell, Thank God for Major Medical!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/06/05 at 12:21 pm


You've GOT to do this now. We all know you can.....work through the fear!
My vote for the best two first lines so far are numbers 3 & 4
Can't wait for the finished result...go for it, babe!


It's not a matter of being afraid, Mister...

It's one thing to write one line...(well, eight versions of one line)...but the whole OS would be something quite different...

Oh wait...make that nine versions...THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!! :) :) :)

I'm Klutzy Elf of Rivendell, Thank God for Major Medical!
Um...DAMMMIT.


Nope...make that 8 versions. :-[ :-\\ >:(

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: The Real Tony on 10/06/05 at 12:54 pm

I am a klutzy sexy elf, thank God for Major Medical
I can't have grace yet still be me -- the two are antithetical
I fall, I slip, I crash, I trip -- my klutziness takes many forms
I've sliced my thumb and bruised my bum -- each day some damage is the norm
My handbag is a first-aid kit, I own ten custom body-casts
I've always been a fragile thing -- it's clear I wasn't built to last
My hair is fair, my skin is too (at least when it's not black and blue)
I am a klutzy sexy elf, thank God for Major Medical!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/06/05 at 2:13 pm


I am a klutzy sexy elf, thank God for Major Medical
I can't have grace yet still be me -- the two are antithetical
I fall, I slip, I crash, I trip -- my klutziness takes many forms
I've sliced my thumb and bruised my bum -- each day some damage is the norm
My handbag is a first-aid kit, I own ten custom body-casts
I've always been a fragile thing -- it's clear I wasn't built to last
My hair is fair, my skin is too (at least when it's not black and blue)
I am a klutzy sexy elf, thank God for Major Medical!


BRAVO!!!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Red Ant on 10/06/05 at 3:06 pm

Arwen, I have a few other ideas for Major-General parodies but they do not apply to one about you.

Since you know TOS just try finding end-line rhymes for the moment that are 3 syllables and have the right stresses, sure you can build up to the final words.

Oh, a few rhyme couplets you could use are affable/laughable, precarious/hilarious,  fabulous/fabulous (since it is about you we need to stress fabulous.  ;) )and um..hell, I don't know, I ran out of rhymes on my last one.

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: 2nz on 10/07/05 at 10:41 am

I am a klutzy sexy elf, now ev'ryone can sing along
I know I'm cute and blonde to boot, so 'ha ha' I don't need this song
I'm not afraid of this parade of lyrics, I'm just listening
'Cause I know if I sit here long enough you'll all just write the thing
Be careful though, or you will go the way of Fred from Tech Support
He shamelessly would hit on me and now we have a date in court
So come drop in or tumble by or slip and fall at Arwen-fest
And if you should forget just let me set you straight, I am the best

I hope this makes up for me being late to Arwen-fest. Where can I get my 'Elves do it in the Trees' T-shirt?

EDIT: I guess a clever...-er T-shirt would be 'Elves do it in the Trees. Klutzy Elves do it under them.'

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: The Real Tony on 10/07/05 at 10:43 am


I am a klutzy sexy elf, now ev'ryone can sing along
I know I'm cute and blonde to boot, so 'ha ha' I don't need this song
I'm not afraid of this parade of lyrics, I'm just listening
'Cause I know if I sit here long enough you'll all just write the thing
Be careful though, or you will go the way of Fred from Tech Support
He shamelessly would hit on me and now we have a date in court
In short I can report my sort can court much better than the rest
And if you should forget just let me set you straight, I am the best

I hope this makes up for me being late to Arwen-fest. Where can I get my 'Elves do it in the Trees' T-shirt?


The internal rhymitude is very skillful!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: 2nz on 10/07/05 at 11:39 am


The internal rhymitude is very skillful!


Oh Yeah, well same to you, buddy.

EDIT: ^Meaning I thought yours was good too.^

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/07/05 at 3:08 pm


I am a klutzy sexy elf, now ev'ryone can sing along
I know I'm cute and blonde to boot, so 'ha ha' I don't need this song
I'm not afraid of this parade of lyrics, I'm just listening
'Cause I know if I sit here long enough you'll all just write the thing
Be careful though, or you will go the way of Fred from Tech Support
He shamelessly would hit on me and now we have a date in court
So come drop in or tumble by or slip and fall at Arwen-fest
And if you should forget just let me set you straight, I am the best



Eccellente!! Realmente sapete rendermi il sorriso, 2nz...

The best line, in my opinion...(the only one that matters, right?)...was:

'Cause I know if I sit here long enough you'll all just write the thing


Because...yeah...you pretty much read my mind... :)

I also loved the Fred stuff...that guy...is ALWAYS on my last nerve...

Thanks for joining in...I never consider you to be late... :)



Where can I get my 'Elves do it in the Trees' T-shirt?

EDIT: I guess a clever...-er T-shirt would be 'Elves do it in the Trees. Klutzy Elves do it under them.'



LOL!!

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: The Real Tony on 10/07/05 at 3:15 pm


Oh Yeah, well same to you, buddy.

EDIT: ^Meaning I thought yours was good too.^


I got ya, dude.

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: The Real Tony on 10/07/05 at 3:17 pm

Oh, and... thanks.  ;)

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: tmayfield on 10/24/05 at 10:24 am


I am a klutzy sexy elf, thank God for Major Medical
I can't have grace yet still be me -- the two are antithetical
I fall, I slip, I crash, I trip -- my klutziness takes many forms
I've sliced my thumb and bruised my bum -- each day some damage is the norm
My handbag is a first-aid kit, I own ten custom body-casts
I've always been a fragile thing -- it's clear I wasn't built to last
My hair is fair, my skin is too (at least when it's not black and blue)
I am a klutzy sexy elf, thank God for Major Medical!


This is fantastic.  This one needs to be completed!  >:(

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: Arwen on 10/24/05 at 11:36 am


This is fantastic.  This one needs to be completed!   >:(


I hope that you're not throwing that grumpy face at me, Mr. Mayfield...I have already made it clear that the song is undoable for me.

But I agree that it's FABulous...perhaps we should both yell at Tony...

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: The Real Tony on 10/24/05 at 12:03 pm

The sexy elf seems to have many fans, a Roomful of Elfans should take it on.  I would take charge of it, but... I'm just a guest.

Subject: Re: Help Arwen by writing the first line of her Modern Major General parody

Written By: tmayfield on 10/24/05 at 12:52 pm


I hope that you're not throwing that grumpy face at me, Mr. Mayfield...I have already made it clear that the song is undoable for me.

But I agree that it's FABulous...perhaps we should both yell at Tony...


No the grumpy face is for me starting to read a fantastic parody and not getting to finish...  >:(

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