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Subject: Which is the better parody verse? (Before I submit the parody)

Written By: ChrisBodilyTM on 02/19/06 at 4:15 pm

Okey doke, the song is Boulevard of Broken Dreams. The parody is called "Episode of Pete & Pete." I have two versions of the first verse and I just want to know which one is funnier and/or makes the most sense to you.

The parody is about an episode of Pete & Pete (go figure  ::)) in which Little Pete hears a great song played by a garage band (Polaris, who play most of the music from the show) on his way to school, then forgets how it goes. So he forms a band to keep the song alive.

Parody lyric 1:
Pete has a radio
Mom's metal plate will help broadcast his show
It has everything
You would ever want, 'cept for songs, of course


Parody lyric 2:
Little Pete starts a band
When he hears Polaris play a song
Forgets how it goes
So he forms a band to retrieve the song


Which is the better parody verse?

Subject: Re: Which is the better parody verse? (Before I submit the parody)

Written By: EthanM on 02/19/06 at 4:46 pm

The first 2 lines of the first scan very well, but you need work on the rhyming of the second 2 lines. The second verse doesn't really work well at all, as far as pacing goes. I can't gie you advice about content, since I don't know the show.

Subject: Re: Which is the better parody verse? (Before I submit the parody)

Written By: Red Ant on 02/19/06 at 6:39 pm

The first parody lyric is better, but TOS has a slightly misrhymed AAAA pattern in the first verse, ie they aren't all perfect rhymes but do all have the hard "o" sound in them (assonant rhymes). Ideally, IMHO, all four lines in the first verse of the parody would have a hard O sound in the end line word that would match the pre-chorus of "I walk alone". Like the second verse has "street, dreams, sleeps", not perfect rhymes there either but all are hard E assonant rhymes.

As for content I don't know the show either.

Subject: Re: Which is the better parody verse? (Before I submit the parody)

Written By: agrimorfee on 02/20/06 at 10:02 am

I've only seen a few minutes of the program, but it shouldn't matter if you write it well. I liked the 1st choice much more than the second. That metal plate detail is memorable.

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