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Subject: How are these? ( before I submit them)

Written By: Jack Wilson on 10/07/06 at 10:19 am

"All Fries Now"
Went for a,bite to eat
To a fast food place like Burger King
I said

Subject: Re: How are these? ( before I submit them)

Written By: agrimorfee on 10/09/06 at 11:12 am

You write too fast.  :o If you were to submit these as is, I would rank no higher than 333. Pacing drops as the songs progress, some of the lines don't make any sense, and there isn't much funny stuff going on. I can be more specific later if desired, but that's the overall picture.

Have you read the various threads about parody writing yet? ???

Subject: Re: How are these? ( before I submit them)

Written By: karen on 10/09/06 at 11:17 am

Jack

I'm not a parody writer at all but I thought I'd stick in my two pence.  I couldn't work out what song the first parody was supposed to be.  The second one I had problems pacing it to the original, for example the second line doesn't seem to fit the original at all.  Also I think most people tend to stick to the rhyming pattern of the original which means that this line "They ask me out when I;ve gone stag" doesn't fit well (plus I've no idea what it means).  I also think the overall parody is weak on ideas.  Being nerdy is much more than wearing glasses and being a Star Trek fan.


Subject: Re: How are these? ( before I submit them)

Written By: agrimorfee on 10/09/06 at 12:30 pm

Karen's right...

For the DKTOS crowd, the first song is "All Right Now" by Free, and the second one is "California Girls" by The Beach Boys.

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