If you weren't here last year, you can view those final totals here, if you like.  Here's how it works:  We simply add up everybody's SOTM votes.  We only take the top seven totals for the year; that way you don't have to participate every month to have a chance to win.  If I made any mistakes, or if you don't want your totals included, just let me know and I'll fix it.  Thank you.

Updated through the October contest

Kristof Robertson  57 + 25 + 29 + 26 + 40 + 58 = 235
Red Ant  25 + 47 + 30 + 17 + 42 + 37 + 14 + 10 + 28 = 226
Stuart McArthur  10 + 32 + 30 + 36 + 13 + 23 + 19 + 49 + 13 = 202
Rick Cormier  19 + 10 + 45 + 17 + 40 + 20 + 38 = 189
Arwen  28 + 76 + 15 + 19 + 33 + 11 = 182
Cat  19 + 29 + 16 + 22 + 17 + 19 + 38 + 35 = 179
Phil Alexander  31 + 18 + 16 + 28 + 36 + 6 + 4 + 22 = 157
wannabemustangjockey  28 + 14 + 6 + 40 + 32 + 14 + 11 + 11 + 1 = 150
Johnny D  26 + 23 + 14 + 21 + 19 + 41 = 144
Peter Andersson a.k.a. K1chyd  19 + 12 + 5 + 13 + 6 + 3 + 8 + 6 + 3 + 34 = 98
Matthias  8 + 11 + 15 + 12 + 4 + 7 + 7 + 24 + 18 = 95
Agrimorfee  7 + 2 + 8 + 22 + 44 + 3 + 7 = 93
Jeff Reuben  41 + 7 + 25 + 3 = 76
2nz  28 + 30 = 58
the_conqueror_of_parodies  6 + 5 + 8 + 3 + 1 + 6 + 8 + 11 + 6 = 50
Rex Ungericht  2 + 8 + 17 + 6 = 33
Chris Bodily TM  3 + 6 + 10 + 7 + 5 + 11 = 42
Tim Mayfield  11 + 19 + 4 = 34
The Charnstar 8 + 17 + 6 = 31
Michael McVey 8 + 8 + 5 = 21
Adagio  1 + 2 + 2 + 14 = 19
Confission  4 + 11 + 3 = 18
Larry Hensley 10 + 3 + 2 + 2 = 17
Jack Wilson  2 + 9 = 11
Dumb Ass Kid  8
Max Power  4 + 2 = 6
Scathe  5

Sweet, I'm in the top 5. Not bad for a relative newbie!  8)

Sweet, I'm in the top 5. Not bad for a relative newbie!  8)



Congratulations, Cat!  You and EmiLoca, our 2 resident prodigies, keep all the rest of us on our toes!  ;)


But the day will come when what happened to each one of us will happen to you, too ...


A day will dawn when the Roman Centurions will unlock your cell ...


... clap you in irons ...


... drag you up long flights of stone stairs into the sunlight ...


... and cast you out into the blood-soaked dust of The Coliseum ...


... And as Caesar and the crowd look on with perverse delight ...


... you'll hear a metallic cranking sound coming from the opposite wall of the arena ...


... you'll see the sound is coming from a slowly-rising iron portcullis-gate ...


... and then ...


... to Caesar's delight ...


... to the crowd's delight ...


... and to your utter abject HORROR ...


... through that newly-opened gate ...


... into the arena ...


... comes ---


--- THE MIGHTY SPAFF

Congratulations, Cat!  You and EmiLoca, our 2 resident prodigies, keep all the rest of us on our toes!


HEY! What about me? I may have been here for a year, but I only started entering in the contests in November. And I'm only 15!!!!! And to top it all off, I'm ahead of Chris Bodily TM! The man who wrote the Nickelodeon Idiot saga, for cryin' out loud! Ain't that worth anythin'? Not even one scrap of praise?

HEY! What about me? I may have been here for a year, but I only started entering in the contests in November. And I'm only 15!!!!! And to top it all off, I'm ahead of Chris Bodily TM! The man who wrote the Nickelodeon Idiot saga, for cryin' out loud! Ain't that worth anythin'? Not even one scrap of praise?


Well blow me down, I didn't know!  Congratulations to you too, Prodigy Of Conquerors!  ;)

Well blow me down, I didn't know!  Congratulations to you too, Prodigy Of Conquerors!  ;)


No problem. Congrats on being 7th (and also beating Chris ;D)!

... into the arena ...


... comes ---


--- THE MIGHTY SPAFF



Thanks, Johnny, for the biggest LOL I've had in a long time!

No problem. Congrats on being 7th (and also beating Chris ;D)!


That is mighty impressive! Also impressive is the fact that The Mighty Spaff (TMS to the ADD challenged) doesn't even place here, and that Arwen & Red Ant are vying for the top space. Go, go, go! Place your bets--the Battle of The Year!  8) :D

That is mighty impressive!


What is: Johnny D beating Chris? Or me beating Chris?

... through that newly-opened gate ...


... into the arena ...


... comes ---


--- THE MIGHTY SPAFF


Christians are yummy.

xoxox
Spaff

Christians are yummy.

xoxox
Spaff


Mormons make me gassy

What is: Johnny D beating Chris? Or me beating Chris?


Um, the latter.

Mormons make me gassy


Buddhists are great, but an hour later I find myself wanting more.

xoxox
Spaff

Buddhists are great, but an hour later I find myself wanting more.


You should go to Denny's and try their Grand Islam Breakfast.  It's crazy good.  To die for, even.

You should go to Denny's and try their Grand Islam Breakfast.  It's crazy good.  To die for, even.


You're extremely right. My favorite part is the 72 virgins. Sunni side up.

xoxox
Spaff

Um, the latter.


Thanx. Just needed to verify. And as for what Claude and Spaff are talking about...I wonder what their houses are like. Probably a square room padded with rubber and the wardrobe's filed with white shirts with extra long sleeves ;D.

You're extremely right. My favorite part is the 72 virgins. Sunni side up.

xoxox
Spaff


"Extremely right".  Heh heh.  72 virgins.  Heh heh.  "Sunni side up" -- HOLY CRAP YOU RULE.

Much tastier than the sausage links to Al Quaeda.

Buddhists are great, but an hour later I find myself wanting more.

xoxox
Spaff


sometimes I binge on Catholics

...but I always feel guilty afterwards  :(

sometimes I binge on Catholics

...but I always feel guilty afterwards  :(


For a spicier treat I recommend rastafarians - they are smokin' hot!

ehh... or was that smokin' pot... ???

Much tastier than the sausage links to Al Quaeda.


Ditto that. They're as weak as the coffee.

Hey, thanx for joining the buffet, s2art and Peterchyd. I've been meaning to say something about agnostics, but I'm not sure if I will. I'm kind of undecided about them. Sometimes they're great; sometimes, you know, meh. Make sense? I just, I don't know, need to give it some more thought or something. Maybe. Who knows.

xoxox
Spaff

I've updated the PAOTY standings through May.

Oh, I'll have Deep Fried Southern Baptist. I hear the pulpit cooked BBQ is great, though it's too hot for some.

Eh, I'm a little more adventurous. Gimme a People's Temple cult member marinated in that poison Kool-Aid.

Oh, great, you're making me hungry! I'll have a Dan Brown, with large fries, an Iced Coffee, the Da Vinci Code and a book of matches.

Wait, cancel the matches. I wanna try something new. How about a ciggie lighter? I know I'm too young to smoke, but who says I'm usin' it to light meself a ciggie? ;D

Yay! Update! Only behind Chris by 3 points...here's hoping through July's contest!

Yowza! I'm in 4th AND ahead of WMJ! (how did that happen?  :o)

Yowza! I'm in 4th AND ahead of WMJ! (how did that happen?  :o)
It happened because you earned it, Cat. Don't get complacent though, there are still five months left and, you can only use your seven best monthly totals.

You're awfully kind, Rick, but I'm still a little miffed that the competition in SOTMs is so stiff, I feel like Phil must have felt like last year...or am I just getting a swelled head? That can't be good for a poor cat's skull.

It happened because you earned it, Cat. Don't get complacent though, there are still five months left and, you can only use your seven best monthly totals.



Yowza! I'm in 4th AND ahead of WMJ! (how did that happen?  :o)


What Rick said, and also, while you've been very good and consistent, you have 6 months worth of points compared to 5 months for the 3 authors closest in points to you.

Congratulations, Cat!  You and EmiLoca, our 2 resident prodigies, keep all the rest of us on our toes!   ;)


But the day will come when what happened to each one of us will happen to you, too ...


A day will dawn when the Roman Centurions will unlock your cell ...


... clap you in irons ...


... drag you up long flights of stone stairs into the sunlight ...


... and cast you out into the blood-soaked dust of The Coliseum ...


... And as Caesar and the crowd look on with perverse delight ...


... you'll hear a metallic cranking sound coming from the opposite wall of the arena ...


... you'll see the sound is coming from a slowly-rising iron portcullis-gate ...


... and then ...


... to Caesar's delight ...


... to the crowd's delight ...


... and to your utter abject HORROR ...


... through that newly-opened gate ...


... into the arena ...


... comes ---


--- THE MIGHTY SPAFF





LOL!  A flair for the dramatic!!

I feel like Phil must have felt like last year...

I felt the same way last year, Cat. I was a newbie then.

I felt the same way last year, Cat. I was a newbie then.


Me too. I joined in the contests properly in November, and I learned how to do it the hard way...by misleading the rules and getting insulted by Red Ant and Claude Prez. Although I've been on here longer than Cat, I'm 16th and she's 4th. What's up with that?

Kwitcherbitchin!:) I've been here since 2001 and not won SOTM at any level.  :-[

Kwitcherbitchin!:) I've been here since 2001 and not won SOTM at any level.  :-[


Ag,  you've recorded and performed in public, that counts for a great deal in my book.

And I still intend to see you sometime in the future, Agri. But I think I'm Chicagoed out for now, maybe in a few months.

And I still intend to see you sometime in the future, Agri. But I think I'm Chicagoed out for now, maybe in a few months.


Performances have been placed on hold while the host of the Open Mike figures out how/where/when he should be running the show. The local paper and the cafe have been at odds in properly publicising us.

Me too. I joined in the contests properly in November, and I learned how to do it the hard way...by misleading the rules and getting insulted by Red Ant and Claude Prez. Although I've been on here longer than Cat, I'm 16th and she's 4th. What's up with that?

When did I ever insult you, you whiny little pipsqueak? Here's a hint:  Cat writes good songs.

Me too. I joined in the contests properly in November, and I learned how to do it the hard way...by misleading the rules and getting insulted by Red Ant and Claude Prez. Although I've been on here longer than Cat, I'm 16th and she's 4th. What's up with that?


Yes, you misread the rules (twice, IIRC) in Nov SOTM, and Claude and I came down on you fairly harshly for it, but in all honesty it was for your own good.

As for time on site or in competitions, really, that is almost meaningless to me. Keep in mind PAotY points standings are not going to get you a pay raise at a job, or even help you get a job. You aren't going to get a gold statue, a Hollywood star, or anything else even if you win. The competitions are primarily for fun and for feedback, and IMHO it is pointless to question where you stand compared to other authors. As long as you are happy with your work, that's really all that matters.

When did I ever insult you, you whiny little pipsqueak? Here's a hint:  Cat writes good songs.


Ooh, now I feel really bad. I do believe who told me that my version of DKTOS stood for Don't Kare To Offer Sh*t in the November SOTM. Also, you saying that Cat writes good songs: I admit that she does write good songs, but does that mean you're saying that I don't?


Yes, you misread the rules (twice, IIRC) in Nov SOTM, and Claude and I came down on you fairly harshly for it, but in all honesty it was for your own good.


It certainly was for my own good.







What does IIRC mean?

What does IIRC mean?


If I Remember Correctly.

Seriously, Pieman, you take this like you're going to get guillotined if you don't win anything. Lighten up, dude!

And thanks very much, Claude, but...did you ever comment on anything I've written or am I just blind?

And thanks very much, Claude, but...did you ever comment on anything I've written or am I just blind?


Hey, you're right!  I would've sworn I'd commented on "You've Been Blessed" at the very least.  But I just now went and checked and I was mistaken.  I don't comment nearly as much as I used to when I was submitting myself, but I do read and vote on a few now and then and I'm not at all surprised you're doing so well in the SOTMs.

Ooh, now I feel really bad. I do believe who told me that my version of DKTOS stood for Don't Kare To Offer Sh*t in the November SOTM.

Was that you?  Heh heh.  Honestly, there's never any shortage of people who just don't get it around here.




Also, you saying that Cat writes good songs: I admit that she does write good songs, but does that mean you're saying that I don't?



I haven't read every one you've written.  The ones I have read, I don't remember.  So technically, no, that's not what I'm saying.  What I'm really saying is that there are a lot of other writers here.  They all want attention just as much as you do.  The way to get it is to write better songs.  A good way to learn to write better songs is to spend less time worrying about where you are in the standings and more time learning from those who are above you for a good reason.  I'm going to crawl back under my rock again now.

Seriously, Pieman, you take this like you're going to get guillotined if you don't win anything. Lighten up, dude!



A good way to learn to write better songs is to spend less time worrying about where you are in the standings and more time learning from those who are above you for a good reason.  I'm going to crawl back under my rock again now.


Good points, both of you. Before you crawl under your rock, Claude, can I borrow it? I need to whack some sense into myself.