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Subject: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Jessica on 02/16/09 at 11:57 pm

Since the other topic is locked and archived, I decided to start a new one.  Feel free to share any experiences you've had with bullies.  How did you overcome their bullying?  Does it still affect you to this day?

I remember my first experience with a bully.  It was in third grade, and this boy had been bullying my friend.  I didn't take kindly to this and tried to defend her.  He decided to get physical and SOCKED me right above my boob.  It might have ended there with him continuing the bullying nonsense, but by chance, my mom saw the bruise and asked what the hell was going on.  I tried to lie (this boy had a good number of us scared, me included, since he had actually gotten physical with me), but she caught on pretty quick and dragged the truth out of me.  She went up to the school the very next day and raised all sorts of hell on behalf of most of the third graders because it wasn't just an isolated situation.  The principal and the school therapist tried to play it off by saying that he was a troubled youth and that he was a foster kid because his parents had abused him.  My mom, who is the source of my bitchy attitude, then asked them if they knew all that, then why in the hell weren't they helping him more?  They couldn't answer that of course (because they were really sh*tty at their jobs), and within a few weeks, the boy had left for a special type of school that included a ton of therapy.  The next year, the principal and the school therapist were replaced.

I have more stories (including the taunting on the bus....oy ::)), but I'll type them out later.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Dagwood on 02/17/09 at 8:29 am

Sounds like the bully my daughter had to deal with last year.  At the beginning of the year, he started in on her mercilessly.  A group of boys followed suit and she was constantly teased.  One stomped on her foot when she was sitting on the ground, another punched her in the stomach.  When I tried to talk to the teacher about it she said "well, he's ADHD" (the first boy).  I don't give a crap, ADHD doesn't mean stupid...they know right from wrong, too.  You just have to, gasp, discipline them when they misbehave.  The problems in her class kept building until it was to the point her class was out of control.  Half the class was well behaved the other half monsters.  I talked to the principal and the bully counselor more than once.  All I got out of the principal was I'll take care of it.  Yeah right, not a thing happened, she was all talk.  The bully counselor had his hands tied because the principal kept telling him he couldn't do anything to discipline the little monsters. 

About a month before school was let out they let the teacher go and brought in a sub that had no qualms about discipline.  The class calmed greatly.  Before the old teacher left she came in the class in tears whining about how the kids didn't like her and didn't want her there.  Well, duh, when you play obvious favorites and let monsters get away with murder of course the kids aren't going to like you.

Sarah is still trying to catch up.  They hardly ever got homework and a lot of the stuff she was supposed to learn she didn't because of the disruption.  She went from reading above grade level to below.  It has taken all year but she is finally catching up.  I ended up pulling her out of the old school and she is at a better school.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Jessica on 02/17/09 at 10:43 am


Sounds like the bully my daughter had to deal with last year.  At the beginning of the year, he started in on her mercilessly.  A group of boys followed suit and she was constantly teased.  One stomped on her foot when she was sitting on the ground, another punched her in the stomach.  When I tried to talk to the teacher about it she said "well, he's ADHD" (the first boy).  I don't give a crap, ADHD doesn't mean stupid...they know right from wrong, too.  You just have to, gasp, discipline them when they misbehave.  The problems in her class kept building until it was to the point her class was out of control.  Half the class was well behaved the other half monsters.  I talked to the principal and the bully counselor more than once.  All I got out of the principal was I'll take care of it.  Yeah right, not a thing happened, she was all talk.  The bully counselor had his hands tied because the principal kept telling him he couldn't do anything to discipline the little monsters. 

About a month before school was let out they let the teacher go and brought in a sub that had no qualms about discipline.  The class calmed greatly.   Before the old teacher left she came in the class in tears whining about how the kids didn't like her and didn't want her there.  Well, duh, when you play obvious favorites and let monsters get away with murder of course the kids aren't going to like you.

Sarah is still trying to catch up.  They hardly ever got homework and a lot of the stuff she was supposed to learn she didn't because of the disruption.  She went from reading above grade level to below.  It has taken all year but she is finally catching up.  I ended up pulling her out of the old school and she is at a better school.


That really effin' sucks, because Sarah is such a sweet girl.  It also amazes me that the principal and the teacher were so ineffective, especially when bullying has become a major hot topic in this country.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/17/09 at 10:46 am


Sounds like the bully my daughter had to deal with last year.  At the beginning of the year, he started in on her mercilessly.  A group of boys followed suit and she was constantly teased.  One stomped on her foot when she was sitting on the ground, another punched her in the stomach.  When I tried to talk to the teacher about it she said "well, he's ADHD" (the first boy).  I don't give a crap, ADHD doesn't mean stupid...they know right from wrong, too.  You just have to, gasp, discipline them when they misbehave.  The problems in her class kept building until it was to the point her class was out of control.  Half the class was well behaved the other half monsters.  I talked to the principal and the bully counselor more than once.  All I got out of the principal was I'll take care of it.  Yeah right, not a thing happened, she was all talk.  The bully counselor had his hands tied because the principal kept telling him he couldn't do anything to discipline the little monsters. 

About a month before school was let out they let the teacher go and brought in a sub that had no qualms about discipline.  The class calmed greatly.  Before the old teacher left she came in the class in tears whining about how the kids didn't like her and didn't want her there.  Well, duh, when you play obvious favorites and let monsters get away with murder of course the kids aren't going to like you.

Sarah is still trying to catch up.  They hardly ever got homework and a lot of the stuff she was supposed to learn she didn't because of the disruption.  She went from reading above grade level to below.  It has taken all year but she is finally catching up.  I ended up pulling her out of the old school and she is at a better school.
I see this at our school as well - Or principals and administration - do nothing when it comes to bad behavior - they are afraid to discipline (they are afraid of disciplining and having to face the wrath of the parent of child being disciplined; easier to deal with good childs parents who are unhappy {of course "they" try and be civilized - that is why their child is civilized} .  It is such a shame, the governmental laws and such have driven administration to be this way.  We can not kick a child out of school, and if they do get an out of school suscpension we are required to give them the homework and makeup time....

Confusing, and the good child suffers

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/17/09 at 10:50 am


That really effin' sucks, because Sarah is such a sweet girl.  It also amazes me that the principal and the teacher were so ineffective, especially when bullying has become a major hot topic in this country.
Discipline system is really messed up - administration can not discipline because that is a form of "bullying" (persuading a child that they need to behave- or else) they can only suggest ideas in which the child may try to improve.

I shake my head everyday - there is nothing we the teachers can do, without backup from the administration (I have given a student a detention, only to be told later by administration they felt it was unnecessary - I only give like 25 detention a year) I have tried to have a high schooler write a letter of apology, and I was told that that was tooo humiliating to the students self-esteem.  MY GOD I WASN"T GOING TO POST IT IN THE NEWSPAPER!!!

WHAT TO DO

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Dagwood on 02/17/09 at 12:17 pm


That really effin' sucks, because Sarah is such a sweet girl.  It also amazes me that the principal and the teacher were so ineffective, especially when bullying has become a major hot topic in this country.


I didn't understand why they didn't do more, either.  They could have at least moved her to a different class when I requested it.  When the counselor called me to inquire why Sarah was switching schools, I didn't hold back.  I told her everything.  I don't know if it did any good, but at least it is out there.

Her being nice is almost like a downfall.  She wants to be everyone's friend and that makes her an easy target.  She doesn't understand why everyone doesn't want to be her friend.  She is starting to see it now, though.  She actually came home and told me she didn't want to be someones friend anymore because they were mean and excluded kids from the group.  Baby steps.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/17/09 at 2:37 pm


I didn't understand why they didn't do more, either.  They could have at least moved her to a different class when I requested it.  When the counselor called me to inquire why Sarah was switching schools, I didn't hold back.  I told her everything.  I don't know if it did any good, but at least it is out there.

Her being nice is almost like a downfall.  She wants to be everyone's friend and that makes her an easy target.  She doesn't understand why everyone doesn't want to be her friend.  She is starting to see it now, though.  She actually came home and told me she didn't want to be someones friend anymore because they were mean and excluded kids from the group.  Baby steps.
You've got a good kid Dagney!!!!! :)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Dagwood on 02/17/09 at 2:40 pm

Most of the time....this morning I would argue the point.  She blamed me for going to school with wet hair while it was snowing.  She said I should have told her to shower sooner.  I mentioned that I had been on her since she got up and she said (in that pre-pubescent snippy manner) Maybe I wanted to watch something.

How is it my fault again? ::)


She is a good kid, though.  All I deal with is a little back talk, no biggie.  The only behavior comments I get from teachers is that sometimes she won't shut up.  She likes to talk.......alot. ;D

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/17/09 at 2:51 pm


Most of the time....this morning I would argue the point.  She blamed me for going to school with wet hair while it was snowing.  She said I should have told her to shower sooner.  I mentioned that I had been on her since she got up and she said (in that pre-pubescent snippy manner) Maybe I wanted to watch something.

How is it my fault again? ::)


She is a good kid, though.  All I deal with is a little back talk, no biggie.  The only behavior comments I get from teachers is that sometimes she won't shut up.  She likes to talk.......alot. ;D
Takes after you does she ::)


;)



;D

Sounds like her and Addy would get along great.  Took Addy to the Dr. and she cut me off when he asked what was wrong with her "Mom I can tell him ::) = prepubescent tone"  wow she turned big, and she just turned 7 on Friday :-[  'Bout made me cry.

Addy is an easy target for bullies too, because she is nice to everyone.  She does not understand meanness.  But she does know when something is WRONG and when something is WRONG WATCH OUT - she will tell you what's up or she will tell on you (she is always honest, so she is going to be believed).  I have never seen a little one be soo meek and mild, till she believes someone is wronged - then she stands soooo tall.

Now my youngest - she probably is the bully, no worries there. :-[

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Dagwood on 02/17/09 at 4:07 pm


Takes after you does she ::)


;)



;D



:P ;)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 02/17/09 at 10:48 pm

When I was in 7th grade (my very worst year of school)....there was this girl who decided that she didn't like me, and she influenced others not to like me either. I would sit in English class and they would pull my hair (one strand at a time), say really rude things about me, make my life a living hell on the bus, etc.

Oh how I wish I could go back and do that all over again. Needless to say, the girl wouldn't be able to piss correctly for a year when I would be done with her. ;)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Davester on 02/21/09 at 2:54 am



Oh how I wish I could go back and do that all over again. Needless to say, the girl wouldn't be able to piss correctly for a year when I would be done with her. ;)


  Yikes..!

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Red Ant on 02/24/09 at 8:56 pm

I was bullied in 8th grade, almost to the point of failing the year and having to repeat it. School called home wanting to know why I was absent for the 50th day in a semester, yet they did ZERO when they were told the reasons. I actually was court ordered to go back to school. Twice. I'll leave out the really interesting details, but the whole thing really f***ed up my life throughout high school.

Fast foward 20 years... I'm well over it, haven't thought about it in years until I read this thread. Being bullied to that degree has permanently affected my personality though, mainly in that if I don't think someone is in control of a situation I will step in (or leave), and also if I see someone else getting bullied, especially someone who can't or won't defend themselves, I will step in, sometimes with an almost insane level of overprotective nature. In that respect, I've become the person no one ever was for me.

For a long time I wished that I would have just taken a swing at the bully, win or lose, but I was raised in an environment where violence was never the answer. My answer to that is sometimes violence is the answer, but rarely the correct one.

signature banned as well

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: thereshegoes on 02/24/09 at 9:17 pm

I was a mean kid and i would start fights a lot. But i always saw myself as the avenger of recess, i didn't back down to bigger kids and i would step in if i saw some little ones being harassed. I had very few friends but was respected and feared, but then i became a girl and girlfights always bored me so i started to be less impulsive and talked less with my fists.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: coqueta83 on 02/24/09 at 11:25 pm

I was bullied in the 3rd grade by a couple of girls in my class. They took great pleasure in pushing me around, and like the wimp I was I didn't push back. Of course my 3rd grade teacher was the biggest freaking a-hole ever to exist on this planet (he was the kind of teacher to point out what I screwed up in front of the entire class), so I wasn't about to let him know what was going on.  >:(

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Davester on 02/24/09 at 11:44 pm


I was bullied in 8th grade, almost to the point of failing the year and having to repeat it. School called home wanting to know why I was absent for the 50th day in a semester, yet they did ZERO when they were told the reasons. I actually was court ordered to go back to school. Twice. I'll leave out the really interesting details, but the whole thing really f***ed up my life throughout high school.

Fast foward 20 years... I'm well over it, haven't thought about it in years until I read this thread. Being bullied to that degree has permanently affected my personality though, mainly in that if I don't think someone is in control of a situation I will step in (or leave), and also if I see someone else getting bullied, especially someone who can't or won't defend themselves, I will step in, sometimes with an almost insane level of overprotective nature. In that respect, I've become the person no one ever was for me.

For a long time I wished that I would have just taken a swing at the bully, win or lose, but I was raised in an environment where violence was never the answer. My answer to that is sometimes violence is the answer, but rarely the correct one.

signature banned as well


  Wow.  That was bad...

  My post would've been similar to yours, just not as extreme an outcome.  Sixth grade, first time I ever lied to avoid going to school was because of a bully who just wanted to "be my friend". When I refused to be his friend he introduced me to the floor.  Followed me around.  Punched me, slapped me, kicked me, pushed me to the ground.  This dude was on my ass the whole school year.  He was two grades below me but bigger than me.  I lied - played sick, came home early.  I wouldn't got out for recess but sit in the classroom at my desk.  I faked having blackouts and was actually taken to the hospital and given an MRI.  I told the teacher, the principal, my aunt and uncle (I had to live with them for awhile).  Nobody would intervene...

  The prospect of having to face this kid each and every day was horrifying beyond description, and each and every day I was forced to weigh my options...

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Red Ant on 02/25/09 at 8:05 pm


   Wow.  That was bad...

   My post would've been similar to yours, just not as extreme an outcome.  Sixth grade, first time I ever lied to avoid going to school was because of a bully who just wanted to "be my friend". When I refused to be his friend he introduced me to the floor.  Followed me around.  Punched me, slapped me, kicked me, pushed me to the ground.  This dude was on my ass the whole school year.  He was two grades below me but bigger than me.  I lied - played sick, came home early.  I wouldn't got out for recess but sit in the classroom at my desk.  I faked having blackouts and was actually taken to the hospital and given an MRI.  I told the teacher, the principal, my aunt and uncle (I had to live with them for awhile).  Nobody would intervene...

   The prospect of having to face this kid each and every day was horrifying beyond description, and each and every day I was forced to weigh my options...


I know how you felt. I never thought of faking an illness to get out of school (once I was there), but I would have.

The only reason my bullying really stopped is that over the summer between 8th and 9th grade the bully moved away. The other thing that really sucked is that most of mine was psychological bullying - rarely was there actually physical altercations. I had stuff stolen, destroyed, there were threats, rumors, all kinds of sheesh like that.

No bruises, no problem, right? and the ever-present "boys will be boys" attitude...

People got all shocked about Columbine. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

How did your bullying end?

signature banned as well

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Davester on 02/26/09 at 4:14 am


I know how you felt. I never thought of faking an illness to get out of school (once I was there), but I would have.

The only reason my bullying really stopped is that over the summer between 8th and 9th grade the bully moved away. The other thing that really sucked is that most of mine was psychological bullying - rarely was there actually physical altercations. I had stuff stolen, destroyed, there were threats, rumors, all kinds of sheesh like that.

No bruises, no problem, right? and the ever-present "boys will be boys" attitude...

People got all shocked about Columbine. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

How did your bullying end?

signature banned as well


  Your bully preferred psychological warfare, just as bad.  Mine, one Keith Matacek, took more of a hands-on approach...

  Yeah, boys will be boys.  I suppose I was expected to take care of the situation myself.  When I came up against this inbred bucktoothed chowderheaded yokel's skull with a baseball bat maybe it wouldn't have been "boys will be boys" anymore.  Or get my older cousin to beat him up.  It was an option, anyway...

  I had to live with my aunt, uncle and three cousins (all girls) in Southern Illinois from late 1980 to the end of the school year in 1981, fresh from the northern Calif. suburbs.  As far as I was concerned I was on another planet.  The bullying ended when we moved to another town.  I wasn't inclined to set foot in that town ever again...

  Like you, the experience was character building.  I too harbor a particular revultion to bullying of any kind...

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Jessica on 02/26/09 at 10:19 am


I know how you felt. I never thought of faking an illness to get out of school (once I was there), but I would have.

The only reason my bullying really stopped is that over the summer between 8th and 9th grade the bully moved away. The other thing that really sucked is that most of mine was psychological bullying - rarely was there actually physical altercations. I had stuff stolen, destroyed, there were threats, rumors, all kinds of sheesh like that.

No bruises, no problem, right? and the ever-present "boys will be boys" attitude...

People got all shocked about Columbine. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

How did your bullying end?

signature banned as well


Sounds sorta like my sixth/seventh grade bully.

On the first day of sixth grade, I went to get on the bus, and this girl just started on me.  No rhyme or reason, just started talking sh*t about me, my looks, my clothes, basically whatever she could find.  Then the threats began.  "I'm gonna kick your ass when we get off the bus!" "I'm gonna kick your ass when we're waiting for the bus tomorrow!"  It did get to the point where I'd find excuses to stay home and my grandmother would cover for me (we lived with her at the time).  It finally tapered off towards the end of the year, and I thought that was it.  Cue seventh grade.  First day of school.  Bus is packed with people, so my friend and I found a seat in the way back.  The girl gets on the bus and makes a beeline for me and starts telling me to move.  For the first time in my life, I stood up for myself and refused.  She got pissed and started getting mouthy.  I refused to budge.  She started name calling.  I told her I wasn't moving.  People were encouraging me, telling me not to take her crap.  So she started with the threats again.  I told her it was on.  Before we could tangle though (I was going to throw a punch, even though I was taught to let them make the first move), the bus driver got on the bus (she was outside talking to the principal about the overcrowded conditions), caught us, and threw us both off.  My friend and one of her friends came with us.  I told the principal what had been going on, but he didn't care.  Then I heard her out in the hallway bitching about me.  He didn't care about that either.  It ended with my mom talking to her mom (they were friends, and the shocking thing is, I grew up with this girl before I moved away), and she got on her daughter about it.  I still saw her around school, and she would always give me the stink eye, but I didn't care as long as she stayed away from me.

I finally felt good about middle school in the eighth grade, while she moved on to high school.  I can't say I cried any when I found out she had gotten her ass kicked the first week of high school for being mouthy with the wrong people.

Fast forward 12 years.  My mom had gone to her friend's father's funeral.  The girl was there....but she was very obviously a lesbian.  She asked my mom about me, how I was doing, and then apologized for everything. :o

So I guess that is a different perspective.  Was she being a bully because she was confused at the time about her own sexuality?

Oooh....there's another question too.  Has anyone ever had a bully apologize for their actions?

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Dagwood on 02/26/09 at 11:52 am

I had one girl threatening to beat me up every day on the way home from school for a week.  She idolized my sister and when my sis found out what she was saying to me, she basically told the bully to knock it off or she was toast.  (my sister and I don't resemble each other whatsoever and had different last names so the girl was clueless to our relationship)  She apologized after that one out of fear.  The funny thing is my sister was all talk, she never beat anyone up in her life...she was just older and I guess that was scary. ;D


One of the kids that bullied Sarah last year apologized on his own.  They watched a movie in class about bullies and the victim ended up getting hit by a car and dying because he was running from the bullies.  At recess one of the kids took her aside and apologized for hitting her one day.  This kid had hit her in the stomach one day on the way into class from recess.  She told the teacher and the teacher told her there was nothing she could do...it wasn't in class.  Yeah, great teacher who got fired a month before school ended.  And, yes, mom flipped and talked to the principal who did not a damn thing either.  I am so glad she is out of that school.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: wildcard on 02/26/09 at 1:18 pm

I'd consider the way my mother chose to raise me a form of bullying.  I did have a kid in school who would say I sucked and did things wrong.  No one liked me and no one at the time (9) understands things like what a brain tumor can do to someone.  No one liked me in 7th grade either. 

You don't want to hear about my life.  Just figure I've taken plenty of verbal abuse and know physically what pain can feel like through tests, doctor-hospital stuff.   

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Jessica on 02/26/09 at 2:11 pm


I'd consider the way my mother chose to raise me a form of bullying.  I did have a kid in school who would say I sucked and did things wrong.  No one liked me and no one at the time (9) understands things like what a brain tumor can do to someone.  No one liked me in 7th grade either. 

You don't want to hear about my life.  Just figure I've taken plenty of verbal abuse and know physically what pain can feel like through tests, doctor-hospital stuff.   


That is really crappy.  I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. {{{HUGS}}}

And of course we want to hear about you if you want to share it! :)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: wildcard on 02/26/09 at 5:04 pm


That is really crappy.  I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. {{{HUGS}}}

And of course we want to hear about you if you want to share it! :)


It's what made me what I am though and I can use it to defend my friends when I may need to do so and nothing verbal or physical will stop me.  That animal in my sig right now is a panther.  A panther will defend her brood with her live. 

I'll tell you everything about my past I can if you'd like me to, but maybe in my ask me thread or something.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Tam on 02/26/09 at 10:20 pm

I was bullied in middle school.
There were several girls who didn't like me I guess, and so threatened me almost daily, to kick my ass after school. One girl finally did slap me, and wouldn't you know the school didn't want any part in handling it. They figured that our parents should work it out. Funny thing is that her mother tried to bully my mother. Thank goodness my mom is a hardass and bullied back. It stopped until high school - where the girl and her sister went - and I went as well. Her sister tried to beat me up, but I stood there and took a slap across the face, I let no tears fall, and I proved that I wasn't going to let her get to me. She actually left me alone after that because she figured I wasn't worth the time or effort.

That's how I am though. When it comes to fight or flight, I pick flight every single time. Contrary to popular belief - I do not like confrontation.

Another time in middle school, I had the entire class pick on me. Well, I don't actually think I was being bullied, so much as it was that the other kids didn't understand. I was in 7th grade, and because of heredity, my psoriasis broke out all over my hands. My fingers would crack and bleed all over my pages. It was really disgusting. Well, the class started calling me "fungus fingers". Not fun. Next thing, I am at a birthday party sleepover and no one wanted to sleep anywhere near me because they thought they would 'catch' my fungus. I went home because it was simply too much to handle. See, not intentional - they just didn't know any better.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Step-chan on 02/27/09 at 11:31 pm

In the schools I started out in, it wasn't so bad.(There was a bully in the neighborhood, of course)

Middle and High School, wasn't as good. Being an outsider(I was new to that particular district), made me an easy target. In high school, it was mainly verbal, with only one physical altercation happening. I didn't win, but I was lucky more crap didn't happen than what did, considering my problems were kinda mild to some of the other stuff I've seen in this thread.

With all that, it was the typical stuck up Beech Grove attitude I experienced from others. I developed a pretty bad attitude towards school in general because of the Beech Grove district and graduated slighty above the minimum requirement and got my butt outta there. Didn't even go to the graduation ceremony.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Frank on 03/25/09 at 1:05 am

I was bullied in gradeschool. I was an English kid in a french school in Quebec, Canada. Only until I beat up the leader of the french gang (gave him a bleeding nose, bruised a rib, and he cried), they stopped bullying me...and then picked on the next victim (another English speaking kid of course)

One guy bullied me so much he was expelled from school (he threw me down some stairs and I went to the hospital with a broken nose). Being an English kid in a French school in the late 60's in Quebec wasn't much fun. We all brought knives to defend ourselves back then (never had to use it tho)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: whistledog on 03/25/09 at 2:15 am

I was bullied in the 7th grade, to the point where I used to cry the hurt away.  I usually kept to myself, basically I was a weakling and never stood up for myself because I was scared

I often think about all the various bullies that picked on me over the years and it really scares me.  All the anger built up over the years of me not standing up for myself is ready and waiting for someone IRL to piss me off. 

That person better pray they don't cross my path.  MWAHAHAHA

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 03/25/09 at 8:47 pm

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD.

Now, it was not the bullying in school per se that caused the PTSD; however, it certainly added to the trauma.  All the sh*t I was going through at home (a lot of which I don't even discuss with friends) made me seem vulnerable.  I gave off a depressed, nervous air that freaked other kids out.  Their response to it was relentless bullying. 

Back then there was still much more of a Lord of the Flies ethos about childhood.  You know, the strong shall survive and might makes right.  At the peak of the bullying, my Junior High vice principal flatly told me there was nothing he could do about it and that's just the way eighth grade kids are.  I think it's somewhat better now.  I noticed the news media did not take up bullying as a social pathology until Columbine.

I know the inclination to social hierarchy is primal.  As long as we're human beings, it'll be there.

I also know that some children and teens develop character by learning how to stand up to bullies and after they stand up to the bullies they get left alone, maybe they all become friends.  It did not happen with me.  I stood up to bullies numerous times but after I did so, they did not leave me alone; in fact, it got worse. 

There were three other students in my junior high who got the same severity of bullying I did.  I discovered each one of them was also being abused at home.  They too had an aura of unacceptable abnormality about them.  This is why I don't think bullying should be tolerated as a normal part of growing up.  There's a chance the young man or young woman who is being bullied is suffering a great deal more than anyone realizes.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Frank on 03/26/09 at 12:56 am


I was recently diagnosed with PTSD.

Now, it was not the bullying in school per se that caused the PTSD; however, it certainly added to the trauma.  All the sh*t I was going through at home (a lot of which I don't even discuss with friends) made me seem vulnerable.  I gave off a depressed, nervous air that freaked other kids out.  Their response to it was relentless bullying. 

Back then there was still much more of a Lord of the Flies ethos about childhood.  You know, the strong shall survive and might makes right.  At the peak of the bullying, my Junior High vice principal flatly told me there was nothing he could do about it and that's just the way eighth grade kids are.   I think it's somewhat better now.  I noticed the news media did not take up bullying as a social pathology until Columbine.

I know the inclination to social hierarchy is primal.  As long as we're human beings, it'll be there.

I also know that some children and teens develop character by learning how to stand up to bullies and after they stand up to the bullies they get left alone, maybe they all become friends.  It did not happen with me.  I stood up to bullies numerous times but after I did so, they did not leave me alone; in fact, it got worse. 

There were three other students in my junior high who got the same severity of bullying I did.  I discovered each one of them was also being abused at home.  They too had an aura of unacceptable abnormality about them.  This is why I don't think bullying should be tolerated as a normal part of growing up.  There's a chance the young man or young woman who is being bullied is suffering a great deal more than anyone realizes.


I never became friends with those who bullied me, but at least I was fortunate they didn't continue.
Some school bullies are real a-holes who should be punished, and severely so.
There are a few people I wish I could go back in time and whack them in the head with a baseball bat.
I still remember some of the bullies names. Maybe I should look them up on facebook.  ::)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Trimac20 on 03/26/09 at 9:11 pm


Since the other topic is locked and archived, I decided to start a new one.  Feel free to share any experiences you've had with bullies.  How did you overcome their bullying?  Does it still affect you to this day?

I remember my first experience with a bully.  It was in third grade, and this boy had been bullying my friend.  I didn't take kindly to this and tried to defend her.  He decided to get physical and SOCKED me right above my boob.  It might have ended there with him continuing the bullying nonsense, but by chance, my mom saw the bruise and asked what the hell was going on.  I tried to lie (this boy had a good number of us scared, me included, since he had actually gotten physical with me), but she caught on pretty quick and dragged the truth out of me.  She went up to the school the very next day and raised all sorts of hell on behalf of most of the third graders because it wasn't just an isolated situation.  The principal and the school therapist tried to play it off by saying that he was a troubled youth and that he was a foster kid because his parents had abused him.  My mom, who is the source of my bitchy attitude, then asked them if they knew all that, then why in the hell weren't they helping him more?  They couldn't answer that of course (because they were really sh*tty at their jobs), and within a few weeks, the boy had left for a special type of school that included a ton of therapy.  The next year, the principal and the school therapist were replaced.

I have more stories (including the taunting on the bus....oy ::)), but I'll type them out later.


You had boobs in 3rd grade? Haha, jk...yeah real friends stick up for one another. Sounds like my parents too lol.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Foo Bar on 03/26/09 at 10:12 pm

The other thing that really sucked is that most of mine was psychological bullying - rarely was there actually physical altercations. I had stuff stolen, destroyed, there were threats, rumors, all kinds of sheesh like that.


Funny end-of-bullying story. 

Yeah, I was the class nerd.  I was lucky in that there wasn't any violence or vandalism, just the usual verbal sniping from the sidelines whenever I walked to class on my way to racking up another string of straight As on the report card. 

But in my other life, I was good at video games.  And my folks weren't too keen on the hobby.  But when I was supposed to be going to some wholesome activity every week, that was fine with me, Mom.  I was so wholesome I was the guy saying "Hey, Mom, lemme borrow the car, lemme leave half an hour early so I don't have to worry about traffic and can still get there in time for the church group.  And sometimes, after the church group get-together, well, sometimes we get stuck discussing something really wholesome, or we have a burger or soemthing, and I'm not back until about an hour or so later.  You know how it is, Mom..."

The fact that the city's seediest downtown arcade was just a 5-minute walk from church had nothing to do with it.  And the fact that that extra time was just long enough for me to squeeze in a game or two in before and after the wholesomeness?  Coincidence, I tell you!

The arcade may have been but a 5-minute walk from the church, but it's a seedy one, even by arcade standards.  As in, there's a gawd-damn peep show in the basement.  And there's no air conditioning, even in August.  And all you have to do to not buy drugs is say "no thanks, man" when someone behind you asks if you're lookin 'for anything.  Fine by both of us; you don't bother them, they don't bother you - I was one of the people who was only there for the games.

So you get the idea.  It's a seedy arcade, but "Bob"-dammit, it's an arcade, and they've one of the town's handful of cockpit versions of Sega's Afterburner, and they never turn it off overnight.  It's got a record of high scores going back pretty much to the week the machine arrived.  The one that has speakers all around you, a 25-inch screen, and that pitches back and forth and rolls side to side as you duck and weave your way through the 20-minute hail of missiles.  The one that costs a buck to play, and that kills most beginners by the time they hit stage 4, and most good players by the time they hit stage 7.  On a good night, I can complete the game - all 23 stages - on one credit.  On a bad night, two credits.

This is one of the good nights.  It's nearly midnight, but I plunk in my buck, and in 20 minutes have finished the game on one credit with two ships to spare.  I carve the initials "FOO" into the top of a high score list that's consisted of nothing but FOO for months.

I cliimb outa the cockpit, brow dripping with sweat after having racked up another high score, and nod and grin sheepishly at the small gathering that had accumulated around the machine during the session.

And there's my nemesis.  Unlike the halls of our school, he's just as alone as I am.

First words out of his mouth are "What the hell are you doing down here, man?", and second are "I had no idea you were cool.  You're really FOO?  Where'd you learn to play like that?" :)

We gab for a bit as we watch the next player promptly get creamed.  He was as surprised to see me in the scuzzy part of downtown at this hour as I was to see him, as our school and our homes were in the blandlands of suburbia, and he was doubly surprised to see me cleaning up on one of the harder games in the arcade.  I took it in stride as best as I could - "Hey, you know me in real life.  I'm a computer nerd.  I live for this sorta stuff.  I suck at that whole social life thing, but machines?  Machines and me, we get along." - which was also the truth. 

Now I was never popular in high school, but in retrospect, it was the electronic equivalent of delivering a punch to the gut, the bullying stopped - permanentl - within a week.  No words; we still lived in different social circles back then, and had our respective images to maintain with our peers, but there was always a silent and discreet nod of respect whenever we passed each other.  I knew where he got his stash.  He knew I could rack up high scores on something more fun than school tests.

A few years later, when a mutual acquaintance got married, we both found ourselves at the same table, telling our respective sides of the stories, and laughing about it over beers about how silly we'd been about it back in the day. 

Cue Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days...

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Step-chan on 03/26/09 at 11:57 pm

I remember someone that was part of a group that targeted me for abit(including drawing degrading pics of me getting my a** kicked).

After I finished high school and starting working somewhere, one of the guys from that group ended working at the same place(but in the floral department). He asked me if I remembered him(for some reason, everybody else recognizes me, but I rarely remember them) and talked to me for abit. He was nice to me(first time I was treated like a human by him). He was one of the people who grew up since high school ended, unlike some of the others that had pop up from time to time(which I rarely see, because I don't live in the Beech Grove area now, I'll tell about them in another post).

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 04/04/09 at 8:09 pm

The big psycho bully who tormented me in the eighth grade went to the vocational school and I went to the town high school.  I didn't have to worry about Ben anymore, though he did swear he'd make good on his promise to murder me one way or the other!

The physical bullying was a thing of the past by the end of freshman year, but I was still glad Ben was at the Voke 'coz the kid was crazy; he had a hate complex. 

Now, not to sound all Garrison Keillor here, but this really happened...

I went to a party at the end of senior year at this kid Brian's house.  Brian was a friend of Ben.  Brian said, "Hey, Max, Ben's here...you remember Benny McCaunaghey, right?"  I went weak at the knees.  My eyes bugged out like a Volkswagen.  There was Ben after four years looking bigger and meaner than ever.  For a second I thought I was dogmeat.  The Ben cracked a big smile, gave me a hardy handshake and said, "Max, how ya doin'?  Great to see you, come on and get a beer..."
;D

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Step-chan on 04/10/09 at 11:29 pm

It's a good thing some grow out of it. ^

But there are some that don't(as I mentioned in my previous post).

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Marty McFly on 04/12/09 at 3:54 pm

I don't remember it too much (and I never did it to anyone else), but it was probably worse in late Elementary school, like when I was 10-12. Not for anything big, but I was just really shy and easily affected then, I was also small for my age.

Even though they're smaller and less threatening, kids that age can almost be worse than middle or high schoolers imo!

BTW I think the kids who do smaller but constant bullying on a regular basis (like verbal stuff) is actually WORSE than the jock who beats someone up for their lunch money once - just because you've got to put up with it on a daily basis. I'm sure that has a lasting effect and lowers people's self esteem.

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Reynolds1863 on 05/27/09 at 7:27 pm

I'm going to a high school reunion on Saturday.  I was excited about it until I found out that the bully from hell also decided to attend.  She was pretty mean back then and apparently she remembers picking on me with a sense of fondness.  In other words she's still mean.  I thought about bailing out, but I can't.  If she knew what I was going through back then maybe she would have been so harsh.  I'm just dreading this!!!

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Jessica on 05/27/09 at 7:46 pm


I'm going to a high school reunion on Saturday.  I was excited about it until I found out that the bully from hell also decided to attend.  She was pretty mean back then and apparently she remembers picking on me with a sense of fondness.  In other words she's still mean.  I thought about bailing out, but I can't.  If she knew what I was going through back then maybe she would have been so harsh.  I'm just dreading this!!!


Go up to her and say, "Hey, remember me?  You made my life shyt in high school.  Are you still the flaming twatwaffle that you were back then or did you finally grow up?"

Or something along those lines. :D

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Reynolds1863 on 05/27/09 at 7:51 pm


Go up to her and say, "Hey, remember me?  You made my life shyt in high school.  Are you still the flaming twatwaffle that you were back then or did you finally grow up?"

Or something along those lines. :D


You have the answers for everything. :)  I will do that.  Flaming twatwaffle.  *giggle snort*

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Dagwood on 05/28/09 at 5:34 pm


Flaming twatwaffle.  *giggle snort*


I second that *giggle snort* and add a BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: Reynolds1863 on 05/29/09 at 10:53 pm


I second that *giggle snort* and add a BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


Yeah, "flaming twatwaffle" is now my new favorite term. :)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 05/30/09 at 1:01 am


I don't remember it too much (and I never did it to anyone else), but it was probably worse in late Elementary school, like when I was 10-12. Not for anything big, but I was just really shy and easily affected then, I was also small for my age.

Even though they're smaller and less threatening, kids that age can almost be worse than middle or high schoolers imo!

BTW I think the kids who do smaller but constant bullying on a regular basis (like verbal stuff) is actually WORSE than the jock who beats someone up for their lunch money once - just because you've got to put up with it on a daily basis. I'm sure that has a lasting effect and lowers people's self esteem.


I did more than my share of verbal tormenting.  If there are people I went to school with who still remember me as an asshole, I can't say I did nothing to deserve it.
::)

Subject: Re: Bullies From All Over....

Written By: apollonia1986 on 05/30/09 at 9:47 pm

Gosh, I've had a really hard expierience with bullies. For three years, EVERYDAY while I was in middle school was a raving living hell. I know it's one thing to have like 1 person push your around, but I hadf like 20. I'm not joking. I was the ass of every joke and no one respected me. I mean I had to admit, I probably appeared strange to other students. I was the only fat kid in class and then I wore glasses and then I had my adoration of Michael Jackson.

I mean I was an easy target and to have an entire class of people walking all over you was hard. I'd get blamed for things I didnt even know about. I've had papers taken from me and torn up and had to go to summer school as a result. I've had things thrown on my clothing and in my hair...just a bunch of things.

I remember in 6th grade, my best friend was a white girl named Shelley (i'm black) And I don't know what set them off on us. Shelley was the only white girl in our class and I guess they thought I was supposed to be retarded like them and not like her. But Shelley was a nice person and like one of the few people who didn't treat me like (bleep). So liek friends we always sat together in class. And then people started saying we were gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but I'm NOT. I love men. And how could we be gay if I was hung up over Michael Jackson--sure he looks effiminate, but his is still bodily a MAN--and Shelley loved Jon Bon Jovi. And it was just hell for us, people would throw crap at us in class and when we'd tell them the stop, the dumbass teacher would put US in dentention.  >:( People would tell me Michael was dead to try to get a reaction out of me. ( I never gace them the satisfaction, because I was smart enough to know that if Michael sneezed funny, the news woild be cleared for it.)

It was just a really extremely hard time. And it was extremely hard for me because I'd go and be pretty much battered all day at school and then when I came home, my mother was starting to get ill and I didn't want to bother her with someone tearing up my papers when she's sitting in her room litterally green and unhappy. So it was alot for me to carry when I was only 11 or 12.  But I've come through it and I'm fine, but there were times when I just wanted to go postal. But I held myself together and I'm here now.

And every one of the (bleep)s that screwed with me in school are now fat and/or unwed mothers. And aside from a few kidney troubles, I'm healthy, in decent shape and happy.

So, I guess Karma is more than just a little mechanism on this site.  ;D

Besides I'm a writer and no writer is good unless at some point in time they're a tortured soul. That's how I see it. You gotta go through something to get to something.

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