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Subject: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/22/12 at 3:24 pm


I am an fat, black woman..... Much as the phrase pains me, I am morbidly obese.

I rarely hear people make fun of other people because they are of a certain race or gender. I mean, I guess you get the occasional 'because you're a woman' remark but really it's not so straight forward or in your face when it comes to your race or gender.  But people seem to have no problem jumping to the fat jokes and making comments as though you can't hear them.

I can count the number of times I felt I was treated inappropriately because I'm black on one hand.
I can't even think of a time I was blatantly chastised for being female
I can't begin to tell you how man times I have heard comments about my weight.


I was in line at an amusement park- last time I went because I refuse to go again until I lose weight. Two guys inline behind me decided to make sounds like the earth was shaking every time I took a step. It was humiliating and the whole time I wanted to turn and tell them off but I was with a friend and I couldn't tell if she was aware of it- I don't think she was- and I didn't want to go into the details with her so I just tried to ignore it but that was 10 yrs ago and it still hurts like it happened 5 minutes ago.

Once I was running to enter a store and some guy driving in another lane - let me preface this by saying he pulled out of a parking space  row away from me and and needed to go right to get out of the parking lot- instead he turned left, circled around and pulled up beside me so his friend could point and laugh 'Oh my god it can run'

Why is it okay to just make fun of people because they have oases they're struggling to deal with?  No one is fat by choice. If it were as simple as diet and exercise we'd all be skinny but there are a multitude of reasons for obesity (part of it is I like to eat and I hate to work out but also part of it is I ate to soothe pain I didn't want to address.

  Either way it shouldn't matter if a person is fat or not we still feel so why go out of your way to to be mean on that particular level.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm sick of fat jokes. It's not funny I don't care who you're talking about.  >:(



Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 02/22/12 at 3:45 pm

It is because being are insensitive and just plain rude!



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/22/12 at 4:04 pm


It is because being are insensitive and just plain rude!



Cat



I know

It's just, outside of friends where we've established the joking boundaries, I have a hard time accepting that people think there's no harm in the snide remarks....maybe it's just me but I'm more offended by the fat jokes than the racial ones... I don't hear the racial remarks nearly as often tho...

I have one stupid friend who does the racial thing and it does freaking annoy me (I'll be talking to her I just need to find the right way to do it) I know she thinks it's funny, it's not but it's still not as offensive as the weight stuff others do...I think the difference is the racial/gender stuff annoys the weight stuff stings. It's a different emotional path.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 02/22/12 at 4:19 pm

I think there are as many reasons that people make fun of overweight people as there are reasons why people are overweight.  I really think, however, that the people who just come right out and make fun of us are @ssholes.  Period.  I mean, I could get into the fact that they are insecure within themselves, and need someone to feel superior to, or that they were bullied about something when they were young, and on and on and on.  But you know what?  I feel insecure ALL the time.  And I was bullied as a kid, but somehow I still could never, in a million years, say some of the things that have been said to me.  I wouldn't say them to my worst enemy.  So I just have to believe that they are total jerks.  And then I feel sorry for those people, because I just can't fathom being that miserable of a human being.  Or having such a boring and insignifigant life that I have nothing better to say or do than criticize a complete stranger. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/22/12 at 4:27 pm


I think there are as many reasons that people make fun of overweight people as there are reasons why people are overweight.  I really think, however, that the people who just come right out and make fun of us are @ssholes.  Period.  I mean, I could get into the fact that they are insecure within themselves, and need someone to feel superior to, or that they were bullied about something when they were young, and on and on and on.  But you know what?  I feel insecure ALL the time.  And I was bullied as a kid, but somehow I still could never, in a million years, say some of the things that have been said to me.  I wouldn't say them to my worst enemy.  So I just have to believe that they are total jerks.  And then I feel sorry for those people, because I just can't fathom being that miserable of a human being.  Or having such a boring and insignifigant life that I have nothing better to say or do than criticize a complete stranger.


yeah that cycle of bullying....like the cycle of abuse is crap... just because it was done to you doesn't make it okay to do it to someone else. 

If they are insecure how in the hell does putting someone else down make them feel better, I mean I've had pretty crappy days and I snap sometimes but never make it personal and never try to put myself up by putting someone down.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 02/22/12 at 4:34 pm


yeah that cycle of bullying....like the cycle of abuse is crap... just because it was done to you doesn't make it okay to do it to someone else. 

If they are insecure how in the hell does putting someone else down make them feel better, I mean I've had pretty crappy days and I snap sometimes but never make it personal and never try to put myself up by putting someone down.


Simple: you're not an @sshole. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/22/12 at 4:38 pm


Simple: you're not an @sshole.


;D  good point!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: wildcard on 02/22/12 at 4:42 pm

now I know why my mom gained so mush weight and she blames it on having the 3 of us kids. ;)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 02/22/12 at 5:47 pm

People are jerks, plain and simple. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: wildcard on 02/22/12 at 6:04 pm


People are jerks, plain and simple.


or choose to act like to act like them for a time for whatever reason.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 02/22/12 at 6:26 pm

While I don't know the original concept of why it's acceptable to make fun of fat people, I think there are layers of reasons and "offenses" (for lack of a better word).  Like in Q's story in another thread, when teenage/college-age boys and girls get together, they copy each other in cruelty just because it simultaniously takes the focus off themselves (and whatever imperfections they might see within themselves but are terrified that their friends will notice); and put the focus on someone else to become the target. 

At the same time, I do think t.v., film, videogames, and music industries need to take some of the blame.  They are constantly pushing images of beauty that may or may not be realistic and attainable to the average Joe.  After a lifetime of seeing these images, people think that is the standard (rather then accepting people on an individual basis.)  I've met beautiful people that have beautiful souls too, as well as people that could really use a good dose of karma.  Same with people that don't necessarily fit the standard beauty mode.

After saying all that, I still think everyone is an individual.  I have personal tastes in what I find attractive, some that may surprise or not be standard.  I think if someone is strong enough to stand up for their right to be individual, then alot of prejudices would fall away.  There is prejudice in all ages of people, all makes, models. 

I have a long way to go to fit the standard beauty model myself, alot of it is things I could solve if I worked harder at it, some of which I really need therapy for, some I just could care less of what others say or make fun of me.  They don't like what I look like then screw 'em, they don't have to look at me.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 02/22/12 at 8:14 pm

When I have challenged the @ssholes, they say: Fat people are lazy.  The could lose weight if they ate less and exercised more.

In other words, overweight people choose to be overweight.  I try to explain it's not really a choice and that many overweight people try hard to lose weight but it is extremely difficult due to glandular or metabolic disorders.  The @ssholes won't listen...because they're @zzholes


::)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/22/12 at 8:25 pm

Well at least you try max  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Step-chan on 02/22/12 at 10:21 pm


When I have challenged the @ssholes, they say: Fat people are lazy.  The could lose weight if they ate less and exercised more.

In other words, overweight people choose to be overweight.  I try to explain it's not really a choice and that many overweight people try hard to lose weight but it is extremely difficult due to glandular or metabolic disorders.  The @ssholes won't listen...because they're @butts. 

::)


That they are.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: ADH13 on 02/22/12 at 11:44 pm



Q - from the pictures I've seen of you, I'd hardly call you obese.  Chunky, maybe?  But more than half of the population is overweight, including myself...

My husband is quite a bit overweight... and I'm curious if you would have the same reaction if an overweight person made a joke (assuming you could tell is was meant in good fun)  My husband doesn't mind that, and he does it to other friends as well...

One time we were at one of his company functions and he made a comment to someone he knew, the guy didn't seem to mind and from what I could tell, genuinely was amused by it... but I told my husband that he should watch what he says... he said "Don't worry about it, I weigh more than he does!"

So I'm curious if that does make a difference...

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/23/12 at 12:03 am

Thx Andrea- according to my docs tho m.o. Is the caregory.

Self depricrating humor is different- I'm guilty of it to but ice found I often use it as a defense mechanism.
Let me get the joke out there before someone else says it.

There's also a tone. Im not really talking about buddies hanging out and ribbing each other - I realize it's a fine line and maybe I'm not drawing it clearly.  I've said pretty stupid things to try and get a laugh often at my own expense sometimes at the expense of others but these people I have a defined relationship with you know we've established boundaries- pushed them and put them back.

I think it's the "humor" that comes from judgement. I love Joel McHale with all my heart but it seems like The writers on the Soup always go for the fat joke. 

I'll be honest- I started this thread because I got pissed off by a remark posted in another thread. Forget Kim Jong un's politics cuzi don't care.... Why's tge comment gotta be fat boy?  It triggered all those hurtful obeys I've experienced where people were blatantly derogartory against me because of my weight.

I've been called ****** to my face twice it pissed me off. I've been made fun of Because I'm fat way more often and that hurts like hell

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/23/12 at 12:09 am


While I don't know the original concept of why it's acceptable to make fun of fat people, I think there are layers of reasons and "offenses" (for lack of a better word).  Like in Q's story in another thread, when teenage/college-age boys and girls get together, they copy each other in cruelty just because it simultaniously takes the focus off themselves (and whatever imperfections they might see within themselves but are terrified that their friends will notice); and put the focus on someone else to become the target. 

At the same time, I do think t.v., film, videogames, and music industries need to take some of the blame.  They are constantly pushing images of beauty that may or may not be realistic and attainable to the average Joe.  After a lifetime of seeing these images, people think that is the standard (rather then accepting people on an individual basis.)  I've met beautiful people that have beautiful souls too, as well as people that could really use a good dose of karma.  Same with people that don't necessarily fit the standard beauty mode.

After saying all that, I still think everyone is an individual.  I have personal tastes in what I find attractive, some that may surprise or not be standard.  I think if someone is strong enough to stand up for their right to be individual, then alot of prejudices would fall away.  There is prejudice in all ages of people, all makes, models. 

I have a long way to go to fit the standard beauty model myself, alot of it is things I could solve if I worked harder at it, some of which I really need therapy for, some I just could care less of what others say or make fun of me.  They don't like what I look like then screw 'em, they don't have to look at me.  ;D


I missed this earlier yeah I do blame movies and tv to some extent - not just for their skewed standards of beauty but because they make it okay to make fun of people for a variety of reason.

I've gotta find this ep of the practice (I think season one) where Cameron manhym (Elanor) gives a summation on this very topic. It moved me to tears then and I was like 130lbs lighter

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Foo Bar on 02/23/12 at 12:51 am


When I have challenged the @ssholes, they say: Fat people are lazy.  The could lose weight if they ate less and exercised more.

In other words, overweight people choose to be overweight.  I try to explain it's not really a choice and that many overweight people try hard to lose weight but it is extremely difficult due to glandular or metabolic disorders.  The @ssholes won't listen...because they're @zzholes


::)


The perception's nearly universal - and it's been a significant obstacle even in the medical community.  Today's FDA Advisory Committee Hearing touched on part of that debate.  (Until the transcript is at the FDA's site, the liveblog is your best publicly-available source for how today's debate went down.)

First off, there's a medical fact: exercise and diet have no side effects, and it's extraordinarily difficult to come up with a pill that has a better safety profile.  Stung by its failure in approving Meridia (a drug that helped people lose weight, but probably caused more heart attacks than it prevented!), three advisory committees advised denial for three candidate drugs from three separate companies last year, and the FDA followed suit.

This afternoon, a new committee voted for approval, although the FDA could still require an multiyear pre-approval cardiovascular risk study despite today's surprise nod from the advisory committee.

You're going to read about this pill in the news, if you haven't already heard about it tonight.  There is insufficient data at present to rule out cardiovascular risks, there are psychiatric side effects, and for women who may become pregnant, there is an increase in the risk of birth defects, particularly cleft palate.  The best responders to the pill in the clinical trials were the ones who combined it with diet and exercise (no surprise!).  If the drug is ultimately approved next month, anyone considering taking it should read the briefing information and/or discuss it with their physician.

Over the roller-coaster ride I've seen in this and related names, I've seen countless people go much further than merely stating the obvious fact that it's damn hard to prove that your drug's at least as safe as diet and exercise.  Most professionals recognize it's an unmet need, but acknowledge that it's a high hurdle to overcome, but a lot of people believe that those want to use a pill to aid in weight loss are somehow less moral than those who do it the hard way, namely through diet and exercise.  If they had to do it the hard way, why shouldn't everyone?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/23/12 at 7:06 am


People are jerks, plain and simple.


and quite insensitive.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/23/12 at 7:11 am

My Father has been obese for years and he knows it and My Mother knows it too but he laughs about it along with the toilet humor too. My Mother makes fun of him in a comedic way, just taking it with a grain a salt and not letting it bother him so much.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 02/23/12 at 9:47 am


When I have challenged the @ssholes, they say: Fat people are lazy.  The could lose weight if they ate less and exercised more.

In other words, overweight people choose to be overweight.  I try to explain it's not really a choice and that many overweight people try hard to lose weight but it is extremely difficult due to glandular or metabolic disorders.  The @ssholes won't listen...because they're @zzholes


::)


I do understand what people mean about people "choosing" to be overweight, but IMO, it's very much the same thing as saying an alcoholic chooses to be an alcoholic or an addict chooses to be an addict.  We all have personal responsibility for our actions.  But I feel like, with any addiction, the addiction to food has much deeper roots than people think.  Again, the reasons vary from person to person, but I truly believe that all of the diet and exercise in the world will never get to the root of the problem.  That's where we need to start. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 02/23/12 at 1:11 pm

I never fell for the whole excuse or 'explanation' that people who make fun of others are insecure. I probably never will fall for it!

I think some people are just a**holes, plain and simple, and if some of them fell of a cliff, I'm not going to feel very sorry for them am I?  ;)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/23/12 at 2:21 pm


I do understand what people mean about people "choosing" to be overweight, but IMO, it's very much the same thing as saying an alcoholic chooses to be an alcoholic or an addict chooses to be an addict.  We all have personal responsibility for our actions.  But I feel like, with any addiction, the addiction to food has much deeper roots than people think.  Again, the reasons vary from person to person, but I truly believe that all of the diet and exercise in the world will never get to the root of the problem.  That's where we need to start.



You said it perfectly.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 02/23/12 at 7:11 pm

I just don't like the notion that it's okay to be cruel to somebody if the problem can be construed as their "fault."

Never laugh at another person's pain.  It's bad mojo.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/23/12 at 8:49 pm


You don't want them to sit on you, now do you?


That was innappropriate Howard and proves my point.  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/23/12 at 8:55 pm


I just don't like the notion that it's okay to be cruel to somebody if the problem can be construed as their "fault."

Never laugh at another person's pain.  It's bad mojo.


Their "fault" or not- it's just not okay.
And since no ones walking around with signs saying
"I was molested"
"I was abandoned"
"I have injuries and can't workout"
"I have mommy/daddy/sig other issues"
"I have OCD"
"I have impulse control issues"
"I really like fries"
"I have a thyroid or metabolism issues"
"I don't know what issues I have but I know I have them"
"I didn't realize it got this bad"

Whatever the reasons are - no one can see whst they are so putting someone down for being fat is just piling on top of whatever crap it is they're carrying around with them.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 02/23/12 at 9:47 pm


You don't want them to sit on you, now do you?


Wow, Howard.  Totally inappropriate.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/23/12 at 10:18 pm

Taking a page from Karens play book.

This is post 28


Howard...going back and deleting the post is not going to change the fact you wrote it.
Being embarrassed you wrote it and apologizing after the fact does not erase the sting.

I mean the idea is getting people to think before they speak and getting them to understand that off the cuff fat jokes are not okay.

It's the entire point of this thread. How could you miss (or forget) that?  >:(


Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 02/23/12 at 11:30 pm


You don't want them to sit on you, now do you?


http://i1211.photobucket.com/albums/cc433/Hawkke/Epic_Facepalm_by_RJTH25255B125255D5.jpg

I am not going to turn this into another Howard thread, so that's all I'll say about his comment.

I'll write about my own experiences with the twatwaffles of the world tomorrow.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: ADH13 on 02/23/12 at 11:53 pm


Thx Andrea- according to my docs tho m.o. Is the caregory.

Self depricrating humor is different- I'm guilty of it to but ice found I often use it as a defense mechanism.
Let me get the joke out there before someone else says it.

There's also a tone. Im not really talking about buddies hanging out and ribbing each other - I realize it's a fine line and maybe I'm not drawing it clearly.  I've said pretty stupid things to try and get a laugh often at my own expense sometimes at the expense of others but these people I have a defined relationship with you know we've established boundaries- pushed them and put them back.

I think it's the "humor" that comes from judgement. I love Joel McHale with all my heart but it seems like The writers on the Soup always go for the fat joke. 

I'll be honest- I started this thread because I got pissed off by a remark posted in another thread. Forget Kim Jong un's politics cuzi don't care.... Why's tge comment gotta be fat boy?  It triggered all those hurtful obeys I've experienced where people were blatantly derogartory against me because of my weight.

I've been called ****** to my face twice it pissed me off. I've been made fun of Because I'm fat way more often and that hurts like hell


Thanks, it is good to have another point of view... I would never joke about someone's weight, but my husband was pretty much saying he had a pass to do it (among friends) because he is obviously overweight himself... I was a bit uncomfortable with him doing that...

Some of you may know that I'm in my thirties, but most of my hair is gray and I have arthritis in my knees... I have trouble climbing the stairs at work on cold mornings.... so sometimes people call me Grandma...  it doesn't bother me at all when the person saying it is in the same boat, but I probably wouldn't appreciate it as much from a random 16 year old...

Definitely something to ponder...

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/24/12 at 1:56 am


Thanks, it is good to have another point of view... I would never joke about someone's weight, but my husband was pretty much saying he had a pass to do it (among friends) because he is obviously overweight himself... I was a bit uncomfortable with him doing that...

Some of you may know that I'm in my thirties, but most of my hair is gray and I have arthritis in my knees... I have trouble climbing the stairs at work on cold mornings.... so sometimes people call me Grandma...  it doesn't bother me at all when the person saying it is in the same boat, but I probably wouldn't appreciate it as much from a random 16 year old...

Definitely something to ponder...



Fer sure.  Most definitely in established relationships the lines are absolutlely blurred. I have friends that I can joke about sensitive things with but if I don't know you that well don't go there with me.

The adage you can cuz you're one of them still has its boundaries tho.
Like- with race- people say it's okay if I say that because I'm black or I'm Mexican or whatever.  Not necessarily- you have to consider your audience and their experience as a whole. People may start in the same place or end up in the same place but their experiences still vary.  Does that make sense at all?
Just because someone is like me doesn't mean I want them commenting about me. I had someone say "us fat girls know how it is" ya know....maybe I do maybe I don't but since I don't know you I don't fell comfortable being included in you generalization and who you calling fat!?! Lol.  But everyone is different I mean if my friend who is also large says us fat girls know how it is I may say 'yeah we do' because Shes my sister and I love her and I know where she's coming from.

It's truly a fine line. Some do it well some fail miserably.
I always look at comedians - there are some comedians who are so good at finding that balance. Takings may can make fat jokes all day long and I get it because he's speaking the truth of his experiences I've seen other overweight comics try and I don't laugh because the delivery is off or the tone is all wrong.

I remember seeing Wanda Sykes doing some filler at an awards show. She was killing and it was walking that racial line. She turned to bill Cosby and he was completely offended. Again sometimes it just doesn't work for everyone.

I feel like I'm rambling but I hope I made some sense.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Henk on 02/24/12 at 5:19 am



Fer sure.  Most definitely in established relationships the lines are absolutlely blurred. I have friends that I can joke about sensitive things with but if I don't know you that well don't go there with me.

The adage you can cuz you're one of them still has its boundaries tho.
Like- with race- people say it's okay if I say that because I'm black or I'm Mexican or whatever.  Not necessarily- you have to consider your audience and their experience as a whole. People may start in the same place or end up in the same place but their experiences still vary.  Does that make sense at all?
Just because someone is like me doesn't mean I want them commenting about me. I had someone say "us fat girls know how it is" ya know....maybe I do maybe I don't but since I don't know you I don't fell comfortable being included in you generalization and who you calling fat!?! Lol.  But everyone is different I mean if my friend who is also large says us fat girls know how it is I may say 'yeah we do' because Shes my sister and I love her and I know where she's coming from.

It's truly a fine line. Some do it well some fail miserably.
I always look at comedians - there are some comedians who are so good at finding that balance. Takings may can make fat jokes all day long and I get it because he's speaking the truth of his experiences I've seen other overweight comics try and I don't laugh because the delivery is off or the tone is all wrong.

I remember seeing Wanda Sykes doing some filler at an awards show. She was killing and it was walking that racial line. She turned to bill Cosby and he was completely offended. Again sometimes it just doesn't work for everyone.

I feel like I'm rambling but I hope I made some sense.


You're still making perfect sense to me. It's a very fine line, and just because your friend can make fun of you (and get away with it) doesn't mean your neighbor/your co-worker/a total stranger can as well.

The shortest way I can put it: there is no fun in obesity. Period.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/24/12 at 6:49 am


That was innappropriate Howard and proves my point.  >:(


Sorry Q for my insensitivity, I take back what I said I didn't mean to insult you.  :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/24/12 at 6:50 am


Wow, Howard.  Totally inappropriate.


I'm sorry Dag, I apologize for my insensitivity. :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/24/12 at 6:52 am


Taking a page from Karens play book.

This is post 28


Howard...going back and deleting the post is not going to change the fact you wrote it.
Being embarrassed you wrote it and apologizing after the fact does not erase the sting.

I mean the idea is getting people to think before they speak and getting them to understand that off the cuff fat jokes are not okay.

It's the entire point of this thread. How could you miss (or forget) that?  >:(


I just feel bad and embarassed from what I wrote.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Don Carlos on 02/24/12 at 9:53 am



Fer sure.  Most definitely in established relationships the lines are absolutlely blurred. I have friends that I can joke about sensitive things with but if I don't know you that well don't go there with me.

The adage you can cuz you're one of them still has its boundaries tho.
Like- with race- people say it's okay if I say that because I'm black or I'm Mexican or whatever.  Not necessarily- you have to consider your audience and their experience as a whole. People may start in the same place or end up in the same place but their experiences still vary.  Does that make sense at all?
Just because someone is like me doesn't mean I want them commenting about me. I had someone say "us fat girls know how it is" ya know....maybe I do maybe I don't but since I don't know you I don't fell comfortable being included in you generalization and who you calling fat!?! Lol.  But everyone is different I mean if my friend who is also large says us fat girls know how it is I may say 'yeah we do' because Shes my sister and I love her and I know where she's coming from.

It's truly a fine line. Some do it well some fail miserably.
I always look at comedians - there are some comedians who are so good at finding that balance. Takings may can make fat jokes all day long and I get it because he's speaking the truth of his experiences I've seen other overweight comics try and I don't laugh because the delivery is off or the tone is all wrong.

I remember seeing Wanda Sykes doing some filler at an awards show. She was killing and it was walking that racial line. She turned to bill Cosby and he was completely offended. Again sometimes it just doesn't work for everyone.

I feel like I'm rambling but I hope I made some sense.



Speaking of Bill Cosby, didn't he do a routine about "Fat Albert"?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 02/24/12 at 10:25 am

I was taught at an early age that people who have weight problems are not always at fault. I have one sister who has always been heavier than the rest of us. We all ate the same food so why should she be heavier? We always said that she is "big boned." Later, we learned that it was thyroid condition. So, when I see someone on the heavy side, I don't assume that they are that way because they do nothing but eat all day. It could be a medical problem, hormones (which has caused me to gain weight in the last couple of years), it could be because of meds, or it could be because they eat all day. You never know and shouldn't assume that it is their fault. And even if it isn't a physical problem, it can very well be a psychological problem and making snide and rude remarks doesn't help the situation any. 


The funny thing is, many of the really close friends I have had throughout my lifetime have always been on the heavy side. I don't know why-it just turned out that way.


Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/24/12 at 10:28 am



Speaking of Bill Cosby, didn't he do a routine about "Fat Albert"?


Fat Albert was based on a friend he grew up with. There were fat jokes in the series and not necessarily good ones but there's that fine line of your friends good natured ribbing versus random jackass on the street with no regard for the basic concept of human kindness....

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/24/12 at 10:31 am


Sorry Q for my insensitivity, I take back what I said I didn't mean to insult you.  :(



I'm sorry Dag, I apologize for my insensitivity. :(



I just feel bad and embarassed from what I wrote.



and as expected you deleted the post.    ::)


I wonder if you even read this....







Howard...going back and deleting the post is not going to change the fact you wrote it.
Being embarrassed you wrote it and apologizing after the fact does not erase the sting.

I mean the idea is getting people to think before they speak and getting them to understand that off the cuff fat jokes are not okay.

It's the entire point of this thread. How could you miss (or forget) that?  >:(




Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 02/24/12 at 5:20 pm

I used to be wicked self-conscious about my height.  I'm 5' 5 1/2".  Women are particularly cruel about it.  "I don't date shorties."  It doesn't matter if she's 4' 8".  They don't want short men in the gene pool.  It's the biggest reason I quit dating sites.  I'd automatically get scanned out of profiles because of DWS (dating while short).  Of course, these are the same women who at 37 y.o. would put their college freshman yearbook pic on their profile...so go figure.

What changed?  I got older and stopped giving a crap.  Oh, God did cut me a deal.  He said he couldn't let me grow any more at the ends, but I could grow in the middle!
:D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/24/12 at 7:35 pm



Speaking of Bill Cosby, didn't he do a routine about "Fat Albert"?


Wasn't his routine in his film called Myself from 1983? ???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/24/12 at 7:36 pm



and as expected you deleted the post.    ::)


I wonder if you even read this....


I just feel embarassed to keep it up so I deleted the post. :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/24/12 at 7:39 pm

My Father who used to be skinny quite a long time ago is pretty obese now, it's getting to the point where he has no willpower and everytime we go shopping together he has to buy his usual cookies and ice cream duiring the summer when it's on sale plus you have the munchies which once in a while we buy so as you can see we love our munchies.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Foo Bar on 02/25/12 at 5:15 am

Warning: I feel a song coming on!

http://www.welcometolace.org/static/images/DSC_1419-copy.jpg

(My muse is a fickle bitch, and she was PMSing tonight.  The Power Of Squirrel compelled me.)


I just don't like the notion that it's okay to be cruel to somebody if the problem can be construed as their "fault."


I'm totally with you there - it's poor form to be cruel to someone when it's not their fault.  But let's not get extreme here.


Never laugh at another person's pain.  It's bad mojo.


Sorry, Maxwell, human nature, nothin' I can do!
It's - schadenfreude - makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!
Maxwell Smart: (Well that's not very nice, Foo!)
Foo Bar: (I didn't say it was nice.  But everybody does it!)

http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2991_small.jpg

Max: Ya ever clap when a waitress falls, and drops a tray of glasses?
Max: (Yeah...)
Foo: And ain't it fun to watch futures traders fallin' on their asses?
Max: (Sure!)
Foo: Don'tcha feel all warm and cozy, watching Rick Santorum's campaign...
Max: (fail!)
Foo: That's schadenfreude!  People taking pleasure in your pain!

eaweoMfJlHU

Max: Oh, "schadenfreude", huh?  What's that, some kinda Nazi word?
Foo: Ja, it's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others."
Max: Happiness at the misfortune of others?  That is German!
LyricBoy: Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken!
Sir Billzy: Or watching a fratboy realize just what he put his dick in!
ChuckyG: Being an 00ze moderator when somebody trolls "'94"!
Everybody: BANNED!
Foo: Schadenfreude!  That's what decadeology is for!


I used to be wicked self-conscious about my height.  I'm 5' 5 1/2".



I am a fat, black woman...



You don't want them to sit on you, now do you?



And posting stuff like this is how I spend my Friday nights!


Unlike the Internet, which is a place in which nobody has to know the color of one's skin, the configuration of one's genitals, nor the size of Fooone's beer gut, the physical appearance and race of original Broadway cast performer Natalie Venetia Belcon (portraying Foo BarGary Coleman ;) is directly, delightfully, and deliriously pertinent to this thread.

4XmZIcmRKkc

Foo: The world needs people like you and me, who've been knocked around by fate,
Foo: 'cos when people see us they don't wanna be us, and that makes them feel great!
Max: Sure, we provide a vital service - to society!
Both: You and me!  Schadenfreude!  Makin' the world a better place!
Both: Makin' the world a better place,
Both: Makin' the world a better plaaaace - to beeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Foo: S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E! 
  - With apologies to the cast of Avenue Q, and my gratitude for the Schadenfreude.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 02/25/12 at 1:08 pm

Don't worry Q, I'm not skinny either.

I've lost 25 pounds, but got a ways to go!

I think since you're a female, it's worse than it is for me. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make people stop making those jokes to you (and me), but I can't.

That'll be sweet if you lost even more weight and even sweeter if people would just stop mouthing off no matter our weight.

-Peace-

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/25/12 at 1:23 pm


Don't worry Q, I'm not skinny either.

I've lost 25 pounds, but got a ways to go!

I think since you're a female, it's worse than it is for me. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make people stop making those jokes to you (and me), but I can't.

That'll be sweet if you lost even more weight and even sweeter if people would just stop mouthing off no matter our weight.

-Peace-


Thanks!  :) 
backatcha and congrats on the weight loss. O0

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: ChuckyG on 02/27/12 at 9:41 pm

Split the topic, and just deleted everything after "bornin89" or whatever his stupid name was started posting. 

I could tell they were trouble from his first post in the signup thread, and how quickly they began posting. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/28/12 at 2:29 am



so....how's everyone doing? had to work yesterday and couldn't check in.... did I miss something  ???



:D





I don't really know exactly what transpired but i heard it was epic!!!

um......sorry  :-\\    and    THANKS!!!! to all those who stepped up in my absence  8) O0
I'm handing out karma tomorrow....
please start listing who needs to be added to the list-

Ash
Don C (that was the last post I saw....thanks for what you said)
2kidsami
jessica
loki
bobo
tam
chucky
anyone else make posts I didn't hear about?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Henk on 02/28/12 at 3:21 am



so....how's everyone doing? had to work yesterday and couldn't check in.... did I miss something  ???



:D





I don't really know exactly what transpired but i heard it was epic!!!

um......sorry  :-\\    and    THANKS!!!! to all those who stepped up in my absence  8) O0
I'm handing out karma tomorrow....
please start listing who needs to be added to the list-

Ash
Don C (that was the last post I saw....thanks for what you said)
2kidsami
jessica
loki
bobo
tam
chucky
anyone else make posts I didn't hear about?


Well I wish I could take some credit as well. But it seems I've missed all the action too (as usual).

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/28/12 at 6:22 pm



so....how's everyone doing? had to work yesterday and couldn't check in.... did I miss something  ???



:D





I don't really know exactly what transpired but i heard it was epic!!!

um......sorry  :-\\    and    THANKS!!!! to all those who stepped up in my absence  8) O0
I'm handing out karma tomorrow....
please start listing who needs to be added to the list-

Ash
Don C (that was the last post I saw....thanks for what you said)
2kidsami
jessica
loki
bobo
tam
chucky
anyone else make posts I didn't hear about?
Well you know Maxwell posted too, telling us to give it a rest.... 






Alas I was really offended since someone telling me to go kill myself...  So no laying low, couldn't wouldn't and ain't happening. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/28/12 at 6:27 pm


Well you know Maxwell posted too, telling us to give it a rest.... 






Alas I was really offended since someone telling me to go kill myself...  So no laying low, couldn't wouldn't and ain't happening.


well then it sounds like he doesn't deserve karma....

am i missing any people who do? 


by the way I once told by a douche (I'm guessing it's the same guy) that he hoped santa would come to my house and rape my kids.....joke was on him tho cuz I don't have kids.  I wouldn't let the words of a bored troll carry that much weight. He was trying to get to you and it worked....he's not worth a second, third or fourth thought.  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/28/12 at 6:44 pm


well then it sounds like he doesn't deserve karma....

am i missing any people who do? 


by the way I once told by a douche (I'm guessing it's the same guy) that he hoped santa would come to my house and rape my kids.....joke was on him tho cuz I don't have kids.  I wouldn't let the words of a bored troll carry that much weight. He was trying to get to you and it worked....he's not worth a second, third or fourth thought.  >:(
Naa... I just thought he really needed help, because if he is saying stuff like that on a message board... how hurtful was he in real life.  I was put off by the offensiveness of it all.  Just sooo completely wrong and could really damage a more fragile figure  ;)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/28/12 at 6:48 pm


Naa... I just thought he really needed help, because if he is saying stuff like that on a message board... how hurtful was he in real life.  I was put off by the offensiveness of it all.  Just sooo completely wrong and could really damage a more fragile figure  ;)
I don't remember anyone else... Was Carol in there early in the day. Dang I read them, but I just don't remember

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 02/28/12 at 6:54 pm

I was gone all day yesterday, I guess I missed more drama?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/28/12 at 7:17 pm


I was gone all day yesterday, I guess I missed more drama?
Yep!  I got here just in time  :P  NOT...  I took time to post my rational, and it is gone 2 hours later (probably took me two hours to compose)  :P

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 02/28/12 at 7:19 pm

BTW - I did learn from it all....


SMILE ( ::))  - It will either warm their heart or piss them off... either way you win!!!!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 02/28/12 at 7:27 pm


well then it sounds like he doesn't deserve karma....

am i missing any people who do? 


by the way I once told by a douche (I'm guessing it's the same guy) that he hoped santa would come to my house and rape my kids.....joke was on him tho cuz I don't have kids.  I wouldn't let the words of a bored troll carry that much weight. He was trying to get to you and it worked....he's not worth a second, third or fourth thought.  >:(


Whoever said that IS a douche! >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 02/28/12 at 9:48 pm


Whoever said that IS a douche! >:(


YES HE WAS!  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 02/28/12 at 9:56 pm


Whoever said that IS a douche! >:(


Karma for that one Howard.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 02/29/12 at 9:39 pm

Wow, I leave for a couple of days and miss all the fun. :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: lorac61469 on 02/29/12 at 10:55 pm

I wasn't around much, so I guess I missed it too.  Sorry I didn't get to stick up for anyone!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/01/12 at 7:27 am

I know I mentioned this once before but my Father is obese and he knows it. My Mother And I we both make fun of him in a comedy way it's just the way he loves his cookies and ice cream most of the time. Having aches and pains makes it hard for him to lose weight. Being obese is like his shtick if you understand what I'm talking about.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: goodsally on 03/01/12 at 11:58 am

It's a good question.

It's not new though.  It's just that it remains the last acceptable category or ridicule based on looks.  People no longer make comments about people with hearing aids or cleft-palette (I used to hear kids be called "hair-lip"), etc.

I think part of it comes from our health culture and part of it comes from the media perpetuating dorogatory images of overweight people.  It's really sad.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Henk on 03/01/12 at 2:03 pm

Well look who's back...

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/01/12 at 8:39 pm


Well look who's back...


I'm not sure in capable of figuring it out.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Henk on 03/02/12 at 2:29 am


I'm not sure in capable of figuring it out.


No?

Well, methinks goodsally is a troll. Same sig line as the previous incarnation(s).

There. I've said it.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 03/02/12 at 6:48 am


No?

Well, methinks goodsally is a troll. Same sig line as the previous incarnation(s).

There. I've said it.
really????  LOL

I never paid any attention. 

:D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: lorac61469 on 03/02/12 at 8:36 am


No?

Well, methinks goodsally is a troll. Same sig line as the previous incarnation(s).

There. I've said it.


I noticed that too, I was beginning to wonder if that just automatically shows up on your profile when you become a member.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Henk on 03/02/12 at 9:54 am


No?

Well, methinks goodsally is a troll. Same sig line as the previous incarnation(s).

There. I've said it.


And I'll take it back. According to Chucky it's a default setting. Every new user gets it automatically.


So here: my sincerest apologies to goodsally. Hope it's not too late.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 03/02/12 at 10:44 am


And I'll take it back. According to Chucky it's a default setting. Every new user gets it automatically.


So here: my sincerest apologies to goodsally. Hope it's not too late.



I made the same mistake and asked Chucky about it. He said that all newbies after the new software kicked in, will have the same thing-unless they change it.



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/02/12 at 4:27 pm


No?

Well, methinks goodsally is a troll. Same sig line as the previous incarnation(s).

There. I've said it.


Tgat was a joke Henk....in reference to comment we're all unintelligent  :


Sami/carol. The pop music is a default set by chucky every one new has it til they change it

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/03/12 at 2:49 pm

So, in case you haven't heard, it's time for paleyfest!  :D

I am super excited for the community paleyfest panel I got some fan t-shirts made at Vista print (good weekend deals, cheap shirts tho -get what you pay for)
I was showing my friend my shirts and she said Wow those shirts are huge  :-\\
Ya know, they're XXL so not that huge  >:(

If it had been Dec they wouldve been xxxl

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/03/12 at 7:08 pm


So, in case you haven't heard, it's time for paleyfest!  :D

I am super excited for the community paleyfest panel I got some fan t-shirts made at Vista print (good weekend deals, cheap shirts tho -get what you pay for)
I was showing my friend my shirts and she said Wow those shirts are huge  :-\\
Ya know, they're XXL so not that huge  >:(

If it had been Dec they wouldve been xxxl


I hope you told her to eff herself.  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/03/12 at 7:38 pm


So, in case you haven't heard, it's time for paleyfest!  :D

I am super excited for the community paleyfest panel I got some fan t-shirts made at Vista print (good weekend deals, cheap shirts tho -get what you pay for)
I was showing my friend my shirts and she said Wow those shirts are huge  :-\\
Ya know, they're XXL so not that huge  >:(

If it had been Dec they wouldve been xxxl


That wasn't nice of her!  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 03/03/12 at 10:21 pm


So, in case you haven't heard, it's time for paleyfest!  :D

I am super excited for the community paleyfest panel I got some fan t-shirts made at Vista print (good weekend deals, cheap shirts tho -get what you pay for)
I was showing my friend my shirts and she said Wow those shirts are huge  :-\\
Ya know, they're XXL so not that huge  >:(

If it had been Dec they wouldve been xxxl
I would her told her that you did it on purpose, cause they will fit more autographs, or longer messages.  BITE ME CHICCY - Tell her off!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 03/03/12 at 10:22 pm


I hope you told her to eff herself.  >:(
see, but don't give her your dog  8)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 03/04/12 at 4:22 am

Q - I'm sure she didn't mean it to be insulting (although it was.)  I probably would have been all annoyed with them for the rest of the evening, myself.  Sorry people are generally clueless.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Don Carlos on 03/04/12 at 10:42 am


Q - I'm sure she didn't mean it to be insulting (although it was.)  I probably would have been all annoyed with them for the rest of the evening, myself.  Sorry people are generally clueless.


Its impossible to know without the context, but she could have meant Hugh as in terrific

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 03/04/12 at 11:01 am


Its impossible to know without the context, but she could have meant Hugh as in terrific


Well, I'm just thinking along the lines, that ok, commenting that a shirt that is size 3X or 4X (since sizing between designers/manufacturers are rarely standardized, even when found in the same country) is more large then a petite/small shirt would be correct, but the terminology used and the emotion behind the statement is very offensive.  I may look at someone that is smaller then me and think that they are tiny *(which would/could be offensive to them),  but I wouldn't make note of it out loud.  Sometimes when I fold my own clothes out of the dryer, I, too, think... wow, that shirt is huge!  But when I put it on, it just doesn't seem quite as large.  It's weird how perspectives change in situations.   

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/05/12 at 10:15 am


I hope you told her to eff herself.  >:(


Yes yes. I said "eff you Michelle!!!!eff you!!! Can I still stay in your house for two weeks? "

Naw I let it go just thought I'd mention it cuz ya know....  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/05/12 at 10:16 am


I would her told her that you did it on purpose, cause they will fit more autographs, or longer messages.  BITE ME CHICCY - Tell her off!


;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/05/12 at 10:19 am


Q - I'm sure she didn't mean it to be insulting (although it was.)  I probably would have been all annoyed with them for the rest of the evening, myself.  Sorry people are generally clueless.


She meant it...she just didn't mean it like that. I guess I could take it as a compliment and see it as she thought it was too big for me.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/05/12 at 12:15 pm


She meant it...she just didn't mean it like that. I guess I could take it as a compliment and see it as she thought it was too big for me.


just take it with a grain of salt don't let it bother you so much.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/05/12 at 12:51 pm


Yes yes. I said "eff you Michelle!!!!eff you!!! Can I still stay in your house for two weeks? "

Naw I let it go just thought I'd mention it cuz ya know....  :-\\


Well, I will go tell her on Facebook...

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/05/12 at 2:05 pm


Well, I will go tell her on Facebook...


Love th you have my back ash!
It's all good tho

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/05/12 at 3:59 pm


Love th you have my back ash!
It's all good tho


Well, it's not like I'm going to write "Go Eff Yourself!" on her wall.  ;D 

And honestly, knowing it was her, does make me agree with Patty's statement that maybe she saw the shirt and thought it would be too big for you, because Michelle doesn't strike me as a mean girl.  You know?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobo on 03/05/12 at 4:00 pm

I hope you don't think I am a mean girl! :D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/05/12 at 4:03 pm


Well, it's not like I'm going to write "Go Eff Yourself!" on her wall.  ;D 

And honestly, knowing it was her, does make me agree with Patty's statement that maybe she saw the shirt and thought it would be too big for you, because Michelle doesn't strike me as a mean girl.  You know?


Yeah I really don't think she meant it tgat way just that she wasn't thinking about the words as she spoke them.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 03/05/12 at 4:25 pm


Well, it's not like I'm going to write "Go Eff Yourself!" on her wall.  ;D 

And honestly, knowing it was her, does make me agree with Patty's statement that maybe she saw the shirt and thought it would be too big for you, because Michelle doesn't strike me as a mean girl.  You know?
Thanks now I have the song "mean girls" in my head  :P

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Below Average Dave on 03/08/12 at 4:54 am

I'm not sure why I'm just seeing this. . .but my mother was obese when I was a child, her parents were both obese, and 3 of their collective 4 parents were obese.  As a result, my mom was prone to obesity as were 2 of her 3 siblings.  She didn't eat that heavily, and did work out so she never was as big as her parents or the two other obese siblings, but I ended up dumping friends over such comments.  I take more of my fathers side as far as appearance, I have my mom's eyes, attitude, hair, and smile, but my fathers build and features.  His family was naturally skinny, I'm somewhere between the two so I go up and down but am usually pretty average.  Its not okay, and its not funny, my mom knew and did her best to ignore when I had a friend over who would make elephant sounds or imitate her walk.  Or when she did the Walk/Run with my school to raise money for different causes and kids behind her would snicker the whole time.  She was strong, but it still hurt.  People have no class when it comes to stuff like that.  I do have fat and proud parodies, cause I feel I can relate as I have been both sides of the scale, and I hope none of those parodies ever personally offend you, but things like what happened at the amusement park are just unbelievable.  I love amusement parks, and can't imagine having to give that up out of fear of such humiliation, but can certainly understand it.  I am personally sorry for the pigs who would do such a thing, and the ones at a convenience store were absolutely no better-in fact they were worse because they went out of their way to do it. 

Remember one thing snoz--any jack@$$ who would treat another human being like that has skeletons of their own that they are able to hide, they can't help that they are ignorant because they are too busy having to make themselves feel better by peeing on those they see as less worthy.  No different from a crack dealer saying "at least I don't drive drunk".  So many people feel the need to prove they are better than someone else as a person by finding some fault with someone else.  Unfortunately fat is an easy one that is rarely stood up for, I wish I had been there because I'm never really afraid to speak my mind. . .and something like that is just tacky at best.  If you are ever in Virginia, and you want to go to Busch Gardens, let me know, I'll go with and if someone has something to say--I'll be happy to have your back. . .

Hugs

PS Good luck on the weight loss--seriously, its not easy but you deserve to feel as beautiful outside as you clearly are on the inside.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/08/12 at 10:04 am

^that was beautiful thx!!! And the offer for Busch Gardens is on! I haven't been there since I was 11. Funny thing. I went with 2 cousins who were older & larger (when I was still super skinny) and I sat between them. We hit one drop and I almost flew out because the bar didn't come low enough to secure me in. God I miss those days  ;D

Love the way you stood up for your mom. She sounds like an amazing woman.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Below Average Dave on 03/08/12 at 11:18 am

You are welcome. . .we can definitely change that, let me know when--I sent you a PM about it.  I love my mom with all my heart--always will :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: wildcard on 03/08/12 at 11:37 am

I haven't said anything here because  none of my family is fat, but if I were in a situation where someone was making fun of someone like that, You know I'd speak up.

For some reason right now I'm ready to sing Weird Al's Fat parody

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/08/12 at 1:34 pm

My Father is obese, My Mother is trying to lose weight but I'm ok as far as my weight is concerned I'm not fat like my Father and I'm far from it, My father just doesn't have the motivation like he used to.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/14/12 at 5:41 pm

Soooooooo.....

We're at the Bones panel and David Boreanaz decides to tempt us with donuts...they looked good too.
But to get a donut you had to ask a question. This dude Marco, who's asked the same effing question every night, stands up to ask his question.  David starts laughing and says 'dude, you just wanted the donut' I hate Marco but ya know- it was still wrong.


Pic of Marco taken from another night:

http://i.imgur.com/sS7sA.jpg

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 03/14/12 at 6:32 pm

Wow, rude

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/14/12 at 7:49 pm

That's all you had to do ask a question and you get a donut? That doesn't make sense.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 03/14/12 at 8:02 pm


That's all you had to do ask a question and you get a donut? That doesn't make sense.


What if the question is may I have a donut?
???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/14/12 at 8:04 pm


What if the question is may I have a donut?
???


that seems more polite.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 03/14/12 at 9:15 pm


Soooooooo.....

We're at the Bones panel and David Boreanaz decides to tempt us with donuts...they looked good too.
But to get a donut you had to ask a question. This dude Marco, who's asked the same effing question every night, stands up to ask his question.  David starts laughing and says 'dude, you just wanted the donut' I hate Marco but ya know- it was still wrong.


Pic of Marco taken from another night:

http://i.imgur.com/sS7sA.jpg
ouch....

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: lorac61469 on 03/15/12 at 2:36 pm

Not very nice of Booth.  :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/15/12 at 4:51 pm


Not very nice of Booth.  :(


David seems a little douchey to me.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 03/15/12 at 9:41 pm


David seems a little douchey to me.


Thank you.  I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks he was, is, and always will be a giant douchecanoe.

Didn't he cheat on his wife or something?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: lorac61469 on 03/15/12 at 11:00 pm


David seems a little douchey to me.


Yes, I agree but I do like his character on Bones.


Thank you.  I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks he was, is, and always will be a giant douchecanoe.

Didn't he cheat on his wife or something?



Yeah, with the same skank that slept with Tiger Woods, Rachael Uchitel.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/16/12 at 2:10 am


David seems a little douchey to me.


He drinks a lot.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Lindee on 03/17/12 at 1:28 pm

This morning I saw a mother and her kids in the dollar store. Her daughter who was a little heavy asked if she could have some peeps. The mother said loud (enough so everybody could hear)" No because you're fat". :o  That was just tacky and uncalled for. I would have NEVER said anything in public like that to my DD when she was young. Then I had to remind myself we were at the dollar store where you see and a lot of tacky, trashy people.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/17/12 at 6:36 pm


This morning I saw a mother and her kids in the dollar store. Her daughter who was a little heavy asked if she could have some peeps. The mother said loud (enough so everybody could hear)" No because you're fat". :o  That was just tacky and uncalled for. I would have NEVER said anything in public like that to my DD when she was young. Then I had to remind myself we were at the dollar store where you see and a lot of tacky, trashy people.


Yeah that sux! I probably wouldve told the kid I think she's beautiful just to shut the mom up.
Ive given rotten kids the stink eye in front of the parents so I think I'm capable of the other too lol

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/17/12 at 7:55 pm


This morning I saw a mother and her kids in the dollar store. Her daughter who was a little heavy asked if she could have some peeps. The mother said loud (enough so everybody could hear)" No because you're fat". :o  That was just tacky and uncalled for. I would have NEVER said anything in public like that to my DD when she was young. Then I had to remind myself we were at the dollar store where you see and a lot of tacky, trashy people.


That was uncalled for and to have her scream at her daughter calling her fat was uncalled for too!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 03/18/12 at 10:45 pm

Something I try to fight and something that just happened last night, I attempt self-deprecating humor as if that will stop anyone from making fun of me.  My cousin tried to get me to dance at the reception, but I said something to the effect that once this fat that I have starts jiggling  (it doesn't stop).  :-[  It's not even that I thought my cousin would make fun of me.  I guess that I don't like the attention that my dancing my bring and the possibility of someone making fun of me.  It's totally stupid.  I do it unconciously too.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/19/12 at 12:09 am


Something I try to fight and something that just happened last night, I attempt self-deprecating humor as if that will stop anyone from making fun of me.  My cousin tried to get me to dance at the reception, but I said something to the effect that once this fat that I have starts jiggling  (it doesn't stop).  :-[  It's not even that I thought my cousin would make fun of me.  I guess that I don't like the attention that my dancing my bring and the possibility of someone making fun of me.  It's totally stupid.  I do it unconciously too.


It's a natural reaction patty. I do it all the time too. "my fat ass doesnt do this...." "no one wants to see my fat ass doing that....". I think we've just become conditioned to think that someone is thinking it anyway....not nessecarily that they'll say it- just the idea that they're thinking it. I think putting it out there is a way to deflect that thing tgat seems to be hanging out there.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/19/12 at 6:54 am


Something I try to fight and something that just happened last night, I attempt self-deprecating humor as if that will stop anyone from making fun of me.  My cousin tried to get me to dance at the reception, but I said something to the effect that once this fat that I have starts jiggling  (it doesn't stop).  :-[  It's not even that I thought my cousin would make fun of me.  I guess that I don't like the attention that my dancing my bring and the possibility of someone making fun of me.  It's totally stupid.  I do it unconciously too.


Don't let it get to you Patty.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 03/25/12 at 6:26 pm

I think a lot of why people make jokes about people's weight is because it is easy and there is less social fallout from cracking them. As Snoz alluded to it also depends on who you are with and how secure they are within their own bodies. I have a fat friend called Derek who takes the Michael out of himself but we all know our boundaries and it's all good.

Strangely, when I was at my heaviest at 17 stone I never recieved any weight abuse which surprises me looking back. The only person that was hurt by my weight was me.

These people that insult you Snoz are idiots. They are laughing at you because they are. Nothing more and nothing less. They probably won't even remember what they have done ten minutes later. However, I probably will say something a little controversial (and I have got into trouble for saying this before) but I do have problems with people who don't attempt to work on themselves. It doesn't matter if they lose weight or not, just trying to do something makes me have so much respect for the person. This is mainly for health reasons not cosmetic reasons. My example is my forementioned friend called Derek. He has got considerably bigger since I have known him. Like the trap I got ensnared with, a sit-down job, bad eating habits and poor routine have taken it's toll on him.

This is where I get worried. He already has diabetes and his doctor has given him 10 years to live if he continues in the lifestyle he has become accustomed. See, you can't help your race, your age or your gender but, even though it is very difficult, weight doesn't have to be something that can't be changed...even if it is for health's sake.

I hope I have said in this in a proper manner. I mean well but I haven't had sensitivity training. :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 03/25/12 at 6:30 pm


I think a lot of why people make jokes about people's weight is because it is easy and there is less social fallout from cracking them. As Snoz alluded to it also depends on who you are with and how secure they are within their own bodies. I have a fat friend called Derek who takes the Michael out of himself but we all know our boundaries and it's all good.

Strangely, when I was at my heaviest at 17 stone I never recieved any weight abuse which surprises me looking back. The only person that was hurt by my weight was me.

These people that insult you Snoz are idiots. They are laughing at you because they are. Nothing more and nothing less. They probably won't even remember what they have done ten minutes later. However, I probably will say something a little controversial (and I have got into trouble for saying this before) but I do have problems with people who don't attempt to work on themselves. It doesn't matter if they lose weight or not, just trying to do something makes me have so much respect for the person. This is mainly for health reasons not cosmetic reasons. My example is my forementioned friend called Derek. He has got considerably bigger since I have known him. Like the trap I got ensnared with, a sit-down job, bad eating habits and poor routine have taken it's toll on him.

This is where I get worried. He already has diabetes and his doctor has given him 10 years to live if he continues in the lifestyle he has become accustomed. See, you can't help your race, your age or your gender but, even though it is very difficult, weight doesn't have to be something that can't be changed...even if it is for health's sake.

I hope I have said in this in a proper manner. I mean well but I haven't had sensitivity training. :)


You are right about people who don't try.  The only problem is not all people are big because of lifestyle choices.  Some of them have thyroid problems and have a super difficult time losing the weight. 

The random people who slam on bigger people they don't know need to think before they talk.  You don't know what that person is going through or what their situation is.  I know too many people that see a bigger person as nothing more than a disgusting slob...they don't take the time to see anything else.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 03/25/12 at 6:38 pm


You are right about people who don't try.  The only problem is not all people are big because of lifestyle choices.  Some of them have thyroid problems and have a super difficult time losing the weight. 


This is why I tried to choose my words carefully while staying true to my own view at the same time. My mom has thyroid, adrenaline gland issues coupled with depression and has battled weight gain for most of my life. However, she is trying hard to lose weight and that's all that matters, for her own sake. :)

The random people who slam on bigger people they don't know need to think before they talk.  You don't know what that person is going through or what their situation is.  I know too many people that see a bigger person as nothing more than a disgusting slob...they don't take the time to see anything else.

Well...That is a deficiency in them as human beings. Sadly, some people are only affected by appearances. You know, I had more trouble from people because of my crooked teeth than my obese weight? It's a bizarre world we live in. To update: My teeth have since been straightened with a brace. :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 03/25/12 at 6:57 pm

I think it is all just a matter of people trying to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 03/25/12 at 7:06 pm


I think it is all just a matter of people trying to make themselves feel better by putting others down.


There is a strong possibility of that too. The sad thing about the world we live in is that the media dictates to us human beings what is beautiful and what isn't. This clouds people's judgement and could make some insecure about themselves and mentally attack others, it could also make people scorn others purely because they don't meet the 'standards' of the media and some people, honest to God, scorn people because they think it is socially acceptable to do this and nothing more.

I have asked people plenty of times why they have insulted others and quite often I have heard the phrase; "I don't know. It's just a laugh, innit?"

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/25/12 at 7:10 pm



I think you misunderstood me just a bit Bobby... when my friends do it it still hurts...like Patty I tend to make the joke first just so I don't have to hear my friends say it... but I tolerate it more from my friends than I will from anyone else (or at least I don't let them know it bugs me)  and it doesn't always bug me right away...it's a thing that builds up so that by the time it does bug me it's usually too late to make it better...


I'm with Dag-- unless you know the person really well you don't know what they are doing to better their situation... I've been trying really hard to eat well and lose weight but I can't always make the right decision. It's not as simple as mind over matter or getting exercise...sure those things help but still sometimes the hardest thing to do is make the healthiest choice for my myself...

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 03/25/12 at 7:45 pm


I think you misunderstood me just a bit Bobby... when my friends do it it still hurts...like Patty I tend to make the joke first just so I don't have to hear my friends say it... but I tolerate it more from my friends than I will from anyone else (or at least I don't let them know it bugs me)  and it doesn't always bug me right away...it's a thing that builds up so that by the time it does bug me it's usually too late to make it better...


Ah I see, the preemptive strike. I do that too but not with my weight but with my forgetfullness. I have an intellectual ego the size of who knows what but I am also very scatty so if I say something daft or forget something I laugh about it instead of getting a sulk on. If I laugh about it no one else gets a choice, lol.

I'm with Dag-- unless you know the person really well you don't know what they are doing to better their situation... I've been trying really hard to eat well and lose weight but I can't always make the right decision. It's not as simple as mind over matter or getting exercise...sure those things help but still sometimes the hardest thing to do is make the healthiest choice for my myself...

I do agree with you. I don't think I meant that I condone insulting people even in humour I am hoping that I meant that, at least it is accepted to some degree or other by consenting parties. Derek laughs at his own weight, I don't because I know how much of a risk he is putting on himself.

On a positive note, it's not about getting it right. No one can do that 100% of the time and that is a difficult expectation to put on a person. It's about wanting to get it right and you have that mentality which is all good.

What winds me up are the people who deliberately gain the pounds so they can be the optimum weight for getting fitted with a gastric band. While some people do genuinely need this procedure, some are believing this is merely a shortcut to a thinner them.  :-\\

There are some people who gain weight purely because they want to be the fattest person in the world. This is all well and good but the taxpayers have to take care of their 'goals' with around the clock care and specialised equipment.

As said previously, being technically obese at one point before, I truly understand how horrible it is to be overweight. There is no justification for teasing and taunting people who are big. At the same time, there comes a time in that person's life that they do or...in some tragic cases, die. We all know the health risks associated with being big and this is what ought to be kept in focus. However, a person should be allowed to make choices for themselves free of other people's judgements and insults.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 03/25/12 at 7:46 pm

A weird thing I noticed, even amongst people that are trying to lose weight, there is derision.  Like I'd done some research into gastric band and gastric bypass operations (my doctor says they are the same thing, but I don't think they are.  :-\\ ???)  Maybe he doesn't know either...  Anyways, some groups of people say that those operations are cheating (at losing weight) which I think is an idiotic way of thinking.  You still have to watch what you eat and exercise AND often you have serious health problems after said surgeries for years.  Although if you have alot of weight to lose (and who is to say what is right for you to weigh??) I think that is a very viable alternative/resource/tool to help you get to your goal. 

I don't know that it's necessarily popular nowadays, but back in the '70s and early '80s (at least in the rural areas of the country) there used to be a t-shirt design (not too popular, but I saw them) saying "No fat chicks" inside a red circle with a slash through the circle.
It's quite offensive, but on the other hand, it was informative, because I knew exactly which asses to avoid going around. (Where sometimes you just don't know until it's too late and they start making fun of you or making stupid jokes (once, the first time that I met my first husband's friends (we were still dating at the time, although ironically we had broken up just a hour before I met his friend) (I was giving my former  boyfriend a ride to his friend's house since he didn't have a car.)  Anyways, to make a long story short (too late), the very first (and last time) that I met his friend, he made a gesture towards me as if I was a cow with udders, mooing at me too.  Charming, rich, and an ambassadore's son (although to me he was just an ass rather then the son of an ambassadore.)  >:(

Sorry for rambling, the story just popped into my head and as I type it, the madder I get.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 03/25/12 at 7:58 pm


A weird thing I noticed, even amongst people that are trying to lose weight, there is derision.  Like I'd done some research into gastric band and gastric bypass operations (my doctor says they are the same thing, but I don't think they are.  :-\\ ???)  Maybe he doesn't know either...  Anyways, some groups of people say that those operations are cheating (at losing weight) which I think is an idiotic way of thinking.  You still have to watch what you eat and exercise AND often you have serious health problems after said surgeries for years.  Although if you have alot of weight to lose (and who is to say what is right for you to weigh??) I think that is a very viable alternative/resource/tool to help you get to your goal. 


That is right. It is not what a person does to themselves that irks me it is the mental process behind it.

I don't know that it's necessarily popular nowadays, but back in the '70s and early '80s (at least in the rural areas of the country) there used to be a t-shirt design (not too popular, but I saw them) saying "No fat chicks" inside a red circle with a slash through the circle.
It's quite offensive, but on the other hand, it was informative, because I knew exactly which asses to avoid going around. (Where sometimes you just don't know until it's too late and they start making fun of you or making stupid jokes (once, the first time that I met my first husband's friends (we were still dating at the time, although ironically we had broken up just a hour before I met his friend) (I was giving my former  boyfriend a ride to his friend's house since he didn't have a car.)  Anyways, to make a long story short (too late), the very first (and last time) that I met his friend, he made a gesture towards me as if I was a cow with udders, mooing at me too.  Charming, rich, and an ambassadore's son (although to me he was just an ass rather then the son of an ambassadore.)  >:(


I vaguely remember those t-shirts though I don't think they made that much of an impression on me. It doesn't matter what position a person is in financially, an arsehole with money is just a rich arsehole, lol.

Sorry for rambling, the story just popped into my head and as I type it, the madder I get.

No apology needed.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/25/12 at 10:02 pm

Oh I know you weren't condoning it bobby....you're one of the good ones.  ;)
I was just thinking about how many fat jokes I hear in a day, in tv shows etc....and thinking about what you said about having little tolerance for those who don't help themselves. Just a thought that just because you perceive them not working on the problem doesn't mean they aren't trying.


Patty that dude is an ass to the nth degree.




Personally I'm not a fan of the surgery because I've seen what it does to people afterwards.  A few I know got sick regularly after every meal even tho they were eating less than the portion size considered normal. Others got the surgery but didn'twork on their food addiction and gained most back.


If you get it I hope it does work for you I just know its not right for me.  But I would never call it cheating. Weight loss is weight loss if it works for a person than its a successful way to do it.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/25/12 at 10:05 pm

Oh.....and I thought the bypass was the surgery that cuts your stomach to a quarter of its size and the lap band was the belt for your stomach. I never looked into it so I could be wrong.....but I'm thinking maybe you're dr might not be the one to consult if he doesn't know the difference  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 03/26/12 at 7:32 am


You are right about people who don't try.  The only problem is not all people are big because of lifestyle choices.  Some of them have thyroid problems and have a super difficult time losing the weight. 

The random people who slam on bigger people they don't know need to think before they talk.  You don't know what that person is going through or what their situation is.  I know too many people that see a bigger person as nothing more than a disgusting slob...they don't take the time to see anything else.


Like My Father, he is overweight but yet he does nothing for excersize,He has had a lack of motivation and plus his arthritis and some tendonitis bothers him a little.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 03/26/12 at 4:10 pm


A weird thing I noticed, even amongst people that are trying to lose weight, there is derision.  Like I'd done some research into gastric band and gastric bypass operations (my doctor says they are the same thing, but I don't think they are.  :-\\ ???)  Maybe he doesn't know either...  Anyways, some groups of people say that those operations are cheating (at losing weight) which I think is an idiotic way of thinking.  You still have to watch what you eat and exercise AND often you have serious health problems after said surgeries for years.  Although if you have alot of weight to lose (and who is to say what is right for you to weigh??) I think that is a very viable alternative/resource/tool to help you get to your goal. 


Gastric bypass and a gastric band are two different things.  There are also different types of gastric bypass surgeries, some more invasive than others.  Your doctor is dumb.

I have a Lap Band (same thing as gastric band).  It is a tool.  It is not cheating.  You are basically doing the same things you would when you try to lose weight without it (changing your diet, exercising more).  The only difference is that the band will restrict how much you eat.  Believe me, I know when I overeat.  It is a horrible feeling.  You also have to take your time eating, or it will get stuck in your esophageal area and make you feel pukey.

Lap Band is less invasive than gastric bypass, and seems to have less issues than the bypass.  That's not to say that you won't have issues, but they shouldn't be as bad.  There are times when my Lap Band port will ache, or my shoulder has phantom pains from when they injected my body cavity with air so they could see where to place the band.

So yes, it does irk me when people say weight loss surgery is cheating.  It is merely another tool, like Weight Watchers or a scale.  It just keeps you in check.

/end rambling.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 03/26/12 at 4:14 pm


Gastric bypass and a gastric band are two different things.  There are also different types of gastric bypass surgeries, some more invasive than others.  Your doctor is dumb.

I have a Lap Band (same thing as gastric band).  It is a tool.  It is not cheating.  You are basically doing the same things you would when you try to lose weight without it (changing your diet, exercising more).  The only difference is that the band will restrict how much you eat.  Believe me, I know when I overeat.  It is a horrible feeling.  You also have to take your time eating, or it will get stuck in your esophageal area and make you feel pukey.

Lap Band is less invasive than gastric bypass, and seems to have less issues than the bypass.  That's not to say that you won't have issues, but they shouldn't be as bad.  There are times when my Lap Band port will ache, or my shoulder has phantom pains from when they injected my body cavity with air so they could see where to place the band.

So yes, it does irk me when people say weight loss surgery is cheating.  It is merely another tool, like Weight Watchers or a scale.  It just keeps you in check.

/end rambling.



Just curious, how much have you lost with the lap band?



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 03/26/12 at 4:29 pm


Gastric bypass and a gastric band are two different things.  There are also different types of gastric bypass surgeries, some more invasive than others. Your doctor is dumb.




;D    That's what I like about you Jess....you always tell it like it is! O)





I have a Lap Band (same thing as gastric band).  It is a tool.  It is not cheating.  You are basically doing the same things you would when you try to lose weight without it (changing your diet, exercising more).  The only difference is that the band will restrict how much you eat.  Believe me, I know when I overeat.  It is a horrible feeling.  You also have to take your time eating, or it will get stuck in your esophageal area and make you feel pukey.





that's what happened to my friend's parents..... I used to eat with them all of the time and neither of them were good about their food intake and ultimately both of them would spend the rest of the evening puking in the respective bathrooms...you'd think they'd learn but it was always the same thing everytime they came to visit...




Lap Band is less invasive than gastric bypass, and seems to have less issues than the bypass.  That's not to say that you won't have issues, but they shouldn't be as bad.  There are times when my Lap Band port will ache, or my shoulder has phantom pains from when they injected my body cavity with air so they could see where to place the band.

So yes, it does irk me when people say weight loss surgery is cheating.  It is merely another tool, like Weight Watchers or a scale.  It just keeps you in check.

/end rambling.



well ranted....

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 03/27/12 at 1:30 pm

All right, here's a story about a mom who wants taxpayers to fund her weight loss surgery because she is unable to work due to her weight. 

http://now.msn.com/living/0327-fat-mom-surgery.aspx

What I found especially interesting were the comments at the end of the piece.  Some people were utterly brutal - which completely goes along with the theme of this thread.  Now, I don't think weight loss surgery should be paid for out of taxpayer money, but that being said, there is no reason to say the things people are saying about her. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 03/27/12 at 8:37 pm


Gastric bypass and a gastric band are two different things.  There are also different types of gastric bypass surgeries, some more invasive than others.  Your doctor is dumb.

I have a Lap Band (same thing as gastric band).  It is a tool.  It is not cheating.  You are basically doing the same things you would when you try to lose weight without it (changing your diet, exercising more).  The only difference is that the band will restrict how much you eat.  Believe me, I know when I overeat.  It is a horrible feeling.  You also have to take your time eating, or it will get stuck in your esophageal area and make you feel pukey.

Lap Band is less invasive than gastric bypass, and seems to have less issues than the bypass.  That's not to say that you won't have issues, but they shouldn't be as bad.  There are times when my Lap Band port will ache, or my shoulder has phantom pains from when they injected my body cavity with air so they could see where to place the band.

So yes, it does irk me when people say weight loss surgery is cheating.  It is merely another tool, like Weight Watchers or a scale.  It just keeps you in check.

/end rambling.


Thank you for the explanation, I was fairly certain that they were different things and told that to my dcctor since he'd been pushing for the surgery.  I actually don't think my doctor cares one way or the other, he is just friends with a plastic surgeon and the send each other patients (which is how I ended up having the last surgery that didn't do what they were telling me it would do.)  So, I'm kinda skeptical.  I think I need to find a new doctor as well, as yes, I agree, my doctor is dumb (and overcharges.)  ;D ::)

I think I need to get my head straight before I even begin down the road of the operation.  I have a big problem with gourging myself with no exercise and those two are both something I need to work on.  The operation would be a waste for me if I can't get those under control first.  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 03/28/12 at 3:51 pm



;D    That's what I like about you Jess....you always tell it like it is! O)



You know me. ;D



Just curious, how much have you lost with the lap band?



Cat


About 100 pounds, but I still have issues with food and exercise, so I could have lost so much more. :-\\

However, I'm not sneezing at 100 pounds, and I'm working through all my BS.  This is why I said that any type of surgery is not a fix, it's a tool, and it's up to you on how you use it. :)


Thank you for the explanation, I was fairly certain that they were different things and told that to my dcctor since he'd been pushing for the surgery.  I actually don't think my doctor cares one way or the other, he is just friends with a plastic surgeon and the send each other patients (which is how I ended up having the last surgery that didn't do what they were telling me it would do.)  So, I'm kinda skeptical.  I think I need to find a new doctor as well, as yes, I agree, my doctor is dumb (and overcharges.)  ;D ::)

I think I need to get my head straight before I even begin down the road of the operation.  I have a big problem with gourging myself with no exercise and those two are both something I need to work on.  The operation would be a waste for me if I can't get those under control first.  :-\\


Welcome!

See above about my issues with food and exercise.  I guess it never really goes away, and it is a bitch to battle, especially on your own.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 03/28/12 at 4:17 pm


You know me. ;D

About 100 pounds, but I still have issues with food and exercise, so I could have lost so much more. :-\\

However, I'm not sneezing at 100 pounds, and I'm working through all my BS.  This is why I said that any type of surgery is not a fix, it's a tool, and it's up to you on how you use it. :)

Welcome!

See above about my issues with food and exercise.  I guess it never really goes away, and it is a bitch to battle, especially on your own.


You are right that 100 lbs is nothing to sneeze at. WTG!!!!



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 04/23/12 at 6:58 pm

I know exactly how you all feel. I have struggled with my weight since I was young. I've been through all of the insecurities, the teasing, the embarrassments, etc. I have tried so many times to lose the weight, but it just won't budge.  I suffer from a condition called PCOS (polysystic ovarian syndrome), and it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to lose any substantial amount of weight. I had lost a lot when I was 19 years old, but I know that my hormones have changed so much over the years, and because of this condition, it becomes impossible. Because of my PCOS, I also have high blood pressure, diabetes, menstrual problems, and infertility. Infact, about a year and a half ago, I had a miscarriage. I recently attempted Weight Watchers. That's a great program, for someone WITHOUT PCOS. I remained on the program, was so strict with my foods, incorporated exercise a lot, I truly and honestly tried with all of me. Exactly one month after starting the program, I GAINED 3 lbs. It's SO ridiculous!

I recently went to my doctor and had her run some tests on me, to make sure my thyroid wasn't also causing problems, the test results came back normal. My doctor actually is referring me for bariatric surgery. She said she doesn't normally push for it, but in my case, she feels like it is the last resort in losing a substantial amount of weight. I have done so much research on woman who suffer from PCOS and decide to undergo bariatric surgery, and the results have been amazing and really positive. I am really nervous, but I feel like I have no other option, in gaining my health back, and feeling better about myself. I have scheduled an appointment for May 8th, for a general meeting at the bariatric center, so we will see how that goes.

My heart aches for anyone who has to live their life as an overweight person. I truly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. People who are thin have absolutely NO idea how much easier they have it. Just little things, like the fact that summer is coming up. I mean, you can hide behind hoodies and coats in the fall/winter, but then summer comes, and everyone is wearing much less clothing. Do you all know how hard it is to find cute summer clothing in plus sizes? I swear, the designers think that just because you are a bigger girl, you automatically love to dress in gaudy floral or striped/polka dot patterns, it's ridiculous! And God forbid you go to a restaurant that has a booth that doesn't move! I've been in those awkward situations before, where I was sucking it in just to enjoy my meal. It's not fun folks, it's a never ending struggle. :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 04/23/12 at 7:14 pm


I know exactly how you all feel. I have struggled with my weight since I was young. I've been through all of the insecurities, the teasing, the embarrassments, etc. I have tried so many times to lose the weight, but it just won't budge.  I suffer from a condition called PCOS (polysystic ovarian syndrome), and it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to lose any substantial amount of weight. I had lost a lot when I was 19 years old, but I know that my hormones have changed so much over the years, and because of this condition, it becomes impossible. Because of my PCOS, I also have high blood pressure, diabetes, menstrual problems, and infertility. Infact, about a year and a half ago, I had a miscarriage. I recently attempted Weight Watchers. That's a great program, for someone WITHOUT PCOS. I remained on the program, was so strict with my foods, incorporated exercise a lot, I truly and honestly tried with all of me. Exactly one month after starting the program, I GAINED 3 lbs. It's SO ridiculous!

I recently went to my doctor and had her run some tests on me, to make sure my thyroid wasn't also causing problems, the test results came back normal. My doctor actually is referring me for bariatric surgery. She said she doesn't normally push for it, but in my case, she feels like it is the last resort in losing a substantial amount of weight. I have done so much research on woman who suffer from PCOS and decide to undergo bariatric surgery, and the results have been amazing and really positive. I am really nervous, but I feel like I have no other option, in gaining my health back, and feeling better about myself. I have scheduled an appointment for May 8th, for a general meeting at the bariatric center, so we will see how that goes.

My heart aches for anyone who has to live their life as an overweight person. I truly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. People who are thin have absolutely NO idea how much easier they have it. Just little things, like the fact that summer is coming up. I mean, you can hide behind hoodies and coats in the fall/winter, but then summer comes, and everyone is wearing much less clothing. Do you all know how hard it is to find cute summer clothing in plus sizes? I swear, the designers think that just because you are a bigger girl, you automatically love to dress in gaudy floral or striped/polka dot patterns, it's ridiculous! And God forbid you go to a restaurant that has a booth that doesn't move! I've been in those awkward situations before, where I was sucking it in just to enjoy my meal. It's not fun folks, it's a never ending struggle. :-\\



Good luck with the surgery, my dear. :)  If you have any questions, let me know.

You know what pisses me off about plus size clothing?  The fact that they have skinny chicks modeling all of it.  Seriously?  How the hell is that going to help me with knowing how *I'D* look in it? :P

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 04/23/12 at 7:18 pm


I swear, the designers think that just because you are a bigger girl, you automatically love to dress in gaudy floral or striped/polka dot patterns, it's ridiculous!


Not only that, they seem to think all plus size women have short legs.  I have to buy tall pants or they are too short.  Whoever designs plus size clothing seems to think that if you are big around you must be short as well.  Sucks.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 04/23/12 at 7:18 pm


Good luck with the surgery, my dear. :)  If you have any questions, let me know.

You know what pisses me off about plus size clothing?  The fact that they have skinny chicks modeling all of it.  Seriously?  How the hell is that going to help me with knowing how *I'D* look in it? :P


Thank you Jess! I'm sure I will be bugging you with lots of questions!!
I know, right!! What is up with that? And even when they have a "plus sized" model, she is always really really small. That's ridiculous! I love Torrid clothing, but don't really have the money to buy a whole wardrobe from there, ya know? The same with Lane Bryant..their clothes are really pretty, but expensive!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 04/23/12 at 7:20 pm


Not only that, all plus size women have short legs.  I have to buy tall pants or they are too short.  Whoever designs plus size clothing seems to think that if you are big around you must be short as well.  Sucks.


I hear ya Dag, they just don't cater to us voluptuous gals!!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: danootaandme on 04/23/12 at 7:59 pm


Not only that, all plus size women have short legs.  I have to buy tall pants or they are too short.  Whoever designs plus size clothing seems to think that if you are big around you must be short as well.  Sucks.


Not all plus size women have short legs.  Some plus size women are plus size tall, at least you can by longer pants and hem them. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 04/23/12 at 8:01 pm

About models being thinner...  A preogram that I found about 10 years ago called  My Virtual Model, was really cool.  As I recall, you could either upload a facial picture, and put in your height, weight, chest and waist definition and it would create a computer model of you which you could then "dress" in clothes from various sites.  It was really neat and fun, although I don't know if it was that I liked it because I like "SIMS" video game or what.  Anyways, I hadn't used it for a long time and just now checked back and it's partnered with various sites, one being a seller of plus size clothes.  I can't get it to work with this laptop, but I've been having problems with alot of things not working on it.

Give it a try, as far as I can tell, it's still free to use.  But of course, they'd like you to buy clothes from them.  ;D

http://www.mvm.com/index.html

http://apps.facebook.com/virtualfittingroom/

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: danootaandme on 04/23/12 at 8:02 pm


All right, here's a story about a mom who wants taxpayers to fund her weight loss surgery because she is unable to work due to her weight. 

http://now.msn.com/living/0327-fat-mom-surgery.aspx

What I found especially interesting were the comments at the end of the piece.  Some people were utterly brutal - which completely goes along with the theme of this thread.  Now, I don't think weight loss surgery should be paid for out of taxpayer money, but that being said, there is no reason to say the things people are saying about her.


Why doesn't insurance pay for it.  She looks to be what is known as "morbidly" obese, meaning her life could be threatened by her weight. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 04/23/12 at 8:06 pm


About models being thinner...  A preogram that I found about 10 years ago called  My Virtual Model, was really cool.  As I recall, you could either upload a facial picture, and put in your height, weight, chest and waist definition and it would create a computer model of you which you could then "dress" in clothes from various sites.  It was really neat and fun, although I don't know if it was that I liked it because I like "SIMS" video game or what.  Anyways, I hadn't used it for a long time and just now checked back and it's partnered with various sites, one being a seller of plus size clothes.  I can't get it to work with this laptop, but I've been having problems with alot of things not working on it.

Give it a try, as far as I can tell, it's still free to use.  But of course, they'd like you to buy clothes from them.  ;D

http://www.mvm.com/index.html

http://apps.facebook.com/virtualfittingroom/


That's pretty neat, but my laptop won't let me access the virtual model page, it won't load for me.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 04/23/12 at 8:09 pm


That's pretty neat, but my laptop won't let me access the virtual model page, it won't load for me.


Yeah I was having the same problem.  I will give it a try with my desktop machine to see if maybe it's a laptop error thing.  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 04/23/12 at 8:33 pm


Not all plus size women have short legs.  Some plus size women are plus size tall, at least you can by longer pants and hem them. 


I didn't mean all plus size women have short legs...I meant they think all plus size women have short legs.  I left a couple of key words out. Woops. ;) I usually buy tall, but have a hard time finding them.  All I can find is plus size petite.  I will go fix that post before it confuses anyone else.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/23/12 at 9:31 pm


Thank you Jess! I'm sure I will be bugging you with lots of questions!!
I know, right!! What is up with that? And even when they have a "plus sized" model, she is always really really small. That's ridiculous! I love Torrid clothing, but don't really have the money to buy a whole wardrobe from there, ya know? The same with Lane Bryant..their clothes are really pretty, but expensive!


Right there with you - every word.  ESPECIALLY the skinny models.  That is maddening.  The clothes don't even look right on them.  It is the dumbest thing in the world!!!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 04/24/12 at 12:14 pm

I have problems finding clothes for short people. I think clothing manufacturers think everyone is 6 ft tall and flat chested. I wear a lot of sundresses. The ones that fit my chest (where most of my weight is) are either so long that I trip on it or too short for my taste.


Cat 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 04/25/12 at 5:20 pm

I'm going to post this here for several reasons.  The first reason is because it does pertain to health and weight and I know that the jerks and "fattie" haters will come out en masse to put these people down.  The second reason I'm posting this here is because a very lovely blogger that I follow (Audrey at Barking Mad) will be in it, and she has faced a TON of crap from people about her obesity.  You can see her for a split second in the preview (about the 19 second mark).

_wwwVOcOZOc

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/25/12 at 8:14 pm


I'm going to post this here for several reasons.  The first reason is because it does pertain to health and weight and I know that the jerks and "fattie" haters will come out en masse to put these people down.  The second reason I'm posting this here is because a very lovely blogger that I follow (Audrey at Barking Mad) will be in it, and she has faced a TON of crap from people about her obesity.  You can see her for a split second in the preview (about the 19 second mark).

_wwwVOcOZOc


That's looks really interesting.  I wish I had HBO!! 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 04/25/12 at 9:13 pm


That's looks really interesting.  I wish I had HBO!! 


Audrey said that after it airs, it will be put online.  That's great, because I don't have HBO, either. ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 04/25/12 at 9:45 pm

I have HBO....and a recordable DVD player if y'all don't find it online let me know.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/25/12 at 9:45 pm


Audrey said that after it airs, it will be put online.  That's great, because I don't have HBO, either. ;D


I bet it will come out on Netflicks too.


Not that I have Netflicks...but I hope to someday.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 04/26/12 at 7:20 am


I'm going to post this here for several reasons.  The first reason is because it does pertain to health and weight and I know that the jerks and "fattie" haters will come out en masse to put these people down.  The second reason I'm posting this here is because a very lovely blogger that I follow (Audrey at Barking Mad) will be in it, and she has faced a TON of crap from people about her obesity.  You can see her for a split second in the preview (about the 19 second mark).

_wwwVOcOZOc


Thanks Jessica obesity is a problem today, people aren't getting enough excersize.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 04/26/12 at 7:14 pm


Thanks Jessica obesity is a problem today, people aren't getting enough excersize.


http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a124/stacmck/Smileys/th_facepalm2.gif

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 04/26/12 at 7:35 pm


http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a124/stacmck/Smileys/th_facepalm2.gif


Yup.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 04/26/12 at 7:46 pm


http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a124/stacmck/Smileys/th_facepalm2.gif


What? Did I say something wrong?  ???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/26/12 at 10:03 pm


What? Did I say something wrong?  ???


I thought you sounded like a news anchor.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 04/27/12 at 6:48 am


I thought you sounded like a news anchor.  ;D


I just wanted to bring a point across.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: karen on 04/27/12 at 10:34 am


I just wanted to bring a point across.


Which pretty much missed the point of the thread

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 04/27/12 at 12:22 pm



Howard saying people who are overweight just need to exercise more is like saying someone with developmental disabilities just needs to study harder

It's just not that easy.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 04/27/12 at 12:56 pm



Howard saying people who are overweight just need to exercise more is like saying someone with developmental disabilities just needs to study harder

It's just not that easy.


And I took it as him saying that because people don't exercise enough, obesity has become a growing problem.  Which is true.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 04/27/12 at 6:39 pm


And I took it as him saying that because people don't exercise enough, obesity has become a growing problem.  Which is true.


Me too. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 04/27/12 at 7:54 pm



Howard saying people who are overweight just need to exercise more is like saying someone with developmental disabilities just needs to study harder

It's just not that easy.


I'm sorry I guess I have to read further. :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 04/27/12 at 8:28 pm


And I took it as him saying that because people don't exercise enough, obesity has become a growing problem.  Which is true.


Exercise, or lack of it, is not why I'm fat. There are much deeper reasons. Im excercising to jump start my weight loss but still need to work on the issues that made me fat in the first place.  Howard's comment made it seem like it was cut and dried and that's not the case for a lot of overweight people.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 05/01/12 at 7:01 pm


And I took it as him saying that because people don't exercise enough, obesity has become a growing problem.  Which is true.


I took it that way too though I can see potential misunderstanding.

Snoz, this is difficult because it's a touchy and personal subject to you but I hope you detach the comments people make here from yourself. Life is about exceptions as well as formulas. Not all fat people are lazy, bone-idle and looking for a quick shortcut to a thinner them but, on the same token, if a fat person was moaning to me about losing weight while scoffing a bag of doughnuts then I really hope for their own good they can handle what I would be about to say to them. It is cool and important that people sympathise and support overweight people who have major problems but also people should be allowed to call other's out if they are hypocrites - it's kind of a two way thing.  :)

And yes, at my fat peak of 17 stone (I was classed as obese by my doctor) I did no exercise at all and I would easily eat TWO bags of doughnuts at least 4 or 5 times a week and almost everything I ate at the work's canteen was battered or fried. I make no excuses for myself but people like me (who have no real health problems to speak of) do have a choice even if it's a choice we are not motivated to make.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobo on 05/01/12 at 7:43 pm


Exercise, or lack of it, is not why I'm fat.

Snoz is not fat!!! Love you!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/01/12 at 7:44 pm


Snoz is not fat!!! Love you!


I agree.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 05/02/12 at 11:48 am


My father is obese and with the weight he has comes arthritis and bursitis in his knees back and hands, I don't remember him being skinny, that could've been 30 years ago before he lacked excersize.


Howard, I think we've established the fact that your father is obese.

Wait...

Yup....


My Father has been obese for years and he knows it and My Mother knows it too but he laughs about it along with the toilet humor too. My Mother makes fun of him in a comedic way, just taking it with a grain a salt and not letting it bother him so much.



My Father who used to be skinny quite a long time ago is pretty obese now, it's getting to the point where he has no willpower and everytime we go shopping together he has to buy his usual cookies and ice cream duiring the summer when it's on sale plus you have the munchies which once in a while we buy so as you can see we love our munchies.



I know I mentioned this once before but my Father is obese and he knows it. My Mother And I we both make fun of him in a comedy way it's just the way he loves his cookies and ice cream most of the time. Having aches and pains makes it hard for him to lose weight. Being obese is like his shtick if you understand what I'm talking about.



My Father is obese, My Mother is trying to lose weight but I'm ok as far as my weight is concerned I'm not fat like my Father and I'm far from it, My father just doesn't have the motivation like he used to.



Like My Father, he is overweight but yet he does nothing for excersize,He has had a lack of motivation and plus his arthritis and some tendonitis bothers him a little.


Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/02/12 at 12:00 pm

All of Howard's comments on this thread have been kind and supportive.  So he repeats himself.  Big deal.  Get off his back, you guys.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/02/12 at 12:23 pm


All of Howard's comments on this thread have been kind and supportive.  So he repeats himself.  Big deal.  Get off his back, you guys.


Ash I think you missed some of the comments he deleted  but that's okay I know he types without thinking about what he's saying... the repetition does get old tho  plus that was funny!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/02/12 at 12:23 pm


Snoz is not fat!!! Love you!



I agree.  :)



thank you both....karma paid

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/02/12 at 12:25 pm


I took it that way too though I can see potential misunderstanding.

Snoz, this is difficult because it's a touchy and personal subject to you but I hope you detach the comments people make here from yourself. Life is about exceptions as well as formulas. Not all fat people are lazy, bone-idle and looking for a quick shortcut to a thinner them but, on the same token, if a fat person was moaning to me about losing weight while scoffing a bag of doughnuts then I really hope for their own good they can handle what I would be about to say to them. It is cool and important that people sympathise and support overweight people who have major problems but also people should be allowed to call other's out if they are hypocrites - it's kind of a two way thing.  :)

And yes, at my fat peak of 17 stone (I was classed as obese by my doctor) I did no exercise at all and I would easily eat TWO bags of doughnuts at least 4 or 5 times a week and almost everything I ate at the work's canteen was battered or fried. I make no excuses for myself but people like me (who have no real health problems to speak of) do have a choice even if it's a choice we are not motivated to make.



I hear ya Bobby.... I just dislike generalizations... the way it was said was as if it applied to all people.  Plus there's still a sting about some the past comments that have since been deleted from this thread. So I reacted with those still fresh on my mind.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Jessica on 05/02/12 at 12:28 pm


All of Howard's comments on this thread have been kind and supportive.  So he repeats himself.  Big deal.  Get off his back, you guys.




Uhm....okay.  Sorry for teasing him.

I guess I should have kept the smileys in my post.  I'll make sure not to make that mistake again.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 05/02/12 at 4:28 pm


I hear ya Bobby.... I just dislike generalizations... the way it was said was as if it applied to all people.  Plus there's still a sting about some the past comments that have since been deleted from this thread. So I reacted with those still fresh on my mind.


I understand. I can't say much about things that have been deleted.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/02/12 at 7:55 pm


Howard, I think we've established the fact that your father is obese.

Wait...

Yup....



Wow I'm so sorry if I repeated myself Jessica, I can't believe I did that.  :-\\ We can get back on topic now.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/02/12 at 7:57 pm


All of Howard's comments on this thread have been kind and supportive.  So he repeats himself.  Big deal.  Get off his back, you guys.


I'm sorry it's a compulsion of mine, I'm trying to learn to not repeat myself constantly.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 05/03/12 at 7:23 am


I'm sorry it's a compulsion of mine, I'm trying to learn to not repeat myself constantly.


It's cool, mate.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/03/12 at 7:45 am


It's cool, mate.  :)


Thanks Bob for understanding.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/03/12 at 10:08 am

Nobody likes to be made fun of.  And every one of us has been teased or taunted for something, and we all know how much it hurts.  I think some people around here get teased and taunted a little bit more than they should.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Don Carlos on 05/03/12 at 10:45 am


I'm sorry it's a compulsion of mine, I'm trying to learn to not repeat myself constantly.


Don't worry about it Howard, there are lots of worse things.  You're a nice guy and we love you for all your faults

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/03/12 at 1:56 pm


Don't worry about it Howard, there are lots of worse things.  You're a nice guy and we love you for all your faults


Thanks.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Foo Bar on 05/04/12 at 12:59 am


Nobody likes to be made fun of.  And every one of us has been teased or taunted for something, and we all know how much it hurts.  I think some people around here get teased and taunted a little bit more than they should.


In keeping with the past 24 hours of this thread, a moment of levity from what happens when you google the H2G2 concept of the Total Perspective Vortex with eating disorders:

http://i.imgur.com/uSPkE.jpg

Ha ha, only serious.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 05/06/12 at 12:14 am

Brothers, sisters, we don't need this fat-ist groove thang!

8)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: AL-B Mk. III on 05/06/12 at 12:27 am

I suffer from a bad case of dicky-doo disease.  :-[

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/06/12 at 1:17 am

Tonight at the movie theater, I was walking down the hall after my movie.  There was a small cluster of pre-teenage girls.  One facing me and her two friends with their backs towards me.  The one stared at me walking towards them and as I was passing by she leaned over and whispered something to her friends which made them turn around and stare at me.  I almost turned around and confronted them, but I really didn't know what to say and it wouldn't have made a difference anyway.  It's just f'in depressing.  I have just as much right to walk down the hallway as they do.  I'm not pushing or taking up the whole hallway. 

My step-daughter is coming for a visit in July, she is of average weight and is pretty but not model pretty.  She lives in California so I guess her sense of what is beautiful and acceptible in looks is scewed because she thinks she will not be able to find a boyfriend, she thinks she's so ugly.  She looks like everyone else in this region, she will fit in fine if she moves here on a semi-permanant basis.  I want to be encouraging to her.  To tell her that if she wants a boyfriend, she's gonna have to stop thinking she is so ugly and get confidant.  No one likes a gloomy individual.  I have no idea how to teach her this in the short amount of time I'll have with her.  My husband loves me just as I am (although he'd like me to be more healthy, just so we can have a long life together.)  Lord knows that I'm no super-model.  But I'm not horrible looking either (I don't think.)  And even I found somebody.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/06/12 at 7:30 am


I suffer from a bad case of dicky-doo disease.  :-[


what's that? ???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/06/12 at 10:25 am

A) those girls were straight up bitches  >:(

B) (skipping to the end) you're beautiful inside and out!  :-*

C) (back to the middle) what part of Cali does she live? la's standard of beauty is different from like.....every other city in the state  ;)  we come in all shapes and sizes in Cali (even la) (but maybe not Beverly Hills...unless you're the maid).  I guess the only thing to do is to have the honest convo and point out her positive qualities. Hopefully she'll hear you. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 05/06/12 at 12:10 pm

What Snoz said.  I have had people do it to me, too.  Not cool.  True beauty comes from the inside.  If they were pre-teens it comes with their age.  I know Sarah's school is full of kids that think you have to be "perfect" in order to be pretty. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/06/12 at 2:17 pm


A) those girls were straight up bitches  >:(

B) (skipping to the end) you're beautiful inside and out!  :-*

C) (back to the middle) what part of Cali does she live? la's standard of beauty is different from like.....every other city in the state  ;)  we come in all shapes and sizes in Cali (even la) (but maybe not Beverly Hills...unless you're the maid).  I guess the only thing to do is to have the honest convo and point out her positive qualities. Hopefully she'll hear you.


I agree with A, those girls were just stupid bitches, I mean what gives them the right to stare at her like that, I'd give them a piece of my mind. >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/06/12 at 3:44 pm


A) those girls were straight up bitches  >:(

I agree, I only hope they realize what they do as they mature.


B) (skipping to the end) you're beautiful inside and out!  :-*

Thank you, you are very sweet.  I appreciate it (and your friendship)  :-*  (I feel the same about you.)


C) (back to the middle) what part of Cali does she live? la's standard of beauty is different from like.....every other city in the state  ;)  we come in all shapes and sizes in Cali (even la) (but maybe not Beverly Hills...unless you're the maid).  I guess the only thing to do is to have the honest convo and point out her positive qualities. Hopefully she'll hear you.
  Well, she grew up mostly in the desert south of San Diego, but also some time in San Diego itself.  I figure because it's a beach town (San Diego) (I assume) that there are more then their fair share of beautiful people.  She lives in the desert south of SD now.  I guess you are right, just say what I have to say is all I can do.


What Snoz said.  I have had people do it to me, too.  Not cool.  True beauty comes from the inside.  If they were pre-teens it comes with their age.  I know Sarah's school is full of kids that think you have to be "perfect" in order to be pretty. 


I'm sure it was around when I was that age.  I just don't remember it.  I guess it's not just being fat either, they do it to anyone with a different look.  I worry about my neighbor's little girl.  When she was an infant, she was in a house fire, her father rescued her, but not before the baby was burned over her head, face and arms.  She's had several surgeries, but there is still noticable scars.  She is going to have a rough time of it, I'm afraid.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Bobby on 05/07/12 at 10:16 am


Tonight at the movie theater, I was walking down the hall after my movie.  There was a small cluster of pre-teenage girls.  One facing me and her two friends with their backs towards me.  The one stared at me walking towards them and as I was passing by she leaned over and whispered something to her friends which made them turn around and stare at me.  I almost turned around and confronted them, but I really didn't know what to say and it wouldn't have made a difference anyway.  It's just f'in depressing.  I have just as much right to walk down the hallway as they do.  I'm not pushing or taking up the whole hallway.


Normally I would say don't jump to conclusions, Patty, but it seems pretty obvious what they were doing. Pretty pathetic but it's all about dignity at the end of the day all that glitters isn't gold.

My step-daughter is coming for a visit in July, she is of average weight and is pretty but not model pretty.  She lives in California so I guess her sense of what is beautiful and acceptible in looks is scewed because she thinks she will not be able to find a boyfriend, she thinks she's so ugly.  She looks like everyone else in this region, she will fit in fine if she moves here on a semi-permanant basis.  I want to be encouraging to her.  To tell her that if she wants a boyfriend, she's gonna have to stop thinking she is so ugly and get confidant.  No one likes a gloomy individual.  I have no idea how to teach her this in the short amount of time I'll have with her.  My husband loves me just as I am (although he'd like me to be more healthy, just so we can have a long life together.)  Lord knows that I'm no super-model.  But I'm not horrible looking either (I don't think.)  And even I found somebody.

You may have to be patient with her and understand that only your step-daughter can convince herself she is the lovely person you think she is. Some ideas (especially about ourselves) are often entrenched and very difficult to get rid of. I have found it difficult to find a girlfriend because of complicated ideas I have about myself and others and will take more than a few hours to tangle those mental knots.

Your step-daughter may have had this perspective for years. What could be great is if you concentrate on building her confidence with the odd meaningful compliment here and there and maybe a make-over. I have heard women love a bit of pampering.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 05/07/12 at 10:51 pm


Tonight at the movie theater, I was walking down the hall after my movie.  There was a small cluster of pre-teenage girls.  One facing me and her two friends with their backs towards me.  The one stared at me walking towards them and as I was passing by she leaned over and whispered something to her friends which made them turn around and stare at me.  I almost turned around and confronted them, but I really didn't know what to say and it wouldn't have made a difference anyway.  It's just f'in depressing.  I have just as much right to walk down the hallway as they do.  I'm not pushing or taking up the whole hallway. 

My step-daughter is coming for a visit in July, she is of average weight and is pretty but not model pretty.  She lives in California so I guess her sense of what is beautiful and acceptible in looks is scewed because she thinks she will not be able to find a boyfriend, she thinks she's so ugly.  She looks like everyone else in this region, she will fit in fine if she moves here on a semi-permanant basis.  I want to be encouraging to her.  To tell her that if she wants a boyfriend, she's gonna have to stop thinking she is so ugly and get confidant.  No one likes a gloomy individual.  I have no idea how to teach her this in the short amount of time I'll have with her.  My husband loves me just as I am (although he'd like me to be more healthy, just so we can have a long life together.)  Lord knows that I'm no super-model.  But I'm not horrible looking either (I don't think.)  And even I found somebody.


I am sorry you had to witness that, Patty. No one deserves that kind of treatment. There is so much ignorance in this world. You are a very pretty lady, you have a wonderful heart, and a beautiful smile. :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/13/12 at 7:18 pm

Thank you Erin, you are very kind.  :-*

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 05/14/12 at 11:52 pm


Tonight at the movie theater, I was walking down the hall after my movie.  There was a small cluster of pre-teenage girls.  One facing me and her two friends with their backs towards me.  The one stared at me walking towards them and as I was passing by she leaned over and whispered something to her friends which made them turn around and stare at me.  I almost turned around and confronted them, but I really didn't know what to say and it wouldn't have made a difference anyway.  It's just f'in depressing.  I have just as much right to walk down the hallway as they do.  I'm not pushing or taking up the whole hallway. 

My step-daughter is coming for a visit in July, she is of average weight and is pretty but not model pretty.  She lives in California so I guess her sense of what is beautiful and acceptible in looks is scewed because she thinks she will not be able to find a boyfriend, she thinks she's so ugly.  She looks like everyone else in this region, she will fit in fine if she moves here on a semi-permanant basis.  I want to be encouraging to her.  To tell her that if she wants a boyfriend, she's gonna have to stop thinking she is so ugly and get confidant.  No one likes a gloomy individual.  I have no idea how to teach her this in the short amount of time I'll have with her.  My husband loves me just as I am (although he'd like me to be more healthy, just so we can have a long life together.)  Lord knows that I'm no super-model.  But I'm not horrible looking either (I don't think.)  And even I found somebody.


Kids age 12 to 15 are the worse! Everyone (including me) at that age was so snobbish, mean, arrogant, and a prick. I regret the things I did at that age, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let anyone talk to me that way either! It's almost normal for kids that age to be mean, it's because they grow like 6 inches in a few months and get taller, it's gonna make them cranky and difficult! LOL.

Sorry those girls were mean to you!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/15/12 at 12:28 pm

Patty, I am going to agree with everyone and say that you are a beautiful woman. 

As for your step daughter - I think every teenage girl feels ugly and terrible all the time.  I know I sure did.  I NEVER felt worthy of...well...anything.  The most important thing you can do is accept her exactly as she is, and cultivate that.  She will come around.  Teenagedom just sucks.  :( 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/16/12 at 3:27 am

I appreciate the love and kindness you've all been showing me.  :-*

It's a little hard for me to hear, because well, I'm realistic.  I know what I look like, I know I could look alot better (not to mention have more energy, feel better and just fit into society better) if I lost x amount of weight.  I even know how to do it.  I just cannot figure out what is getting in my way of doing it.  There is something inside of my psyche that constantly sabotages any effort or any desire to improve myself.  I guess maybe it's a fear of failure.  But by not doing anything, I've already failed.  :-\\  Weird stuff.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/16/12 at 10:25 am


I appreciate the love and kindness you've all been showing me.  :-*

It's a little hard for me to hear, because well, I'm realistic.  I know what I look like, I know I could look alot better (not to mention have more energy, feel better and just fit into society better) if I lost x amount of weight.  I even know how to do it.  I just cannot figure out what is getting in my way of doing it.  There is something inside of my psyche that constantly sabotages any effort or any desire to improve myself.  I guess maybe it's a fear of failure.  But by not doing anything, I've already failed.  :-\\  Weird stuff.


I know how you're feeling patty it's a challenge and we never see the good in ourselves that  others see in us....but know this  we say what we mean and mean what we say so embrace the love before I have to come to PA and kick your ass  ;) :-*

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/16/12 at 11:37 am


I appreciate the love and kindness you've all been showing me.  :-*

It's a little hard for me to hear, because well, I'm realistic.  I know what I look like, I know I could look alot better (not to mention have more energy, feel better and just fit into society better) if I lost x amount of weight.  I even know how to do it.  I just cannot figure out what is getting in my way of doing it.  There is something inside of my psyche that constantly sabotages any effort or any desire to improve myself.  I guess maybe it's a fear of failure.  But by not doing anything, I've already failed.  :-\\  Weird stuff.


I understand completely.  Though I stand by my statement that you are a beautiful woman.  That is being realistic and it's undeniable.

I will say, however, that I gained almost half of the weight back that I lost last year.  It's so hard to explain, but it's like there is this little voice in my head saying "I need something to eat, I need something to eat, I need something to eat."  Even if I've just eaten.  Even if I know I'm full.  I can't sit down and watch TV without something to eat.  And if I try to, I just can't get the voice out of my head.  I am probably not making much sense...but that is how my mind works.  I just wish I could find a way to shut that voice UP! 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/16/12 at 12:02 pm


I understand completely.  Though I stand by my statement that you are a beautiful woman.  That is being realistic and it's undeniable.

I will say, however, that I gained almost half of the weight back that I lost last year.  It's so hard to explain, but it's like there is this little voice in my head saying "I need something to eat, I need something to eat, I need something to eat."  Even if I've just eaten.  Even if I know I'm full.  I can't sit down and watch TV without something to eat.  And if I try to, I just can't get the voice out of my head.  I am probably not making much sense...but that is how my mind works.  I just wish I could find a way to shut that voice UP!



I know that voice all too well....

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/16/12 at 12:15 pm



I know that voice all too well....


For me personally, I think it's a comfort thing.  I was one of many latchkey kids growing up, and from the time I got home from school until my dad and sisters got home I was always nervous.  This was during the 80's when everyone was paranoid about kids getting kidnapped.  At school they instructed us to close all the blinds if we were home alone, and to keep the doors locked and not answer them for anyone, and also not to go outside at all.  And when you're 8 you take that stuff seriously.  I think I started eating as a way to comfort myself until I was "safe."  And I've used food in that way ever since.

I also eat when I'm bored.  I try really hard not to get bored...because I know I'll be in trouble!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/16/12 at 12:21 pm


For me personally, I think it's a comfort thing.  I was one of many latchkey kids growing up, and from the time I got home from school until my dad and sisters got home I was always nervous.  This was during the 80's when everyone was paranoid about kids getting kidnapped.  At school they instructed us to close all the blinds if we were home alone, and to keep the doors locked and not answer them for anyone, and also not to go outside at all.  And when you're 8 you take that stuff seriously.  I think I started eating as a way to comfort myself until I was "safe."  And I've used food in that way ever since.

I also eat when I'm bored.  I try really hard not to get bored...because I know I'll be in trouble!



I have this thing about "wasting" food.  I must eat all of it and I don't believe in left overs.  I also eat in twos....It's weird but if I have something to eat I always want two of them... two tv dinners, two chicken breasts, two sandwiches... I'm not sure where this OCD-like need came from but it's been with me for as long as I can remember... I'm working on reconditioning my thinking but once I get a craving for something in my head it won't go away. I've been craving sushi for 5 days now... I can't let it go... I'm trying to not give into the craving but, like the recent ham incident, I know I ultimately will... .


Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 05/16/12 at 5:27 pm



I have this thing about "wasting" food.  I must eat all of it and I don't believe in left overs.  I also eat in twos....It's weird but if I have something to eat I always want two of them... two tv dinners, two chicken breasts, two sandwiches... I'm not sure where this OCD-like need came from but it's been with me for as long as I can remember... I'm working on reconditioning my thinking but once I get a craving for something in my head it won't go away. I've been craving sushi for 5 days now... I can't let it go... I'm trying to not give into the craving but, like the recent ham incident, I know I ultimately will... .





2's? Would it work if you made each smaller so the two equaled one?  Or would your OCD catch on to that trick?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/16/12 at 5:33 pm


2's? Would it work if you made each smaller so the two equaled one?  Or would your OCD catch on to that trick?


My OCD totally catches that trick. Im getting better but sometimes I slip.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/16/12 at 5:34 pm


My OCD totally catches that trick. Im getting better but sometimes I slip.


It's so hard.  :\'(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/16/12 at 5:36 pm


I understand completely.  Though I stand by my statement that you are a beautiful woman.  That is being realistic and it's undeniable.

I will say, however, that I gained almost half of the weight back that I lost last year.  It's so hard to explain, but it's like there is this little voice in my head saying "I need something to eat, I need something to eat, I need something to eat."  Even if I've just eaten.  Even if I know I'm full.  I can't sit down and watch TV without something to eat.  And if I try to, I just can't get the voice out of my head.  I am probably not making much sense...but that is how my mind works.  I just wish I could find a way to shut that voice UP!


Oh my gosh, I'm the same way.  My hubby and I just went to eat (and I ate enough to be full.)  But 2 hours later, I'm sitting here thinking I want to eat something.  I know that I'm still full and my blood sugar is probably pretty high so I can't eat for health reasons.  There is that soundtrack in my head, on repeat, telling me to eat something.  It's ludicrous.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 05/16/12 at 6:24 pm


For me personally, I think it's a comfort thing.  I was one of many latchkey kids growing up, and from the time I got home from school until my dad and sisters got home I was always nervous.  This was during the 80's when everyone was paranoid about kids getting kidnapped.  At school they instructed us to close all the blinds if we were home alone, and to keep the doors locked and not answer them for anyone, and also not to go outside at all.  And when you're 8 you take that stuff seriously.  I think I started eating as a way to comfort myself until I was "safe."  And I've used food in that way ever since.

I also eat when I'm bored.  I try really hard not to get bored...because I know I'll be in trouble!




I have this thing about "wasting" food.  I must eat all of it and I don't believe in left overs.  I also eat in twos....It's weird but if I have something to eat I always want two of them... two tv dinners, two chicken breasts, two sandwiches... I'm not sure where this OCD-like need came from but it's been with me for as long as I can remember... I'm working on reconditioning my thinking but once I get a craving for something in my head it won't go away. I've been craving sushi for 5 days now... I can't let it go... I'm trying to not give into the craving but, like the recent ham incident, I know I ultimately will... .






With me, it is because I KNOW what it is like to be hungry-I mean REALLY hungry. So, when food is in front of me-I eat it. Even when I am full, I will still eat-because there was a time I didn't know when my next meal was going to be. I just haven't trained my personal chef to make LESS food so I will eat LESS!!  I am really terrible with all-you-can eat buffets because I can REALLY PACK IT IN! There was a time I didn't have to worry about how much I packed in but now I do.  :-\\



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/16/12 at 7:00 pm



With me, it is because I KNOW what it is like to be hungry-I mean REALLY hungry. So, when food is in front of me-I eat it. Even when I am full, I will still eat-because there was a time I didn't know when my next meal was going to be. I just haven't trained my personal chef to make LESS food so I will eat LESS!!  I am really terrible with all-you-can eat buffets because I can REALLY PACK IT IN! There was a time I didn't have to worry about how much I packed in but now I do.  :-\\



Cat



HOME BUFFET locks the doors when they see me in the parking lot!  :D


seriously tho. Yeah Patty that repeat shuffle of the voice is a killer... My interior dialogue is sort of like

I'm hungry
WTF you just ate like 30 mins ago
Don't care I'm still hungry
Shut up and watch tv...
Okay but I'm still hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

it never shuts up  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/16/12 at 7:39 pm

I also eat when I'm bored.  I try really hard not to get bored...because I know I'll be in trouble!

I also eat when I'm bored but I try not to overeat myself to death.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/16/12 at 10:05 pm

Ok, so I just have to say that I am so happy that you guys understand what I'm saying about "the voice."  Because I effing hate that bitch. 

I even have a song that I sing in my head.  I'm not kidding.  It goes:

I want something to eat
I want something to eat
I need something to eat
I need something to eat

and it's always on repeat.

I realize that without the tune, it isn't as great.  lol.  But next time I see you guys I will sing it to you.  ;) ;D :-*

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 05/16/12 at 10:52 pm



HOME BUFFET locks the doors when they see me in the parking lot!  :D


seriously tho. Yeah Patty that repeat shuffle of the voice is a killer... My interior dialogue is sort of like

I'm hungry
WTF you just ate like 30 mins ago
Don't care I'm still hungry
Shut up and watch tv...
Okay but I'm still hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

it never shuts up  :-\\


It's like having an inner voice that is age 3 years old.  Why? Why?  Why?  ;D

Couldn't my inner voice be wise and wonderful and encouraging and give me great advice and keep the 3 year old quiet watching cartoons?  But Noooooooo!.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/16/12 at 11:39 pm

My inner voice curses even more than my outer on :D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/17/12 at 7:21 am


My inner voice curses even more than my outer on :D


what's the difference between and inner and an outer voice? ???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/17/12 at 9:41 am


My inner voice curses even more than my outer on :D


Mine does too.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Don Carlos on 05/17/12 at 10:50 am


I understand completely.  Though I stand by my statement that you are a beautiful woman.  That is being realistic and it's undeniable.

I will say, however, that I gained almost half of the weight back that I lost last year.  It's so hard to explain, but it's like there is this little voice in my head saying "I need something to eat, I need something to eat, I need something to eat."  Even if I've just eaten.  Even if I know I'm full.  I can't sit down and watch TV without something to eat.  And if I try to, I just can't get the voice out of my head.  I am probably not making much sense...but that is how my mind works.  I just wish I could find a way to shut that voice UP!


Seems to me you might be involved in patterned response here.  You associate TV with food because its a habit, and habits are hard to break.  So instead of watching TV, try reading something, or going for a walk.  After a while the association between TV and food might go away ( and besides, both are better than tv)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/17/12 at 10:54 am


what's the difference between and inner and an outer voice? ???


inner voice....the voice you hear in your head. a voice that speaks to you
outer voice....the voice you speak with.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/17/12 at 10:56 am


Seems to me you might be involved in patterned response here.  You associate TV with food because its a habit, and habits are hard to break.  So instead of watching TV, try reading something, or going for a walk.  After a while the association between TV and food might go away ( and besides, both are better than tv)


I disagree....nothing is better than TV  :P

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/17/12 at 2:06 pm


inner voice....the voice you hear in your head. a voice that speaks to you
outer voice....the voice you speak with.


Thank You.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80s_cheerleader on 05/18/12 at 11:27 am

Okay, so there's a girl I work with who is now taking phentermine to lose weight ::) She is trying to say that "her doctor put her on it because he thinks her weight gain is what's causing her joint pain". Of course, she kinda' gave herself away when her OB/GYNE came into the store and she made the comment "guess what I got? Something I've been bugging you about FOREVER?!?!?!"  :P :P :P and the doctor said "YOU DIDN'T!!!!??? Who was stupid enough to give you that?" and she said "Dr. X...he thinks if I lose some weight my joints won't hurt as much". The thing is, she's not really THAT big. She's probably a couple of inches shorter than me (I'd say about 5'4" or so) and wears a size 12-14...although she squeezes into a 10). Personally, I think it's ridiculous that she's doing so, but hey, I guess it's HER health she's putting at risk! The REALLY ridiculous thing is that she's ALWAYS "sick" to begin with and now she's taking medication that can make her even SICKER??? It's scary how far some people will go in the name of vanity....btw, she is also a bleach blonde, tans year round, and recently spent almost $200 on products for her skin because she was developing dark patches from the tanning (yet her kids are on "All Kids", her daughter receives a full "hardship" scholarship to a private high school, and she receives some sort of public assistance because she is considered "low income"...maybe if she didn't call in to work half the time, she would actually MAKE some $$) ::)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Foo Bar on 05/22/12 at 8:47 pm


Okay, so there's a girl I work with who is now taking phentermine to lose weight ::) She is trying to say that "her doctor put her on it because he thinks her weight gain is what's causing her joint pain". Of course, she kinda' gave herself away when her OB/GYNE came into the store and she made the comment "guess what I got? Something I've been bugging you about FOREVER?!?!?!" 


Last time I checked, phentermine was still indicated for short-term (weeks, not months/years) weight loss.  It was fenfluramine that caused valvulopathy.  Phentermine was the safer half of the Fen-Phen combo.

Your friend might do well to talk to her OB/GYN about two upcoming options named Lorquess and Qnexa.  Neither drug has been approved yet, but either or both could be on the market within three months.  Both drugs have their respective side effects and tradeoffs (If approved, post-approval studies will be required to determine the heart disease risks associated with either drug.  Lorquess is a new drug, and its efficacy is somewhat less than that of Qnexa.  Qnexa is a combination of phentermine and topiramate, and the topiramate component carries with it a risk of cleft palate, which may not matter if your friend has no plans to become pregnant).  Your friend's risk profile may not fit well with either drug.

I am not a doctor.  If approved this summer, the new obesity drugs may help get people over the hump of lifestyle change in a 1-2 year timeframe, but they will likely find their best use as aids, not as cures.  (That's not a bad thing; by way of analogy, I know of no doctor who would frown on a patient who kicked the smoking habit with the aid of a nicotine patch.)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 05/31/12 at 12:16 pm

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/05/30/should-making-fun-of-a-co-workers-weight-be-illegal/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl23%7Csec3_lnk1&pLid=165601&a_dgi=aolshare_facebook

Some people think fatism should be illegal.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 05/31/12 at 1:41 pm


http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/05/30/should-making-fun-of-a-co-workers-weight-be-illegal/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl23%7Csec3_lnk1&pLid=165601&a_dgi=aolshare_facebook

Some people think fatism should be illegal.





Too bad she didn't record the conversation.




This:    >:(



Silence about a person's weight could be dangerous, however, if individuals "don't know the medical consequences that result from their fatness," according to Tam Fry, of the U.K.'s National Obesity Forum. "Doctors must be able to give them 'tough love' and tell them they are overweight or obese."








Thank you Ms Fry cuz apparently we'd never know we were fat if someone didn't tell us ::)



Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 05/31/12 at 1:52 pm


http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/05/30/should-making-fun-of-a-co-workers-weight-be-illegal/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl23%7Csec3_lnk1&pLid=165601&a_dgi=aolshare_facebook

Some people think fatism should be illegal.


I think it's really dumb!  ::)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Goodogbadog on 06/08/12 at 8:31 pm


I am an fat, black woman..... Much as the phrase pains me, I am Morisot obese.

I rarely hear people make fun of other people because they are of a certain race or gender. I mean, I guess you get the occasional 'because you're a woman' remark but really it's not so straight forward or in your face when it comes to your race or gender.  But people seem to have no problem jumping to the fat jokes and making comments as though you can't hear them.

I can count the number of times I felt I was treated inappropriately because I'm black on one hand.
I can't even think of a time I was blatantly chastised for being female
I can't begin to tell you how man times I have heard comments about my weight.


I was in line at an amusement park- last time I went because I refuse to go again until I lose weight. Two guys inline behind me decided to make sounds like the earth was shaking every time I took a step. It was humiliating and the whole time I wanted to turn and tell them off but I was with a friend and I couldn't tell if she was aware of it- I don't think she was- and I didn't want to go into the details with her so I just tried to ignore it but that was 10 yrs ago and it still hurts like it happened 5 minutes ago.

Once I was running to enter a store and some guy driving in another lane - let me preface this by saying he pulled out of a parking space  row away from me and and needed to go right to get out of the parking lot- instead he turned left, circled around and pulled up beside me so his friend could point and laugh 'Oh my god it can run'

Why is it okay to just make fun of people because they have oases they're struggling to deal with?  No one is fat by choice. If it were as simple as diet and exercise we'd all be skinny but there are a multitude of reasons for obesity (part of it is I like to eat and I hate to work out but also part of it is I ate to soothe pain I didn't want to address.

  Either way it shouldn't matter if a person is fat or not we still feel so why go out of your way to to be mean on that particular level.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm sick of fat jokes. It's not funny I don't care who you're talking about.  >:(


Hi, I'm new!  This is the first topic I saw after I posted my greeting!  I think it's disgraceful that people make fun of people for being overweight... it's like they have NO understanding that it hurts people's feelings to be made fun of, or they don't care about people's feelings, or hurting people's feelings gives them a feeling of power.  Humans would be better off as a people if we had a stronger sense of empathy. But we don't, not yet anyway. As for the impulse to disapprove of over-weightness, that could be because as a species, we inherently know it's unhealthy for us to be overweight. That doesn't give anyone the excuse or right to speak about it in front of the overweight person, though.  I'm sorry that happens to you. :-[  Have you ever seen an overweight person on that show What Would You Do?  I've watched that a couple of times. I'll bet someone would come to your defense! 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/08/12 at 8:50 pm



Thank you. Welcome to the boards.



So....t'all who k ow me know I love Joel McHale....'cept for that one character flaw that compels him and his writers to make fun of fat people on the Soup.

My friend ran into him at an event and asked him to sign a pic of them taken at a previous run in. Joel remembers Steve from the community set visit we had and the Paley events etc. anyway the pix was taken at a bad angle and my friend looked bigger in the pic. Joel looks at it and tells Steve that he lost weight. Steve's like not really its a bad angle. Joel autographs the pic and writes "You're not fat now"  Why do I love the bastard so much  ;D

Part of me fears my next convo with him yet part of me kinda would like to hear that from him  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 06/09/12 at 6:49 am


Hi, I'm new!  This is the first topic I saw after I posted my greeting!  I think it's disgraceful that people make fun of people for being overweight... it's like they have NO understanding that it hurts people's feelings to be made fun of, or they don't care about people's feelings, or hurting people's feelings gives them a feeling of power.  Humans would be better off as a people if we had a stronger sense of empathy. But we don't, not yet anyway. As for the impulse to disapprove of over-weightness, that could be because as a species, we inherently know it's unhealthy for us to be overweight. That doesn't give anyone the excuse or right to speak about it in front of the overweight person, though.  I'm sorry that happens to you. :-[  Have you ever seen an overweight person on that show What Would You Do?  I've watched that a couple of times. I'll bet someone would come to your defense!


I agree, people should learn to appreciate others and treat them the way the should be treated.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/09/12 at 2:18 pm


I agree, people should learn to appreciate others and treat them the way the should be treated.



I sincerely hope Howard one day you adopt this attitude the customers at path mark

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 06/09/12 at 7:42 pm



I sincerely hope Howard one day you adopt this attitude the customers at path mark


that's what I do I try to treat others fairly and then they'll you with respect.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: karen on 06/10/12 at 1:40 pm


that's what I do I try to treat others fairly and then they'll you with respect.


:-X

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/10/12 at 1:51 pm


:-X



I was thinking the same thing but now I've changed my mind.


that's what I do I try to treat others fairly and then they'll you with respect.


If this were the case Howard you wouldn't complain about people/customers so much. Just because they do something differently than you would do it doesn't mean they're doing it wrong or make it bad. I think perhaps you're incapable of seeing things from another's point of view but, if you can then perhaps before complaining about someone try and find a plausible reason for them doing what they did.  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: karen on 06/10/12 at 1:53 pm



I was thinking the same thing but now I've changed my mind.



I was looking for the jaw drop smiley we used to have!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/10/12 at 1:57 pm


I was looking for the jaw drop smiley we used to have!


Too honest? I get that way sometimes.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 06/10/12 at 1:58 pm



I was thinking the same thing but now I've changed my mind.

If this were the case Howard you wouldn't complain about people/customers so much. Just because they do something differently than you would do it doesn't mean they're doing it wrong or make it bad. I think perhaps you're incapable of seeing things from another's point of view but, if you can then perhaps before complaining about someone try and find a plausible reason for them doing what they did.  :-\\


I guess the only way to stop complaining is to enjoy what you do you don't have to love what you do but just go to work every day saying to yourself "it's only a job".

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/10/12 at 2:01 pm


I guess the only way to stop complaining is to enjoy what you do you don't have to love what you do but just go to work every day saying to yourself "it's only a job".


No it's to look at something a person is doing and try to understand why they chose to what they did. Instead of calling tge stupid or complaining about them because you do know why they did what they did. Ie taking the blinders off....not having such a limited view in various situations.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: karen on 06/10/12 at 2:02 pm


Too honest? I get that way sometimes.


Not at all.

I meant I wanted to post that smiley instead of the  :-X I posted!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/10/12 at 2:03 pm


Not at all.

I meant I wanted to post that smiley instead of the  :-X I posted!


Gotcha lol

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Goodogbadog on 06/14/12 at 10:52 pm


No it's to look at something a person is doing and try to understand why they chose to what they did. Instead of calling tge stupid or complaining about them because you do know why they did what they did. Ie taking the blinders off....not having such a limited view in various situations.


Here's the thing, I'm intro-specting about this (hard for a dog to do) and I think for myself it's because I have some kind of angry feeling running inside me that I complain about what others do. The anger started a long time ago, my mistress used to yell at me and hit me with a newspaper before I was house-broken. I mean, how did she think I was going to pee on that paper she was hitting me with!?  Made no sense. Well, finally I learned what was expected, and I was a good dog most of the time, but that hurt and angry feeling stayed with me anyway, so sometimes it'd be going on what some person, like the mailman would come up to the door and I didn't like the mailman because he was different from my family, so I'd bark at him all the time.  Then I was called a "bad dog." Well, they shouldn't have yelled at me and hit me. It hurt my feelings and deep down I have this running feeling of anger. But I know how to be a gooddog now and get patted a lot and that makes up for it, but it doesn't go away.  *whines*  :\'(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80s_cheerleader on 06/15/12 at 10:51 am


Last time I checked, phentermine was still indicated for short-term (weeks, not months/years) weight loss.  It was fenfluramine that caused valvulopathy.  Phentermine was the safer half of the Fen-Phen combo.

Your friend might do well to talk to her OB/GYN about two upcoming options named Lorquess and Qnexa.  Neither drug has been approved yet, but either or both could be on the market within three months.  Both drugs have their respective side effects and tradeoffs (If approved, post-approval studies will be required to determine the heart disease risks associated with either drug.  Lorquess is a new drug, and its efficacy is somewhat less than that of Qnexa.  Qnexa is a combination of phentermine and topiramate, and the topiramate component carries with it a risk of cleft palate, which may not matter if your friend has no plans to become pregnant).  Your friend's risk profile may not fit well with either drug.

I am not a doctor.  If approved this summer, the new obesity drugs may help get people over the hump of lifestyle change in a 1-2 year timeframe, but they will likely find their best use as aids, not as cures.  (That's not a bad thing; by way of analogy, I know of no doctor who would frown on a patient who kicked the smoking habit with the aid of a nicotine patch.)
The thing is, she's NOT "obese" or even CLOSE to being "obese". Heck, she's BARELY "overweight"! Her OB-GYN refused to put her on phentermine because the doc knows all she wants is a "quick fix" to lose weight so she looks better in a bikini ::) She STILL eats nothing but crap and has only lost 2lbs. since she started it over a month ago....I think if she just stopped drinking like a fish every weekend and started eating better, she'd probably lose a few pounds WITHOUT the drugs...

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80s_cheerleader on 06/15/12 at 10:56 am


I guess the only way to stop complaining is to enjoy what you do you don't have to love what you do but just go to work every day saying to yourself "it's only a job".
But Howard, you complain about people EVERYWHERE, not just at work....if it's not people at work, it's people on the bus, or at Subway, or walking by your house, etc.  What she's trying to say is that you need to realize that EVERYONE is different and you need to ACCEPT people for who they are and stop expecting the world to revolve around YOU! People aren't always going to do what you WANT or LIKE, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Think of it this way.....maybe you're just as annoying to THEM as they are to you???? How would YOU feel if people were CONSTANTLY complaining about YOU like YOU complain about THEM?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 06/15/12 at 11:42 am


The thing is, she's NOT "obese" or even CLOSE to being "obese". Heck, she's BARELY "overweight"! Her OB-GYN refused to put her on phentermine because the doc knows all she wants is a "quick fix" to lose weight so she looks better in a bikini ::) She STILL eats nothing but crap and has only lost 2lbs. since she started it over a month ago....I think if she just stopped drinking like a fish every weekend and started eating better, she'd probably lose a few pounds WITHOUT the drugs...



But Howard, you complain about people EVERYWHERE, not just at work....if it's not people at work, it's people on the bus, or at Subway, or walking by your house, etc.  What she's trying to say is that you need to realize that EVERYONE is different and you need to ACCEPT people for who they are and stop expecting the world to revolve around YOU! People aren't always going to do what you WANT or LIKE, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Think of it this way.....maybe you're just as annoying to THEM as they are to you???? How would YOU feel if people were CONSTANTLY complaining about YOU like YOU complain about THEM?



Um...  :-X

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 06/15/12 at 7:52 pm


But Howard, you complain about people EVERYWHERE, not just at work....if it's not people at work, it's people on the bus, or at Subway, or walking by your house, etc.  What she's trying to say is that you need to realize that EVERYONE is different and you need to ACCEPT people for who they are and stop expecting the world to revolve around YOU! People aren't always going to do what you WANT or LIKE, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Think of it this way.....maybe you're just as annoying to THEM as they are to you???? How would YOU feel if people were CONSTANTLY complaining about YOU like YOU complain about THEM?


You have a point there Mama I wouldn't like it.  :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Goodogbadog on 06/16/12 at 4:40 am


You have a point there Mama I wouldn't like it.  :(


So what do you think about my theory that people (as well as dogs) who are always criticizing others for this and that are doing so b/c they have this inward irritation with life in general, a continuous running feeling of hurt and anger, that may have started in childhood – from some even minor angry or problematic treatment from a parent? (to say nothing of outright abuse) That feeling of hurt and anger has to have an outlet somewhere, so a lot of times, people get it out by criticizing others. (within, they are also self-critical.)  SO, this is a valuable insight, if we accept it, because it gives us a hook on which to catch ourselves in irritable moods, inwardly criticizing others. (AND ourselves)  So then we can begin to change, not just because we "should" but because we CAN. We can realize that those old days are over, we got a bit of a bad deal in childhood (too much criticism, or neglect)  and now we can encourage ourselves to stop ourselves before we speak, and choose a more loving or accepting way to look at things, and choose to connect to those people, rather than criticize them. Or, at least just ignore them, if we really DON't like them and what they are doing!!
And then when we are really teaching ourselves to be more loving, we will become more happy!!!  :-*  Oh, and less SELF critical will really help us be more happy.
I'm just going by what they are saying to you, it's not something about you that I've observed myself, 'cause I just got here!! Woof!  Being the good dog today!  Please tell me if this seems to make no sense, OK?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: greenjello74 on 06/16/12 at 2:37 pm

Well I know its been a while since I stuck my head in here HI Everyone! This is a topic I can't resist.

I have been fat all my life,\fataphobia exists and we are not protected against discrimination in employment etc. It makes our children sick trying to obtain the perfect body, like the people they idolize. It makes school a more miserable experience than it has to be. At least now there is a movement to prevent bullying.
you
But growing up fat does have advantages, like growing a really thick skin. That's the trick you see, I learned if people didn't like to look at me their loss, cause I'm a helluva cool chick. But running into this phobia as an adult, I am just floored whenever I encounter it, it such a sign of immaturity, and shallowness. I have to "defriend" peeps on fb for making cracks about it.

I am so proud of the job you are doing Snoz, keep up the good work, you will feel so good when you buy that 16. I just got into one for the first time in over 30 years. 
and like I told ya if I can do it anyone can.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/16/12 at 4:34 pm



Well I know its been a while since I stuck my head in here HI Everyone! This is a topic I can't resist.

I have been fat all my life,\fataphobia exists and we are not protected against discrimination in employment etc. It makes our children sick trying to obtain the perfect body, like the people they idolize. It makes school a more miserable experience than it has to be. At least now there is a movement to prevent bullying.
you
But growing up fat does have advantages, like growing a really thick skin. That's the trick you see, I learned if people didn't like to look at me their loss, cause I'm a helluva cool chick. But running into this phobia as an adult, I am just floored whenever I encounter it, it such a sign of immaturity, and shallowness. I have to "defriend" peeps on fb for making cracks about it.

I am so proud of the job you are doing Snoz, keep up the good work, you will feel so good when you buy that 16. I just got into one for the first time in over 30 years. 
and like I told ya if I can do it anyone can.  ;D




you are one helluva cool chick!!! O0

thanks and congrats to you and great job on all your hard work....16? I can't even imagine it yet....

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: greenjello74 on 06/16/12 at 5:58 pm

You'll get there, I was so thrilled when I bought the shirt from the 3.00 rack , it was on a 2x hanger, I took it home and tried it on, and noticed the size was 16-18. I was so surprised! I couldn't believe it. My latest is I went down from a 44 to 42 size bra. All my weight is in my belly, my ex used to say that God put my butt on the front! Thats the hardest place to lose it. We just basically cut out all the processed food, I eat like 1400 cals a day. Skinny Cow ice cream is a life saver. Before I started having all this trouble with my knee we were doing 90 mins of exercise 4 days a week. So being semi immobilized sux. But hopefully I can return to the routine soon, its been a month and I am so afraid I am going to gain some weight back. Allow yourself one cheat day a week, eat whatever you want, that helps me to be good the rest of the time.

And ya know what? Screw whoever doesn't like the way you look, those guys only showed how immature, and shallow they are. Like Judge Judy says
"Beauty fades, stupid is forever"

You are the coolest chick I know, those turds probably were out on parole anyway!    Rock on sista 8)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 06/16/12 at 6:43 pm


You'll get there, I was so thrilled when I bought the shirt from the 3.00 rack , it was on a 2x hanger, I took it home and tried it on, and noticed the size was 16-18. I was so surprised! I couldn't believe it. My latest is I went down from a 44 to 42 size bra. All my weight is in my belly, my ex used to say that God put my butt on the front! Thats the hardest place to lose it. We just basically cut out all the processed food, I eat like 1400 cals a day. Skinny Cow ice cream is a life saver. Before I started having all this trouble with my knee we were doing 90 mins of exercise 4 days a week. So being semi immobilized sux. But hopefully I can return to the routine soon, its been a month and I am so afraid I am going to gain some weight back. Allow yourself one cheat day a week, eat whatever you want, that helps me to be good the rest of the time.

And ya know what? Screw whoever doesn't like the way you look, those guys only showed how immature, and shallow they are. Like Judge Judy says
"Beauty fades, stupid is forever"

You are the coolest chick I know, those turds probably were out on parole anyway!    Rock on sista 8)


I'd karma ya again if I could!

Excellent work.

I've been doing the EA sports for the Wii....what an awesome workout!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 06/16/12 at 7:49 pm


Well I know its been a while since I stuck my head in here HI Everyone! This is a topic I can't resist.

I have been fat all my life,\fataphobia exists and we are not protected against discrimination in employment etc. It makes our children sick trying to obtain the perfect body, like the people they idolize. It makes school a more miserable experience than it has to be. At least now there is a movement to prevent bullying.
you
But growing up fat does have advantages, like growing a really thick skin. That's the trick you see, I learned if people didn't like to look at me their loss, cause I'm a helluva cool chick. But running into this phobia as an adult, I am just floored whenever I encounter it, it such a sign of immaturity, and shallowness. I have to "defriend" peeps on fb for making cracks about it.

I am so proud of the job you are doing Snoz, keep up the good work, you will feel so good when you buy that 16. I just got into one for the first time in over 30 years. 
and like I told ya if I can do it anyone can.  ;D


Hey GreenJello welcome back.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 06/16/12 at 9:20 pm


Here's the thing, I'm intro-specting about this (hard for a dog to do) and I think for myself it's because I have some kind of angry feeling running inside me that I complain about what others do. The anger started a long time ago, my mistress used to yell at me and hit me with a newspaper before I was house-broken. I mean, how did she think I was going to pee on that paper she was hitting me with!?  Made no sense. Well, finally I learned what was expected, and I was a good dog most of the time, but that hurt and angry feeling stayed with me anyway, so sometimes it'd be going on what some person, like the mailman would come up to the door and I didn't like the mailman because he was different from my family, so I'd bark at him all the time.  Then I was called a "bad dog." Well, they shouldn't have yelled at me and hit me. It hurt my feelings and deep down I have this running feeling of anger. But I know how to be a gooddog now and get patted a lot and that makes up for it, but it doesn't go away.  *whines*  :\'(


Why do you always talk like a dog? Just wondering! lol ???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: greenjello74 on 06/24/12 at 7:29 pm


Hey GreenJello welcome back.  :)



Hi ya how you been doing?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Goodogbadog on 06/25/12 at 12:39 am


Why do you always talk like a dog? Just wondering! lol ???


HI!! (*buff*)  I was talking like a dog for fun for a couple a days because of my name "good dog bad dog." That's why!!!  Thanks for asking!!  I was enjoying it, but now I'm not in the mood any more!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 06/25/12 at 8:18 am



Hi ya how you been doing?


I'm doing pretty well How are things?  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 07/15/12 at 3:20 pm

People can be mean. I remember being 16 and being called an elephant by an ex-friend. Of course we're ex-friends now partly because of too many chances I gave him (including the 'elephant' quote) and partly because he was a prick to me because he was jealous of my family's money. In my head I'm like 'Dude, I'm not even that rich!'.

Anyways, back to subject, this thread is about fatism. Well, being overweight and FINALLY losing it now has been a journey and I'll always have compassion to anyone with a weight problem.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 07/15/12 at 4:16 pm


People can be mean. I remember being 16 and being called an elephant by an ex-friend. Of course we're ex-friends now partly because of too many chances I gave him (including the 'elephant' quote) and partly because he was a prick to me because he was jealous of my family's money. In my head I'm like 'Dude, I'm not even that rich!'.

Anyways, back to subject, this thread is about fatism. Well, being overweight and FINALLY losing it now has been a journey and I'll always have compassion to anyone with a weight problem.


Your ex friend sounds like a prick. Keep up the good work and the compassion.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 07/15/12 at 4:46 pm

July 4th was another middle school girl encounter, but this time I said to myself "It doesn't matter what some clueless, unkind, stuck-up little snot says about me to others.  One day (sooner then she will realize), she may look like me, not that she will remember being a brat in middle school.  ::)  It gave me some measure of comfort.  Still wanted to squash her like a bug though  ;) ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 07/15/12 at 5:09 pm


Your ex friend sounds like a prick. Keep up the good work and the compassion.


That is an understatement, LOL. Who knows? Maybe he has changed, but even if he did I just gave him too many chances.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 07/15/12 at 5:12 pm


July 4th was another middle school girl encounter, but this time I said to myself "It doesn't matter what some clueless, unkind, stuck-up little snot says about me to others.  One day (sooner then she will realize), she may look like me, not that she will remember being a brat in middle school.  ::)  It gave me some measure of comfort.  Still wanted to squash her like a bug though  ;) ;D


70 to 80 percent of the time I do see karma hit someone back. Age 12 to 15 kids are the most cruel when they are cruel.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 07/16/12 at 7:46 am


People can be mean. I remember being 16 and being called an elephant by an ex-friend. Of course we're ex-friends now partly because of too many chances I gave him (including the 'elephant' quote) and partly because he was a prick to me because he was jealous of my family's money. In my head I'm like 'Dude, I'm not even that rich!'.

Anyways, back to subject, this thread is about fatism. Well, being overweight and FINALLY losing it now has been a journey and I'll always have compassion to anyone with a weight problem.


he sounds like a big jackass.  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 07/16/12 at 9:49 am


he sounds like a big jackass.  >:(


Thanks Howard.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 10/02/12 at 5:09 pm

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/overweight-news-anchor-takes-fat-shaming-bully-task-193700343.html

You go Jennifer!  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 10/02/12 at 5:43 pm


http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/overweight-news-anchor-takes-fat-shaming-bully-task-193700343.html

You go Jennifer!  :)



Major kudos to her but the comments are so nasty.



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 10/02/12 at 5:54 pm


http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/overweight-news-anchor-takes-fat-shaming-bully-task-193700343.html

You go Jennifer!  :)



she's my new hero

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 10/02/12 at 5:56 pm



Major kudos to her but the comments are so nasty.



Cat



the ignorance of the people in this country astounds me....why are there so many of them and why are they so freaking "loud"?    :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: meesa on 10/04/12 at 4:06 pm



the ignorance of the people in this country astounds me....why are there so many of them and why are they so freaking "loud"?    :-\\

I don't know, for some reason everyone thinks that it is their obligation to pass judgement on others. And the loudest are usually the most ignorant of all. :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 10/07/12 at 1:41 pm



I have this thing about "wasting" food.  I must eat all of it and I don't believe in left overs.  I also eat in twos....It's weird but if I have something to eat I always want two of them... two tv dinners, two chicken breasts, two sandwiches... I'm not sure where this OCD-like need came from but it's been with me for as long as I can remember... I'm working on reconditioning my thinking but once I get a craving for something in my head it won't go away. I've been craving sushi for 5 days now... I can't let it go... I'm trying to not give into the craving but, like the recent ham incident, I know I ultimately will... .


I ate a lot because I would imitate people eating since I was 4 and by the time I was 9 or 10 and stopped imitating people, I was about 40 pounds overweight for my age, height, body structure, etc, etc. Also, I liked a lot of foods when I was younger, and still do today.

I still have cravings, but I can understand your OCD-like thinking, fortunately for me it's not with food, but with double-checking and triple-checking my mailbox, desk, backpack, closets, cabinets, etc, etc. But unfortunately for me this OCD caused great havoc for me during my teen years. :-[

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Inertia on 10/08/12 at 1:40 pm

I am on the heavier side myself. People are rarely bold enough to make commentary about my weight, but anyone who dares to try better be prepared for a verbal lashing unless I am in a particularly kind mood. People who act rude toward others for no apparent reason deserve to receive the same treatment in return in my opinion. My family does not call me "spitfire" for no reason.

My sister has had people make comments on occasion about her weight too. Typically, these kinds of statements are made ignorant people who seem to find a dire need to point out the fact that others are fat. Seriously? We see ourselves in the mirror everyday. You are not telling us anything new. Thanks.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 10/08/12 at 7:35 pm


I am on the heavier side myself. People are rarely bold enough to make commentary about my weight, but anyone who dares to try better be prepared for a verbal lashing unless I am in a particularly kind mood. People who act rude toward others for no apparent reason deserve to receive the same treatment in return in my opinion. My family does not call me "spitfire" for no reason.

My sister has had people make comments on occasion about her weight too. Typically, these kinds of statements are made ignorant people who seem to find a dire need to point out the fact that others are fat. Seriously? We see ourselves in the mirror everyday. You are not telling us anything new. Thanks.


Don't pay attention to them, they're jerks. >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Inertia on 10/08/12 at 8:08 pm


Don't pay attention to them, they're jerks. >:(


Ha ha. I prefer a more direct approach myself as people who are rude for no apparent reason deserve to be put in their place in my opinion. Of course, I have that kind of mentality with most people who think they are superior to others for some reason being it socioeconomic status, appearance, or otherwise.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 10/09/12 at 3:51 pm


Ha ha. I prefer a more direct approach myself as people who are rude for no apparent reason deserve to be put in their place in my opinion. Of course, I have that kind of mentality with most people who think they are superior to others for some reason being it socioeconomic status, appearance, or otherwise.


My Father's fat but he knows that he's overweight and he takes those situations very comedic, he's been overweight for many years and yet he has no plans to lose pounds. Plus with sciatica and arthritis, makes it worse.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: The Valley Goth on 10/30/12 at 1:26 am

Like, Hi,

I grew up with medical issues, so I was always thin.  During college, I refused to eat for a time, so I became even thinner.  After college (2001+), I returned to what was, more or less, a healthy weight, and I was still thin.

Then came the year 2009.  I received some REALLY bad medical news (Not cancer, and nothing contagious or terminal, but really, really bad, anyway), and I just didn't really care anymore.  I was sitting more than ever before (Especially since I'd discovered YouTube during 2007?), and I was still fairly thin, so I continued to eat comfort foods whenever I wanted to do so.

I am now at about...now don't laugh...113 pounds.  That would actually be a healthy weight, or a slightly low weight for a healthy person, but it's a bad weight for me.  I purposely gained weight for two reasons.  First of all, everybody who was showing their belly buttons during that 2001-2007 timeframe seemed to have a pudgy belly, and I convinced myself that that looked sexy, and that I should gain weight.  Secondly, my grandmother complimented me after I really began gaining weight, saying that she'd always thought that I'd been too skinny before, and that my rounder figure made me look "more mature", in a good way.

Guess what?  After I had gained a little MORE weight, I obviously weighed too much for HER tastes, because she began criticizing me (Ie: You ate TWO ice cream bars?").  I'm going to have to have a great deal of courage when I go to Grandmother's house for the holidays this year, and I'm going to have to hold both of my chins high, because I know that she IS going to say SOMETHING about my weight.  Oooh, dear!

I'm also going to have to convince a certain someone from my family to stop taking me to fast food places whenever we eat outside of the house, because, for one thing, I'm really starting to hate fast food, and, for another, it's just going to take me to the dreaded 120 lb. mark that my family is so afraid of.
8) 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: bookmistress4ever on 10/30/12 at 3:03 am

I was in the grocery store the other day, waiting on my friend to decide what bread he wanted to buy.  I take him to the store since he doesn't drive.  Anyway, this man comes into the bread aisle with his little boy (I'm not good with ages of kids, but he was walking and talking but not yet in school) maybe around 5ish?  The man is looking for a certain brand of bread, and not paying attention to the kid.  The kid comes up to me and says to me, looking up at me "You eat too much, why you do that?"  I didn't know what to say... I kinda mumbled "yeah" to him... then he repeated it three more times, I guess I didn't give him the answer he wanted to hear.

Almost makes me want to just stay in the damn house and never leave.  Why can't people just leave me the heck alone?  I really do try to do good in this world, I don't mess with anybody.  I know this stuff should just roll off my back like water on a duck, but it never really does.  :\'(  I just don't always say anything about it.  I mean, the kid was small, so he learned it from somewhere... I guess he felt he needed to tell me that so I'd be aware of what a whale I am.  Like I don't already know.

On the brightside, there are people that treat me with kindness, even though I look like this.  Some I can think of is, well, the gang here whom I met in Philadelphia.  When we all walked back to Karen's hotel to get a drink, I know I walked super slow and kept the group back (when they could have just walked there much faster without me lagging behind.)  NOBODY complained or prodded me to hurry up, we all just walked slowly and talked on the way.  It was pretty awesome.

Another time I can remember, was we went to Olive Garden, and sometimes I cannot comfortably fit in chairs with arms.  Without being asked, the hostess changed my chair with one with no arms, and I was quite comfortable.  She did not make it into a big production.  I will always remember that.

Last good one to share, before I was married, I was rather lonely... the guys I'd meet, well, they just didn't seem to want more then one thing out of me, and it wasn't companionship or a permanent relationship.  :\'(  I was having a bad day, must have been feeling sorry for myself, I was waiting at a stoplight when a flower seller was walking up and down the road trying to sell bouquets.  He brought me over a yellow rose (my favorite anyways) but I said, I'm sorry, I don't have any money.  He said, that's ok, it's for you.
That one thing completely made me smile, and still does today.  It's kinda like those old 80s commercials for Impulse body spray.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAIQd0tAnwA

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 10/30/12 at 7:13 am

Oh, Patty, I'm sorry that happened.  Just remember, he was a little kid and they don't seem to have that button in their brain that tells them to not say it.  He was probably just curious and didn't know that it would hurt your feelings.  He might even feel bad if he knew it did.  I taught 4 year olds in church for a few years and there were quite a few like that. 


{{{{hugs}}}}

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 10/30/12 at 11:31 am


I was in the grocery store the other day, waiting on my friend to decide what bread he wanted to buy.  I take him to the store since he doesn't drive.  Anyway, this man comes into the bread aisle with his little boy (I'm not good with ages of kids, but he was walking and talking but not yet in school) maybe around 5ish?  The man is looking for a certain brand of bread, and not paying attention to the kid.  The kid comes up to me and says to me, looking up at me "You eat too much, why you do that?"  I didn't know what to say... I kinda mumbled "yeah" to him... then he repeated it three more times, I guess I didn't give him the answer he wanted to hear.

Almost makes me want to just stay in the damn house and never leave.  Why can't people just leave me the heck alone?  I really do try to do good in this world, I don't mess with anybody.  I know this stuff should just roll off my back like water on a duck, but it never really does.  :\'(  I just don't always say anything about it.  I mean, the kid was small, so he learned it from somewhere... I guess he felt he needed to tell me that so I'd be aware of what a whale I am.  Like I don't already know.

On the brightside, there are people that treat me with kindness, even though I look like this.  Some I can think of is, well, the gang here whom I met in Philadelphia.  When we all walked back to Karen's hotel to get a drink, I know I walked super slow and kept the group back (when they could have just walked there much faster without me lagging behind.)  NOBODY complained or prodded me to hurry up, we all just walked slowly and talked on the way.  It was pretty awesome.

Another time I can remember, was we went to Olive Garden, and sometimes I cannot comfortably fit in chairs with arms.  Without being asked, the hostess changed my chair with one with no arms, and I was quite comfortable.  She did not make it into a big production.  I will always remember that.

Last good one to share, before I was married, I was rather lonely... the guys I'd meet, well, they just didn't seem to want more then one thing out of me, and it wasn't companionship or a permanent relationship.  :\'(  I was having a bad day, must have been feeling sorry for myself, I was waiting at a stoplight when a flower seller was walking up and down the road trying to sell bouquets.  He brought me over a yellow rose (my favorite anyways) but I said, I'm sorry, I don't have any money.  He said, that's ok, it's for you.
That one thing completely made me smile, and still does today.  It's kinda like those old 80s commercials for Impulse body spray.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAIQd0tAnwA




(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 10/30/12 at 1:00 pm


I was in the grocery store the other day, waiting on my friend to decide what bread he wanted to buy.  I take him to the store since he doesn't drive.  Anyway, this man comes into the bread aisle with his little boy (I'm not good with ages of kids, but he was walking and talking but not yet in school) maybe around 5ish?  The man is looking for a certain brand of bread, and not paying attention to the kid.  The kid comes up to me and says to me, looking up at me "You eat too much, why you do that?"  I didn't know what to say... I kinda mumbled "yeah" to him... then he repeated it three more times, I guess I didn't give him the answer he wanted to hear.

Almost makes me want to just stay in the damn house and never leave.  Why can't people just leave me the heck alone?  I really do try to do good in this world, I don't mess with anybody.  I know this stuff should just roll off my back like water on a duck, but it never really does.  :\'(  I just don't always say anything about it.  I mean, the kid was small, so he learned it from somewhere... I guess he felt he needed to tell me that so I'd be aware of what a whale I am.  Like I don't already know.

On the brightside, there are people that treat me with kindness, even though I look like this.  Some I can think of is, well, the gang here whom I met in Philadelphia.  When we all walked back to Karen's hotel to get a drink, I know I walked super slow and kept the group back (when they could have just walked there much faster without me lagging behind.)  NOBODY complained or prodded me to hurry up, we all just walked slowly and talked on the way.  It was pretty awesome.

Another time I can remember, was we went to Olive Garden, and sometimes I cannot comfortably fit in chairs with arms.  Without being asked, the hostess changed my chair with one with no arms, and I was quite comfortable.  She did not make it into a big production.  I will always remember that.

Last good one to share, before I was married, I was rather lonely... the guys I'd meet, well, they just didn't seem to want more then one thing out of me, and it wasn't companionship or a permanent relationship.  :\'(  I was having a bad day, must have been feeling sorry for myself, I was waiting at a stoplight when a flower seller was walking up and down the road trying to sell bouquets.  He brought me over a yellow rose (my favorite anyways) but I said, I'm sorry, I don't have any money.  He said, that's ok, it's for you.
That one thing completely made me smile, and still does today.  It's kinda like those old 80s commercials for Impulse body spray.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAIQd0tAnwA



Hugs. 

You are beautiful, Patty.  I've said it before and I will continue to say it. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 10/30/12 at 4:53 pm


Like, Hi,

I grew up with medical issues, so I was always thin.  During college, I refused to eat for a time, so I became even thinner.  After college (2001+), I returned to what was, more or less, a healthy weight, and I was still thin.

Then came the year 2009.  I received some REALLY bad medical news (Not cancer, and nothing contagious or terminal, but really, really bad, anyway), and I just didn't really care anymore.  I was sitting more than ever before (Especially since I'd discovered YouTube during 2007?), and I was still fairly thin, so I continued to eat comfort foods whenever I wanted to do so.

I am now at about...now don't laugh...113 pounds.  That would actually be a healthy weight, or a slightly low weight for a healthy person, but it's a bad weight for me.  I purposely gained weight for two reasons.  First of all, everybody who was showing their belly buttons during that 2001-2007 timeframe seemed to have a pudgy belly, and I convinced myself that that looked sexy, and that I should gain weight.  Secondly, my grandmother complimented me after I really began gaining weight, saying that she'd always thought that I'd been too skinny before, and that my rounder figure made me look "more mature", in a good way.

Guess what?  After I had gained a little MORE weight, I obviously weighed too much for HER tastes, because she began criticizing me (Ie: You ate TWO ice cream bars?").  I'm going to have to have a great deal of courage when I go to Grandmother's house for the holidays this year, and I'm going to have to hold both of my chins high, because I know that she IS going to say SOMETHING about my weight.  Oooh, dear!

I'm also going to have to convince a certain someone from my family to stop taking me to fast food places whenever we eat outside of the house, because, for one thing, I'm really starting to hate fast food, and, for another, it's just going to take me to the dreaded 120 lb. mark that my family is so afraid of.8)


Say what?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: jj on 11/10/12 at 7:55 pm

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with stupid people over your weight. It has become clear to me, that people have lost there humanity. I wonder how that person treats his own mother.
I am almost willing to bet that there parents are the same way. My mother taught me to respect my elders and other people. She also taught me not to take no sh$$ either.
I think that there should be laws against bulling, and they should in force those laws to the fullest. I have started speaking up for my self and other people.
Because if we keep letting these type of people get away with this stuff it will never change.
First off let me be the first to tell you, do not to be ashamed of your self, You are a child of God and i know he loves you just the way you are.
You will loose your weight in your on time and your own pace. And you never let anyone force you to do it any differently.
The next time some one does that to you. I want you to ask them, if they are going to pay your bills for you? When they say no, then tell them to mine there own f###$$$ business. You pay your own bills and you go to your own job and you have just as much of a right to be, what ever you want to be, as they do. At leased you are not a rude a-hole like them.
I have stop running around with blinders on, Look at the way they are treating Obama, And we all know it's because he is black.
I bet you are a fun person to hang out with, our body is our vessel that houses our soles. I have died three times in my life. My sole has left my vessel and returned.
We are all loving people. Unfortunately some of us got lost and was not taught how to tap into the love part of there soles. I grew up in Mississippi in the 60's & 70's, And i saw a lot of things that i knew in my sole was wrong, And i chose to rise above all that and became a man of my own.
Life is love and that is all it's about. So love your self first, And when you are ready the weight will fall off. Right now you have a job for God to do. 
We are not going to be judged by the amount of money or toys we have.
We are going to be judged for the amount of love and compassion we have for all living things.
Every time i see some one living on the streets, Or a dog that has been abused and underfed, I know that it is my place to do what ever i can. Because that could be me, but it is me because life is love.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: jj on 11/10/12 at 8:11 pm


I am an fat, black woman..... Much as the phrase pains me, I am morbidly obese.

I rarely hear people make fun of other people because they are of a certain race or gender. I mean, I guess you get the occasional 'because you're a woman' remark but really it's not so straight forward or in your face when it comes to your race or gender.  But people seem to have no problem jumping to the fat jokes and making comments as though you can't hear them.

I can count the number of times I felt I was treated inappropriately because I'm black on one hand.
I can't even think of a time I was blatantly chastised for being female
I can't begin to tell you how man times I have heard comments about my weight.


I was in line at an amusement park- last time I went because I refuse to go again until I lose weight. Two guys inline behind me decided to make sounds like the earth was shaking every time I took a step. It was humiliating and the whole time I wanted to turn and tell them off but I was with a friend and I couldn't tell if she was aware of it- I don't think she was- and I didn't want to go into the details with her so I just tried to ignore it but that was 10 yrs ago and it still hurts like it happened 5 minutes ago.

Once I was running to enter a store and some guy driving in another lane - let me preface this by saying he pulled out of a parking space  row away from me and and needed to go right to get out of the parking lot- instead he turned left, circled around and pulled up beside me so his friend could point and laugh 'Oh my god it can run'

Why is it okay to just make fun of people because they have oases they're struggling to deal with?  No one is fat by choice. If it were as simple as diet and exercise we'd all be skinny but there are a multitude of reasons for obesity (part of it is I like to eat and I hate to work out but also part of it is I ate to soothe pain I didn't want to address.

  Either way it shouldn't matter if a person is fat or not we still feel so why go out of your way to to be mean on that particular level.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm sick of fat jokes. It's not funny I don't care who you're talking about.  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MarkMc1990 on 11/12/12 at 4:49 pm

I'm actually trapped on the opposite side of the spectrum...for a man, I am extremely light and thin. One thing I've always wondered is why people think its okay to comment on my weight and say things like "holy sh!t you are soooo skinny! you have holocaust knees!" I always take it in stride, but I mean, you would never say to an overweight person "holy sh!t you are soooo fat! what do you eat!?". It just seems like a double standard, I guess?

People also immediately assume I starve myself or that I have an eating disorder. Now I'll admit I don't eat quite as much as the average person but I still feel my body type is genetically/biologically predetermined. I also can't help if I have a low appetite and forcing myself to eat more is easier said than done. I have tried exercising to build muscle, eating extra, but nothing helps. I'm still a toothpick.

Now I'm not saying being underweight is as "bad" as being overweight in society's eyes, but I do feel like it's a problem that gets ignored.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/12/12 at 5:31 pm


I'm actually trapped on the opposite side of the spectrum...for a man, I am extremely light and thin. One thing I've always wondered is why people think its okay to comment on my weight and say things like "holy sh!t you are soooo skinny! you have holocaust knees!" I always take it in stride, but I mean, you would never say to an overweight person "holy sh!t you are soooo fat! what do you eat!?". It just seems like a double standard, I guess?

People also immediately assume I starve myself or that I have an eating disorder. Now I'll admit I don't eat quite as much as the average person but I still feel my body type is genetically/biologically predetermined. I also can't help if I have a low appetite and forcing myself to eat more is easier said than done. I have tried exercising to build muscle, eating extra, but nothing helps. I'm still a toothpick.

Now I'm not saying being underweight is as "bad" as being overweight in society's eyes, but I do feel like it's a problem that gets ignored.


I hear ya. We have a cop who, for lack of a better phrase, is a bit scrawny. I'm pretty sure I could take him in a fight.  He gets it all the time. He's got a good attitude tho- sometimes personality and brawn outweigh size

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 11/12/12 at 6:59 pm


I'm actually trapped on the opposite side of the spectrum...for a man, I am extremely light and thin. One thing I've always wondered is why people think its okay to comment on my weight and say things like "holy sh!t you are soooo skinny! you have holocaust knees!" I always take it in stride, but I mean, you would never say to an overweight person "holy sh!t you are soooo fat! what do you eat!?". It just seems like a double standard, I guess?

People also immediately assume I starve myself or that I have an eating disorder. Now I'll admit I don't eat quite as much as the average person but I still feel my body type is genetically/biologically predetermined. I also can't help if I have a low appetite and forcing myself to eat more is easier said than done. I have tried exercising to build muscle, eating extra, but nothing helps. I'm still a toothpick.

Now I'm not saying being underweight is as "bad" as being overweight in society's eyes, but I do feel like it's a problem that gets ignored.


I think it would suck to be underweight.  Honestly.  My heart goes out to you.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 11/12/12 at 7:03 pm

Don't feel bad Mark. I don't know if it means anything, but I actually prefer the "skinny" guys over the other kinds.

I mean do you THINK I like MJ solely for the music? I mean I have to LOOK at him. He lived his life 40 pounds underweight for the average man his height. (at 5'10'', Michael as most was 125 pounds and at lightest 105 pounds in 1988.) Don't feel bad about your physique at all. It's the differences and people's perceived "imperfections" that make them beautiful. My now ex worshipped Prince was was just barely 100 pounds soaking wet trying to look like him. And I thought he was beautiful.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MarkMc1990 on 11/12/12 at 7:16 pm


Don't feel bad Mark. I don't know if it means anything, but I actually prefer the "skinny" guys over the other kinds.

I mean do you THINK I like MJ solely for the music? I mean I have to LOOK at him. He lived his life 40 pounds underweight for the average man his height. (at 5'10'', Michael as most was 125 pounds and at lightest 105 pounds in 1988.) Don't feel bad about your physique at all. It's the differences and people's perceived "imperfections" that make them beautiful. My now ex worshipped Prince was was just barely 100 pounds soaking wet trying to look like him. And I thought he was beautiful.


Wow, I had no idea MJ was ever that light! I'm about 5'9'' and weigh anywhere from 111-116ish range. My peak weight was like 121.

Thanks for the uplifting words!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 11/12/12 at 7:22 pm


Wow, I had no idea MJ was ever that light! I'm about 5'9'' and weigh anywhere from 111-116ish range. My peek weight was like 121.

Thanks for the uplifting words!


You're welcome Mark. and I meant every word.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 11/12/12 at 7:22 pm


You're welcome Mark. and I meant every word.  :)


You guys should hook up.  :D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/12/12 at 7:36 pm


You guys should hook up.  :D


Ignoring she did-ent.  ;D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 11/12/12 at 7:43 pm


Ignoring she did-ent.  ;D


Huh?

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 11/12/12 at 7:44 pm


Ignoring she did-ent.  ;D


I mean


HUH!?!


Ash

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/12/12 at 8:29 pm


Huh?


It's my stupid phone. It been selecting random words all day.

That was supposed to read oh no she did-ent. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MarkMc1990 on 11/12/12 at 8:30 pm

;D I'm sure apollonia1986 is a very lovely woman...but I happen to swing the other way ;)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/12/12 at 8:37 pm


;D I'm sure apollonia1986 is a very lovely woman...but I happen to swing the other way ;)


O0

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 11/12/12 at 8:56 pm

Alas, Mark and i can't be lovers.

But we can be friends which is just as nice.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Ashkicksass on 11/12/12 at 9:29 pm

Curses!  I thought for sure I'd made a match.  ;)

Well you are both lovely people. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Foo Bar on 11/13/12 at 1:38 am


Curses!  I thought for sure I'd made a match.  ;)

Well you are both lovely people.


That.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/ttt_promo/ent_isengard_big.jpg

But I thought this was about people who did ents.  (Damn you, autocorrect!!)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: belmont22 on 11/13/12 at 11:01 am

I'm overweight and I hate it when people point it out to me. It's like ... yeah, I know I'm fat you don't have to remind me.  >:(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 11/13/12 at 5:04 pm


I'm overweight and I hate it when people point it out to me. It's like ... yeah, I know I'm fat you don't have to remind me.  >:(

Next time someone does it, call them ugly. That'll shut them up quick. Or call them fat too. Most people pick on others because they're insecure about themselves in the idea of making themselves look better by putting down others.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: belmont22 on 11/22/12 at 6:31 am

I'm overweight myself by about 55 pounds (I'm six feet tall, and male, so I'm technically borderline obese, but nothing too horrible...) and I agree. People never call out on me for my weight really but it would anger and sadden me a lot and I'm sure I am judged for it in some way all the time. It's hard to lose those pounds, once you have them.  :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 11/22/12 at 7:28 pm

While I was stuck doing time in dialysis today, I happened to watch The New Ricki Lake show and they were taking about how there weren't enough fashions catering to plus sized women and now that the availability was becoming broader now that designers noticed a need for clothing.

But I learned early on when I was younger (5'4'' and when I was 260lbs) that some designers refused to make larger sizes because they didnt want that "type of woman" associated with thier image. I just know it was hard to find nicer clothes that were frumpy. Just because a lady is bigger doesnt mean that she has to look like a granny. That always pissed me off. And i was happy to see clothes for a larger woman. I'm now a solid size 12 (which is a triumph after being a size 26) but I have larger friends and I want them to fell beautiful and cute and sexy too, just like those thinner women.
It's just kind of tender to me because I was there at a time. (And sometimes I STILL have trouble finding clothing that fits properly)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 11/23/12 at 11:22 am


While I was stuck doing time in dialysis today, I happened to watch The New Ricki Lake show and they were taking about how there weren't enough fashions catering to plus sized women and now that the availability was becoming broader now that designers noticed a need for clothing.

But I learned early on when I was younger (5'4'' and when I was 260lbs) that some designers refused to make larger sizes because they didnt want that "type of woman" associated with thier image. I just know it was hard to find nicer clothes that were frumpy. Just because a lady is bigger doesnt mean that she has to look like a granny. That always pissed me off. And i was happy to see clothes for a larger woman. I'm now a solid size 12 (which is a triumph after being a size 26) but I have larger friends and I want them to fell beautiful and cute and sexy too, just like those thinner women.
It's just kind of tender to me because I was there at a time. (And sometimes I STILL have trouble finding clothing that fits properly)



I hear ya. I like shopping at a used clothing store. Every time I go in there, I look at the stuff they have in the front. I was able to find ONE sundress that fit. The woman who worked there, who possible could have been the owner, said that clothes in my size was in back. Every time I looked at the stuff in back, they were ALL frumpy. I may be getting old, but my style isn't like my mother's or my grandmother's.

And another rant, I am 5'2". I do like to wear sundresses in the summer and they ALWAYS make these things for people who are 6 feet tall!!! If I find them that I am not tripping on, they are usually above my knee (I like them below my knee). I just wish that people would make clothes that fit ME!!!!  And yeah, I COULD have some made-like last year, I bought material, patterns, thread, etc. and handed all over to my youngest step-daughter to make me a couple of dresses that she said she would do. I STILL haven't seen them and who knows when I will.  ::)



Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/23/12 at 12:40 pm



this should probably go in the Sound off/Rant thread but I'm already here so.......


It's thanksgiving... I don't care how much I've been working on my weight loss over the last 6-8 months...  Thanksgiving is a free day..... I will eat like a its the last meal I will ever have!!!

I had a lovely dinner with my friends and their friends but they were all skinny and my god...the amount of complaining the skinny bitches were doing because they were so stuffed... I mean one ate about 1/4 a plate of food... the others ate a plate and a half... I ate two plates and the whole time I was contemplating sneaking a third but these bitches were like "ooooh I ate toooo much.... kill me noooowwww.....ugh... I may never eat again....."  ::)  seriously?  You know how crappy that made me feel knowing they barely ate and I really just wanted to eat like - a whole lot more!  >:(    but I didn't...


I also walked 5 miles on Thursday (3 before dinner and 2 after) and I walked up (and down) 8 stories worth of stairs.  My scale only increased +1 from Thursday weigh in to Friday's weigh in.


Yeah I weigh myself every morning. I know you're not supposed to but I don't it in some freaky OMG I just gained a pound my life is over type ordeal...  no I do it to make sure my head is in tune with my body... I think about what I ate the day before and where I was that morning and I guess how much I think I weigh the next day.  I am usually spot on (give or take a half lb)  I thought I was going to be 3 lbs heavier today but I wasn't so O0!


Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 11/23/12 at 12:59 pm



this should probably go in the Sound off/Rant thread but I'm already here so.......


It's thanksgiving... I don't care how much I've been working on my weight loss over the last 6-8 months...  Thanksgiving is a free day..... I will eat like a its the last meal I will ever have!!!

I had a lovely dinner with my friends and their friends but they were all skinny and my god...the amount of complaining the skinny bitches were doing because they were so stuffed... I mean one ate about 1/4 a plate of food... the others ate a plate and a half... I ate two plates and the whole time I was contemplating sneaking a third but these bitches were like "ooooh I ate toooo much.... kill me noooowwww.....ugh... I may never eat again....."  ::)  seriously?  You know how crappy that made me feel knowing they barely ate and I really just wanted to eat like - a whole lot more!  >:(    but I didn't...


I also walked 5 miles on Thursday (3 before dinner and 2 after) and I walked up (and down) 8 stories worth of stairs.  My scale only increased +1 from Thursday weigh in to Friday's weigh in.


Yeah I weigh myself every morning. I know you're not supposed to but I don't it in some freaky OMG I just gained a pound my life is over type ordeal...  no I do it to make sure my head is in tune with my body... I think about what I ate the day before and where I was that morning and I guess how much I think I weigh the next day.  I am usually spot on (give or take a half lb)  I thought I was going to be 3 lbs heavier today but I wasn't so O0!



I, too feel like Thanksgiving is a free day. But the fact that you walked A LOT is GREAT! You did better than most. And believe you me, I know how it is like to pack it away. I have been accused of having hollow legs.

I weight myself everyday, too.  :-[ 


Cat

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/23/12 at 1:05 pm



I, too feel like Thanksgiving is a free day. But the fact that you walked A LOT is GREAT! You did better than most. And believe you me, I know how it is like to pack it away. I have been accused of having hollow legs.

I weight myself everyday, too.  :-[ 


Cat



if you're doing it for the right reasons and with the right mindset it's not a bad thing....but if you do it to beat yourself that's not healthy  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 11/24/12 at 6:21 pm



Some bastard in NJ ate $30 worth of food at an applebee's all by himself (according to news reports)


And then, in stead money, left the waitress a "tip" that read stop eating bitch

http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2012/11/edison_applebees_customer_stif.html



>:( >:( >:( >:( >:(




http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/nj1015.com/files/2012/11/applebees-300x287.jpg

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Dagwood on 11/24/12 at 6:23 pm

Wow.  What a jerk

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: warped on 11/24/12 at 6:37 pm



Some bastard in NJ ate $30 worth of food at an applebee's all by himself (according to news reports)


And then, in stead money, left the waitress a "tip" that read stop eating bitch

http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2012/11/edison_applebees_customer_stif.html



>:( >:( >:( >:( >:(




http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/nj1015.com/files/2012/11/applebees-300x287.jpg


Arrgh, that's so insensitive. What a scumbag. 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 2kidsami on 11/24/12 at 6:43 pm



Some bastard in NJ ate $30 worth of food at an applebee's all by himself (according to news reports)


And then, in stead money, left the waitress a "tip" that read stop eating bitch

http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2012/11/edison_applebees_customer_stif.html



>:( >:( >:( >:( >:(




http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/nj1015.com/files/2012/11/applebees-300x287.jpg
Customer was just an ass, I just am hoping with the "viral aspect" and picture of a credit card receipt and such... That the waitress does not get in trouble!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: 80sfan on 11/24/12 at 10:16 pm



Some bastard in NJ ate $30 worth of food at an applebee's all by himself (according to news reports)


And then, in stead money, left the waitress a "tip" that read stop eating bitch

http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2012/11/edison_applebees_customer_stif.html



>:( >:( >:( >:( >:(




http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/nj1015.com/files/2012/11/applebees-300x287.jpg
Wow, that's just plain mean. I hope he gets what he deserves one day!

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 11/24/12 at 11:41 pm



http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/nj1015.com/files/2012/11/applebees-300x287.jpg


http://www.businessinsider.com/image/4f0af9fc6bb3f7e768000058/lady-chinky-eyes-receipt.jpg

I'll give you television, I'll give you eyes of blue, I'll give you Papa Johns to rule the world!
:D :D :D

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 01/01/13 at 7:10 pm

Some people are butt-munches for sure.

The most I ever ate at one time was 40 dollars by myself at a ritzy seafood place for my friend's birthday. But in all respect, I had a top-shelf drink that was about 10 dollars. But no one was mad at me or making fun of me for eating it. I got a fried seafood plate with 2 sides and an extra side of risotto. Cause I like risotto. No one made me feel bad. And besides, it was my funking money.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: snozberries on 01/01/13 at 7:37 pm


Some people are butt-munches for sure.

The most I ever ate at one time was 40 dollars by myself at a ritzy seafood place for my friend's birthday. But in all respect, I had a top-shelf drink that was about 10 dollars. But no one was mad at me or making fun of me for eating it. I got a fried seafood plate with 2 sides and an extra side of risotto. Cause I like risotto. No one made me feel bad. And besides, it was my funking money.


fried seafood plate with two sides? (plus an extra side?) that sounds like a normal meal to me....  :-\\


you should see me go to town when Red Lobster has all you can eat fried shrimp... if they are making fun of me it's in the kitchen not to my face...and if they want their tip they'll keep it that way  ;)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 01/01/13 at 8:11 pm

Thanks Snoz.
And the two friends I was in the company of were pleasantly plump. All my friends are a variety of sizes. I don't discriminate. I'm not shallow like that. If you're kind to me and are friendly, I am kind to you. We're all equals. If you're mean to me then I'm a bitch from hell. But I'm nice in general.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 01/02/13 at 7:17 am


Thanks Snoz.
And the two friends I was in the company of were pleasantly plump. All my friends are a variety of sizes. I don't discriminate. I'm not shallow like that. If you're kind to me and are friendly, I am kind to you. We're all equals. If you're mean to me then I'm a bitch from hell. But I'm nice in general.


treat people the way you want to be treated.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: apollonia1986 on 01/02/13 at 3:54 pm

You know that was actually one of the rules they taught us in elementary school? I totally remember standing in kindergarten reciting that with the other kids.  :)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: valleyroads on 07/09/13 at 3:13 pm

I am overweight as well (largely because of edema and other psychiatric medication-related causes, I get remarks about it all the time, and several family members think I like to eat and always ask me if I've eaten at such-and-such restaurant when I eat to live, not live to eat. With a few exceptions and only a few retaurants here I like, food does not appeal to me, and if a pill diet with appetite suppressant is developed, I would definitely switch to it.

I was bullied severely as a teenager, one of the things they made fun of a lot was my weight, my dad even harassed me about it and called me "Fatty" and "Roll Boy" because of my weight, I had an aunt who liked grabbing my "love handles" even when I asked her to stop (I hate being touched). Being on lithium since I was 8, being briefly taken off it and then going back on it for a while has not only wrought havoc on my weight, but has caused pretty extensive damage to my kidneys, liver, central-nervous system, brain and body heat regulation, among other things.  :(

In short, discriminating/harassing because of weight is unacceptable.

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 07/09/13 at 8:21 pm


I am overweight as well (largely because of edema and other psychiatric medication-related causes, I get remarks about it all the time, and several family members think I like to eat and always ask me if I've eaten at such-and-such restaurant when I eat to live, not live to eat. With a few exceptions and only a few retaurants here I like, food does not appeal to me, and if a pill diet with appetite suppressant is developed, I would definitely switch to it.

I was bullied severely as a teenager, one of the things they made fun of a lot was my weight, my dad even harassed me about it and called me "Fatty" and "Roll Boy" because of my weight, I had an aunt who liked grabbing my "love handles" even when I asked her to stop (I hate being touched). Being on lithium since I was 8, being briefly taken off it and then going back on it for a while has not only wrought havoc on my weight, but has caused pretty extensive damage to my kidneys, liver, central-nervous system, brain and body heat regulation, among other things.  :(

In short, discriminating/harassing because of weight is unacceptable.


I bet it was hard for you to handle all those people bullying you? :(

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: valleyroads on 07/09/13 at 9:23 pm


I bet it was hard for you to handle all those people bullying you? :(

It was terrible. They wouldn't stop, and these bullies followed me into adulthood, tried to run me over with their truck, and try searching for me in a different car every time. They bullied me for other reasons too besides my weight, and telling them that I never wanted them in my life in the first place or calling the police doesn't work.  ::)

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: Howard on 07/10/13 at 8:12 am

What would you say to them now that they're older? ???

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: valleyroads on 07/10/13 at 8:37 am


What would you say to them now that they're older? ???

Same thing basically, trying to get them to leave me alone and that they are unwanted in my life.  :-\\

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: The Valley Goth on 08/08/13 at 6:56 pm

Like, Hi, Fer Shurr,

I feel badly for you, valleyroads! I haven't really known much about what it's like to be teased about weight-related issues until recently (My family is sometimes rough with me), but I grew up during a time when girls had to tow the social line...or else.  During the late 1980s/ early 1990s, you had to be a thin, cool, Guess jeans and L.A. Gear shoes-wearing little fashion doll, or else!  During the 1990s, I was given flack for having adopted those cool, 1980s eye shadow colors, so I reacted by slathering my eyelids in various shades of BROWN, from base to brow, so that my mother occasionally said that I looked as though I'd been crying.  I was literally BITTER when bright colors came back, because I'D been given nothing but a bad time about having liked them so many years before. 

I was the underweight medical patient as a kid, and I grew up during a time when "thin was in," and when two 10-year-old girls caught flack if they so much as held hands because they were friends (The late 1980s/ the early 1990s); you had to be a Guess-jeans-wearing, thin, wealthy girl back then, because to be a nerd, or poor, or fat...was just bad.  I also had a looks-obsessed aunt and grandma on one side, and they wanted every girl to be 100% fashionable...and BLONDE!

I was so influenced by animated Disney movies, my grandmother, my aunt, and other ideals that I actually starved myself during college (I got down to 77 pounds, and that was bad for a Cardiac patient, but that was during the Kate Moss era, and I'd watched sooo many movies about Anorexics that I'd decided long before to starve myself for the attention, anyway), in an effort to attract the attention of the guy whom I liked, and in an effort to starve any unconventional or confusing thoughts right out of my mind; I reasoned that if I was starving, I'd think only socially acceptable thoughts, but that method of self-punishment didn't work for me.  The entire starvation idea backfired, because I couldn't stop starving myself, my stomach shrank, etc., and I eventually missed out on a date with another really nice guy because I felt too sick to get ready for the date (I was too old-fashioned to ask him out later); in addition, I blamed myself for a stent surgery that I had to have.

I STILL don't have perfect eating habits, but, these days, I weigh 120 pounds, and that's bad for me!  I never had a double chin, or a big belly before, but the guys all seem to want me now, more than likely because my chest is also larger!

The same grandmother who is looks-obsessed used to applaud my weight gain, but the minute that she thought that I was too heavy, she began telling me to lose weight.

To think that I originally wanted to gain weight because all of the belly-baring women around town had larger bellies, and because I also wanted to simulate "the baby bump"; when you can't have kids, you do some insane things, and trying to look pregnant was one of the most insane things that I ever did.

I feel lucky to have survived my recent pacemaker replacement surgery, and I am so afraid that the guy who currently likes me will hate me if I lose any weight; when a woman looses weight, her boobs become smaller, too!  Oooh, dear!  My doctor doesn't want me to gain any more weight, and I'll have to have a Melody Valve implanted soon, too, but I like the sexy attention that I'm suddenly receiving!

Yesterday, I decided to try not eating again, in order to look more like a poor, starving girl for a play that I'm in, but the strategy of eating only one meal backfired; I'm not 20 anymore.  I feel much better today, after having eaten two meals so far.

I think that the only three statements that I can make about weight are: "Our culture certainly knows how to define attractiveness, especially among women, so that every imperfect image looks totally wrong!", "The act of finding your ideal, healthy weight is cool!", and "I just recently realized how prejudiced the plot of 'Jurassic Park' was to the villain, just because he was obese."
8)
 

Subject: Re: FatIsm....why do people think it's okay?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 08/08/13 at 7:20 pm


Like, Hi, Fer Shurr,

I feel badly for you, valleyroads! I haven't really known much about what it's like to be teased about weight-related issues until recently (My family is sometimes rough with me), but I grew up during a time when girls had to tow the social line...or else.  During the late 1980s/ early 1990s, you had to be a thin, cool, Guess jeans and L.A. Gear shoes-wearing little fashion doll, or else!  During the 1990s, I was given flack for having adopted those cool, 1980s eye shadow colors, so I reacted by slathering my eyelids in various shades of BROWN, from base to brow, so that my mother occasionally said that I looked as though I'd been crying.  I was literally BITTER when bright colors came back, because I'D been given nothing but a bad time about having liked them so many years before. 

I was the underweight medical patient as a kid, and I grew up during a time when "thin was in," and when two 10-year-old girls caught flack if they so much as held hands because they were friends (The late 1980s/ the early 1990s); you had to be a Guess-jeans-wearing, thin, wealthy girl back then, because to be a nerd, or poor, or fat...was just bad.  I also had a looks-obsessed aunt and grandma on one side, and they wanted every girl to be 100% fashionable...and BLONDE!

I was so influenced by animated Disney movies, my grandmother, my aunt, and other ideals that I actually starved myself during college (I got down to 77 pounds, and that was bad for a Cardiac patient, but that was during the Kate Moss era, and I'd watched sooo many movies about Anorexics that I'd decided long before to starve myself for the attention, anyway), in an effort to attract the attention of the guy whom I liked, and in an effort to starve any unconventional or confusing thoughts right out of my mind; I reasoned that if I was starving, I'd think only socially acceptable thoughts, but that method of self-punishment didn't work for me.  The entire starvation idea backfired, because I couldn't stop starving myself, my stomach shrank, etc., and I eventually missed out on a date with another really nice guy because I felt too sick to get ready for the date (I was too old-fashioned to ask him out later); in addition, I blamed myself for a stent surgery that I had to have.

I STILL don't have perfect eating habits, but, these days, I weigh 120 pounds, and that's bad for me!  I never had a double chin, or a big belly before, but the guys all seem to want me now, more than likely because my chest is also larger!

The same grandmother who is looks-obsessed used to applaud my weight gain, but the minute that she thought that I was too heavy, she began telling me to lose weight.

To think that I originally wanted to gain weight because all of the belly-baring women around town had larger bellies, and because I also wanted to simulate "the baby bump"; when you can't have kids, you do some insane things, and trying to look pregnant was one of the most insane things that I ever did.

I feel lucky to have survived my recent pacemaker replacement surgery, and I am so afraid that the guy who currently likes me will hate me if I lose any weight; when a woman looses weight, her boobs become smaller, too!  Oooh, dear!  My doctor doesn't want me to gain any more weight, and I'll have to have a Melody Valve implanted soon, too, but I like the sexy attention that I'm suddenly receiving!

Yesterday, I decided to try not eating again, in order to look more like a poor, starving girl for a play that I'm in, but the strategy of eating only one meal backfired; I'm not 20 anymore.  I feel much better today, after having eaten two meals so far.

I think that the only three statements that I can make about weight are: "Our culture certainly knows how to define attractiveness, especially among women, so that every imperfect image looks totally wrong!", "The act of finding your ideal, healthy weight is cool!", and "I just recently realized how prejudiced the plot of 'Jurassic Park' was to the villain, just because he was obese."
8)




I sort of was border line anorexic in my younger days. What "saved" me was my low-blood sugar. There was one day when I was in high school. I hadn't eaten anything all day. It was about 3 in the afternoon or so and I was with my boyfriend at the time & his mother. We were in a grocery store. The next thing I know, they are picking me up off the floor. It was the first time I had passed out in my life-but it wasn't the last. After passing out a few times, I got the hint and ate. To this day, I have "incidents" with my low-blood sugar. I start getting very shaky and I know I HAVE to eat.

If it wasn't for my low-blood sugar, I could have ended up with heart issues (since heart problems do run in my family). But, I probably don't eat as much as I should. But right now, my weight problems stem from hormone issues.  ::)



Cat

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