I did this topic years and years ago, bt I'm sure we've gotten many new members that didn't get to answer it.

What was he best advice you ever got from someone?

What is the best advice you can give to someone else?

What was he best advice you ever got from someone?


If you don't like a situation, leave it. If you cannot leave it, try to change it for the better. If you cannot change it, find a way to make peace with and accept it.


What is the best advice you can give to someone else?


People are going to come and go in your life. Some are going to appreciate you, and some are not. They don't define you. YOU define you.

I'm a natural worrier.  I used to worry about everything and everybody and what could hapen and blah blah blah...

Finally, I started working for an incredible woman named Jan Johnson.  And whenever I would start to worry, she would always say

"DON'T ANTICIPATE PAIN!"

She taught me to live in the now, and I will be forever grateful...

My dearest hubby, while we were still "just dating", gave me some advice that worked miracles in my life.  Well, he gave me lots of advice, but the two most effective ones for me were:


"Act as if" - I've always had a confidence problem, always second-guessing myself, never truly thinking I could do much of anything, ever.  He said to "Act as if" you already are doing something or are something.  It's a Jedi mind trick to make your body feel like, yeah this is nothing new to be afraid of... I'm already skilled at this...  I don't have to worry myself into a frenzy.  I got this.  ;D


My parents used to use me as a mediator (without them being in the same room together).  Each one would constantly complain, or be passive/aggressive towards the other, or be the self-rightous victim of the other's form of communication, and they would both constantly tell me about it.  I don't know what I was supposed to do.  It depressed me so much that I was thinking of escaping and not talking to either anymore.  If they couldn't be adults and take responsibility for their own actions or thought processes and not use me as a sounding board, if they are that unhappy with one another, they should just divorce and start new lives apart from one another.  My now-hubby showed me that I was not responsible to keep their marriage together, to keep their sanity at the cost of my own.  I have my own issues as an adult to deal with, don't really need to take on that for people that won't do it for themselves.

It was a hard lesson to untangle myself from, but ultimately probably saved me from having a heart attack/stroke at a young age.

My Mother always said "Be grateful for what you have because others don't".

People are going to come and go in your life. Some are going to appreciate you, and some are not. They don't define you. YOU define you.

really good advice Meesa. :)

I wasn't listening, so I missed it.
;)

Don't sell yourself short. :P

From my mother:

Learn how to take care of yourself.  While it is nice to have a spouse to help, it isn't guaranteed.  You don't want to be stuck in a bad relationship because you can't do it on your own.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  Best advice I ever received was not to offer advice if it's not asked for.  And at the time I received it, it wasn't... :P

  To add:  my best unsolicited advise - never ask Davester for advice where it concerns women... :P

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.


Wargames!  N-i-i-i-ce

never give up, always try.

I started working in, what would be my career, senior year of high school and my father gave me these gems.

"Anything that promises to do more than one thing never does any one thing well."

"Get up and get to work, even if you don't feel well. Getting up and getting there is the hardest part of the day,
the rest is a piece of cake."

"If you have to work hard at doing nothing you might as well do the job you're supposed to, it will be less tiring."

  Best advice I ever received was not to offer advice if it's not asked for.  And at the time I received it, it wasn't... :P

  To add:  my best unsolicited advise - never ask Davester for advice where it concerns women... :P


Davester!!  We've missed you!!

When I was told that Uncle Sam was going to discharge me because of my vision, the first question I asked was, "Can I fight it?" They were a bit taken back by the question and said yes. I was talking to a dear friend (who happened to have been my First Sargent) about it and he looked at me and said, "If I were you, I would take the money and run." I took his advice and was very glad I did.



Cat

"always live your life to the fullest".

Not so much of an advice, more like an eye opener...

While I was working for my former employer, at one point one of my co-workers and I had a fallout and she said something to me to the extend of "Why do you always act so arrogant?". I was shocked. I never would have described myself as being arrogant. But thinking about it, I realized that my attitude might have been easily interpreted that way. The fact of the matter was: I was in my early 20s, and highly insecure. I tried to hide it, but it still showed - and was totally misinterpreted.
From that moment on, I've always been aware of not coming across as arrogant.

And here's a message to all of you too: don't mistake insecurity for arrogance. ;)

"always know your gut feeling".

"always know your gut feeling".


Not just know it, but trust it as well.

Not just know it, but trust it as well.


I once read something called "Life's Little Instruction Book" (that was originally written as a gift from a father to his son) and it has some real gems in it:



Compliment three people everyday.

Have a dog.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

Remember other people`s birthdays.

Plant flowers every spring.

Own a great stereo system.

Be the first to say, “Hello”.

Live beneath your means.

Buy great books, even if you never read them.

Drive inexpensive cars, but own the best house you can afford.

Be forgiving of yourself and others.

Learn three clean jokes.

Wear polished shoes.

Floss your teeth.

Drink champagne for no reason at all.

Ask for a raise when you feel you`ve earned it.

Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yard.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Return all the things you borrow.

Teach some kind of class.

Be a student in some kind of class.

Never buy a house without a fireplace.

Once in your life own a convertible.

Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

Learn to identify the music of Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven.

Plant a tree on your birthday.

Donate two pints of blood every year.

Make new friends but cherish the old ones.

Keep secrets.

Take lots of snapshots.

Never refuse homemade brownies.

Don`t postpone joy.

Ask someone to pick your mail and daily paper when you`re out of town. Those are the first two things potential burglars look for.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.

Write “thank you” notes promptly.

Show respect for teachers.

Show respect for police officers and firefighters.

Show respect for military personnel.

Don`t waste time learning the “tricks of the trade.” Instead, learn the trade.

Keep a tight rein on your temper.

Buy vegetables from truck farmers who advertise with hand-lettered signs.

nice one Al

I guess the Desderata is of similar mind


Desiderata

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

 
The Invitation 
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and Author


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.


© 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire"
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A0

I once read something called "Life's Little Instruction Book" (that was originally written as a gift from a father to his son) and it has some real gems in it:



Compliment three people everyday.

Have a dog.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

Remember other people`s birthdays.

Plant flowers every spring.

Own a great stereo system.

Be the first to say, “Hello”.

Live beneath your means.

Buy great books, even if you never read them.

Drive inexpensive cars, but own the best house you can afford.

Be forgiving of yourself and others.

Learn three clean jokes.

Wear polished shoes.

Floss your teeth.

Drink champagne for no reason at all.

Ask for a raise when you feel you`ve earned it.

Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yard.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Return all the things you borrow.

Teach some kind of class.

Be a student in some kind of class.

Never buy a house without a fireplace.

Once in your life own a convertible.

Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

Learn to identify the music of Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven.

Plant a tree on your birthday.

Donate two pints of blood every year.

Make new friends but cherish the old ones.

Keep secrets.

Take lots of snapshots.

Never refuse homemade brownies.

Don`t postpone joy.

Ask someone to pick your mail and daily paper when you`re out of town. Those are the first two things potential burglars look for.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.

Write “thank you” notes promptly.

Show respect for teachers.

Show respect for police officers and firefighters.

Show respect for military personnel.

Don`t waste time learning the “tricks of the trade.” Instead, learn the trade.

Keep a tight rein on your temper.

Buy vegetables from truck farmers who advertise with hand-lettered signs.


very nice Al.

 
The Invitation 
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and Author


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.


© 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire"
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A0


Thank you, for this.

So basically what everyone is saying:

"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” ― William W. Purkey

If you can't eat it or f**k it, piss on it.
8)

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

If you can't eat it or f**k it, piss on it.
8)


yeah baby



Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.


so true

When they say ten
They mean eight
They'll take six
It's worth four
So offer them two

If you can't eat it or f**k it, piss on it.
8)


that's advice?  ;D

"don't give a **it of what others think of you, dress the way you want".

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."  (Sidney Freedman)

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."  (Sidney Freedman)



;D ;D ;D


Gotta love Sidney (whose name was originally Milton BTW).



Cat

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."  (Sidney Freedman)


;D

"always chew with your mouth closed".

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."  (Sidney Freedman)


Karma to you!

Don't give advice unless you are asked and then give it with disclaimers absolving you from blame for its consequences!
8)

Never turn down free food.



Cat

Don't mouth off to the cops.
8)

Never turn down free food.



Cat


that's good advice.

"always be aware of your surroundings".

"always be aware of your surroundings".


Alrightie Howard, let's stick with the basics!


Don't get run over!
8)

Fark 'em if they can't take a joke.
  - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.

Alrightie Howard, let's stick with the basics!


Don't get run over!
8)


especially by a wayward shopping cart!

Fark 'em if they can't take a joke.
  - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.


Joke 'em if they can't take a fark!
:D

Alrightie Howard, let's stick with the basics!


Don't get run over!
8)


Yes I already know that!

Joke 'em if they can't take a fark!
:D



Hey, I always say that.



Cat

especially by a wayward shopping cart!



right, you don't want that to happen.

Dope will get you through times of no money
better than money will get you through times of no dope.

-- Fat Freddy

"don't be such a pig".