inthe00s
The Pop Culture Information Society...

These are the messages that have been posted on inthe00s over the past few years.

Check out the messageboard archive index for a complete list of topic areas.

This archive is periodically refreshed with the latest messages from the current messageboard.




Check for new replies or respond here...

Subject: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: meesa on 03/16/13 at 8:00 pm

When someone apologizes for something, does it really help, or make it worse?

I have accidentally offend people now and then because I speak without thinking-and then when that happens I feel so horribly bad for it because I can feel/see that they were hurt or offended.

What do you think? What is the best way to handle hurting/offending someone? Do you appreciate an apology or is it even worse to receive one after something happens?

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 03/16/13 at 8:51 pm

I appreciate when people apologizes to me.

I have the happen of apologizing for just about EVERYTHING without realizing it. Last year, we were down in D.C. taking care of my dad (the last time I saw him  :\'( :\'( :\'( ). He was yelling at me to "STOP APOLOGIZING!" My response, "I'm sorry."  :-\\



Cat

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: loki 13 on 03/16/13 at 9:30 pm

I look at it like this. The apologizer is showing feeling and sympathy. An apology shows you are just being yourself
and not being malicious. The offended party should see the humble act as a peace offering because to apologize is
to admit being wrong which isn't easy to do. If the offended party doesn't accept an apology they are shallow and
self absorbed.

The only time an apology loses it's validity is when the same person is constantly offended in the same manner.
You can only kick someone in the shin once and say I'm sorry, after the tenth time they know you don't mean it.

however, there are times when one should neither offer nor accept an apology. If you truely believe in what you
say or do then an apology is allowing someone to change your views.

Apologize when you know you're wrong, stand by your convictions when you think you're right and don't worry
about anyone else. Those who accept you for who you are will know the difference, those who don't aren't needed
anyway.


Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: ladybug316 on 03/16/13 at 11:26 pm

It depends on what you've done and if you're truly sorry. Don't apologize for speaking things you feel are the truth and only say sorry to save face. Words cannot be unsaid, so assume that someone does not have to forgive you even though you've apologized.  I do agree with Loki that you can't commit the same infraction and assume an apology will have the same effect. 

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: snozberries on 03/17/13 at 1:04 am


It depends on what you've done and if you're truly sorry. Don't apologize for speaking things you feel are the truth and only say sorry to save face. Words cannot be unsaid, so assume that someone does not have to forgive you even though you've apologized.  I do agree with Loki that you can't commit the same infraction and assume an apology will have the same effect.


^this

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/17/13 at 5:55 am


It depends on what you've done and if you're truly sorry. Don't apologize for speaking things you feel are the truth and only say sorry to save face. Words cannot be unsaid, so assume that someone does not have to forgive you even though you've apologized.  I do agree with Loki that you can't commit the same infraction and assume an apology will have the same effect.



exactly.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/17/13 at 5:56 am

apologize only if you mean it, don't just apologize for the fun of it, you have to be sincere and honest about it

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: snozberries on 03/17/13 at 9:47 am


apologize only if you mean it, don't just apologize for the fun of it, you have to be sincere and honest about it


Remember what you've apologized for so you don t do it again.... :D

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Don Carlos on 03/17/13 at 10:01 am

Love is never having to say you're sorry












Sorry 'bout that

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Goodogbadog on 03/17/13 at 10:59 am


When someone apologizes for something, does it really help, or make it worse?

I have accidentally offend people now and then because I speak without thinking-and then when that happens I feel so horribly bad for it because I can feel/see that they were hurt or offended.

What do you think? What is the best way to handle hurting/offending someone? Do you appreciate an apology or is it even worse to receive one after something happens?


Yes, I absolutely appreciate an apology. And I offer apologies, although sometimes it's hard to admit I've offended someone by accident. Or by unconsciously being "pastor-aggressive" (thank you Mr. Smart)  But when you apologize, make sure you really make it clear that it's an apology and be specific. Don't say something like. "It's too bad that stuff happened the other day." That doesn't sound like you really care!!
I think it's great that you asked that question here to get feedback. I absolutely HATE screwing up, being wrong, etc  8-P  But, hey, I'm human.  :\'(  So I'll try to make up for offending people  :-X  even when I'd rather pretend I didn't.  :-[  Hey, maybe I can use up all the emoticons!  :P 

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: ladybug316 on 03/17/13 at 11:13 am


Love is never having to say you're sorry











Sorry 'bout that



I know this is a famous quote, but it is absolute bullsheesh.  You should ESPECIALLY apologize to the ones you love lest they resent you.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: snozberries on 03/17/13 at 1:00 pm



I know this is a famous quote, but it is absolute bullsheesh.  You should ESPECIALLY apologize to the ones you love lest they resent you.


That line has always bugged me. She basically gave him permission to shyt all over her....  >:(

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: ladybug316 on 03/17/13 at 6:33 pm

Yep, just like I said, it's some kind of bullsheesh!

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Dagwood on 03/17/13 at 6:47 pm

I don't know what movie you guys are talking about but I agree.  Love means being able to say you are sorry when you truly are. 

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: CatwomanofV on 03/17/13 at 6:55 pm


I don't know what movie you guys are talking about but I agree.  Love means being able to say you are sorry when you truly are.



Love Story.



Cat

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Dagwood on 03/17/13 at 7:02 pm

Thanks, Cat.  Never seen the movie. 

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/17/13 at 7:39 pm


Remember what you've apologized for so you don t do it again.... :D


I'm sorry!  :D

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/17/13 at 7:40 pm



I know this is a famous quote, but it is absolute bullsheesh.  You should ESPECIALLY apologize to the ones you love lest they resent you.


But whom?  ???

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: snozberries on 03/17/13 at 9:25 pm


Thanks, Cat.  Never seen the movie.


It's convoluted crap- don't bother  :D

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 03/17/13 at 11:43 pm

I had a friend/housemate who used to say he was sorry and then pull exactly the same sh*t the next week.  Then give me the old S.E.G. and say he was sorry. 

I used to get soooooooo mad at him!
http://images.zaazu.com/img/pain-pain-ache-headache-smiley-emoticon-000336-large.gif

Fifteen years later, I'm sure of one thing...if we rekindled our friendship, he would be an a complete and total a-hole to me...and then say he was sorry!  He still lives around here.  I see him from time to time.  I'm like, "Wow, that's Ronnie.  Nobody's caved in his skull with a crowbar and dragged his body behind a pick-up down I-91 yet!"

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/18/13 at 6:39 am

So why can't girls apologize for breaking us guys's hearts? ???

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Dagwood on 03/18/13 at 7:14 am


So why can't girls apologize for breaking us guys's hearts? ???


Probably for the same reason guys don't apologize for breaking girls hearts.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: warped on 03/18/13 at 7:40 am


Probably for the same reason guys don't apologize for breaking girls hearts.


O0  That's right.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Don Carlos on 03/18/13 at 9:39 am

It was a JOKE people

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: meesa on 03/18/13 at 10:52 am

thank you all for your kind replies. I have tried to reign in my opinionated tongue, as it usually gets me in trouble- and I have gotten much better.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: 80sfan on 03/18/13 at 11:06 am

Depends on how bad the thing you did or said was.

If you said things impulsively and didn't think then it could be you didn't think about the other person at all. Are you sure you're as selfless as you think you are? On the other hand, some people are a$$holes themselves and look for flaws in what others do and say just because they're snotty enough.

Anyways, don't mind me, I've said things before and I'm imperfect also. But don't let your past weigh you down.

-Peace-

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: warped on 03/18/13 at 11:53 am


thank you all for your kind replies. I have tried to reign in my opinionated tongue, as it usually gets me in trouble- and I have gotten much better.


Actualy, I think you are one of the wisest people on inthe00s. You seem to always say the right thing. If anything, I can learn from you  :)

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: ladybug316 on 03/18/13 at 4:56 pm


It was a JOKE people


Relax, we got your joke.  We obviously took issue with the quote (which was not meant as a joke at all in the movie).

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/18/13 at 7:42 pm


Probably for the same reason guys don't apologize for breaking girls hearts.


some guys would call the girl up and apologize but I'd rather have it as a face to face confrontation.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Goodogbadog on 03/21/13 at 1:20 am


some guys would call the girl up and apologize but I'd rather have it as a face to face confrontation.


Face to face is MUCH more respectful. After all, if you were close enough to KISS, or something, then you should have the courage to talk face to face!  BUT it's very scary for some guys, I think. And maybe he knows he is going to get yelled at, or she is going to cry and he is going to feel horrible and have to comfort her and she'll be crying all over his shoulder, begging "Please, please!"  when all he really wanted was to get as far away from her as possible and never see her again.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 03/21/13 at 7:20 am


Face to face is MUCH more respectful. After all, if you were close enough to KISS, or something, then you should have the courage to talk face to face!  BUT it's very scary for some guys, I think. And maybe he knows he is going to get yelled at, or she is going to cry and he is going to feel horrible and have to comfort her and she'll be crying all over his shoulder, begging "Please, please!"  when all he really wanted was to get as far away from her as possible and never see her again.


and the worst apology is by e-mail when that person doesn't have the cojones to do a face to face meeting.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: nally on 06/16/13 at 5:53 pm


It depends on what you've done and if you're truly sorry. Don't apologize for speaking things you feel are the truth and only say sorry to save face. Words cannot be unsaid, so assume that someone does not have to forgive you even though you've apologized.  I do agree with Loki that you can't commit the same infraction and assume an apology will have the same effect.

This I can agree with.

I often feel the need to apologize to someone when I feel I've said or done something to upset them... and most times it works and they forgive me.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 06/17/13 at 12:38 am

Not when you're saying sorry to a total dick!
::)

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 06/17/13 at 6:56 am

apologies do help when you posted something that was offensive but you try to be sincere about it and it doesn't seem to help much.  :-\\

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: snozberries on 06/17/13 at 10:01 am


apologies do help when you posted something that was offensive but you try to be sincere about it and it doesn't seem to help much.  :-\\



apologies are hard to be seen as sincere when the apology is given by someone who does something he promised (many times) that he would never do again.  >:(

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 06/17/13 at 7:46 pm



apologies are hard to be seen as sincere when the apology is given by someone who does something he promised (many times) that he would never do again.  >:(


would karma help?

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Tashlovglit on 06/17/13 at 8:01 pm


would karma help?

My guess is no...

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 06/17/13 at 8:21 pm


My guess is no...


Sorry, ok then.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Foo Bar on 06/17/13 at 8:54 pm


Not when you're saying sorry to a total dick!
::)


Sure they do.  Every time I say "I'm sorry you're a total dick" to some total dick, I feel great!

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: MaxwellSmart on 06/17/13 at 9:33 pm


Sure they do.  Every time I say "I'm sorry you're a total dick" to some total dick, I feel great!


http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1335547807009_5631747.png

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: 80sfan on 06/17/13 at 10:02 pm


would karma help?


Yes.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: snozberries on 06/17/13 at 10:45 pm


My guess is no...


Good guess.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Howard on 06/18/13 at 7:31 am


Sure they do.  Every time I say "I'm sorry you're a total dick" to some total dick, I feel great!


after that, I would just walk away laughing.

Subject: Re: Apologies...do they help?

Written By: Foo Bar on 06/19/13 at 11:44 pm


after that, I would just walk away laughing.


At which point whoever I was insulting would get a high-5 and respect knuckles for being a good sport.  Win-win situation!

Check for new replies or respond here...