I have two brothers, one is 43 years old, the other is 31.

I told my family that I wanted to move out....now. The 31 year old said that it's hard to find a job without a college degree. Is this true? Should I believe him?

Here's why I have a hard time believing him. He's arrogant. It's hard to believe someone when they're a bit too full of themselves and smug. Too forward? I've done worse.

Another reason I have to not believe him is that he's a contrarian. If you say white, he says black. If you say woman, he says man. If you say tall, he says short. If you say open, he says shut.

He's extremely smart, but he's also manipulative and tries to get you to do what he wants, which is extremely passive aggressive. His contrary ways also doesn't give me a good impression. 

Any 'job', 'school', or 'life' experts or coaches out there? Is he right? The problem is that I can't trust him. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I'd say definately finish school to have an advantage. If you need a break from it, by all means take one. Yes, you can find something without a degree. Even with one it can be difficult depending what it is you're going for. How much competition you have or openings. I don't know what kind of work you're looking for at all to say. Factories can pay alright to get by on, but alot of them these days are temp. Plus hours are long. My advice would be going to a job placement service. Try different places out and I really hope for the best!

It depends on what kind of work you plan to do... if you want to do manual labor or retail you don't need a degree... it always looks good on an application but you don't need it.

If you want to go into banking they will look more favorably at a college degree

If you want to be a dr or a lawyer you, obviously, need a degree.


It doesn't matter what your brother says..... but you should have a job before you move out...  you will need to pay a deposit and security deposit.... you will need to pay rent... and in, some cases, you will need to pay utilities.  Unless you are independently wealthy or the state is paying for it you will need to show some form of income to secure a place to live on your own....


Unless you find someone looking for a roommate who doesn't do a background check... I don't know if you should live with another human being tho... I think you might need some space to yourself.... so long as you stay on your meds and have a job so you maintain human interaction on a daily basis  ;)

I forgot to clarify that his um 'proudness' makes him extremely bias when talking about almost anything. Plus, he's known for switching sides when in an argument, so that he can 'win.'

That's what happens when you don't communicate well to/with people, people lose their trust in what you say. The value of what you says goes down.

I'd say definately finish school to have an advantage. If you need a break from it, by all means take one. Yes, you can find something without a degree. Even with one it can be difficult depending what it is you're going for. How much competition you have or openings. I don't know what kind of work you're looking for at all to say. Factories can pay alright to get by on, but alot of them these days are temp. Plus hours are long. My advice would be going to a job placement service. Try different places out and I really hope for the best!


Karma for the advice.

It depends on what kind of work you plan to do... if you want to do manual labor or retail you don't need a degree... it always looks good on an application but you don't need it.

If you want to go into banking they will look more favorably at a college degree

If you want to be a dr or a lawyer you, obviously, need a degree.


It doesn't matter what your brother says..... but you should have a job before you move out...  you will need to pay a deposit and security deposit.... you will need to pay rent... and in, some cases, you will need to pay utilities.  Unless you are independently wealthy or the state is paying for it you will need to show some form of income to secure a place to live on your own....


Unless you find someone looking for a roommate who doesn't do a background check... I don't know if you should live with another human being tho... I think you might need some space to yourself.... so long as you stay on your meds and have a job so you maintain human interaction on a daily basis  ;)


Since I want to go into psychology, I think it's best I get a degree. A bachelor's at least.

My brother suggested to me that I get at least a Associates degree and then move out. I could make more $$$ than with just a high school.

Turns out he's right, based on what you all are saying, and my minor research online. It's the way he says it that makes it hard for me to believe him. He's very antagonistic and contrary. He's also never straight forward enough for me to believe him, it comes off manipulative.

Finding a job with or without a degree is hard. There are jobs out there that don't require degrees-most of those are low paying jobs-fast food, retail, etc. I have heard stories about people with degrees who can't find a job. What cracks me up is when an employer won't hire someone because they are "over-qualified."  ::)  Yeah, McDonalds doesn't want people flipping their burgers who hold PhDs. Because these educated types might try to start a union or something.  ::)


Sorry. I'm in one of my moods today.

As for your dilemma, it is really up to you. You would be better off with a degree but putting that on hold for a while can't hurt. But, don't do what I did. I withdrew (from grad school) with the intent of going back but that never happened.  :-[  So, I never did get my M.A. I know it is not too late but it just isn't important anymore.


Cat

I was thinking of still living with my parents until I got my Masters. But this was before I knew how extreme the situation is.

I say live with them until I get a Bachelor's, but no more. If I could I would bolt out the door....now. But it's not practical if I want a job in psychology.

I think an extra 2-3 years of a Masters isn't a good idea anymore, in fact, thinking back, it was a horrid and misguided idea.

I have heard stories about people with degrees who can't find a job. What cracks me up is when an employer won't hire someone because they are "over-qualified."  ::)  Yeah, McDonalds doesn't want people flipping their burgers who hold PhDs. Because these educated types might try to start a union or something.  ::)


Sorry. I'm in one of my moods today.



Cat



I don't remember if I told this story before but when I first started dispatching I needed to make more money because SB is expensive and I didn't want to live... I worked 40hrs a week at 17$ an hour.    I found a job that would give me an additional 10-20 hrs a week at 8$ an hour.. that was perfect.. it was sorting invoices for a map company.. I could make my own hours and do work where I didn't have to talk to the public (exactly what I wanted)

I interviewed with partner number one... it went great! he was ready to hire me but I had to interview with partner number two. . .  she was an idiot!

Her:  Why do you want this job?
Me: I need to supplement the income from my current job and I like the flexible scheduling you offer since my shifts rotate every quarter.
Her: you make 17$ per hour
Me: I know but, as you know, living in Santa Barbara is quite expensive and I fall a little short every month. I feel this job would be an excellent fit for me and a great solution to my cash flow issue (or something like that)
Her: I can't pay you 17$  per hour
Me: I know. I saw the job is at $8 an hour and I'm happy taking that pay rate to supplement the income from my current full time job
Her: I just can't pay you 17$
Me: I'm not asking you to...
Her: 17$ is too high
Me: No really just pay me 8$ and I will be fine.


She never got it and I never got the job.... 

Since I want to go into psychology, I think it's best I get a degree. A bachelor's at least.

My brother suggested to me that I get at least a Associates degree and then move out. I could make more $$$ than with just a high school.

Turns out he's right, based on what you all are saying, and my minor research online. It's the way he says it that makes it hard for me to believe him. He's very antagonistic and contrary. He's also never straight forward enough for me to believe him, it comes off manipulative.



Psychologists require at least a Masters Degree

http://study.com/articles/Psychologist_Educational_Requirements.html

Same for Psychotherapists
http://study.com/articles/Psychotherapist_Job_Description_and_Requirements_for_Becoming_a_Psychotherapist.html

Social Worker's can start with a BA


If you want to be a Marriage and Family counselor you can check out the state requirements for licensing here
http://www.mft-license.com/#licenserequirements



Hope that helps

I was thinking of still living with my parents until I got my Masters. But this was before I knew how extreme the situation is.

I say live with them until I get a Bachelor's, but no more. If I could I would bolt out the door....now. But it's not practical if I want a job in psychology.

I think an extra 2-3 years of a Masters isn't a good idea anymore, in fact, thinking back, it was a horrid and misguided idea.



are you able to get a loan for school? One that allows you to live in campus housing while you work towards your degree/s???

Psychologists require at least a Masters Degree

http://study.com/articles/Psychologist_Educational_Requirements.html

Same for Psychotherapists
http://study.com/articles/Psychotherapist_Job_Description_and_Requirements_for_Becoming_a_Psychotherapist.html

Social Worker's can start with a BA


If you want to be a Marriage and Family counselor you can check out the state requirements for licensing here
http://www.mft-license.com/#licenserequirements



Hope that helps


Thank you!

are you able to get a loan for school? One that allows you to live in campus housing while you work towards your degree/s???


I do get loans but I'm not sure if I get the kind you're talking about. I think ONE of the best ideas for me is to now get an Associates then move out. Then get my bachelor's while I'm living on my own. These are great ideas Snoz.  ;D

I only have a semester or two of credits until I have an associates. If I can get a loan for a campus housing, I would do that. But the idea of moving out after my Associates isn't a bad idea either.

I do get loans but I'm not sure if I get the kind you're talking about. I think ONE of the best ideas for me is to now get an Associates then move out. Then get my bachelor's while I'm living on my own. These are great ideas Snoz.  ;D


good luck to you!


while you're at the Community College make sure to check that you complete the undergrad work for the college or university you want to attend...    I don't know if it works this way in your state but in California we have private universites, state colleges (CSU) and state universities (UC)... when I went to Jr College I didn't know if I wanted to transfer to a UC or a CSU... I decided on a UC but the undergrad work I did met the CSU requirements so I had to take a few extra classes to meet the graduation requirements.

I only have a semester or two of credits until I have an associates. If I can get a loan for a campus housing, I would do that. But the idea of moving out after my Associates isn't a bad idea either.


ha ha I either hadn't read this yet or you posted it as I was writing my last post  ;D


if you are that close to finishing you should def finish up! 

that's 6 months of pain...

also... consider getting  a job at a university... some schools offer discounted tuition to employees.

Or... try and get a job as an RA (a resident assistant) they provide you housing... or give you housing at a cheap rate....and you get paid.

Best yet... I don't know about all universities but this one that I work at has University Owned Apartments.... a job as a Resident Coordinator (it's like a dorm RA but better because you don't have to listen to freshman whine about being away from home)  and you get your own apartment which means no shared bathrooms!!!

Work study may also be a possibility.

After you get your B.A. when you go on to your M.A. you should look into getting a T.A. (Teaching Assistant) position.



Cat

ha ha I either hadn't read this yet or you posted it as I was writing my last post  ;D


if you are that close to finishing you should def finish up! 

that's 6 months of pain...

also... consider getting  a job at a university... some schools offer discounted tuition to employees.

Or... try and get a job as an RA (a resident assistant) they provide you housing... or give you housing at a cheap rate....and you get paid.

Best yet... I don't know about all universities but this one that I work at has University Owned Apartments.... a job as a Resident Coordinator (it's like a dorm RA but better because you don't have to listen to freshman whine about being away from home)  and you get your own apartment which means no shared bathrooms!!!


For Snoz. I have 40 credits done, thank God!! That means 20 credits left. That's about 2 semesters!! Hallelujah!!

Wow, that's some family karma I have. I must have been a real ignorant and narcissistic bunghole in one of my past lives. If I was the way most of my family members were, I feel sorry for the kid I was a jerk to. I probably was also an enabler.

I don't believe in coincidences, I believe all this is karmic. I just hope I get a waaaaay better family in my next life! Better role models too.

Work study may also be a possibility.

After you get your B.A. when you go on to your M.A. you should look into getting a T.A. (Teaching Assistant) position.



Cat


Thank you for your suggestions! You Snoz, and everybody else here, have helped me better than any sibling or family member ever will (yes, that was a not so subtle diss).

I would like to thank you everybody who responded to this thread!!

Thank you for your suggestions! You Snoz, and everybody else here, have helped me better than any sibling or family member ever will (yes, that was a not so subtle diss).

I would like to thank you everybody who responded to this thread!!



you're welcome... I hope things work out for you

Thank you for your suggestions! You Snoz, and everybody else here, have helped me better than any sibling or family member ever will (yes, that was a not so subtle diss).

I would like to thank you everybody who responded to this thread!!



Doncha know that this message board is sort of like a family. At least that is the way I think of it.



Cat

Doncha know that this message board is sort of like a family. At least that is the way I think of it.



Cat


Partridge or Adam's family??  :D

Partridge or Adam's family??  :D



Addams of course. We're creepy and we're kooky.  :D :D :D :D



Cat

Addams of course. We're creepy and we're kooky.  :D :D :D :D



Cat


and mysteriously ooky. ;D

and mysteriously ooky. ;D


naw...that one is just you!!!  ;D

That's it! I'm looking up ooky in the dictionary!  >:(  >:(  :)  :)

My older brother, who is 43 years old, saw the uneasy mental condition I had online, and gave me a huge/big hug, and told me that I will always be a part of the family, in his mind. He said to call him or go to his condo if I ever needed to chat or just for breathing room away from the parents!  :)  :)

I felt cared for/loved for the first time, in a long time.

I read my astrological chart, for fun. I don't really believe in astrology, but turns out I am a Pisces rising. That would explain why I'm sensitive and emotionally need someone to understand me.....deeply. It also explains why I lack emotional boundaries and can sympathize, even with the devil.

http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae7/allsignsnetwork/signs4half/pisces5.png

My older brother, who is 43 years old, saw the uneasy mental condition I had online, and gave me a huge/big hug, and told me that I will always be a part of the family, in his mind. He said to call him or go to his condo if I ever needed to chat or just for breathing room away from the parents!  :) :)

I felt cared for/loved for the first time, in a long time.






That's awesome.

That's awesome.


The ironic thing? He was the rebellious one out of all four kids. The troublemaker. Life is too cray-zyy sometimes.

My sister is pretty nice, she's the domestic one. But when she's tough, she's tough. In a good way though.

I honestly do think that my other brother, the confusing one who I don't trust completely, means well, but just because someone means well, doesn't mean they can't hurt you.

My older brother, who is 43 years old, saw the uneasy mental condition I had online, and gave me a huge/big hug, and told me that I will always be a part of the family, in his mind. He said to call him or go to his condo if I ever needed to chat or just for breathing room away from the parents!  :)  :)

I felt cared for/loved for the first time, in a long time.

I read my astrological chart, for fun. I don't really believe in astrology, but turns out I am a Pisces rising. That would explain why I'm sensitive and emotionally need someone to understand me.....deeply. It also explains why I lack emotional boundaries and can sympathize, even with the devil.

http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae7/allsignsnetwork/signs4half/pisces5.png

It's good you've got some supportive relatives! I'd say turn to the oldest more than the one you were talking to.

I read astrology for fun too. It's too broad to really take seriously and you can identify with anything you read if you think up some instance in your life. What I don't understand is terminology like Mercury in retrograde and things like that. What's that supposed to mean?  :o

It's good you've got some supportive relatives! I'd say turn to the oldest more than the one you were talking to.

I read astrology for fun too. It's too broad to really take seriously and you can identify with anything you read if you think up some instance in your life. What I don't understand is terminology like Mercury in retrograde and things like that. What's that supposed to mean? :o


Communications, and things such as plumbing, electricity, driving, cars, get awry when Mercury is in retrograde. If you have it in your own chart, it can make it hard for you to speak or communicate clearly, or express yourself. The person may also not think clearly because Mercury is related to the mind. Mercury also rules siblings, and your hands.

My older brother, who is 43 years old, saw the uneasy mental condition I had online, and gave me a huge/big hug, and told me that I will always be a part of the family, in his mind. He said to call him or go to his condo if I ever needed to chat or just for breathing room away from the parents!  :)  :)

I felt cared for/loved for the first time, in a long time.

I read my astrological chart, for fun. I don't really believe in astrology, but turns out I am a Pisces rising. That would explain why I'm sensitive and emotionally need someone to understand me.....deeply. It also explains why I lack emotional boundaries and can sympathize, even with the devil.

http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae7/allsignsnetwork/signs4half/pisces5.png



It is good that you can go to your brother. If I were you, I would. I am assuming your brother has been where you are now. He may be able to give you some insight that you didn't know. Not only can it help you with your situation, but it will improve your relationship with your brother-which is a VERY good thing. To me, it sounds like a win-win situation.



Cat

My older brother, who is 43 years old, saw the uneasy mental condition I had online, and gave me a huge/big hug, and told me that I will always be a part of the family, in his mind. He said to call him or go to his condo if I ever needed to chat or just for breathing room away from the parents!  :)  :)

I felt cared for/loved for the first time, in a long time.

I read my astrological chart, for fun. I don't really believe in astrology, but turns out I am a Pisces rising. That would explain why I'm sensitive and emotionally need someone to understand me.....deeply. It also explains why I lack emotional boundaries and can sympathize, even with the devil.

http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae7/allsignsnetwork/signs4half/pisces5.png


At least you have some support.

And BTW I'm a Pisces as well. :)

At least you have some support.

And BTW I'm a Pisces as well. :)


Thanks Howard.

I, myself am not a Pisces. I'm actually a Sagittarius, half man-half horse, but my rising sign, or ascendant sign is Pisces.