Last night, I dreamed I was suspended from school for 2 years.  :o I was sitting in the detention room, and I'd really had to go.  So, I secretly escaped from the prison to find a bathroom, but there was no bathroom in sight.  So I escaped the school and went down a winding highway to the nearest restaurant so I can do my business.  After that, I went through the cemetery and back to school just to get caught by the principal.  He automatically expelled me for 2 years, and I refused.

How you like it?

;D Nice.


I had a few really good ones.. I won't go into details {and no, it's not that way, you creepy bastards}, but it made me feel good.

I didn't have any dreams last night.

Me neither, but my dreams are usually reall f*ked up. Like, they include people I know in places I know, and normal things happen, but then, it goes all messed up and wierd sh*t happens. Happens every time I dream. Never had a nightmare before (as long as memory serves, anyways)  :)

Like the time that I was evidently kissed by a bunch of young girls?  They looked a lot like the one I had on my avater a few weeks ago.

I've had 2 nightmares in my life... 3 if you count the extremely morbid screaming locust dream I had {though it didn't scare me}.

In one, I was killed 19 times, each as a different person.. everything from a 4-year old girl to a 97-year old man... all were murders, suicides, or accidents.. all painful.

I've had 2 nightmares in my life... 3 if you count the extremely morbid screaming locust dream I had {though it didn't scare me}.

In one, I was killed 19 times, each as a different person.. everything from a 4-year old girl to a 97-year old man... all were murders, suicides, or accidents.. all painful.


Sweet jesus... and I thought my dreams were f*ked up...  :o

I've had my very first wet dream 7 years ago.

I've had my very first wet dream 7 years ago.


Cha... you know what? I'm not gonna go there.

I didn't have any dreams last night.


That can't be true! Everybody dreams every night, didn't you know that? Problem is, you just don't remember them all the time.

I've read or heard somewhere that in fact it is highly unlikely that anyone can remember a dream when waking up, because of the lapse of time between the actual dreaming and waking up. Don't ask me what it is then that we remember when waking up... :-\\
And it's not my theory, anyway. I like to think I can remember my dreams when waking up, especially the nice ones.

As for me: I don't recall having any dreams lately.

I think I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I can't recall or remember any of my dreams...

Yes, I'm sure I have 'em, but as soon as my eyes open...gone...!

I've had 2 nightmares in my life... 3 if you count the extremely morbid screaming locust dream I had {though it didn't scare me}.

In one, I was killed 19 times, each as a different person.. everything from a 4-year old girl to a 97-year old man... all were murders, suicides, or accidents.. all painful.


:oGod! Now I'm talkin' really scary!  Those traffic light dreams are nothing compared to this one!

Sweet jesus... and I thought my dreams were f*ked up...  :o


Sometimes it still bothers me, that feeling.. I can still remember being taken, beaten, tortured, and killed as a little girl.. that was the worst of them. Especially because I was taken directly from the arms of the woman I'm assuming was my mother in the dream.

Sometimes it still bothers me, that feeling.. I can still remember being taken, beaten, tortured, and killed as a little girl.. that was the worst of them. Especially because I was taken directly from the arms of the woman I'm assuming was my mother in the dream.


No the wonder you're depressed a lot if you're having dreams like that  :o
Christ, maybe you should seek help about those...  :-\\

That can't be true! Everybody dreams every night, didn't you know that? Problem is, you just don't remember them all the time.

I've read or heard somewhere that in fact it is highly unlikely that anyone can remember a dream when waking up, because of the lapse of time between the actual dreaming and waking up. Don't ask me what it is then that we remember when waking up... :-\\
And it's not my theory, anyway. I like to think I can remember my dreams when waking up, especially the nice ones.

As for me: I don't recall having any dreams lately.


I'm telling you FD,I didn't but I'm trying to dream of Robin but I just can't seem to keep relaxed in bed by myself.

I'm telling you FD,I didn't but I'm trying to dream of Robin but I just can't seem to keep relaxed in bed by myself.


You can't control your dreams.. although they say try hard NOT to think of the person actually makes you have more dreams about them.

You can't control your dreams.. although they say try hard NOT to think of the person actually makes you have more dreams about them.


Why is that Apricot? ???

I think I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I can't recall or remember any of my dreams...

Yes, I'm sure I have 'em, but as soon as my eyes open...gone...!


Maybe that's a blessing in disguise.... ???

Why is that I can't dream of Robin walking through my door? ???

I'm telling you FD,I didn't but I'm trying to dream of Robin but I just can't seem to keep relaxed in bed by myself.


Well, I wouldn't worry about it. Having no dreams is always better than having nightmares...
And what exactly do you mean when you say you can't seem to keep relaxed in bed by yourself, or shouldn't I be asking?  :-\\

Well, I wouldn't worry about it. Having no dreams is always better than having nightmares...
And what exactly do you mean when you say you can't seem to keep relaxed in bed by yourself, or shouldn't I be asking?  :-\\



I'm always tossing and turning in bed trying to get a nice relaxed position then I can keep focused on my dream.

Why is that I can't dream of Robin walking through my door? ???


Trying to control your dreams is only gonna make them not happen.. there's no point to what you're doing; it's actually hurting your chances of dreaming about her, dude. Just don't think about it.. it'll come.

Trying to control your dreams is only gonna make them not happen.. there's no point to what you're doing; it's actually hurting your chances of dreaming about her, dude. Just don't think about it.. it'll come.



Ok,I'll try not to.Thanks. :)

I'm always tossing and turning in bed trying to get a nice relaxed position then I can keep focused on my dream.


I've heard (there we go again - second hand information!) that it is a good thing to spent half an hour or so before going to bed doing nothing. In any case: do not watch tv the last half hour or so. It will keep your head busy instead of making you sleepy.
I try to live by this rule and it's working for me.

I've heard (there we go again - second hand information!) that it is a good thing to spent half an hour or so before going to bed doing nothing. In any case: do not watch tv the last half hour or so. It will keep your head busy instead of making you sleepy.
I try to live by this rule and it's working for me.



Maybe I watch too much TV.

Maybe I watch too much TV.


Either that, or you spend too much time on Inthe00s. ;)

Either that, or you spend too much time on Inthe00s. ;)



No,that's not it.Maybe it's watching too many pornos. :o

No,that's not it.Maybe it's watching too many pornos. :o


Why, Howard! - I would NEVER have guessed.... :o

Why, Howard! - I would NEVER have guessed.... :o



Ok,I confess. ;D

Last night... a dream..

I was wearing a pink tuxedo and carrying a sword almost as big as me.. walking through sunny hills and farmland. I approached a farm.. and approached a man standing at the farm.

I said "Where am I?"
He said "Where does one go?"
I said "My cancer is of the soul, sir."
He said "Son... these people you speak of... Justin, Beth, Meghan... they are all dead. They have been dead for 5 months."

O'er that's a bit spooky. I'm glad this thread is here as I didn't realise it existed.

Now I can say my dreams when I have a decent one, sometimes they get v-e-r-y odd and weird which can be  quite fun.

I had a dream last night that I had a baby girl...she was so beautiful, and she was always smiling at me.  It made me feel very warm when I awoke.




Erin :)

I usually forget my dreams within five minutes of having them.  I have this Dream Machine CD player/radio which I can turn on and program to turn off in 90 minutes.  Last night I fell asleep to Weezer, either at the end of "Surf Wax America" or the beginning of "Say It Ain't So".

I usually forget my dreams within five minutes of having them.  I have this Dream Machine CD player/radio which I can turn on and program to turn off in 90 minutes.  Last night I fell asleep to Weezer, either at the end of "Surf Wax America" or the beginning of "Say It Ain't So".


you need some cannibal corpse, it will stop you from falling asleep like that

I bet I'd be up all night listening to your death metal, Jiminy!  ;)

I've fallen asleep to oldies, soft rock, classic rock (including some heavy metal), punk rock, geek rock (Weezer), and popular music. 

I wouldn't be surprised if I did.  I'm always tired, even if I got ten hours of sleep last night.

Let's see...  Last night I remember dreaming that Christina Aguilera was half naked dancing around a cafe and I kept trying to push her out...  I bought a coke and sat down and a rude lady asked me if I was going to drink it.  I said yes, and she looked indignant and said something like, "Well, it didn't look like you were going to drink it."  I remember somebody wanted to kill me and he was hiding somewhere around the cafe.  I woke up before I got a sip of my coke.

The rest is blurry.  I remember going to a movie in that dream... 

Let's see...

Last night's dream was almost like a real-life situation. (I won't go into detail) It was very bizzare due to the fact. The only thing was, I woke up just as it was getting interesting (much like every other good dream I've had) Maybe it will continue where it left off tonight?  ??? :D

And the night before I had a dream where I was being constantly stung by a bee (boring, I know)

:o - Is my life that uneventful that I have to put up with such square dreams?  :-\\

I had a dream that we all met up in Vegas for the get together we've been talking about.  The weird thing was that we weren't talking to each other.  We were all sitting in a room together with laptops posting to each other. ;D

I dreamt... about something... don't remember. I hate that! >:(

I dreamt... about something... don't remember. I hate that! >:(


Isn't weird how you remember when you first wake up, but then like an hour later you can't remember?

It used to be that I didn't remember any of my dreams.  I just started remembering them about a month ago.  Weird!

Theres always the occasional dream that's so vivid that I will always remember it. Those ones are generally at the end, before waking up and only occur when I wake up on my own (not by an alarm)

Every other dream I forget.


For a bit of fun, check out: www.dreammoods.com for some rather interesting information on dreams.

Isn't weird how you remember when you first wake up, but then like an hour later you can't remember?

It used to be that I didn't remember any of my dreams.  I just started remembering them about a month ago.  Weird!



I actually don't remember at first but as I pour my cereal or make breakfast, I just start to remember. Sometimes I remember really long dreams, and sometimes i don't remember a thing...

I had and still have a recurring nightmare. I am on the roof of a building and i have to shoot a short chinese man. But i miss him and somebody comes and stabs me with a needle and then everything goes black.

If i look through the archives i can find some as well.

Probably my scariest one was when i kinda.. accidentally took a certian.. 'substance'. I was laying in my bed, and this was happening, but i was in a semi-dream world, and i thought if the door closed i would die. I kept throwing things at the door trying to stop it closing.. then i remember some awful monsters were in the room.. and this was so real to me. I honestly thought i was going to die. Then i kept slipping between the light world and the dark world. The same images in both, but in the light world they were nice and in the dark world they were evil.

That was.. awful because as i say, it was SO real. In my mind, i was fully aware of what was going on and in a strange sense i was kind of acceptant of the fact that i was going to die (or at least i thought so at the time).

I had nightmares all last night. It sucked because the last one scared the holy hell out of me. Let's just say that I saw how the US would end up if things keep going the way they are. The worst part though was seeing my son's face (as if on a picture) looking out in terror and pain like he was the only one left. God, that scared me so bad that I woke up crying.

I had nightmares all last night. It sucked because the last one scared the holy hell out of me. Let's just say that I saw how the US would end up if things keep going the way they are. The worst part though was seeing my son's face (as if on a picture) looking out in terror and pain like he was the only one left. God, that scared me so bad that I woke up crying.


Oh I hate dreams like that.  The other day I had a dream that my daughter had drown in the pool.  In my dream I was screaming for my sister to come help me.  Turns out I was actually screaming my sisters name out loud which ended up waking me up.

I had a dream when I was four years old (ten years ago) that was very realistic to me.  I dreamed that I woke up and I was in my room (everything looked exactly like my room) and all these monkeys were everywhere.  I finally ran to the door, only to be ambushed by a monkey hiding in the hamper.  I woke up (this time for real) and ran to my parents and woke them up and told them there were monkeys in my room.  We did a short inspection, only to find no monkeys.  But I did move the hamper away from the door and to this day, I still check the room for monkeys every night before I go to bed.   ;D

I had and still have a recurring nightmare. I am on the roof of a building and i have to shoot a short chinese man. But i miss him and somebody comes and stabs me with a needle and then everything goes black.

If i look through the archives i can find some as well.

Probably my scariest one was when i kinda.. accidentally took a certian.. 'substance'. I was laying in my bed, and this was happening, but i was in a semi-dream world, and i thought if the door closed i would die. I kept throwing things at the door trying to stop it closing.. then i remember some awful monsters were in the room.. and this was so real to me. I honestly thought i was going to die. Then i kept slipping between the light world and the dark world. The same images in both, but in the light world they were nice and in the dark world they were evil.

That was.. awful because as i say, it was SO real. In my mind, i was fully aware of what was going on and in a strange sense i was kind of acceptant of the fact that i was going to die (or at least i thought so at the time).



The first dream means you feel that you have to "get them before they get you" but in your dream, that doesn't work.

The second one means that you were/are having an inner battle between good and evil.




Cat

I had nightmares all last night. It sucked because the last one scared the holy hell out of me. Let's just say that I saw how the US would end up if things keep going the way they are. The worst part though was seeing my son's face (as if on a picture) looking out in terror and pain like he was the only one left. God, that scared me so bad that I woke up crying.



This one is easy. It just means that you fear what is going to happen in the future.




Cat

Do I have monkeys in my future?  :o

The first dream means you feel that you have to "get them before they get you" but in your dream, that doesn't work.

The second one means that you were/are having an inner battle between good and evil.


Hmmm..

what could i possibly do to stop the first one?

Hmmm..

what could i possibly do to stop the first one?



Good question. Not too sure. But, like I said, it seems to be a outlook. I know it is not easy to change your outlook. Though I could be totally wrong with my interpretation.




Cat

I think I am destined to overcome my fear of monkeys so I can be a monkey trainer at a zoo/circus.  I can't believe it didn't occur to me before. 

Good question. Not too sure. But, like I said, it seems to be a outlook. I know it is not easy to change your outlook. Though I could be totally wrong with my interpretation.



Shockingly.. you are fairly correct (i don't mean that to be insulting, but i usually wouldn't buy in to this kinda thing) however. I don't trust people and tend to be wary of what they'll do in the future. As such, i avoid them doing what they could do in the future. Bleak outlook eh  ;D

I frequently tend to have dreams that i am 'intimate' with people i know in real life but wouldn't ever think of like that...  i really hate it because then when i see these people (in real life) i feel really awkward...

and when i say intimate, i don't mean actually doing "the deed"...  i wake up before it could ever get that far

Go Odyssey!  Haha, just kidding, I have the same kind of dreams, but I also always wake up before anything happens.

Go Odyssey!  Haha, just kidding, I have the same kind of dreams, but I also always wake up before anything happens.


I have the same kind of dreams on occasion, but I don't wake up before anything happens. :-\\

I frequently tend to have dreams that i am 'intimate' with people i know in real life but wouldn't ever think of like that...  i really hate it because then when i see these people (in real life) i feel really awkward...

and when i say intimate, i don't mean actually doing "the deed"...  i wake up before it could ever get that far



This is another common dream. Sometimes those dreams can be sexual even though the meaning is usually NOT sexual. Usually, it means that there is a common bond between you-whether you are friends or just share something.




Cat

I bet Howard has a hole in the center of his laptop  :D


Why would I have a hole? ::)

Why would I have a hole? ::)


To put something in it. ;D

To put something in it. ;D

Maybe that's what he made it with.  ;)

Maybe that's what he made it with.   ;)


hehehe  Guess I could have explained better. :P

hehehe  Guess I could have explained better. :P



For the umpteenth time there is no hole.

For the umpteenth time there is no hole.

Well, I'm sure THAT statement came out of a hole.  ::)

I don't remeber.

This one is easy. It just means that you fear what is going to happen in the future.




Cat


Don't we all? ;D

Let's just say it involved myself, Tony Stewart, and Dale Earnhardt Jr.....and the Trojan Man!!

Any more details and I'd be kicked off this board....

Last night i got to sleep at about 2 and woke up at about 5 by an awful dream.

I can still even now remember it clearly.

It didn't really make much sense but everything was very dark, not just in a literal sense. I know there were beasts of some sort.. i couldn't even begin to say what they were and i remember i was trying to get somewhere and couldn't. Anyway, there was somebody else and they died, i wasn't able to do anything because of whatever was holding me back.

*cough*issues*cough* ;D

I'll just say it wasn't G-rated

Last night i got to sleep at about 2 and woke up at about 5 by an awful dream.

I can still even now remember it clearly.

It didn't really make much sense but everything was very dark, not just in a literal sense. I know there were beasts of some sort.. i couldn't even begin to say what they were and i remember i was trying to get somewhere and couldn't. Anyway, there was somebody else and they died, i wasn't able to do anything because of whatever was holding me back.

*cough*issues*cough* ;D



Do you need me to inturpret or can you figure this one out for yourself?




Cat

Do you need me to inturpret or can you figure this one out for yourself?




Cat


Go for it, i know your itching to.

All I remember about my dream last night is that Justin was in it, and a really big creepy-looking house. That's all.



Beth

Last night i got to sleep at about 2 and woke up at about 5 by an awful dream.

I can still even now remember it clearly.

It didn't really make much sense but everything was very dark, not just in a literal sense. I know there were beasts of some sort.. i couldn't even begin to say what they were and i remember i was trying to get somewhere and couldn't. Anyway, there was somebody else and they died, i wasn't able to do anything because of whatever was holding me back.

*cough*issues*cough* ;D




Go for it, i know your itching to.




It means that someone or something is holding you back-or you just feel that way. Someone who just died means that there is something that had just ended. Like I have said before, I can be more specific because I really don't know what is going on in your life right now.





Cat

Me neither, but my dreams are usually reall f*ked up. Like, they include people I know in places I know, and normal things happen, but then, it goes all messed up and wierd sh*t happens. Happens every time I dream. Never had a nightmare before (as long as memory serves, anyways)  :)


Kinda like 90 % of my dreams. Rarely ever have one that makes use of my libido(thank god!), but I don't need that type of dream anyway, it's too cruel when I wake(none of those dreams made any sense either).

It means that someone or something is holding you back-or you just feel that way. Someone who just died means that there is something that had just ended. Like I have said before, I can be more specific because I really don't know what is going on in your life right now.


Well.. your kinda on the right track. I think i know what is causing it, Not something i particularly want to share though  ;)

More, something that could end in the future than something that has already ended.

I had a dream.. my hair was longer.. I was in a suit. It might not even have been me.. didn't sound like me.. didn't look much like me... taller.. thinner.. but it was in a sparcely-decorated version of my home. And I saw through his perspective after one sweeping view of both people. Some woman was asleep on the sofa.. did I mention this is all in black and white? Anyway... She woke up after a few minutes, I'd been sitting in the chair next to the sofa. Before she was too awake, I picked her up and carried her upstairs.. she didn't have enough clarity yet to say anything.. I don't know how she didn't wake up more.. she made a few sounds, but didn't stir. She finally woke up when we got upstairs.. and I drowned her. Just dropped her in a bathtub full of cold water and held her under. There was an emotion of anger, mixed with some regret. Nothing intense, just a sort of mix of apathy and rage.. I kept very calm. Once she stopped struggling and moving, I took the body back down the stairs and laid it on the ground. I took all the wet clothes off of it and wrapped it in a blue blanket resembling the one we buried our last pet in. I said to the wrapped body "Pure Defiling. This is what had to happen."I woke up before anything could happen more..  I remember waking up feeling strangely happy, almost energetic.

Okay, I can't remember much of last night's dream...

I remember taking a bath with Weird Al Yankovic.  That was just wrong.

I also remember this girl coming up to me and saying hi, and I was going to answer her when suddenly a bunch of food was in my mouth, and I was trying to chew it and swallow it, but there was so much, and I finally got it down and managed a barely audible "hi", but she just sheepishly smiled and left.

Okay, I can't remember much of last night's dream...

I remember taking a bath with Weird Al Yankovic.  That was just wrong.

I also remember this girl coming up to me and saying hi, and I was going to answer her when suddenly a bunch of food was in my mouth, and I was trying to chew it and swallow it, but there was so much, and I finally got it down and managed a barely audible "hi", but she just sheepishly smiled and left.


That's kind of gross. ;) ;D

Okay, I can't remember much of last night's dream...

I remember taking a bath with Weird Al Yankovic.  That was just wrong.




Wow..that's..something I wouldn't...wanna admit.  :o



Beth

"Wow..that's..something I wouldn't...wanna admit."

We went all the way to Albuquerque, baby!  :D

"Wow..that's..something I wouldn't...wanna admit."

We went all the way to Albuquerque, baby!   :D




<No comment>

Where the pillows are oh so FLUFFY!

Seriously, have you listened to Albuquerque by Weird Al Yankovic?

Where the pillows are oh so FLUFFY!

Seriously, have you listened to Albuquerque by Weird Al Yankovic?




No. Should I?


Beth

WOKKA WOKKA DOODOO YEAH!

If you don't, I'll tie you to the wall and stick a funnel in your mouth and force feed you nothing but sauerkraut until you are twenty six and a half!

WOKKA WOKKA DOODOO YEAH!

If you don't, I'll tie you to the wall and stick a funnel in your mouth and force feed you nothing but sauerkraut until you are twenty six and a half!



<Quickly dashes over to Illegally download "Albuquerque">



Beth

I'll post the lyrics for you so you won't die of suspense...

Albuquerque by Weird Al Yankovic

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin'
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"NO, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up old universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Yeah, it's a long song...  It is eleven minutes long.  ::)

I'll post the lyrics for you so you won't die of suspense...

Albuquerque by Weird Al Yankovic

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin'
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"NO, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up old universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque






Well isn't that just....lengthy


Beth

And the majority of the song is spoken with music in the background.  He sings here and there occasionally though, like "AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalbuQUERQUE!"  It is the last song on the album "Running With Scissors".

I dreamt about riding.. something or other, i can't remember. It was very odd, it changed from fast to slow frequently.

Okay, this is what I can remember from my dream last night...

My brother:  Marshal, look at this thing on Runescape!

Me:  Okay, but you know I don't care about that stuff.

My brother:  Look, a drop party!

Me:  So?

My brother:  Wanna see if you can pick some of the stuff up?

Me:  I guess.

I click around on these things that look like gift wrapped boxes and eventually I am doing this in real life instead of with the computer.  I am also now accompanied by Quagmire from Family Guy.  I search for more boxes...

Quagmire:  Let's go in that room over there!  Bet there are some hot chicks there!  Giggity giggity giggity!

Me:  Okay.

I walk into the room and discover a bunch of thorns and vines with female voices.  I see a box at the end of the room but I have to get past all the speaking bramble.

Vines:  What you are looking for is in this room, but you must be careful getting to it, as well as coming back.

Quagmire:  Aw, man...

I eventually make my way to whatever it is that I'm supposed to get...

Me:  Hey, Quagmire, wanna chat up some of these thorny chicks?  I bet they're just dying to talk to you!

Quagmire:  Uh...no thanks.

Suddenly, my uncle, who acts in plays occasionally, shows up in exaggerated garb, appearing to be some kind of mobster.  I am suddenly aware that I am in a play and I try to improvise while my uncle wonders why I'm not following the script and tries to play along.

Me:  Uh...did you take care of...the..."business"?

My uncle:  Er, yeah.

Me:  Oh, then, uh, let's go over here for a second...

I looked towards the exit and the thorny obstacles had made their way to the sides of the room.  We both hurried out of the room and my uncle got in front of me and started hurrying out of whatever building we were in while I followed him.  We weren't running, but we were walking quickly.  We were still improvising even though no one else was looking.

Me:  What, are you trying to get away from me?  What is it?

My uncle:  Look at that number on the wall!

I looked at a poster that had a number which I cannot remember now.  It was captioned, "Metabolism".

Me:  But you have great metabolism!

We got to the exit.  Suddenly I realized that I wasn't a fellow mobster, but that I was a detective of some sort chasing this criminal.  I still was aware that this was all a play, yet we both went along with everything anyway even though there was no audience besides random people on the street staring at us in disbelief as we ran everywhere, nearly getting hit by cars.

Me:  I'll catch you and solve this case!

We ran around the building where two boys in their late teens, dressed in black, were standing around snickering.  My pastor, a nice and friendly guy, came out with a wildman look on his face.  We all stopped and stared at him.

My pastor:  What's wrong with you people!?  Look at these outfits you brought to the play!  Nothing but jeans and t-shirts!  That's all!  T-shirts and jeans!  Nothing else!  Look at it!  I'm disgusted with you people!  Don't you know anything about plays?  Now it will be ruined!  If you don't agree with me, you are gay and you are going to die!

The two teenagers snickered.

My pastor:  And you're going to die too if you don't watch it!

They suddenly stopped snickering and looked a little surprised.

My pastor:  In the meantime, watch this video.

I never see him put the video in, neither do I see a TV, but suddenly I hear soft sounding music and see a bunch of famous statues and monuments, but when it gets to the Great Sphinx, the Sphinx's head is replaced with that of a smiling bearded man.

Then I wake up.

Marshall.. why don't you sit down on this nice comfy couch and tell Dr. Rock all about it..

'Nurse, fetch the Horse Tranquiliser'

Well, doc, it all started when I was about seven years old...  You see, while all--  HEY!  What's that big needle thing you've got in your hand!?  Get off of me!  Get off--  (falls on the floor, unconscious)

YWN,

How I read your dream-the first part is that you are looking for something but you may not be too sure what you are looking for (the gift boxes) but there are obsticles you must face to find it (the vines). The part when you discover that you are in a play means that you find yourself in a situation that you are unprepared for but you try to wing it (improv) but after you try to do it one way, you realize that you have it all wrong so you have to adjust for it. The last part means that there may be someone who you look up to (the pastor) thinks that the way you handled things-even though you were caught off-guard and tried to wing it-was not the way to do it.



Cat

Hmmm...interesting.

I only recall the last part of what I dreamed Thursday night; I found two nearly naked prostitutes in the den waking everybody up, and I was telling them to stop it when I heard my dad coming downstairs.  I tried to hide them, and my dad told me to go to my room (he thought there were burglars in the house), so I reluctantly obeyed.  I paced around in my room for a while, got into my bed, closed my eyes, and woke up.

Hmmm...interesting.

I only recall the last part of what I dreamed Thursday night; I found two nearly naked prostitutes in the den waking everybody up, and I was telling them to stop it when I heard my dad coming downstairs.  I tried to hide them, and my dad told me to go to my room (he thought there were burglars in the house), so I reluctantly obeyed.  I paced around in my room for a while, got into my bed, closed my eyes, and woke up.



I see this as a conflict. I am assuming that you wanted to stay with the prostitues. You want to do what you are "supposed" to do (go to your room like your dad told you to) and doing something that you WANT to do.




Cat

For some reason, I thought I was going to be in trouble if my dad found the prostitutes, so I was trying to get them out of the house, but they wouldn't listen to me.  They kept giggling and making noise, and I didn't want them to wake everyone up.  I didn't really enjoy their company; they were a burden to me.

Lately my dreams are about drowning or falling.

In the falling down dream, people were all around me and not one of them would help me up.

Lately my dreams are about drowning or falling.

In the falling down dream, people were all around me and not one of them would help me up.





This one is pretty obvious. I'm sure you can figure out what that means.




Cat

This one is pretty obvious. I'm sure you can figure out what that means.




Cat


yep, my emotions are smothering me and there is no support around.

I had a dream that my sister broke my glasses, and I was searching for another pair, but I couldn't find any that were anything close to what I wanted. I stumbled upon a pair of them...but they were very expensive!  Suddenly, the owner of the shop, takes out a pair and slips them to me and says, "These are for you".




Erin :)

For some reason, I thought I was going to be in trouble if my dad found the prostitutes, so I was trying to get them out of the house, but they wouldn't listen to me.  They kept giggling and making noise, and I didn't want them to wake everyone up.  I didn't really enjoy their company; they were a burden to me.


So you didn't dream about bringing tables to a wrestling ring?  ;D

I had a dream that my sister broke my glasses, and I was searching for another pair, but I couldn't find any that were anything close to what I wanted. I stumbled upon a pair of them...but they were very expensive!  Suddenly, the owner of the shop, takes out a pair and slips them to me and says, "These are for you".




Erin :)



This means that there will be a setback (glasses brake) but it will turn out ok in the end.




Cat

This means that there will be a setback (glasses brake) but it will turn out ok in the end.




Cat



thanks Cat! :)



Erin :)

Last night I dreamt a dragonfly was attacking my throat.  ??? I think it has to do with my sisters sudden obsession with them. It was so horrible I actually felt it sticking to my neck. GAH.

Last night I dreamed that I was driving my dad's old van, the one that got totaled during Hurricane Ivan... 

When I woke up, I had discovered that I had knocked down four pillows (queen size bed), and the clock on the desk next to me.  I must have been pretty active...

When I woke up, I had discovered that I had knocked down four pillows (queen size bed), and the clock on the desk next to me.  I must have been pretty active...


I was busy last night as well. I found all the pillows around the room, i not only pulled the top sheet all the way out from under the mattress but got three corners of the bottom sheet up, plus one of the pillow was out of the slip and i had managed to knock the remote control and my wallet and keys off the bed side table. I think it was because i wasn't in my bed so i thrashed around  ???

I think I was awake too much to dream last night...

I can't remember, but it couldn't have been that interesting...

...I slept through most of it!

Last night I dreamt that I was a member of a rock band and while performing a concert, I fell off the stage  ;D

I can't remember, but it couldn't have been that interesting...

I don't often remember mine, either...

I guess 'daydreams' are more the thing for me... ;D

I guess 'daydreams' are more the thing for me... ;D


Hmmm...!

Funnily enough, my bosses seem to think I do a lot of that in work time!

Hmmm...!

Hmmm hmmm!  ;D ;)

Funnily enough, my bosses seem to think I do a lot of that in work time!


Well...is it true?

I daydreamed my way through 5 years of High School  ;D

Well...is it true?


Well, they always seem to mutter to themselves, 'What's that dreamer doing now?!!'

Well, they always seem to mutter to themselves, 'What's that dreamer doing now?!!'


Okay, but you still haven't answered the original question...

Okay, but you still haven't answered the original question...


Whoa! The third degree!

Okay, yes it's true...

(...and if you knew how tediously tedious my job is, you'd know why!)

Whoa! The third degree!

Would I give you the third degree?!!  ;D

Okay, yes it's true...

(...and if you knew how tediously tedious my job is, you'd know why!)


There ya go...

And no need to justify it, either!  :) ;)

I wanted to dream of Robin in lingerie but I just couldn't get that dream going.I was too wound up from all that kissing Her And I did in her car yesterday. ;D

FRANKFURTER!


No she didn't think about my big frankfurter. ;D

Ok, last night I dreamt that I was driving in the country, there was nothing but empty fields around, but in one of the fields there was a bright, shiny, silver escalator going up to nowhere.  :-\\  I thought maybe it meant someone was dying and going to heaven. Then, I got a call a little while ago that my brother in laws mother is in the hospital and is in very bad shape. She may not make it through the next day or two.  :( 

Ok, last night I dreamt that I was driving in the country, there was nothing but empty fields around, but in one of the fields there was a bright, shiny, silver escalator going up to nowhere.  :-\\  I thought maybe it meant someone was dying and going to heaven. Then, I got a call a little while ago that my brother in laws mother is in the hospital and is in very bad shape. She may not make it through the next day or two.  :( 



I am so sorry Gemini. You are in my thoughts.




Cat

I am so sorry Gemini. You are in my thoughts.




Cat

Thanks, Cat. I know you are pretty good at interpreting dreams, what do you think the dream meant?

Thanks, Cat. I know you are pretty good at interpreting dreams, what do you think the dream meant?



Was the phone call in your dream or did it happen? I may have misunderstood your post.




Cat

Was the phone call in your dream or did it happen? I may have misunderstood your post.




Cat

The dream was last night, the phone call was a couple of hours ago.